Reading Reviews for Scars
  
14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HermyLuna2 Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

22nd June 2015:
Hi, I'm here for the House cup, for Hufflepuff.

I really like your writing style, it reminds me a bit of Jk Rowling (The good aspects of her style, that is). The appearance of Greyback is delighfully ominous. Though imagining a werewolf in a trenchcoat is rather comical. human werewolves.. better luck next time, Greyback. I almost feel sorry for him here, you know? I'm sure that was what you intended, so that was brilliant. You managed to portray the John-Greyback feud both as realistically and hilariously as possible, I don't think it could have been written any better. Your John is wonderfully eloquent. I pictured him as having a bit more paternal feelings from the start, but on the other hand, perfect born father!John has also become a clichť in fandom so your take on it is more original. His naivity at the end is astounding, and in a way tragic. I like the way this ended.
PLEASE DO NOT ABANDON THIS STORY, OKAY?
I don't often resort to caps lock so... Please don't!

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Review #2, by tangledconstellations Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

20th June 2015:
Reviewing for Ravenclaw, for the House Cup 2015!

There is only one chapter of this? Noo! But this is so exciting! This is such an awesome first chapter!

I am so keen to read more, even though, from way Fenrir hesitated over the photo of Remus, I think things aren't going to go well. This was such a captivating first chapter, I can't emphasise that enough - I already feel involved in your writing style and the character of John...I'm gonna be super annoying and ask, will you ever update this again?

Your descriptions here are awesome because they're not too heavy. You give us enough to imply the setting and the way the characters are feeling, but it's not overwhelming. You write movement and interaction between characters really well, but at the same time you've still managed to set up the world around the characters and imply a backstory already. It's interesting that you've started with Remus as a child, because I think that will help us understand teenage-Remus when we come across him in later chapters. I'm just... eek, you don't know how badly I want to click 'next chapter'! I'm both captivated by your writing and frightened about what's going to come for the Lupin family. This was an awesome start!

Laura xxx

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Review #3, by krazyboutharryginny Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

20th June 2015:
Here for the Amazing Race review battle for the House Cup 2015! GO GO GRYFFINDOR!!

AH TANYA I LOVE THIS! I don't think I've ever seen a story dealing with what John Lupin actually did to offend Greyback. Your writing is always so unique and well done. I absolutely love reading your work!

It's so horrible knowing what this scene leads to. The worst part is that here John didn't really do anything wrong. Sure, he lost his temper a bit, but everything he said to Greyback was completely fair. That makes it even more agonizing that Remus gets bitten over it.

I loved the details of the items that were on John's desk, such as the snow globe and the model of the Hogwarts Express. It really rounded him out as a character.

I really hope that you continue this sometime. Your writing is phenomenal and this story is one that I would be so interested in reading. I know from other stories of yours that I've read that your characterizations of the Marauders are excellent. If you ever continue this, please let me know - I'll eagerly come back and keep reading!

-Kayla

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Review #4, by Infinityx Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Slytherin

Wow. I got chills after this, especially with the last paragraph. I really love how you've set up the whole scene with John trying to help Fenrir even though his colleagues told him not to and it's terrible knowing that Fenrir is going to take revenge for the dismissal even though it wasn't really John's fault. Even though there's not much that really happens in this chapter, there are so many details that set up the whole plot and make a wonderful beginning to this fic. All those bits about Fenrir going to threaten the shopkeeper and then being late for the trial show just how much of an irrational person he is, and can't appreciate even the slightest gesture made in his favour. He's one of the few characters that are part of the dark side - I feel - who can't be made to have a back story that could make us empathise with the way he is now. And you've done a great job at portraying his character here even though there isn't much. It's obvious that he's a dark, cruel person and the ending was just so scary, especially with the casual conversation about Remus. I can imagine John beating himself up over this. :(

Great writing as always! Your descriptions were great and everything flowed really smoothly so great work!

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Review #5, by crestwood Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

20th June 2015:
Looks like I'm camping out here tonight. And I saw your post on my profile and want to respond, but must keep reviewing :P

I've never read a story with Remus' father as a character, I'm interested. The description here!! IS. SO. GOOD. One of my favorite adverbs is 'dangerously' - I just love to see it used to describe the way something moves or sits. I can't explain it in words, but it makes me so happy to see it used.

I'm obsessed with the way you've described Greyback here. It's interesting that he seems to know John at this point. Although it's clear that John doesn't think particularly highly of him at this point. I'm starting to suspect that Remus' biting was a form of revenge, rather than a random act of cruelty.

This is making me so uncomfortable. Greyback staring at a picture of Remus... Talk about foreshadowing. I mean, we all know what happens, but still! Sad and creepy! It's made even worse by how much pride John seems to have in the fact that he has a son. And knowing how he later ends up treating him after he gets bitten. UGH It's too much to handle. Many, many feelings.

This was mind-blowing! One of my favorite things I've read from you. Everything has been so great so far!

Slytherin - House Cup 2015 Review

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Review #6, by pointless_proclamations Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

20th June 2015:
I REMEBER THIS BANNER! From when you posted about making it. Nearly spent an ENTIRE MINUTE just staring.

There is this quality to your first lines I am starting to notice. It produces a certain reaction. This one: oh no. Here we go. Boss Queen Master Dough is going to break me. . . again. . . But HOW?! How this time?

I adore the pile of paper work being described as a semi-circle of looming towers. That was remarkable imagery on your part. I could see it in the mind AND feel the exhaustion that radiated from the words.

This conversation between Fenrir and John is proper tense! I love that you casually created situational context using the conversation AND BUILT ON TENSNESS. Also, what a lovely way to get to know the characters!

It took two words for the heart to just drop. "My son" HOLY NO!!! ARGHH. WHAT. TANYA. WHY.

More heartbreaking with John's fantastically endearing thoughts about raising Remus. More empathy and emotional investment to him!!

What is amazing about this is that so much can go unsaid! TANYA YOU GENIUS. ♥

I am so awed right now! Also, sad. I emotionally invest in your characters and you go on and break those emotions. What is this? Not nice, boss, not nice.

Still, REMARKABLY CLEVER PIECE. THIS IS RADIANT SORT OF WRITING THAT WARRANTS ALL-CAPS.

House cup 2015 - Slytherin

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Review #7, by alicia and anne Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

5th March 2015:
Oh no! I can see this meeting with Fenrir going badly. Good on John for standing up to him. He gave him chance after chance and Fenrir should have realised it, instead of acting rashly on behalf of his friend.

Uh-oh, such a bad feeling about Fenrir looking at that picture of Remus, because we all know what he's about to do to poor Remus! :(

Ahh! I can't wait to see what happens next! This first chapter set it all up nicely and now I'm all tense and filled with a need to carry on! I am favouriting it right now! :D

Keep up being fantastic! You're awesome!!

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Review #8, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

11th January 2015:
Hi Tanya! I am (finally) here to leave your review prizes for Team Friar's win in the Rescue Mission. (Yes, I know, that was FOREVER ago, I'm sorry it has taken me SO long to get to this!)

There is a LOT of dramatic irony in this chapter, and knowing what's coming next really just makes me want to reach out to John and warn him of what's coming.

This was such a captivating first chapter, I was completely sucked in! Without even meaning to, I found myself leaning closer and closer to the computer screen as the chapter progressed, and I was able to envision what was going on in my head so clearly that it felt as though I were watching the whole thing unfold, instead of reading it.

I've never read a piece about Greyback's motives for hurting poor Remus, or how Remus came to be turned by Greyback, so I found this to be very refreshing and original!

This was really a GREAT read, and I hope you update soon!

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Review #9, by marauderfan Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

14th December 2014:
HAPPY REVIEW HOT SEAT DAY! ;)

I think I've actually reviewed everything on your page except this, so I'm gonna do this one now.

Wow, your portrayal of Greyback! Chilling. Ugh, it was such an unnerving thing to read because on the outside he's still keeping up the appearance of being an unafflicted, average guy, fitting in with society, but you can see the turnings of the gears in his mind, see who he's becoming, and I don't like it, haha. This is extra weird to read because it's like reading one rung in the ladder that made Greyback the ruthless killer he was later.

Oh my goodness, the bit where Greyback picks up the picture frame... aghh! It was soo heartwrenching because I knew what Greyback was thinking behind his guise of coolness, and then with John beaming proudly and having no idea what was about to happen ahhh it just killed me. But you've done a really great job of explaining why Remus got bitten in the first place, and established a lot about John's relationship with his son.

This is a really great first chapter, Tanya! :)

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Review #10, by Kritika Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

23rd March 2014:
Please do continue this. I absolutely loved it! It is honestly the best story I have ever read, even if it is just one chapter long now. Your writing style is beautiful. Please, please, please continue :)

Author's Response: Oh wow, this is such a nice review! I'm so happy you feel that way! :-D I'm going to do my best to have a new chapter up sometime soon! You've really made my day with this review and it's reignited my flame for this fic! Thank you for that. I'll do my best to be quick with the update! *hugs*

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Review #11, by patronus_charm Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

7th January 2014:
Hi, here for the 12 days of reviewing and yay for it being Remus/Sirius!

I thought that this was a really interesting opening with concentrating on Remusí dad as opposed to leaping straight into the story because Iíve never seen that done before but it was a new and fun aspect to consider so I really liked that. I really liked your characterisation of him too because he showed lots of Remusí traits such as rationality and wanting to do the best for people, but with slight twists such as extra confidence.

Greyback was another interesting one too because he seemed a lot more rational and human than what I expected. JK always described him as savage and brutal so to see that he wanted to take part in something which wasnít related to killing was really unexpected but I liked that change in him. I guess here it still takes place a while before the present events so it will be interesting to watch his character and see whether he gets more horrifying or not.

The ominous feel to the story was practically everywhere and it was so horrible! I could just sense Greybackís thoughts when picking up that photo and knowing what he wanted to do to poor old Remus, and I really dread to think about what happens next.

A great start to the story!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi hi, Kiana!!! :-D Thank you so much for reviewing this story - it's been in need of a little loving! ^.^

I'm so glad you liked the set-up! I really wanted to give Remus a more firm platform as to how it all began and I'm glad it worked for you! And I love hearing that you see Remus reflected in his father. I've always been of the opinion that Remus' dad played a huge role in Remus' life, so it's great to see you've drawn those connections!

I really wanted to give Greyback in this scene as much control as I thought it would be possible for him to muster up, considering he was really hoping to be put into the trial. I think Greyback once truly hated being a werewolf and wanted out if it were possible, but I think this sparked a moment of change; of Greyback learning to use his condition to take others out worse than ever and actually seemingly enjoying the monster in him. I just imagine he started out a bit softer (though never quite good or decent), and I'm glad it worked for you!

Ah, yay!!! I'm so, so, so thrilled to hear you say that! That sort of ominous, unspoken undercurrent is exactly what I was hoping would take place here! The photo moment was what I really wanted to stand out because I wanted people to see exactly when it clicked in Greyback's head to attack poor Remus and I'm so happy you pointed it out! :-D

Thank you so much again for taking the time to leave this review! It's so wonderful and I'm just thrilled that you enjoyed it! *hugs*


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Review #12, by Secret Santa 2013! Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

26th December 2013:
Hi! Itís your Secret Santa back again. Now, I understand that Iím cheating slightly, considering where I am, itís St. Stevensís day, but hopefully in your Timezone itís still Christmas Day, in which case, Iím not cheating at all!

Now, I must confess that Iím a bit of a Wolfstar virgin, this being the first thing Iíve ever read with them as the main pairing, but Iím most definitely looking forward to the new experience, and Iím pretty sure that youíre a good choice to read as a first, considering how much squealing I managed when I was reading your wonderful one-shots.

Right, opening up with Remusí dad, this is very interesting. And Fenrir, oh god, this is going to be the explanation as to why he attacked Remus, isnít it? And all because he wouldnít let him into a trial when he was six hours late. Because he was robbing a shop. At the start of the paragraph, I almost felt sorry for him, you know, some sense of ĎWell, he does have a good excuse, come on!í because he was defending his friend against unjust treatment. But the shopkeeper was being biased; he was trying to get rid of a pack of thieves! And yeah, he wants in on this trial now when he, as John Lupin has said, already gotten one on his own.

Oh God, no, no, no. Why did Greyback have to knock down that particular photo frame, why couldnít it have been a different one, I donít know, one of a highly-trained Auror, not a five-year old little boy, and oh no, I know where this is going now. Youíre very good at creating tension, I might just slot in. I didnít notice it at first, but itís started to slowly rise faster now, and Iím pretty sure I know what the climax will be. Poor Remus.

And then you just go and twist the knife in further with the last few lines. You leave John standing there, smiling softly at memories of his son who looks exactly like him in miniature form, too wrapped up in the memories to even think that there might be some bit of danger lurking around, while Greyback sweeps off to go and bite Remus. Evil I tell you, evil.

Well, this has been a very exciting first chapter, which makes me want to read more! The back-story made an awful lot of sense, I could envision this being the actual canon version, if you follow me, and so thank you for that too! Another wonderful piece!

Author's Response: Hello again, Santa/Siriusly89! :-D And pfft! Christmas cheer is a beautiful thing no matter the day, I say! ^.^

Are you really, now?! You know, I think that's quite common, which saddens me a bit because they are absolutely my OTP! I adore them together, and I hope that if you stick around for this story, you find that you like them as well! (And aww, thank you! :-D)

hehehe Yep, you guessed right! I'm glad you found it interesting; I really wanted to set up the story with a solid foundation! I'm glad it worked for you! And yep - you got everything exactly right! I'm so glad it came across as easy to follow! I had a few concerns about that when I first posted, so thank you for those comments! What a relief! :-D

Mwahaha! ...Ah, actually I feel bad laughing like that, cause I totally agree. I feel so badly for Remus; his life is such a tragic one, and how deeply I wish it had been someone else's photo in that frame. Ah! Thank you so much! I'm so happy to hear that! I've never really tried creating suspense before, so I wasn't sure if I could pull it off, but YAY! :-D

Ah, I know, I know! :-( Greyback is just the worst, but I LOVE that you pointed out the naivete of John in contrast to Fenrir's plotting because he's too absorbed in his fond memories. I'm just thrilled that that landed with you!

This review made me so happy back when I first got it, and it's somehow managed to make me even more grateful now! And ah! I'm doubly ecstatic that you find it so plausible of a scenario in regards to canon! Wow! Just thank you so much for the beautiful comment and for taking the time to leave it! You're incredible! ^.^


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Review #13, by maraudertimes Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

20th November 2013:
Hey hey hey!
So I decided to review this instead of your other one since this had one (ONE!) review which I deem unacceptable.

This is a very good start to a novel and your plot already seems to be very nicely thought out. The fact that I now know why Fenrir targeted Remus is making me tear up a bit, but no matter!

This was a very intriguing first chapter and when you post more, I have no doubt readers will be tempted to read on... mostly because I was and there's no more chapters...

I think it'll be interesting to see how the Sirius/Remus relationship comes into play, although I'm not too sure about myself reading it since I'm not too partial to slash, but I do want to say that I might give it a try since this chapter was wonderfully written!

Seriously, I found no CCs and the characterization was too much awesome too handle. I think you've captured Greyback insanely well and your OC is amazing. He seems very prouf to be a father and that tugged on my heartstrings when I realized why Fenrir was looking at the photo.

Stellar job, this chapter was very good and a great introduction!
Lo:)

Author's Response: Hey hey hey! Ahaha I deem it unacceptable as well! ;) Thank you for ending the madness! hehehe No, really, though, slash is generally not as popular as a lot of other pairings, so I went in assuming it'd be a bit of a slower fic, but I'm super excited to have a new review on it!!! Yay! *hugs*

I'm so glad you enjoy the opening! I really want to give a pretty full account of all the Mauraders lives, with a special focus on Remus, and I knew right away that I wanted to start as far back as why he was even chosen. It makes me so sad too, but I'm really happy that it feels like a plausible reason!

I'm so slow at updating! Haha Well, this month especially because NaNo is keeping me focused strictly on my other WIP, but come December I plan to shift between them both, so I hope you're right that others will want to read on! And it's incredible to hear that you are intrigued as well! YAY! :-D

Thank you, thank you, thank you! There's nothing more wonderful for a writer to hear than a reader who is usually uninterested in a certain pairing is suddenly wanting to give it a try! That truly makes my day! And the relationship, while something I am deeply looking forward too, is going to be slow to come together, because I want it to be plausible and realistic and to seem as if it truly could have been a part of canon! We'll see if I can pull it off! haha *fingers crossed*

*squee* THANK YOU! I'm always so nervous to write canon characters and this was the first time I attempted Greyback, so I'm always afraid of getting it wrong! And as far as John it was really fun inventing my version of who I thought Remus' father was, and it's doubly amazing to hear that he's pulling at your heartstrings already! Also, I'm SO THRILLED that you pointed out the moment with Fenrir holding the picture cause that was a moment I was hoping would stick, so phew! :-D

This is such a lovely review. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to write it! You're just wonderful! *hugs* ^.^


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Review #14, by toomanycurls Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

23rd September 2013:
Flow-wise, I think you have perfect paragraph lengths. My eyes start to wander around the page if paragraphs are too long - yours are long enough to not be painfully short but not so long I'm tempted to skim and move on.

You mentioned being out of FF for a year - It's probably worth mentioning then that Pottermore did a huge "every fact about Lupin" dealio. His dad's name is Lyall. I thought his name was John for a long time and, well, it's kind of a small thing. ^_^

I did feel quite tense during John's interactions with Fenrir. Partly because I know what's coming and that makes me scared for the family. It does intrigue me that Fenrir wanted to be part of the trial that John is conducting especially given his stance on werewolves later in life. I love how John knows that Fenrir is violent and unstable but stands up to him.

My heart melted a little when he was thinking through his feelings for Remus and fatherhood.

At the end of the chapter, I did feel uneasy about Fenrir's comments about the photo, knowing that he'll bite Remus and that picture gave him his target, but there could be a bit more about him possibly hinting at his intentions. Even a "looks delicious" or something creepy. There could be more alluding. This chapter did leave me wanting to see what happens next.

I really liked this chapter and I really, really like Sirius/Remus fics. Please let me know when you update again!!

Author's Response: Hi toomanycurls! Thank you so much for this review!!! It's exactly what I needed! ^.^

Phew! I can't even tell you how relieved I am to hear that the flow is working out! I was very, very paranoid about posting this and it's so reassuring to be told it's not a giant mess of absolute horror! LOL

OMG! REALLY? That's so funny and awesome! I had NO idea! I sort of fell away from Pottermore a few months after it started running, but I'm gonna have to brush up on my canon facts now that you've mentioned an article about Remus' dad! Lyall! I love it! I'm definitely going to have to update this chapter to match the new information. Thank you so much for sharing it with me! :)

Oh, good! I was hoping that readers would connect Fenrir and John-soon-to-be-Lyall's interactions and how this was meant to be the occurrence that sets off Fenrir's revenge! And I'm glad you liked that John/Lyall tries to be supportive of Fenrir - I love Remus and I think he's such a kind-hearted person and I really like to believe that he gets it from his father, so I wanted John/Lyall to be a good role-model. I'm glad it seemed fitting!

Awww, I love a good heart-melting moment. ^.^ So nice to hear! Thank you!

Great again that the ending stirs up some uneasiness based solely on what we know happens later in Remus' life! I know that I don't want Fenrir to be too obvious about the fact that he's formulating the idea to attack Remus in order to get back at John/Lyall, because I think John/Lyall would pick up on it if it was too much more obvious, but I think I'll try to play around with something sort of in between what I have and what you've suggested! I really appreciate the idea, so thank you for it!

Woot! I love hearing that people want to come back for more! I will absolutely keep you informed on this fic's updates! Thank you so much for the incredibly kind review and for taking the time to write it! ^.^


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