Reading Reviews for See Jen Run
  
19 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Sam Listening Lessons

18th September 2014:
I cannot fully express how much I love this story and it's only three chapters in. I really hope you plan on continuing this story because I check it everyday. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to leave a comment, I always feel a bit insecure about my reviews on well written stories such as this.

I cannot get enough of Jen, with or without the romance with Sirius. I love her interactions with all the mauraders, especially James. You've done a marvelous job making sure all the characters are alive, with full personalities. Please don't stop writing this story! I see a bit of myself in Jen, and I can't wait to see what she does next.

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Review #2, by Loony lovegood Listening Lessons

28th March 2014:
Ooh SNAP. What an ending to a chapter! I love this zaney humour it's totally up my street, makes me proper giggle.

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Review #3, by Brightpaw Listening Lessons

14th March 2014:
Yay! Great chapter! Poor kitty. :( Have they ever heard of scissors? What kind of original fiction are you writing?

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Review #4, by Crescent Moon  Listening Lessons

8th March 2014:
Loved this chapter. Very funny. Can't wait to see what happens next.

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Review #5, by Idk Listening Lessons

6th March 2014:
Finally! Uhave NO IDEA how glad I am u updated

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Review #6, by Crescent Moon  The Payback

17th February 2014:
I'm loving this story so far. I can't wait to see what's going to happen next. Please update soon :)

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Review #7, by JT4HP The Payback

9th January 2014:
THIS STORY IS SO GREAT.

I love it. It's different and funny and Jen is just great. Such a great character. I like her best friend, too. She is funnaaay. Andrew is such a prat. I love that Jen finally stood up for herself to Andrew and that the marauders were behind her.

Can't wait to see where the story goes!

Author's Response: THIS REVIEW IS SO GREAT!

That's exactly what I was going for. Funny and different. Andrew is rather prat-ish isn't he? He's fun to write though so I don't think he's going away! Thank you so much for reading and for the support!


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Review #8, by Brightpaw The Payback

3rd January 2014:
*speechless*


Ok I guess that doesn't help...
So I love all the characters. They feel so developed and it's only the 2nd chapter! Andrew seems kind of bad but I still like him too... maybe it's the bat wings. I like bats.

The marauders are perfect. I actually haven't read a story with marauders I didn't like, buuut these might be the best. I'm soo glad I found this story; it made my day! Another chapter soon?

Author's Response: Speechless? Goodness! I'm so glad you loved and could connect to the characters. I work really hard at them, so it means a lot that you like them. I like bats too. He's not a bad person; he just messes up his priorities. New chapter soon, yes! I'm currently writing a few of my own original novels at the moment and they are sapping up my time. But, yes! A chapter is coming! Thank you so much!

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Review #9, by toomanycurls The Payback

27th September 2013:
I really liked that this chapter walked backwards and explained Jen's relationship with Andrew. I didn't love that he was oblivious about her until she showed interest in his causes (but I think that was an intentional plot item). Their kiss sounded sweet but I was curious about the kiss - was it passionate, friendly, or something else? The description of Andrew did make him sound dreamy and cute. The description might work better if you rearranged the paragraph breaks a tad. The line where Slughorn hells at Andre could be its own line. Then another break before "During our next new years". It might flow better to have the sentence describing thinking about kissing Andrew while in front of the common room door makes sense with the paragraph below. I think you have an awesome bit of description here that summed up their relationship formation and dissipation very well.

Andrew does come across as the impossibly political hipster types. A bit self-absorbed and self-important *grumbles* - not that I've dated that type before.

I'm digging Lea - I like that's she's such a good friend. I like that she's trying to protect Jen from Sirius' influence (and that she at least knows his reputation - I wasn't sure if Jen did but she sure didn't act like he might have alterior motives in the previous chapter). It was a bit sad that Sirius didn't quite remember Jen when Lea called him over. I did laugh when James called Sirius out for the bet. I do think it's interesting that Jen wants to have the rational/adult breakup. They're breakups and aren't supposed to be rational. :D

While I'm not surprised the Marauders followed Jen and Andrew, it did surprise me that they weren't noticed (was there an invisibilty cloak involved?) I liked that Remus was interested in the common room. I can kind of see Remus/Jen happening. The showering together gag is hilarious. I got a visual too and it cracked me up. ^_^

You did a really good job taking Andrew from cute sounding to quite unlikeable in one chapter. I quite wanted to slap him near the end. I was glad to see Sirius et al standing up for Jen. :D

I do think this is interesting and like that Sirius hasn't instantly started chasing Jen (I've seen that a lot with other Sirius/OC fics). I hope Jen has a bit more self confidence about herself moving forward. Her identity so far has been pretty wrapped up in the people she's around. It'd be cool to see Jen come into her own a bit before she hooks up with Sirius

Author's Response: Wow, what a great review! You really cover a lot and I really appreciate it. You nailed Andrew exactly. Impossibly political hipster types. I laughed so hard when I read that. Totally what I was going for. It was definitely a plot item that he was more interested in Jen once she began supporting his causes. Your comments on formatting are great, and it's something I should really consider more. I just get locked into scenes and don't always transition well.

Lea is a wonderful friend. And she'll keep being one throughout this whole thing. What you say about breakups are true. They are never rational, even if you try to make them that way. Not that I've tried.

The shower gag just sparked into my head while I was writing and it was too good to leave out. I wanted to slap Andrew too. He's not going anywhere though; we'll be hearing from him again before the end.

No, no. This relationship will, as all good things do, take time. There will be bumps and issues. Drama. All that jazz. Jen will come into her own, but that will take time as well.

Thank you so, so much for the wonderful, insightful, and rather brilliant review. This is great. Just great.


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Review #10, by toomanycurls Sandcatsle

27th September 2013:
Hi!!! I kind of love Sirius/OC fics. So, I'm glad you requested for this one.

I like the friendship you've shown between Sirius and his pals. It seems right up their alley that they'd put a bet on something trivial like getting a girl to move from their favorite spot. Peter is a bit quite compared to the others but I'm glad you gave him a few lines. The Remus-lover in my can only imagine that he had something wonderful to say. Too bad it didn't work. ahaha, of course Sirius imagines all the girls he breaks up with sobbing hysterically under a tree. He has quite the ego. Sirius' thoughts on the lame break-up excuse.

How did he get Jen's cat? I mean, I would *never* give someone my cats. It's a small detail but I can't imagine leaving a pet with a significant other. It's too bad that Sirius' interest was only in getting the his spot next to the tree. I mean, it seemed to cheer Jen up but I don't always love the shallow Sirius personification (but it does fit with him being a teenager and other fanon ideas about him).

It did seem like many of the lines/paragraphs were a bit short. They could have more details/description in them just to plump out the text. There's a bit of balance that's useful when it comes to description versus dialogue. I'll read on to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Woot! All right!

Yeah, they would put a bet on something so silly. Boys are that way. Peter was a bit quiet in this one, but I promise he'll play bigger parts in the story to come. I hate when he's neglected in marauder stories, so I won't leave him out. Remus did have something spectacular to say, but he asked me not to share it. Sirius has an ego. But, many boys at that age do. Especially the attractive ones.

They were more like "sharing" Sandcatsle. Like when Jen visited Andrew in the Hufflepuff common room she might bring him along. Then he'd hang around there for a few days. It wasn't a permanent thing. No, no. I would never give away a pet. Yes, at the moment Sirius can come across as shallow, but I promise he'll learn and grow as the story goes on. He's got a character arc to complete!

I completely understand where you're coming from. I love dialogue so sometimes I skip over important descriptions to get to it quicker!

Thank you for the review! It was wonderful!


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Review #11, by onestop_hpfan18 Sandcatsle

9th September 2013:
Hey, I'm here for the Hufflepuff Review the Above Person tag. I thought this was a cute chapter and I like the way you've written Sirius. So many times authors write Sirius as a playboy and insensitive, but I like how you've characterized him as caring in his own playful way. The only critic I'd give you is watch the exclamation marks as you wrote two dialogue tags back to back at the beginning of the chapter; a rule of thumb with exclamation marks is to use them sparingly (once for every 100,000 words). But great first chapter. (:

Author's Response: Caring in a playful way? You nailed it; exactly what I was going for! Goodness, I've never heard of that rule before, but I'll certainly keep it in mind as I press forward. Thank you for the review and the encouragement!

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Review #12, by Ms. Too Lazy to Sign In The Payback

3rd September 2013:
I loved this so much :-)) Jen & Sirius are both great characters so far! Looking forward to reading more.

Author's Response: Thank you! They are going to be fun to write, so I'm really looking forward to the rest of this story. Thanks so much! You're wonderful!

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Review #13, by LilyLou The Payback

2nd September 2013:
Oh my god. This story is absolutely amazing. Squee! Your characterization is marvelous, to say the least. I look forward to your updates, which I hope is soon...?

Great story!

Keep writing!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Amazing? Oh, goodness, you're making me blush. Characterization is something I obsess over, so it means a lot that you think it's good! Oh, I'll update soon, never fear! Great review! Keep reading! Thank you so much.

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Review #14, by teeheemarauder24601 The Payback

1st September 2013:
Hehehe I totally love it!!! It's hilarious and very well written. I love the characters!! Especially the way you've written the marauders, as a group and separately!! :)

Author's Response: I'm excited to continue writing the Marauders; I think they're going to surprise me in a lot of ways. I love these characters so far as well, so it means a lot that you do too! Thanks so much for everything you said; you are very, very kind!

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Review #15, by house elf The Payback

1st September 2013:
Yay! This didn't disappoint! I loooved it!

Jeez, Andrew is nuts. But the Marauders are awesome! I loved that little showdown. And I like Lea, she's a wonderful friend to Jen :)

Is her cat called Sandcastle now? Or did you forget to mistype it for the whole chapter?

Keep writing this story!

Author's Response: Andrew is totally nuts. Which means he's incredibly fun to write. Excellent; I'm glad this didn't disappoint. Lea is a wonderful friend. A protector, and she doesn't take crap from anyone. Ugh, it's totally still Sandcatsle. I'm blaming stupid auto-correct for this one. I went through and changed them all; thank you SO much for the catch. I will keep writing! Hope you keep reading! :)

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Review #16, by Siriusly89 The Payback

1st September 2013:
I'm going to apologize for the length of this review, as Geography is screaming to be completed, but I just love this so much! Jen and Andrew, and then the Marauders showering! Hah! I like to think Mr 'Oh snap!' was Peter, he seems like the type! And hten the image of them all with their wands pointed is one of my favourites! I love that image, so thank you for that! I am most definitely favouriting this, and please update soon, Aaah! I love this so much :D 10/10

Author's Response: Geography? Pssh, that can wait. I actually agree with you about Peter being the Oh, snap guy. He does seem the type. Wow, there are so many incredible things in this review. 10/10 rating? Favoriting this? You love it? A smile face? You are really very, very kind. Thank you so much for all the encouragement; it really does mean the world to me. Here comes your very own smile face. :D

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Review #17, by Dethia Sandcatsle

31st August 2013:
Lovin it. Just so you know =*~_^=

Author's Response: Lovin this review. Just so you know.

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Review #18, by house elf Sandcatsle

22nd August 2013:
Wow this is an awesome first chapter! I was hooked right from the start.

I love your Marauders - just how I always imagined them. Jen seems interesting and a realistic character. The Sandcatsle thing made me laugh! I love your writing aaand I can't wait for more! :)

Author's Response: YES! I always strive for a hook, but don't know if I always get it done. Thank you so much for all your kind words; this review went right ahead and made my day. Sandcatsle definitely deserves a giggle. Thank you SO much! :)

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Review #19, by handknittedsweaters Sandcatsle

22nd August 2013:
Your characterization of the Marauders is spot on :) I also appreciate these wacky other characters and I'm interested to hear about how this will progress to being a Sirius/Jen. Is that what you were planning on? Will I get to hear more about this Andrew character? He sounds like a gem :)

Author's Response: Spoilers: yep, that is what I was planning on. They'll take their time, that's for sure though. I never really liked those stories where characters automatically get together. As Mrs. Potts says in Beauty and the Beast: "These things take time." Andrew is an absolute gem. So much fun to write; you'll get to know him more in the next chapter. The Marauders worry me to write, so I'm glad you think they're doing alright so far. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I love sweaters.

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