Reading Reviews for Apple Island
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshp stars and apples

11th October 2013:
Hi Nicole! I am here for review tag.

This was amazing. Seriously, I've rarely come across writing as beautiful as this piece of work. Your imagery and description is astounding and I love it. I can visualise every little detail in my head =)

I enjoyed your characterisation of Andromeda, it seemed like how I'd imagine her to be in her old age. I am very curious about this Apple island and the kelpie too. The plot, I must say, is very intriguing and creative and I am itching to find out more.

I think this is a brilliant start to your short story, and I am excited to read the next chapter. What makes it even more interesting is that it is in reverse chronological order!

I love the concept of the apples having 'stars' by the way, and I also liked your explanation of Teddy/Vic leaving for a hike and not coming back, and Andromeda staying in the Lovegood house. It all sounds so natural and plausible.

The emotions in the narrative came through wonderfully as well. I could feel Andromeda's monotony and sadness, and I could sympathise with her. I also liked how you incorporated little "Black family" details into her personality, that was good.

All in all, this was a superb chapter, especially the descriptions, and I am glad I came across it. I am favouriting it as I really like it and would love to keep track of this story.

Great job as always,
10/10
Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

P.S. I would love to know what inspired you for this unique plot!

Author's Response: AD!! ♥ What an absolutely lovely review! Thank you for this; your compliments just make me keyboard smash asdlljkhfcnue,mas,m *hugs*

I'm so glad you enjoyed my new short story - imagery, detail, characterisation and all. I was actually writing this for a challenge (First Chapter Challenge - though as usual, I didn't make the deadline...), and I was originally going to write a Remus/Tonks, possibly in reverse chronology, going back from the Battle of Hogwarts to their happier days but didn't really have much inspiration. Somehow I ended up including Andromeda in the fic, and she'll probably be the main character there, though Remus and Tonks will still feature. I also happened to stumble on the Wikipedia page for 'Avalon', which apparently translates to 'Isle of Apples', which was such a pretty name. And I decided to fit that into my story. And er, not sure how Aequin the kelpie came in, but he did.

Apples having stars in their centres are more facts than anything :) All you have to do is cut the apple into half along its equator and the pips will form a star. I think I included some info on this in my write-up for The Chaser haha...

I'm glad you found the emotions convincing; you've pretty much got them all, everything I wanted to convey about Andromeda's situation: her monotony and dissatisfaction and tiredness.

Thank you so much for your wonderful review, AD! And for favouriting. This really, really means a lot to me. I won't be updating this for a few weeks because unfortunately I've signed up for too many challenges and I'm trying to get those done first before I come back to this story.

Thank you! ♥ ♥

teh


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Review #2, by randomwriter stars and apples

2nd October 2013:
Hello Teh! I'm FINALLY here, and I am SO sorry about how long it has taken me. It is a pity.

I don't know how you get better at this each time, because till I read another story by you, the last one seems absolutely perfect. No, wait. That came out wrong. You last story doesn't seem any less perfect after I read the new one, it's just that you've somehow found some gap in your writing that nobody else has, and you've fixed it, if that makes much sense.

This is fabulous, Teh. I can't think of anything negative to say about, so I'll try my best to give you a review that makes sense and isn't entirely gush-y. Wish me luck!

The storyline you have here is amazing. It would be impossible not to draw a reader in. This, combined with the way you write, is so engaging. It's beautiful. It's art. Nothing short of it.

As usual, your descriptions are out of this world. I wish I had a talent like you, really. But for now, I'm content reading you work :P

I felt like I was lost when I read this... As if my thoughts were really far away, just like Andromeda's. Her life now seems so lonely and dull, and I felt really sad for her. There was this genuine sense of sorrow lingering about. It was so deep. I possibly can't explain it accurately any way, but I'll try.

We often find ourselves in situations which make us feel upset, but you know, it passes. In this case, knowing that there is no way it'll pass, makes it different from normal sadness that can leave you. This is stuck to you; it's deeper and more complex. It's eternal, perpetual sorrow. It's like you can't feel your heart beating anymore, or like you'll never feel the freshness of spring again, because there's nothing left to appreciate anymore. And at that stage, life loses all purpose and I think that is the lowest point we can ever reach. What's the point of living if you can never feel alive again?

That's the best way I could express how I felt for Andromeda. I don't think it'll make much sense to anybody else, but I can't do it in another way. I don't know if I even did justice to the feeling, actually.

The tone of this piece was so melancholic, but at the same time there was this underlying edge of mystery. I liked how it wasn't bitter. It was more reflective, there was this sense of longing that sang through it. I can't help but feel curious, and I really can't wait for the next chapter to come out.I will be watching this one closely :)

I loves the last bit. Andromeda leaving her shoes and wand behind is so symbolic. Its like indicating that she's leaving behind all her cares, worries and burdens and moving ahead, taking risks. She's leaving behind her old life. She's finally living. The way you described her actions was so free-ing. It was beautiful and Andromeda seemed like a little girl again. I feel for her so much. I do hope that at the end of this she finds happiness, in whatever shape and form it may be. I don't trust Aequin yet, but if I was Andromeda, I have a feeling that I would have too and that says a lot, if you get what I'm saying.

I'm sorry, but I can't hold it any longer. I'm gushing, okay? THIS WAS AMAZING. UPDATE SOON. I LOVED it.

^And that is an understatement :P I think you have a beautiful mind. You are a gifted writer and I am as usual left speechless by your writing. When I finished reading this piece, I was in a state of wonder and I literally couldn't say or do anything. I needed to be zapped back into reality. I love how vivid your writing is, it's so visual. I love it.

Update soon. Love you :)
And this story of course :P
Hope you liked the review!

Love
Adi :)

Author's Response: ADI ♥ ♥

First, I'M SO SORRY THIS HAS TAKEN FOREVER TO RESPOND...it's just your review... /cries. Oh my gosh, there's just so many lovely things you said that I'm still reeling. I've been speechless about this review for quite a few days now aslkjdfhalsddxxzs

Thank you SO MUCH for this, and for taking the time to leave such a long review.

I'm so happy that you managed to /get/ Andromeda, and that you picked up on the fact that while it's a little bit sad, this chapter, it's not completely full of grief. There's distance between Andromeda and all the losses she's sustained; she's more jaded and melancholy rather than outright bitter. Time has worn away the edge to her pain; that being said, she can never be truly happy with her long life when it's lived all alone :( Indeed, her choice to take the risk and leave with Aequin is a sort of liberation; it's kind of sealing a deal. I'll be writing this story backwards and I hope I'll be able to reveal Aequin's intentions and motives and his character in general, as I go back in time.

I'm glad you like the vividness of the writing; I'll admit, I'm going to have a bit of fun with this story. :P As for updates, I must say I'm a bit busy at the moment, and I do have some other writing to do, but I'll definitely start planning the next few chapters soon! This'll be a short story with about four or five chapters, and I hope you'll stick around!

Thank you so, so much for this amazing, flattering, humbling review, Adi. It's completely made my whole year, and even now as I'm replying I can't help grinning like a bit of a fool. I would hug you, but this screen is getting in the way. ♥ ♥

teh


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Review #3, by navyfail stars and apples

1st October 2013:
Hey Teh! I'm here from the review exchange. Sorry for putting this off so late.

Oh an Andromeda story! And one where she isn't in her youth but in her older age days.

You have a nice way of introducing to us what happened to Teddy and Victoire and the events after. The scene is quite nice and your descriptions are as lovely as per usual.

The symbolism of the apple is a great touch. I love how right when she sees it, something starts feeling different to her. Like something new and fresh is here.

A horse. Hmm...interesting. And a talking one at that. The kelpie I have to say seems very wise, a good character. Apple Island also sound very interesting. And the mention of Ted is sweet.

I really like the idea of it being reverse chronological. It sounds very unique and intrigues me.

This story has a lot of potential. And I can't wait to see where it goes. I really like the elements you put in Andromeda and how she is still so strong. This story is going in my favorites.

~Sama

Author's Response: Sama! ♡

Thank you so much for this lovely review! No worries about the wait; I don't mind at all :D I'm glad you like the introduction of the story along with the descriptive bits! And yeah, this story starts off with an older Andromeda, though I'll be going back in time, so Andromeda will appear progressively younger as the story goes on. Hopefully it'll work! :P This is a bit of an experiment for me, but I'm quite excited to write it.

And I'm also really glad you liked the apple bit. I'm quite pleased with that part as well. Hmm, the kelpie a good character? Maybe. :P You might be right. :)

And yeah, Andromeda has a bit of spirit in her. She would have, after all she did defy her entire family to run off and marry a Muggle-born!

Waah, thank you so much for favouriting this story! It really does mean a lot to me, and I'm so glad you enjoyed this ♥ Thanks for the wonderful review, Sama!

teh


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Review #4, by cypress stars and apples

1st October 2013:
Hello teh! I owe you two more reviews and I have not forgotten (though I've clearly fallen very behind on this). I've promised myself a bit of a break once I finally get around to yours and the four others I owe, but so far, this hasn't really motivated me as much as I'd hoped. :P

Anyway, about this story. I'd planned to review one of your one-shots, but when I read the description to this story I was instantly intrigued. I absolutely love it! I love the fantasy elements that go beyond what we see in Harry Potter. I love that you incorporated a strange setting, giving us glimpses of it, and a strange character, leaving us wondering about its true nature and how, exactly, it lied to Andromeda.

I'm really hoping to find out what's happened to Teddy, and I'm presuming (though may be totally wrong) that this kelpie creature is some sort of link that will lead her to it. As always, your descriptions were superb. The only change I would recommend is, right around the time she bisects the apple, it slips into what I ultimately realized was a memory. It wasn't totally clear, so I recommend maybe taking a look at that little bit - possibly changing verb tenses or setting it all off with italics or using a transition sentence to mark the break between the present and past. I'm not sure - obviously you should do whatever you're most comfortable with. It was just the only thing that made me stop and have to go back and reread.

Otherwise, my only other comment is that this reminds me a bit of the Dark is Rising series of books, which I read quite a while ago, but are full of unexplained happenings and mysteries that are merely accepted and followed as a matter of course. It really pulled me into the story and I'd be excited to read what you end up doing with this. :)

Cheers, and I will most certainly be back with at least one more review,

cypress, aka Ella.

Author's Response: Hello Ella! ❤

What a lovely surprise review! Gah! I really love all your reviews; thank you so much for taking the time to read my stories and leave such kind and thoughtful comments! I've honestly lost count of how many wonderful reviews you've left me.

I'm glad you chose my new short story to read; it's something that I haven't attempted before, and I'm glad that the summary was intriguing and mysterious enough to pull you into this. And yeah, I do want to explore a bit of mystery with this fic; I was definitely trying to incorporate a bit of a fantasy feel to all of this, possibly diverging a little from canon. There are definitely kelpies in the wizarding world; I believe there's a section about them in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. As for the relationship between Andromeda and Aequin, I will be working my way back through time to reveal more about the story (which is written backwards, and this is the last chapter that you've read).

I'm glad you like the descriptions ^.^ They were probably a little rambly at some point, but I did want to have a sort of distracted feel to the prose, sort of like Andromeda's vague memories and constantly drifting thoughts; there's not a lot that anchors Andromeda to life now that all her family have disappeared.

Thank you so much for your comment on the unclear parts! I was actually a little worried as well, because I do lapse into flashbacks a few times in this chapter, and since I don't italicise them, I think it can be hard to tell when those occur. I'll definitely work on a way to make the transitions a little more obvious, and to clearly delineate past from present moment.

I've never heard of the Dark is Rising books; I haven't been reading a lot lately :P But yeah, there will probably be some unexplained mystery and happenings in this fic ^.^ The main thing about Apple Island I'm trying to get right is that it's a bit of a local legend, a myth of some sort.

Thank you so much for this brilliant review, Ella! It's absolutely made my night! ♡ ♡ And I do hope you'll be back to read the rest when I update this fic (though it won't be too soon...)

teh


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Review #5, by toomanycurls stars and apples

29th September 2013:
I like that you're telling the story of a canon character who is quite undeveloped in the HP stories. She was surrounded by so much sadness and loss in the books. Then you had to add to her loss by taking away Teddy and Victoire - not nice :( I do think it adds a sense of complete isolation for Andromeda which seems to be crucial to the story line. You've set up a really good backdrop by the time Aequin is introduced. It's enough for me to understand her losses over the years, her advanced age (perhaps senility), and that she feels completely alone.

I'm a bit of a sap when it comes to lost ones - so her jump from remembering Apple Island to reminiscing about Ted is perfectly heartbreaking. The idea that she outlived her happiness is also a bit sad for me to think through. My optimistic self always wants to think people have a chance at more happiness even after their loved ones die. (not a criticism of the plot, you're just poking my emotions quite well)

Andromeda's threat to Aequinn is awesome. It really shows her spunk (which I think we saw a lot of in Tonks).

Wait, what do all kelpies want? Great hook here.

The occasional bits from her past fit in really well with her age and stage in life (where the best parts are behind her). I love the details you've added to tell us about the life she had.

While this is a bit long for an intro chapter it's all very interesting and does a great job pulling the reader in. I'm a bit curious about what will happen on Apple Island. It might help to have a little more teased out information about what to expect (just a little).

I hope you post when the next chapter is up. I quite enjoyed reading this.

Author's Response: Hiya! :D Thanks for this wonderful, detailed review! Baha, I know this is a bit of a random Andromeda story. And I probably wasn't the kindest to remove Teddy and Victoire. But, oh well. I'm glad you thought the set-up was good :) It was probably a little overly detailed in some parts, but I really did want to have that distracted, somewhat dreamy feel...possibly a little rambling here and there, just like Andromeda's thoughts.

I'm so sorry (and yet I'm also very glad) that you felt a little sad with Andromeda's state of life. I was indeed trying to create that sense of isolation and loss; the pain and the grief of losing everyone is not so fierce anymore, but it's still there, and Andromeda has been living a somewhat numb, dreary life, and it will be a very long life as well...if nothing happens.

Am glad you like that moment of spunk from her! I didn't think she was the passive, laid-back sort of person who can't defend herself or so; it's quite clear that she was able to go against her entire family and their framework of beliefs and marry Ted Tonks.

Yeah, I know this is /such/ a long first chapter! I was trying to cut things out here and there; I guess I didn't try hard enough. :P I'm working this story backwards (this is the last chapter!), so more will be revealed about Apple Island. The main thing about the place is, it's something of a local legend, a kind of myth.

Thank you so much for your lovely review! I hope you'll be back to read more, though I won't be posting the next chapter so soon as I have quite a number of other things to work through. Thanks again!

-teh


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Review #6, by bellatrixlestrange123 stars and apples

29th September 2013:
I am completely in awe of your writing, it's so heartfelt and detailed and captivating, I just love it!

When you wrote about Teddy and Victorie's death, I couldn't help but feel sad for Andromeda, And considering this is only like three chapters into the whole story, I would say that is a acheivement!

I'll definitely be looking at your other stories, well done! :)

Author's Response: Hello! Aww, thanks for such a lovely review! And thank you so so much for agreeing to do the swap with me ♥

I'm so flattered and humbled that you like my writing. It truly is such a compliment and I can't thank you enough for that. I've not started a WIP for a very, very long time, and I do have high hopes for this short story! ^.^ Yeah, making Teddy and Victoire disappear made me feel pretty bad, too, seeing as they're all Andromeda had. :( But hopefully things will get better as the story progresses? :)

Thank you so much for reading AND favouriting! It really, really means a lot to me! ♥

teh


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Review #7, by Siriusly89 stars and apples

29th September 2013:
Hello! Siriusly89 here with a review on the very curiously named ĎApple Islandí. It is a bit of an odd name, so naturally youíve sparked my curiosity (Iím a nosy person you see!) So, enough rabbiting on, I go review now!

And within the first five paragraphs, youíve killed off three people. Xenophilius, the little pet, didnít hit me quite as hard, because he mustíve been older and getting on a bit, and he more than likely died a natural death, but Teddy and Victoire! They were so young, and they were just on a little hiking trip, and now Andromeda has no one, all her relations are dead and she just sits in that garden knitting and being alone. Argh, I can just tell Iím going to end up crying or exploding at some point during this first chapter (first chapter!?! I fear what you have up your sleeves for the rest of this!)

Okay, sheís sitting at the side of a ditch, and an apple floats up to her. She picks up the apple, and it gets really cold and the ditch magically fills with rushing water, which in turn creates a horse who can talk whoís called Aequin Darkmerre, and he was supposed to take Andromeda somewhere before, and Iím guessing heíll take her there now?

This. Is. Amazing.

Aaah, wait. Itís a kelpie. Heís a bit rude to be honest, Andromedaís an elderly woman, and heís telling her that sheís Ďoutlived her happinessí and reminding her everyone she loves is dead. Okay, I know sheís depressed (who wouldnít be?) but could she not just get some help? Talk to Molly again?

I know whatís sheís going to do though, sheís going to go with the kelpie, and end up dying on the stupid island. I just know it!

I change my mind, I just read the paragraph with the whole thing about Teddyís wedding to Victoire, and I want her to go to Apple Island. I know, two seconds ago I wanted her to stay, but it was him saying that she would still be around, and the thought of her living the lonely, isolated life with no one and nothing to distract her from the memories, no, I donít like the idea of that at all! So go Andromeda!

I love the end where she reminds him that her last name is Tonks, not Black. The kelpie seems a little pureblood-elitist to me, what with not acknowledging Andromedaís proper name, and calling Ted a Mudblood. In case you havenít already noticed, I donít like that kelpie, I donít trust him at all.

He is evil, I just know it.

Well, this was one of the most interesting first chapters Iíve read in a while! As always, your flow and word choice is just phenomenal, I will of course be favouriting and coming back! Thank you so much for this!

Author's Response: Sarahjane! ♥ Gah, what an absolutely wonderful review to receive! Thank you so, so much! *hugs* As I mentioned to you earlier, I actually wrote this for your challenge (but because I'm well, me, I never got it in on time...my fault, completely!!). So thank you for holding that challenge which I dropped out of, because prior to writing this, I was kinda trying to start writing a longer story, and wasn't having much success.

Oops, sorry for the feels! :( I know I'm probably being a bit too mean taking away Teddy and Victoire from Andromeda, as she's pretty much lost everyone. But I don't think this story would have worked if she had some reason to /not/ want to leave her home and her life behind. I'm not sure how sad you'll find this story; I don't quite find it as tragic, seeing as I'm writing backwards (this is the last chapter that you're reading ^.^ ) to reveal more about Andromeda and the strange island and hopefully Remus and Tonks.

Muaha! It's so interesting to see your reactions! LOVE it when you changed your mind about Andromeda and the island and that rather suspicious horse creature. The kelpie, in my mind, isn't so much a pureblood supremacist type; all that human stuff doesn't really affect him, but he probably knows it does irritate Andromeda, seeing as her husband was a Muggle-born. So he's sort of provoking her, being annoying. :P You probably should never trust kelpies! They've got some rather nasty reputations.

Wah, thank you so very much for this wonderful review, Sarahjane! Absolutely made my day ♥ ♥ And I do hope you come back to read the rest (I have a vague idea where this will go, and it will probably be four or five chapters long...).

teh


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Review #8, by BLONDEbehaviour stars and apples

26th September 2013:
Hello! I am here with your requested review :)

Wow. I'm captivated! This is mysterious and beautiful. I am very very intrigued as to where this leads and what this means for Andromeda in the long run. You have done well to pull people into this first chapter. I am definitely pulled in!

In regards to description, I actually do not think it is heavy at all. I think it is truly incredible. You ave written a hard chapter, we do not know much about Andromeda, and we definitely know nothing of Aequin. I believe you have written the description so well, that it gives us a proper image of a story that we are not familiar with, but also enough imagery to emapthise with Andromeda. I am nowhere near her age, not even hitting the 20's yet, and yet I was able to feel her exhaustion and pain. SO no, for me, the description is spot on.

The death of Teddy and Victorie made my heart physically ache. It was truly painful to read, well done on writing it so well. Especially since their bodies were never found, it leaves that gaping hole of uncertainty. I really liked that.

"All those whom you love are gone. You have outlived your happiness." This line is fantastic. It made my heart hurt. That's all I can say on the matter.

Like I said, we do not know much of Andromeda, but the consistency of the character through the chapter, to what we do know of her is consistent and well-written. I know this is a lot of gushing, but its good!

I'm curious, as I do not have any knowledge of a Kelpie, if we learn more of Aequin further in the story? If we don't maybe a bit of an outline of what a Kelpie is could help. Apart from that, there is nothing that I could point out that needs improving. Oh! A few spelling errors (one being where you wrote "of" instead of "off") but those are easily fixed.

I'm sorry if this is more gush than review, but this story seems to have hit my heart, and you have truly written it so well. Please Please re-request when you have the next chapter up!

Please respond to this review, thanks :D

Grace

Author's Response: Hiya Grace,

Wow, what an amazing review!! ♥ Thank you so much, and thank you for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful, detailed review. :D

I'm relieved that you didn't think the descriptive parts were too overwhelming and that instead they helped build a sense of setting and develop on Andromeda's characterisation. And speaking of Andromeda, yeah, she's a character we know little about from the books. She appears only once in Deathly Hallows, but we know she suffered lots because she lost her husband and her daughter and her son-on-law (and of course I have to go and be all evil and make Teddy and Victoire vanish... :P ). And gah! Consistency of character is such a great compliment! Thank you so much!

Aequin will definitely return :) This story actually goes backwards in time, i.e. reverse chronology. What you've just read is the ending, and in order to understand what Andromeda has done and where she's going, I'll be writing backwards and hopefully as the story progresses, things will become a bit clearer. And hopefully the mystery about Aequin will be revealed. Hopefully. Teehee, the plot is only vaguely outlined in my head because I was so bent on writing this first chapter!

As for kelpies, they don't have a great reputation in mythology! Aequin will appear again, but if you know my writing style, I won't usually tell much, so I might be a bit unhelpful with explaining kelpie characteristics and all. That being said, I can definitely add some information in the author's note. Thanks for telling me that!

And thanks for pointing out those errors; I'll have to go through this again and iron things out! Once again, many thanks for your wonderful review! I'll certainly re-request when I get the second chapter up, although it won't be too soon as I have quite a few other things to write and put through the queue.

teh ♥


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Review #9, by marauderfan stars and apples

21st September 2013:
Tehhh ♥

This is for review tag - sorry it took so long to actually write up the review, I live in the middle of nowhere and my internet went out for a while. Anyway, I was so excited to see you had a new story posted!! And what an original idea, I've definitely never read anything like this before.

The beginning was so sad, with Teddy and Victoire :( Poor Andromeda. You really expressed her feelings of loneliness and how much she has lost during her life. I also liked the comparison you drew between her living so long and losing everyone, and others who died young - the way you focused on how old and tired she is, and then on how her daughter died so young, and how Teddy and Victoire were so young and vivacious when they disappeared (I'm going with "disappeared" because part of me still wants them to be alive, somewhere ;) )

Aequin is such an interesting character! I really liked that you included him, and I hope he shows up again because I'd love to find out more about him. I've never read about a kelpie before - and your take on them is really great! Andromeda's conversation with him had a very magical feel to it (probably not very good word choice there as we're talking about the magical world, but I mean like... more magical than usual magical. I'm totally not making sense anymore, am I? :p ) It's just another layer of fantasy that isn't explored much in the HP world, and I liked it!

As always, your descriptions and attention to detail are wonderful. I was totally able to visualise the scene and feel what Andromeda was feeling throughout this.

Also, I had no idea Avalon meant "Isle of Apples". Cool trivia fact. I'll be really interested to see where this story goes! Great job!

Author's Response: Kristinnn!! ♡

No worries about the wait! In fact, I quite forgot about Review Tag and didn't even know someone had tagged me! So this is a lovely surprise! And..yeah, I understand that internet connectivity is somewhat limited in the desert. :D Or whatever biome it is you're in!

Bahah, yes, I know I'm not very nice to Andromeda...taking away the last bits of her family.And I'm glad you got a good sense of her age and long life compared to those of her family.

Ah, the kelpie. I'll have to find a way to build up on his characterisation as the story progresses; so far, he's still a little vague to me (I know, I know, this is terrible planning...). But yeah, I'm glad you like this extra "layer of fantasy" as you put it so well. I suppose I'm sort of exploring the other elements of the wizarding world a little. Fun fact, a couple of days after I put this story in the queue, the news for the new 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them' films were announced. So, yeah! I'm quite excited to be writing this fic, and hopefully I'll be able to sort out the rest of the plot, which I only know vaguely. (I only planned this chapter in detail because I was trying to enter a challenge, which I failed to do so on time as usual...).

Yeah, I love that 'Avalon' translates to Isle of Apples; such a pretty name! When I came across the Wikipedia page for that, I just felt that I had to include this somewhere in my story. And I ended up building the whole story around it...

Thanks for this amazing review and all your lovely compliments, Kristin! ♥ Hopefully, you'll continue to enjoy the story!

teh


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Review #10, by patronus_charm stars and apples

21st September 2013:
teh! Gah, Iím still trying to absorb this first chapter itís just so amazing!

The opening section honestly made me have tears in my eyes! You really built up the theme of death really well, and people living early on with Xeno dying, the young Scamanders selling it, and then Teddy and Victoire visiting. It probably doesnít help that Remus/Tonks is my OTP which only heightened the feels in the chapter but, gah, this story affected me so much and a story hasnít done that to me in a long time!

Andromedaís sadness and grief of Teddy and Victoire never showing up again was horrible, and I think the thing which made it work was the way you described it in a matter of fact way with the fact the funeral had no bodies and it just made me want to tear up so much. The most poignant thing was the way Molly and Andromeda aged so much after that. As Iíve seen that to happen to my own grandparents and understand what happens, I thought it was perfectly written and an almost expected consequence of what happened to Teddy and Victoire.

Your description in this chapter was excellent! I would quote all the parts I liked but that would end up being most of the review, but I think my favourite section was the one describing Andromedaís physical ageing as it painted a really vivid scene for me and showed just why you won that Dobby! ♥

I liked the interaction between Andomeda and the Kelpie a lot, as thatís the thing Iíve enjoyed most about books like Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings but I rarely see it happen. It just felt so magical seeing her talk to another species. The way you tied in the mythological twist of Apple Island and Aequin was perfect and led to me wishing that more writers did that in fan fiction.

ďAll those whom you love are gone. You have outlived your happiness.Ē Ė agsawefew Ė so deep Ė canít comprehend. It tied in perfectly with the loss of Ted, Tonks, Remus and now Teddy and if I canít handle their deaths I dread to think how Andromeda is. I guess without them she isnít living but merely existing so that quote was perfect!

I canít say much about her thoughts about Teddy as it was just leave me blubbering but - ♥ - they were perfect and showed just how strong their love was.

The spell was perfect and had this really ethereal feel to it. Ah, Iím so excited to see what happens at Apple Island now and whether Andromeda will find her inner peace there or not! This was a perfect chapter and I canít wait for the next :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Kiana! ♥

zvvllkkxxx what an amazing review! Aww, thank you so so much for taking the time to read and review this!! It really means heaps to me! :D Remus/Tonks is your OTP? Well, good news. Since this story goes backward in time, there'll definitely be some Remus/Tonks, and I hope I can do your OTP justice.

I know I'm being a little cruel here with Andromeda; I mean, she's lost her daughter, husband and son-in-law...and then there's me making Teddy and Victoire vanish. I felt a bit guilty doing that, actually, but I felt that such an event would push Andromeda to her limits, so much so that she'll make a decision that shouldn't be made lightly. This chapter is actually the ending of the story, and to understand where she'll be going and what will happen to her, I'm going to try and write my way back to the beginning, and hopefully I don't sound like I'm making up a whole lot of tripe. :P

This is a very hasty plunny, but I decided to start writing instead of planning the whole thing in detail.

I'm so glad you thought I depicted Andromeda's sadness realistically; I didn't want there to be too much grief and angst, which is why there is a little bit of a gap between the present and what happened to Teddy and Victoire, and also why I used this matter-of-fact straightforward tone.

And I really enjoy stories which have a bit of a mythology and fantasy and non-human beings in them as well. Precisely why I love the HP series, and other fantasy stuff.

Gah, Kiana, thanks so much once again for this wonderful review!! ♥ ♥ I hope my next chapter will be able to live up to this one. :D

teh


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Review #11, by lia_2390 stars and apples

15th September 2013:
Hello teh,

I got curious when I saw this, and decided to come have a look.

Your description was honestly well written. The narrative itself has a whimsical sort of feeling when I read it, which suits the genre of your story. But there is also some pain which is barely masked by the allure of travelling to this place. I suppose it's the reason why she agreed in the first place. In truth, she is old. I smiled at her nickname too - she really is endless - but that isn't necessarily a good thing.

Andromeda is one of several characters who has experienced a lot of loss. So I can understand why she would leave what little she has behind to go on an adventure. At the same time, I have reasons to doubt this kelpie and his word. I can't tell you why, it's just how I feel.

A bit of critique. Sometimes I find that after painting a vivid picture of an object, place, or character, the obvious is stated immediately afterwards, or later down in the chapter. So in your first paragraph, after you've described Andromeda, it probably wasn't necessary to write that she wasn't young anymore. Ageing happens to be a big theme in this story, and sometimes it's hard for me to picture these characters as growing old(er) and dying. I thought I'd point that out because it happens to me as well.

I'm quite excited that this is reverse chronology. I think you'll do just fine :) You're already off to a good start.

Lia

Author's Response: Hello Lia!

Wow, thanks for such a lovely surprise review! I really wasn't expecting it. Thank you so much for your critique! You're absolutely right; I do tend to overdescribe things sometimes, and the whole 'stating the obvious' thing is a very valid point indeed. I shall definitely go through this chapter once again and tidy things up, streamline the prose a little.

I've actually just edited the whole chapter (I put it back into the queue as soon as it was validated and restructured parts of it, so the prose doesn't clump too much in the beginning); I was in a hurry to put it into the queue so I could finish a challenge (but didn't make it on time anyway :P ).

I'm so glad you described the feel of this piece as 'whimsical'! That's such a lovely way to put things, and yes, that is exactly how I'd like readers to perceive this story. Andromeda fics can have a lot of angst because of the many tragedies she's suffered, and I didn't want the entire fic to be too angsty. I wanted a little mystery to this (and some of the mystery will never get resolved, I'm afraid), a little bit of a myth, a bit of magic and so on.

I'll certainly have to find a way to portray Andromeda's age in a more convincing manner; thank you for pointing this out!

And yeah, best not to trust the kelpie. They don't have particularly outstanding reputations in mythology, anyway. :P

Thank you once again for this insightful review and your valuable feedback, Lia! I'm not sure when this will be updated, but I do hope you stick around! ♥

teh



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