Reading Reviews for True Lion
  
16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by sev Exploding Cauldrons

28th August 2014:
Also a bit more lily/sev would make it more interesting and bring up the conflict with James but I'm not sure if its to early for that yet anyway good job.:)

Author's Response: As I said in my other response, this story's on hiatus, but if I do continue it I'll definitely look back over suggestions like this. Thanks for reviewing! :)

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Review #2, by sev Exploding Cauldrons

28th August 2014:
Great job loving this story keep it up and update soon.

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I'm afraid I've rather lost my inspiration with this story and it's currently on hiatus. At some point, I may return and revise/continue it, but my attention is currently firmly on completing my next-gen novel Rainfall. I really appreciate the review, and it may well help encourage me to get back to this story once Rainfall is complete and I have the time, but I'm sorry to say that I'm very unlikely to "update soon" - especially as Real Life will shortly take over a lot more of my writing time. Thank you very much for the review, and I'm really glad you enjoyed it up to here.

~ Leo x


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Review #3, by lexiatel Strange Happenings

6th July 2014:
I am really liking this so far. Not seeing too much Severus' true character though, but being around Lily and actually having friends, I can see him not becoming such a recluse and a grump.

Loving James and Sirius! They are just so funny, the Prank was awesome (or not, but totally hilarious).

I cry for Remus... :( Poor Moony... Lupin parts always make my heart melt, he is my favorite.

Author's Response: Hi Lexi!

As I've warned you, there's a high risk of me clicking "abandoned" on this story. I'd love to finish it but... it just doesn't work for me any more. People say they like it, but I can't connect any more. Maybe with edits, after a break, I'll be able to carry on...

Really glad you like Remus - he is my favourite character, in this story and in general (OK, Hugo's probably replaced him now, but I still love him).

Thank you for a lovely review!

~ Leo xx


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Review #4, by The Misfit Exploding Cauldrons

6th July 2014:
Hi Leonore!

I must admit that AU isn't my favourite thing to read, but I kind of like this so it's a good start :D

Your characterisations are wonderful! Even though this story is very AU, I'm enjoying the characters as they seem to be really well thought-out and I like that you've kept some elements of canon in this story. Severus and Remus' friendship is really interesting to read about, too, particularly their relationships with the other boys and Lily.

One thing I would like to see more of in this novel though is a little more conflict. In my personal opinion, everything seems to be falling in place for Severus and it feels a little unrealistic to me, particularly with his Animagus abilities (in canon, the. Marauders didn't manage it until fifth year and that was with three of them). I feel like including some sort of problem in Severus' life that he has trouble with would help improve the authenticity of the plot :)

Nevertheless, it was an enjoyable read and has a lot of potential to do well :) Good luck with completing the story by the end of the month!

-Isobel

HOUSE CUP 2014 REVIEW
GO HUFFLEPUFF!!

Author's Response: Hi Isobel!

I'm not at all confident in it's ability to be finished by the end of the month. As you say, it lacks conflict and is rather unrealistic; I rushed Sev getting animagus because I was bored, something that I've worried about at intervals since. The story wasn't planned beyond "Snape is a Gryffindor" and it shows.

I'm so glad you like characterisation, because I'm constantly convinced it's lacking. I might not delete the story as I was thinking of, then, but do some major editing. I had a short attempt at writing more but got bored again. And now I'm doing Camp NaNo with a new novel which is going great especially as it comes complete with conflict. I'll certainly add conflict if/when I edit/continue because, as you say, it is all falling into place for Sev.

That's comforting to hear! I'll try to do something with it rather than straight-off deleting.

Thanks!

~ Leo xx


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Review #5, by Ohpl Back To School

19th May 2014:
Very interesting story.I am really enjoying it.

Author's Response: Really? Thanks! Incentive to get on with an update... ;)

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Review #6, by AgentPH22 Diagon Alley

31st January 2014:
I really like this story. Poor save being disowned. You would think the Mom wouldn't mind due to the fact she married a muggle. Hope James and Sirius come up with a better prank. Turn Slytherin's hair red and gold? Transform the marble staircase to a slide? They are pretty smart form first years. Hope the Maruaders find out about Moony and they all become animagus. For the stopping the tree, Wengardium Leviosa would work.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review - those suggestions especially will come in handy. I would have liked another prank but couldn't think of one, so it is something that has been happening "off screen". There is a background to why Severus was disowned, I just haven't come up with it yet :P (Clearly not just for the sake of plot convenience ;) ). I really appreciate the review and will try to get you another chapter as soon as real life and my inner muse permit!

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Review #7, by sunny True Lion

6th January 2014:
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP, FOR THE SAKE OF THE MAN WHO GAVE UP HIS LIFE FOR THE WOMAN HE LOVED, PLEASE DO A SNAPE/LILY. AND LET THEM BE TOGETHER, LET THEM BE HAPPY! and can i be their bridesmaid at their wedding? Sunny's the name ;)

Author's Response: Lily would choose her own bridesmaids, so you'd have to talk to her about that, and if you mentioned a wedding right now she would probably be seriously creeped out. Long way to go yet, anyway, and you're not getting any spoilers! (I have already planned how it will end) You will just have to keep reading.

Very... enthusiastic review. Thank you.

Leonore


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Review #8, by Emma Work Experience

14th December 2013:
Hey, this is great stuff! I hope you're continuing, and please more Lily/Sev. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thanks! I will continue, but the next chapter may not be until the queue reopens after Christmas - too busy.

-Leonore


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Review #9, by Nerissa8 Work Experience

4th December 2013:
That must have been a really difficult chapter to write. You did a good job. I know I keep saying it would be good to have more Snape/Lily but just as friends for now, I think it would be good for Severus to have not just Remus as a friend.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. I'm currently trying to build the friendship between them. At the moment Severus and Remus are very close because they share such huge secrets. They are both quite shy, but I think they'll get used to James and Sirius in the end. This work experience section means I've had to pause that for now anyway, but I expect they'll all have grown up a bit when they get back from the holiday.

Leonore


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Review #10, by toomanycurls Gryffindor!

20th November 2013:
Hello!!! I'm here for RRT! This is the other story that looked interesting to me.

I love that Lily had the same fears Harry did at sorting. It's nice to see where he's gets his lack of a super-ego from. It's interesting that the hat was torn between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor for her - I would have thought Ravenclaw to be the other choice.

Hmm, what caused Snape to ask for Gryffindor? I know this is meant to be a shift from canon but a bit of background on why it was so appealing to him despite everything we know about severus from before school would be cool. I do think he shows as an adult that he would have been a great fit in that house, but as an 11 year old he was quite set that Slytherin was the way.

I'm also not sure how/why he'd know about occlumency before even starting school. Sirius and Remus did say he came to school knowing a lot of jinxes but actually being able to do occlumency would be not just advanced but unheard of. Does how he got that skill come out later on?

ha! I love the banter between the kids in the dorm that night. *sigh* Remus is so nice to Severus. It's a bit fast for him, Sirius, and James to be too buddy-buddy though. I mean, they can't be bffs just from the train ride. It seems like Remus calling them idiots would be a great line/jape after a few years of being friends but not within a few hours of meeitng.

I could see Peter in Hufflepuff, but how did the others come to that conclusion? I mean, did he go all loyal and hardworking on the train? Just wondering because it seems like an odd thing to say after just meeting someone.

I'm so excited to read more of this! I love hte idea behind it. How much are you planning to stay with canon-ish characterizations? Will Snape still have a cruel streak despite being in Gryffindor or will he become nicer and less greedy? Ah, there's so much to re-think with this (just from a reader POV).

-Rose

Author's Response: Hi Rose!
Finally getting round to responding. Good points - I'll give my views.
Severus wanted to be with Lily. She softened him. Cruelty came from a tough home life where his muggle father was very controlling. He wanted to be in control, which made him a bit of a bully, and he was convinced the world was an unfair place. He didn't see that kind of thing as being so bad because he'd been used to it from a young age. Lily's reactions showed him what she considered right. When she got angry about dropping that branch, he realised he didn't want to lose her and resolved never to do anything like that again. Later in the story, he's not fighting back, and that's at least partly because he knows Lily wouldn't want him to. In many ways for him that's braver than resorting to violence. Seeing Lily isn't something his parents approved of - he's had to be brave to do that, to forge that friendship. He already loves her, although he might not admit it yet. He cares deeply, and there's something more than friendship. I never considered him a Slytherin, particularly not at that stage. Spending time with future Death Eaters drew him to that. Occlumency, I didn't think that through properly! One of those skills best taught early, his mother was a witch who knew how. It came naturally to him.
Lily? I don't remember mention of her being really brilliant. Exceptional at potions and charms, but not all round. Her life didn't revolve around knowledge. She was clever, but normal (no-one can claim we're normal) Hufflepuff - Incredibly loyal, and she hardworking. Her strong side is how caring she is, although she can be fiery at times.
Becoming friends - at that age, friendships are made quickly and they're not as worried about offending each other as if they were older. Bickering is normal. It is a very long train ride, with little to do, and as they were in a compartment together the whole way they found out a lot about each other. Sirius and James, both from old families, may have met at pure-blood functions. James especially is very confident and friendly so helped the others relax. They've worked up to being called idiots - a mild enough insult. Remus discovered that they don't take offence. As 11-year-old boys, I doubt it took long to make friends.
Seeing Peter as a Hufflepuff. He's been sorted there and coming up with the reasons is easier than deciding which house he should be in. Whatever house he was in, they could find an excuse - "I though he looked the booky sort" if he was Ravenclaw, or the kind of "Well he did say..." and pick out something that fits the stereotype for a particular house. Also, there's the view of Hufflepuff that it's for the ones who don't fit in anywhere else. The leftovers, which is how Peter looked. He was quiet and keen to be liked, probably desperate to help at some point. They'd use that to say "oh yes, of course he's a Hufflepuff". Arguing a point is easier than coming up with it in the first place.
Canon characters - this is very AU. I've tried to start it about the same, but the story is largely about the changes caused by Severus being Gryffindor. His character is already different, or he wouldn't have been sorted there. Being with the blood-purists and ambitious members of Slytherin did no good, but in Gryffindor he won't be surrounded by the pressure to conform to Death Eater ideals, and he'll have different friends who accept him for who he is instead of having to weave his way through Slytherin politics.
Yes, a lot to rethink. This is very AU, and you just have to go with it. The story has a mind of its own, so even if I try hard to keep the characters canon it doesn't necessarily work. What they do fits images I have in my head, but may not always make sense to readers. You have to forget what you know about the characters later and just go with the flow. AU's like that sometimes.
It took a long time to get around to this response but I hope I've made up for it!
Character limit.

Leonore


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Review #11, by celadon Gryffindor!

18th November 2013:
Here for the Blue and Bronze Battle!

What an interesting perspective! Snape in Gryffindor and Peter in Hufflepuff. I never really thought of Severus being brave, but I'm heavily intrigued to see where this goes. Perhaps this might change his attitude towards muggleborns and learn to be a little relaxed? Can't wait to see where this story is heading! Excellent writing style by the way; the story flows so well :)

Author's Response: Thank you! It makes sense to me, especially as at that stage they haven't developed so much so its really a bit early to sort. And the sorting hat takes choices into account. Peter in Hufflepuff is pretty obvious - I've never really seen any Gryffindor characteristics.

Leonore


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Review #12, by Nerissa8 Summer

3rd November 2013:
Yay!! Another chapter! It's really good that you update regularly. The story's still going great. Keep up the good work!!

Author's Response: Thanks! Don't know about regularly, but when I can...

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Review #13, by Nerissa8 Full Moon

28th October 2013:
Yay another chapter! How often do you update? Or is it just whenever you can? Maybe you could add a bit more Severus/Lily? Really great story!!

Author's Response: I update whenever I can, usually as soon as I can put another chapter into the validation queue. They're only 13, but I'm just about starting to work on the Snape/Lily. The next chapter should be up in the next few days. Glad you enjoy it!

Leonore


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Review #14, by Nerissa8 Transformation

21st October 2013:
I really like how your story is coming on so far, keep up the good work. Maybe you could have a bit more Snape/ Lily but apart from that its great. Keep writing.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm keeping the Snape/Lily down at the moment as they are a bit young to get serious at the moment. I'll try to start working in some Snape/Lily in a few chapters, maybe.

Leonore


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Review #15, by theblacksisters Gryffindor!

16th October 2013:
Well, it looks good. I'm a big Snily shipper, so I'll probably enjoy it.

Author's Response: Snily? Never heard that one before. So far, not much romance (they're a bit young) but later on...

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Review #16, by Nerissa8 Strange Happenings

3rd October 2013:
It's a really good start and you should definitely continue writing. Also Niffler sounds better.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing this story - it means so much. I am glad you like it, and I fully intend to continue with it. I agree Niffler sounds better, but a Nogtail is like a magical pig. And Niffler - keep an eye out in the next chapter.

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