722 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lightinthedark52 Brewing: Rose POV

13th June 2016:
Hi,
I started reading your story yesterday and just
finished this chapter.
I love it all!

I'm not going to lie, I love fanfiction and admire
the talent of all the writers like anyone else, but
I do have many pet peeves when certain things don't
line up with Canon or the HP world.

You've done an excellent job of fully creating your
own unique and amazing story whole not altering the
world itself!

The characters, wow I love the characters! They all
are so likeable (or unlikable in some instances) yet
it's done without a feeling of "polished
perfection". They feel real! Like real people. They
have faults and strengths.

These last few chapters! When Selinia died I
literally put down my tablet, went to my boyfriend
for a hug explaining the nicest ever character in
the fanfiction I was reading died. I so didn't
expect that or see it coming. At all. Poor Albus! My
heart broke for him.

I think his reaction was realistic, although there's
no formulae to writing grief, the same where there's
not one to processing it in real life...not really
anyway. Rose and Ginny having to take him food. I
love that Ginny and Hermione kept coming around to
clean. I found their presence missing at the
beginning of the story too much, well Hermione at
least.

Albus being there for the baby's first movement was
so so so perfect the absolute perfect way to
transition him out of grief. I loved it! I didn't
even miss Scorpius in thay scene, in fact I think it
was more helpful that he wasn't there for Albus to
see the couple-ish vibe, remember the hopes for his
own future and get sad again.

As for the photographs, I don't know if I was the
only one but from the first mention of it in the
story I strongly suspected their identities. Then
when mentioned the wounds in more detail and that
the man's eyes were grey, I was absolutely sure. I'm
excited to see that plot unfold! So sad for Scorpius
again though, I expected him to eventually see the
pictures but I realy hoped it wouldn't happen.
That's just absolutely horrible that he's having
that experience.

I'm finding it suspicious how James girlfriend just
up and left. Also, I'm shocked so many family
members are working on Rose's case. I just kind of
thought that they'd find it more beneficial to let
strangers (and maybe ONE family, like Harry himself
as the head of Aurors) be involved as family or
close relations usually let emotions get in the way.
Which is happening all the time with these guys.
That's one of the only things I find unrealistic.
Sure the others would of wanted to be on the case
but at the end of the day the head Auror is in
charge and needs to enforce that and those under him
needs to know he's doing what is best for them all.

Also I kept thinking if I were Harry or Rose or
someone, only three people initially knew about the
baby. I would of let Rose disappear somewhere, leave
Europe if necessary and fall of the grid. Not tell
the press etc(I still don't understand why they had
to 'release' ANY info) but keep her in hiding
totally (and other close family if they had to) til
the baby was born and keep the baby a secret. Sure
Rose would have been giving up alone, especially in
pursuing her career but keeping the baby safe vs
career, there's not really a case there. So I was
shocked none of them suggested that/it's not what
happened. No complaints that it didn't though cuz
the plot is amazing, it was just me having one of
those reader's moments where you want to jump into
the screen and yell at the characters.

I noticed update gave been slower lately from your
author notes in chapters. The selfish side if me
just hopes you update ASAP and as frequently as
possible. The not selfish side is just so thankful
and happy you wrote this story, and hopes everything
is well with you.

I know that was kind of long, but it's been 41
chapters so I had a lot to review on! :)

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Review #2, by BellaLestrange87 Brewing: Rose POV

11th June 2016:
This is for the Blue vs Bronze review battle!

YOU UPLOADED ANOTHER CHAPTER YES THANK YOU THANK YOU (I need to finish the next chapter of Seek and Chase to thank you)

It makes me really happy to see that Rose is back to work and isn't beating herself up over the death of Selenia (*glare*). To be honest, I'd forgotten entirely about her medical records assignment. I'm hoping that it will lead into Stannous being caught and sent to prison for the rest of forever. *winks*

I'm really happy that Albus, like Rose, hasn't been torturing himself about Selenia's death. I'm glad that he's trying to get back to work so he can focus on catching Stannous.

But Scorpius. Beth, what are you doing to Scorpius? He seems really stressed out and anxious about everything. I just wish he could get a break.

What. The ending. What. I knew that Albus would find something but I was not expecting that. What. Draco and Astoria's bodies were placed so that they appeared to have died in a car accident? What. Why.

I must know why. New chapter? *offers cookies*

~Olivia

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Review #3, by Tonks1247 Brewing: Rose POV

7th June 2016:
ASDFGHJKL! BETH! THIS CHAPTER! ASDFGHJKL!

I have been waiting for this chapter for AGES! It starts to answer the really big question that has been bothering me for at least the last 10 chapters (okay, so maybe more like one of the many questions, but like, answers! Finally!). Honestly, you should have seen my freak out this morning when I finished reading the chapter. Almost embarrassing, to be honestÖ

So. Start of the chapter. Glad Rose is settling in to her new office and that Albus is back to work! Like, itís a big step for him and to see him back is amazing. His interest in the case study is also interesting. Love how Rose just kinda lets him go at it and gives him whatever he wants to keep him going with looking at this case.

Also love Rose talking to Scorpius. Like, have been waiting for them to chat about it and Scorpius to actually admit how much everything is affecting him. Itís good for Rose to reassure him and get him to talk, though Iím pretty sure with how this chapter endedÖwellÖheís not going to be in a good place. Especially based on the story he told and what Roseís case study says and the discrepancies that Albus pointed out with the lab results. Like, my heart is so broken for him and for Rose because I just know this isnít going to go well. The poor bloke has enough on his plate without this being dragged up and being a big mystery like thisÖ

That said, I am super interested in finding out more about this case and what all is going on/what all happened. I think I was ahead of the game back a couple chapters when I had the nasty feeling Roseís case study was related to Scorpiusí parents, but now I think itís just getting worse because I get this feeling Stannous is related into the entire situation as well. Like, just what doesnít need to happen, but I could totally see it. Totally makes sense. Canít wait to see where it goes.

I also have to laugh. My concern at the end of this chapter, besides Scorpiusí wellbeing at the discovery that Rose has been working on this case, is how Scorp didnít see the case study pictures or hear Rose talking about this case and put it together earlier xD

Anyways. Lovely chapter Beth! Quite enjoyed it! Canít wait for another chapter! :D

-Mikaela

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Review #4, by madness Brewing: Rose POV

7th June 2016:
OH MY GOD. Way to drop a bombshell there...

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Review #5, by Pheonix Potioneer Buildup: Scorpius POV

20th May 2016:
Just read the entire thing in one day, and it is brilliant! Keep up the great work!

Selenia's death was devestating! Never expected that.

So... I can't help but think that everyone is missing some big thing as to Stannous's intentions. For example, when he kidnapped Rose, I understand using crucio flagnate on her and releasing her to show that she is the girl in the prophecy. But if he thinks he is the father, why didn't he sexually assault her? Did he honestly care enough about Rose to wait until she was older? I don't understand it at all.

And then, when he came back two years later, he was really stupid. There were two other people there, just sleeping. If he really wanted to kidnap Rose again, he just needed to cast muffilato. He's not stupid- he successfully forged his Hogwarts application without anyone finding out, and he got past the wards to their apartment. So, I'm forced to conclude that the mistakes he made were actually deliberate. For example, when they attacked Rose and Scorpius at the hospital- clearly Stannous was smart enough to figure out that Rose was there, and which room she was in. But instead of going himself, he sent really low-key people. I know they said that Stannous was probably hoping to overwhelm them with numbers, but... come on. He had one shot at this. He shouldn't waste it.

So clearly Stannous is smart- and dumb. OR he is smart and plans these attacks to distract from someone else. Stannous has the best aurors trying to find him, so maybe he is trying to distract them from something else that might be going on. That's the only reason I can think of why he would be so stupid.

Speaking of the hospital, Rose's fall is also interesting. She trips over nothing (probably a trip jinx), falls and sees someone. Probably either Stannous or one of his lackeys. My guess is they hospitalized her in order to make it so she would forget her revelations about the case she was working on. She said she couldn't remember anything, so after Rose was unconscious he probably obliviated her. And then to cover up the noise of Rose falling her probably used muffilato, which is why James and the other people in the house didn't hear Rose fall.

And I don't think Selania died by mistake, with death eaters mistaking her for Rose. They look completely different! I think Selania was killed because she knew about Rose's revelations on the case. I think they killed Selania instead of Rose because it was easier, and it actually would have been harder to obliviate Selania since that would have to be done secretly. They could kill her openly. And of course, they didn't care to keep Selania alive. They need Rose alive because of the child.

And speaking of the case Rose was working on, we saw that the papers ended up back in the drawer- and we know that the papers were strewn all over the place when it fell. So that means that either James or another resident of the house put it away for her OR whoever insinuated Rose's fall, and who was working for Stannous, did it. My guess is the latter. But if they tripped Rose to make sure that she would never solve the case, then why wouldn't they steal the papers? Why would they leave it in the house? Unless they tripped Rose for an entirely different reason. Or that person is a member of a third party- someone else who knows about the prophecy, but isn't working for Stannous and has his own, independent motives.

But if we assume that the person who tripped Rose works for Stannous... then we have a HUGE problem. Actually, we have a huge problem either way. Because that person was standing in Grimmauld Place, and were not detected at all. That is BAD NEWS. That place is protected with a freaking Fidelius Charm! So if Stannous can get in there, then that is very very very bad. Of course, that does raise a bit if a mystery, because then wouldn't he just try to attack Rose there, instead of the hospital? My only explanation is that Stannous does not want to reveal that he can get into Grimmauld Place. I think he's saving that reveal for after Rose's child is born.

I think that part of Stannous's plan, now that Rose is pregnant, is that after the baby is born he will kidnap the child and raise it to be a dark wizard. After all, the prophecy says that the child will be super-powerful, so those with malicious intentions would probably want to use that child. If that is the case, then it's sort of like season 6 of Doctor Who: Amy is going to have a powerful timelord child, so she gets kidnapped by Madam Kovarian, she has the baby, and then the baby is kidnapped. So I feel like this is going to follow a similar plotline. And that makes me very scared for Rose, Scorpius, and their child.

So the events I am eagerly anticipating are:

a) Rose having her child. Hope it will be happy occasion and not riddled with negative situations (but it probably will). I also want to know whether the baby is a boy or girl. And can I just say that the current names they have chosen are terrible? I know, whole star constellation family tradition thing, but come on.

b) Rose possibly solving that case that she was SO close to finishing before she fell and lost her memory. I'm really curious as to why they were murdered, and who their names are.

c) Scorpius and Rose's wedding! I'm hoping, once again, that it will be an extremely happy occasion, and that death eaters don't show up (like they did during Bill and Fleur's wedding). But I doubt my wishes will be granted.

c) Finding out Stannous's endgame, even if it absolutely terrible. I just want to know.

Anyway, great story so far, and keep it up!

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Review #6, by Lee Jackson Broken: Rose POV

18th May 2016:
I absolutely love this! I also picture Al and Rose as Ravenclaws, and I'm glad to find another fic writer who agrees :D

I love where this is going, and you've definitely earned the Dobby for this one!

I also want to say: well done on creating an accurate and realistic portrayal of depression and panic attacks. I don't know whether or not you intended for Rose to come across as depressed, but what Rose said is true: the hardest thing for people with depression to accomplish is the Ďget upí part.

I think I've been looking for a story like this for a while.

Thank you.

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Review #7, by oldershouldknowbetter Breakable: Rose POV

9th May 2016:
Back again for some BvB.

Again you show, that when Rose is in her element - as in the healing/comforting of Lily - then she is brave and resolute and confident. It is an almost 180 degree from where she was, panicking and holding onto Lily not four or five paragraphs before.

Her Aunt is an old hand at this waiting game and comforts them both, you spell as much out later, but it is obvious here in her actions. Rose might denigrate her aunt's offer of tea, but it is precisely the sort of normality that Lily requires.

On a completely different note, and it's a funny thing to be mentioning here, but it is funny that I should read this chapter again now, because I am just writing one of my own where Ron is offering Draco (who is sitting in his kitchen) a cup of tea; for much the same reason as Ginny is offering her daughter one. It's just funny, coincidences sometimes. I cannot wait for you to read the chapter, but unfortunately it is one that occurs in Rose's sixth year and as such will not be posted for quite some time.

Anyway, back to your story, enough of my chatting off topic.

Rose gets angry and this is good. Gone is the girl of the beginning of this story who would have retreated further into her shell. She is angry where she should be too: with the Death Eaters; with the unfairness of it all; but especially with herself. Your readers are really seeing a Rose who is turning a corner in her life. She wanted to go out in the previous chapter, away from her home comfort zone, and in this one she is furious at herself for her inaction in the face of danger.

It is not her fortť, she shouldn't be that hard on herself, but she wants to break out of her chains of insecurity.

I like the training room that the Potters have in their cellar, I just might have to borrow that for my own story ... (if you don't mind that is). Though it does remind me of my own conceit, that Harry had his children and the cousins trained in defensive arts from a young age. I guess we see a certain thing about Harry - I don't think that he has ever forgotten the lesson of Constant Vigilance.

Ginny appears, after Rose has vented her frustrations. In the rest of this chapter we see a real bond that is developing between these two women. Rose and Ginny already had a strong Niece/Aunt relationship, but now it is morphing into a more adult one; especially with the shared burden of being in love with Aurors. And they both have double the worry: a son and husband for one, and a boyfriend and father for the other one.

Rose is clever. For all her faltering in the face of danger, which has it's legitimate origins, she is still highly intelligent and observant. The way she picks up upon the subtle hint her aunt drops - that Rose's mother may just understand her plight - is very well done.

Her mum coming along and hearing it all is a good storytelling technique. I am always impressed by your abilities with the tools of story construction. Her mum had to know, but to have it all told to her again would have been doubling up your writing. It's good stuff. As well, let me not trivialise it, as being good for the character of both Rose and her mum, as far as your story goes. It will bring the two of them closer together with the knowledge of the shared horrors that they each had to endure.

Rose finally acknowledges the efficacy of tea. Again, lovely story construction, as it is a turn around from earlier in the chapter.

Oh, one thing that I meant to mention earlier, is the little bits of spell work that you are creating in this story. It is a trap to start making lots of new spells and it's one you don't fall into. The way you add to the spells we already know, with advances/extras is a beautiful way around this pitfall. We already know the Reparo, but now you give us the Instar Reparo. And also with Rose having the miniaturised healer's bag. The other trick, which you also do, is to make any new spell something that doesn't stray too far from the unwritten rules of how JKR's magic works. All good stuff.

Scorpius reappears with a vicious wound, and 'Healer Rose' snaps into action again. And we also find out to our relief that everyone is OK, never minding a scrape or two. But Rose knows what to do, she will accompany Scorpius back to the Ministry and tend to the wounds of the Aurors - as she has done many times before. I know when she gets there, she will brook no argument as to her presence.

This is the aftermath of a chapter of action, but it doesn't feel any less dramatic for it. Probably because you choose not to reveal to us the fate of the Aurors left behind till the very end of the chapter. We are witnessing the birth of a new Rose, one who is breaking out of her shell, and ready to take on the world. I really like how this story is going and where it is headed.

Andrew,
Oldershouldknowbetter.

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Review #8, by oldershouldknowbetter Breakout: Rose POV

4th May 2016:
Hi there, tagging you back for the BvB.

Well we come to this chapter. In my reviews of the last few chapters, I've said that they were tidying up most of the strands of the first act of your story and setting up what we could all expect from the storyline to come. Well with this chapter the second act truly begins. We have a Rose and Scorpius who have stopped the dancing around each other and have declared their mutual love. We also know that we have two young people who are competent in their respective fields; more than competent really, they could shine and be truly great.

Thus do you set up your players ... and then you do this chapter to them.

Oh well, lets get into the review proper.

What makes the coming events even worse, is that it effectively destroys the fledgling steps that Rose is just beginning to take at the start of the chapter. In the last one she got the sudden idea to go out, she wanted to feel normal. Here we see her internal fortitude, what she thinks she lacks, coming to the fore; for example, is she about to have a panic attack - no, she controls it. Good for her.

Here is also where we start to get to know some of your supporting cast better. The story has been focused upon Rose and Scorpius primarily, which is where it had to be, but now that Rose's horizons are broadening, so too are the story's.

You introduce us to all of the people who are at the bar that night and with each one they all have a little bit of characterisation to go with them. The two exceptions are Selenia and Samara, no you give us extra with them. It is well done how you intertwine their physical descriptions with the description of the character of the two girls. We know Albus fairly well (though the hug which he gives Rose, reaffirms just how close the two of them are), and James too, it is good to now really come to terms with just whom their partners are.

Rose is so desperately trying to hide the gory details from everyone and largely it works. Even when she gives Scorpius a big smooch in front of everyone, it doesn't give it away. She diffuses her cousin's overprotective eye with a bit of throwing it back at him. I like the sass that you have brought out in this more confident Rose; when she feels comfortable and confident and happy, she can give as good as she gets.

You do at least give Rose a couple of hours of pleasure, of living life as a normal person might, before you drop the drama upon her. You even bring back into the story Astatine, having her work at the bar to support her meagre wages is a good device to do so, but I get the feeling (like me with Stephen) that you liked writing the character and so used any excuse to bring her back in.

And then Dom comes along. Ah, the character of Dom that you have already presented us with is one who is insightful but forthright, and she certainly shows it here. She immediately divines the secret that Rose wants to hide, and just as quickly blurts it out for everyone to hear. But Rose is relaxed and happy and more sanguine about the truth getting out than she was at the beginning of the night (and when she had less firewhiskey in her, may I also add).

You also have just a lovely scene with Albus. We see even more how close the two of them are, they will talk of things that neither of them would with any other. I do so like how you have Albus reaffirming how good the pair of Rose and Scorpius are together - how both of them have helped each other out of dark times. We know this, and Rose sort of knows this, but it harks back to the running theme that you had before, about how she was honest with everyone but herself. To have Albus straight out say it to her, she cannot deny it to herself any longer; she must accept that she is truly worthy of his love and it comes from more than mere attraction. A much deeper wellspring than that.

And that is when you drop Drama and Plot down upon our heads like a ton of bricks.

There is a disturbance in the club. The initial confusion when something like this happens you portray well, but then a glimpse through the crowd reveals, dum dum dah, Death Eaters.

You write the action very well. The confusion that the characters feel about what's going on and why, is never shared by your readers. The actions of all your cast are spot on in character, are all clearly delineated and come from a logical extrapolation from who they are.

Albus and Scorpius are competent and rise immediately to the challenge. But poor Rose, once again when confronted with a situation that is out of her comfort zone, fails at it. Her nerves get the better of her and she fails to preform the spells that she needs to. But within her comfort zone - that of caring for other people - she is still strong. She doesn't forget that not only is Lily not with them, she is probably alone. Rose will not leave the bar without her, against the protestations of Scorpius. Though he understands too and goes with her to find Lily, at the insistence of Albus (which will take on a greater importance in a chapter to come).

When they find Lily, Rose also finds out that the Death Eaters are here because of her. Though as she later points out, the 'Red' could have also applied to her. This we know will do a lot of harm to Rose's mental well-being. She will blame herself for every injury and death in the place, just because 'she felt like going out'. *sigh*

But again you show that whilst she is lousy in combat, she is great when she has to care for and protect someone - as she disappears from the bar and takes Lily with her.

A dramatic chapter, the true start of the second act of your story, filled with delicious characterisation and thrilling action. Well done.

Andrew,
Oldershouldknowbetter.

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Review #9, by Penelope Inkwell Bound by Love: Rose and Scorpius POV

27th April 2016:
AAAHHH I KNEW IT!

I mean, the hints were there. Probably most people guessed it. But still!

You know, I'm really glad that he proposed *before* finding out she was pregnant. It's such a cliche to propose just after, and it allows Rose to feel the full strength of his support, hopefully, as she faces this news.

Also, A++ to Scorpius for that proposal. Tossing a Seeker a ring instead of a Snitch, on the professional field of (what I think is) her favorite team? Ravenclaw colors? Just, very well done.

I'm also so glad he was finally insistent about her taking a look at her symptoms! We finally get down to the bottom of all this!

Man, that's gonna make Healer training hard. Of course, I suppose that's the least of her worries, what with the giant scary prophecy and all...

Oh gosh. Ron's gonna murder Scorpius. Just... murder.

CC:

ďJust dress warm and comfortable,Ē having won the debate, he hopped off the bed,grinning in self-satisfaction.
--Two things here: (1) I think "having" should probably begin a new sentence, rather than being attached to the dialogue. (2) there needs to be a space between the comma after bed and "grinning".


I cannot wait to see how this goes over with the fam. And what they're gonna think about the prophecy in light of these new developments. Oh boy.

--Penny

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Review #10, by Penelope Inkwell Bone Tired: Scorpius POV

27th April 2016:
Pregnant. She's sooo pregnant.

I was worried that she knew it and was pulling away. I can't totally tell, though. She seemed sincere. But she's also a Healer trainee. But then, I suppose, that happens. She's very caught up in this baby she sees as being part of a distant future; maybe the idea of having a baby right now is just so far out of the range of possibilities that she legitimately hasn't noticed. Or she could be in denial.

CC:

Rose had just started her most difficult round of courses and all us Auror trainees were gearing up for our S.N.A.K.E.s. (Specialized Normal Auror Knowledge Exams) there are two exams, one is written and one is a practical exam in defense, offense and ministry procedures for different situations.
--I think "there are two exams", should probably be the start of a new sentence, here.

or if we can become an entry-level Auror and work as full-fledged partner.
--it seems like this might read smoother if it were "and work as a full-fledged partner", with that "a" added in.

I was really glad that she likes the color blue.
--tense switch. I think it should be, "I was really glad that she liked the color blue."


Okay, off to the next chapter! There are so many realizations that could be happening any time now! I'm so eager to see how it all falls out!

--Penny

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Review #11, by Penelope Inkwell Baffled: Scorpius and Rose POV

27th April 2016:
Ugh. I had a whole long, well-thought out review written up here, and it just refreshed and lost it. So this might not be as coherent, but I'll try to get the main points down.

No! Poor Ruth. Murdered--I mean, just how sad. And Rose! Now Stannous is coming after the people she cares about? How on earth will she deal with that? Or *was* that what he was trying to do? I wonder if he tried to torture information out of Ruth. I don't know what sort of info she might have had, but she *was* Rose's therapist.

Okay, I'm just gonna call it--Rose is queasy. She's looking peaked. She's pregnant. Or, possibly, having a pregnancy square. With you, it could certainly go either way. But I'm thinking that this "who's the daddy" question could come to a head much sooner than anticipated. Of course, I guess it doesn't say that it's Rose's firstborn. Stannous could keep trying. Oh, ick.

It was interesting to finally get to see the prophecy. Come on, guys! Clearly this could refer to Scorpius! Come on!



CC:

The only people who have heard this, other than a few Department of Mysteries employees are the Aurors and trainees.
--I think there should be a comma after "employees" and before "are"


Have I mentioned my distrust of Samara. Of course, she *could* turn out to have (positive) hidden depths, but I just find her super suspicious. She's privy to a lot of sensitive information, and she doesn't come across as remotely trustworthy. *Problem*.

I'm so glad that Hermione is on the case! If anyone can figure out some of the details of this prophecy, it's her!

I just love this story so much! Even with all the drama, reading it takes me to this calm, happy place. I just really enjoy it.

--Penny

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Review #12, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Buildup: Scorpius POV

20th April 2016:
WELL IT IS ABOUT TIME I GOT HERE TO READ AND REVIEW THIS!!! I'm sorry it has taken me SO long, but I haven't forgotten! As soon as I saw that you'd updated I was SO excited, I wrote 'review ASLTW' on a notepad on my desktop, and it's been sitting there ever since! I hope my review can make up for the crazy amount of time it's taken me to get to it!!

First off, in a way I'm kind of relieved that it's been 3 months since the attack, because that means that Stannous hasn't been able to get to them for 3 months. But, at the same time, knowing how desperate he is, that's also 3 months for him to plan something completely horrid.. so it really makes me nervous. And then also, knowing that it's been 3 months means that Rose is getting REALLY far along now, so, if Stannous is going to try something else, he's probably going to do it soon... *looks from side to side with paranoia*

The replay of the events was just AMAZING and it really helped me to feel like a part of the investigation - I LOVE that! I feel like I'm caught up to speed with the characters as far as intel goes! But, being able to see in on that meeting has just given me SO MANY QUESTIONS, like if the death eaters realized that they'd got the wrong person... and HOW did they know Sels was in Diagon Alley? I mean COME ON! The fact that they immediately went after everyone else in the vicinity makes me think they DO realize they got the wrong target, and were hoping Rose was somewhere nearby hiding.. but still. I'm just so curious about what their goal was.. did they want to hurt the baby, kidnap Rose? Both? UGH so many questions! But I'm honestly kind of scared to know the answers!! :P

And then of course, poor Scorpius!! It broke my heart to see him so conflicted, fighting so hard to stay strong and focused, but he just can't keep it together. I can't blame him, and I know he's got to be really conflicted about all the emotions going through his head. Obviously he's very sad for losing Sels, but in a way I'm sure he's relieved that it wasn't Rose and the baby... but at the same time I'm pretty sure he feels guilty for thinking that way, as Sels was his friend... the poor guy! I'm so happy that Harry realized WHY he needed a break, and that he convinced him to go talk to Rose. I can't wait to see their conversation, because I'm sure that they can both make each other feel better, or at least I hope so.

Anyway, this was another really intriguing and also slightly nerve-wracking chapter, and I can't wait to see what happens next. Update soon please!! *Squish* ♥

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Review #13, by Penelope Inkwell Broomsticks and Breathing: Scorpius and Rose POV

18th April 2016:
I was so happy to see Rose have the opportunity to get out and have a little fun after all she's been through. A girls day with Selenia was just the thing!

All those little instances of seeing Ron were really cute, too. "Earlier he was pretending to smoke (Mum would kill him)" I loved that line. It's those details that keep us grounded in this world, and in the Weasley family.

"Iíd acted like a complete git, but Iíd been so upsetÖ"
--Scorpius is such a sweet little cinnamon role sometimes! Aww. I was so glad to see that he'd realized his mistake, and that for both him and Rose, being together was so much more important than the things that were drawing them apart.

That bit where Selenia nearly died because her boyfriend's father showed up to guard them coming out of a lingere store? BRILLIANT! That was hilarious!

I wonder if Ron really isn't that skilled at undercover work, or if it's really that he meant to be seen. After all, there's probably a whole cadre of undercover Aurors covering them, but it doesn't hurt for Rose to be reminded that someone's there, that she's still safe, even with the lifted restrictions. I know it doesn't seem to be bothering her, but a little reassurance doesn't hurt. Besides, it seems like they might want Stannous and Co. to know that Rose is being looked after. This isn't a trap with her as the bait--the last thing they want is an actual attack on her first weekend out. It probably isn't a bad idea to have some security--members of the Golden Trio, no less--right there out in the open.

Either way, though, Auror Ron was adorable :)


CC:

Hereí the salon
--Here's is missing an s after the apostrophe

This was a new Rose Weasley Ė professional healer andÖ girlfriend extraordinaire? The juryís still out on that one.
--the tense switches in the second sentence. This was the new Rose. The jury is still out. Might be better to change it to "the jury was".


It was so good to have some girl time and to just get Rose out of the house/hospital for a bit. I know Scorpius is a little adorkable, not recognizing her, but I also imagine she looks much better, and not just from the makeup. After months of just staying inside all the time, feeling trapped, constantly stressed, I bet a day out did absolute wonders for her.

I'm looking forward to hearing them talk through the matter, but I'm so glad that she and Scorpius were able to make up. Hopefully Al and Selenia will do the same. I'm thinking they will. ;)

Thanks for the chapter! It's always a pleasure!

--Penny

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Review #14, by Penelope Inkwell Baleful: Rose POV

18th April 2016:
Whew.

Well, first of all, I'm so glad that everything is finally out in the open, and that Rose is in a place where she can not only discuss her trauma openly, but also stand up for what she wants. Even better, what she wants isn't to hide away in fear for who knows how long, but to take back her life! Go Rose!

As to the prophecy, I think James said it best.

Poor Scorpius. He's plainly terrified. And I can understand that, too. He needs to consider Rose's quality of life, yeah, but he's so focused on making sure that she even has one. He's so, so afraid for her, and for them. And, I mean, this is a terrifying situation. There's a very powerful psycho fixated on Rose, intent on torturing and assaulting her. And I mean, that's the woman Scorpius loves. Not just that, but he feels an extra responsibility to protect her, because he's in law enforcement. Anyone would feel the need to protect a loved one, but I feel like in some ways it's harder for Scorpius, because it's his job combined with his personal life. If he were to be unable to stop Stannous--if he were to get to Rose again--I'm not sure there's any part of Scorpius that could ever forgive himself. Of course he's scared.

I am curious about Stannous' intentions. It's strange. I mean, obviously he's seriously messed up and wants to cause Rose pain. But...if he thinks he's the father of this child, why would he have exposed Rose to a curse that should have killed her? What is he trying to achieve?

I'm proud of Hermione for holding it together despite her own fear, to be a good example to Rose. It seemed like it helped her find courage. And Rose did an incredible job at insisting to have input in her own life. I'm so incredibly proud of her for insisting on being taught to fight!

It's strange--it seems like Rose is still in a bit of a daze, and that's not surprising. But it doesn't seem like she's realized that the child in question could also be hers and Scorpius'. I mean, obviously that's a lot of weight to put on a relatively new relationship, but it's a lot better than the alternative.

The idea of having to Obliviate your loved ones is horrible. That's the kind of thing that could tear apart a relationship, if they ever found out. However, Albus clearly is a stand up guy for only Obliviating what he had to, instead of taking the opportunity to make sure Selenia never remembered why she was angry with him.

It was good to see Rose and Albus making up. I really like that this fic isn't just about either the romance between her and Scorpius or the action/mystery, but it also involves friendship and family relationships. It makes it a much more complex story, and all the characters are so much more developed thanks to the focus you put on that.

I hope that Scorpius and Rose make up soon, and I'm so glad to see that she's getting out for a bit with Selenia. I am loving this story and--I know I've said it before, but I really mean it--I am SO glad to be reading it again!

--Penny

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Review #15, by Penelope Inkwell Bedlam: Scorpius and Rose POV

17th April 2016:
Man, this chapter is short, but dramatic! Bedlam is a good word for it. You just feel everyone's panic and fear and churning emotions, especially Rose and Scorpius. I mean, he's onscreen relatively little for this, but in that moment you just feel how terrified he's been, how much this hurts, so deeply, you know? I can completely understand why Rose isn't ready to deal with him, even though it makes me sad that she pushes him away. You do a great job of justifying all the characters, of getting us into their heads and understanding where they're all coming from.

CC:
I donít regularly visit their house
--this was shift in tense that seemed a bit odd, since the rest is all in past. Seems like it should be "didn't regularly visit".

some semblance of the normal life of a twenty year old.
--Didn't Rose just say earlier--maybe last chapter that her 21st birthday had passed?

Those were the only things I noticed. Wonderful as always! This chapter goes quickly, but it sets us up nicely for what I imagine is a lot of craziness to come. I absolutely have to read on and find out how all this goes down!

Did I mention how glad I am to be reading this fic again? I am SO glad!

--Penny

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Review #16, by Penelope Inkwell Boredom: Rose and Scorpius POV

17th April 2016:
BETH! I'm back! And ohmygosh I have missed this story!

Sorry it's been so long--I went on a hiatus that ended up being rather longer than I'd expected. But I'm so glad to be reading this again.


Am I the only one that thinks it's hilarious that a pregnancy test matches the exact shade of Scorpius' eyes?

Poor Rose! This is the problem with keeping things from the people you're trying to protect! She doesn't know how dangerous it really is for her out there. And really? For none of the Aurors to have cottoned onto the fact that she had major cabin fever--I mean, open your eyes, guys! They're so focused on keeping her safe that I think they've lost focus on keeping her well , which, given all she's been through, is an important consideration. I can't even really blame her for taking off--not that much. I mean, it was reckless and dangerous, but she was so stifled, and then there they were saying she didn't need to try to defend herself and "trust the system" when the system had failed her so badly already?

I know they mean well--that's so clear. They're just trying to protect her. But Selenia's right: they've really forgotten the bigger picture.

There was something I especially liked about the turnaround there, about how Scorpius is so quick to blame Selenia for saying the wrong thing, when really it's the Auror crowd who've upset her so much. It just feels like we're very much in his head when we're in his POV, and reminds us that not every narrator is always correct or reliable. It was good to see that bias.

CC:

I noticed this one thing: This was bad. Really bad. Rose doesnít even know how bad this was
--the tense switches right there. It's in past with the two "was"es, so "doesn't" should probably be "didn't".


I just can't say how glad I am to be reading this again! I've missed your fantastic story-telling!

--Penny

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Review #17, by kayleefrank Buildup: Scorpius POV

6th April 2016:
I just want to tell you I love this story! I usually don't read stories until they are finished because it gets really frustrating when they either abandon them or don't update them for 5 years, but I'm so glad I took a chance on this story. Keep up the great work! Can't wait for what you have next!

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Review #18, by kayleefrank Bone Tired: Scorpius POV

3rd April 2016:
Rose is pregnant! I'm like 90% sure! I figured the prophecy was about her and scorpious from the moment I read it. He's the son of a death eater! Can't wait to find out if I'm right. Your story is amaze balls!

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Review #19, by Tonks1247 Buildup: Scorpius POV

29th March 2016:
Beth! Iím sorry Iím such a slacker! I read this a day or two after you posted and have been busy/tired/lazy and havenít reviewed it yet! OH THE HORROR! HOW DARE I?!

*cough*

Sorry. Ignore that. Iíve been working nights and playing Quidditch all week and am over tired and weird. More so than normal.

Anyways.

I really wanna cuddle Scorpius. Like, he sounds like heís having such a hard time with everything thatís been going on and like heís taking on everything and putting this expectation on himself that he canít be sad or talk about how heís feeling because heís gotta be strong. And like, I can respect that, but the poor guyÖ.heís a walking disaster from the sounds of it. Heís living in his own head and thatís never a good thing. Because then heís spiralling into the Ďbut what if it was Roseí and thatís dangerous. Which is why itís probably really good that Harry said something. Because someone needs to shake him a bit and get him to speak and honestly Rose is more than capable of managing his stress and her own.

I do find the different perspectives Scorpius notices on the case interesting. The head healer, Aphis Lawrence is sort of obnoxious. Heís so rash about everything and even if the case wasnít so close to so many on the team, he could be a little moreÖdelicate about it? Then again, when youíre distanced from an event itís super easy to talk like thatÖ.And I also love how Dom is so easily focused on the case. Seems like sheís got that ability to compartmentalize, which is like, the greatest things ever. Helps her to focus. I think some of the others have that as well, although it seems like tensions are running so high because they canít figure anything out. Which adds to Scorpiusí anxiety and panic and itís actually a good description to show the break down heís facing if he doesnít let off some steam.

IíM ALSO SUPER BOTHERED BETH BECAUSE SCORPIUSí PARENTSí KITCHEN ACCIDENT IS PRESENT AND I WANT TO KNOW HOW THATíS RELATED TO EVERYTHING AND I STILL KNOW NOTHING. Or maybe Iím just being paranoid and it really is nothing just something that keeps sticking out to me. Or maybe itís not. :P

Overall, this was a lovely chapter. I was quite excited to see another one come out and I cannot wait for the next! Love seeing what happens and can only anxiously anticipate the things to comeÖ

-Mikaela

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Review #20, by TheEmotionalTeaspoon Buildup: Scorpius POV

28th March 2016:
Okay so first off, *eeep*, this ending was so sweet, I can't wait for Scorpius to go and have some well deserved cuddles with Rose.

Secondly, this review is long overdue, so it's probably going to be a bit lengthy, oops! I found this story a while ago and started flying through the chapters, every time I pressed next I thought to myself that I should stop to review and share the love but I was too selfish and just kept reading haha.

Now that I've had a bit of time to recover from the awesomeness... one of the biggest things that stands out to me about this story is the little hints you've been placing in previous chapters. There were a few I picked up early on and secretly felt really proud of myself for guessing, and a few I really didn't expect; like the prophecy! It's really inspiring how addictive you've made this story, especially through keeping everyone guessing and weaving different plotlines together. It must be hard to think it all out and make sure you drop the right details into the right chapters. I've been trying to plan out something like that and it's made me realize how much thought needs to go into it!

Another great thing that stands out is the way you write the whole Weasley/Potter clan. I'm always impressed at how a really good next-gen writer is able to keep track of all the different family members, and give them all such dynamic personalities. I think you do that really well. I also love how you've written Scorpius, especially when you touched on his past and the way Draco dealt with everything, post war. (Also, oh gosh his parents deaths, eek when will Rose pick that file back up?)

Something else I think you do really well is the hurt and comfort aspect of the story. It's so nerve wracking to watch everybody deal with their emotions in the face of everything that happens, and each person responds in such a different way. I think that's sign of really good, three dimensional character writing. The way that Rose and Scorpius also drift apart and back together again when tackling their issues is also really great; sometimes I think it's easy to fall into the trap of concluding a story with a couple finally 'getting together', but you show that relationships are an ongoing lovestory :)

Anyway, thanks so much for writing this, it's been so much fun to read so far! I'll be looking out for updates.

Kate

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Review #21, by Cheeky Monkey Buildup: Scorpius POV

27th March 2016:
Enjoying your story :) looking forward to the next update!

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Review #22, by Avanell 2 Bent: Rose POV

25th March 2016:
And I was #69 for chapter 1! That's my birth year ;) Very interesting party. Scorpius is so sweet! Of course, lol. Love it! :D

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Review #23, by Avanell 2 Broken: Rose POV

25th March 2016:
Interesting start to this story...it took the lure of being (hopefully) reviewer 700 to check it out. I've been tempted before...now will definitely read more :)

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Review #24, by CambAngst Buildup: Scorpius POV

25th March 2016:
Hi, Beth!

I have a new prime suspect. Healer Lawrence sure knows a lot about dark curses. He speaks lovingly about them, kind of like Barty, Jr. impersonating Mad-Eye Moody in Goblet of Fire. Or maybe that's what you want me to think. You're very sneaky!

Keeping the team small had its pros and cons. -- Not to nit-pick overly, but Scorpius doesn't seem to see any cons here, only pros.

Harry is a dab hand with those crime scene diagram charms. Seems like a guy who's had to do this far too often. :(

Nearly three months had passed and I still didnít know how exactly to feel about that. - Poor guy. I doubt he'll ever know. There's no right way to feel about something like that.

For someone who's just there to lend expertise on the dark curses, Healer Lawrence took a lot of interest in Ron's assessment of the Death Eaters' tactics. Again, suspicious...

From the glint in his eye, it almost seemed like he got a sick sense of pleasure from simply talking about these horrible magical creations. -- Yep, very suspicious.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, it registered that Iíd taken a direct hit to the heart with violenti totalis and survived, but another, much, much more pressing question rose in my throat. -- There's that prophecy-based resistance to curses rearing its head again. Seems that there's something special about both Rose and Scorpius.

Harry really comes through for Scorpius in the end. I like the way you balance Harry in this chapter. He's serious about his responsibilities, but also human.

Cool chapter! I'm looking forward to the chapter where Stannous kills Healer Lawrence so I can be wrong about him, too. :p

-Dan

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Review #25, by Wonder Wall Betrothed: Rose POV

22nd March 2016:
Okay no Ron and Hermione aren't happy Scorpius is the father. They wouldn't be happy that anyone is the father because both its childish and irresponsible for Rose to be pregnant before she's married and particularly given the circumstances.

Secondly he is a Malfoy. His family has been wrapped in the Dark Arts for generations and their house and half their belongings might be dangerous to Rose and her baby. I know a lot of authors try to make light of all of the crimes Draco committed and like to pretend he didn't have any choices even though he clear had multiple ones and one of the whole points of the book is that its our choices that make us who we are.

Its true they might like him as an individual but neither Ron or Hermione would be happy the father of their child has ties to the evil that is the Malfoy family.

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