Reading Reviews for Angular Cuts
  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lostmyheart Angular Cuts

9th April 2014:
Hi Kiana!

I love reading stories that include Pansy, or has her as the main character. I really liked your version of Pansy in this story, it was VERY different from anything I've read before. And different is good!

If you really wrote this while you were half-asleep, then I think that I have to read all of your stories! You're extremely talented, the details you give are brilliant.

it was interesting to see her change like that during the story. When she smoke she seemed a little confident, she wanted to be a rebel and then later she's crying, for nobody is coming after her. Poor Pansy...

Loved reading this!

Big hug,
Avi

Author's Response: Hey Avi!

Whoo, I'm so glad you liked it, as I never was much of a Pansy fan until writing this but it's definitely made me want to explore her character again! Lol, yeah, it seems my best creations happen then for some unknown reason, but thank you!!! :D

I know, she's so lost and alone in this you just want to hug her and save her from the world which seems to be much to big for her if that makes any sense at all.

Thanks for such a fab review, Avi!

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #2, by UnluckyStar57 Angular Cuts

7th January 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the Twelfth Day of the Twelve Days of Reviewing. :)

I loved this look at post-war Pansy Parkinson. It is obvious that the war treated her very badly--and it was no less than she deserved, calling out in the Great Hall against Harry Potter. But here, she is so vulnerable to the pressures of the world around her. Her edges, as she says, are jagged. She is broken and nothing will save her.

Pansy is a confused person. She loved Draco, but he left her. She was loyal to the beliefs of Slytherin House, and now Slytherins are probably looked down upon. She is supposed to be a grown-up, but she never had a chance to grow up. That's why this portrait of Pansy is so wonderful--I can see how desperate she is to know what she needs to do with her life, but she just can't see any way out of her situation.

This was written very beautifully. I really enjoyed reading it. Happy Twelve Days of Reviewing! :)

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hi there!

I'm so glad that you liked the different look and feel to her about her because I think in a way it was good for her because it allowed her to re-evaluate her life and hopefully for the better so she can maybe save herself.

I'm really glad that you picked up on the confusion as well as her fear of the future because not that many people did. She really is a desperate person but then everything she clinged onto has left her now, so it's no wonder she was like that.

Thank you for such an amazing review, I'm glad you liked it so much!

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #3, by MissesWeasley123 Angular Cuts

7th January 2014:
Kiana! ♥ This is for day 12 of the 12 Days of reviewing! I can't believe we're done, but am so glad too haha!

Everything I read of yours is always so different,and again it's amazing how you can go and write something like Into Oblivion, which is heartbreak, and then The Art of Small Talk which is humour and fluff, to something so angsty like this, which is obviously so different from something like Snapshots.

Never liked Pansy, never have, never will. But at least for a while I felt bad for her -- this could also be because of Sherlock leaving the wedding all alone at the end WHICH WAS SO SAD, AND I AM ABOUT TO CRY AH.

*group hug with Benedict and Pansy*

Ahem. But wow, you did Pansy amazingly. I truly loved it. The little things that made her as a whole, the sadness inside her and the pain that had engulfed her was just so sad, but so well written.

I thought this line was great specifically: The one thing she knows, however, is that waiting won't help any more. No one will come for her. Not her mother, not her father, not Draco. She knows that the only thing that the cigarettes and the make-up are hiding her from is the person most unknown to her, herself. Nothing more. Nothing less.

That paragraph was just - wow. I think it's really important to understand sometimes, that the rest of the world doesn't matter, and that at the end it's you, and the choices you have made, and the things you have done, and Pansy has always been cruel, so though I do feel sorry for her, she basically has shot herself in the foot. Bleck.

The way you examined her physical features was amazing, the constant reminder of the angled parts of her face. That was some beautiful imagery.

Great work Kiana!

Author's Response: I'm so glad too because that was a very tiring experience and I didn't even do all the days :P

Haha, different is probably a very good way of describing my work :P I'm so glad that you liked it all though, because you've probably read the most of it out of anyone so hearing that you still want to read more is fantastic!

I WANT TO CRY TOO, FOR HER AND SHERLOCK/BENEDICT. They're both so alone and misunderstood but in a way want to be loved but there is no one there because everyone else has their own life and they have a strange amount of similarities between them too!

I'm so glad that you liked Pansy, because before writing this I never liked her either, but this made me view her in another light and perhaps a more hopeful one where I can understand her actions and sympathise with her a little more.

I know, it's rather scary that's it's all down to yourself, because once you go wrong and the people leave you it's you who has to decide whether to pull yourself up again or stay sitting down.

Gah, thank you for this wonderful review, Nadia! I always feel as if I never express my thanks as much as I mean it, but THANK YOU!

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #4, by Fairly Fairest Fairy of Fun Angular Cuts

23rd December 2013:
Wow. That is all I can say. Pansy has always had a special place in my heart because of everything I'm sure she had to endure as the child of a death eater, and a pretty one at that, so she's got all kinds of scars, both physically and emotionally. Really, just stellar writing overall!

You wrote this while you were half-asleep?? Right, right. Well, even if it was written that way, then I applaud you! I could never write something this deep and convincingly depressing in such a state as that! The descriptions and imagery are perfection and really let the reader create the image you want us to see in our heads of Pansy knowing her life has no meaning now and she's simply trying to run away from that.

The canon bits with her and Draco's complicated relationship and her mother disappearing and her father obviously in Azkaban help cement the idea she's not cared for anymore by anyone. Ahhh, I could go on for days about this but I wont to save your time and sanity! Toodle doo for now! :)

Author's Response: Well, wow is pretty cool, so I'd be happy with that :P I never really thought of her before despite going through so much, but since writing this, she's really formed a place in my heart, because like you said she's so scarred.

Haha, yes! Thanks for the wonderful compliments though because it really means so much to me. I'm really glad that you liked the description and imagery because this was a new stage of my writing style so I was always scared of making it :P

I'm glad that you liked the canon bits, because I felt they were important to include to really feel her. Haha, it's fine if you wanted to, but thanks for this amazing review Santa :D

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #5, by LilyLou Angular Cuts

26th November 2013:
Kiana, here with our review swap!

This is a magnificent one shot! I love the short sentences that were very meaningful. That's how I like to write, as well. You explained everything so wonderfully, I felt as though I could see Pansy and all her Angular Cuts. You gave us a little insight on her personal life as well, not just the war itself, and I liked that. The mentioning of her mother, father and Draco, that is. You created a perfect cloud of depression in your writing. I could feel her pain with your words, and again, absolutely magnificent.

Well done on your placing of Second Runner-Up in Lululuna's Unexpected Voice Challenge! I participated as well in that :)

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hey there Janelle!

I'm glad you liked the short sentences, because I think I've finally developed a style and they're part of it. I'm so glad you liked the explanation to Pansy's life though, because I was worried that it had been a little too ambiguous and vague but you've calmed that!

Thanks for such a great review! I read your entry for the challenge too, and really enjoyed it! ♥

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #6, by marauderfan Angular Cuts

26th November 2013:
Hi :)

This was a really wonderful story, Kiana! I love the way you've explored Pansy's dark side - and I mean the darker side than the side that we saw in the books, the girl who made fun of Gryffindors and spread gossip.

I loved the way you characterised her. Before the war I could see her as the type of girl who is mean to people just because she likes the attention. She always seemed so incredibly shallow and fake, and I like that you've taken that fake part of her and really expanded on it after the war. Sure, she can still put on a mask, but what's the point now? Where did it get her during school? I think the war had a lot of effects on people and this feeling of lost-ness (I just made that a word) really seemed to suit Pansy so well, as sad as it is.

I like the back story you gave her too - poor girl, having her mother leave. So she goes back to what is familiar, putting on a mask, but after everything she went through it's not enough anymore.

I don't think my review is even making sense anymore :p But basically, I love the way you've written Pansy - it's beautifully tragic. Your placing in the challenge was well deserved, great job on this!

Author's Response: Kristin! You have been spoiling me recently :D

I'm so glad that you liked the exploration of her dark side as it was so much to peel back her layers. I liked your comments on her fakery, because I often find that fake people are the ones hiding the most things, like with the mask and like with Pansy. It's also helped with me trying to judge fake people in a nicer light.

I'm glad that you liked the back story because I always have the feeling that pureblood families do have a tendency to just get up and leave like that.

The review does make sense so don't worry about that! Thank you for such a wonderful review, it really brightened my day, you definitely deserved your placing too!

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #7, by SilentConfession Angular Cuts

25th October 2013:
Hey, I'm here for that's final review you won for my challenge. I'm so pleased that I picked this story to read. It's so good and I love how you've explored pansy post war. It is so very bleak and she has absolutely nothing left in her life. Her family deserted her and she only has the empty house for company.

I really liked how you portrayed her and how she knew that's Draco wouldn't be coming for her. I suppose we get this image from her that she actually believes that Draco likes her back, but you've made it clear here she has no illusions of that. She's very centered in reality with that, but there is also a sense that she's lost all connections to reality as well. If that makes sense anyway. This was a new way to look at her though and thought you did a good job at balancing it all out. It didn't seem too angsty, but it was enough to feel how she's lost hope for herself and the world. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

I liked the imagery of the angular cuts as well. I thought that really captured the sense if brokenness that pansy was feeling. I also liked how it came up a few times throughout the story so we really feel the jaggedness of her very existence. It is like she is only part of a person, sort of like Frankenstein who's been smashed together but not truly human.

The writing of this is really smooth too. You did such a great job of capturing her emotions and writing that in a clear and concise way. I guess what I'm meaning to say is that your flow and pace for this was done inpecably and it made it a joy to read. The only CC that I could give with this is that although you did a wonderful job getting into her state of mind and the description of that was phenomenal, it would have been nice to place her somewhere so we could see the actions she's making or what her environment looks like. All we know is that she's at her house, but if there was that little bit extra description it would make the story really bounce out and seem a bit more active.

This was a really good piece though and I'm really happy to have read this.
Sorry for how long it took to get you the review and if there is spelling or grammar issues as I've written it up on my phone. :)

Author's Response: Sorry for the late reply, I've been away until today!

I'm glad that you liked my portrayal of her and Draco because that pairing has always intrigued me. We always got hints from JK but no one ever really knew what happened between them and then suddenly Astoria appears so exploring it here was really fun. I'm glad that you didn't find it too angsty, because I always feel that Pansy has a lot of pride and probably wouldn't to pity herself too much even though it's hard not to.

I was worried about how I toed the line in regards to the use of Angular Cuts so I'm glad that you thought it was alright. The Frankenstein suggestion is really great now I thing about it as she always has to keep on changing herself and never really keeping her true form as she's being moulded by others.

I'm glad that you found that the writing was smooth, because I did have a few issues with it earlier on so I've been working at it to improve it. Reading your CC though, I feel like such an idiot for not including any! Now you mentioned it it seems like perfect sense to have included it so I don't know why I didn't, I'll edit in some after this!

Thank you for this wonderful review, and I'm so glad that you liked it so much!

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #8, by randomwriter Angular Cuts

19th October 2013:
Hi Kiana :) I'm here for our swap! I usually never get reviews done fast, so this is a first! :)

Your Author's Page left me confused because you asked me to pick whatever I'd like to read. There were so many stories I wanted to and I shall add them to my reading list :) The reason I picked this one over the others was that I have never read a story about Pansy before. She's one of those characters that we all put down as irritating and one-dimensional. I was curious to see how you'd built up on that. The second reason I picked this is because the title was really intriguing. It made me want to know more.

I loved your take on Pansy. Through this intense, but short character study, you've been able to bring out so much of her. In a way, you've justified how she is portrayed in the books. You've spoken about her background in the slightest of ways and that might have been a very good reason for the way she turned out. Another thing you did beautifully was bringing out Pansy's identity which manifests itself as more of a non-identity. She is an amalgamation of what people expect her to be. She hasn't ever found her individuality and she isn't her own person. You've written this part of her personality really well.

I love your title, as I mentioned and I love how you've wielded it in the story itself. You've used the title to provide a sort of a backdrop to your entire story, which worked very well here. It lent the piece an almost poetic or rhythmic feel and it was written so well.

There were many powerful sentences or paragraphs in this one-shot that really caught my eye. I cannot possibly list them all (I might end up listing the whole story!), but here are a few I particularly enjoyed. They conveyed a lot more than just the surface meaning.

"At times, she wonders whether her life is an act, a play, a scene laid out for others to enjoy while she can hide from herself. "

"A child playing with life, a child playing with playing. All her actions have been without cause or reason; they were just a game. A game which has to end now she acknowledges the truth of it all. The truth she still tries to deny.

"She knows that the only thing that the cigarettes and the make-up are hiding her from is the person most unknown to her, herself. Nothing more. Nothing less."

And the entire last two paras. They tied up this one-shot really well and I think you did a good job with the ending. One thing I would suggest is to have a single sentence in the end that brings out her pain and angst in a final and definitive manner, but that's just a suggestion. This story is brilliant as it is and I'm glad I picked it. There's so much depth and beauty to it and for the first time ever, I feel like there's more to Pansy than meets the eye! :)

Author's Response: Haha, maybe I should have picked one for you then? :P I'm glad you chose this one though, because I thought the same until I wrote this one-shot and now it's making me desperate to have more information about her and see what she was actually like!

*blushes* I'm so glad that you liked my characterisation of her as I was little worried it might have been too OOC or something like that. You picked up on exactly what I was trying to do because a lot of her behaviour did seem to be rather showy in the book, so it made me wonder whether it was all real or not. Then it sort of evolved into her never really being herself.

I have to admit, it was in the story first and then I chose it as the title, but I'm glad you liked it still! It was poetic though? *blushes again* You're being too nice to me here, and I feel this response is inadequate with it's ramblings.

Yes, I don't think the review box quite stretches into fitting the whole story into it :P I'm really glad you picked out those lines though, as they sort of showed her whole idea of acting and not being true. She does turn out to be a rather helpless person by the end of it.

I'll definitely go and review the last sentence, and see if I can make it angstier (is that a word?) so thanks for pointing it out! Thank you for such a wonderful review, it really, really did make my day, and I hope Pansy's got a new fan now!

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #9, by Remus Angular Cuts

12th October 2013:
Heya! Perelandra here with your review! So sorry that I've taken forever to get here. Life and all. :S I'm here, though, and that's what matters, right? XD

I chose this one because its very rare to find a piece that's about Pansy without her being a stuck-up student, obsessed with Draco and just being...well, Pansy. JKR has mention that she hated Pansy so that's why we've never seen her in a different light.

You, on the other hand, have managed to definitely to capture a Pansy that's just downright terrified of being alone, a failure and that's just heart breaking. Your story gave me a glimpse of her past: a dotting mother and father, dinner parties, the center of attention. But after the war "poof" it was gone and now all of that is gone. The fact that her mother just up and left without her was so sad!

When she starts to put on the make up, all I could picture was this girl with smeared make-up, looking crazy and almost clown-ish.

She doesn't know what 'mask' to put on or what role to play. She's this empty shell that's just waiting to become the worshiped Pansy. I could only imagine what would have happened to her when she found out that Draco married Astoria.

The end, however, was beautiful. Almost poetic. It left me wanting to hug the poor child.

So overall this was a beautiful fic about a broken character. :( I guess the only CC I have is that I wished it were longer, haha. But oh well. Thank you for letting me read this one-shot!

Until next time
--Rosie

Author's Response: Hi Rosie! Of course it's the main thing, and it's just so nice of you to do this you needn't worry about that!

I know what you mean about it being hard to find something when she's the person we all hate, so that's why when I saw the challenge I knew I had to try and make her seem niceish!

I'm so glad that you liked the different light I put in her though as it was so much fun to do. I had never really thought much about the drastic change of life, but it is so true, and so horrible in a way too because you can never predict when it will happen to you either.

Haha, that's what I picture too! It was my sort of way of trying to tie in the whole acting/life on a stage theme so let's just hope she had her calm mask on when she found out about that.

I'm so glad that you liked this story, and thank you so much for all these wonderful compliments! Maybe I'll do a spin-off one day!

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #10, by quixotic Angular Cuts

4th October 2013:
And here's another review!

You really have a talent in writing one-shots. That's one talent which I have grown to envy you of ;)

Pansy is one of those characters JK hasn't really expanded upon. She comes across in the books as a typical, shallow rich kid who has no clue what the world is really all about. The war was like a wake up call when everything she knew and related to was dead or holed up in Azkaban.

Although Pansy is already an antagonist, you seem to have given her a dark side which she didn't seem to possess earlier. For some strange reason, I pictured the entire story in black and white, except for the lipstick part. Everything about the story was... angular (for lack of a better word). It portrays Pansy in an angle we haven't seen before. She's no longer the oblivious school girl we once knew. She's dry, sharp and has no good expectations of anything.

Yet she craves for the attention she once had. She's like an actress with a desperate need for a role to play. Her current one, as you put it, is the rebel and just like that she creates a whole new image. It's like a game of pretend, trying to find out what mould she wants to fit today. Wow.

Sorry for making you read through all this rant. This story is such an amazingly written piece. It's hard to believe that one idea can evolve into something as great as this.

Author's Response: Hey again! Thanks again for such lovely compliments!

I know what you mean about her and for that reason she's always caught my interest due to her being relatively unknown, so when I saw the challenge I knew this would be a great excuse to delve into her mind!

Hahahahaha, that made me laugh so much because I imagine it in black and white too hence me making the banner like that! I'm so glad that you found that the angular theme continued throughout the story as it was much fun to include.

You really analysed her perfectly! Well, analysed her in the way I wanted her to be portrayed which made me insanely happy as I had received conflicting bits on advice on her characterisation.

Thank you for this truly brilliant review - it made my day! ♥

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #11, by vanityfair Angular Cuts

29th September 2013:
Like the other story I have never read a Pansy one before. This was really interesting though. It made me feel sorry for her as everyone had left her and hated her. I wanted to give her a hug. Now, I need chocolate. Maia xxx

Author's Response: I'm glad I can be your first! I'm sorry I made you sad *virtual hug to both of you*! Thanks for another fantastic review, Maia, you really are too good to me! ♥

 Report Review

Review #12, by Lululuna Angular Cuts

16th September 2013:
Hello! :) Thank you for entering my challenge and providing such a thoughtful, poetic entry!

I was so excited to read your entry about Pansy, since she's such a one-dimensional and irritating character in the books, and I love this voice and identity you've given her. But the beauty of your story is that, in a way, Pansy doesn't really have a voice or identity. She has who her mother wanted her to be, who others expect her to be, and then these personas and qualities that she tries to embody and project onto herself, like not only being a rebel but making others perceive her as a rebel. It was brilliantly written and made me feel so sorry for Pansy: her own lack of self-determination or worth, her longing to be rescued while trying to appear tough and strong on the inside, her frustration with her own failures.

I enjoyed the repetition of the imagery of being angular and jagged throughout the story, and it suited both her internal self and her sharp, physical appearance of wasting away and being skin and bones. Also, your writing style really complimented this, with the short, fragmented sentence structure, choppy statements and the use of present tense. Another thing I noticed was how unhuman Pansy actually appeared in my mind: she's not a body made up of curves and skin and eyes and a smile, but a sort of collection of parts which don't fit together and are sharp and dangerous at the edges, even to herself, and she fits together awkwardly and almost mechanically. One aspect I loved was when you were describing her putting on lipstick, you didn't say "she put on lipstick," but gave this detailed, mechanical and almost grotesque description of the act of putting on lipstick, which was so powerful in showing, not telling.

Again, I liked the projected narratives Pansy tried to make up for herself, like wanting a more interesting story for her scar. I think, in a way, this is something many people can relate to: being unsatisfied with one's self, projecting fantasies and other identities in the hopes others will see us this way. It's a very important, universal story, and you told it very well in the context of this specific example.

Thank you for giving me this chance to get to see a fresh side to Pansy. This was a wonderful entry and a piece I very much enjoyed! :)

Author's Response: Well, thanks for creating such a great challenge and giving me these wonderful compliments!

I think her portrayal in the books was the main reason why I decided to write her, because, as you said, we really don't get to see the real Pansy so exploring her here was really fun. You got exactly what I was hoping to convey so that makes me insanely happy! I'm also glad that you felt a little sorry for her too because I do believe that she's just so confused and lost you can't blame her for those actions.

Yay, it didn't turn repetitive and boring then :P I have quite a fondness for present tense so admittedly I chose it mainly due to a personal preference, but I'm glad that the other structural choices paid off. I loved writing the lipstick part so it was great that you enjoyed it too! I'm not sure why I chose to make it so grotesque I think it was just the idea of beauty in Pansy's warped reality and it came out like that.

I based that a little on myself when younger as you always try to be the most impressive one. It's just sad that she never really grew out of that stage so, as you said again, has to rely on the little things to make her feel something.

Thanks for this amazing review, and I look forward to finding out the results! ♥

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #13, by Illuminate Angular Cuts

7th September 2013:
Hi! Ravenclaw Review Tag!

I really like this oneshot!

Pansy is a character that is very unexplored and can give a lot of chance for a writer to deepen her character, especially as she seems such an unsavoury person in the original books. That's why I relish the chance to delve into a story about Pansy :)

I like your descriptions and prose- the way you connect her life and the way she feels to jagged, sharp edges really shows her character without coming right out and saying it. Showing that she wants to be a rebel and wants to reinvent herself and be rescued really shows the vulnerable side to her aswell.

One thing- you start three paragraphs with the word "She." Not that bad, but try changing it up a bit by swapping the wording around in the sentences.

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi there!

I'm glad you liked it as I had a lot of fun writing it. I know what you mean about her, as she always seemed so horrible in the books but I wanted to portray that other unknown side about her, and I'm glad you liked it.

I'm so glad that you liked how they interlinked as you're the first to pick up on it, so I was worried it hadn't worked! I never meant for her to come out so dark :P I saw what you meant and I've already changed it!

Thanks for the great review! ♥

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #14, by milominderbinder Angular Cuts

4th September 2013:
So I LOVED this!

I'm doing the unexpected voice challenge too so I thought I'd come see your entry, and I thought it was really incredible. I've always been intrigued by Pansy - under the surface there has to be more than just the snippets of a shallow, mean girl we got in the books, and I think you captured that perfectly here.

Also, it was really fascinating because it made me think about the fact that for most people, the end of war wasn't going to immediately make them happy; for some it would actually make them more miserable.

Your writing style is also gorgeous, very flowing and almost lyrical in places. My favourite line was probably this one, one of the last, "Her angular cuts have now been smoothed down by everything seeping out". Gorgeous writing, and very symbolic.

Anyway, well done!

Author's Response: Can I just say that this review just about made my day? ♥

Wow, I still don't really know how to respond to this loveliness other than outright squeeing! I was always curious about her too, and when I saw the challenge I knew this would be a perfect chance to explore the deeper side to her.

I'm so glad that you liked the change, because I thought it was a lot of fun to see it from the other side where everything wasn't perfect and, in fact, bad as you said.

My writing style was a little different here so hearing you say that is really amazing! Thank you for all these wonderful compliments, they really did make my day! ♥

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #15, by toomanycurls Angular Cuts

2nd September 2013:
Quite a dark foray into Pansy's mind after DH. Quite good characterization of her. I especially like seeing her change after Voldemort's defeat.

Author's Response: Yes, I didn't intend to come out so dark before writing it. I'm glad you liked the change because I hope she did! Thanks for another awesome review! ♥

 Report Review

Review #16, by nott theodore Angular Cuts

1st September 2013:
Hey Kiana! I know I've still got more of Against All Odds to read but I couldn't resist when I saw this in the recently added pages. I'm always intrigued by your one-shots as they seem to have been written at strange times, so the results are always interesting - I'm jealous of how good they are though!

I've not really read any stories about Pansy before but I liked this bitter portrayal of her. I think it makes sense that she'd end up this way after the war, especially since we know that she didn't get the happy ending she wanted with Draco. So it was really interesting to read this characterisation of her, and I have to say that I liked it and might have been a bit too happy at the thought of her being miserable :P I did feel sorry for her, though!

I liked the way that you briefly mentioned her father and then her mother as well, because it helped give me an idea about why Pansy now is the way she is. There's this sense that she now has nothing to work towards and is kind of lost, with nobody to anchor her in to anything. It follows that she's trying to rebel against something, anything just to try and help her work out who she is and what she's meant to be doing with her life.

There was some great description in this as well, and I liked the way that you wove it into the story without overloading it with description. I think that maybe if there was something that the story focused on a little more and maybe tied the beginning and ending together it would make this even better, but I really enjoyed reading it as it is!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey Sian! Don't worry about it, I'm just happy to see you around again :D Yeah I really should develop another way of getting to sleep because I have a ton of half-written ones from it!

I've never read/written anything about her before either, so this was a new experience for me. Yeah I thought so too, because she was just left there and never mentioned again so it does make you wonder what she did. Sian, that's not very nice reviling in her misery like that :P I'm glad you felt a little sorry, though!

I'm glad you liked the mentions because I didn't want to go into too much depth but I felt it was necessary. Wow, that's such a great analysis and exactly what I meant to convey, so I'm glad it made sense. I've never felt as lost as her but it must be a horrible feeling.

I've never written description like that before, but it was a fun experience writing it with sparseness so I recommend it! I added in a few more lines and such to tie it together as I realised it didn't do that too much :P Thanks for another amazing review, Sian! ♥

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #17, by academica Angular Cuts

1st September 2013:
Hey Kiana! I saw your forum post and thought I'd come over and have a read of your new one-shot :)

I like your examination of Pansy a lot. Your portrayal is very bitter, which seems fitting for how Pansy would be after the war took away everyone she cared about. It's interesting how she thinks she's now in control, as exemplified by applying the makeup, but when she looks more closely she sees that she's become a mess, too.

I thought this line in particular was great: She likes that idea a lot -- it's a new role to play. It really shows that Pansy spent her life being what other people wanted her to be and she has trouble figuring out who she is now that she's been left alone and has no answers.

I liked the themes you portrayed in this piece: Pansy being a child, Pansy being a rebel, Pansy being jagged and frayed, Pansy being alone. I think this would be even better if you added a bit more just to tie all those themes together. Maybe the central theme is Pansy's continual seeking of roles. Clearly Pansy is more complex than everyone thinks, and I think it's cool that you explored that during this extremely low point in her life.

Good work!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amanda, thank you so much for coming over!

I'm glad you liked my examination of her because I was actually going to request review from you due to you having experience in psychology to see if it made sense. I thought she would be bitter because to fall so much and to have everything taken from her must have been hard, I'm glad you picked up on how she tried to control herself too.

Yes, I liked that one too! I always thought she must have been insecure from the way she acted in the books so it was a lot of fun to put more emphasis on it in here.

Now I realise it, I didn't do too much to pull them all together so I've already gone and edited in a couple more lines to hopefully pull all those pieces of Pansy together. I didn't realise how complex she was either, but then I think that's the case about most people and you only realise when you begin to analyse deeply.

Thanks for this great review, Amanda, it was really helpful!

-Kiana


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login