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4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lululuna I'm sorry, Mother

17th October 2013:
Hi! :) Thank you for entering my challenge and giving me this amazing entry!

I'm really glad you got Barty and I think you really got through the theme of the challenge, which was adding an unexpected voice to a canon character and giving them more depth. You really accomplished that here, choosing the last scene of Barty's life, and packing all this emotion and evil into it.

I'm in love with the first line: "you can't even hide the truth from yourself." It's a brilliant manipulation of Veritaserum, and sets the tone for Barty's voice and thoughts right away.

You've also handled Barty's madness really well: how he hates McGonagall for pitying him, how he puts on a mad show for her, his wild fear when he sense the Dementor. Something interesting here is Barty's disconnected sense of self which seems to float about him: he is no longer the Auror Moody which he has posed as for the past year; he is no longer a son, having murdered his father and traded places with his nearly forgotten mother. His identity seems to slip through his fingers, something not quite tangible that is lost to him, as you so eloquently put when he is face to face with the Dementor.

This: "Claws of naked horror stab into his heart, icy talons" is amazing description, beautiful and terrifying writing. I can't imagine what it would be like to meet Dementor, but you capture it in a very poetic and gruesome way here.

The repetition of the idea of freedom and how it changes throughout the peace is very interesting: how he is free to be himself and not Moody again, how he is free to choose his own name and be honoured by Voldy, then finally his last-minute regret at the price his freedom bought and a fleeting realization that perhaps he is not free from his own guilt. The image of his mother being the last thing he saw redeems him a little, or at least makes him pitiable.

This was a really great little snapshot, and you captured the character while giving him more interest and depth really perfectly. Thank you for this! :)

Author's Response: Hi there
Thank you thank you for the challenge, it was great fun writing this :D And thank you for this lovely lovely review!! I've been feeling a little like a ghost on HPFF lately and this made my day and made me feel like I exist on this site again hehe.
Cheerio! Xo

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Review #2, by theblacksisters I'm sorry, Mother

29th September 2013:
Very creepy. I enjoyed it.

Author's Response: It was creepy writing it. And I enjoyed it too :P Thanks heaps. Xo

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Review #3, by teh tarik I'm sorry, Mother

12th September 2013:
Hello there, Jo!

I said I'd come by and read some of your writing and here I am. I feel a little bad choosing your shortest story (eep), but I'm a little pressed for time, and your author's page just looks so interesting!

Well, look what you've done with dear old Barty Crouch Jr. This is a terrific story, and in just over a thousand words, you've captured the essence of his character so accurately and so terrifyingly; there is a very frenzied and fanatic energy to your depiction of Barty, and I can't help thinking of that creepy movie portrayal of him where he's licking his lips and all. It's quite chilling really, especially his perspective of McGonagall; there were a number of details that really convinced me of the depths of his hatred and obsession with the Dark Lord. His desire to "wipe" Minerva's face blank from any of her pity is an incredibly horrifying detail, and it just added a whole new level of madness and evil to his character. There were some lovely contrasts in the narrative, especially the image of his mother - the softness of the memory against the awful rotten presence of the Dementors. In that last moment, I would guess that Barty perhaps feels remorse...that perhaps his mother's sacrifice was wasted in the end because of the path he chose. As awful and foul as Barty is, in the fic, I couldn't help feeling sorry for him; his eagerness to leave the room is heavy with irony, because we all know that he won't really leave, not in the books, no - the Dementor will get him. You wrote Barty's moment of realisation and sheer terror so realistically, so great work on that.

You made a small mistake in the following sentence: ...not that fowl Auror's....I believe it should be 'foul' and not 'fowl'. :P

Anyway, this is an absolutely fantastic oneshot, and a very convincing and disturbing portrayal of a minor character; well done! I really enjoyed reading this! ♥


PS: I saw your reference to me in your blog post :P You have nothing to fear from me. Me of all people. :P For all the challenges that I've done during my time in HPFF so far, well, I've only won a grand total of one time. And that was using a pre-written story. So fear not; you're a brilliant writer!

Author's Response: Holy moly, thanks for your kind words!! :3 And THANK YOU for picking up that 'fowl', I never would've spotted it lol.

Cheers for stopping by and good luck in the challenge!!!

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Review #4, by SiriusAura92 I'm sorry, Mother

7th September 2013:
I really enjoyed this.
I think you captured Barty Jr's character very well with the way he thinks of both his Master AND his mother.

I know it's mentioned that McGonagall tried to stop the Dementor or at least object loudly to it but I guess it makes sense that Barty wasn't in the position to notice much else.

Great job and defo keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!! :D

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