Reading Reviews for Trivial Trickeries
  
23 Reviews Found

Review #1, by anonymous Much Ado About Trickery

30th March 2014:
THIS IS FROM SHAKESPEARE ISNT IT?
OH MY GOD

Author's Response: HAHAHA! Yes :)

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Review #2, by BookDinosaur Much Ado About Quidditch

1st January 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the Sixth of the Twelve Days of Reviewing Challenge over at the forums. :)

I've read this (and not left any reviews, bad me) once through already and I really enjoyed it - I love Much Ado About Nothing, and when I saw that this was a modern retelling I had to give it a read. I'm pretty sure that the story will make sense to anyone who hasn't read Much Ado About Nothing though, everything was quite clear and the basic storyline is a simple one that's easy to follow.

And also, by coincidence I love that quote as well! an he were, I would burn my study. Beatrice is so witty!

The way you portrayed Fred as empty-headed and lovestruck was really funny, but he was so endearing as well, I can't help but like him even if he seems to have fluff for brains. And James seems very entrenched in his bachlor lifestyle and beliefs, so I'm looking forward to see how that's going to change!

And ahaha, that first year was both adorable and irritating! He reminded me of Colin Creevey actually, and the autograph comment just made me shake my head.

Rhe way you set up your characters was really good, I could immediately recognise who was who, and I think the way you modernised their names was really clever - from Beatrice to Triss, and Hero to Hayley was very nice! I think overall the dialogue was really good, especially Triss' cutting comments haha, but there were definitely place where they seemed clunky, like Truly, I am wounded could easily be changed to 'You wound me' which wouldn't sound as out-of-place. ;) Just my thoughts though, feel free to ignore this. :)

I really liked how you used the mulberry tree, it sounds like just the kind of thing the kids woulf make up, and of course you couldn't use marriage, so the way you adapted that was very clever as well, congrats on that.

I really enjoyed reading this chapter, I think you did a great job adapting the play into a next gen story. Great job! :D

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks very much for the review! I'm glad you're enjoying this silly story. :) It was fun to write! I've still got a lot to learn so I'll definitely take your constructive comment on board! Thanks :)

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Review #3, by lea_ Much Ado About Nothing

3rd December 2013:
Confession: I read this like, two days ago but I didn't want to comment because I only get one and that would mean it was officially ooovvveeerrr! (SOB!)

I loved the chapter, of course and thought the ending was harmoniously sappy and cute with a hint of cheesiness perfection. It just made sense and fit in perfectly, and the song writing was the best (I was going to say perfect but I've used that like four times already and I promise, my vocabulary is better than that).

Thank you for the shout-out, it kinda-sorta made my lifffeee (it was, dare I say? Perfect :) ).

Did you make all your own chapter images?
I consider that ability up there with super-heroness, like Iron Man haha. I tried today and got intimidated just trying to figure out how to put two pictures together without losing quality, and stopped lol.

It appears I have reached the end of my review (sob). Again, excellent story - I loved it all! &I hope you decide to post another story!!

Author's Response: Awww you're way too sweet :P Haha I'm SO glad you enjoyed the story! :)

Ha so much cheesiness! I just couldn't help myself I'm sorry! :P

The song writing actually comes from Much Ado! At one point Benedick is trying to write a love note but can't find any good rhymes! :P So I adapted that a bit. Silly James...

I HAD to give you a shout out because you make me lifffeee in return :P

But it's not over Lea! You get to read the real Much Ado now! :D If you wanna start off easy Mango Shakespeare adapted the story into a graphic novel and it's just amazing! And also easier to get into. :)

And yes I made my own chapter images and banner! I love making them. Aww but don't worry I used to be absolutely hopeless at making them! I just practiced a lot because I love making graphics. The Dark Arts website really helped me learn too. As for quality, as long as you get two images that are high quality anyway you should be fine. Unfortunately photoshop can't fix an image that is already bad quality. (I wish!) :)

It appears I have reached the end of my review response (sob!) Are you on the HPFF forums? I'll have to try and find you to befriend/stalk you :P

I'm currently working on another story, but it might be a while until I post that. And I always have a few ideas going around in my head.
Thanks again! *Gives you a gigantic hug*


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Review #4, by RoseWeasley7 Much Ado About Quidditch

2nd December 2013:
Much ado about nothing is my favorite Shakespeare play too! I love Beatrice the David tennant and Catherine Tate version is the best!!!

Author's Response: Yes love it! :D Glad to meet a fellow fan!

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Review #5, by Nia bonita Much Ado About Quidditch

30th November 2013:
Too many Spanish names. IT is nice to have some but Don Pedro and all those surnames.
Seriously, its not Mexico, its damn Scotland.
You write great but names made it repulsive for me to read any further, which is a shame indeed.

Author's Response: Err... Haha. The names are actually taken FROM Much Ado About Nothing! I was trying to keep a nod to that story. Hence Don Pedro. The surname "Messina" (Hayley and Leon's last name) is also referring to where the play is actually set.

Apart from that... All the other names are English. I even made them more modern (Hayley is "Hero" in the play, Leon is "Leonato" etc.) I'm sorry but it seems a little silly to be put off by an exotic name... not everyone is from an English background, even if they live there! Yes, I guess it could be a little confusing, but I put Don Pedro (and Don is a very Americanized name now too) there as a hint to the original story.

But sorry you felt that way :)


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Review #6, by maraudertimes Much Ado About Quidditch

13th November 2013:
Hi!
Okay, so I've never read Much Ado About Nothing, but this makes perfect sense. I understand everything and I totally get the Shakespeare references because honestly, an evil brother? Okay, okay, that may have been your idea... Was it? Because if so, it was awfully cliche... And I love it! Cliches are awesome! (to me at least)

Anyways, this is actually super super cool and amazing and awesome and I'm rambling now, but that's okay.

It's just really cool! Great job! Kudos!

Lo:)

P.S. that quote is amazing!!! And that fact that you changed their names to keep it modern is really cool too! I'm actually thinking of reading Much Ado About Nothing as a bit of light reading!

Author's Response: Hahaha! Oh you should definitely pick up Much Ado About Nothing! It's great! And they actually do a great Manga version of it too - by the Manga Shakespeare company, if you want to start out easy :)

Haha oh yes! The evil brother is a character in Much Ado. I love how with this story I get to be cliche! Because everyone just uses Shakespeare's plots after, everything seems overdone now, yet that does not mean it's not fun :)

Thanks so much for the review! :)


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Review #7, by lea_ Much Ado About Mulberry Trees

9th November 2013:
Oh, this chapter! I love the addition of the mulberry tree tradition, it is absolutely adorable and very collegiate. I know a few universities with couple traditions of their own (like at Ohio State if a couple walks from one end of the oval to the other without anyone crossing their path, they'll be together forever [aww]). So I saw that as something very fitting for Hogwarts as well.

Julia and Jim were awesome, and reminded me of tamer/nicer versions of the fairies from "A Midsummer Night's Dream". Very nice analogy with the prefect/policeman positions of power.

And finnnaallly (woo, haha) I really enjoyed the transition interactions with Triss/James, and how he offered to fight for her honor and she actually didn't punch him. If only love were really this easy, sigh.

But I'm really sad you're down the final chapter (wah). Are you considering any other future works?

Great chapter again!

Author's Response: Hey! Aww thank you for your lovely review. I'm really glad there are people like you enjoying the story. It makes me really happy :)

Aww! I love that tradition you said. That's so sweet! The mulberry tree idea reminds me of what people used to do in Junior school (between the ages of 7 - 11). Kids would meet somewhere and get 'married' and it was totally a huge deal and everything :P

Yey! Glad you liked Julia and Jim. They're so fun to write! Especially Julia.

Haha. I really wanted to show that Triss could do things for herself but I like that James is there to support her now :) Yes, why can't real life be like fiction please!

Final chapter woo! I'm about 10% through writing it and I hope to finish it soon, though I'm not sure when it'll be done! :S Keep an eye out though! I may update how far through it I am on my author page bio :)

In regards to future work, I always have a few stories on the run because I love writing and I just can't ever seem to stop myself! I just never get around to posting them! I'm actually really pleased with myself for posting this one. But yes, at the moment I'm working on a much larger story. An AU Lily/James fic that I'm really excited about. I'm not sure when I will publish it... because I really want to get it all sorted before I do. But please look out for that in the future :)

And thank you again! :D


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Review #8, by AlexFan Much Ado About Mulberry Trees

3rd November 2013:
Jim and Julia are now my favourite characters. They are the absolute definition of authority as you can clearly tell by the fact that they're taking bets. But they're still quite clever because they've managed to figure out what everyone else missed.

And I love how awkward James and Triss are all of a sudden awkward around each other! It's so cute! I'm surprised that they haven't caught on to each other's feelings. By the sounds of it, they're not exactly very subtle about the fact that they like each other a lot.

But anyway, take your time with the last chapter, I'm looking forward to it and I'm sure it'll be brilliant!

Author's Response: Aww you're reviews always make me smile :) Thanks!

Haha oh Jim and Julia are my new favourite to write too. How they got to be Prefects we'll never know... Expect to see more of them in the next chapter ;D

Yes they are so silly, James and Triss. They pretend they hate love, yet when they get a crush they become messes :P

Aww thanks for that. I'm super busy at the moment with uni work so I'm really not sure when the update will be. Maybe I'll be struck with inspiration randomly but since it is the last chapter I want it to do the story justice. Thanks again Alex! :)


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Review #9, by lea_ Much Ado About Trickery

15th October 2013:
Yay - I love how all it takes is the slight chance that there might be a reciprocal of interest and suddenly the blinds are open!

So I tried to take "Much Ado..." out from my school library the other day and someone already had it! I didn't realize it was in such high demand... so I'm convinced who ever had it must be reading your story too, haha.

Also, after much thought I came up with Jason Artist as Fred (a little cliche I suppose but still fitting), Jamie Bell as Leon (so cute and he could totally pull off being Elle Fanning's brother!), and Eddie Redmayne as Don/Jonathan (although Robert Sheehan could pull it off too with a little goatee action).

ALSO (I'm almost done lol), I can't believe James can't remember Triss asking him to Hogsmeade! Boys are so oblivious. I can't wait for the next chapter, and congratulations on 2nd place!!

Author's Response: Hey Lea! Thanks so much for your lovely reviews :)

Awww haha! That's so sweet. I hope you manage to get your hands on Much Ado soon! :D Persevere! Haha it's worth it!

Oo I'm so excited that you're thinking of people to play the characters! And they're so fitting!! :D Hehe I think I will be picturing these actors now while I'm writing :P

Silly James. He IS pretty oblivious. :3

*hugs* Thanks so much for the reviews! I really love reading them. :)


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Review #10, by AlexFan Much Ado About Trickery

14th October 2013:
Woot woot! I got so excited when I saw the new chapter for this. Their friends are quite devious, aren't they. Settin up this whole thing without James and Triss knowing about it. And they really fell for it.

I love James's reaction though, he doesn't even think about it, he just goes, well obviously he's got to return those feelings. He just made it seem like the most natural thing ever.

And you can see the difference between James and Triss. He's insulted that his friends think he would ever make a girl cry and make fun of her and Triss is rolling like her eyes like why wouldn't she make fun of him.

But anyway, I'm looking forward to the next chapter and congratulations on winning second place!

Author's Response: Hey again! Thanks for the review! So glad you enjoyed the chapter, as I wasn't really sure about this one! Though it has been fun to write :)
Tehe James and Triss are silly! Thank you! :)


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Review #11, by Josette_Phoenix Much Ado About Exploding Potions

8th October 2013:
This was a great read, you've merged Much Ado About Nothing very skilfully into the story and the quotes from the play were very cleverly incorporated, bravo!

You have a very sophisticated writing style that is an absolute joy to read, but at times it can get a little cluttered with over-sophisticatedness ... with polishing, your writing would be absolutely delectable!! Your plot flows well and the overall structure is good, I can't wait to see the next chapters!!

This is very original, with superb snippets of colourful and creative description, and I LOVE the mulberry tree tradition, a very clever metaphor and substitute for marriage ;)

Congratulations on 2nd place and thank you for participating in my challenge, it was a pleasure :D

Jo, xo

Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so much! I'm thrilled with second place :)
I'm really glad you enjoyed the story. And thanks so much for the little piece of constructive criticism. I take that very seriously so I'll be trying in the future to smooth my story out a bit, not making it too cluttered. I guess I do have a sophisticated writing style (I've never really considered it before!) because my favourite authors tend to be really old ones. Writing a retelling of a Shakespeare play certainly doesn't help :P Still, I'll try to make sure it doesn't come too much.
Thanks again :D So glad I could participate in this challenge! It's been a lot of fun.


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Review #12, by willow1 Much Ado About Exploding Potions

6th October 2013:
Overall the chapter was very good but there are two things I would change
1: The quaffle quote. In much ado, the point is that it is a toothpick, something small and insignifigent, a quaffle is big enough that it isn't as funny, the other problem with that quote is that in this world he could just apparate.
2: I like how you used an exploding potion to get around the improbability of the masked ball, but in this there is such thing as a ball where you cast a dilusionment charm on yourself.

Author's Response: Hey again! Thanks for the review.
1. Hmm you could be right about this! Thank you. A quaffle is quite insignificant though... and can you apparate easily to different countries? You may be able to - I'm not entirely sure! But I get what you're saying and I'll think on that thanks :)
2. Yeah, that's true! However, I wanted to move away from the ball thing completely, as I thought it might be a bit of a drag. I thought this way would be a little funnier, since I could show how useless poor Fred is :)


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Review #13, by willow1 Much Ado About Quidditch

6th October 2013:
I love the quotes, I'm Shakespeare obsessed though, so watch out I can, and will catch mistakes!

Author's Response: No problem I welcome constructive criticism! :D Thanks!

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Review #14, by M Much Ado About Exploding Potions

2nd October 2013:
Awesome! Keep going!

Author's Response: Thank you! I certainly will :D

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Review #15, by AlexFan Much Ado About Exploding Potions

28th September 2013:
Oh look at me, making your day with a review. JUST KIDDING! I'm not really that arrogant.

It seems that Jonathan's plan to make Fred and Don enemies has failed. Fred should know that they were lying now that he found out that Don set up him up with Hayley. All is good in the world and no drama has occurred yet to kick me in the feels!

It seems that Don is in a very matchmakery mood. First Fred and Hayley and now Triss and James. He seems to be on a roll or something.

I like the Hogwarts spin that you put on the story though, it fit it perfectly.

Again, another awesome job and I look forward to the next chapter!
~Grace

Author's Response: Haha no you have made my day! Thanks :D
You would think Fred would realise Jonathan is the bad guy... But Fred/Claudio is a little bit absentminded :P I'm sure he's already forgotten all about it.
Yes! I think Don has a very manipulative brain (just like his brother) but, unlike Jonathan, he puts that energy into good things, like trying to make his friends happy.
Thank you for your reviews! I hope you continue to enjoy. :)


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Review #16, by AlexFan Much Ado About Quidditch

28th September 2013:
I've never read Much Ado About Nothing but after reading this, I really want to.

The story does make sense to me so far and I'm able to follow along if that's what you're worrying about.

I'm actually very interested to see in where this is going and I'll definitely be coming back to read more and see where this goes.

Anyway, I'm not usually a fan of switching POVS mostly because they're often abrupt but you made it work and I barely even noticed that the point of views changed. I have a feeling that James will be eating his words pretty soon.

And I've also got a feeling that Triss/Beatrice and I would get along very well if she were a real person.

Anyway, awesome start to the story!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for the review! :)
You should definitely read Much Ado - it's such an entertaining read!
I'm glad the story is making sense! I try to make it work for people who haven't read the book too so I'm relieved that's working. :)
Hehe I think I'd be a bit scared of Triss in real life, though think that she's very entertaining from a safe distance. :P
Thanks for reading!


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Review #17, by lea_ Much Ado About Exploding Potions

25th September 2013:
Great job - I'm so glad you went with this scenario versus a masquerade ball, it seems more likely to actually occur. I'm curious as to who you see playing Hayley , Fred, and Don. Although you've said she's blonde her mannerism strikes me as Ariana Grande.
I also thought I'd let you know that "Much Ado..." Is now on my free time reading list! I'm in grad school right now so it won't be happening for a bit... But I'll definitely get there, haha!

Author's Response: Aww that's so nice to hear! Much Ado About Nothing is a fantastic play and I hope you enjoy reading it!
And thanks for the review again! :)
Hmm I imagine Hayley to look like Elle Fanning! Just that sweet blonde look. But now I can see her as Ariana Grande too! :) I'm not sure about Fred... any suggestions? For Don... I don't know, it's weird but I always imagine him to look like Robert Sheehan and I'm not sure why... :P


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Review #18, by marauderfan Much Ado About Quidditch

23rd September 2013:
Hello hello! I'm here from Puff review tag - and man am I glad I found this! I love Much Ado About Nothing and this is a great adaptation of that story into the HP world.

I love the way you've written the characters - and even adapting their names to fit in the story (which, I admit, took me a little while before I realised Triss was Beatrice, Leon was Leonato, etc. haha. Loved how you came up with Hayley's name too, that's perfect). You've made the characters distinct already, and I like your additions - the first year in the beginning reminds me a lot of Colin Creevey! :p

You've also kept true to the plot of Much Ado while still making it very much your own story; the basis on Quidditch works really well. I love the wittiness in James and Triss' points of view, it really fits to their original characters they're based on. And the dialogue sounds like a slightly more modern form of Shakespeare, which works really well in the story.

This was a fun first chapter! Good luck in the challenge!

Author's Response: Aww thanks. Haha I originally left Beatrice's name the same in this story... But it just didn't feel right. I felt that I needed a character that was all my own, even though she WAS an adaption of another character, and I - weirdly - felt much better writing Triss' character when she was renamed as such. As for the others, I felt that some of the names could do with being made more modern, hence Hayley and Leon!

Haha and I guess the first year did have a hint of Colin Creevey :P He was just a very enthusiastic messenger! :)
Thanks for the lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter :)


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Review #19, by Padfoot398 Much Ado About Exploding Potions

23rd September 2013:
I love the chapter images really pretty! Ha this story seems really fun! Love the characters. Can't wait to see what happens next

Author's Response: Aww thanks a lot! I really enjoy making the graphics to go along with this story. :) Thanks glad you're enjoying this!

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Review #20, by Padfoot398 Much Ado About Quidditch

23rd September 2013:
I'm so glad I found this story :) it seems like a lot of fun! I love the characters and their adaptions! Reading on!

Author's Response: Yey! Thanks so much :)

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Review #21, by nott theodore Much Ado About Exploding Potions

23rd September 2013:
Hello again!

You've got a great continuation of the story here, and I really liked this chapter! The way that you opened by reminding us of Fred's new found 'love' for Hayley Messina and James's despair of it helped to get us back into the story (although I hadn't forgotten since you updated so quickly!) and showed how ridiculous the idea of Fred being in love really is. All of the accidents and mishaps that Fred has caused made me laugh, and I could definitely see them happening in a place like Hogwarts. And then James's infuriation was well written - while he likes to blame Fred for it, it's clear to us (and Don) that Triss also has a hand in it.

The idea of a potion exploding and making all the characters temporarily blind is really brilliant! It's such a good twist on the masquerade ball plot and I think it fits much more realistically with the setting of Hogwarts. I loved the way that you incorporated all the different conversations into that scene, with John Pedro plotting to try and make sure that Slytherin would beat Gryffindor at Quidditch, and Triss talking to James and Don talking to Hayley while pretending to be Fred. The sort of chaos and hilarity was really well written and I really enjoyed reading it.

The writing style you've used for this story seems to match it perfectly; you strike the right balance between something that would fit a retelling of Shakespeare and a next generation story. I really liked the way that you continued to work in the quotes and interpret them in your own way for this story too.

The ending made me laugh as well. I can't wait to see what happens in the next part with Don Pedro determined to play matchmaker and set up Triss and James!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for checking out chapter two and leaving a review.
Poor Fred. He really is hopeless. :) It's fun writing such a dim-witted (sorry Fred!) character but he means well I'm sure.
And I'm so glad you're enjoying the story so far. It's a lot of silliness and fun and I'm so enjoying writing it. :)
Thanks again. It's much appreciated! :D


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Review #22, by nott theodore Much Ado About Quidditch

17th September 2013:
Hello! I saw your status over on the forums and had to come and check this story out, because I love Much Ado About Nothing!

I really like this interpretation of the play. I could instantly spot the characters who have been taken from it - Hayley as Hero, Triss as Beatrice, Leon as Leonato... they were all instantly recognisable and I loved the way you set up the scene to follow the beginning of the play as well.

Beatrice is definitely one of my favourite characters and I think you did a great job of writing her as Triss in this chapter. She's such a witty character and I love her lines, so it was brilliant to see that you used some of the quotes reworded from the play and also have invented your own. I think two of my favourites from the quotes you included here were "I see you maintain your usual glow of disdain and scorn" and "I wish my broom was as fast as your tongue". They both fit in really well and didn't seem forced or out of place, which I think would be easy to do using quotes from 400 years ago in a next generation story!

I spotted just one typo in this:
"James pulled a face, trying to work if Triss was indeed attractive" - to work out if Triss...

I really like the use of the mulberry tree as well as a symbol for serious commitment in relationships - obviously it would be ridiculous for characters to consider getting married at this point! So this is a great substitute, and good use of symbolism as well, which is always present in Shakespeare.

I really enjoyed this chapter. Congratulations on your first story and good luck in the challenge!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for checking out my story and leaving a review! Much appreciated! :)
And, also, thanks a lot for pointing out the typo! I am so useless at finding them; I always read what I want to see instead! So I'll correct that!

I'm so glad, as a fellow Much Ado About Nothing lover, that you enjoyed the start of this story! Beatrice is an amazing character so it was so difficult to do her justice! I'm glad you liked Triss though :)

Yes, I didn't really set out to deliberately include the rewording of the quotes from the play... but when I got to certain bits in the story I thought, "That quote would be really good there..." So I'm glad it didn't seem forced!

Haha! As for the mulberry tree, I knew I needed something to symbolise the wedding (as a lot kicks off at Hayley and Claudio's wedding!) but, as you said, an actual wedding would be silly! The tree idea came to me quite quickly and I thought that would be a fun idea. The mulberry part came from Shakespeare's famous mulberry tree! :)

Thanks again for the review! I hope you continue to read and enjoy :)


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Review #23, by lea_ Much Ado About Quidditch

16th September 2013:
So originally I had "Much Ado..." confused with "A Midsummer..." (which is my personal favorite), but then you mentioned Hero/Hayley and I realized I was wrong. That aside, I love your retelling of the story and although I've never read it - I have a good understanding of what's going on.

I love your dialogue and the characters thus far, they're all likable but still human. AND I'm glad it's a short story (I get impatient, haha).

Can't wait for more and good luck in the challenge!!

I know I never read it but this is my guess for a reworded quote perhaps?

" 'I wish my broom was as fast as your tongue.'

'Perhaps then you would have a chance of winning fairly.' "

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for the review! Glad you could understand what was happening though you've never read Much Ado! (And I seriously recommend you do so! :D)

Yeah I'm kind of impatient too so I'm glad that this was a plot to fit a short story :P

Yes! "I wish my broom was as fast as your tongue." was reworded from, "I would my horse had the speed of your tongue" But "Perhaps then you would have a chance of winning fairly." was all Triss :P


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