Reading Reviews for Lily & Severus: The Beginning
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HermyLuna2 Becoming Friends

12th November 2015:
I thought it was good that you kept in mind how Severus was probably permanently on guard because of his home situation. The way Lily greets him is very childlike and realistic, I could really picture the Lily of the books having said that. I'm not sure if Severus thought Lily was a Muggle from the start, but on the other hand I really like this interpretation where he loved her unconditionally from the start. I imagined Lily to be the outdoorsy type too, climbing trees and all. I have thought about magic too, and I don't know if it works as you described and how I described it in my story as well - childrens magic seems to be without any thought put into it, accidentally, seeing as Harry barely knew how it happened. I am going to change this in my story, but since in this story it is a big part of how Severus and Lily connect, it serves a function. Maybe because Severus is a wizard, he knows more about it than Harry did. I really like Lily's transformation from an insecure girl when it comes to magic to an excited, confident one!
I think Severus seeing Petunia as a competition is very true to his character. 'he could have passed for any happy child' was so sad. You described very well how happy Lily makes Severus.

Author's Response: I'm sorry I have taken so long to respond - I have been having a crisis in writing and have turned away from writing for awhile, but I think I'm back :-) Thank you for your detailed comments. I actually write a blog under my author name, which in part, gives the background as to why I wrote each chapter the way I did, if you are interested. I did want Lily to need something from Severus, as he needed her friendship, so that is why I added the detail of him teaching her how to control it. I hope you like the following chapters!

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Review #2, by HermyLuna2 Ch. 2 - Severus 's First Use of Dark Magic

12th November 2015:
Poor Severus, I feel so sorry for him here. I like how you made him use magic for the first time when he's afraid just like Harry did in Philosopher's stone. Your Tobias is just evil, but at the same time, he has something about him that makes you wonder how he became this way. I liked that Severus used fire to rescue his mother. I'm not sure about it being real Fiendfyre - wasn't that an advanced spell? - but Severus is a skilled wizard. I also feel sorry for Eileen here, and I love how you made Severus have empathy for his mother and her many disappointments. That was so sweet. I really like that you made Eileen alter Severus's memory, that was clever of her, and makes sense as a bad experience that makes him crave to learn Occlumency later in life.

Author's Response: In my blog I go into a lot more detail, but I thought Severus was something special - just like Harry, Dumbledore and even Voldemort. Because of how he was written I felt his strength would be in the Dark Arts (Sirius comments once that Snape knew more curses coming in to school than most 7 years) - and if it hadn't been for his love of Lily things would have been much worse for us Muggles :-)I actually didn't see Tobias as evil so much as warped by his addiction and his fear of Eileen's abilities - I go into more detail as to how I saw him end up the way he did in the blog; but his actions were evil, I would agree. Again, I do appreciate you reading my chapters and taking the additional time to write a comment. It means a lot.

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Review #3, by HermyLuna2 Introduction to Severus' Parents

17th October 2015:
I always love to read stories about Severus's childhood - I have read Always by aterriblebeautyisborn, the Snape Chronicles, a touching one on ao3 and I'm writing my own (I think I am going to change the format of mine though from chronological prequal to just loose scenes, or abandon it for now and write another). But yours is the best! I don't know what it is about it that caught me. I like how you created an explanation why Eileen lives the life she lives, and she seems very sympathetic to me. I also like how you share my headcanon that Eileen gave back as good as she got to Tobias - I don't see her as an innocent helpless damsel. It makes a lot of sense this way with the potion. Good job on describing the dreary atmosphere from Spinner's End, too. Really thoughtful!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. If you are interested in how I came up with my ideas I write a blog under my penname on word press. There's a section just for my harry potter fan fiction where each chapter is discussed. You will see how I started writing Eileen one way, but it just wouldn't work. Severus fascinates me as well. I hope I do him justice. I'm almost done w/ the last chapter - I hope you get a chance to read that too. Again, thank you - it's really nice to get positive feedback.

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Review #4, by mrinal Dumbledore Decides

2nd March 2014:
Very well-written chapter. The touch of humour was good. Its amazing how well you have understood the characters. You have made Dumbledore and Slughorn converse and behave exactly like Rowling would have. It was a short chapter though.

Author's Response: Thank you! I am writing this prequel like the chapters are excerpts from a book - instead of actual chapters. That is why they may seem a little short. If you check my author's bio you will see I have a blog. There it give details behind why I write each chapter and you will see the progression of the storyline as I plan to write through all 7 years Lily and Severus are at school. I have a lot of work ahead of me. I appreciate your kind words - it helps keep me writing.

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Review #5, by Sushree Becoming Friends

1st March 2014:
"..those amazing green eyes. No judgement, no anger, no disgust. He could look into those eyes forever." Epic sentence! He looks into those eyes even when he breathed his last.
You have described Severus's feelings so aptly. It is exactly what one would expect from a boy Snape. The right amount of innocence, the right amount of jealousy, the right amount of cautiousness! You rock Storythinker!

Author's Response: Thank you! I really wanted to capture the Severus no one saw. For the most part he wasn't written very sympathetically until we saw his flashbacks in Book 7 of the Harry Potter series; but to do all he did for love, makes me see him sympathetically. He is such a complex and deep character, I hope I do him justice as I continue his story.

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Review #6, by Sushree Ch. 2 - Severus 's First Use of Dark Magic

1st March 2014:
Wow! This just gets better and better!!!

Author's Response: I hope you enjoy where the story takes you. It's a challenge to balance my desire to show why the characters do what they do with a storyline as intriguing as JK Rowling's were. Again, I truly appreciate your support for my writing!

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Review #7, by Sushree Introduction to Severus' Parents

1st March 2014:
This is an amazing start to the story. The language is simple, the writing style looks original. This makes a perfect back-drop story.
Please continue this till the end.

Author's Response: Thank you, I am so glad you like it! I do plan on writing 6-8 chapters per year of school for all 7 years. I may even go through to Lily's death. If you check out my author's bio it has my blog address. I wanted to blog about my fan fiction so people could get a fuller picture of my thought processes of why I chose to write the chapters I did. I hope you find my continuing chapters as enjoyable to read.

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