Reading Reviews for Rise
28 Reviews Found

Review #1, by keyty One of Us

1st March 2014:
Here from review tag.

Wow, this is something unlike anything I've ever read. I had always wondered how Regulus had felt during the last few years of his life. Had he always been hesitant? Did something snap near the end? I really like your take on it. It's very interesting. Your description is very strong, I feel like I'm right there with him. Great job, keep it up. :)

 Report Review

Review #2, by Pixileanin Alone

23rd January 2014:
I liked the tone you began this chapter with. Regulus sounds like a little boy here, the way that he refers to his "favorite person in the world" and how he describes each of his relatives by the size of their nose, or how his cousin's mean tricks got to him. And of course the presents. All kids like those!

Even Regulus' choice of ice cream shows how much he wants to be like his big brother. This made me a little sad, knowing what his fate will be in the future. It also makes me a little sick, knowing that Regulus really wanted to show his parents the mark, and on Christmas too! But then they weren't even there. It saddened me even more.

And the letter is very curious indeed. I bet it was meant to say something more, but it probably isn't safe to do that. I felt Regulus' yearning for his brother right there, the way he was torn between his family and his brother.

This chapter flowed smoothly. I wonder why Regulus' parents had to be out on that day, and why Sirius contacted him too. Did Sirius know that his parents would be out? Did Sirius hear about the mark? Questions, questions...

 Report Review

Review #3, by Pixileanin One of Us

17th January 2014:
I felt Regulus' hesitation, the cold, the feeling of anticipated dread when he was outside that door. His hesitation was only delaying the inevitable. I didn't get the impression that he was considering NOT doing what he had come to do, but rather that he was zoning out, trying not to think about it, and just running on automatic.

The contrasts you used to highlight the dark tone were well done. You took the effort to tell us that the door was wooden and heavy, and immediately showed us that Bellatrix opened it without effort, using her wand. It symbolized for me how Regulus was struggling with his place, and Bellatrix had obviously embraced the situation with ease.

It was nice to see the thoughts Regulus had about the people in the room. I loved that you included Dolohov in the scene too. We don't get to see him often, so I appreciated that you chose to use him for this chapter. I hope I get to see more of him. He's an interesting character to me. It makes sense that the Dark Lord would send someone to initiate his members for him. It keeps his presence more of a mystery.

I think you did a great job with the darkness of the tone. The only thing I can think of to tell you is that dark stories come from the dark content. You had that here. I've seen a lot of attempts to write "dark", where all the author does is merely use heavy descriptors and depressing environments, but that's not what makes the story dark, you know. The fear of the unknown, (or the fear of failure, in this case), the horrible things that Regulus had to endure to get to this point, the death of the muggle girl and how that affected him, and then still wanting to go through with what is sure to be a horrible ordeal... all that brought out the dark. Your descriptions enhanced the dark feel of the story, which is what they're supposed to do. If you keep writing this way for this story, letting the dark content lead the way, you're not going to have to worry about writing "dark" at all. I think you've got this!

I can't think of anything else to comment on. This chapter's been up for a while, and it's squeaky clean, as far as I can see.

Lovely (in a dark, horrific way) first chapter!

 Report Review

Review #4, by CambAngst Let Darkness

17th January 2014:
Do you know how hard it is to catch you as the last post in Review Tag? Your stories go flying off the shelf like cookies on clearance! Never mind. I'm tired of trying. I'm just going to review this and skip the pretense.

I really loved this chapter. You put poor Reg in an absolutely terrible situation, one worse than he possibly could have imagined, and we got to see what he's really made of. It turns out that it's probably better stuff than I would have suspected.

First off, though, I thought you did an awesome job with your descriptions at the start. You painted an amazing picture of a dirty, smelly waterfront at night. A great piece of writing!

Bellatrix was written very well, as always, but I thought Snape was the real star of this chapter. You gave him such an icy-calm demeanor, letting just enough emotion crack the surface to give us a small hint of his true motivations. I loved that he wasn't afraid to challenge Bellatrix when he thought it was warranted or beneficial to him. He set a tone from the very start of the chapter, making it clear who among the initiates was in charge.

When you throw Snape together with Mulciber, you had a great combination. Cold and calculating versus loud, emotional and crazy. But somehow they hold it together and manage to work very well until right at the end. It was a good contrast.

Gah, the little girl! That was such a heart-breaking part of this chapter. Also a great plot device -- speaking as a cold, objective author, of course ;) -- to break through Regulus's tenuous mask of emotional control and get to the crux of what makes him tick. I liked the fact that he couldn't do it, although I don't envy you the task of writing the next chapter. It's going to be tough to make this all work in such a way that poor Reg doesn't end up dead somehow.

I'm actually suspicious that Snape will be involved somehow in the final resolution of Reg's troubles. I have no idea what you're planning, but it wouldn't be at all out of character for Snape to modify Mulciber's memory in such a way that he doesn't remember what Regulus did, then use the truth to blackmail Regulus. Isn't speculating fun?

Suggestions? Well, for one I was a little surprised that they didn't don those skeletal Death Eater masks before they attacked. Also, I'm a little surprised that Bellatrix would simply leave them to their task. She's put her own credibility with the Dark Lord on the line here. Maybe she's watching from the shadows or something, but I wouldn't imagine her being that trusting.

Also, a couple of typos:

ďTake Lizzie inside, now,Ē the blood traitor said urgently, fending of several badly-aimed curses at once. -- fending off

ďWell, would you like at that?Ē Mulciber smirked. ďIckle Reggie has gone soft.Ē -- would you look at that

Great chapter! Looking forward to the next one!

 Report Review

Review #5, by Wildmoon Let Darkness

12th January 2014:
This is a REALLY interesting perspective on Death Eater raids. We know so little about Mulicber, and the way you've fleshed him out is just great. I like that Snape's occlumency is already in place, even though at this point he's firmly in Voldemort's camp. It just makes you question him because you don't know what he's going to do next. He's methodical and compartmentalized well before he finds out that Lily's been targeted. Interesting to see him being subservient to Bellatrix. I'd always considered them equals, or him slightly superior to her. It's cool to see him still working his way up the ranks.

Oh Merlin, poor Regulus. He's in so far over his head. You are planting the seeds for his inevitable actions against Voldemort really well.

Looking forward to more!

 Report Review

Review #6, by theblacksisters Let Darkness

12th January 2014:
I did enjoy this chapter, and I hope to enjoy the next one even more! Update soon. :)

 Report Review

Review #7, by HollyStone73 One of Us

7th January 2014:
This is an exciting and suspenseful start to this story! I can feel the fear that Regulus was trying to suppress and feel so sorry for him. (Especially knowing what we know will eventually become of him...)

I love how Regulus ruminates on his father's insistence to never let his feeling show. That just seems so typical of the Black family.

The idea of Regulus having to kill a muggle woman, while gruesome and sad seems like it would be rather typical of what I would expect from an initiation into the Death Eaters ranks. I've always imagined it to be very similar to muggle gang activity.

The personalization of the rest of the gathered death eaters are spot on and rather terrifying. :) You have done very well with your descriptions and set the mood incredibly well. I look forward to reading on and seeing where this goes!!

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for the review!

Oh, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it.

I never imagined it would be easy to become a Death Eater - I think you'd definitely have to prove yourself somehow to Vomdemort!

I'm really glad you liked the Death Eaters, as I had a lot of fun writing them!

Thank you again!


 Report Review

Review #8, by CambAngst Alone

5th January 2014:
Tagging you from Review Tag!

I really liked the dream/memory that you started the chapter with. It was a great look at the less negative parts of Regulusís family dynamic. Uncle Alphard was probably the only positive adult influence on young Regulus and Sirius. The characterization of the two Black boys was great. I love the idea of Regulus as Siriusís tag-along little brother who idolizes him. Sirius wasnít especially nice to him, which in my experience usually only makes the younger sibling try harder. At any rate, it made for a nice contrast to the ending.

There was only one thing in the dream that sounded a bit off to me: Then he could make Bellatrix sorry that sheíd ever turned his ears into cabbages. -- Itís not that I donít think Bellatrix was mean to her younger cousins. Iím fairly sure that she was. But turning somebodyís ears into cabbages felt a bit immature for her. The way I think of her, at least, she would find a juvenile prank like that beneath her. If sheís set his clothes on fire or murdered his pet, that would sound more like Bellatrix.

Iím not sure whatís going on with this green ďDark MarkĒ on his arm, but Iím very suspicious. Iím pretty sure that only Voldemort can mark someone. Iím guessing that Bella and the others are messing him around somehow. Or maybe itís a test, to see whether he can be trusted not to show it to anyone. In that case, itís probably good thatÖ

His parents left him alone on Christmas. To attend some sort of Ministry party. I felt really badly for him. Grimmauld Place must have been so dark and quiet and empty on Christmas Day. The Blacks donít really seem like the type to string up lights and deck the halls. Iím sure it made the absence of Sirius even more painful for him. At least he has Kreacher. I liked the relationship you wrote between Regulus and the old elf. Regulus doesnít treat him like a beloved family member or anything, but he isnít cruel to him, either. Kreacher is obviously intensely devoted to Regulus. I have a real soft spot for the crazy old elf, and I think you really did right by him.

Siriusís note was touching, in a minimalist sort of way. Iím sure that Sirius knows that heís endangering his brother by sending that owl. Thereís likely more that he wanted to say, but it was likely safest to leave it at that.

Iím excited to see Regulusís next interaction with his fellow Death Eaters. Iím curious as to whether he will really get marked this time. I hope youíre able to update soon. Great chapter!

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks for coming back!

I like your idea of changing the Bellatrix bit to setting his clothes on fire. Bellatrix is such an...unsavory character that even at an extremely young age, I'm sure she'd have a violent side!

I definitely wanted to bring Kreacher into the story, as we know that Regulus had a good relationship with him, and this chapter seemed a good way to do it - I've always had a bit of a soft spot for him, too!

Thanks for the review!


 Report Review

Review #9, by CambAngst One of Us

30th December 2013:
Tagging you from Review Tag!

This was a great opening chapter! You set a really great scene, you gave us some background on how Regulus came to be where he is and you got the plot moving. Also, you didn't bog it down with a lot of unnecessary back story. Since we already know who all the major players are, this was a great way to launch the reader right into the meat of the story.

I liked all of the references to Regulus's upbringing and his father's, er, sage wisdom. It sounded exactly like I imagine a childhood in the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. By which I mean, Orion filled his head full of self-important, pureblood supremacist nonsense.

No, he thought, you donít have time to be afraid. Fear is not allowed. -- Yep, that's the House of Black for you. Fear is a weakness, even when any sane person would be terrified.

Bellatrix! I love what you've done with her! If I was going to nit-pick you for anything, I guess it would be following the book description of her a little too rigidly, what with the heavily-lidded eyes and all, but you still made her intense and frightening. The air of menace and barely-contained insanity she projects in this is awesome. And the way that she seems to revel in Regulus's suffering and unease... perfectly characterized. Bellatrix doesn't know allies, only her master and the unworthy servants who keep letting him down.

I think my other favorite part of the chapter was what you did with Narcissa. She seems almost horrified by what she's witnessing. It's pretty obvious that she's only present because of her husband and sister, that she doesn't want to be there. I never thought of her as the type who could take joy in the suffering of others like Bellatrix and Lucius.

The murder of the muggle woman as "training" was also a nice touch. I'm pretty sure that becoming a Death Eater would necessarily involve committing murder. It's the ultimate renouncement of any chance of ever being able to be "normal" again.

The back-and-forth between Dolohov and Lucius was also really well done. It's always fun to see Lucius get put in his place. Money aside, he never seemed to be cut from the same cloth as cold-blooded killers like Dolohov and Bellatrix. He's mostly just a poseur Death Eater. I'm wondering whether you've ever read a fic with the concept of the "First Five", aka Dolohov, Rookwood, Nott Sr, Goyle Sr and Avery Sr. That would fit really well with your narative here.

Great job with this! I'm really curious to see how Regulus's change of heart plays out in your story!

Author's Response: Hey there!

Oh, I'm really glad you thought this was a good opening chapter. Though I tend to use third person in one-shots, this was my first third person novel, and my first time writing something so dark, so it's been a journey so ffar!

I really enjoyed writing the scene between Dolohov and Lucius, as it was a lot of fun exploring their characters - especially as we do not know a lot about Dolohov or any of the older Death Eater's, really, from the HP books.

Thanks for the review!


 Report Review

Review #10, by patronus_charm Alone

20th December 2013:
Hi swinging by from review tag!

I really adored this flashback as it contained so many what ifs? I almost went crazy from the speculation of it all. Regulusís narration from that age was really perfect and spot on. Every bit of it from his dialogue to description fitted in with him being a young boy. One thing which really showed that was how he idolised Sirius and Uncle Alphard in a way by calling them his favourites which carried on later on with Bellatrix and Voldemort.

The way he wanted to see revenge on Bellatrix perhaps shows that he could have broken away from that side of the family if he wished too, and again, that was shown through his favourite people are. This spilt time frame made him even more tragic because we know what later happens to him and we can see how he could have changed we just canít do anything about it to prevent the change from occurring.

One small bit of CC if you donít mind. When you look at the chapter, especially at the start of each paragraph it seems to be Regulus, like his name is springing out everywhere. So perhaps if you changed that up a bit it would be good.

The small bit of hope and child like ways were shown with his encounter with Kreacher. I really liked that as it was so touching and heart-warming. It really showed the deep bond those two had. It was interesting to see that scene too, because in a way Regulus is still a child with being left at home by his parents who donít tell him where heís going, but then heís so adult like with the way heís a Death Eater and battling away with everything.

I really enjoyed this chapter as we really got to explore a different and more innocent side to Regulus, also all technical things were flawless so really good work!


Author's Response: Hey there again!

Okay, somehow you manage to pick up on things that I really need to work on, and I actually think you make me a better writer! Your CC about the paragraphs starting with 'Regulus' has really helped me, because now I look out for that whenever I write! So thank you!

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, and I hope to see you back again, even though it took me so long to reply to your amazing reviews!


 Report Review

Review #11, by patronus_charm One of Us

15th December 2013:
Hey Courtney, here with your review!

Wow, I really enjoyed this first chapter and it definitely kept my attention throughout. I think the key thing to this was because of Regulusís brilliant characterisation because I could really grasp what emotions he was feeling, what had led him to do this and this made me relate to him in a way I never really anticipated that I would.

One thing about his characterisation which shone throughout the story was his youth. In a way, he was doing this because he needed to conquer his fear and prove something to his father, then when he killed the muggle girl that same theme was carried through with needing to prove things to his relatives culminating in the cruciatus curse. The way you played on his insecurities throughout this was really brilliant because we can all relate being in a situation we just canít deal with and weíre not brave enough to get out and thatís what I felt with Regulus. It really was fantastic.

Despite there are being a whole range of Death Eaters, they each had their own moment and that was really great because it meant we got to identify with them a little more. The ones which stood out to me were Bellatrix and Lucius. Bellatrix was written really wonderfully! I really hope she appears more in this story because you wrote her insanity in such an understated way it really blended well with JKís way. Sometimes people go overboard and I get bored with the whole Bellatrix is insane thing but you didnít!

Then Lucius was perfect in his slimy ways! I wonder how these two will continue to affect Regulus given that they are close relations of him. Then the small mention of Narcissa was really good too because theyíre kindred spirits in a way with both of them stuck in a situation they canít get out of now. Overall, just really excellent characterisation!

The only thing I would suggest changing is the large amount of adverbs used with the dialogue tags. Though they can be useful at times, they grew a little too excessive in this chapter and it slowed the flow of the reading. Like here ĎďEnough with the pleasantries, Dolohov,Ē Bellatrix said impatiently.í We know sheís impatient because she wants it to end but the addition of impatiently just made it a little repetitive. Errors like these are easy ones to fix so itís nothing much to worry about.

That was a really fantastic first chapter and feel free to re-request!


Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you so much for reviewing, I'm so sorry it took me such a long time to get back to you - I feel absolutely terrible!

I'm glad you mentioned all the Death Eaters, because I had so much fun with them, especially because we do not know a lot about them, at least not how they were twenty years ago!

That tip was actually really helpful! I read this review a while ago, and ever since I have been taking your advice on not using so many adverbs, so thank you!


 Report Review

Review #12, by SilentConfession One of Us

13th December 2013:

So, i adore Regulus stories. I've realized reading this that I don't read enough of them! Why did you chose him as your protagonist? I'm really excited to see where this is going though as he's a delightfully interesting character. There are so many ways you could take him and I like how this has all started. I like the fear he has, but even better, I like how he's so desperate to control himself. It shows how young he really is and how horrid it was that someone as young as him had to become part of this. He could have been so much more.

Another thing I liked about his character was that he wanted to be there. He dreamt of being a DE. Sometimes i find that stories with Regulus in them, it always seems like he's getting dragged along with the group. Or, he doesn't really seem to make many decisions for himself. Or everything he does was to be different from Sirius or make his parents like him better than Sirius. I like how this whole thing started out with him wanting this life (at least, a little, even if he's unsure a little about it. Who isn't when they make any sort of decision) I thought you did that very realistically. There is an aspect in it that he doesn't quite fit into the world, but, on the other hand, it seems like he actually wants to clean the world of this prescribed 'filth'. He's already starting to feel dynamic. I'm excited to read more on his motivations and what has brought him here.

The chapter definitely makes me want to read more! You've written the tone so well and crafted the other DE's in such a believable way that makes me itch for more. Honestly, the other DE's are so distinct, there is Malfoy who's dark and powerful, Narcissa who seems afraid, Bellatrix and her usual crazy, and finally Dolohov. Dolohov was excellently well done, creepy, but not so over the top either. Maybe sinister and i loved the detail about his breath. It's stuff like that that makes me want to continue reading a story as the details matter and make a story really full and rich.

I also really appreciated that you didn't give an overload of information here. It is one thing that makes me want to read more simply because there is more to know. It makes a first chapter come alive when you just start off without falling into the temptation to vomit all the backstory out into the first few thousand words. So, lovely job with keeping that in check :).

Honestly, for a first chapter, you've done a great job at hooking readers and writing with a lovely tone. It is very readable to me and I don't think you have much to worry about with this chapter. It introduces your story really well. I'm really curious to see how Regulus goes from this to a betrayer. :) I think, perhaps, the only thing you could watch out for is word choice. I noticed a few times the same words being reused in fairly close succession. This is a small thing and didn't really bother me too much, but it does help with readability if there is a varied vocabulary. (i.e - shiver/shivered, nerve/unnerved, fear, afraid) Generally, some of the repetition was fine and made the story more poignant, but as you continue writing just remember to keep it from being repetitious to the point where it makes the writing boring because the same words are reused. I suppose i'm trying to say here is be intentional with your word choices and use repetition to your advantage and not let it take advantage of you. I hope that makes sense!

Loved this chapter though and I'd definitely want to read more! This is really nice work, thanks for requesting.!

Author's Response: Hey there!

I've always found Regulus' character fascinating as we know very little about him but, like you said, have had trouble finding a story about his life on fanfiction. So I decided to write one for myself!

Though, as we know from the HP books, Regulus begins to have doubts about where he stands, I definitely think a part of him wanted to become a Death Eater, so I'm glad you think I portrayed that well.

Thank you for such a great review, I'm glad you enjoyed this first chapter.


 Report Review

Review #13, by Infinityx Alone

12th December 2013:

Once again, I love your writing. The way that memory was included is fantastic. And those four words on the parchment convey so much! If it had been longer then it doubt it would have created this impact. It clearly shows the affection that Sirius has for his brother and that he's thinking about him on Christmas even though he's happy with his friends.

This chapter was so full of emotion, subtly expressed through every sentence.

The part about the dark mark was really mysterious. It makes me wonder what it meant and I really want to read on to find out.

I love it. You've got yourself a new fan! :D


Author's Response: Hey there!

Thank you so much for such an amazing review! I feel so bad at how slow I am at answering them! I read your review like a month ago, but I've only just gotten around to replying now. I feel so lazy!

I love that you loved the memory! I really wanted to include a snapshot of what Regulus' life was like when he was younger.


 Report Review

Review #14, by LightLeviosa5443 Alone

10th December 2013:
Round 2!

This chapter was also fantastic! I really felt so bad for Regulus the entire time I was reading the chapter. I mean, he's alone on christmas, and all he wanted to do was show his parents the Dark Mark. He just wants approval.

I think it was sweet of Sirius to write Regulus a letter, but at the same time, why just Merry Christmas? That's all you could spare for your brother? Their relationship is interesting, I like how you've portrayed it.

I found no spelling or grammar mistakes, so brilliant job. I really am enjoying this story quite a bit! Thanks again for the request in my thread!

Keep writing this story, it's amazing!

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Hey again!

Thank you so much! Yes, poor Regulus:( He really is completely alone and, like you said, just wants some approval.


 Report Review

Review #15, by LightLeviosa5443 One of Us

10th December 2013:
Hi!! Thanks for the request in my thread!

So, I've honestly never read a story about Regulus, so this is a first for me. And can I just say that I loved it? Your writing style is absolutely brilliant, it was captivating and entrancing and you didn't leave out a single detail. I didn't finish a sentence or a paragraph and wish you had elaborated more. Fantastic job!

I absolutely love your characterization of Regulus, I think it's very well done, and very believable. One of my favourite parts was actually when you were describing talking to Dolohov. I feel like the idea of him having such awful breath is incredibly realistic.

On to Chapter 2!

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Hey! I can't believe it took me so long to reply to this, please accept my most profound apologies!

Oh, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I've never written such a dark story before, but I really wanted to explore Regulus' character, and it's been a great journey so far!

Thank you for the lovely review!


 Report Review

Review #16, by Rumpelstiltskin Alone

10th December 2013:
I am here from review tag :).

The flashback is exceptionally heartwarming. It's so sweet to see a little Regulus shopping with his uncle and Sirius. The exchanges between Sirius and Regulus are very fitting for young siblings. Poor little Reggie, being picked on by Sirius :).

Then the readers are brought back into a bitter-sweet reality just as quickly as Regulus is. I found the technique very effective and I loved it!

I feel very bad for Regulus because he seems like he's alone. I mean, yes, he's recently been initiated into Voldemort's circle of Death Eaters so he has those guys, I suppose, and his parents and Kreacher. I think it was the way he woke, alone and branded on Christmas day, that made everything seem very haunting.

Then of course he also asks Kreacher to join him, and then there's the letter from Sirius. Although he seems to be taking everything decently, I still want to hug him. Poor guy. Then again, nobody ever said that Regulus' story was a happy one, did they?

Anyway, this was lovely!


Author's Response: Hey there! Sorry for the horrible delay in replying to this review!

I'm glad you liked the flashback - I really wanted to explore the possibility that Sirius and Regulus used to have a good relationship.

Regulus is most certainly very alone, especially if he'd taking desperate measures like asking Kreacher to join him!

Thank you so much!


 Report Review

Review #17, by Infinityx One of Us

10th December 2013:
Hi! Erin here!

I must say, I was intrigued as soon as read the very first two lines. Your descriptions are so vivid and I love your writing style.

This is the first story I've come across with Regulus as the main character. I'm really interested to see how things will proceed from here. I think you've done a great job at establishing Regulus' character, and I love the way you brought his father into the picture. It gives a greater insight into what Regulus' childhood was like for him to end up in the position that he's in now. And the way you indicated the sense of morality within him, gave the sense of wholeness to his character.

One small thing that I'd like to point out. As I was reading, I felt like I had come across "nerve" quite often. There's "Regulus tried to control his nerves", "a cold, unnerving feeling surrounded the room", "Malfoy unnerved Regulus". It kind of stood out for me while I was reading the chapter.

Other than that, your chapter gave me the chills. I absolutely love all the descriptions and all the details in them. I definitely feel the urge to keep reading, so update soon! :)

Author's Response: Hey Erin!

Oh, thank you so much! I'm really happy to hear that you like my writing style!

Yeah, I haven't seen Regulus as a main character very much, which is one of the reasons I decided to writ him!

Thank you for pointing that out! I didn't notice that, so I might go through and have a bit of a re-read!

Thanks for the lovely review! I'm so happy you enjoyed it!


 Report Review

Review #18, by 800 words of heaven One of Us

3rd December 2013:

So this is really awkward because it has been THAT long since I visited your page. Even though I haven't finished Missing or caught up with Careful What You Wish For, I decided to start a new story, because there's a soft spot for Regulus in my heart.

I actually adore your characterisation of Regulus. I'm obviously writing him once he's dead, so I have a lot more freedom with his characterisation, so it's really interesting to see him when he was alive and doing naughty things. It's already evident that he hasn't completely bought into Voldemort's cause, although I can imagine this might be the case for a lot of new Death Eaters as they go through the rigorous training process you've described (so scary).

I just also wanted to mention that I'm so impressed by how much your writing has improved since I began reading your work! I think I started with The Kissing Game (or was it Ava?) and your writing was good then, but oh, the places you've gone since! Your clean yet evocative descriptions almost brought tears to my eyes and your dialogue, which has always been fantastic was just... ugh.

I'm looking forward to seeing where this story goes. Since this is your first try at a truly dark story, I'm doubly intrigued! Fantastic job!

Author's Response: Hey there!

There is a super soft spot for Regulus in my heart, too, I don't know why I've never attempted to write him before! But so far, it has been a lot of fun!

Aw, thank you so much! And just saying, I absolutely love your dead Regulus - though ours are quite clearly very different!

I'm glad you think my writing has improved! I remember I used to be pretty terrible with descriptions, so I'm so happy you think that has improved!

Thank you for the lovely review!


 Report Review

Review #19, by theblacksisters Alone

28th November 2013:
Well, even if I don't have anything to say other than 'this is good, update soon', this chapter deserved a review.
this is good; update soon!

Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed this chapter! I'll update as soon as possible! This review seriously made me smile.


 Report Review

Review #20, by Rumpelstiltskin One of Us

22nd November 2013:
And I am also reviewing over here! :p

(I've read this already and thought I would show some courtesy and review.)

I really like that you included some minor details. I sometimes struggle with them so this is a perfect reminder on how much they can contribute to a story.

From what I have seen of him, I really like what you've done with Regulus' characterization. His emotions and thoughts are almost flawlessly creating a very strong connection between character and reader.

I may have fallen in love with this a little bit (and this is only the first chapter).

Anyway, this was awesome!


Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks so much for reviewing, I really appreciate it! (Wow, I sound like such a cheese ball!)

I'm glad you like what I've done with Regulus' characterization! I didn't want to make him too completely 'nice' but I wanted the reader to be able to emphasize with his character, too.

Thank you, I'm really glad you're enjoying it so far!


 Report Review

Review #21, by toomanycurls One of Us

16th November 2013:
Hello!!! I'm doing a review tag. :D

You start this with such dark and beautiful imagry. The ice, dark grounds, and howling wind make an understandably scary scene for the young wizard. Regulus' fear is quite justified. His father's words about fear being weakness struck me as ominous (maybe that's just because I had fear on the brain last month).

I wonder what emotions Orion hid from the world. That small flashback with him made me awfully curious. (Though - it might be helpful to italicize that part so it's clearly not in the current timeline of the story.)

Huh - Regulus might be the only person that called greeting Bellatrix a pleasure. Though, he probably really liked her. I really love that he calls her Bellatrix instead of Bella. It's formal which I think is appropriate for their relationship and the circumstances.

Lucius is so intimidating in this. I've gotten so used to him before Voldemort's return and after his downfall. I forget that he had a powerful place in the death eater world.

Dolohov is also quite impressive here. He just exudes power and authority.

This death eater training sounds more like torture. :-/ Voldemort's side is so well organized in the first war. I couldn't imagine going through that level of scrutiny.

Oh dear. The bit with the woman was haunting and devastating to read. His lingering reaction to killing that girl seems realistic and it shows he's still a bit good at least.

All of that leading up to the extrodinary branding of Regulus Black. This is an amazing start to your novel. There's so much churn and conflict to go through up until he betrays the Dark Lord.


Author's Response: Hey there!

Oh, I'm glad you think so, as I always worry about imagery, wondering if I don't have enough or have gone overboard.

Yep, I can't really see anyone else using the word 'pleasure' anywhere near Bellatrix's name. She doesn't exactly exude pleasantness, does she?

I'm glad you thought this was a good start, the second chapter is coming soon!


 Report Review

Review #22, by Lady Asphodel One of Us

10th November 2013:
Hey Courtney! It's me Alishya from the review thread. :)

So about this chapter here, this was truly a magnificent one! :D It's very interesting to see how Regulus became a death eater, and... I mean... I feel like this would be precisely how it went if JK had written it in the books. So good job with this honestly. n_n

I feel like I want to read more of this as well, and that's really good because I never venture off away from the Hogwarts Characters - ya know, Harry, Ron, Hermione etc.

So, if you ever update, I'll love to read it! ^_^

- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hey there!

Oh, I'm so happy you enjoyed it! This is well away from my comfort zone, but I'm enjoying writing it so far!

I've actually written the second chapter, and should be posting in either today or tommorow - I know, it's taken a ridiculously long time, but I got there eventually!

Thanks for the lovely review!


 Report Review

Review #23, by GingeredTea One of Us

2nd November 2013:
Review tag! I like the way you introduce stories. I decided to read this Regulus story after I liked your other so much and they both had a good entrance.

The pace was wonderful and I really like how you get into Regulus' head - the way you have him describe his world just seems to fit with what we know about him.

At first I thought this would be a story about him renouncing the Dark Lord, but the I realized it picked up essentially where your one-shot left off? Or am I forgetting something? Anyway, I really enjoyed it. If I catch you again on the review thread I will look to see if this has been updated.

Author's Response: Hey there!

This is sort of ish a sequel sort of thing to my Regulus one-shot but not really. Wow, that made absolutely no sense! I had so much fun writing about Regulus, that I decided to explore his story and so Rise came about!

Thanks for the review!


 Report Review

Review #24, by Lululuna One of Us

25th October 2013:
Hi there! :) I'm here for your requested review, and very sorry about the delay!

This is such a great start to a story, and I really like the approach you're taking to Regulus. I only ever seem to see him crop up in fan fiction as the damaged love interest or antagonist to Sirius, and it's really interesting to see what it would have been like as a young man joining the DEs. It's great that you're branching out from your usual genre- you write youthful, entertaining stories so wonderfully, but I'm excited to see how this darker novel turns out.

I really like the little details that characterize Reg- like when he's annoyed that he has to scramble to keep up with Bellatrix, it gives him more humanity and shows how he doesn't really fit well into this world. I loved the descriptions of Dolohov as well, and how his breath smelt horrible - it was a gruesome image but set him up well as an antagonistic character.

I'm also curious to see how his relationships with his cousins will be revealed and develop. Narcissa here seems quite afraid, in comparison to Bellatrix's habitual crazy, and I wonder if she will prove a friend to Reg or feel it best to lie low.

The memory of killing the Muggle woman was horrible: really, really poignant. It made me dislike Regulus, a little, for no matter what fears and doubts he may be harbouring he's still quite weak in my eyes, at least at this point, and he got himself into the situation of becoming a DE. But it also suggests that he might be able to change.

Regulus' self-doubt and inner turmoil was very believable, and the door swinging open as if they knew he was there was so creepy, and very typical of the DEs.

I'm excited to learn more about what exactly motivates him to become a Death Eater, and what kind of trials and horrors he will have to live through. His story is so tragic in that it ends when he's so young and inexperienced, and how he has the potential to be a kind of anti-hero. All we really know about him from canon is how Sirius talked and how he wrote that note to Voldy featured in your summary, so I'm curious to see how he'll find out about the Horcruxes and decide to be brave and take a stand to destroy them.

This is a wonderful beginning, and feel free to re-request! :)

Author's Response: No problemo!

I definitely find writing the more youthful light-hearted stories a lot easier - more of a way to relax. So this is definitely more of a challenge, but I'm already enjoying writing it!

Regulus is definitely a little unlikeable and definitely a slightly weak character. I don't think he'd be Regulus without these qualities but I definitely want to explore the more positive sides of his character!

Thank you for the great review!


 Report Review

Review #25, by marauderfan One of Us

13th October 2013:
Eeep! I like this a lot. I've never read a novel about Regulus before but he's one of the most interesting characters. In particular I love the way you've characterised him, and how he's clearly afraid and having second thoughts, but he's forcing that to the back of his mind in order to accomplish what he thinks he always wanted. I really can't wait to see where you take this - I have a feeling it's going to be really amazing, because there's so much of a story to tell with Regulus. Great start!

Author's Response: Well, hello there!

I'm so glad you liked this! I haven't really written anything (at least not a whole novel) in this genre before, so it's a huge change for me!

Thank you for the lovely review!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>