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162 Reviews Found

Review #1, by maryhead The Trial

4th October 2014:
Hey there! Once upon a time, definitely too many weeks ago, we agreed on doing a review swap. Well, this is my late, late and again late comment to your story. I know, I am horrible. If you saw my desk right now, you would probably understand my delay, although there is probably no excuse. Anyway. Let's start reviewing!

I think this is probably the most intriguing and intricate prologue I've ever read. And I read it multiple times, because it is so rich of information I was terrified of leaving something out.

Now, usually I tend to ramble nonsensically in my reviews, but what we have here is so complicated I'll need to sort my mind out. SO. I think we should probably begin with the style, since that's an easy one. Well, to be honest, I could probably summarize my thoughts about it in one single adjective: impeccable. It is highly descriptive, but not too detailed, so as to maintain fresh the whole reading process and not tire the reader out. Merlin, I could probably re-read this ten times and I wouldn't get tired of it. Moreover, you managed to balance well the dialogue, which is a thing I always struggle with ;), adding a realism that is quite... unusual to certain kinds of fanfiction. I like it. A lot.

Then, we have the characterization. Well, at this point of the story I can't certainly say much about it, apart from the fact that I am happy that they are all alive and well, and... is Abigail Potter a female version of Harry Potter? That would be interesting. I like Fem!Harry stories. But I am getting of track. Returning to the matter at hand, Grace seems to be quite an intriguing OC, and I am looking forward to reading more about her personality. In this part I was only able to admire her courage and ability to bear such an incredible stress after having been beaten up in a... fight? Battle? Anyway, she seems pretty great, and powerful, and cool. I hope she will show some flaw in the future, or my self esteem will retreat back into its cave and never come back!! :D Apart from her, unfortunately, I cannot say much about the characters, although I have the feeling their personality will be deeply analyzed in the future.

Aand here we are, dear... THE PLOT. It is incredible that a single prologue managed to to trigger such a wide range of questions in me. You gave out a tiny little bit of information compared to what this story certainly implies, but at the same time you told us so MUCH. A mysterious OC, a conversation with Death, the resuscitation of many very dead characters, the apparition of an entire classroom of heirs of the Marauder's Era and very unexpected pairings. Very unexpected indeed. I didn't read the summary or the warnings before reading this, so I actually don't know if you mentioned it in the introduction, but I somewhat expected Grace to be with Sirius. My fault. This is much more original, I have to admit. Anyway, point is you gave me a lot to think of, and this is good, especially because in this last month I wasn't able to read many fan fictions that could stimulate my mind in such a powerful way. Everything is so different from anything we know about the books... It looks like an Original Fiction, in a certain way, and that's certainly a good thing! I really have at least a thousand questions, but I have the feeling I will get the answer soon enough. This trepidation to read more both kills me and excites me, I simply can't wait to read what happens next!

I am sorry again for the incredible delay in this review, and I am also sorry that this comment revealed itself to be much more rambling than I originally thought... The only excuse I have is that it is incredibly late here, I just watched the last X-men film and I still have an impressive amount of things to study. I just couldn't let you wait more!

Anyway, I did love this chapter, and I am looking forward to reading more. If too much time passes between this and the next review, do not hesitate to PM me!

Farewell, my friend, and sorry again!


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Review #2, by marauderfan Halloween 1976 -- Part Two

18th September 2014:

Manhandle somebody and trap them in a closet once and they seem to have a life-long grudge surrounding it. People needed to learn how to relax. ... love it

Aw, I liked that scene with Sirius and Grace. Even though he was really drunk, and maybe that's part of why he was sharing all that information about himself, but just the fact that he went to talk to her and she tried to be a good friend. I also think it was interesting the way you contrasted their vices - Sirius drinking firewhisky alone, and Grace thinking about her dependence on cigarettes. As well as Grace's very astute self-analysis about her dependence on things and her subsequent reasons for refusing firewhisky.

I hadn't even considered that Sirius might think Grace was interested in Regulus. I mean, she did shove him into a closet and then dress up for potions with him. But yeah, I don't think the knowledge that Grace's soul mate is Snape instead would make Sirius feel any better about it! :P

Asjdfkj the vampire! I had forgotten about it. I've said before and I'm sure I will say it again - you are so great at writing action scenes - your writing feels very alive. It also really gets the reader into Grace's mind as the only action that's written is what Grace notices and feels and does, so it's like seeing this battle through her eyes. It's cool.

Lol, Sirius being nearly killed by a vampire and then only mentioning that he's hungry. And then telling his friends how awesome it all was. *Eyeroll* But I'm glad that all made him feel better. Note to self: next time you're feeling down, don't go for the firewhisky - instead get into a fight with a vampire and then eat some Halloween candy. :P

Great chapter!!! ★ :D


So, drunk Sirius is a little more open than sober Sirius, but that's okay, because I'm trying to make these two have a friendship (though sometimes it doesn't seem to work all-that-smoothly).

Haha, no, I don't think that discovering that Snape was her soul mate would make Sirius feel any better. :p

I really let that vampire thing go on for too long, but I really wanted to save it for the Halloween chapters! Yay! I'm glad that you enjoy the action scenes, as I enjoy writing them.

:D Sirius. What are you going to do with him? Right, do well to remember that! Haha

Thanks so much!


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Review #3, by teh tarik The Trial

5th September 2014:
Hello Rumpel! Goodness, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to review your story for our swap! Especially after you've left me such a long and infinitely lovely review - thank you so much!

And what can I say about this story of yours, except I'm hooked. I love AU, and I've seen this story around, and I'm kicking myself a bit for not having read it until now. BUT that means I've got something to read in the days/weeks to come. Also, dead characters coming back to life? Check. Possible conversation with Death, a character? YES.

Grace is absolutely amazing and so intriguing as the main character, from her bloodied-up appearance, and her memory-modifying ability, and the fact that she insists on modifying the memories of the freaking Wizengamot (I hope I read that part right!). And she's friends with Dumbledore and Shacklebolt as well. As well as being James's sister, and possibly has a daughter with Severus? Clearly, there's a LOT of background information with the characters and their relationships with each other, but I think you made a very wise choice not to spill all that info right here in the first chapter, and avoid huge clunky info dumps. Also, now I must definitely read on to find out what happened. How did these dead people come back to life. And which ones never died (Regulus?!?) What did Grace offer Death in return. I'm so intrigued to find out how you've altered canon characters!

I'm so so excited for the rest of this story; I've favourited it and though it will take me some time to get through the chapters, I will definitely be reading on! Yay! Thanks so much for the swap, Rumpel! ♥


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Review #4, by Lululuna Halloween 1976 -- Part Two

2nd September 2014:
Hi again!!

Ahh, so the vampire was unexpected! Well, sort of, but I had kind of forgotten about it, so it was quite scary. You write the battle scenes really well: they're suspenseful without being too gory which I really like.

The idea that Sirius thinks Regulus is her soulmate made me laugh. If only he knew... well, he did suspect, and I feel like Snape being her soulmate is probably even worse for the Marauders.

I thought Sirius was sweet here, even though he was extremely drunk. It's nice to see him opening up to Grace and showing the pain he has experienced regardless of the circumstances.

it was interesting how you addressed Grace's addiction to cigarettes and how she recognizes that she has a dependent personality. It fits with her character, not only that she would be dependent but also that she notices that and tries to prevent a new addiction from forming. It was a little detail but something that really was powerful to me.

Another great chapter, I'm already excited for the next one!! :D

Author's Response: Hello round two!

Bahah, so I may have let the vampire thing go on for a bit too long...but I wanted to save it for the Halloween chapters!

I think that, despite everything, that discovering that Snape is her soulmate would be worse for the Marauders than if Regulus was... they just don't like Snape...

Oh the budding friendships ^.^. Drunk Sirius is a little more open than sober Sirius.

Thanks for the lovely reviews!! :D


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Review #5, by Lululuna Halloween, 1976 -- Part One

2nd September 2014:
Hey hey!!

Ooh, great chapter! I've really missed this story and Grace's insane life. I thought the beginning section was really haunting and beautifully written what with the oddness of Grace wandering through the future and the horror of seeing James' body. It's a good reminder of how awful her gift of knowing the future is, and I wish there was something she could do to help. After all, this is an AU... right?! I thought her throwing up after seeing it was Halloween was effective as well.

One thing I noticed that you could think about was this description: with its white siding and picket fence, which I just thought sounded quite American. A British cottage, especially in historic Godric's Hollow, might have a stone wall in front of it instead of a picket fence - they're pretty big on those over there. :P And maybe stone walls covered in vines or something instead of siding, but again I'm not sure how exactly the Potter cottage was described in the books.

I hope Grace does go to the party! Lily was so funny with how nerdy she was. She's a lot like Hermione and I'm glad you've emphasized the goody-two-shoes part of her character.

Hmm, I wonder if perhaps Grace didn't mind looking her best in front of Severus, even though she denied it? :P Regulus was really rude and I wanted to smack him, and I like how you've made him a truly nasty character. He just feels like a little spoiled brat. I was on the edge of my seat throughout the potion exploding, ahh I can't believe that happened!! Grace and Sev's little tumble on the floor was sweet, though. :P It's fun to see her getting a break from all her crazy responsibilities.

I think business is going to go down at this party, and I'm guessing Grace might find her way there!! Awesome chapter, Rumpel! :D

Author's Response: TWO reviews? How did I get so lucky?

I'm SO not telling what's going to happen *evil grin*.

Oh yes, that's probably a very good idea. I didn't even think about the difference between what a typical American household would look like versus a typical British household. Duh, Rumpel...

She is a bit like Hermione in this, isn't she? ;)

I'm sure there was something brewing along those lines in the back of her teenage mind :p. Regulus, Regulus, Regulus... well, he'll be more important later. Yay, I'm glad that you like the potion-explosion, as that was particularly fun to write.

Business is going down, but not so much at the party ;).

Thanks for the wonderful review!


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Review #6, by toomanycurls Superhero

17th August 2014:
Hi Rumpel!!

Let me start with what my night turned into! 1. I went to my sister's for dinner because my younger brother is in town (this is when I signed up to swap with you). 2. Her neighbors and their family were also involved. this pushed out the duration of dinner. 3. My brother turned 21 today so I talked him into going to a bar at midnight. 4. Said excursion took place.

Okay, on to the chapter. You know, Grace has been under a lot of pressure lately. A nice bath is an excellent solution for jacked up nerves.

Oh Grace - cornering Snape like that is never a good idea. It's nice to see Grace telling Snape aobut her true role EXCEPT HE THINKS SHE'S THERE TO KILL REMUS!! That's not cool!! The funny thing is they both know what they're talking about but have very opposite views there.

I'm going to put the vampire issue on the back burner for now. I know it'll come up again though.

It's nice to see that some good things are happening for Grace - and that she'll get to see her parents. I can't wait to see their reaction to her. And of course James is a great brother. I really like that about him. it does make me slightly sad about harry not having a sibling.

Go Grace with the dating advice!!! I like how you have Sirius torn between the playboy and the lover. Wonderful!!!

OH I love Peter the Peacekeeper. So cute. Stop making me not hate him. It's confusing.

Whooo!! Friend intervention!!

No, wait, two people hanging out equals a date?!? Teenagers. She kind of is a superhero though. *nods*


Love this chapter!

Author's Response: Hai.

You had an eventful evening ^.^. I really didn't mind waiting ;) especially when there was so much going on.

Corning Snape is like cornering a wet cat O.O. Hahaha, it's odd dancing around the Remus-is-a-werewolf issue, because they both know, but they don't come right out and say it ;). Dancing is fun.

It'll come back up later. Later.

James is a great brother ^.^, I can't imagine writing him now without the brother aspect. He'd have to have a person who he treats like a sibling ;).

Grace in all respect should probably not be giving dating advice, but neither should Sirius, and he's done that already ;).

It's okay not to hate Peter for a little while, anyways.

:D If I didn't end the chapter there, then it would have been impossibly long.

Thanks for the swap, Rose!


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Review #7, by Veritaserum27 The Trial

16th August 2014:
Hello Rumpel!

I'm here for the review swap. I've been meaning to read this story for a while now, so I was very excited to have an excuse to do it.

Holy cow! This is unlike anything I've ever read on this site. This first chapter is really riveting. I am intrigued to know how all of it fits together.

I read the summary and Grace has a twin? I'm guessing that it is James (duh, her name is Grace Potter.) So that is the first mystery. She obviously didn't know about James before she went to Hogwarts.

Then we have all of these children born of the Marauder's era wizards. Very interesting. Also - Harry has a sister? Wow.

I really liked that this first chapter takes place in November 1998. I really love stories that have a bit of a puzzle to them and you have to work backwards to figure it out. The way you introduced the main character and all of the others was incredible! So creative! I know that you said in your A/N that starting with Chapter 2, it will go back to the Marauder's era, but I know I will still be worrying and wondering about what happens to Grace in 1998.

Great first chapter to the story. Lots of interesting characters, lots of conflict and I can't wait to read more!

Thanks for doing a review swap!

Beth (Veritaserum27)

Author's Response: HellO!

This story is definitely something that appeals to a particular kind of audience, as some of the subplots are cliche. But...this is my baby :).

Really, this first chapter was entirely confusing, and has been rewritten so many times ^.^. It does leave me a direction to head back to once the story wraps back around , though :).

Thanks so much!


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Review #8, by marauderfan Halloween, 1976 -- Part One

23rd July 2014:
RUMPEL! Long time no chapter. (That sounded better in my head. Also, I apologise in advance as it's past midnight and I'm probably just going to ramble away for this entire review. You've been warned.) Anyway, yay.

It almost seemed peaceful. -- Ah, if only. I have a feeling the peace is going to last approximately 4 seconds before something happens, like a zombie jumps out of a black hole in the floor and Grace slays it with her BA demon slaying powers.

Sudden flash of green light. Mm, I called it. (Kind of. Without the zombies and black holes.) WHY IS SHE BAREFOOT WHILE SHE GOES OFF TO SLAY VAMPIRES? SHE'S GOING TO STEP ON A NAIL OR A VAMPIRE FANG AND GET TETANUS.

OMG SCARIEST DREAM EVER. Sorry this is like a shout-fest so far. I'll try to ease off on the capslock.

Grace's Bath Interruption #64, brought to you by Marlene.

Lololol only to Grace does spending the afternoon with Snape sound like more fun than partying with the Marauders. *eyeroll* Oh... well I guess there is that legitimate reason of awkwardness with Remus. Also, YOU WROTE SIRIUS' BIRTHDAY AS HALLOWEEN? Cruel. The Universe gave Sirius the WORST birthday present in 1981. Happy birthday, your best friends are dead. So it goes. :P

I like Anne, even though she's never actually appeared in the story apart from in letters or memories. I feel like she needs to meet Remus, because she'd be able to knock some sense into him so he stops being so self-deprecating. Like she could give him the "This is how to be awesome and confident and appreciate who you are even though you're a werewolf" talk.

“The two of you really need to get out and have a little fun,” Marlene insisted, “before you guys are too old to actually have fun.” -- Listen to her, Lily! (Because you'll never actually get that old.)... :[

Grace has a lot of self control in this scene with Regulus taunting her. I'm impressed - I might have slapped him. Also, I know this isn't supposed to be funny but that scene when Grace fell on Snape and then rather than getting up and worrying about acidic potions dissolving her textbook, she cuddles into Snape's arm XD Haaahaha I kind of loved that.

You write teenage Snape really well. He sounds a lot like adult Snape, just slightly less eloquent and bitter and angry - but still somewhat bitter and angry because he's Snape. :P Anyway, your portrayal of him is really good!

I'm sorry about the complete hodgepodge of shouting and rambling that is this review but it was a fantastic chapter! It was good to see a new chapter of this story :) Keep up the great work!

Author's Response: Hahaha...I need to get better about updating. Also, I'm fairly sure that all of the reviews you've received from me have been full of rambles, so I think I'll survive a ramble from you ;).

Zombies! ...erm...nope no zombies here! What gave it away? :p Yup, you called it! She should have known she wasn't awake, being barefoot in the middle of the night on a street that she didn't recognize...and couldn't remember how she got there. Silly Grace. She'll have to remember her shoes to protect against vampire tetanus, haha!

Bathing interruptions seem to be the common theme for the girls' interactions, so I didn't want to break tradition ^.^.

I *almost* had her go to the party instead...but then I wouldn't have been able to write my fun potion-making scene...so, you know ;). I DID make Sirius' birthday on Halloween! :D I thought it would be fantastic irony (and give me something to work with, as I'm considering an ongoing Halloween chapter each year until...well, you know). Happy birthday!...oh, and not to mention, he gets blamed for it (Sirius will not be having the best of luck, will he?).

Anne will come around eventually. If we jump back to the prologue (which was still fairly muddled way back when you first read it), Remus' first baby will be with Anne -- so, she'll be around. *Evil laugh*. *Cough* I think having a talk with another werewolf -- especially one that accepts her condition -- will be good for Remus.

Feels :(.

Grace did have a lot of self control, especially for Grace. I would've slapped him, too. Hahaha, I laughed while I was writing that, so I suppose it could be taken as a funny scene (it amused me, anyway). And who wouldn't want to cuddle Snape when an acidic potion is destroying everything in its path? O.o Erm. Don't answer that.

^.^ Yay, I'm glad you like the teenage version of him (I've been trying not to make him sound too overly adult Snape-y).

This was an absolutely fantastic rambly review! (I'll try to update more often...bad Rumpel). Thanks so much!


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Review #9, by Lululuna A Werewolf, Snape, and a Redhead

7th July 2014:
Hi Rumpel! :) I didn't even realize you had a new chapter up so I'm so glad I came to double-check!

First of all, I laughed so much at Grace going up to hug Severus during their Potions lesson, and how confused he was, hehe. I can just imagine her being so tired and just wanting to hug him and him just being terrified, ahahaha. But it's so cute to see them finally getting along.

I might have mentioned this before but I think it's so clever how you explain the werewolf phenomena which accommodates canon but also allows a more noble and graceful identity for Remus as a werewolf. The fact that he needs Grace to turn into a proper wolf, not the dreadful and painful half-man monster, fits so well and shows how important the Servitor and Trucido are to one another, whereas I'm not sure if I quite understood it fully before.

I thought Remus was justified to be so angry though he can't deny that it helped him. He's so self-deprecating and has been consumed with the idea of being a monster that it's hard for him to think of himself as otherwise. And we all know that Grace was never going to listen to him anyway. :P

Awesome chapter, Rumpel! ♥

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey there!

Ha, Grace still hasn't learned everything about boundaries yet...so she snuck in a hug (or two). Of course, he wasn't overly receptive of the hug, but I suppose we can't blame him ;).

So far, I haven't exactly done the best job of explaining the Servitor-Trucido relationship -- I'm trying to get better at doing that. Though, it would be easier if the characters weren't butting heads at the moment.

Of course he was angry, she broke a promise to him and, in his eyes, put herself in danger. Though, you're right, he's not very accepting of what he is, and it weighs down all of the good things he could see in himself. No, she was never going to listen anyway ^.^.

Thanks so much!


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Review #10, by Hogwarts27 A Werewolf, Snape, and a Redhead

17th May 2014:
Hi, nicely written chapter. Great description of Moony in transformation. That and the the forest scene right afterward were my favorites. Something tells me those forest noises Remus noticed weren't just forest animals. I liked the part where Grace tells Remus he can't hurt her even if he were to bite her. Unfortunately, the message didn't seem to sink in with him. And as usual, these two don't see eye to eye. I also enjoyed the potion making with Snape. The whole chapter was nicely done.

Author's Response: Hey,

Thanks so much for sticking through the story so far!

Those forest noises probably weren't just forest animals...

Thanks again for being a wonderful reviewer!


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Review #11, by kenpo Breaking

13th May 2014:
Hello there!!!

I need a break from torturing myself with OBoG (why can't I just let it go and make up my own moon cycles?!?)

I like your CI!

You know, at high enough temperatures and pressures, a substance will pass the critical point, and the gas and liquid phases become indistinguishable. Fun fact.

Maybe that's what's going on here, eh?

I'm sorry. I'm so annoying.

That was... creepy. It reminded me vaguely of a really twisted Wizard of Oz...

Ow Ow! Falling asleep in the boy's dorm? What will the other girls think?! I'm not sure how I feel about all this business. (narrows eyes)

Waiwaiwaiwaiwait. Wait. Hold up. Pause. Rewind. Grace knows that it's not right to put things in other's people's food, but she needs lessons in not rubbing people's bellys and locking people in closets?!

That girl. That Grace. What will we do with her?

I really like the idea of students having to collect ingreidents. I've never thought about that.

James the protective brother, yay! The marauders declaring war on her behalf!

I love this so much. You're totally doing a sort of recap thing, but it's working and I love it and Remus and Lily! I love that Lily is going to help Grace with her hair. YAY.

Once again, momentarily forgot that James was her brother. I don't think that's ever going to stick.

My dog is having a dream.

Her training is really interesting. I'm still a little bit amazed by this whole other realm that you've added to the already complicated HP universe...

Aww... I feel bad for Grace and her social problems. :(! Even though this takes place, what, five years after OBoG, maybe Grace could come help Romulus deal with his problems. I'm sure Romulus will still be reall angsty by then. Although there will be Wolfsbane potions by now... When was it invented? 1974? I'm sure Romulus still has problems, though...

And then there was Severus. You have so many plotlines going. I'm having a little trouble following all of it, but I don't mind. I'm just along for the ride.


A:lkjf;sdjf;aoi;sjef. She wants to be there for Remus and literally take his pain away asl;dkjf;aoiefj. I can't. I can't.

Great chapter. Oh my god. I can't.

Author's Response: kenpo!

I'm finally getting around to responding to my reviews!

Whoo! Thanks for the fun fact! Baha, I was going for more of an in-between worlds scenario, but I'll explain that later.

O.O Ooops, but at least she's in her brother's dorm...there'll be no funny business whilst James Potter's afoot.

Ha, yes, she does know some things (like it's not nice to put things in people's food)...most probably because she's not the one doing it.

I thought that ingredient collecting would be a fun way to include Peter in some scenes ^.^.

Yeah, I thought that the recap would be the best way to move through events quickly, without having to play out entire scenes. James is a good brother ^.^ and he has (right now) some good friends.

There are a ton of relationships that I have to develop -_-.

I love puppy dreams.

Apparently, I don't like to make anything easy on myself. So, other worlds and such! (I have so many notes all over the walls around my desk...so many notes... to help me keep the plot together).

From what I can gather, Wolfsbane was invented by Damocles sometime after the mid 1970s. Even still, I doubt he'd be able to afford it.

Plotlines! Sorry, I know I have a ton of them. Most of them tie together nicely at some point.

Lol, thanks so much!!


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Review #12, by marauderfan A Werewolf, Snape, and a Redhead

7th May 2014:

Lolol, surprise, Remus is a weretapir!! Weretapir, that even rhymes. I mean, why wolves? Seriously, why aren't there any myths anywhere about people turning into Tapirs? Ok, back to the topic. Good description of werewolf transformation, btw.

O_O Remus is quite angry! I guess he has his legitimate reasons. Awww I'm so glad Grace was able to help him through the transformation (and that it makes it easier for him). I have a feeling that despite Grace can't get hurt, Remus is still going to fight her on this for a while because that's such a Remus thing to do.

Didn't bring a cauldron to potions. Derp. Who needs em anyway. Ah, the Room of Requirement is a good friend to have :P but actually I want a room of requirement, it sounds so incredibly useful because I always forget to bring things with me.

Aw, surprise hug! Haha, the mental image of Snape getting a hug. :P I imagine it was about as normal as that time Voldemort hugged Malfoy. So in other words, really awkward XD but I loved Grace's (rather typical) ignoring of personal boundaries, she is so funny that way.

Yay for new friends! And I'm really excited to see Gideon Prewett make an appearance in this story.

Awesome chapter!!!

Author's Response: Hello!

It took me a couple seconds to figure out what you were talking about! A weretapir? :p lol.

Remus IS angry, I had to go back to DH to find the section where Harry calls Remus a coward in order to refresh my memory of angry!Remus...it's a scary thought. -_- Of course he'll be difficult...why wouldn't he be ;).

Heheh, they can just turn over a hat and brew a potion in that, right? I know! I would be in that room forever...nobody would make me leave!

Grace continues her sneak-attacks, but in hug-form now ^.^. Yeah...it was definitely on a Voldemort-Malfoy-level hug. Personal boundaries? What are those? ^.^

Gideon will have a role for a while, because he's Gideon and why not?

I wasn't expecting a review so quickly -- it typically takes the usual suspects (you know, the people who review this) a couple weeks...so I was pleasantly surprised!! Thanks so much!


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Review #13, by kenpo Merlin Was a Slytherin

30th April 2014:


Lemme go make tea.

Seriously. I'm going to make tea. I'm waiting for the water to boil, so I'm going to start reading. I hope that's okay.

Oh! Once again, somehow managed to forget that James is her brother. Nice. Also, I like that James thinks smoking is foul. It... amuses me. Don't know why.

I got my tea. It's Acai Mango. It's weird, but I like it. I usually drink pumpkin tea, but it's caffeinated, and I'd like to get at least two hours of sleep tonight.


James messin' with his hair. Good touch.

Haha. Relations. I've been waiting for this conversation (even though I forgot that they're related). I'm enjoying it. Hehe.


I like getting some of this background. You're so damn creative, Rumpel. (Is jealous).

Their first sibling fight!! How... sweet? I don't think I'm having the correct emotional response to this.

Awww, and he's being all protective even though she got all crazy on him. Nice guy.

Is she really afraid of heights? She can go battle dark crap but not get on a broom?

How do you come up with all this dimension stuff? It's unfair to those of us who are less creative.

No, the conversation was neither too long or too boring. It was brilliant, as everything you write is. Ughh Jealously is real. I really need to read this more.

I love that you devoted an entire chapter to doing some relationship development. It was fantastic. I enjoyed it very very much. This is really a brilliant story. I need to read it more.

Thanks for the swap!!


Author's Response: Yes, a hot beverage is something that is highly recommended for this chapter :D. Yay for tea! I had to replace my coffee with tea, so I have so many kinds :D.

Yup, James is Grace's brother ;), you'll remember someday...maybe.

Relations :). I forgot how much information I shoved in this chapter...THAT'S why you need a hot beverage!

Astral projection...that has to be a tough 'power' not to have harnessed. Every now and again you just 'leave' your body and go elsewhere...:D

Creative? Crazy maybe.

The fight was fun, though I had to write carefully because I didn't want to completely ruin their new relationship. :D I think that James would be a very protective brother.

She's not so fond of the idea of flying... killing things, fine, flying...not-so-much.

Remember...just crazy.

I'm glad that you liked the conversation...there were a ton of questions to answer so I thought it may be a bit heavy on info.



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Review #14, by Lostmyheart A Rat in the Kitchens

28th April 2014:
Hi again Rumpel!

I can't seem to get away from your story yet.
And I'm sorry that I leave so short reviews, I'm on my cellphone and it's just not the best thing to use when writing reviews.
I love how Grace is so blunt, she clearly doesn't know anything about boundaries! I laughed at the part with her rubbing his stomach, it was hilarious! And brilliant. I love your humor.
And the part with her asking Peter for advice... My god! :D I just love her and this story.

Big hug,
(Ps. Now I'm Going to bed)

Author's Response: That's okay, I'm not prejudice against short reviews ;).

Rubbing Remus' stomach amused me, and I'm glad it amused you too! She really is clueless right now, but that's okay! Peter also needed a little bit of glory in the early days, so I'm trying to include him as well.

Yes go to bed!

Thanks so much!


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Review #15, by Lostmyheart Words, Words, Words

28th April 2014:
Here I am. At the third chapter. Still wanting more.

That's not good. Not good at all :D :b
I really need my sleep and it's not helping with such an interesting and addictive story. I laughed out loud when she called for him, yelling "Snivellus!" Poor girl, She's unintentionally creating an enemy :)

I do sense a Snape/OC in the works, am I right?
Not particularly a fan of Snape involved in stories romantically but with a plot like yours, I don't mind at all!

Loved reading it so far, and now? I'm Going to bed!
- Avi

Author's Response: Sleep deprivation over Everto? That isn't good!

Grace is a bit uncouth and socially incapable at this point ;)...she's ridiculously fun to write that way though!

While the main pair is Snape/OC, romance is definitely not one of the genres. I'd explain more, but I'm afraid I'd give things away. I do try to stick as close to cannon as possible, including the fact that Snape loves Lily ♥.



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Review #16, by Lostmyheart The Big Bad Wolf

28th April 2014:
Hi again!

This chapter gave a lot of informations, but the cliffhanger left me wanting more!
I'm not really sure where to start... It was more interesting than I thought it would be (not that you're a terrible writer, not at all! But because this isn't my normal ship/era) and I loved reading it. I was smiling through most of the chapter, I love Sirius already!

I might read the next chapter now... But I'm so tired and it is so long 0_0 But I really have to hear that so-called long story Grace is about to tell the others! :D
- Avi

Author's Response: :D

Oh that's okay, like I said, not everyone's cup of tea. I'm glad that you're enjoying it, though. While Sirius isn't all that important until later, I had to keep him around :D.


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Review #17, by Lostmyheart The Trial

28th April 2014:
Hi Rumpel!

This was very, very interesting! But after reading your other work, it's not surprising at all :) You have a seriously brilliant creativity.

When I first started reading this, I was so confused! It's 1998 and Albus is alive?! I was thinking to myself, that it wasn't possible for someone like you to mix up the years, then I remembered that you mentioned in the beginning, how AU this story was. "Aaaahh" and everything clicked in my mind.

It was really interesting to read and I have to be honest, that while time I was like "who is Grace?!" :D

I need to find out.
- Avi

Author's Response: AVI! You're awesome :D.

Everto is my baby, though it's completely insane. I know it's not everybody's cup of tea, what with people coming back from the dead, demon slayers, Death, and other fun things. It's still my baby.

This is very AU and has a TON of different subplots that eventually tie into the main plot...over the course of 22 years. :D

Thanks so much!!


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Review #18, by Lululuna Superhero

8th April 2014:
Hello! :) I was so excited to see a new chapter, and mad at myself that it took so long to get here!

Before the fun praise and squee I just have a comment about the use of ... hmm, not sure what it is in English, but let's call it the "past-past" and the dialogue in italics. I don't think you need to use the "past-past" (i.e. she had done vs. she did) just because it takes up so much of the chapter and was a little distracting - I've done that before too and I tend to get carried away with the past-past so I'm extra sensitive to it. :P So that's something to think about, but feel free to ignore me.

I am so nervous about this vampire! Eep, I have a suspicion that was what attacked Grace in the forest, because it's quite mysterious how it just disappeared. And of course the Cruors were just useless about the whole thing. *sigh." I renounce my vote for Severus to die (and it seems like I'm not the only one!) and think the Cruors should die instead because they do nothing but make life difficult for Grace and they are very unreasonable.

I like how Moony and Remus are two separate yet linked entities for Grace, and how she feels she can bond with Moony without hurting her already broken friendship with Remus. I also got really excited at the mention of letters from her parents!! I can't wait for that to happen and possibly for Grace to get some explanations out of them about how they felt about sending their little daughter off as they did.

The scene in the bathroom was quite funny as well - poor Grace, baths really are going to be spoiled for her. I really enjoy these girls and how they just barrel in and do as they like. However, it was also interesting when Lily told Grace off for involving herself in the Snape drama - as she should, Grace was acting a little selfishly. That's what I like about your characters though, how they feel so realistic and flawed and normal that I just really relate to them despite how exciting and awesome their lives are. :P

Hmm, so it seems like this might actually be the beginning of something for Snape and Grace, like they are actually going to sort of get along. Possibly. I'm glad that Grace confided in him, although it's probably a good thing she didn't freak the poor kid out by explaining the soulmate stuff. :P I can't decide whether he'd be flattered or run away screaming in the opposite direction... okay, probably the latter.

The development of the Remus situation is quite interesting as well. I like how Grace got a little jealous about Mary, although Mary is, like, a preteen. :P And how Alice asked why she broke up with him - that moment jut felt really normal and natural, and it was small but I really enjoyed it. It shows too how Grace really isn't close to the girls to talk about these things, even if they are trying.

Great chapter, I can't wait for the next one and to find out what happens in the forest! :D

Author's Response: Hey there!

Oh, that's okay. It took me forever to actually finish the chapter :).

Thank goodness! I believe it's the non-continuous past perfect tense, and it drives me crazy. Since I put the "present" parts of the story in 3rd-person past, I thought I would have to use the past perfect to differentiate between the two (as if the italics didn't give it away). If I don't have to use it, I won't -- it's super annoying :D.

Bum, bum, bum! The mystery of the vampire continues! ^.^ I was going to solve it in this chapter, but I thought that I'd let it run for a little bit. The Crurors are mostly useless for everything... and they expect a lot out of Grace, who is helping them for free. Haha, there were a few people who placed their vote for Severus to die. -_- I see how it is. I think it has something to do with sympathizing with the more likeable character (Remus), and knowing that killing Snape off would be a possible solution.

I'm very excited to write about their week off for the Holidays; I've got so much planned :D. There's also a rough path in fixing Remus and Grace's relationship, so she'll just have to spend time with Moony until then.

Somebody suggested -- marauderfan, I believe -- that I change the story summary to "The story in which Grace's baths are constantly interrupted". That's just a fun little constant that I've been running with, a symbolic place in which Grace is trapped and forced to converse with the girls. Grace isn't looking at this from Lily's perspective, and obviously doing this for her own gain. Yay for flawed characters! :D

Well, they may be able to be in the same room as one another for more than five minutes without one of them saying something odd (Grace) or saying or doing something mean (Snape)... just maybe ;). I'm sure he may run away if Grace told him that he was her soul mate *cough*. That may be coming on a little strong. LOVE ME! strong.

Naturally Remus wouldn't be interested in Mary, she's a little too young for him at this point (though, it's funny that three years doesn't seem like such a large gap as people age). Grace can't see that at the moment though, nor can she justify her jealousy. I'm still working the drama angle for a little bit, I thought it would add a little something to the Hogwarts years (I can't wait until it's over)! Grace really hasn't attempted to open up to the girls at this point...she's been preoccupied.

Thanks!! I'm working on it ;)!


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Review #19, by Gabriella Hunter The Trial

7th April 2014:

Hey, its Gabbie! We were supposed to do a swap yesterday but I didn't have time but here I am to return the favor. (Oh, thank you for the gushy review for my story, it was beyond lovely.)

So, this is probably the most interesting AU that I've read in a while! I totally love the idea and I wonder what actually went through your mind to make something so unique! Its brilliant. I don't read a lot of AU but this is going to be a favorite of mine for sure, I'm already really curious on what will happen! :D

I think that this chapter is nice because it does set up your later chapters and I think Grace is mysterious and strong to have stood there under trial the way that she did. I want to ask how she got there, what they were going to do with her and why there was blood but that's just going to ruin it for me later when I devour the rest of this.
I also love all the mismatched characters that you had going on. You had me at Severus Snape, I can't wait to see how he and the others interact with one another and what might happen once all of their memories are out in the open. The drama and dynamics alone are making me bite my fingernails! :D
I really, really enjoyed this so if you see me around later, stalking this story, don't be too surprised!

Much love,

P.S.: You seemed to have really liked my one-shot, "At Midnight" so I'm going to suggest that you try reading another story of mine called "Transparent". It features the awful Teddy Lupin once again or if that's not for you, "Abandon" has a lot of drama and hot boys oozing dark sexiness. ;)

Author's Response: Hello! That's perfectly okay!

I was a bit surprised that you picked Everto, as it is a bit insane :). I'm glad that you like this AU, though -- it's my baby.

This chapter was meant to be a hook and a strange introduction, so I'm glad that it played its part. Most of the characters are very important to one piece of the story or another, especially Snape.

Thanks so much!


(I may just have to do that when I get more time! I do love your characterization of Teddy ♥ !)

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Review #20, by Hogwarts27 Superhero

6th April 2014:
After Grace wondering what was going on with that vampire that disappeared in the last chapter, the forbidden forest scene at the end of this one really sparked my interest. I'm wondering whether she'll meet Remus during the full moon - or a vampire - or both? Or even something worse, like hordes of vampires. I'll stay tuned.

Author's Response: Hey there,

There's still a bunch happening! I'll unravel the vampire mystery soon, though it seems I keep dragging it along through the chapters. I'm nearly at the point where I can elapse some time fairly quickly -- at least several months (which is fantastic because this has been moving so slowly)!

Thanks so much!


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Review #21, by marauderfan Superhero

2nd April 2014:
"I will if you get your spatula out of my face." I bet this was loads of fun before they cleared all the culinary embellishments of the archives. Anyway, I actually did come here to review instead of giggling about the April Fools prank, which is over.

lol, I like Grace's tactic for talking to people. Surprise attack conversation! It has worked before, so why shouldn't it work every time?

She finally told Snape about portal hopping and demon slayage...and told Marlene and Lily and Alice too. Pretty soon it will be the whole school! Hopefully its not too important of a secret... oh wait it probably is.

And Grace gets interrupted in the bath again. This is becoming a common theme of this story. Perhaps you should change your story summary...right now it says some stuff about demon slaying but I really think it should say "This is a story about getting interrupted in the bath." :p

oy vey. Sirius and Marlene are fools. Open your eyes, fools. (That's me talking to them.)

and another cliffy!

(Sorry, looks like you're never going to get a normal review from me either.)

but anyway, great chapter, Rumpel!

Author's Response: Oh hai!

The April Fools joke was pretty fun! I did spend some time reading Everto while it was all...food-ified :D. I think my favorite part was in Amends and Negligence... "Kitchen Safety had taken an interesting and slightly frightening turn... 'Miss Pastry! Take out your spatula!'..." There was so much in that chapter that was just fantastic. :D

Anyway. The attack conversation seemed right down Grace's alley... And, it was mildly effective!

At some point in the second chapter (or possibly the third) I added a brief conversation as to why she didn't want her secret revealed. It was after you'd read it of course...so... you know ;). Basically, it's not a big deal to have people know...more or less an inconvenience.

Lol, it does happen quite a bit, perhaps it should be in the summary ;).

Yes, fools :D. That's okay though, I've got plans!

Normal review? What's that? It doesn't sound fun, lol. I was going to make the chapter longer, but I hadn't updated in so long I thought it be a good length to transition back into the story :D.

THANK YOU! &heats;


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Review #22, by 1917farmgirl The Trial

26th March 2014:
Okay, THAT was a whirlwind ride! Talk about characters coming at you from right and left! And SO many questions!

Seriously, though, it's brilliant. Throwing readers right into the thick of things and shoving stuff at them left and right. If that doesn't make people want to keep reading, I don't know what will!

You have a very, very nice writing style. It draws readers in and lets them see the story playing out before them. And even though I only know about half of these characters, they seem real and I already care about them and want to know what's going on.

I also have to give you bonus points for handling such a HUGE amount of characters in this chapter. I know I always struggle when I write large crowds with making sure I don't "lose" people in the writing. You did a very good job!

So, now I need to know exactly who Grace is, what she can do, how she changed everything... And then there's this rather dodgy sounding conversation with Death. Death doesn't make good deals, usually, so I'm very nervous! What did Grace have to give him?

See, hooked already. Told you I would be! I promise I'll be back for more.

- Farmgirl

Author's Response: It has taken me FOREVER to respond to this, along with my other reviews...I'm working my way up the list :D.

I'm glad that you enjoyed this, like we've discussed, this one isn't everyone's cup of tea!

This chapter was rewritten so many times, but I think I've managed to, well...manage the characters finally. There's a ton of name-dropping in here that gets confusing!

Why does everybody want to hate on Death? ;) ...don't answer that.

Thanks so much!!


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Review #23, by Lululuna Simulation Number Two

17th February 2014:
Hello! :) So before I get reviewing I just wanted to say this is my 500th review, yay! :D I was trying to decide who to bestow it on (haha) and since you're so lovely and I hadn't gotten to the next chapter of Everto yet this was just perfect. So yay! :)

The CI is SO COOL! Wow. Mad skills.

You know... if Sev got eaten and killed by a vampire... would anybody REALLY mind? I mean, Grace could be with Remus and everyone would be happy. Except for Tonks, and the Everto gods, and probably it would be a little inconvenient for Dumbledore. But still... :P

I love how you wrote the action scenes. The vampires with their rows of teeth are terrifying and I love the attacking and killing scenes since you write them so flawlessly. It really shows how hardcore Grace is as well.

You have begun the transformation to what you claim to hunt. Okay, Death is really being a bit of a jerk right now. I mean, HE IS DEATH. He really shouldn't be talking, literally and in this situation. :P It's not fair to make Grace feel guilty especially when she does seem to mostly act in self defense and not necessarily like killing. I do love Death's creepy presence in her life, however, even if he makes me mad. Also, I really hope that shouldn't be taken literally in saying that Grace is turning into a vampire as that would cause some difficulties...

The Servator dynamic is just getting all the more interesting. I like how beyond being a team, they can heal and be there for one another. It reminds me a little of... hmm, therapy dogs? Don't tell Remus I said that. :P But it's very sweet, and I like how Grace is finally realizing how to define her relationship with Remus.

Most of all, she thought that maybe she shouldn't have begun the conversation with 'I love you'. Oh no, poor Remus. :( I do really like though how you summarized the breakup in this way instead of writing the full thing out. It was more powerful for it and really made me feel for Grace, since she does have a hard task in front of her. I also loved the whole paragraph talking about the hand book and how it causes her to be conflicted. Sad, but it had to happen.

Ah, I'm so curious about what went on with the vampire and escaping from Cruor Terra. I can't wait for the next chapter! :D

Amazing job as always, this was so brilliant! :) I can't wait to find out what is in store for Grace and the gang next!

Author's Response: First, happy 500th! Second, I'VE MISSED YOU AND YOUR STORIES! *Cries* I've been a busy Rumpel. Third, OMIGOSH YOU CHOSE ME AS YOUR 500th! You love me! :D Hahaha, okay, I'll stop shouting now.

Oh, it was my first animation! :D I was very proud of it.

Why is everybody trying to kill Severus? Rose broke up with me for like a day (you know, from our strange HPFF love affair) because Remus and Grace broke up. Aaand she wants to kill Sev. Poor guy gets the short end of the stick. Everybody's even for Peter at the moment! But not Severus -_-. I might have to change the MP and the opening chapter if I killed him off ;). Ahaha, okay, I'm done with my Severus rant.

I found out after the first trip to Cruor that I really love writing action! Action! Whoo! This scene was written to the song "Kung-Fu Fighting" :D. *Cough*

I'll let Death know that he's being a jerk. Haha, the communication with Death during a certain...erm...*state* (that's what I'll call it for now) will be important later on. Oh, no, it wasn't meant to be literal. Becoming a vamp in Cruor happens through a series of complex blood magic rituals in which the soul is entrapped in the body of a corrupt being. Er, kind of like the opposite of what a dementor does :D.

Hahaha, you so called Remus a therapy dog. I will tell neither Rose nor Remus about that... :D. I'm slowly revealing what it means to be Everto and Servator :D. *Cough* More of that later though!

Oh the break up (which you didn't yell at me about, yay)! My defining the line, it will push them away from where they were, and create a stronger, better friendship :D, which is where they are supposed to be but...er...hormones and kissing and stuff.

Haha, I did a sort of mid-chapter cliffhanger! There was a lot going on in this chapter.

Thanks so much!! I'm working on the chapter, but changed my mind and started it again. I'll get there!


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Review #24, by Maelody The Trial

12th February 2014:
Ok, so I'll read and review your founder's story when I catch up with my huge reading list, but I HAD to read this one! It's been pulling at my mind every time I see your name. I'm so not disappointed! Confused. But not disappointed ;).

What an original concept! I don't quite get it yet, but by what I do understand, I've never seen anything like it! The dead and living, children that are out of our knowledge, and memories required to tell a story. This is truly unique and I can't wait to get caught up with it! It's amazing! You're amazing!

Sorry that's all I have for now, but that's because I need to rush through my reading list now to get back to yours! I can't wait to catch up!


Author's Response: Hello! I'm finally getting around to answering my reviews!

Haha, I'm glad you like it. Be careful in Everto land...don't trip over anything. It's a bit scary in here sometimes!

Yeah, the intro...it's a lot! Er, let me try to help. Grace is an Everto Trucido (which translates from Latin {roughly} to Demon Slayer). So we have a demon slayer. She has a Servitor, who has yet to be disclosed. Her brother is James Potter. She has a kiddie with Severus. There's new babies and people coming back from the dead and it'll all me explained in the super long novel :D. That probably didn't help much.

:D Take your time, it's not going anywhere. Besides, I've got to get caught up with yours as well :D.


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Review #25, by lindslo2012 The Big Bad Wolf

6th February 2014:
This was an incredible chapter! I love how you now brought James and the rest of his gang in, and Grace and James are related!
I am going to have to keep reading on ;)
It made me sit at the edge of my seat when she was under the sorting hat. Very cool, and unique story you have going on here!!!

Author's Response: Whoo!

Thanks so much for the super sweet review! :D


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