Reading Reviews for CHAOS
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by bellatrixlestrange123 Rumor Has It

10th February 2014:
That opening paragraph was powerful. it was well written and there was just the right amount in there to have me hooked. This may sound morbid but I love a character who's superior and they know it (reading about them anyway)and so it was interesting to read about someone like sophie!

I think we've all been in that situation at school where rumours spread like wild fire and so the plot over all was every easy to relate with and make comparisons with real life, this makes it all the more authentic so well done!

I think Sophie's smug tone is what makes this one shot the real McCoy, I've noticed that you have a knack for writing personal tones for a character really well and it shows again in this story!

Once again, well done for the lovely oneshot!

Author's Response: You and I seem to have something in common. I've read about so many characters that have been weird or quirky or athletic but I haven't come across a lot of stories containing a main character that acts like they're all that and a bag of chips and isn't afraid to flaunt it.

I know too well how rumors can destroy someone's life so I think this story is going to be overall probably very easy to write and hopefully relatable!

Thank you so much for the lovely review!


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Review #2, by patronus_charm Rumor Has It

23rd January 2014:
Ok, Iím back again for the final review as I actually have some spare time!

Haha, I loved the way you started it by describing Sophieís character. I really got such a vivid sense for erm her lovely personality :P It really was a great way to introduce her because we got to learn so much about her but in a hilarious way too it made it a lot more interesting. I noticed you have a habit of opening up stories like that and you should definitely keep it up because itís so much fun and an interesting way too.

I really liked how you made her isolated because usually these sorts of people have a ton of friends and boys on the go, but it made it a lot more fun to have her be a loner. I especially liked it because it meant when James started noticing her and almost following her around it was so funny because she just didnít know how to deal with it as she never speaks to humans :P

Haha, I honestly thought she was going to snog James at that point because there was a fair amount of chemistry between the two but I much prefer the idea that sheís going to try and seek some sort of revenge on him. Theyíre both rather fiery characters shall we say, so having them confront each other will be very interesting to see. I can already see the beginnings of Jamesí plan by spreading rumours about her which is a fun twist, so I canít wait to see how she reacts to that.

Another great start to the story, and itís been a lot of fun reading your stories!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hello there Kiana! Sorry it took me so long to respond to this but it wasn't working on my computer so I'm trying it from a different device and seeing if it works from here.

Sophie definitely has an interesting personality, if not one that you can exactly get along with at all times. I'd thought about giving her a bunch of friends and having boys at hand but then I thought about her personality and it didn't fit in with her. People aren't usually attracted to the kind of personality that Sophie has. Plus, you don't need to be popular to convince people of things, a lot of people believe anything as long as it's interesting I've found.

The fact that Sophie didn't know how to deal with James was taken from me and the fact that I don't know how to deal with boys if they ever show interest in me.

Kissing James would definitely not be the first thing on Soohie's mind. She's not exactly the type to kiss a boy no matter who he is. She and James are definitely going to go head to head. This rumor war is definitely going to cause a lot of trouble.

Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #3, by StellaRose Rumor Has It

3rd September 2013:
Hey there! It's Emmy from the review thread!

Your summary is really well written. I didn't even bother to scroll down your stories because this one caught my eye and made me want to read it! :)

I really like how you introduce us to Sadie. You start off by going over her role at Hogwarts and the power of rumors. I think it's funny that you have James later say in dialogue how childish she is because that was my very first impression of her!

This quote stuck out to me: 'Life was good for Sophie, she had great marks, no friends, everyone was scared but at the same time in awe of her and she was single.' All I could think of is...ugh, how is that a good life?! It sounds awful to me!

That quote was good though because it again reinforced that your OC does have some weird delusions about what it means to be popular and powerful.

One minor cc and that's about this line: 'He was referring to something much bigger than the map.' To me, this was confusing. How does Sophie know what he was referring to? Does she know about the map?

Character wise, you have have a great start on Sophie. Her thoughts, dialogue and actions are all consistent and very well done. I would have like to see more description about her appearance but that's rather minor. James is rather different! I've never read about him being a slob and I like his personality so far. Seems like the annoying type of bloke that never gets riled up about anything.

Final thought, I love that it's going to be James that takes her down AND that he's taking her down with a rumor war! This is a fresh take as all I ever seem to read about are prank wars or something similar.

Keep up the good work! I'll for sure keep a look out for Ch. 2!

--Emmy

Author's Response: Hey there Emmy!

I had to shorten my summary actually because it was too long and I wasn't entirely sure about the new edited version so the fact that it immediately caught your eye is a good thing.

The name is Sophie, not Sadie (and I'm checking to make sure that I didn't misspell her name as that would be embarrassing). But anyway, when I wrote that part about James it occurred to me that Sophie really was a childish person no matter how mature or better than everyone she tried to come off as.

As for the quote part, it really depends on who you talk to. For most people that sort of life sounds horrible but for other people it's exactly what they want and are looking for.

Gah! Thank you for pointing the map part out! I was thinking of something else but I somehow typed out map for some reason, I'm going to fix that right now, thanks for pointing it out!

I was worried that this would just be another cliche because I've seen character's like Sophie before and who were in a similar situation so to hear that this was a fresh take is great!

Thanks so much for review and for the feedback!


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Review #4, by academica Rumor Has It

1st September 2013:
Hello, here from the Ravenclaw Review Battle!

This is cute! You must really like writing Next Gen humor stories, because I know I've reviewed quite a few from you :) I like how overblown the characterization of Sophie is because it really highlights how silly she is and how her priorities are all out of whack. I also like James because he seems like just the person to knock her off her throne. His characterization as a bit of a jokester--or at least that's the vibe I'm getting--is a little cliche, but again, it seems to work pretty well with this dynamic.

I didn't see any errors in grammar, spelling or punctuation, so that's great. You've got a good beginning to your story; I like how you went from general musings about rumors to a more individual perspective on Sophie and her life. The whole atmosphere reminded me a little bit of Gossip Girl, which used to be pretty addictive for me, so I'd definitely take that as a compliment!

Great start!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Final review to answer! YES!

Every time I get a review from you I get really excited to see what criticism you have for me.

You've caught me, yes, I do. I'm typecasted, I know but I just can't help myself. There's so many things that I can write about in the next generation era and no matter how many plots I've got for other eras and genres, I always end up back here. I've never great at dealing with emotions or being sad, I always end up cracking jokes so most of the time I stay away from things like that.

Ron has some very important advice for Sophie and that is, "She needs to sort out her priorities."

His characterization is a bit cliche, I'll admit that but I hope to change that as the story goes on.

To hear that there's no spelling, grammar or punctuation is a huge relief because I can be pretty bad in that department. I was worried that that part would be a bit too sudden and I worked a lot on smoothing out that transition.

Thank you so much for your great review!


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Review #5, by RavenclawWayToBe Rumor Has It

29th August 2013:
oh my gosh this story sounds so good! I'm so used to seeing stories about popular girls who are super sweet or awkward girls who are gorgeous but dont know it that this is so different and i love it. im super interested in how you wrote james, really laid back and careless almost fearless! i definitely cannot wait until you update this because i will definitely read it!

Author's Response: Oh my gosh, thanks for reviewing! I didn't think I'd get any reviews, seeing as this didn't have a banner yet but thanks for leaving one anyway!

I've read a lot of stories like that myself and there's some in my favourites for whenever I feel in a cliche sort of mood.

I'm also glad that you're liking James so far, I'm hoping to make him a little bit different than how he's usually portrayed.

I'm so happy to hear that you're enjoying that story and that you're looking forward to it, thanks so much for the review!


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