Reading Reviews for Effortlessly Dead
57 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfan Issues with Trust

30th May 2015:
Hi Emmi! I'm so glad to see another chapter on this story :)

Besides, many pure-bloods scorn Muggleborns because they canít list a magical ancestry as long as their arm. As far as Iím concerned, thatís more condemnable. We at least hate each for something weíve†done, not because of our supposed pedigree.Ē -- wow, for all the angry, short tempered things Menna says, sometimes she's got some profound points as well.

I would have guessed agoraphobia too - though that whole episode was pretty surprising! I can't blame Galen for being so shocked and unsure of how to react but he covered for her well. I love that she goes right back to her short temper and ordering him around haha. But there was a moment of vulnerability there when she thought she could trust Galen and wasn't sure what that meant, and I think that will be important later.

Eeek who was watching? That is such an eerie feeling to have when you sense that someone is nearby. Ah, it's Vance. That was a really interesting interaction between the three of them - and I definitely agree with Menna's assessment of him that he's not trustworthy. Just the fact that he's not on Murdo's side when he's supposedly working for him raises an alarm - he seems like the type of person who would switch sides at a moment's notice if the convenience suits him. Defininitely not the sort of person Menna needs on her side.

Ahahaha though I laughed so hard when Vance was trying to push their buttons and said Galen is attracted to Menna, their reactions were so awkward and she clearly felt way out of her depth. Still, I'm not giving up hope for this ship to sail eventually :p

This was an awesome chapter! I am really enjoying this story and can't wait to find out what will happen next.

Author's Response: I'm so sorry it took me a while to answer this! Real life has been pretty hectic for the last couple of days.

Menna would like for me to inform you that she can say some pretty profound things once in a while. :) Just between you and me, though, those moments are few and far between... ;)

Menna's lived so secluded life I'm surprised that she thought it would be a good idea to go in places where there's a chance to meet many people at the same time. :P Then again, she's known for doing stupid stunts like that. I think it's been pretty much established by now that the short temper and being bossy is (mostly) a facade - after all, she's only sixteen going on seventeen and alone without any support from her family (because of the aforementioned stupid stunts...) As for whether the things you listed will be important... Maybe, maybe not. ;)

I'm so glad you assessed Vance so correctly when you take into account he's only appeared three times! He's exactly as you said he is - an opportunist of the worst kind. Definitely not someone Menna (or anyone else for the matter) should trust. He's amusing, though. :)

I had so much fun writing that scene and I'm glad you enjoyed it as well! I think it was pretty obvious that Menna hadn't even considered that possibility. ;) I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't trying to nudge Menna and Galen in the romantic direction but we'll have to wait and see if that's the direction the story takes them. They're both pretty stubborn...

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

- Emmi

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Review #2, by Freda_and_Georgina Issues with Trust

22nd May 2015:
I'm the first reviewer of this chapter! I'm so proud. So, since I started reading another novel for something (nowhere near as interesting as this) I was wondering if I should just stop reading; reviewing two novels can be quite a bit of work. Thank Merlin I didn't! I love this chapter and all of the parts of it. You basically took all of my favorite things from this story and put it in one chapter; Galen and Meena, heart-touching moments, Vance, mind games, references to the books, love it! Two things; what year was Galen in the fourth book (when Moody was teaching)? And you put emphasize when Vance and Galen were bickering instead of empathize, I think you meant.

As I said before, love it!

Author's Response: I'm really happy too that you reviewed this! :D I'm also glad that you liked this since it took me so long to get this written... Vance, in particular, was fun to write. :) Galen is Ginny's age, so he would have been a third year when Moody was teaching. And yet another typo that Word didn't catch... I thought I was careful this time, but I guess not. Thanks for pointing that out!

As always, thank you for reading and reviewing!

- Emmi

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Review #3, by AdinaPuff Death Comes Calling

19th May 2015:
Hi, I'm here for the May Review Exchange in the Hufflepuff Common Room!

So I've seen this story floating around the archives and actually had it on my To-Read list for the summer :p This review exchange, however, got me a heads start on it!

I love your summary. It's so chilling and mysterious, and I just was dying to know exactly what was going to happen in this story. It's so creepy, to be frank, and i love it. Scary movies are my favorite kinds of movies, and this novel could definitely be a horror movie :D She's trained to kill?! I love her voice, how you make her agile and quick and smart about everything, and yet at the same time she is human, pushing back feelings earlier.

The cat and mouse scene was perfection. So symbolic and metaphoric and just amazing!! That was true writing there, having such a symbol like that woven into the beginning of the story. It just proves how amazing and developed writer you are!

Awe I like Galen. He's a sweetheart, it seems. Although working in a morgue is creepy, he just seems so awesome. He's my favorite character so far. The whole tale about the Shrikes is really interesting. Did they support Voldemort, or lie low and let Voldy have some fun for a while? I can't wait to learn more about their ways and how they get away with what they do.

Really original story here! I can't wait to see where it goes. I just absolutely love the concept, the way its written, the symbols, and the characterization so much! This is going to be an amazing read, I can feel it!

- Leigh xxx

P.S. Could this possibly be re-written to be Original Fiction?! That would be an AMAZING novel that I would SO buy and read!! Or does it work too closely with the HP Universe?

Author's Response: First of all, I'm glad that this made it to your to-read list! And secondly, happy that you like the summary, it took me ages to come up with it (writing summaries is always a difficult task :P)! Right now, it seems like this story is moving away from the horror though it's by no means a happy story. :) I'm also glad that you liked the girl from the beginning! You could say that's her "business attitude", there's another side to her as you're about to discover. ;)

D'aww, thank you! That was a last minute addition, I'm really happy I added it since it's so popular amongst the readers. :)

Galen's family thinks working in a morgue is a bit creepy too. ;) But yes, he's a sweetheart (and unable to say no to certain people...). This will be revealed in the next chapter, but they were never Voldemort's supporters though some people think so. So yes, they laid low for the duration of the war, and a long before it, which is why it's such a surprise they would show themselves now. Next chapter introduces some of the other Shrikes and we learn a bit more about their methods. :)

Thank you for all your compliments, and for reading and reviewing this! I can't wait to hear what you think about the rest of the story! As for this becoming OF... you know, I never really considered that! I don't think it's too tied to the HP universe... Maybe I'll attempt to write the first couple of chapters as if this was original fiction and see what happens! And thank you for thinking this would make a good novel!

- Emmi

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Review #4, by Freda_and_Georgina Uneasy Alliance

4th May 2015:
Wait, is Rosie Gry's sister? Goodness, you almost can't trust anyone in this story. And now the Magpie/Magpie allies know why Meenawent there and that Galen is most likely helping her. But what happened to her father? he didn't die there, the Shirkes think he's gone and the Magpies say he's not, so which is it? or is he just incapacitated? I love meena and Galen together; he's got a strong moral compass and she has major trust issues; it's so hilarious to see them trying to work together. Waiting patiently (read: more impatiently) for chapter 10!


Author's Response: Rosie and Gry are both Muggle-borns, but no, they're not sisters. But you're right, you can't trust anyone. Most people in this story have some kind of a hidden agenda! Aled is not dead, though he is seriously wounded. Menna and Galen are hilarious together; it's as if they are trying to out-insult each other. I can't promise I get the next chapter in the queue during the weekend, but I try my best!

- Emmi

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Review #5, by Freda_and_Georgina Gone

3rd May 2015:
And wow, I love Galen so much right now. Only he would try to make sure everyone gets what they deserve. I really hope this OC/OC is Galen/Meena. He would be the only one who's compassion and justice could soften her trained coldness. And how he reacts when Shelby comes in is so perfect. I really liked the end of this chapter, though the beginning is not to be forgotten. Seeing the Shrikes recoup and Meena and Ifan's reactions to the death is amazing. Again, almost like the Weasleys. But a little too assassin-y to really make it a significant connection, don't you agree? ;)


Author's Response: Galen is such a sweetheart, and very concerned about justice. I think he would have made a great Gryffindor (he's a proud Ravenclaw). Actually, the OC/OC refers to Murdo/Gry, but who knows? Maybe it'll change along the way. Although, Menna and Galen are rather horrified people think they'd make a great couple! Endings and beginnings are the most difficult bits to write in my opinion, so I'm glad that you liked both! They are a bit Weasley-like in their affection for one another, true enough, but yes, them being assassins puts an end to further comparisons! :)

- Emmi

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Review #6, by Freda_and_Georgina Two for Sorrow

3rd May 2015:
Of course you will kill off the best of the Shrikes. But hopefully St. Mungo's can keep him alive long enough to clear Meena of that one death. It would be too much to hope they can make him good as new. Thanks for the author's note at the end; otherwise I would have no idea what they were talking about. I'm having trouble thinking of new and original things because at this point I'm so focused on what's going to happen next that I can't think about what just happened


Author's Response: I wanted Aled to stay safe, but unfortunately the plot decided otherwise. :P Still, he's not dead yet and hopefully he'll stay that way until the whole matter is solved. You're very welcome; I figured the old superstition concerning the number of magpies one sees wouldn't be familiar to everybody so I decided to mention it. And don't worry about not having anything original to say - I'm quite happy with a review that says simply "This is well-written!" or something else along those lines! Glad that you're enjoying the story!

- Emmi

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Review #7, by Freda_and_Georgina Trouble Arising

3rd May 2015:
I'm rather disappointed Meena didn't find what she was looking for. Now we've really got the story running with the Magpie having found the first Shrike. And all the speculation is killing me; we hear a bit here, a bit there, and mere speculation everywhere. Again, all of your characters have their own thing to them making this story so addicting, each one contributing their own side and take. So good.


Author's Response: Trust me, Menna is also disappointed she didn't find what she was looking for. ;) Here's indeed where the story really starts begin up speed and I'm afraid I don't know when it will start slowing down again. I'm also afraid the speculation will continue for a while. :P But it's a good thing you think that all of the characters contribute to the story. There are so many OCs it wouldn't surprise me at all if the readers found some of them unnecessary to the story. Glad to hear that at least with you, that's not the case!

As always, thank you for reviewing!

- Emmi

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Review #8, by Freda_and_Georgina In Motion

2nd May 2015:
Okay, giving the grandmother that cooking thing is brilliant. It makes her seem like Molly Weasley. And now I'm starting to pity the Magpies, what is their enmity with the Shrikes in the first place? Neither of them are good, but they're trying to do what's best for the family (in the worst way). I don't know who to cheer for. I think I'll just stick with Galen, the more I see of the assassins the more I like him. What are the plans so I know what's coming! But that's not how mysteries work I know I know. *sigh* But of all the villains, Vance is the best villain. You always have to have that antagonist you love to hate, and thankfully you gave it to me with Vance (all the other antagonists you make me pity).

As you can see, I love (to hate (just kiddling)) this story. Keep the updates rolling.

Author's Response: Like Molly Weasley? Yeah, I suppose so, though I admit I didn't really make that connection till you mentioned it. I'm sorry to say this, but I'm glad that you're confused about who you should root for. ;) Galen's a good choice, though! Plans will reveal themselves soon enough, so no worries! Vance is so much fun to write about. Feel free to hate him as much as you want to, everyone else does too. ;)

Hopefully I'll be able to post chapter 10 before you get that far! (Fingers crossed...) And thanks for reading!

- Emmi

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Review #9, by Freda_and_Georgina A Chance Encounter

2nd May 2015:
I kind of wanted Galen to talk to Meena so he could help her out, but that wouldn't really be the most logical thing. I am so happy Galen is related to Ernie, that just improves my opinion of him (which was already fairly high). Ahhh, I just want everything to be figured out! But that wouldn't make for a good novel. This was probably my favorite chapter so far (don't ask me why because I don't know), but for some reason I can't think of much to say about it. It was great.


Author's Response: Well, if you asked Menna, she would tell you she doesn't need any help (she's wrong, by the way). ;) Since Galen is pure-blood, I think he's related to the vast majority of the pure-bloods of Great Britain. In my head, Galen and Ernie are first cousins (Galen's mother is Ernie's father's sister), though they aren't particularly close.

I really like this chapter, and I'm glad you do, too!

- Emmi

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Review #10, by Freda_and_Georgina Secret Plans

2nd May 2015:
And the plot thickens... Two errors I noticed before I forget: "the cafť had for offer" I think you mean "had to offer" and then one time you wrote whether instead of weather. Both of these were in the first section, hope that helps.
In other news, this was an amazing chapter. I want answers so horribly, your writing honestly forces the reader to move on to the next chapter. I'm so glad we see Galen again; I really liked him. And that Magpie lullaby will haunt me. I don't like the Shrikes, but I like the Magpies even less. The question is not who I want to win out, but who will win out. As long as Galen doesn't die we're on good terms. ;) (watch him die in the next chapter)


Author's Response: Ugh, those errors. Word is useful for spotting the more glaring errors, but some, like these, always escape me. I've been meaning to fix them for a while now, but I never seem to find the time...

Yes! If you need to keep reading this to get answers, then I've done my job well! This makes me so happy to hear! Glad you like Galen - he and Menna are two of my favourites! And it's okay if you don't like the Shrikes; they aren't exactly the most likeable people in the world, and the Magpies are even worse.

Don't worry, Galen will survive at least until chapter ten. ;) After that... who knows?

Thanks for reading!

- Emmi

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Review #11, by Freda_and_Georgina In the Nest of Shrikes

2nd May 2015:
Alright, now I'm slightly confused; did Meena kill the guy and the Magpie put it out in the open? Or did the Magpie kill him like a Shrike would? But other than that; wow! A lot of mind-stretchers here. The family that can be so loving and cold-blooded at the same time, a whole new antagonist (I hope you'll go into why Shrikes and Magpies hate each other), an amazing OC called Bea by some, Harry as an average Auror, ahh! It was all so interesting! I like reading this but I'm afraid of how it's going to end. But so far, you have a good mixture of love, darkness, mystery and humor.

Another twisting chapter.

Author's Response: Ah, yes, the matter of who killed whom. Don't worry, it'll all be explained later on! The Shrikes are indeed full of contradictions: they care very much about their own, but don't hesitate to kill anyone who crosses their path. I plan on explaining the feud between the Shrikes and the Magpies later on, don't worry. Given that this takes place only two or three years after the Battle of Hogwarts, I found it reasonable that Harry would be just an ordinary Auror at this point; there's no point in making him the head of the departement immediately after the battle. And the name Proudfoot was actually mentioned by Rowling in her books, I simply gave them a first name and a gender since it was left unstated in the books. :)

So glad you're enjoying this so far! I hope you'll keep reading until the end (whatever that may be)!

- Emmi

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Review #12, by Freda_and_Georgina Death Comes Calling

2nd May 2015:
So, this is Georgina. The one who read the companion peice without reading this. Well, now I'm reading this. And goodness is this excellent storytelling! At first I thought Galen would be the guy who was going to die (he still might, in a story like this anything can happen) but I like this better; bringing in a third party to observe and make unbiased judgements. The comparison to the cat and mouse was great (note: I read it with a hunting cat sleeping on my lap).

Overall; excellent and intriguing. Moving on to the next chapter.

Author's Response: So glad you decided to read this as well! This story is my baby and I love it when I get new readers!

Thank you for your compliment! I'm happy that the beginning was enough to confuse you into thinking a character was going to die and then find out they were going to live. I won't tell you if Galen is going to survive or not (quite frankly, these characters have minds of their own so I can never be certain what's going to happen next), but I can say this: somebody is going to die during the course of the story.

And more love for the cat and mouse! That's so great.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

- Emmi

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Review #13, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Uneasy Alliance

20th April 2015:
I am both really glad that I'm caught up, and really sad that there's no more for me to read right now. :(

It is really amazing how big of a turn has taken place just in the past few chapters. I'm really anxious to see what will happen to Aled, and what's going to become of this new alliance between Menna and Galen.

Also, the fact that Galen feels sympathetic towards Menna honestly has me wondering if maybe he's some long lost Shrike cousin or something... Hm... *Raises eyebrow suspiciously*

Either way, this is such an incredible story, dear, and I really can't wait to see where it goes from here! Well done! I'll be eagerly awaiting your update!

Author's Response: I know that feeling... Hopefully I've got something new for you to read in the near future!

Yes, the turn has indeed been big, but I hope I have more surprises in store in the future chapters! Aled's fate is currently unknown but will be revealed... at the end. :P And I forsee there's a lot of bickering in store for Menna and Galen...

Maybe? I really couldn't say... ;)

Aw, thank you! Like I said, hopefully an update is on its way soon...

As always, thank you so much for the review! So sorry it took me a while to respond, I've been really busy these past few days.

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Review #14, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Gone

11th April 2015:
:O And the plot thickens even more! My goodness, dear, you are so skilled at writing drama, and Cliffhangers!! :P

This was another completely intriguing chapter and I'm off to the next now!!

Author's Response: I love cliffhangers, they're so much fun to write... Nothing better than leaving the reader wanting more! ;) And thanks for the compliments, they really made my day!

See you at the next chapter!

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Review #15, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Two for Sorrow

11th April 2015:
*Gasps and shrieks at the same time*

I... I just don't even know what to think or feel about this chapter! So much drama, so many different emotions going on at the same time! And I'm really shocked at Galen's reaction and pity for Menna!

And I'm sorry that this review is so short but I MUST READ MORE NOW!!! I have to find out what happens!!

Author's Response: Is it a good thing or a bad thing that there was so much going on? I hope it's a good thing. :) And Galen's heart is too big for his own good. *shakes head* I have a feeling it's bound to bring him grief sooner or later...

Thanks again for the review! I don't mind if they're short, it's the thought that counts!

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Review #16, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Trouble Arising

4th April 2015:
*Gasps!* I can't believe he found her so quickly! And now I'm worried - what's going to happen to Menna?!?

I really enjoyed Ifan and Aled's brotherly moment there, and I found Gawain and Bea's talk to be very informative, and I was really impressed with just how much they were able to work out on their own.

But the main thing about this chapter is MENNA! Gah! I have to keep reading!

Author's Response: Yes, he found her... although I can tell you he was not expecting to find her so quickly. He was very surprised to find her there.

Ah, Ifan and Aled. They're very close even though it may not look like it at first. I'm happy that you liked that moment because in the next two chapters it's going to get ugly... And Gawain and Bea are no slouches. Both of them have been Aurors for a long time so they've got plenty of practice about thinking like the villain. I wonder though how they'll react when Murdo and co. are added to the equation...

Menna is very pleased to hear that you find her to be the most interesting thing about the whole chapter. ;)

- Emmi

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Review #17, by MrsJaydeMalfoy In Motion

4th April 2015:
YAY! I'm (finally) back to keep reading this!

This was a very intense chapter, as usual. Hearing that the Magpie had a son was a huge shock, but then it was honestly really funny that, with all of that drama, they're still going to have dinner. :P

I kind of got the same gut feeling that Menna had, that this is a mistake - but then again, t be honest, almost any time Menna leaves I keep thinking "don't do it!" Haha! :P

And :O The Magpie at last! And it sounds like he's going after Menna! Oh no! I must keep reading to find out!

Another great, nail-biting chapter, dear!

Author's Response: Hello again!

"We're all going to die if we let our guard down. So don't let your guard down. Shall we now have dinner?" You got to love Rhian's attitude. I'm glad you liked that part!

I remember Harry once complained (I think it was in POA) that he didn't go looking for trouble and that trouble usually came looking for him. Menna is the complete opposite; she actively goes looking for trouble, that silly girl. She could use someone telling her "Don't do it!" every five minutes. ;)

Yes! Murdo the Magpie has been formally identified! And of course he goes after Menna. ;) I love it that you have to keep on reading! It's the best compliment I can get as an author!

- Emmi

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Review #18, by MrsJaydeMalfoy A Chance Encounter

14th March 2015:
Hi there dear! Nope, I haven't forgotten about the rest of your reviews!

The whole time Menna was in that tree, I was holding my breath! I was so scared she was either going to get caught, or fall and get hurt! Great way to build up the suspense!

I have to say, dear, that your description really is incredible. The way you described the crumpled-up letter was so vivid! And *gasps* The whole "death for one and life for another" thing is eerie!

As soon as Menna started contemplating staying for longer, I felt wary - and then the doorknob!! I hope they don't catch her! By the way, I am still really awed at how easily you make it to relate to a villain!

Haha! I thought the comparison of TV to dark magic was hilarious, and very creative - I imagine that's something a lot of wizards would think!

Oh no, Aunt Blance sounds awful! Maybe even worse than Ron's Great Aunt Tessy! :P

I really liked that we get a glimpse of what happened to cause someone to interrupt Menna's mission. And poor Galen! *Gasps* Oh no! What's Menna about to do?!

Whew! Well at least she left him alive, but I've got a feeling Menna's family is going to be all over her about this, again!

Ah ha! Cosmas is definitely hiding something. And now the Shrikes are in even more trouble!

I know Ron thinks he's rambling, but I'm starting to wonder if he's on to something... maybe I'm being paranoid but, I'm wondering if Cosmas DID know about this beforehand... could he and Ifan somehow be in cahoots, since Ifan's the one who sent Menna there? Hm... very suspenseful!

This was another fabulous chapter dear, and I can't wait to read the next!

Author's Response: Hello again!

I love the fact that you found that scene suspenseful when I never really considered it to be that way when I was writing it! Funny how these things turn out. :)

Aw, thanks! I enjoyed writing that moment so I'm glad you liked it! Also glad that you liked the "death and life" thing! It took me a while to figure out how to word the message in the letter so it's good that it turned out the way I intended it!

Oh, yes, she is practically inviting trouble with that decision... And thanks!

No doubt many wizards (particularly those who have very little contact with Muggles) regard the television with the deepest mistrust - unless it's Arthur Weasley, of course! I'm glad you liked this little insight into how Galen views the world.

She's awful - the very epitome of a cranky old woman who thinks everything was better back in her day. Thankfully she's not scheduled to appear again anytime soon...

I had every intention of returning to that scene, this time from Galen's POV, but it's great that it wasn't obvious from the start! Poor Galen, indeed... He still hasn't forgiven me for that. :)

You can count on it! Mistakes aren't really tolerated in that household...

All I will say that the Shrikes are definitely in trouble! As for Cosmas... who knows? ;)

Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. ;) There's something fishy going on and even those involved are confused. Who is keeping what from whom? It will all be revealed in due time!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

- Emmi

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Review #19, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Secret Plans

22nd February 2015:
Hey there dear! I know this is so terribly late, but I am (finally) here with your reward reviews for Team Friar's victory in the Rescue Mission. (Yes, I know that was forever ago, I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to get to this!)

And now - on to your review!

Right, so first off, I'm really glad and excited to be coming back to this story, as I thoroughly enjoyed the first two chapters! And this one did NOT disappoint! And by the way, I'm reviewing as I read, so if this review seems a bit chaotic, I'm sorry!

The first part of the chapter was very pleasant and actually kind of cute.. and then, with the 'Magpie' statement, it was like a Dun dun DUN!! moment. (If that makes sense. haha) It definitely brought my mind back to what's been going on in earlier chapters.

Even though I really feel like I shouldn't be sympathizing with Menna, you kind of can't help it... she made a mistake, and now she's miserable and stuck in the nest. And it seems like not only is she taking it hard, but everyone else is giving her a hard time about the mistake, too.

I was really interested in the 'she hasn't really focused on using her powers much' bit of information, and I'm curious to see where that leads later on!

Ooh, I have to agree that going by herself is a BAD idea.. and of course she knows how to sneak out of the house! It wouldn't be very Menna-like for her not to! :P

Awww, I was kind of glad for Menna when her Grandfather arrived, but I felt really bad for her when he mentioned the incident, too. And what is he not telling them? And Uh oh. If Ifan only knew what he had just done.. he wouldn't have done it.

Hm... I am really curious about Galen's 'bad feeling' about the body. But I have a feeling something will happen soon enough that will answer my questions.

And Wow.. so now we're seeing the Fawley family's side of things, too. You know, something I noticed in this chapter was the complexity of the plot (and I mean that in a GOOD way). Many stories deal with only a few characters, only a few plot lines/details, etc. You however, have so many different characters and families, each with their own motives and story to tell, and somehow you manage to keep them all clearly organized and separated and defined... it truly is amazing. You tell not just the story of the shrikes, but of the entire community. It's really brilliant!

This was another intriguing, fascinating chapter, and I can't wait to read the next! Well done!

Author's Response: Hey!

Don't worry about this being late; in all honesty, I had completely forgotten about it...

I'm really happy you enjoyed this chapter! It's funny how you found the first scene pleasant and cute when the characters are most definitely not pleasant and cute! I'm also glad that there were details that reminded you of what happened in the first two chapters! There's so much going on that sometimes I worry the readers are going to get all confused... Glad that that wasn't the case, though!

Menna has turned out to be surprisingly likable. That's good; I would be seriously worried if people disliked one of the main characters in the story! Rhian's "not-punishment" is so severe that I really don't want to know what her idea of a punishment is...

I imagine it leads to trouble. ;) Menna is very skilled about causing trouble wherever she goes.

If it's a bad idea, she's going to do it. That's very Menna-like, too. :D She's such a child still... in more ways than one! And yes, she's very good at sneaking out of the house. Ifan and Aled should both know this because they, too, used to sneak out when they thought no one was watching... And yet they leave her completely unsupervised. *tsk, tsk*

It seems like everyone is inclined to mention the incident at least once. It wouldn't be a very effective "not-punishment" if they didn't. And everyone in the family has some kind of a secret. This is not going to end well... And if Ifan had known what he just did, he would have done it anyway. Because he's that sort of a person.

Hmm, I wonder... It should be brought up soon enough!

Thank you! Truthfully, I would find it very difficult to write this story with only a few characters. I find much more natural to include several characters and several different perspectives to tell the story from (and to thoroughly confuse the reader...). I'm not exactly sure how I do it, though. It's an instict, I guess. I'm so glad you like it, though! I'm particularly pleased that you find the characters and the families distinct from each other!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this! I'm looking forward to hearing from you again!

- Emmi

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Review #20, by marauderfan Uneasy Alliance

8th February 2015:
Emmi! I'm sorry in advance this will be a short review as I don't have much time but I just wanted to let you know I loved this chapter! I am curious how Murdo intends to go forward with his plan, and I don't think it can be good. Also, I am soo eager to see how Galen and Menna work together because they are so opposite and already off to a rocky start and just I don't know how it's going to work! haha. I did enjoy reading their arguing. :D Awesome chapter! ♥

Author's Response: I'm so glad you loved this! I was worried it might be too heavy on the dialogue, particularly the second part. I was also worried if Menna and Galen's arguing was too tedious but I'm glad that wasn't the case! I, too, wonder how they're going to work together from now on... They don't know that themselves! As for Murdo... well, that guy always has something in his sleeve, so we'll have to see how what's going to happen next. :)

Thank you so much for reviewing!

- Emmi

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Review #21, by BellaLestrange87 A Chance Encounter

24th January 2015:
I'm finally back (and in the middle of exam period, so I'm procrastinating on studying, of course)!

I wonder if Menna doesn't like large crowds for a reason or if she, being a member of the small Shrike family, merely isn't used to them. And I'm also wondering if there's a reason she thinks that all healers are goody two-shoes.

Ah the vase from last chapter (at least I think it was last chapter)!

I think that something is going to hit the fan once Menna gets back to the Nest with that piece of paper. Which I'm looking forward to, to be honest.

Little kids have really weird imaginations. I guess Galen knows that firsthand now. I can certainly sympathize with him wanting to escape everything.

Why do I feel like Cosmas is lying to Galen about this thing he thought he had brought with him?

I love how calm Robards is here. You can definitely tell he's a veteran Auror that's seen a lot during his service and wouldn't be fazed by an angry woman.

What is Cosmas trying to hide here? That and this lie that I suspected earlier, as well as his reluctance to go through his stuff in front of the Aurors makes me think that he's up to something fishy.

I love how the first (well, probably not the first, but one of the first few) things Ron thinks about is how Hermione's going to be mad at him for working too much.

I only found 1 typo:

Menna grouched behind a waist-high hedge growing a few foot away from the manor and gazed at the building thoughtfully. Menna crouched

It's 11:30 at night right now so this review probably isn't the best but I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter!


Author's Response: Hey Olivia!

I don't know if I should be pleased or worried that you're reading and reviewing this story instead of studying... ^_^; Whichever the case is, welcome back! I'm happy to see you again!

It's interesting that you noticed that little detail! I plan to address that in more detail in the future, so I won't say anything about that for now, but rest assured, it will come up in chapter ten or thereabouts. Good eyes, though! Regarding her attitude towards healers, that's just Menna being her usual "loveable" self. :)

Yup, that's the vase from chapter three! Methinks Galen wouldn't have complained at all if she had broken it. ;)

Oh, yes, thinks are about to get ugly. Glad that you're looking forward to it and I can't wait to hear your opinions!

I imagine Galen is already dreading the day Annabel and Geoffrey have children. Not that he doesn't like kids, he just doesn't look forward to answering the odd questions they might come up with. :)

He might, he might not. ;) I'm not saying anything since that's classified... for now!

Nothing prepares you for angry women whose wedding was just ruined than fighting Voldemort and Death Eaters. ;) I'm pretty sure that he'd choose the Death Eaters over an angry Annabel, though... I would!

What indeed... He's hiding something, that much I'm willing to say!

I imagine him pulling long hours is a common topic in Ron and Hermione's household. Ron does feel a little guilty that he has to be so much away from home but Hermione knows what his job is like and understands although she doesn't always like it.

As always, thanks for pointing out the typo for me, and for reading and reviewing this!

- Emmi

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Review #22, by teh tarik Death Comes Calling

15th January 2015:
Hello! I'm here for the Hufflepuff Hot Seat Review. :) I've heard so much about this story, so I'm really excited to finally be reading this!

So, OK, this is such an amazing chapter! Even though it's the first one, I love how you plunge straight into the action and establish that sense of mystery right from the onset. The first section was so chilling to read from the assassin's perspective. And And I like how all that action and the murder that is about to take place is foreshadowed in the cat playing with its food.

Your characters are an interesting bunch. I enjoyed reading the little tidbits of info you dropped in about Galen, about his homelife and background and such. I'm keen to find out more about him. I also love that your characters work in the morgue! I have a fascination with reading morgue scenes in fic, and yours was so detailed and so chilling. I love this idea about a group of magical assassins called the Shrikes. There's so much mystery about them an their methods and history and I honestly can't wait to find out more.

This is a fantastic start; great work, and I can't wait to read on. :)


Author's Response: Hey teh! I'm glad you decided to check this story out!

Thanks for your compliments! That seemed like the perfect way to start this story and I'm glad you liked it!

I'm also glad you like the characters! OCs are always a risky business because there's no telling whether or not the readers will like them. Hopefully you'll still like Galen after you find out more about him. :p It seems like making him work in the morgue was the right decision although I'm a little surprised you found it so detailed because I didn't purposefully make it that way. Still, I'm glad to hear that!

The Shrikes are the reason I started writing this story so it makes me so happy you're intrigued by them! I hope the rest of the story will be your satisfaction!

Thanks again for reviewing!

- Emmi

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Review #23, by marauderfan Gone

14th January 2015:
Hi Emmi! Happy Hot Seat Day!

I was so glad to come back to this story! Except now I've reached the end of the posted chapters and aaah! I want more of this story, it's so good!

That first scene was so intense and emotional and it was just so difficult to read as I could sympathise with basically all of them. Which means you've done an amazing job of building up your characters so far. Nia's back story is so sad! But I'm so glad you included it and I love the idea that if she hadn't been in a clan of assassins, she could have been a really successful healer. It's really interesting as she's one on the 'bad' side (murdering, etc) who has all these powers of good, and I love that contrast.

And the memories Ifan thinks of while he's worried about whether he should have saved Menna or Aled. Seriously - what a choice to be faced with, and I can't imagine how furious he must be with himself, when really he would have hated it no matter which way it turned out.

Joseph Swift, what an obnoxious person! He struck me as sort of like Gilderoy Lockhart only competent and good at what he does. Which is in a way even more annoying :p but ugh. Poor Galen having to deal with him!

Um, was it just me or is there some sort of chemistry between Galen and Menna? I kind of ship them. Is that okay? :P Maybe I'm crazy but I SEE IT, I SWEAR. *climbs into sinking, leaky canoe and raises Galenna flag*


Favourited the story so now I can pounce as soon as there's a new chapter :P

Great chapter, Emmi! This story just gets better and better. :)

Author's Response: Yes, this is the end... for now! Chapter nine is in the works and if nothing dramatic happens, it should be in the queue by the end of the month! I keep repeating this so I will actually finish it in time...

That first part was surprisingly hard to write even though I knew what I wanted to include in that section. Writing strong emotions is never easy. I'm so glad you liked Nia's backstory! I was debating with myself whether or not I should include it because I was worried the readers might find it unnecessary. I like that contradiction between her skills and the family she was born into myself and it makes me so happy you like it as well!

Poor Ifan. I'm being really hard on him, aren't I? The things I make the characters go through... You're quite right, he would have hated the situation no matter the outcome.

So based on the reviews so far, Joseph is a cross between Gilderoy Lockhart and Cormac McLaggen. That's... pretty bad. :D But funny, I have to admit. He's a fun character to write about but thankfully he won't appear that often.

Yes, it's more than okay to ship Menna and Galen (although the two of them are pretty horrified by the whole idea ;)).

And who knows where they went... Stay tuned for the next epi... I mean, chapter!

Thank you for the review and for favouriting this! Hopefully I see you soon!

- Emmi

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Review #24, by CambAngst In the Nest of Shrikes

4th January 2015:
Hello, again! I read this chapter last night, but it was late and I didn't feel like I could put anything particularly coherent together. Better to sleep on it, I think.

Another thing I really like about the way you're writing this story is the way you pace it. You're not afraid to introduce a scene and some characters and leave the reader wondering how they fit in for a little while. I think it's a really effective way to keep your readers engaged. When I started reading the first section, it took me a while to figure out that Menna was the assassin from chapter 1. By the time I had Ifan and Menna's roles cemented in my head, I was thoroughly into their characters.

I really love the family dynamic you've created here. It's so relatable and realistic. It would have been very easy to write this family as a sinister, fanatical bunch of caricatures. Instead, you gave them individual personalities and complicated relationships. It adds real depth to your story and keeps it from being cartoonish.

I like Menna a lot and I feel like we'll see a lot of her in this story. At least at this early juncture, she feels like someone who's been required to grow up way too fast and it's left some marks on her. She's tough, but also vulnerable in a way. In that regard, she reminds me somewhat of Harry. I'm curious to find out whether the two of them end up interacting with one another and, if so, how that plays out.

Ifan seems more complex. It feels like he's proud of Menna and what she's become, but he also feels a certain amount of competition with her for Rhian's approval.

The scene with the Aurors added a lot of context and new information to the mystery. I liked the way you've set up Harry so far. He seems a little war-weary and aged beyond his years, but not disproportionately so. There's still some playfulness to him, like when he's trying to coax the owl to give up the artifact.

I'm 99% sure this is the first time I've seen the character Proudfoot written as a woman and I like it. She'll be a very useful character, I predict. Characters who aren't afraid to call things as they see them and challenge the authority structure are always great to have in a story. They can get you out of some difficult situations.

I like the way you've set up Robards and his relationship to the rest of the Auror Department. I've never been a big fan of stories where he's written as the second coming of Scrimgeour, a pure office politician who sees Harry as a challenge to his authority and therefore thwarts Harry at every turn. Your Robards is a lot more believable.

The questions are starting to pile up a bit. Do we have a secret animagus in the mix? Did the Aurors learn what happened some other way? I'm very curious to see.

I like Aled, even though he's an odd fit for a family of assassins. Or perhaps because he's an odd fit. He has his principles, but he's also practical, like when he agrees to keep the possible Magpie interference from Menna.

I saw a few possible typos as I was reading, but I'm not sure about all of them. I'll point them out, just in case:

She trailed of and looked helplessly at her father who slipped a comforting arm around her shoulders. -- trailed off

Despite himself, Ifan felt a bang of guilt. -- pang of guilt

Unlike most of his family, Aled despised violence and killed only as a last result; -- last resort

Aside from those, your writing was really lovely. In fact, from now on, if I don't comment, just assume that your writing was awesome. ;)

Excellent second chapter!

Author's Response: Hello Dan!

Aw, thanks! I have to admit though that I'm pacing this story in a way that makes the most sense to me - it may not make sense to other people as well. So far no one has complained about the pacing so I suppose it works. :)

From the beginning, it was my intention to create a family of assassins who are at least a little bit likeable. I don't think I'd be able to write them as caricatures even if I tried, I've spent that much time creating their personalities and quirks. I'm also glad that you like Menna! You're quite right, she's one of the main characters so she's going to appear quite often. You're also right about her having had to grow up too fast. I have plans for her and Harry to meet at some point, although I suspect neither will be too happy about it...

Ifan is indeed proud of Menna - as he should be since he was the one who trained her. I've never really thought about him seeing her as his competition, though; that's an interesting interpretation, and quite a plausible one too!

I'm glad you liked Harry. That was my first time writing him and I wondered if I stayed true to his character. I can't remember how I first decided Proudfoot was a woman but it's possible I had a female Auror in need of a name and as I was searching for one, I came up with Auror Proudfoot whose gender was never openly stated and that was it. She's really growing to me as a character and already she's made herself more important than I originally intended (she seems to think she's Robards's right hand woman or something like that).

I never even considered writing Robards like that! In my head he's always been the kind of leader who is inexplicitly trusted by those under him and who is willing to listen to any theory, no matter who came up with it. He is also a bit of an oddity, as you'll see in chapter six...

It's a good thing you're asking questions. I would be very concerned indeed if you weren't. Everything will be answered in time, but in the meantime, keep asking those questions!

Aled is such a sweetheart. I think the Shrikes need him to balance out all those murderous tendencies.

Thanks for pointing out the typos and for reviewing! Hopefully I'll see you again at chapter three!

- Emmi

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Review #25, by writeyourheartout Gone

4th January 2015:
*waves* Back for more!

Actually, I should confess, I read this last night, but was too tired to write out a review simultaneously or even take notes, so I'm working a bit on memory for this particular review now, so please forgive me if it's slightly less detailed than usual!

The first section was so freaking intense, Emmi! I mean, omg... the tension in that room with the family was just crazy ridiculous. And I sort of felt torn while reading, because I understood everyone's perspective on the events that had just happened - Menna's anger towards Ifan, Ifan's guilt about Aled and - for once - silence during the majority of that scene, and Rhian's anger and blame towards Menna, plus everyone who was just trying to be comforting. A lot happening at once and it made for an excellent read.

One thing I love in particular about you and your writing style is that you so clearly understand who every one of your characters is - even the more minor ones who don't spend much time in the spotlight. For example, the glimpse into Nia's past... ugh, that was so sad. But, again, it shows how three-dimensional you characters are - how each of them has a story of their own within the Shrike clan, and it makes me all the more inclined to root for them - for all of them.

What a twist when Menna disappeared! Honestly, I feel like I should have expected it by this point, seeing as she's always doing irrational things to make up for a mistake, but I truly didn't see it coming. I thought that after her break down and after being scolded by the one and only Rhian, that she was down for the count for the rest of that day, at least! But nope! She disappears right underneath their noses, yet again. hahaha She's the best, but I also kind of want to slap some sense into her. :-p

And then off to Galen! I love his POV so much. He's got this humor about him that I didn't really pick up on as much before, but that really shined through in this chapter - both when he was talking to Joseph and when he was being threatened by Menna.

BY THE WAY: If I thought Vance was annoying, this Joseph character just blew him out of the water. Holy cow, did he need to be slapped. Poor, patient Galen, stuck being - mostly - nice to him. I don't think most people could handle that level of stupid quite so well. :-p

AND THEN THE MENNA AND GALEN SCENE! Is this the scene that started off the entire Effortlessly Dead universe? I have a sneaking suspicion it might be... Either way, I just loved it. I'm not sure I can even quite articulate what I want to say... Just that I love the way Galen reacts to her hostility - not so much with fear, but something closer to amusement. They definitely have an undeniable chemistry.

My favorite moment was right at the very end when he grabs her and they apparate away! Gah! Why did you have to end it there?! You horrible, mean, cliff-hanging person, you! hahaha I hope chapter nine will be out soon, because I am dying to know what happens next between them! Hopefully chapter nine includes one of their perspectives too, or else I might have to wait even longer to find out! Eep!

This was excellent. As always. Can't wait to read more! ♥


Author's Response: Hello Tanya!

Can I have your memory? I don't think I could have managed this amount of detail based solely on memory!

I'm so, so happy you liked the first section! I was a little worried there would be too much going on and the reader would be confused about who this person is and what they're talking about. I'm glad that this was not the case!

There is so much information about each of the characters that I think only a fraction will actually end up being mentioned in the actual story! I enjoy creating characters (so much so that at some point I have to stop and focus on writing the story! :p) and giving them their defining quirks. So glad that this shows in the writing and you like the characters! I was a bit worried that Nia's back story would seem redundant and unnecessary, but gladly it had the intended effect!

Yay! I managed to catch you by surprise! That makes me so happy! I kind of expected her disappearance would be predictable, given how she's always doing her own thing, but this was a pleasant surprise! She does need someone slapping some sense into her, though, and I've got just the right person for the job in mind. ;) Whether he's successful or not remains to be seen...

Galen's humorous side came as a bit of a surprise to me as well, I have to admit (just like Ifan's disinterest in magic). Then again, we've only seen interact with his colleagues in chapters one and seven; the rest of the time he's been with his family with whom he has a slightly strained relationship. It seems like he can be himself when surrounded by the people he works with.

Oh, Joseph. I wouldn't tolerate him a second in real life (and I don't think Vance would either!), but he's so, so much fun to write about! Thankfully we won't be seeing much of him. ;)

Yes! That is the very scene that started everything and I'm so glad you liked it!

I ended it at that scene because cliffhangers are the best way to end a chapter! ;) Hopefully I'll have chapter nine out by the end of January (preferably earlier...) and don't worry, Menna and Galen will appear in it, so you'll find out what happens to them next. I wonder if I manage to catch again you by surprise. We'll have wait and see!

- Emmi

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