Reading Reviews for House Unity
1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Leonore Towels

30th September 2013:
So is this your first review? OK, here goes...

Good for a first try, but I would recommend launching into some adventure straight away then backing out to fill in the gaps (if that makes sense). I like the way you've thought through their speech styles. You are perhaps overdoing the POV changes a little - settle fully into each character before you start flicking between them.

And, as a proud Ravenclaw, I would like to politely request that you NEVER use that ghastly nickname ever again!

I'm sure the story will develop more in the next few chapters - I know it's always hard to start off. Especially if this is your first story. I will be back to see what happens.


Author's Response: Thank you so much for the constructive criticism! The point of the nickname is to get a rise out of Al, I agree it's ghastly.
Thank you again for this review, it means a lot to me.

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login