156 Reviews Found

Review #1, by CambAngst Breakages: Scorpius POV

22nd July 2014:
Hi, Beth! It's always a nice surprise when I check in with this story and there's a new chapter posted.

I didn't really think about the timeline until I was reading your author's note at the end, but now that I think about it, Rose must have been running on fumes throughout this chapter. She made it through the aftermath of the mass-splinching, she got it on with Scorpius, she went out to a bar, she survived a death eater attack, she had that huge emotional moment with her mother... Wow. She literally must have been on the verge of collapse.

I feel like some readers might not agree or approve, but I have to say that I thought you got Ron exactly right in this chapter. He doesn't deal with change well, nor does he deal well with adversity when it's personal. He tends to get angry, look for scapegoats (Hermione in the early part of Sorceror's Stone, Harry in Goblet of Fire and again in Deathly Hallows) and say nasty things that he regrets later. The fact that everyone is telling him that he's wrong would only tend to make him angrier.

With Rose, I thought you hit a pretty good balance. She was very immersed in her work, which gave her the confidence to challenge her uncle. "Harry spoke first, since everyone else was pretty much tongue tied, in awe of her... well..." Yeah, that. ;) At the same time, you didn't overdo it. She still can't quite bring herself to tell her father off. She's hurt by his cruel words and lack of understanding. Instead, you gave her small shows of defiance, like holding Scorpius's hand or tucking into his embrace.

Scorpius's emotions made perfect sense to me throughout. He's worried about Rose and angry at the mistreatment she's suffering from her father. At the same time, he knows he's on thin ice, job-wise. And I think he had faith that Harry wasn't going to let Ron go too far, which probably helped.

The way you wrote Harry in this chapter was, for me, a big improvement over the chapter where Rose finally tells him about Stannous. I could feel a bit of fire and emotion there, tempered by the fact that he was presiding over a meeting full of people who work for him. I did feel like it was a little too late and a little too formal when he finally told Ron off. Given how well he knows Ron, I would have expected him to try to slow the Ron Train down a bit earlier and a bit less administratively. Then again, maybe he just knows a lost cause when he sees one.

I think the character I was most confused by in this chapter was Albus. Up to this point, you've painted him as something of a hothead who's viciously protective of Rose. Here, he watches her absorb a mountain of abuse from her father and he really only steps in to try to defend Scorpius.

I really liked the PoV changes in this chapter and I thought that every scene added something. Ron's scene added some very necessary color and depth to his anger. Without that, I think Ron would have come off a bit caricatured. Instead, you made his feelings seem natural and believable. For a moment, I was tempted to believe that you were dropping a cliffhanger on us, but I think they're just going to tell Ron the truth about what Stannous did to Rose. The final scene from Rose's PoV added a little closure and certainty to her feelings at the end of this very long, very hard day.

I didn't see a single typo or misplaced word in this chapter. Great editing, and overall great job!

 Report Review

Review #2, by amelia_rose_pond Bombarda Maxima: Scorpius POV

21st July 2014:
I really enjoyed the intensity and accuracy of this chapter! You captured the raw emotion and uncontrollable anger that comes from pain so well! I found myself getting angry with scorpius and albus. So good job, you did a fantastic job!!

Author's Response: Hello!

So nice of you to drop by for this wonderful review. Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad that you found the emotion and pain to feel real. I worked hard to get the emotion just right.

Thanks again!

P.S. Love your username and quote - Matt Smith is MY Doctor!

Beth (Veritaserum27)


 Report Review

Review #3, by crestwood Bent: Rose POV

21st July 2014:
It's been awhile, but I'm back to give you another review! Kind of coming from the review tag, but mostly just reading for pleasure at this point.

I like that Scorpius has a house with not only Al, but James. No one ever envisions him as friendly with James as well, but I like it.

Rose reacts to parties and crowds kind of similarly to me and trust me, this is an accurate portrayal of a person suffering from panic attacks. Hers may be a bit more crippling due to her kidnapping, of course, but regardless, very realistic take.

Scorpius coming to keep her company is really awesome, although I was wondering what the reason for his mood at first was! I wonder what's got him that way in the midst of a party.

The scene with the man at the party was very well written. I felt terrible about the way she blamed herself and kind of saw it as an overreaction though. I think she's perfectly justified in freaking out about some random drunk man grabbing her, even if she was never kidnapped at all. I hope she begins to understand that it isn't all her fault, eventually.

I'm glad you gave Rose and Scorpius a tender moment without it having to be overly romantic. I like a nice moment between friends just as much and I think they are unfortunately underused on this site.

This was an awesome chapter. Can't wait to read on!

 Report Review

Review #4, by dracodarlingxx Breakable: Rose POV

18th July 2014:
oh dear god that was riveting. so frikking dramatic.
you just seem to know the right reactions for each character, like when Rose goes down to the basement and starts practising all her spells, so angry at herself like a Gryffindor, yet learning the spells like a Ravenclaw.
SUCH a good chapter ., definetely my favourite :D glad we got to see Ginny's POV, and just a bit unsure about whether Hermione knows about what happened to Rose now?
please update soon xx

Author's Response: Hi Hi!

So glad to see you back! I was really proud of this chapter - both in the emotion that was portrayed and Rose's progress. She experienced some frustration, but made some breakthroughs with her Mum and focusing on what she is good at: healing instead of fighting. I'm glad you picked up on Ginny's POV. Many people don't like Ginny and claim that she is the typical "girl next door who marries the hero." But there comes a lot a baggage with that - and I didn't want to gloss over the fact that being brave sometimes means you have to be strong for everyone else instead of being in the thick of battle.

To answer your question: Yes, Hermione knows about Rose's torture during her abduction. Now Rose also knows about Hemione being tortured at Malfoy Manor during the war. Both of those facts play an important role in the next few chapters.

The next chapter is in the queue - so YAY! I can't wait to hear what you think about it!

~Beth


 Report Review

Review #5, by crestwood Broken: Rose POV

17th July 2014:
Hey, I'm here from the review tag!

Wow, you've been working on this story for a really long time. I can't believe you were so successful on your first ever fanfic, both in quality and review count.

Rose's panic attacks are very well written and realistic. The encounter in her past that caused them sounds absolutely traumatic. You've really given us a look inside her mind. Especially with the kind of chanting she does inside her head of the tasks she's supposed to be doing in order to keep her firmly planted in reality. That's such a good touch there, in my opinion. Also, I've never read anything in which Rose, Scorpius and Al are all sorted into Ravenclaw before, that's definitely unique within my experiences on this site. I'm interested in where you'll take this and I'm going to read through this all, but that may take me a while, unfortunately. But I'm for SURE going to leave a review on each chapter. Great job on this!

Author's Response: Hello and thank you so much for this lovely review. I was so excited to see that you chose this story - most people shy away from the novels and play it safe by reviewing a one-shot. I've definitely worked the hardest on this story so far and I plan to be fairly consistent with the updates (at lease for the next couple months).

I hope I've included enough mystery and intrigue to keep you interested. I'm so excited to hear what you think about each chapter. Like I said, this is my first attempt and I am muddling though a bit.

I just wanted to let you know that this review totally made my day!

~Beth


 Report Review

Review #6, by luciusobsessed Breakable: Rose POV

15th July 2014:
Wowowowow I'm so sad this is the last chapter so far :( This was so intense, mostly because we're waiting to find out what happened. I'm so glad Rose found out the truth and was okay with Hermione finding out. I'm just nervous about Ron now. Please hurry up and update! You're amazing!!

 Report Review

Review #7, by luciusobsessed Breakout: Rose POV

15th July 2014:
OMG I KNEW THEY WERE AFTER ROSE AND I KNEW THAT WOULD HAPPEN. It's so strange how Death Eaters are coming back? Does this have something to do with Voldemort even though he's gone? I mean The Cause at least. Idk I can't review right now because I have to read the next chapter lol

 Report Review

Review #8, by luciusobsessed Breakdown: Rose POV

15th July 2014:
Ah you did again, another amazing chapter!! It was perfect!! It really is hard losing a patient. It's one thing learning about it and another experiencing it. I could never deal with that kind of responsibility. I'm glad Rose can be so close to Scorp now without freezing up. I still feel like something bad is going to happen soon though. We shall see I suppose. Right now I'm just ridiculously excited over how cute they are.

 Report Review

Review #9, by luciusobsessed Breakthrough: Scorpius POV

15th July 2014:
I like the edge of mystery to this chapter, it really brings a lot of questions to light. I don't know why but a part of my suspects maybe someone from the inside is involved? It's just a random guess though, I'm not sure. Either way, this Stannous guy is seriously scary and I can't wait to figure everything out about him.

 Report Review

Review #10, by luciusobsessed Befuddled: Rose AND Scorpius POV

15th July 2014:
It's about time they talked! I swear miscommunication is always the problem and I'm so happy they finally talked about it instead of dragging it on. They are perfect, I swear. It's terrible that Rose has to suffer so much mentally, and I feel like even though she's getting better, something is going to happen again suddenly. I'm glad she has everyone supporting her though, especially Scorpius. Great job on this chapter, it was amazing once again!!!

 Report Review

Review #11, by luciusobsessed Back to the Beginning: Rose POV

15th July 2014:
I love Harry so much. This is making me want to have a movie marathon and I think I will after catching up on all the chapters. Harry is the sweetest most caring person ever and I'm trying not to cry right now. I wish I had an uncle like him in my life and family like the Potters and Weasleys. Sorry I'm getting too personal and dramatic. You're such an amazing writer and your story is so amazing. I'm so attached haha. I like how Rose has that small voice in her head that doubts Scorpius. That's how I always am too, there's always that small room for doubt so I can really connect with her character over that. I loved this :))

 Report Review

Review #12, by luciusobsessed Bombarda Maxima: Scorpius POV

15th July 2014:
Wow, I think this was definitely my favorite chapter so far. It was so so so intense I can't even…I gasped so many times. Poor Rose :( They finally discovered the scars on her back and it made them go crazy. I love how protective they all are of her. I wish I was part of their group/family honestly. It was really scary imagining Albus and Scorp torturing those poor trees, especially when Albus used the killing curse. That was crazy intense. I'm glad that they're all sticking together, especially Scorp with Rose. He better not play the hero and give up lol.

 Report Review

Review #13, by luciusobsessed Besieged: Rose POV

15th July 2014:
No poor Rose. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm excited for all this drama because it intensifies everything, especially with Scorpius. I just feel so bad for her that she has to deal with the trauma of everything all over again. Everything was going so well for her and Scorpius. I had a feeling that guy from the party earlier had something to do with her trauma. I would write a longer review but I want to read the next chapter haha.

 Report Review

Review #14, by luciusobsessed Better: Rose POV

15th July 2014:
I love how realistically nervous you make Rose. God knows I would be so nervous I would probably turn around and leave the room hahaha. They are so cute together and I like how it's not cheesy at all. THANK YOU FOR NOT BEING CHEESY! Scorpius is so cute. I love how he gets just as nervous and isn't trying to be super macho all the time. I think it's interesting how Rose is closer to Harry, and it's adorable how Harry notices the romance going on between Scorp and Rose. On to the next chap!!

 Report Review

Review #15, by CambAngst Breakable: Rose POV

14th July 2014:
Hi, Beth! I just eat these chapters up as soon as they're posted!

Whew! I was worried at the end of the last one that Rose and Lily wouldn't make it. Once you land them safely on terra firma, I really liked the progression of this chapter. Rose went from being a shaking, blubbering mess -- granted, one that was able to apparate two people to safety without losing any parts -- to seizing control of the situation by the end of it. As is always the case with your writing, the transition was paced beautifully. There were steps forward and small setbacks along the way, which adds to the realism. Things aren't linear in real life.

I really liked the way you wrote Ginny in this. She's not dismissive or blasé about the situation, but she behaves like she's been there before. Because I'm sure she has. Many times. She understands how she can best help her husband: by staying calm and not rushing into the middle of an already dangerous scene. She was fantastic at reassuring Rose and helping her to focus on the thing that she can control: herself.

I loved Rose's inner monologue in this chapter. I pretty much love it in all of your chapters, but this one was even better. You could feel the frenetic energy pouring out of her, punctuated by the moments of total exhaustion. It was a huge roller coaster ride, which I'm sure was exactly what Rose was feeling in the moment.

When you're tweaked to the point of coming unglued, there's nothing quite like unleashing your frustrations on a dueling dummy to calm those frazzled nerves! Awesome scene.

Wow. So now Rose knows the whole truth about her mother. The mother-daughter circle comes complete, in a way. I hope this will be a big step toward Rose accepting her experience and being able to talk about it with the people closest to her.

Who could have known I was at the pub?

Everyone.
-- Are you intentionally having a laugh on me here? :p

The end of the chapter was just awesome! Rose, in total control! No, you silly boy, you will not go to that stupid briefing right now. Lay your delectable booty down on this couch while I throw down some healing on you! Aunt Ginny! Don't just stand there, go get the snake fangs!

Honestly, if you take "typical" Harry Potter scenarios out of context, they're hilarious.

I saw one typo as I was reading:

My fingers pulled the unruly curls tights and twisted it back into a ponytail without thinking. - "... pulled the unruly curls tight and twisted them..."

Awesome, awesome chapter! It so much fun to see Rose coming along like this. Can't wait for the next!

 Report Review

Review #16, by kenpo Breakout: Rose POV

12th July 2014:
WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE THE CHAPTER THERE? I'M SO MAD AT YOU. I actually totally love you, though. This story is going to mess with me.

I really liked that Rose wasn't completely cool at the pub. It would rub me as really unrealistic if she clicked the on/off switch of mental illness.

OKAY AND THEN THE DEATH EATERS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE WHOA NOW. How the heck did they knew that Rose was going to be at the pub? She didn't even know that she was going to be there until she was there!

Which one of them is working against her? It better not be Scorpius. Maybe this has something to do with his magical power? I've also been wondering what circumstances he can use them under. I've been meaning to mention that, but I kept forgetting. What circumstances can he use that power under? TELL ME.

I'm so sad that there are no more chapters right now.

This is so crazy. WHY WERE THE DEATH EATERS THERE?

I can't handle this right now. Oh my god.

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

 Report Review

Review #17, by kenpo Breakdown: Rose POV

12th July 2014:
OH MY GOD THIS CHAPTER WAS SO GOOD. WHAT? WHAT? I'M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW.

Okay so the first part with the therapist was just generally awesome and gave us some nice character insight.

And then the second part... WHAT? Okay am I remembering right, was that Cormac McLaggen? I can totally see him going into that type of career, and being that ambitious, but also irresponsible.

You wrote out that scene so well. I couldn't stop reading. I was nervous and right there with the action. I'm so proud of how Rose handled herself!

It's gotta be really rough for her to lose her first patient :(. That can't be good for her overall recovery.

The her and Scorpius. YAAS. I'm so excited for them. All I can do/say is just freak out all over the place.

I'm getting way too into this fic. I need to stop... after the next chapter...

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

 Report Review

Review #18, by kenpo Breakthrough: Scorpius POV

12th July 2014:
Okay, so I'm totally addicted to this story. I'm probably going to end up bugging you for updates and then you'll get mad and report me and I'll get banned.

Oh no! I won't bug you too much, I promise.

Okay, this. Oh my god. I love how you've given us an inside look at how auror investigations go! There are just too many questions here. I don't even know what to predict. I have zero ideas about how any of this will go, but I'm along for the ride!!

Maybe I'll eventually give you some predictions...

I love Dom. I don't know if I've mentioned that yet, but I do. She's fantastic.

Will we get to see the conversations with the staff? I'm sure that speaking to people who knew Stannous will give at least sooome information, right? Hopefully.

What else do I want to talk about?

I want to know the answers to all of the questions that were posed in this chapter. Are any of the other characters in danger? I hope not! Who are the other two guys?

I think right now my working theory would be Death Eater revenge? I can't see it being a fanatic thing, or else he'd be acting alone, right?

I SAID I WASN'T GOING TO SPECULATE.

I'm done. I need to keep reading.

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

 Report Review

Review #19, by kenpo Befuddled: Rose AND Scorpius POV

11th July 2014:
Hello! I'm trying to review as much as can in the little ten minute breaks that I have here and there... so I'm back!

The line about how Rose was worried about Harry having a target on his back, but it not being a big deal because he was used to it made me laugh.

Awww Colleen Creevey aw aw oh my god aw.

I love how you gave Rose one friend, Dom, who didn't treat her differently. That's something that would be hard for Rose, because being treated like a victim would make her feel like a victim. So yay that Dom is treating her like Rose.

Rose was being stupid, and so was Scorpius, because people tend to be stupid, but they finally got some of their feelings out in the open and now they can live happily ever after? Eh, you probably won't let that happen, will you?

I'm really interested in Scorpius' mysterious healing powers, because I really doubt that you'd just throw that in for the heck of it. What is it, exactly? I'm curious.

And... I don't have time for the next chapter because I have to go to work! But I'll be back!

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

 Report Review

Review #20, by kenpo Back to the Beginning: Rose POV

11th July 2014:
ARGH! Poor poor poor Rose! It's so horrible that right when she was starting to feel better and move past it... boom. Nope! You don't get to feel better, Rose. I'm glad that she's at least letting Scorpius try to help her. I love how respectful and understanding he is, asking if it's okay for him to sit on the bed. I'm also so happy that they finally decided to... you know... TELL SOMEONE. Harry knowing about it can only mean good things, I hope. Harry's in a tricky spot, though, not being able to tell Ron and Hermione about it. I really hope that Rose is eventually able to open up to her parents. I think it might help out with her healing process.

I'm really interested to see if they'll move to number 12!! I didn't see that coming, but I'm curious to see how they'd all react to living under the same roof.

Another great chapter!

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

 Report Review

Review #21, by kenpo Bombarda Maxima: Scorpius POV

10th July 2014:
OHmygod this was so intense too, and I just read it super fast because I wanted to get through it faster than I can actually read because I just want to know what happens and asdlfjaoeij. Pretty much. Just alsjdfaoe.

Okay, it would terrifying to be in this situation. For anyone. Rose is fighting, and it's so ridiculously hard on her, and then Al and Scorpius are trying to come to terms with everything (loved the tree scene, by the way), and I want them all to be better!

I feel so bad for them. I hope Al and Scorpius keep their cool.

I'm also glad that the girls are holding their own and doing what they need to do. I also think that they should probably make sure the Ministry knows what happened... or do they know? I'm foggy on the first 4 chapters or so...

UGH I really hope that Scorpius doesn't get too freaked out by how intense it is. I know that he says that he'll be there for her, but after going through this a few times it might weigh down on him too much! I hope not. It's good that Rose has so many people that care about her!

I'm just totally freaked out by this chapter and I feel so bad for them. I had to reread it to make sure I got everything.

This was so good. Lsjfadfj. I can't make words. I'm sorry if these reviews are really lame, because I'm trying to read as much as I can before I have to leave!!!

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

 Report Review

Review #22, by kenpo Besieged: Rose POV

10th July 2014:
YAAYYY I'M ALREADY IN LOVE WITH THIS CHAPTER AFTER JUST READING THE FIRST LINE.

Okay. Sorry. Let me read the rest of it and then I'll come freak out at you.

Mid-week socializing?!?! These kids are turning into riff-raff!

Sorry. They're cute. Back to reading!

I laughed at James' comment about Ron. I hope that Scorpius can handle the temper, too...

Whoa what I wasn't expecting that!

You wrote that section really well! You twisted reality and made the reader just as unsure of what was going on as Rose was, which sort of forces the reader to gain insight into how Rose feels. Does that make sense? My words have been broken today, but I'm trying to say that I really liked what you did.

I think this was a good chapter. It was intense, but you provided some variety so it wasn't all intense all the time. The beginning was adorable and it helped to balance the chapter out. Great job!

I'm running out of reviewing time, but I think I have time for the next chapter!!!

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

 Report Review

Review #23, by kenpo Better: Rose POV

10th July 2014:
Hello! Back again! (I don't know how many chapters I'll be able to get through... I just found of list of errands I need to run before work...)

I really like Uncle Harry and Rose! I do feel a little bit bad for Ron (but I am a huge Ron fan, so that's probably why), but I like what you've done with their relationship and how you portrayed them together. Particularly at the end!

Rose and Albus remind me a little bit of Harry and Hermione. I can see Hermione making Harry come back after a duel to be healed. I thought it was funny that Rose has put herself in charge of Al's health. Good cousin! She seems to be doing well in her training, as well.

Something that you did that I liked (which might've not been intentional, but whatever) was that by having Rose quote Ginny, you've also implied that Rose and Ginny have a close relationship. All of this closeness is making me all warm and fuzzy and yaaay for aunts and uncles!!

This was a short chapter, but I really liked it!

I'm still laughing at Rose yelling at Albus. "Are you limping? WHAT DID YOU DO LET ME HEAL YOU BECAUSE I'M A HEALER TRAINING HULKROSE"

Okay, she didn't turn into hulk-Rose, but whatever.

I don't know why, but in my head this story is animated. I don't think it's childish or anything, but... yeah, animated.

Great chapter!

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

 Report Review

Review #24, by kenpo Bitter: Scorpius POV

10th July 2014:
Hello! I thought I'd use the House Cup as an excuse to get caught up on some of the things I'd let slip... we'll see how many chapters I can get through before I have to leave for work! I actually had to go back skim the other chapters to remind myself where everyone was...

I loved this chapter! Seeing a Harry/Al duel from the POV of an onlooker was really interesting, and even though Scorpius already pointed it out, I liked that you gave them both distinct styles of dueling. Harry being able to say that Al was better than he was (at his age) was also good for showing that yes, Harry is much more mature than his son.

And Scorpius thinking about Rose was totally adorable and yaaay. Then Al was trying to be a good friend and ended up dueling his father. Such is life.

Graet chapter!

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

 Report Review

Review #25, by CambAngst Breakout: Rose POV

9th July 2014:
Hi, Beth! Back again for another awesome chapter. Even better, I will be claiming a valuable point for Gryffindor! Let's get the formalities out of the way, shall we?

House Cup 2014 Review

Now that we've taken care of that, I like the progress you made with Rose in this chapter. She seems like a new woman after finally giving in -- and convincing Scorpius to give in -- to the passion that's been growing between the two of them. She's getting all dolled up and going out to a crowded place. She's snogging Scorpius silly, both in private and in public. She's buying rounds, she's joking, she's laughing... just an all-around functional 20-something. It was beautiful to watch.

You did a good job of keeping her progress measured and realistic. She nearly has a panic attack in the pub, but with Scorpius's help she's able to pull back from the brink. He's so very good for her on so many levels.

All of Rose's cousins and friends were incredibly supportive, as well. You can feel how badly they want this for her, the recovery and the normality. They want her to be herself again, whole and full of life. That's the Weasley family written well!

One thing that I found a tiny bit odd was when you dipped into the fashion discussion with Selenia and Samara. There was nothing wrong with it, per se, just that you didn't do anything like that for any of the other characters. I remember reading it -- admittedly last night, so I wasn't at my sharpest -- and thinking, "what's the take-away here? Why is she emphasizing this?" Not a big deal, but it caught my overly-critical editor's eye.

Ha! Dom is awesome. And it appears that she can't hold her liquor very well. Either that, or she's had too much of it. Regardless, she has no problem shouting out what the others have probably realized and politely decided not to comment on. Good thing her boyfriend is there to rein her in just a bit.

Aww, Al is getting all sentimental on her. I like Al in this mode. It's much more fun and heart-warming to read than Al in Type A, brooding, overprotective jerk mode. Yes sirree, we are having a wonderful family night out. Love is in the air everywhere. Even the Auror mentees are getting in on it. What a great night for a...

DEATH EATER ATTACK!!! Aiieee! Everybody take cover!

Death Eaters have lousy timing, you know that? While the action here was fairly straightforward, it instantly sent my brain into detective overdrive. How did the Death Eaters know that Rose was going to be at the pub? Even Scorpius didn't know they were going to be there until just before they left home. I'm suddenly looking at everyone present with a very suspicious eye. Let's say for the sake of argument that we can rule out Rose's family, because god help us all if the Weasleys have been compromised. That would leave Selenia and Samara, who seem like unlikely candidates, Dom's boyfriend, the bartender lady and... well, Scorpius, himself. I rather doubt that Scorpius is plotting against Rose, but let's say for the sake of argument that his movements are being surreptitiously tracked. Perhaps by a long, lost relative. Hmmmnnn...

All guessing aside, you did a pretty good job with the fight scene. It was easy to visualize the chaos and the jets of light and hear the cracks of spells. Rose's panic and difficulty functioning also came through clearly. I was a little surprised that Albus would have sent her off to find Lily, given her mental state. She obviously wasn't in much of a position to take on the task, but I guess decisions get made in the heat of the moment. In spite of that, she's still worried about finding Dom and getting her out of there. I love the compassion and the way that she wants to protect her family, even if she's not really able.

And... you left us with a cliffhanger. That was mean of you, Beth! Very mean. I approve. ;)

I didn't see any typos or other problems with this chapter. It moved at a nice, fast pace and it was fun to read. Good job!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>