206 Reviews Found

Review #1, by slytherinchica08 Bent: Rose POV

28th August 2014:
See I told you I would be back! Poor Rose! She must just have some absolute rotten luck to have that happen to her but I do think that you did a wonderful job with how she handled everything given that she had a somewhat familiar experience happen (though we don't know exactly what happened during this previous experience). Plus you also add more mysterious elements to the story such as why this man was able to get away after having the body bind curse put on him. I also liked that premise that if a person has the body bind curse on them that they are not able to apparate away.

Characterization was wonderful in this chapter as well, though I always find it interesting that people portray one of Percy's children as being a bit odd so to speak. But really you have each person a little different but still share some similarities with each other as well. In particular I really like the relationship you are portraying between Scorp and Rose and I really look forward to seeing where it will go between them.

The only thing in this chapter that I would question, would be Rose being ok with taking off her shirt in front of Scorpius. Granted he wasn't looking at her but with the way that I feel her previous encounter went that has caused the panic attacks, I'm just not sure if she would have been comfortable in that situation to do so. Especially since her panic was raised once more from this random guy who was grabbing at her. I just think that it would have reverted her a bit and make it harder to want to disrobe around anyone (even family). So I would have liked to see maybe a bit more panic at that part with Scorpius being there and her family barging in. Or maybe even just add in a little bit about her worry about disrobing in front of Scorpius to make that panic stand out a bit more. But then again, I also don't know fully what has happened, only what I am interpreting from the small little bits we have been give.

Either way, this was another fantastic chapter and I absolutely loved it! I really look forward to reading more and seeing where you are going to take this story. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Oh my gosh! Two reviews - thank you so much. This chapter definitely deepens the mystery a bit. He also shouldn't have been able to apparate because the flat had several wards and protective charms on it. Weird, huh?

Haha - yeah I guess you're right about Molly. She is very conservative, just like Percy. It made for a bit of humor in this otherwise dramatic chapter.

I think you may be right about Rose's discomfort, but there is a history between her and Scorpius - a lot is explained in the next two chapters. But, since I'm going through revisions, I might just put a sentence in about her apprehension.

Thanks again!

Beth


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Review #2, by slytherinchica08 Broken: Rose POV

28th August 2014:
Well after getting your awesome review and seeing that you were still next in line for a review I decided to jump on it and give you an awesome review back! And boy am I glad that I did! This beginning is so wonderful and has pulled me in already! I really want to know what happened just after that photo was taken to cause panic attacks for her.

But it's not even that that has really pulled me in, its all about your writing style and the way you pulled the beginning sentence in through the rest of the chapter. It really made it all flow together so well and kept bringing us back to her trying to work through the beginning of her day and getting ready for the events to come.

I also liked the look into the different characters, I think they all have different personalities that are going to bring different things to the table (and how many times can I say different in one sentence). The beginning for this story was so well done and to be honest, I really feel the need to keep reading and find out what is going to happen next and what happened in the past to cause this to happen to her. I'm also excited to see how Scorp and the rest of the Wotter family are going to come into play in this story. Again, great job and you will probably get some more reviews from me soon!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Now I'M the one sitting at my desk with a huge grin on my face :) Thank you so much for this awesome review!!

I've really worked hard on this story and I'm so glad that you like it. The fact that you want to keep reading is the best compliment I could get ♥

I've just gotten a beta for this story and I'm in the process of updating each chapter. I hope you don't mind if I use your idea and write the date of the updated chapter in the chapter title - because I think that's brilliant. Plus it will help me and the reader keep everything straight.

Thanks again for this awesome review!

Beth


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Review #3, by mymischiefmanaged Bent: Rose POV

22nd August 2014:
Hi Beth,

You said you were up for more review swapping so here I am :) - based on how much I've loved the first two chapters of this I'm up for doing a long term review swap between the novels if you are.

Ooo, I'm really glad you've got James living with the boys. He's one of my favourites and I wasn't sure from last chapter whether he'd be a big character in this story so it was great to see him. You wrote him brilliantly, with his only inviting the female graduates and then walking round with the most beautiful girl in the room on his arm. Combined with his sorting hat comment last chapter I can tell I'm going to love him :)

The little insights into some of Rose's other cousins are lovely, and giving them through Rose and Scor gives you the opportunity to develop their characters at the same time which is a really clever technique.

Wolfram Longbottom's adorable. You can see aspects of Neville in him but he's obviously not the same as his Father. I hope things go well for him and Molly!

Scorpius is absolutely lovely. His whole anger problems thing is a fantastic juxtaposition to how sweet he is to Rose, and I'd imagine will be something he struggles with later in the novel. Their friendship is just perfect and I can't wait to see how their relationship develops. Scorpius really stands out here - everyone wants to help Rose out but Scorpius notices she needs it first and knows what to do to make it better.

Finally, 'I felt something' is just the right level of touching and bittersweet for a final sentence.

This whole chapter...just wow, Beth, I'm really impressed. I'm loving this story and can't wait to see where it goes from here.

Let me know how you feel about a long term review swap.

Much love,

Emma x

Author's Response: Hi Emma,

I did not intend to take so long to get back to you on this - but yes, yes, YES! Let's review swap each others' novels. What a great idea!

I hope it won't be too much of a disappointment, but James is a minor character in this story. He isn't in every chapter. He shows up to offer some comic relief every now and again. But, he definitely gets the best lines in the whole story - so I hope that's some consolation.

Scorpius does have a small anger problem that shows up from time to time, however, it doesn't control him the way it did Draco. (although I think most of Draco's motivations where based in fear, not anger). At this point in the story, Scorpius is kind of wrapped up in his own issues - they show up in the next two chapters. He likes Rose, but she hasn't shown much interest and he doesn't know about her trauma - at least not to the extent of how it's controlling her life.

Glad you picked up on the last line. This is a bit of a turning point for Rose - because finally feeling something can be really good - but feelings can also mean open wounds as well.

Thanks so much - and YES - I'll leave you a review later on today!

Thanks!

Beth


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Review #4, by luciusobsessed Beautiful: Scorpius POV

21st August 2014:
Idk why but I think Al and Selenia are super cute. I wish you would write a fanfic about them only. I love that little Scorp/Rose shower moment, you wrote it so elegantly. I hope you update soon because I love this story and I need to know what happens next!!

Author's Response: Hi!

So glad to see you back for this. I let out a squee when I saw you had left me more reviews. Thanks so much!

Awe, you liked the shower scene - yay! That took a while to get how I wanted it, but I was pretty happy with how it ended up.

I'm working on the next chapter and it's kind of stuck right now, but after I get over this hurdle, updates will be faster.

Thanks again!

Beth


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Review #5, by luciusobsessed Beloved: Scorpius POV

21st August 2014:
Yay I love this Ron/Scorp bonding time, it makes me so happy. I think Ron just had to cool off and realize that Scorp is nothing like his father. And now I'm in the mood for soup and bread haha :))

Author's Response: Haha - great review! Soup and bread sound fantastic.

Ron isn't going to completely forgive Scorpius just yet - but this was a good first step for the two of them. I think Ron knows in his head that Scorpius is different than Draco, but old grudges die hard and he can't easily forget what Hermione went through.

Thanks again ♥

Beth


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Review #6, by luciusobsessed Breakages: Scorpius POV

21st August 2014:
You wrote Ron so well. I love how enraged he was and I didn't expect any less. I thought it was hilarious how the first thing he thought of was food. It's like typical Ron :) I feel bad that he compares Scorp to the rest of his family when he's obviously not. And I wonder why Hermione and Ginny had red swollen eyes? Did something happen to Dom? Eek! On to the next :D

Author's Response: Hello again!

I think I need to re-write that last part with Ron because the red swollen eyes were just because Ginny and Hermione were discussing Rose's torture and the fact that she'd lived with it for two years before anyone else found out. However, so much is going on in the story at this point that I can see where the reader could take this any number of ways.

Ron is tough. He is being tough basically to protect his wife, because Hermione was a shattered mess after the war and he helped her pick up the pieces. He sees Scorpius as part of the problem because he's part of Draco. It's going to be a longer road for the two of them.

Thanks again ♥

Beth


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Review #7, by LightLeviosa5443 Beautiful: Scorpius POV

20th August 2014:
OKAY. SO THIS.

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS PERFECTION.

LIKE I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO PUT IN THIS REVIEW BECAUSE EVERYTIME I TRY TO TALK ABOUT IT IM JUST GOO AND CAN'T FORM NORMAL WORDS AND IT LITERALLY COMES OUT LIKE ROSE TRYING TELL SCORPIUS HE'S HOT.

LIKE LITERALLY.

Your descriptions. I'll start there. Everything was so tender and sweet and carefully done and I just loved how gentle everything was. I feel like this chapter could've gone a lot of ways and you took so much care with it that it came out remarkably beautiful.

The emotions. This chapter was like one ball of every emotion known to everyone ever. Like it was just so jam packed with all of these emotions and moments and I just wanted to melt in them. I think I did melt in them.

Everything about this was just wonderful. I loved every single word in this chapter. I normally try not to pressure people to update, but gurl you need to update soon. I might die if you don't. No joke.

xoxo Sarah ♥

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Review #8, by LightLeviosa5443 Beloved: Scorpius POV

20th August 2014:
AH THIS CHAPTER WAS SO GOOD.

I loved how Scorpius freaked out and then cooked. Like to get over it and calm himself down he distracted himself by cooking. I need to meet someone who does that. I demand to be fed. I will stress you out so you cook so I can be fed. Okay, right, your story, not my insane need to eat all the time.

I love James. He like, doesn't get it, but he does. He's the comedic relief. He really is. And it's so perfect and it works and what he said to Scorpius makes me laugh. I like seeing the contrast between James and Albus. Like it's perfect. It makes sense. It works. It's necessary. I don't know what I'm saying anymore.

My favorite part of this whole chapter was Ron being there at the end. I think it was really wonderful to see that moment of clarity between the men and having them have that moment. I really just really enjoyed it. This chapter was wonderful. Perfect.

xoxo Sarah ♥

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Review #9, by LightLeviosa5443 Breakages: Scorpius POV

20th August 2014:
Wow. So, again you've done it. You've given me another insane heartbreaking moving emotional chapter and I'm just sitting here like what.

Like how do you even? Hold on, i'm finding real words to use.

Okay, so I liked the way that Ron reacted, because he's always been rash and I like that you show that he hasn't changed. I also liked the way that Harry got mad. I think it was important to see how Harry really feels about Rose and how he can maintain that professionalism even with his best friend.

That said, I was a puddle of family love when Rose was healing Albus, and then snickered when she was rougher with James. It was priceless. I also was a big puddle of feels when Rose was with Scorpius, both in the first section and the last. It was just cute and believable and such a nice tender moment in all of the intensity and insanity. I feel so bad for Rose. I want to hug her.

The middle section in Ron's POV. That got me. I mean, I don't even have words. It was just insane and amazing and perfect and moving and yes. beautiful job. I loved every second of this chapter.

xoxo Sarah ♥

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Review #10, by LightLeviosa5443 Breakable: Rose POV

20th August 2014:
Okay so this time I actually was so wrapped up in the story I hit next chapter and didn't review. BUT I'M BACK. TO REVIEW. SO DON'T WORRY.

This whole chapter was just one hug heartbreaking thing. Like the fact that Rose made a connection that it could be Lily, and Ginny's conversation with her. And then Hermione walked in. I was literally a big huge puddle of feels and it wasn't the happy feels I had a couple chapters ago.

I really liked the way you handled this chapter though. I liked how Rose's emotions ran the whole length of shock and reaction and how towards the end she realized the good idea of tea. It was a nice way to tie it in.

I also loved how she immediately only thought of Scorpius and then kicked herself for not thinking of anyone else. It's understandable and nice to see. It shows she's human.

You're doing an amazing job with these chapters. You're so creative and I'm so involved with the chapter. Like I literally don't want to stop reading. I'm actually so upset that I'm catching up because it means I have to stop. I haven't read through an entire story like this in so long.

I'm glad I'm doing it for yours!

xoxo Sarah ♥

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Review #11, by LightLeviosa5443 Breakout: Rose POV

20th August 2014:
AHHH I DON'T WANT TO STOP AND REVIEW THIS BUT I HAVE TO.

OKAY.

1. I love that Rose is finally going out! This is good! This is great! So exciting!!

2. I love that everyone was so excited to see her and she was having such a good time. I really liked the way that everyone interacted as a family and a group and just the dynamic sounded really fun. I also really enjoyed the way you described the people. It was a great way of introducing everyone and having us feel comfortable with them, and also getting into Rose's head!

3. I KNEW SOMETHING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. THERE IS NO HAPPINESS. (i'm going to start reading the outline before I come read a chapter because i don't remember it all and I feel like reading the outline would've prepared me) I WAS NOT MENTALLY PREPARED. IT'S ALL CUTE AND PERFECT AND THEN PEOPLE ARE BEING CURSED AND DYING AND AURORS ARE BEING CALLED AND I HAVE A REALLY BAD FEELING ABOUT ROSES APPARATING AT THE END OF THIS.

Sorry, I got a little yell-y. I just am really emotional over this whole chapter. Like, can't handle the feels man. I can't.

Wonderful wondiferously magical job on this one darling.

xoxo Sarah ♥

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Review #12, by LightLeviosa5443 Breakdown: Rose POV

20th August 2014:
AHH BETH THIS CHAPTER WAS JUST AS AMAZING.

SO AGAIN I LIKE TOTALLY FORGOT TO REVIEW WHILE I READ BUT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE I REMEMBER MORE THAN LAST TIME.

First of all, I love seeing Rose in therapy and opening up and just seeing that she wants to take those steps and that she's getting help and imrpoving. It's so heartwarming after everything she's been through.

Second, I loved the way that she ran down, and then the hic gave her such a big role to play. I can only imagine how tough losing a patient is, but with her being so new, it was incredibly impressive how she managed to figure out exactly what was wrong. She really did save all of those people! I just wanted to hug her when she fell apart.

Third. Ugh, the scenes with Scorpius. I literally was melting. Like just melting. Those were perfect and you reduced me down to a big pool of butterflies and it was all just asldmfimkdlfd. Yup. Just like that.

Can I also mention that I laughed SO hard at 'Malfoys Marevelous Meatloaf'. Like that was just hilarity on it's own. Rose is fabulous, the way she wanted to surprise Scorp. Though I won't lie when he went downstairs that she would get taken, or she'd go down and he would've been taken or hurt or something. So glad that wasn't the case!!

This was a wonderful wonderful chapter, hon!

xoxo Sarah ♥

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Review #13, by LightLeviosa5443 Breakthrough: Scorpius POV

20th August 2014:
Woo! Review Swap! (though honestly I might keep going for a few chapters because Isobel went to bed so she won't know I waited and I love this story. So addicting.)

WAIT BUT I DIDN'T REVIEW THE WHOLE TIME I WAS READING THIS CHAPTER. OOPS. I really love the way that you had the six of them working and how everyone had their own section and strong points. And I loved the reactions. I loved that Scorpius tried to keep it all in while Albus just got ridiculously angry and Dom was right there to fight him and the mentees didn't back down.

I also really really really loved the way that Kali pieced things together. A lot of them were things I didn't think about before, but now I'm all oooh. And even though I kind of already know what's going to happen I'm super excited to see this progression and everything!! This chapter was so absolutely wonderful. I'm also sorry that review is so short. I blame two things.
1. I want to keep reading so i'm like AHHH QUICK QUICK
2. I didn't comment while I read so now i'm forgetting things!

But this was lovely. ALSO OHMIGOSH YOU MENTIONED ME YOU CUTE PERSON YOU.

xoxo Sarah ♥

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Review #14, by LightLeviosa5443 Befuddled: Rose AND Scorpius POV

20th August 2014:
Hi hon! Here for the BvB!!

I love that they've all agreed so easily. And James trying to let his whole quidditch team is a riot. He's wild. It worries me a little that so many people know , though. I mean, it's a relatively small number, but a little slip of veritaserum or a scare and they might give up the secret and then uh oh spaghettios. Though I get the remote feeling that it's going to be uh-oh spaghettios anyway!

WILL THEY JUST OPEN THEIR EYES AND GET IN THE SAME BED. LIKE PLEASE?

Love protective Albus. Always have, always will. Like that's my favorite thing. Ever. AWE POOR HARRY. I WANT TO HUG HIM. I WANT TO HUG EVERYONE. Oh boy. One of these mentees is bad, huh? YES. BE HUMAN. BE. HUMAN. omg butterflies. i can't. LOL. OH ROSE CAN'T YOU SEE HE IS TOTALLY HEAD OVER HEALS (punpunpun) FOR YOU?!

LOL OH MY GOD I'M LAUGHING SO HARD. I CAN'T EVEN. Yes. Dom! You tell her girl!! omg this babble. literally crying laughing.

Oh, poor Scorpius!! Oh those cute poor little souls. They can't even get it on without having issues. Awe that was a cute interesting little twist!! So adorable. AHH FOREVER YAY.

BETH THIS CHAPTER WAS AMAZEBALLS.

xoxo Sarah ♥

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Review #15, by Infinityx Back to the Beginning: Rose POV

20th August 2014:
Hi! I think this is where I left off. I'm going to type as I read, so be prepared for a lot of randomness. :P

So this was the alternative to numbness - heartache and insomnia. This just pulled at my heart so much! Even though I've read this already, each line still affects me in such a powerful way!

I love how you write actions. The part where Rose rolls over and stuns Scorpius was so vivid! I could totally hear Scorpius yell when she did so.

I'm so glad she has him to comfort her. It would be so much worse if she had to go through the whole ordeal alone. I am completely in love with Scorpius in this fic. He's just so considerate and sensitive, and would do anything for Rose. :')

You've done a great job of writing her defense mechanism. And the way her walls fall down when she realizes she has Scorpius. Every single moment is so intense and you've written it all so wonderfully.

I'm so glad she was persuaded to talk to Harry. I think I mentioned earlier - it's really weird how Stannous and his goons were able to get through the wards. They must know some kind of powerful dark magic to get through them. I really can't figure out how they did it!

Poor Harry. Rose is like his own daughter and to learn of what she'd faced must have been heartbreaking for him. It is for me, and I'm only reading about her! And Rose. She's so strong to tell Harry what happened and get comfort from him. This is probably a huge step in her recovery process. I just hope she doesn't have to endure anything more!

What if Stannous can get past the Fidelius charm? :o Although, maybe my imagination is getting the better of me...

Update soon, lovely! I can't get enough of your writing!

Author's Response: Hiya Erin!

Aaaggh! This. This review just melted my heart. Awe - thank you so much! ♥

Scorpius is really hurting almost as much as Rose at this point. He just doesn't know what to do for her.

I'm sort of in love with Scorpius too! Can we share him?

Yeah - those guys are really clever to get through the wards - especially when you consider these are the next gen kids - and some Auror trainees. It's not like it's amateur hour, huh?

Rose had to buck up to tell Harry. If it were up to her, she would've kept the secret forever, but Scorpius was able to appeal to her compassion for her family. Harry is hurting a lot with this. He always feels an obligation to help - but this involves his family - and his goddaughter and he is taking it pretty hard.

The Fidelius charm is pretty tough to get through - I don't know if Stannous would be able to do it... but maybe...

Thanks again, Erin!

Beth


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Review #16, by LightLeviosa5443 Back to the Beginning: Rose POV

18th August 2014:
Ugh. Poor Rose. So delicate, so precious.

(I swear I thought I reviewed this chapter. I'M SO CONFUSED)

You're making Rose break my heart. NO FAIR. I'm glad that he's stepping up and helping her and just being a good support. And I'm glad that they're maturing in a relationship, hopefully. I just want them to be this cute perfect couple. I wish she would stop doubting Scorpius and he would stop being so afraid. Like you both need each other, admit it!! Oh, she's so insecure. She's breaking my heart. You're breaking my heart.

I LOVE HOW DEFENSIVE ALBUS IS. IT'S PERFECTION.

Harry Knows. He knows. Like there ain't no fooling him. Oh man, Rose, you're asking him to keep it from Ron? This is going to explode when Ron finds out. I don't even think i want to read that scene, that's how terrifying that idea is for me.

I loved this chapter, it was every fabulous wonderful bit of awesome that I expected it to be. Kick me if I don't keep reading in the next week. No, really, tell me to keep reading, I will. I just need to be reminded.

xoxo Sarah ♥

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Review #17, by LilyFlower_x Beautiful: Scorpius POV

18th August 2014:
Just re-read the whole story together with the revisions and it hangs together perfectly. The new details make it better to read and I love this story still :) Can't wait for the next chapter! Love this story!

Author's Response: Hi hi!

Wow! You re-read the WHOLE story! So glad you liked the revisions. I'm much more comfortable with the writing overall. Thanks again for this wonderful review!

Beth


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Review #18, by Rumpelstiltskin Broken: Rose POV

16th August 2014:
I'm here for the swap!

Plot/plot arch: I love this introduction. Exploring the idea of a character suffering through panic attacks -- something that is not to be taken lightly -- is a fantastically refreshing idea. I appreciate the realism of her world collapsing around her as they overtake her, and how she works through them. The tragedy that Rose has experienced, her reluctance to tell her friends about it, and the way she's handling her situation (dealing with her emotions alone) definitely make me wonder what's going to happen during the story.

Characterization: I want to know if Rose will be okay, which is fantastic, because that means I already care about her (and connecting with a character is a wonderful thing to do, especially so early on in a story). At the moment, her sufferings are driving her personality, as I would expect from somebody who is going through what she's going through.

Detail: In handling an extremely delicate situation, you've done a phenomenal job. Hinting around the what happened to Rose was tasteful, letting the reader know what had happened without directly coming out and saying it. Fantastic job. As far as overall description goes, you've done a great job with that as well, enabling the reader to obtain a firm understanding of surrounding and emotion.

Style: Your structure in this is lovely, moving through the moments of the chapter with purpose and direction. Also, the repetition of 'Get up, get washed, get dressed...' was a fantastic addition.

Notes/other: Overall, this is well-written and extremely interesting. I think you've done a great job. Thanks for the swap!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hi Rumpel!

Wow!

Thanks for this. I'm glad I hit a chord with you wanting to know more about the story and characters - Rose especially. Also relieved to hear that you feel I handled Rose's trauma well. That is really important to me. I wanted to convey the physical and emotional feelings of a panic attack and not have it come off as contrived, unrealistic or over-the-top.

"At the moment, her sufferings are driving her personality..." That TOTALLY sums it up! Yes! Rose really isn't this person she's become, but is so far gone at this point, she can't see it.

Thanks again - I'd love to do another review swap some time!

Beth


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Review #19, by crestwood Better: Rose POV

15th August 2014:
Hey Beth! I'm here for our review swap :)

This was a short little chapter and not much actually happened plot wise, but you filled us in on a lot more of Rose's backstory here. More importantly, it was just really fun to read. I'm able to fully sink into the story now and kind of become ignorant of my surroundings.

I really like that you're incorporating Harry into this story a bit. I love to see how he relates to the Next-Gen kids. His 'Wow. A girl. Wow.' was precious and the bond between he and Rose is so nicely written for such a small amount of words.

I am so relieved that Rose is feeling the same way as Scorpius. Beyond them being my OTP, I love them together specifically in this story. I love her protective nature when she calls Al back because she noticed his injuries.

I have a feeling her and Scorpius' meeting is going to make me very, very happy. It was really cute how she asked him to meet. He has quite an effect on her and I love it. And Harry knows!! I can't wait to see what happens next :')

Author's Response: Hello again,

Yeah, this was a shorter chapter, but it needs to be here so I could establish how close Rose is to Harry. My version of Ron is that he loves his daughter, but doesn't always know how to be around her.

I'm squeeing at how much you love my version of ScoRose. Once they get there (and there WILL be a few bumps in the road) they will have a really strong relationship.

Rose is most comfortable when she can put aside her own problems and heal others.

Yeah, Harry knows - well really, EVERYBODY knows, except Rose and Scorpius - haha!

Thanks again!

Beth


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Review #20, by mymischiefmanaged Broken: Rose POV

14th August 2014:
Hiya, I'm here for our review swap.

I really really enjoyed reading this chapter. I love next gen fics and this is definitely one of the better ones I've come across. Your Rose is wonderful and you've set her up to have a very original story. I love that her, Al and Scorpius were all Ravenclaws. I've not seen that before and I'm interested to see the way you write Al and Scorpius later on. It's also interesting to see a Rose/Scorpius (assuming that's the way this is headed?) that's set post Hogwarts. You've not gone in for cliches and I really like that.

Okay I really like how you've started off the novel in the middle of the drama. Your description of what it's like to have a panic attack is harrowing and very well written, and I like that we start by seeing Rose's weaknesses rather than waiting to discover them later on.

The photograph was a really nice way to reference Hogwarts and give a minor introduction to other key characters. I think it could have been effective so give a little more when describing the picture. It's an opportunity to give a bit of who the other three are, what they're like. Maybe describing whether they are laughing, if one of them is looking like the leader of the group, etc (think Harry's description of the marauder photo he finds in Sirius's room). The photo's a nice touch anyway, it's just also an opportunity to start to give some characterisation in a way that shows rather than tells. You could also describe Selenia's physical appearance here rather than later in the chapter where you have it at the moment. It might read a little more naturally as a reference to a photograph rather than a memory. Just a thought.

The small references to Rose's kidnapping(? I'm assuming kidnapping) without giving away too much make the chapter really gripping. I definitely want to read more and piece together what happened to her to leave her with the panic attacks. It's also really good how you mention the panic and the way it feels before mentioning that it's the result of a traumatic experience. The panic attacks are what's mattering to her in the moment and it's important that we see that first.

I like what we've seen of Dom and Selenia so far. Rose's best friend being muggle born makes so much sense. Of course she'd find it easier to get close to somebody who didn't realise she was famous. It'll be interesting to see what Selenia and Al are like together.

Love love love James's claiming that the sorting hat was covering up a bottle of firewhisky. Also I don't know if he's going to have a role later in the story but it was good to see James being friends with a Wood.

Rounding off the chapter with Rose saying it's too dangerous to consider the panicking is a strong ending. It ties up the rest of the chapter nicely and keeps the whole thing with a single focus.

So basically I really loved this. I'm so glad you suggested a swap. It's really well written and you've set up what looks like it's going to be a really interesting plot. I've added it to my reading list so will definitely come back at some point to read more. Let me know if you'd like to swap for some more chapters - I'd be more than happy to if you're keen.

Well done on a fantastic opening chapter,

Emma xx

Author's Response: Hi Emma,

Wow - this is one amazing review! Thank you so much! I agree about setting it post Hogwarts. Sometimes I feel like it comes off that only interesting things happen to high school students but, in reality, you don't have a lot of freedom at that age and finally living on your own (sort of) is a much more interesting setting for drama, angst and romance! So glad you like it. I put the three of them in Ravenclaw because I thought that they would all feel a little alienated from their families, but it would bring them closer together.

Thanks for the tips about adding description. I just got a beta for this story and I will be sure to look at all of the cc I've gotten for each chapter.

Yes, Rose was kidnapped for six days right after she graduated from Hogwarts. Her friends and family don't know all of the details of what happened during the kidnapping, but it comes out fairly early in the story.

So glad you liked all of the characters so far! James is fun to write. Selenia and Dom's characters come out a little more in the next few chapters.

Thanks again for doing a swap - I'm totally up for more!

Beth


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Review #21, by crestwood Bitter: Scorpius POV

14th August 2014:
Hey Beth, it's been ages, but I'm back again!

I knew I listed this story in the Top 5 favorite stories thread for a reason! I had only read four chapters at the time, but I had this really good feeling about where this could go. THIS chapter shows me that I'm not crazy.

I know that this story is primarily about Scorpius and Rose, but honestly you could make a spin-off/sequel/companion piece centered around Al and Scorpius' training and all of the struggles and tensions that come to a boiling point here. I wasn't expecting to see them actually training at any point, so even better, this came as a shock.

First off, I love Al's way of giving Scorpius his approval of what he and Rose are becoming. Their banter is so entertaining and I would have been upset that you cut it off, if it wasn't for the incredible scene that resulted because of it.

Harry and Al's duel was probably the best way I've ever seen a duel written on this site. You didn't settle for just naming spells and you didn't cut it short. You found a way to really get their emotions across, but not just there's. You gave us a real sense of the feelings all around the room. We understood who was aware of the real tension behind the duel and who was unknowingly cheering it on. We felt the tension build as the curses sped back and forth and you made us as nervous as Scorpius was starting to get. The relief I felt when Scorpius diffused the situation was cathartic and everything a high stakes moment in literature is supposed to be. EXCELLENT work on that scene.

The following argument/reconciliation of Harry and Albus was gripping at first, the kind of father/son argument that I had braced myself for; but then took a turn for heartwarming as Harry deduced the reason behind Al's rage. His maturity was on full display as he said just the right words and gave the right compliments to allow the situation to reach a calm. He was very right in commending Scorpius for handling the situation the way he did. This scene was just as affecting as the duel was. This chapter shed a lot of light on Albus' character and found a way to set us up with some more Scorpius/Rose interactions with the end. This was amazing to read. I hope I can start to get through these chapters quicker than I have been. "/

- By the way, your last review response was just lovely :D

Author's Response: Hello!

It always takes me a bit of time to respond to your reviews because I want to do them justice.

I DID see that you listed it on your top five stories and I think I screamed out loud! THANK YOU!

A spin off? I'll have to think about that. I have thought of maybe doing a one-shot here or there. Hmmm...

Holy cow! I can't believe this review. I'm so glad you liked the duel scene. I really wanted to show the different styles between an experienced Auror and a hot-shot trainee with something to prove.

It's really hard for Albus to *want* to be like his father, but also want to be recognized for his own merits. Hopefully Harry helped place him on that path. I also wanted to show that sometimes the teacher (Harry, in this case) is so busy being critical of the students that he forgets to tell them the things they are doing right. If nothing else, this was brought to light for Harry.

Thanks again for this! I love all your reviews!

Beth


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Review #22, by BellaLestrange87 Broken: Rose POV

13th August 2014:
Review tag!

This is a very interesting start to your story. I think the premise of this is very interesting and I will definitely keep reading.

I like the way you used humour in this story. For example, Rose's description of what happened after Albus was sorted into Ravenclaw.

The way you ended it - why is thinking about getting up so dangerous - makes me want to read on, and with my insatiable curiosity, off I go to read chapter 2!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi there!

Oooo - so excited to see this review! I like to add a bit of humor because the premise of this chapter (and the overall story) tends to be very dramatic. I'm so glad you appreciated it.

So excited to hear what you think of future chapters! ♥

Beth (Veritaserum27)


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Review #23, by Paddlewaddle Beautiful: Scorpius POV

11th August 2014:
This chapter was beautiful. That raw emotion and tenderness came across so well in the shower scene and the aftermath that I really had no words to describe how perfect they are for each other. This chapter really resonates the the title of the story "Actions Speak Louder than Words". It may be short, but it was probably one of the best chapters that really showcase the relationship and the unlimited trust that Rose and Scorpius have in each other. This story keeps getting better and better and I can't wait for the next!

Author's Response: Hiya!

You always *get* my chapters so well! It just makes me squee for your reviews! I know it was short, but I said everything that was needed. I'm so glad you enjoyed it and really *felt* how much these two care for each other.

Thanks again!

Beth


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Review #24, by Infinityx Bombarda Maxima: Scorpius POV

10th August 2014:
Swappy swap time and wow. Just wow. That has got to be the most intense chapter I've read. I vaguely remember already reading this a while back, but I'm not sure how far I got so I'm reviewing this chapter as I remember most of the events till here.

Poor, poor Rose. Just. I don't even know what to say. There's just that question of "why" throughout. Why her? Why the torture? What did she do to deserve this? Just why? :(

I can't even imagine the extent of torture she must have undergone to get to this state. Scars all over her body. skbflnadl. (I'm repeatedly yelling a variety of strong words in my head.) No wonder she gets panic attacks. She must be so strong. I just want to hug her and tell her she'll be safe but I can't promise that because somehow Stannous got to her again and for some reason it feels like even the strongest wards won't keep him out but I cannot even begin to fathom why.

Oh, Scorpius and Al. That scene in the Forest of Dean. I had tears in my eyes when I read that. This is probably one of the few chapters I've read extremely slowly and thoroughly instead of reading quickly, because it was filled with such powerful scenes and imagery that all the situations are etched in my mind and just. You're going to make me sob and weep and become a huge mess by the time this is over, I know it.

I wish Scorpius could have sat on the bed or laid down next to Rose, but maybe that would have been too close for comfort for her. I'm so glad she has so many people who care about her. But even with so many aurors, why on earth was Stannous able to get to her?! They should protect her better! What in the name of Merlin are they thinking?!

Ok, I'm going to read on now and hope that I don't have a panic attack myself with the amount of exhilaration and feels rushing through me. Fantastic chapter, Beth, and if I die because of this I'm taking you with me. :P Ily.

Author's Response: Hi Erin!

Wow! Thank you so much for this completely awesome review.

This is probably the most intense chapter of the entire story so far. The most recent chapter is also pretty intense, but in a different way.

Yeah. Stannous is a pretty bad dude. He's sick and twisted and basically insane, plus a pretty powerful wizard so all of that adds up to some serious problems for Rose.

Rose is really strong! She just doesn't see it yet. I think, when someone is going through a serious trauma like that, they can't see past their own suffering - and don't even realize. She has tried to distract herself - and now has a little something going on with Scorpius, but I don't think she would've ever felt complete if he didn't know about her past. I think it would've got in their way of being an honest couple.

At this point, Scorpius isn't sure what to do for Rose. He's grappling with the truth himself, and wants so much to be there for her, but isn't quite sure how to go about it. Hmmm... that is interesting about how Stannous has been able to get through the wards, isn't it? All I'm gonna say.

She does have a really great support group and they all want her to get better - so that is a start!

Oh no! Please don't have a panic attack and definitely don't die! Goodness, I don't think I could handle that - haha!

Thanks again, for these lovely words!

Beth


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Review #25, by MargaretLane Beautiful: Scorpius POV

10th August 2014:
Yikes, you update quickly. *grins*

This is REALLY nitpicky, but "said she would just wait for you down there" sounds pretty formal for casual conversation. "...said she'd just wait for you down there" might sound more natural. There are a few other places too where contractions might make things sound more natural.

I like the fact you continue to make reference to their injuries. Stuff like that is easy to forget, or to omit, feeling it will get repetitive and it's not really realistic that they would never be mentioned again. It makes far more sense that they WOULD be thinking about them, as they are here.

I also really like the sentence where he feel tears in his eyes. Somehow you write that in such a way that one can really feel his helplessness and sadness over everything that's happened.

Hmm, that's an interesting distinction, how Rose looks at the injury differently when working as a Healer. It shows her professionalism - that she is able to put aside her relationship to the injured and her worries about them and just concentrate on her job. And she thinks she isn't strong!

Again, I think "she told me we'd a bond most people wait an entire lifetime for" might sound more natural than "she told me that we had a bond that most people wait an entire lifetime for."

I'll admit I'm not a great fan of romantic stuff or of physical description, which this chapter contains a lot of (I tend to skim the battle scenes in Harry Potter and just wait for Dumbledore's explanation of what was basically going on), but that's just personal preference and I do see the importance of this chapter and how it shows Scorpius and Rose beginning to get over all the things that stand between them - their family histories, both of their traumas, his worry that he might be pushing her into something she's not ready for - and realising they need each other and can help each other. So while it's not exactly my favourite chapter, I do see that it's a significant one.

Author's Response: Hello!

Work has been a bit lighter the past few months, so I've had time to update at a more regular pace. I don't think I'll be able to keep it up through the fall, though :(.

I've been trying to make a more concerted effort to look at my dialogue - specifically the contractions, and I 100% appreciate the feedback on this.

Forgetting about injuries or birth dates and all the other little details is also a pet peeve of mine, so I try really hard to maintain accuracy.

Yeah, Rose is a top Healer. I can't believe that she doesn't see how strong she is either - sheesh Rose!

Haha - I was actually going to PM you and warn you about this chapter - but you read it before I had a chance. I knew it wasn't your cup of tea, but I REALLY appreciate the review. I can promise you that we're done with the mushy stuff for a bit!

Thanks again!

Beth


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