Reading Reviews for Back to Life
  
23 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Narcissamalfoy394 No use crying over spilled ink

15th July 2014:
I'm loving it. I think I know who the " old friend " is but not sure.

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Review #2, by songbird0345 The End of an Era

4th December 2013:
More Draco/Hermione AND Harry/Ginny. Make it as long as possible! The I LOVE long stories I want to be kept guessing but with as much detail as possible (you know, that you can give us with the plot and such) But still! I can easily see this 11 chapter story become into a 40 chapter book. But thats just me. It was fantastic regardless!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your input! I have so much more in my head to go still on this story, trouble is getting it all written... More updates coming soon on the sequel. Thanks again for reading and for reviewing!!!

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Review #3, by S The End of an Era

29th November 2013:
more draco/hermione :)

Author's Response: Will do! Thanks for the review and thanks for reading!

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Review #4, by Nuzhat Prologue

27th November 2013:
Looking forward to it, the prologue is convincing (:
And I have a feeling that I'm gonna love this one :D
(And this is my first ever review, I'm not even a member)

Author's Response: Awe! That is so sweet! I really hope you enjoy it!!

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Review #5, by Katie No use crying over spilled ink

26th November 2013:
Cho's older too. Stick to canon, dear! It's a bit confusing for us.

You spelled Australia wrong the first time. Ans just some missing commas and stuff. Sorry, I'm a huge grammar stickler.

Cheers!

Author's Response: Not going to be able to change this one, as it would affect the story way down the road. So let's pretend this is AU for this fact.

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Review #6, by Katie Head Boy and Head Girl

26th November 2013:
Katie Bell would've left Hogwarts already. She's older than they are.

Also, your sentence structure's a bit off. The characters keep saying "I am" instead of "I'm". It doesn't sound natural.

Very good otherwise! Cheers!

Author's Response: I can probably change this one. Thanks for the review!

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Review #7, by Katie Prologue

26th November 2013:
You might want to edit again. You used the wrong "to" towards the middle. TOO, not TO.

Cheers! Very well done!

Author's Response: I will look at that again thanks!

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Review #8, by patronus_charm Prologue

19th November 2013:
Hello there, I’m here with your review! I have to say for your first fan fiction it is rather impressive as mine wasn’t nearly as good!

You asked me to focus on grammar issues and the biggest one here is your grammar in regards to punctuation when there’s dialogue. Here for example ‘Who could be owling me at this time of the morning”, he thought to himself.’ The grammar is nearly correct you just need to place the comma inside of the speech marks rather than outside. But here ‘“I hear not many from our year are returning.” Harry said aloud,’ as ‘harry said aloud’ is a dialogue tag meaning part of the dialogue the punctuation must represent that accordingly and to do that you would place a comma rather than a full stop after returning.

Then finally here “Oculus Reparo” Hermione had shown her skill’ as Hermione showing her skill is not related to what she said (as in a dialogue tag – said/cried/whispered) it has to be represented in punctuation with a full stop after reparo. I hope this makes some sense to you and if it doesn’t feel free to PM me for further explanation or look at some of the tutorials on the forums as they’re really useful.

I have to say I really liked Hermione’s characterisation in this story. In lots of Draco and Hermione stories she’s very OOC which bothers me a lot, but here she’s handing out their homework timetables with the joy you would expect to her which was great. Then I liked the twist of Harry and Ron coming back too and I wonder how that will mix things up.

I did find you ellipses a little too much in this story so it rather began to lose its effect, so if you try and refrain from using them a little more it might be a good idea. The same goes for the longer paragraphs as it meant that I lost my concentration after a while, so perhaps if you spilt them up into smaller ones it would be better.

I would like to see a little more description such as what they look like, facial expressions, how they move, carriage interior, but then again, this is only your first story which is already really impressive so I can’t wait to see some of your work in a month’s time because I can tell that you’ll improve a lot in that time!

I hope you find some use in this review!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Yes , I totally see what you mean. Thank you thank you!! I will continue to work on the details. You have been very helpful.

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Review #9, by SkyEcho Prologue

14th November 2013:
Hi P0tter fan! I'm here with your requested review. I like that you have everyone coming back to Hogwarts. For me, it did feel a little choppy to jump from one person's perspective to another's so quickly. But that might be because this was the Prologue. I liked that you included the letter Blaise sent Draco and let us "see" it rather than just describing what it said. I also thought you did a good job capturing Hermione's personality. I laughed at how she had already created planners for everyone!
In some places your quotation marks are slightly off and you are missing some punctuation. Some spots I noticed this are when Ron says "...and any job we want!" and when Harry says "But, the school year hasn't even begun Hermione." Maybe putting in a request for a Beta reader would help smooth these things over.
I can imagine the fears Mrs. Weasley would have watching them all go back to Hogwarts so it was nice to see that you included that.
Great start! I hope some of my comments were helpful to you :)

Author's Response: Yes, very helpful. Thank you!!

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Review #10, by molly jackson The End of an Era

20th October 2013:
Best story i ever read and it was finished too most of the stories on this site are not they leave you hanging of a cliff

Author's Response: That means so much to me! Thank you! I hope you will enjoy the next part of their story as well!! Thanks again for reading!

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Review #11, by molly jackson Time in St. Mungo's

20th October 2013:
Omg its so sad hermoine forgets about draco

Author's Response: I know :( thanks soo much for reading and for reviewing!!

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Review #12, by molly jackson McGonagall's news

20th October 2013:
Wow dracos nice to house elves?

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Review #13, by molly jackson McGonagall's news

20th October 2013:
Wow dracos nice to house elves?

Author's Response: I just didn't think Hermione would approve if he wasn't...

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Review #14, by molly jackson The Halloween Ball

20th October 2013:
Oh this chaptar is so romantic

Author's Response: Thanks! I am so glad you enjoyed it!

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Review #15, by molly jackson Losing Control

20th October 2013:
I love this chapter its halarius

Author's Response: It was a fun one to write for sure!

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Review #16, by Meuba Time in St. Mungo's

7th October 2013:
Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: coming soon! Thanks so much for reading!!

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Review #17, by Perdaha_Obssesed The Battle at Malfoy Manor

4th October 2013:
O my GOD please tell me she hasn't lost her memory or at least she will recover. I love this plot it is just AMAZING!!!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I think you will be pleased with the outcome :)

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Review #18, by Perdaha_Obssesed Losing Control

4th October 2013:
I think the letter has something to do with Bellatrix, maybe her husband??

Anyway. The story is amazing. I love The new Draco... and the new Hermione... Please keep writing??

Author's Response: Thank you for reading my story! More chapters coming soon.

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Review #19, by Chicken pox Losing Control

27th September 2013:
Good it's like a cliff hanger. What's going to happen next !!!

Author's Response: The answer will be up soon...

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Review #20, by Malena The Halloween Ball

24th September 2013:
Amayzing!!! Ahh, I can't even say anything else! Keep going though!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Another chapter is up for approval now. :)

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Review #21, by Chicken pox No use crying over spilled ink

18th September 2013:
Very good I like it

Author's Response: Thanks :) more coming soon

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Review #22, by Chinken pox Head Boy and Head Girl

15th September 2013:
Great story get some more posted

Author's Response: another chapter should be up later today

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Review #23, by Chicken pox Prologue

15th September 2013:
This is the best fan fiction I've ever read

Author's Response: Thank you :)

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