255 Reviews Found

Review #1, by lindslo2012 Breakout: Rose POV

28th October 2014:
Hey Beth,

I am back for more!!! :)

So, I am glad that Rose is 'back'. It is so cool how the two of them were just really good friends and then suddenly they realized, holy crap, they really like and might even love each other.
Sometimes I forget about what happened to Scorpius, of course he isn't very happy, his parents died!

The two of them are so perfect for each other. I like also how you don't always make it all about them though, too. Like how you mention Albus and his girlfriend, and then James and his, and also how you mention what else is going on with the family and not always just talking about the two of them. If I'm writing a love story I am pretty bad at just talking about the two people it revolves around. But I am trying to get better at talking about others.

Well dang, the death eaters are back... and they are after... Rose?
I didn't see this coming! What a twist! They were all just having a good time and all of a sudden they barge in. Well darn, I bet Rose feels this is why she doesn't go out, lol.

Great job!

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Review #2, by Paddlewaddle Bedlam: Scorpius and Rose POV

27th October 2014:
I feel a little embarrassed to be thanked - I should be thanking you for giving us such a wonderful story. Exam period is soon so the distraction is very welcome and I'm sorry for reviewing so late!

So Rose actually floo-ed to Harry's house. I totally did not think of that either considering how close she and Harry are as well - Rose must feel a it betrayed and hurt that things are being kept from her and Harry is in such a difficult position trying to treat this case as any other while sticking to protocol. I feel for the boys, I really do because they are torn between duty/loyalty to their job and keeping Rose safe, and their families. I'm saddened to see Albus and Selenia's relationship brought to a grinding halt and I hope there are no lasting repercussions for them cause they are the cutest couple here even though we only hear from them in a third person view. And a new prophecy? double bombshell oh my gawd D:

I can't wait to see the next chapter! :)

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Review #3, by diversrock Bedlam: Scorpius and Rose POV

26th October 2014:
Looking forward to the rest! Loving it so far...

Author's Response: Thanks!

It was awesome to log in and see this review! The next chapter is going into the queue this week! Let me know what you think!

♥ Beth

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Review #4, by BellaLestrange87 Besotted: Rose POV

25th October 2014:
Beth, this isn't so much a review as an analysis of this chapter. Be warned.

This Stannous guy sounds like a monster that would be right at home alongside Bellatrix Lestrange and Voldemort himself. It's not like the normal Cruciatus Curse is bad enough, he has to use the updated version. Just imagine the fun Bellatrix would've had with that. I'm also wondering what he wanted with Rose. Either Stannous hurt her like that to get back at her parents for something or she made a very determined enemy during her time at Hogwarts or shortly after she left it. I could be wrong, but he sounds like he's older, around Harry and Ron's age.

It saddens me to see Rose letting those scars rule her life. I think that if Stannous wanted to kill her, he would've, but he didn't. It sounds lik he was trying to send a message, or deliver one right to her. Rose doesn't mention if she did anything to make anyone mad at her, so it probably wasn't revenge for something she did. Also, if Stannous was trying to let her die from the effects of the curse, he wouldn't have left those healing herbs and potions in the room when he was done.

I think the Hermione in Rose is coming out here as well. Rose doesn't mention what Bellatrix did to Hermione in Malfoy Manor, so I'm going to guess she doesn't know, but it sounds eerily similar, and I think they both pulled through. Admittedly, we didn't find out if Bellatrix left any marks from her curses on Hermione (we know about the word "Mudblood" that she carved into Hermione's arm, but that's it). Also, having to clean up after parties hosted by James and all his friends/relatives sounds a lot like Hermione pushing Harry and Ron to do their homework and basically making sure they passed.

Rose shouldn't be blaming herself for forgetting about the anniversary of the death of Scorpius's parents. As she herself points out, she had a lot of other things on her mind from the guy (Stannous? Although she probably would've recognised him) who tried to kidnap her the night before to her scars. I wonder if that's how Scorpius deals with his parents' deaths: drinking to excess or if it's just remains from the party from last night. Either way, he should definitely not have so much next time. Anyways, he's definitely channelling a lot of residual hatred against his dad. What did Draco possibly do to make Scorpius that mad at him, five years after he died?

I'd say that the way Rose realized she actually like Scorpius is cute, but it's not. Admittedly, I think that Albus shouldn't have been as mad as he was, since Rose and Scorpius weren't dating at that time (although, since Rose has admitted she likes Scorpius and Scorpius basically just admitted he likes Rose, they're probably going to at some point in this novel).


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Review #5, by BellaLestrange87 Bereft: Scorpius POV

25th October 2014:
Review tag!

I was going to review this chapter anyway since I felt kind of guilty after not reviewing Chapter 3, so I was really excited to see you'd been the last to post in the Review Tag thread.

I find it really hard to believe that Draco and Astoria were killed from a kitchen accident, and the way you wrote it makes it seem like Scorpius doesn't believe it either. Personally, I think they were murdered, maybe or maybe not by the same person that tried to grab Rose in Chapter 2, who may or may not be the same person who caused her PTSD.

You wrote Scorpius's reaction to his parents death really well. The fact that he's blaming himself for something that wasn't his fault and punishing himself for having his last words to him parents being argumentative are entirely realistic. He sounds dulled and shocked, and since he's just lost both of his parents (rather suddenly too) he no doubt would be.

I like how Rose and Albus are the first ones outside the Greengrass family to visit Scorpius after the "accident" (because I still don't believe it was one). If they were as close to him as the first and second chapters imply, then they would be. From the previous chapter, we know Scorpius likes Rose, and we know that Rose likes Scorpius, although she might not want to admit it. If Rose been feeling really bad for Scorpius then she would rush him like that and let everything pour out.

Since I've lost a few people I've been close to (thankfully only a few), I know how it feels to try and hold yourself together and go through daily life. Then someone caring (Rose) comes along and breaks the wall you (Scorpius) have built by showing concern. This is amazingly written.

It definitely does look like something is going on between Rose and Scorpius, or at least that's how an overprotective father would see it. At least they're wearing clothes. (Or half-wearing, in Rose's case.)

That line, about the toilet, sounds like something that Harry or Ron would say. *laughs* I also can't think of any CC to come up with.


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Review #6, by UnluckyStar57 Bombarda Maxima: Scorpius POV

21st October 2014:
Holy... wow. More loaded chapter-ness!

Good gosh, this is review 250 for this story. I'd better make this a good one!

So... There was so much aggression, so much anger from Al and Scorpius, and through their awful rage, I could really see how their own pasts were impacting the feelings of guilt that they were having about Rose and Stannous. Scorpius has had a pretty messed up life, and Albus has a few daddy issues to worry about. They love Rose, but they were too wrapped up in themselves to really question the damage that Stannous did to her in the past. This chapter is the unveiling, the revelation of that particular mystery, and now that their eyes are opened, they feel terrible. I loved how united they were in those moments, vowing to protect Rose and seek out Stannous and his gang in order to exact revenge for Rose's suffering.

Ugh, the encounter with Stannous had a bigger impact on Rose than you let on in the previous chapter! Convulsions, vomiting, blacking out, et cetera--that's something that sounds truly terrible to experience, and even though she didn't feel any pain after she blacked out, it must have been scary. I don't blame Dom for telling Scorpius and Al to back off! After all, they have no idea what to do to help Rose. Destroying the Forest of Dean is pretty much their only way to release their frustrations!

Over all, this was a really awesome chapter. There were so many raw emotions there, especially with Al and Scorpius in the forest. One thing that I would recommend to you is that you maybe put a little more description into Rose's whole convulsion/fainting scene. It feels a little bit sparse compared to the massive picture that you paint during the boys' scene. Playing up the drama is never a bad thing (usually)! Also, just be sure to check your verb tenses and spelling whenever you edit. There was nothing major, but as always, it's nice to go back and catch the little things that you miss when first posting a chapter. :)

Brilliant work! I will continue reviewing this story whenever I find the time and/or get a chance to catch you in the Review Battle! :D


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Review #7, by UnluckyStar57 Besieged: Rose POV

21st October 2014:
Oh my... Loaded chapter alert! D:

I'm finally coming back to give you two more reviews--that 250 mark is looming closer for this story! :D And I'm so glad that I helped you catch that chapter mix-up last night--it was just a bit confusing for me when I read it the first time. :P

Okay, so things are starting to happen to Rose, and I'm really starting to see the reason for her various neuroses throughout the first few chapters. Stannous was obviously a creep and a pedophile of some sort, and that is NOT okay. Of course, he was probably more than just a pedophile--I can picture him having the goal of world domination in mind--but for some reason, he zeroed in on Rose as a target for his sadistic fantasies. Like, ew. That is some twisted stuff, but it adds so much intrigue to the storyline! How did you come up with this sinister baddie, and how do you write him torturing Rose with a clear conscience?! (Just kidding--every good story needs an antagonist. Yours just happens to be SUPER creepy.) :)

Well, at least Rose and Scorpius's relationship is going swimmingly. :) I'm so glad that they finally admitted their long-lasting feelings for each other and that they're able to establish some sort of closeness, despite all of the emotional/mental baggage that they both have. The description of Rose's happiness at seeing Scorpius is really cute, and I'm so glad that they get to have a few moments of fun and lurve before Stannous steps in to complicate matters...

However, I found myself wanting more Rose/Scorpius interaction after the last chapter. Because of Scorpius's arranged meeting with Rose, I expected to see that arranged meeting and the exact situation that came from it. By starting this chapter several days later, I feel like I missed a little bit of the story. But that's just kind of a personal preference for me, I think. I mean, I get the idea that they would've been like, "I lurve you so much," but I kind of wanted to see it happen. Ah well, what you've written is enough--romance sort of has to take a backseat to action, anyway.

A few notes on semantics:

Parts of this chapter are in present tense, which doesn't seem to make sense within the context of the past tense narration that encompasses the majority of the story. Perhaps that's something to look over when you get a chance to edit. :)

Also, a few of the spells were not spelled (lol, a pun) correctly, and that's not a huge deal, but I thought I should point it out. (I'm a big fan of spelling, sorry.) Maybe check out the Lexicon when you edit, just to make sure you get the spelling right.

Other than that, I have no complaints about this chapter. It really furthered the action along, and it made me want to read more! (Which is what I will be doing as soon as I finish typing this review.) I can't wait to see what will be done about the whole Stannous situation, especially if he's been stalking Rose like a total weirdo.


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Review #8, by UnluckyStar57 Better: Rose POV

20th October 2014:
Hi Beth! I noticed that ASLTW is only 3 reviews away from 250, so I'm pretty set on giving you that 250th review. And I'm just procrastinating again, so here we go! :D

Okay, so the first part of this chapter involved so much "D'aw"-ing from me. My roommate is sitting in the living room with me, and she was really confused. But I had to "D'aww" because THE ROSE AND HARRY DYNAMIC IS SO CUTE!!! It absolutely never occurred to me to think about what sort of relationship they might have, and this is totally headcanon for me now. Like, in most Next Gen fanfic, you don't see a lot of the Next Gen gang relating to their elders in a way that isn't bad/sad/angsty, so I'm incredibly surprised and pleased to see such an adorable relationship between Rose and Harry. Sad to say, though, it seems as though Harry gets along better with her than he gets along with Albus. :P Ah well...

And I must admit, I was a little bit disappointed that you didn't write about the weekend that Rose and Scorpius spent together, but maybe they're going to talk about it in the next chapter? I don't know... But when you started this chapter out with Rose and then connected it to the action from the last chapter, I was like, "DANG, THAT SEGWAY THOUGH!" (Yes, it is necessary to use shouty capitals.) I was just incredibly impressed with how you connected Rose's PoV to Scorpius's PoV. So tell me, how do you do that? Do you write several chapters from Rose's PoV and then go back and fill in Scorpius's part (or vice versa)? Do you just write in alternating PoVs? Impart knowledge unto me, o wise one! :D

...Maybe it's too late for me to be writing reviews... Oh well.

Anyways, super cute and marvelously fab chapter. I can't wait to read about Rose and Scorpius's meeting!


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Review #9, by BellaLestrange87 Bent: Rose POV

19th October 2014:
Review tag!

I don't know why I didn't come back to this sooner. I read, reviewed, and enjoyed the first chapter for last month's Blue vs. Bronze review battle. Bear in mind I'm writing this review as I read the chapter.

Anyways, on to the actual chapter. I like Rose - even though she has what looks like a combination of post traumatic stress disorder and anxiety (although I'm not 100% sure) she doesn't let it rule her life. I can definitely see the determination and resemblance to Hermione there. She definitely doesn't want anyone to know about her panic attacks, which is completely understandable. Anybody who doesn't have them themselves wouldn't understand what it's like.

Scorpius definitely likes Rose. He's acting nervous while around her, trying to make casual conversation. At least he's comfortable with Rose and doesn't turn into a moron whenever he tries to talk to her.

Wolfram Longbottom sounds like exactly the kind of child that would be born from Neville and Hannah Abbott. They're both gentle at heart, and the mocking that Rose and Scorpius do suggests that Wolfram is as nervous about himself as Neville was in his first few years at Hogwarts.

You missed one punctuation mark - when Scorpius mentions Samara Tinsman the paragraph says: “That is Samara Tinsman,” Scorpius nodded toward her. She is American and working with the ministry as some sort of ambassador for international relations. Harry asked Al and Dom to introduce her to a few of the younger crowd. Although, I don’t think this is what he had in mind,” he gestured toward James and Samara..." After the first sentence there she be a punctuation mark before She is. It's a very minor thing, though, and it doesn't affect the flow of the story, since the sentence before was past tense while this is present tense.

Wow. Attacking Rose during a party hosted by all of her cousins, especially when there are a large group of Auror trainees there (plus friends and family that would undoubtedly come to her aid) is a very rash thing to do. I'm not convinced that it's a one-time thing, like Rose tries to tell herself. Since that was the event that sparked her PTSD/anxiety, I'm starting to wonder if it was the same person that attacked her before.

I wonder if there's something subconscious about Scorpius being the only one that can calm Rose down; if she secretly likes him, and yet they're comfortable enough around him to stand topless with him while he's also topless. Albus walking in (conveniently also topless) makes it sound as ridiculous as Rose thinks it must look. The conclusion that he jumps to is entirely reasonable.

I really enjoyed this chapter, and I'm curious to see if the person that tried to abduct/kidnap/assault Rose will try again, and what his motive is.


Author's Response: Wow. Olivia - this review. It's just. Thanks so much.

Yes. Rose is suffering from debilitating panic attacks as a result of not properly dealing with the trauma from her kidnapping. While she is trying to convince herself that it doesn't rule her life (you're right - she goes on like nothing's wrong), she really has been living in a dark place for the past two years.

Aaah! - so glad the Hermione came through! It is tough to write a character who *doesn't* think she is like her parents, but has a lot more of them inside of her than she thinks. You made me smile! :)

Haha - Wolfram is awesome. He and Molly are suited for each other.

Ooo - thanks for catching that - I'll fix it right up!

Yeah - that dude was pretty bold to think he could get away with grabbing Rose right in front of basically the entire Wotters and Auror trainee class - huh?

There is a bit to the whole Rose/Scorp dynamic - there will be more on that later, but they do have a deep connection. I can't wait for you to read it and let me know what you think. Yeah, it is a reasonable conclusion for Albus to make - but he isn't always reasonable where Rose is concerned.

I won't say any more about someone trying to get to Rose again... you'll just have to see!

Thanks Olivia!

♥ Beth

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Review #10, by UnluckyStar57 Bitter: Scorpius POV

19th October 2014:
Ahah! October BvB again! This review is brought to you in part by my awesome procrastination skills and my wish to learn more of Rose and Scorpius's story. :)

Oh. Wow. Albus and Harry were really going at it for a minute there. I was pretty shocked that Harry would choose to call Al out on his misbehavior and engage him in a duel in front of the entire Auror program. That sort of goes against Harry's whole "Mr. Nice Guy Peaceful Auror" persona with which he runs the department, but then again, parent-child relationships are always tough to balance, especially in the workplace. Thank Merlin for Scorpius hopping in with his peacemaking skills!

Oh yeah, and Al seems like he's just a little bit of a nuisance sometimes, what with all of his teasing and carrying on. But deep down, he just wants to prove himself to Harry, so maybe he purposefully acts out sometimes, to get some sort of reaction out of Harry? I don't know... But I love how complex your characters are! I haven't seen Al much in this, but he definitely has his own demons, just like Rose and Scorpius do.

A few typo-esque things that I caught:

"...although mildly irritated at Al for distracting me during the morning session, I just can't bring myself to be..."~Because this story is written in past tense, I think that the "can't" in this sentence should be "couldn't."

"Impedimentia!"~I think the spell is actually "Impedimenta."

Both are very minor things, so you don't have to worry about editing them if you don't want to. :)

One thing with the plot that concerned me a little was the speed of Harry and Al's reconciliation. There have been bad feelings under the surface for so many years, and they're just going to kiss and make up?! I refuse to think that this is the case. I think that it might be a reconciliation, but only on the surface--after all, this is from Scorpius's PoV, and he isn't exactly a mind reader. I'm thinking that tensions between the two green-eyed Potters will explode in a later chapter. The only reason that I bring this up is because the reconciliation was just. So. Quick! But now that I think about it, I'm sure that there will be more arguments to come. Ignore my waffling. :)

Uh oh, is Scorpius going to tell Rose the truth, or is he just going to beat around the bush some more? I'm betting that it's the later option. ;)

'Til next time!


Author's Response: Hi again!

Haha - I love procrastination - but I'll get to that later :)

You're not the first person to comment on Harry's quick temper. I think that it had been a long time coming between him and Al - and since they are both not the main characters in the story, so I wasn't sure how much time to put into their back stories. Harry, at this point is just really disappointed that HIS son is the one setting a bad example. He wants Al to be the best - that Harry *knows* he can be, but he seems to fall short and get a bit sloppy. I am thinking about how to handle this differently, but I really wanted the two to face off so Harry could tell Al that he's really a better version of himself.

They did make up pretty quickly, huh? Again, I wasn't sure how to pace this because I didn't want to spend too much time on a side story - hmmm, I'll have to think about that. You're not waffling - I really don't have another argument between the green-eyes, but I do mention that Harry takes some steps to show trust in his son, if that helps :)

Thanks for finding those - I'll definitely fix them. The validators are gonna hate me - haha!

Scorpius and Rose well... you'll just have to read to find out!

Thanks again - so, so much!

♥ Beth

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Review #11, by UnluckyStar57 Besotted: Rose POV

19th October 2014:
I'm back for the October BvB Review Battle! :D

Whoa. There is a LOT of stuff going on in this chapter. A LOT. Rose revealing secrets? Check. Delving into their past Hogwarts selves? Check. Evil guy who got mentioned a few times but is now one of the nastiest characters I've read recently? Check, check, and check.

Stannous. I mean, I don't want to say he's stupid because he invented his own variant of the Cruciatus curse. He's obviously a bad guy with brains, and that is really terrifying. From the little bit of information that Rose gives us at the beginning of the chapter, I can tell that he is a force of evil that may rival Voldemort in terms of nastiness. He's had a lasting impact on Rose, too, which is awful. I can't stand to see her hating the scars that he gave her, because that just makes her think more about what he did to her. I wish that there was some way she could see them as her own battle scars of survival and bravery--but maybe there isn't any good way to see them, since she's been through such an ordeal because of them.

And Scorpius is just letting ALL of his problems out. The bitterness that he felt toward Draco in previous chapters is unparalleled by the hatred that he projects to Rose. If Draco was really that bad, I pity Astoria. :( The revelation that Scorpius slept around at Hogwarts was a surprising one--I really didn't think he would, but it does make sense. It's just gross and awful that Rose had to catch him in the act. :/

One thing I was a bit confused about (and this is probably just my own silliness): Was that Scorpius's way of confessing his love for Rose, and vice versa? It seemed like it, but they didn't really continue that whole conversation. Maybe they set it aside for later so that they could concentrate on forgetting about Scorpius's past for the time being... Love was never going to be easy for those two, anyway.

Another marvelous chapter! If I keep reviewing them for the BvB every month, I might finish in about... two years. :P I'll have to stop by again sometime, just for funsies. :D


Author's Response: Hi there!

Wow. Thanks so much for this awesome review. I'm just floored by how thorough you are.

So - YES, Stannous is pretty much pure evil. There will be much, much more on that later on in the story. I'm glad that you picked up on the fact that he could rival Voldemort, because I wanted a character of that magnitude to be around to terrorize the next gen kids. (I just realized that made ME sound pretty evil - haha or should I say mwah-ha-ha!).

Yes! I want Rose to see the scars as a reason as her ability to survive and give her strength and power! She's just not in that place quite yet. She might need some help to get there... enter completely hunky yet slightly damaged tall, blond, Scorpius!

Draco wasn't bad, per se... he was just fighting his own demons from the war. Essentially cut off from wizarding society and ostracized by both the purebloods and Harry's crew had a rough effect on him. He loved his son, but was too caught up in his own depression to show it. The result was a barren wasteland of a home for Scorpius. He was much closer to his Mum, but still felt a need for friends. Aand all of this is from Scorpius's POV, so were seeing his take on things - from his 15-year old perspective.

I really struggled with having Scorpius sleep around at Hogwarts. On one hand, I think it makes the love he had for Rose less pure - he couldn't wait for the right girl to come to her senses. But, in the end, I decided that having that wedge between them would hold them off from getting together at Hogwarts - so that they were a bit older and more mature when they finally decide they want to be together. I hope that makes sense :)

My intent was to not have them confess any REAL feelings just yet, but to maybe open the door to the possibility that they were still interested in each other. I'm sorry if it came off as confusing, but I really appreciate the honest feedback. I'm slowly editing this story and all of this cc is really helpful :)

Ooo - please stop by anytime. I ♥ your reviews!


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Review #12, by Lostmyheart Bereft: Scorpius POV

19th October 2014:

I sat here, crying, because of the scene with Rose and Albus comming in, hugging him. I absolutely LOVE Rose, YOUR Rose. She is so loving, caring and incredibly sincere. I can't believe she did all that for Scorp, and to cry because of his loss. She truly loves him, and to feel someone's pain that much, it only means that you're a good person.

Then, just seconds after you made me cry, you made me laugh. I love that uncle of his. I laughed out loud, I mean come on! "magic blokes" and then Ron and Harry coming in, Ron being all furious and a complete idiot. I literally raised my arms saying "SERIOUSLY RON?!" and then I was like, "oh god I'm glad I'm alone right now".

This chapter was seriously a roller coaster to me. I cried, I laughed, I almost cried again, then I laughed. It reminds me of that scene in Friends where Joey says "smile, frown, smile, frown." That exactly how I would look like if anyone saw me reading this chapter :b

Apparate cadabra stuff. I lost it.

Beth, you're brilliant. I Love your humor! And your talent to break hearts.

I will continue this story. I WILL.

- Avi

Author's Response: Oh no! I'm sorry to make you cry!

I'm so happy that you love my version of Rose. I know that it's a bit different from what others view her to be. She's mostly portrayed as sarcastic and rough like Ron, but brilliant and brave like Hermione. I actually started the idea for this story by asking - what if Rose weren't a combination of her parents?

I had a lot of fun writing Uncle Phil and Ron in this chapter.

OMG - I LOVE Friends! I totally know the episode you're talking about - haha!

Aww - now you're making ME cry!

Thanks so much Avi!

♥ Beth

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Review #13, by Lostmyheart Blown Away: Scorpius POV

19th October 2014:

Seriously Beth. That chapter title, you meant it! They were literally blown away.
I'm just... Poor Scorpius, and I can't figure out whether or not this was an accident or a murder. Because,if it's a murder, then you have an incredibly twisted plot! With all of Rose's problems and now Scorpius'.

Honestly, I can't believe I haven't read more than two chapters, and now this, the third. Because I remember reading more, but apparently not. This story is actually on my reading list :)

Scorpius seems like a really nice, young man. He was so sweet when he thought of Rose, how he was in awe of the fact that they were, well, under dressed in a room together. To me it showed that he cared more about her, than her just being someone he can score. He actually fancies her, and I've always liked that whenever I read stories where Albus and Scorpius are best friends.

What struck me the most about Draco, is that Scorpius thought of the rumors back at Hogwarts, the rumors about his father calling people without magical bloodlines for mudbloods. I'm not sure if you intended it that way, but that meant that Draco never used that word within the walls of their home, when Scorpius grew up. So Draco never continued his father's way of raising his child, and I really like that. I've always imagined that the war had a good impact on Draco, where he learned how wrong they had been and then tried to avoid becoming like his father.

That kid, Mason, I like him! So sweet, with the M&M. Poor child, but then again, it surprises me that the Malfoy's have muggle neighbors. A trait Scorpius without a doubt inherited from his father - using people to get what he wants. He used Mason to get back at his father. You did this brilliantly, despite Scorpius being to different from his father, he is still having some of the Malfoy traits.

I really enjoyed reading this chapter! And I can't wait to read the next. Poor Scorpius...

- Avi

Author's Response: Hey Avi,

So glad you're enjoying this story - and I'm SO glad we did a review swap, your reviews are awesome. So - you are a very intuitive reader and I don't want to give too much away, so I'll just leave it at that.

Scorpius is a really good guy - and he is completely in love with Rose - the two of them just don't see it yet. I didn't want to just throw them together at the beginning of the story - because I didn't want to write a story where they are on-again, off-again, but I also wanted their relationship to mean a bit more, so they're taking it slow for now...

Scorp, Al, Rose and Selenia are best friends - mostly banded by the fact that they were all sorted into Ravenclaw. As far as Scorpius and Draco's relationship... well, that was sort of rocky. Mostly because Draco didn't want his past to rub off on his son, but also because he was so damaged by the effects of the war that he had his own issues to deal with. I wish there was a happier ending for him and Astoria, but they can live on a bit in Scorpius.

Mason is the annoying kid in the neighborhood, and yep Scorpius is totally using him - although I didn't originally intend it to be because Scorpius has a bit of Draco in him - but I'll take the compliment - haha ;) And Scorpius does have a few other Malfoy traits.

Thanks again Avi!

♥ Beth

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Review #14, by MargaretLane Bedlam: Scorpius and Rose POV

16th October 2014:
O.K., I'm finally getting around to this. Have gone to read SO many times.

You are really good at making it clear whose point of view you're writing from. It's hard switching between points of view in first person, but you do it really well. I only just noticed that now, which is a good sign, as it means I haven't been confused.

And you are STILL keeping us in suspense as to where Rose is, except that she's not with her parents. Oooh, ominous. At least she seems to be with somebody sympathetic, which is a good sign, but whether it's somewhere she'd be safe if attacked is still in question.

Harry's is good. If any home is likely to be protected, it's his.

One thing I've noticed here is that there are a few places where contractions might be useful. I think it'd be more natural for Harry to say, "does anybody know you're here?" than "does anybody know you are here?" for example. And even more so, when Al says "you are being completely unreasonable." I'm being very nit-picky here, but the "are" sort of slows down the sentence and makes him sound less irritated than he might otherwise.

Yi-i-ikes, that is the very LAST thing I expected. I think I pretty much had it in my head that the villain (I can NEVER remember how to spell his name) was working from revenge in some way or another. I kind of assumed he had something against Harry, Ron or Hermione and was punishing them by harming somebody they loved. I thought maybe he blamed one of them for the death or imprisonment of somebody he cared about - a parent, maybe - and was punishing them by imprisoning somebody they loved. I only considered that a possibility, but at any rate, I assumed it had something to do with revenge on them or at least was connected to the past, not to a prophecy.

And now I can't wait to hear what the prophecy is about. I'm guessing Rose is destined to something and the villain wants to prevent her from doing it.

I find it interesting how differently next gen. characters can be portrayed. Al's need to play the hero here is so much in contrast to my Albus's desire for a quiet life. Though, of course, my Al is much younger, but I don't think he'd ever react quite like that. The other way around - Rose needing to act the hero for Albus would be way more likely.

Author's Response: Hi MargaretLane,

Aww, thanks so much for this and ALL your reviews. It really lifts my sprirts when I see them ♥

I cannot tell you how relieved I am that you mentioned my POV. That is something that I really worry about. Actually, I tried really, really hard to write this story solely from Rose's POV, but I needed too much from Scorpius's perspective, that I had to go back and re-do several chapters.

Harry was Rose's obvious choice. Although her real intentions were to beg him to lift the restrictions. She was just trying to convince herself that running away wasn't so bad.

Yikes - I've made a concerted effort to improve my contractions, mainly because of your wonderful feedback. But you're right (see what I did there?) both of those places would sound better with the contractions.

Haha - the villain is Stannous (the Latin name for tin - from the Periodic Table). Ooo - I'm so glad I caught you off guard with the prophecy. Expect more next chapter. Much, MUCH more - (insert evil laugh).

Good guess, but... keep guessing!

I totally know what you mean about next gen characters! This site has opened up SO many avenues as to how the next gen plays out - it really blows my mind to see the variations of romantic pairings and character traits. I agree with your fic - Rose is definitely the dominant of that relationship.

Thanks again!


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Review #15, by CambAngst Bedlam: Scorpius and Rose POV

15th October 2014:
Hi, Beth! I'm afraid I couldn't be the first reviewer this time, but top 3 isn't so bad. ;)

First off, I'm going to allow myself a small pat on the back for guessing right about Rose's destination. **pat, pat** I'm also going to breathe a small sigh of relief that it wasn't someplace like Stannous's oceanside condo. I don't think I could have handled that revelation.

I see it didn't take Hermione long at all to piece things together from Scorpius's question. Interesting that Ron was the one to make the connection and figure out where Rose went. It makes an odd kind of sense. Ron obviously has a lot of experience dealing with the women in his family.

"I really need to see if she's all right," I didn't even try to hide the tears brewing in my eyes. "If she wants me to leave, I will, but I... have to see for myself." -- The boy is head over heels, isn't he? At the moment it's debatable whether he's deeper in love or in trouble, but I'm guessing that love will soon win out.

If you have to flee your own personal Azkaban, wouldn't it be best to go to the Head Auror's house? -- Well, best and also safest. Even when she's being irrational to a fault, Rose seems to make good choices. She's solid like that.

I know I've given you a spot of grief about Harry in some of your earlier chapters, but in this one I thought he was pitch perfect. He's fatherly, but not to the extent where it feels smothering. I'm confident Ron would have smothered Rose. Harry seems no less caring, but he's also understanding. He's ready to be forthcoming with her, even though he knows that what he's going to reveal will be difficult for Rose. It's plain that he doesn't love her any less, but he's treating her like an adult. Honestly, the Weasley family could use more of that.

Looks of relief poured over my friends and family, but I was still too angry to even acknowledge them. -- Yep, she's a Weasley.

From there on out, the conversation degrades into a melee. I loved the way you wrote the different sides of the argument. I do sort of wish that you hadn't written it as such a clean-cut male-female disagreement (Dominique aside), but I could see how the points of view were lining up. Ginny seemed ready to take on everyone (Ron, Albus and to a lesser extent Harry) on Rose's behalf.

Mum was yelling at Dad, Dad was yelling at Aunt Ginny, who was yelling at Al. Selenia was trying to catch her breath. Dom was arguing with Fred and James, who were getting more demanding by the second. Jax was trying to calm down his girlfriend. -- Marvelous. It's a full-blown Weasley family throwdown. The hexes were definitely about to fly before Harry intervened.

Ooh, another cliff-hanger. Something is definitely up. So, if I'm right about Stannous being tied into the Lestranges somehow, I'm bubbling over with speculation about what this prophecy is going to say. I'm guessing there will be some parallel drawn between the mother and the daughter. Perhaps Rose is the one destined to rid the world of the scourge of the Lestranges? My mind is spinning at an alarming rate here.

No typos in this chapter! Excellent job. Can't wait for the next one!

Author's Response: Hey Dan!

Yes. You get a pat on the back for that. Nice job (totally not patronizing you or anything - haha). I seriously can NOT read your reviews while at work, because outbursts of laughter are too hard to explain, especially when I'm blurting out words like "oceanside condo..."

Yeah, Hermione is a quick one - and Ron. Well, I'm not exactly one of those writers who has an entire vault dedicated to each character's motivation and back story - unless you count all of the thoughts that bounce around in my head.. BUT in my version of events, Ron is well, not very good with fully understanding his daughter, or effectively portraying his emotions to her. I think it's because he just wants to protect her so much, his first inclination is to conjure a giant bubble around her and follow behind it forever. That being said, he KNOWS that Harry will always have Rose's best interest and so understands that she feels less oppressed by him. However, that doesn't mean he's not going to stand up to Harry, should the occasion arise...

As for Scorpius, he's just a lost soul at this point. He *can't* have anything happen to Rose. It puts a bit of a blinder on him.

Rose's reason for going to Harry's house was more to plead her case, than a carefully thought out plan. She's just justifying it to herself.

*Exhales giant sigh of relief* You approve of Harry! It's easy for him to be a bit more understanding, as Rose isn't his daughter and he *does* love her so much, but is at least willing to see the big picture. I think Harry knows that Rose could, being of legal age, choose to say - "Forget all of this" (trying to keep this 12+) "I'm gonna take off on my own - see-ya!"

I'm glad the giant all-around argument came off alright. That was not easy to write. I actually completely forgot a character and had to go back and put in some more actions/dialogue to compensate. I wasn't really intending to make it sound like it was men vs. women, it just seemed that way to Rose. I should look at that part again.

So... about Stannous. You're right, but not right. I know that makes no sense. BUT much will be revealed in the next chapter and I hope, hope, *hope* that you will be less disappointed and more surprised and shouting at the computer screen, or whatever. ♥

Thanks again Dan, for everything!


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Review #16, by lindslo2012 Breakdown: Rose POV

15th October 2014:
This was such an amazing and intense chapter, Beth! I loved how you first started with her therapy session. Everything she says is so... well, real to what relationships are like in the beginning stage! I really liked her therapist. She seemed very understanding and knowing, unlike someone would be who thought this young girl talking about sex was absurd. But that's a real thing girls worry about. Am I good enough? Does he not really want me? I have been with my husband since we were fourteen (we are still young but have been together quite awhile now) but I know girls go through this time. And I did too. Lol. The way you called the trauma stuff was awesome. I myself am in the healthcare field as an aid and I was reading all that very carefully. You wrote exactly how I would expect a hospital like St. Mungo's would act in a situation such as this. Good job girl! And go Rose, she's the bomb... she learned how to find out if the patient's insides were splinched and she solved it. And... she made love to Scorpius! Beth, you wrote this whole chapter well, and I can't wait to read more! Come back and re-request because I bet it only gets better from here!!!


Author's Response: Hi Lindsey.

Wow - this review was so awesome - thank so much. I have also been with my husband for a really long time, so I'm glad that it came off alright as being realistic.

And I'm really, really glad that the trauma scene worked. I take that as a huge compliment, coming from someone who works in the field. Whew, that is a huge weight off my chest.

I'm just so excited that you like this story so much! I'm going to re-request right now!

Thanks Lindsey - ♥


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Review #17, by Dianainga Bedlam: Scorpius and Rose POV

14th October 2014:
Oh...this is getting GREAT! I cannot wait for the next chapter. I really love the relationships shown in this argument...Ginny and Ron.Al and Selena...Dom and everyone. And, my heart goes out to Scorpius. Love this story!

Author's Response: Hey there!

So glad to see you back ♥ Sorry it took me so long to get to this, but I wanted to say how much I appreciate the review. The next chapter is going to be a biggie!

Thanks! Beth

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Review #18, by k1187700 Bedlam: Scorpius and Rose POV

14th October 2014:
Yay! Another chapter up! God this one really showed how much tension was up in the air huh?

So we're finally going to find out what the big mystery is? Or is Harry only going to tell a half truth so as not to scare everyone? I need to know how Rose and Scorpius react to this, him knowing the entire time and keeping it from her even though it was about her! (But maybe it would just be me who'd be mad, I really hate being left in the dark about important things)
And Al and Selinia? I like it I won't lie, Selenia having a backbone on this front.

I don't know why but I've had this feeling that this story is going to mirror a tv show I found called the following (just a little, obviously its very different in content) but in the following it's about this huge cult, that's been going on for so long people have become sherifs in towns and made good friends with the main guy and then betray him. There are actually very little parallels between these stories but I keep thinking any moment now some of the kind of side characters (like James' girlfriend and Astinine) are going to turn out to be working for the bad guy the whole time.

Also, I wanted to say that I was touched that you replied to my review and remembered that I had reviewed your story earlier on. That was very kind of you.

And by the way congratulations on winning an award! You deserve it! This story is excellent!

Author's Response: Hey there,

Wow - you are FAST - this chapter just went up about an hour before your review. ♥

I was really worried about writing the scene with all the tension, I'm so glad it came off alright. The prophecy is the crux of the mystery and no, you won't have to wait long to find out the specifics :)

Ooo - The Following - I've watched a few episodes and it is really good. (Although I started writing this about a year before I saw any of that), but I know what you mean about the cult - I don't wanna say to much, but it isn't exactly like that, however I can see some parallels! All I can say now is WOW - I'm so glad you're into this story.

Thanks - I was so, so, so excited about the Dobby Award.

I reply to all my reviews - and I'm trying harder to get to them sooner.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth

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Review #19, by GingeredTea Bent: Rose POV

7th October 2014:
So I was wondering form last chapter whether other's know about this experience Rose had? Or is she trying to not only cover up her reaction but it's occurrence as well?

You played the party scene well, and you managed to introduce Scorpius with a casual ease that felt perfect. Their laughter over their made up conversations had me giggling a few times too. I KNEW something bad was going to happen when she stood up to get new drinks. I just knew it. Jerk, that's all I have to say.

---Why don’t we just invite Nana Molly and Grandad here and call it Christmas.--- Oh Merlin this had me laughing!

Then the ending. You took me from laughing to near tears - happy and sad all mixed together.

This was a great chapter! I can't wait to read another! :D Sorry for the delay. I must have simply lost track because I won't start a new review swap until I believe I have them all complete. :)

Author's Response: Hi there!

Gosh - thanks for this review - it has me all warm and fuzzy. I love it when a reader picks up on all my clues and everything I try to jam into a chapter! ♥

As for what happened to Rose... everyone knows that she was kidnapped for six days, but they don't know what happened to her when she was being held captive. Don't worry, it is revealed fairly early on, but I wanted to clear up that, at this point, they only know that she was kidnapped and returned.

Yeah, that dude was a creep, huh? Good think Scorp and her family were there.

Thanks again for this awesome review!


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Review #20, by lindslo2012 Breakthrough: Scorpius POV

7th October 2014:
Hey there Beth,
I am SO sorry for the wait! I haven't had internet, moved, and ect but here I am! And I see you have lots more chapters for me to review, woohoo! :)

So I am really starting to see Scorp's love for Rose. He is calm, collected, but extremely protective over her. This was a horrible thing that happened to her and he only wants to be there for her.
I hope that this chapter means that they are starting to really lead toward the investigation now. Maybe they will finally figure it all out so it won't happen again. And if it does I bet Scorp will be there to protect her. I love your next gen story Beth! I can't wait to read more!!!


Author's Response: Lindsey!

I missed you! I hope all is well. No worries about the review - I can wait forever for one of your awesome reviews ♥

Yeah, the investigation is starting to pick up. And I was so excited to see that you can feel how Scorpius loves Rose. He doesn't always maintain his cool, but he is good at rallying a group to focus on a task. He wants to get to the bottom of this and sometimes Al's temper gets the best of him.

I'm off to re-request again. Thanks so much Lindsey!


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Review #21, by Paddlewaddle Boredom: Rose and Scorpius POV

6th October 2014:
Things are coming to a head as we find out more about Stannous (as we did in the last chapter). Still trying to piece together in my head some theories about what exactly went on with the Department of Mysteries and WHY Rose is his target - but all in due time!

For a moment in the last paragraph of the sentence I almost had chills runnign down me thinking that it was Stannous who was at her parents house waiting for her, and not Scorpius (or at least someone she trusted) conforting her after she threw up. Thankfully its not the case and I really honesly do love this unparalleled trust they have for each other. A lot of the fics I read have trouble portraying this part of their relationship (at least beyond the initial 'chase') but this fic does it perfectly - the kind of relationship that's passionate, firey but also peaceful, trusting and loving.

Anyway I can't wait for the next few chapter as things are slowly being revealed!

Author's Response: Hi paddlewaddle,

So sorry I took a long time to get to this :(

Ooo! You picked up on the Department of Mysteries thing - very observant! Don't worry, much will be revealed soon.

Oh - that would've been really creepy to have Stannous there. *shudders*

Gah! You give me such feels because you really *get* the relationship I'm trying to portray between Rose and Scorpius. It is truly deeper than just a passionate love or best friends who finish each other's sentences. They are connected to each other - in so many ways.

Next chapter is in the queue! I can't wait to hear what you think!

♥ Beth

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Review #22, by UnluckyStar57 Bereft: Scorpius POV

5th October 2014:
Oh my. I really do love this story, so when I get a chance to review it, I jump on it. :)

For the October BvB Review Battle, I will review this chapter full of flashbacks. :D

Okay, so I'm in awe of your ability to write detailed flashbacks. I love how you transport the reader (me!) right into the past to see how fifteen-year-old Scorpius is coping with the utter disaster that is his life. Poor thing. :/ I think it's really interesting that you chose to make Daphne forsake her Wizarding heritage and live like a Muggle, but it definitely makes sense after all that happened during the war. I wonder what the situation was that drove her away...

Oh my gosh, Rose and Albus are the BEST. I like that Rose is so fiery and passionate about her friendship with Scorpius, even when she's facing off with Ron about it. I do think that Ron is being overtly rude about the whole thing--what did he think the two would get up to, especially with Albus watching?! Silly Ron...

And I like how Rose becomes Scorpius's rock through all of the bad times. It makes their scene in the beginning, with him consoling her, just that much more significant. I can't wait to see where this whole thing goes!

Drunk!Scorpius should be interesting... Hmmm... It's super interesting how he still seems to think of his father in sarcastic terms--"Death Eater Dad." Gosh, that's just awful, but he seems to still really resent that part of Draco's past.

Brilliant job with all of the flashbacks! I really enjoyed them. :)


Author's Response: Hiya Mallory!

Gosh - this review is so awesome - thanks! I'm glad you like my story and I hope you continue to come back ♥

Rose is not like her parents. She has this compassion inside her and her bravery stems from defending/aiding those who cannot help themselves. But because she is not a fighter like the golden trio, she sees this as a fault instead.

I also wanted to show that Rose and Scorpius are connected on a deeper level - a level they don't even know or understand just yet... foreshadowing maybe?

Yeah, Draco wasn't the best father. He was a bit to wrapped up in his own failures - so he just sort of left the parenting bit to Astoria.

Haha - I love this overprotective Ron. He just doesn't know what to do with a teenage daughter, so he flies off the handle. The situation isn't helped by the fact that Scorpius is a Malfoy.

Thanks again, Mallory!


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Review #23, by Roisin Broken: Rose POV

4th October 2014:

Oh man, I love this story already. There's so much amazing stuff going on, I don't even know where to start.

The "Get up, wash, get dressed, class, rounds, study" motif was REALLY well done, I just loved how you did that. And the way you use formatting to increase the depth of emphasis--from normal, to italics, to bold italics. It's really effective!

And I just have to commend you on the sensitivity with which you handled the more difficult aspects of this story. I think it's easy, when trying to be sensitive, to kind of euphemize the stuff getting addressed. Here, you did better by not shying away, and rather giving an unflinching picture of anxiety disorders, and the realities of surviving a traumatic event. The reason it is tactful is because it is accurate, which I've decided is the single most important part about portraying a difficult issue.

A kind of rambling aside: I once took a class on the AIDS epidemic, and several people in the class were drawn to the subject because they themselves had personal experiences with it (either being HIV+, or having lost someone). We watched several films, which were all VERY upsetting, and at one point, my teacher warned us that the documentary we were going to watch next was particularly affecting--because it was such an intimate look at one person's harrowing experience. As it turned out, that film (Silverlake Life) was the one that people found the least upsetting, because it most accurately spoke to people's real experiences. Other films could even be offensive, because people who didn't actually have personal experience were kind of imagining what it would be like. Additionally, that film ended up having the most universal resonance in the class, despite its subject matter being so specific. Anyone who had ever been touched by illness or patienthood could relate to the issues in the film.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make with that is that unflinching, accurate, empathetic depictions of sensitive topics are effective because they don't reduce or trivialize those issues for people who might have experienced them, and also can resonate more broadly with people whose experiences might not be the same, because certain feelings have more broad applications.

RAMBLE RAMBLE RAMBLE. Anyway, I loved this chapter!

On to the next!

(PS, I really liked the bit about the Sorting Hat hiding a bottle of whiskey!!!)

Author's Response: Hello Roisin!

Wow. Thanks so much for this. I was so relieved that you found my portrayal of the panic attack accurate and handled well. That was really, really important to me.

Truth be told, I *haven't* experienced a panic attack of this magnitude, (also was never kidnapped and held captive by a dark wizard - lol) but I've had enough experiences with - er - stuff, to know what you are saying. Whenever I read a story that's about something I've experienced and it's handled poorly, I can't even review it. :( - So I guess that is MY ramble aaannd I'm done now!

Another challenge that I *hopefully* conveyed throughout this story is that recovery is slow and not linear. You don't get better as soon as you get a boyfriend, or have a happy day or win a prize (you get the idea). I hope that comes through as well :)

So excited you like this story!!

♥ Beth

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Review #24, by GingeredTea Broken: Rose POV

3rd October 2014:
I loved this entrance for its subtlety, darkness, and intimacy. You take what I am assuming was a sexual assault and express it brokenly through the character's fractured perspective. That blame, so ingrained that it you feel it through her expressions but it doesn't weigh that much in her head - as if it is just a cold terrible fact now about herself rather than something up for debate.

I also love how instead of a classic trigger you chose a much more...I want to use the word intimate again but I know there is a better word to describe what I mean. You choose this feeling of grogginess, before she really knows what to do or what will happen, as her trigger. You do it amazingly well with a sophistication I don't often encounter in the fan fiction community.

Thank you for the fantastic swap. I hope we can do many more in the future as I am definitely in love with this story! :D

Author's Response: Hello again!

Thank you so much for giving this story a chance! I actually was not intending to imply sexual assault, but I was trying to be mysterious about what trauma Rose has endured to cause the panic attacks. A large bit of it gets revealed fairly early on (maybe chapter 5?)

Wow. Sophistication! Thanks so much! I'm just so excited you think the story is a worthwhile read ♥


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Review #25, by LightLeviosa5443 Bombs and Bonds: Scorpius and Rose POV

3rd October 2014:
Hey Hon,

Here for the BvB!
As usual you did a wonderfully amazing job with this chapter! I loved the emotions that went through the entire thing! You are so great at putting the reader inside the story and making them feel everything and feel like they're in that moment. It's wonderful to experience as you're reading, especially with as great of a story as this!

Okay, so this chapter was just like a million levels of heart break and amazing and just what. I mean, I don't even know where to focus in. First of all, the first part of the chapter is all AGH WHATS HAPPENING, and everyone is all silent and serious and ohmigosh it's just angst and nerves.

Like I seriously bit my nails. AND THEY TOOK ME LIKE THREE HOURS SO THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING BECAUSE I'M NORMALLY REALLY CAREFUL WITH MY NAILS. anyway. The whole time I was just panicking and worrying and the fact that Ron was pale and Harry was trying to keep his cool means that something was so not okay and that's just terrifying! AND MAYBE I MISSED IT BUT YOU TOTALLY KEPT US IN THE DARK ABOUT IT, TOO.


And then the second part. Rose's POV. Ugh. Ugh. Are you trying to rip my heart out or something?! Just, everything about this section was like a million levels of just. ugh. ugh. UGH BETH. I'm in love with Rose and Hermione's relationship. Just the way they're interacting, the pain Hermione was going through. The way you described everything. I think my heart broke a million times by the time Ron and Scorpius burst in.

Which, by the way, was an amazing job at breaking the scene. And the tension of Scorpius. The (sort of) camaraderie that we see between Scorp and Ron, when Ron is like YEAH COOK FOR US. And then the tension that's just emanating from Scorpius and Rose is all excuse me, I know you're lying. And then of course she can't even ask him because HELLO. RON NEEDS TO EAT.

It was just a wonderful chapter and I'm running out of words to say how much I liked it. I mean, it really was just an outstanding chapter. I'm anxious to keep reading and I can't wait to see where the rest of the story is going. I mean, i already kind of know because of the outline. But I can't wait to see it in writing. I'm rambling. I loved it.

Love you (and your writing) times a billion,
xoxo Sarah ♥

Author's Response: Hi Sarah,

A legitimate *nail-biter?!* Wow. What a fantastic compliment. Fair warning - it's gonna get a bit hairy from here - haha!

I'm so glad the emotion came through in the first part. I didn't want to reveal too much at this point. It's coming soon, but not just yet.

Yay! Rose and Hermione finally talked. That was a really big deal - and it also worked as a nice set up for what's to come - dun-dun-dunh!

RON NEEDS TO EAT. Omg - this is the BEST summary ever for the ending of this chapter. I'm relieved that the ending didn't come off as a quick, cut to the chase, because I was worried that it seemed to short. Whew! Thanks for that. Thanks for this and ALL of your awesomeness!

♥ Beth

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