Reading Reviews for The New Pride of Portree
71 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LightLeviosa5443 A Fine Line

16th April 2014:
Hi! I've caught up! I hope you update soon! I don't know how long I can go without this gem! (How does this not have more reviews, it's so awesome!!)

Haha, what a happy crew they are. They're leading each other on a hike? What? Oh man, this is a bad bad idea. Hahaha, bumping into each other, Fitz focused on Molly's hand. Molly knowing he was grinning. That whole scene was great, maybe it is team building a bit, I can see some progress here. At least they're all agreeing on something...

I love that Molly and Fitz are flirting with eachother in such a non-obvious way. It's great. The glances ,the comments here and there. Body language. It's so fun to read, and I can see it all in my head. It definitely helps that the whole team is progressively getting along more and more ridiculously ganging up on Lefoque. Ugh. Mariah. Doesn't she know that's so innapropriate to do. Especially since it's technically a work environment. I totally kind of forgot aboout her and I hate her all over again now.

Yay! Molly and Fitz banters! I love those! I love these little conversations that they have here and there that are serious, or not serious. I haven't even read it yet and I'm excited. Oh man, that old man. That whole exchange between the man and the bartender was so funny. I loved that they were family and the whole atmosphere of the bar was really just so wonderful. Oh man, even the locals hate the retreat. That's when you know it's bad.

Hahahahahaha. Deimos. This chapter is so hilarious. This story is so hilarious. You're a literary genius. This story is wonderful. This whole bar part of the story has been incredible. Oh no, Molly and Fitz are having a spat, but he's softening. She's blushing. Ugh. So perfect. I'm obsessed with Molly and Fitz. Mariah will have to get over it. :P Awe. You end your chapters in such a lovely way. I feel like they all end with a sense of cliffhanger, and loveliness. Like at any given point you could end the story and I'd kind of be okay. Just kidding, I'd be upset.

I hope you update soon. This is such a wonderful story, and I'm so sorry that I've been leaving you such lame reviews. I'll try to do better. ♥

xoxo Sarah ♥
Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza

 Report Review

Review #2, by LightLeviosa5443 A Sabotaged Sorceress

16th April 2014:
Hi! The dreaded trip to a retreat. I can't wait.

Haha, McCormack is so smart, waiting for everyone. That was really brilliant. She knew they'd try to duck out of it. I love that they all came over to this team, and now because of how they acted and played, are forced to stay with the team because otherwise there's no chance of them playing professional Quidditch again. It's awesome. I hope this week kicks their butts in gear.

Awe. Poor Molly. I hate that everyone blames her. They should blame themselves. I love Jinks, he's probably one of my favourites. HAHA. Oh my gosh. This line "Of course she'd gone to school with a Weasley. Everyone had bloody gone to school with a Weasley." Priceless. I love that McCormack and Molly are kind of bonding right now, and everyone else is just trudging along behind.

Oh man, this week is starting to terrify me. I don't know if I'm excited anymore. She didn't look too certain of it herself is never a good line. Never ever. HAHAHA. Oh my gosh, people are going to get hurt with this trust fall. This is not going to be good. I can already sense it. Haha, oh gosh. They just keep checking each other out and it's so so so wonderful. I'm so in love with this story and their dynamics. I love this dance they're doing. I think it's almost better right now than if they were actually together. It's so entertaining and fun.

Awe. At least the girls managed a conversation without killing each other. That's improvement. I'm still scared of the trust falls. This isn't going to end well. How is that run thing team building. She should've paired them off. Especially since someone chose a person they were comfortable with. Of course they weren't going to make anyone fall! Uh oh. Mariah doesn't like Mitz. Not at all. I don't feel bad, she divorced him. He's not her property. I loved that little trust excersize and their whole exchange though, it was great. I still think Lefoque should be pairing them up herself, they all choosing someone they're comfortable with. I have a feeling this week is probably not going to go well.

Oh lord. Anonymous positive feedback. Oh man. I'm afraid. Hahaha, that was so great. That whole last like half of the chapter was so wonderful. It was so clever, and so funny and just entertaining. I really enjoyed everything you did with it, and I absolutely loved the way that you had them run off to the pub. I loved seeing the team improve a little, and break out from that clicky I dislike you shell they were starting to form. Oh poor Fitz, that ending killed me. Ugh. I hope things head up between the two soon. I love them too much for them to not!

Wonderful chapter again!

xoxo Sarah ♥
Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza

 Report Review

Review #3, by LightLeviosa5443 A Pack of Wild Dogs

16th April 2014:
Hi again.

Oh. The ever delightful Hangover. Those are always fun. Oh I hate these conversations. They're having the "let's ignore this just be friends" conversation. Sad. What a shame. I vote they just kiss again. I don't think that'll happen, at least, not for a bit, but that's my vote. I wonder what Mariah would do if she found out. Intrigue.

OH yay! Smoldering thoughts and looks. I'm okay with this. This is a sad quidditch match. C'mon guys, pep up! I wish Fitz would say what he said to Molly, to the team. They need to hear that. Just tell them to focus and get their head in the game. I'm so into this story right now, I'm pretty sure I'm talking to myself. Oops.

At least this game is going a bit better, but oh no!!! Molly's arm! That's not good! Oh I hope it's nothing serious. Uh oh. A whole week in close proximity. That sounds like a really bad idea for Fitz and Molly who are trying to keep it tame and friendly. I'm so intrigued about this new development. I love McCormack, she's such a butt kicker and it's so awesome.

Oh boy. This next chapter is going to be so amazing. This review is really short and it's kind of weird, but I guess this chapter is short in comparison to the others. Kind of. I don't know, I really do love this story, it's so awesome. I'm in love with it!!

xoxo Sarah ♥
Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza

 Report Review

Review #4, by LightLeviosa5443 Magpies and Mistakes

16th April 2014:
Hi! I just realized I didn't say hi in my last review, oops.

I love that Molly is taking everything in as people arrive. I love that she's looking at the team and analyzing the people and it's weaknesses and how people get along. I'm wondering how she's going to fix the factions thing, if she will at all. Haha, Zara is upset. Good, Molly is better. I wonder what's wrong with Mariah. Probably doesn't like how close Fitz and Molly are getting? Oh I don't know, I love this, though.

Oh man, Molly is dosing off into the land of love. What am I even saying anymore. These reviews are so not coherent, I'm so sorry. Poor Fitz, he's so stressed and worried about facing his old team. I feel bad for him, but he's being so mean. I wish Molly would step up and say something, especially if he's decreasing the morale of the team. Oh man. I feel like I should be afraid for this game.

Oh man, that poor team. Go Molly! Slipping out to say something, good girl. I hope he gives them a peptalk. I love Molly. So much. You're characterization is so so so wonderful. Especially on Molly. She's my favourite character so far. Yay Molly's mohawk is back!!! Hooray!! Oh, rough start to the party, but that's okay. I think. I'm sure It'll sort itself out. I hope.

HAHA. Oh my gosh. That whole room scene. That was so funny and so brilliant. Poor guy with poor poor self esteem issues. That's okay. I still love him, and so does Molly.

Oh boy. Game time. Oh no. Oh poor Molly. That's so upsetting. Oh a little trip to the bar fixes everything. I like the way this is escalating. A lot. This whole scene is so genuine and fun and I love it all. I mean, I'm upset they lost and the team turned on itself, but I love this scene. They're so sweet. Oh gosh. You ended this chapter in such a lovely way. I'm melted in a pool of butterflies and feels on the floor right now. That was so wonderful and it was just a kiss. Gosh. Stop being so good!

I love the effortles flow of the story. I know I don't really comment on the real components of the story, but just what happens. But I really do love everything about it. I love the way you characterize everyone, I love how everyone has a distinct personality, and they never stray from it. I love that the story is filled with descriptions so clear that I can see it in my head like a movie. And I'm absolutely in love with everything about it.

xoxo Sarah ♥

Huffleclaw - Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza

 Report Review

Review #5, by LightLeviosa5443 Drills and Defense

16th April 2014:
I know I always say this, but I love your descriptive skills. They're really wonderful, and I feel that they shine through in certain parts of the story and really just make it so much more powerful. We haven't seen much of Fitz and his relationship with his friend Max, and I'm really enjoying this little insight/scene of the two of them. I like getting to know characters and their friendships and relationships. You do such a wonderful job of keeping your characters true to how you first wrote them, and I love it.

Oh my gosh. This line. "Listen mate, if you're waiting for a girl who's never seen you behave like a Yeti, you're never going to get a date." is so wonderful. I'm laughing. I'm crying laughing. That was AMAZING. I like knowing Fitz does have a thing for Molly. It's comforting and exciting to know that the feelings reciprocate. I was really worried that he was just kind of indifferent towards her, which of course I didn't want because Folly needs to be a thing. Mitz? I don't know what one sounds better.

Haha those beaters are flat cold busted. I'm nervous about Beathan going home with Gittins too, and I feel like I barely know those characters too. If Fitz things it's going to implode, it probably will. Oh yeah, bad, bad bad bad. Oh I love Meghan. This story seriously just gets better and better and better. Please tell me Molly will be Captain. Please tell me they'll make Molly captain.

He's watching her, and she caught him watching her. And it's super cute. Love it. Uh oh. Not super cute. Oh no, he's mad. Ugh, but she got the whole team motivated and moving! They need to communicate. He needs to realize that she's helpful and she needs to realize that he doesn't like to listen so she has to force him into it. Oh my. He broke his broom.

I feel bad for Fitz, but at the same time, Molly is right. He could totally do something about it. I do love this mini-power struggle, though. It's great. YAY SHE'S CAPTAIN. So excited. Probably too excited. Also, I can't wait for this quidditch match. Side note, I love that you've written a story about quidditch. I've always wanted to, but actually writing a story about quidditch terrifies me, and you're super brave and awesome. Just so you know. Back to the story. McCormack and Weasley giving him a "Then do your job" speech. Oh man. He's having a rough go of it.

Poor guy. Kind of. Just kidding I don't really feel bad for him, he asked for it. Ooh boy. Molly's drinking and Fitz is going to show up at her door, isn't he? Yup. He did. McCormack didn't just make her team captain, he kind of did, too. YAY HE ADMITTED HE NEEDS HELP AGAIN. I love that he can set aside his issues and do that. So happy. So so so happy. Look at them, working together, this is great. Oh Molly, don't start picking fights.

OH MY GOODNESS. How she got Jinks to actually practice was so hilarious. I actually cried a little laughing. So funny. This scene, they're communicating and understanding each other and it's so lovely. Oh gosh. Butterflies. This is so perfect. I literally have butterflies right now. Awe. Nothing happened, but that's okay because stepping stones. Wonderful chapter. Oh, so amazing. Literally every chapter just gets better and better. I'm so in love with this story.

xoxo Sarah ♥

Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza

 Report Review

Review #6, by LightLeviosa5443 Flight and Family

16th April 2014:
Hi again! (I think I need a new greeting)

I love Fitz. I love the way he thinks, I love the way you've written him. I just love him. McCormack is really growing on me and I'm enjoying the way you've got her sweet talking to all of the owners. It's really great, and I love seeing a side to Fitz duties as coach other than, well, coaching! Hahahaha, some cool body mod. I love that he was just kind of like Nope, not going back to you. I wouldn't go back to that guy either.

Hugo! We're getting all of the mini-Weasley's, or well, less-used Weasley's and I love love love it. You go! :) Awe, is Hugo a new healer, or has he just never really worked with quidditch? Whatever, I don't care, I love his appearance in this. I love that Fitz CAN ask for help. I love that he doesn't like doing it, but he does. It's a practicality a lot of people don't have and I'm excited to see that you've given that to him. It's wonderful to read.

Haha, they use similar faces. That's wonderful. I love the way Fitz gets mad, and Hugo just brushes it off. I can only imagine how he'd have to be so calm and patient growing up with Ron, Hermione and Rose, not to mention the rest of the wotter clan! Awe, Fitz has a consience too. This is getting better and better by the second!!

Euw. Dirty socks. Nobody likes those. Why do I have a feeling he should've read those side effects? Maybe its just my nervous side. I read every side effect at least 50 times. I love the way you've described this whole scene and really highlighted what it takes to be a Chaser and Molly's natural talent on a broom and what not. Awe he's jealous. Oh no, now he's being mean. That's a pity.

Awe. I love that Molly can understand what was wrong with him, and that she hid in the corner to watch. She's the right mix of know-it-all, bossy, pushy, and gentle. I absolutely adore her and the way you've written her. I can't wait to see what you do with the two of them, especially now that Molly knows Fitz can fly, and understands why he doesnt do it in front of people.

Yay! Introduction to Molly's family. Oh I'm so excited. I love the way you describe everything. Your description skills are so amazing and wonderful, really they make this story so easy and enjoyable to read. I can SEE it all in my head, and I love that. This is so great, I love the way that Molly lays next to Lucy, and then Lucy just says You first. They don't look at each other, they don't say hi. They just do that thing that siblings to. HAHAHA. I'm going to turn into Victoire, don't tell Victoire. That was priceless.

I love that scene, it's so wonderfully sisterly, and I love the entire familial relationship established through the dialogue and thoughts in it. It's really lovely and wonderful. I kind of love Hilarion. I want to go read your other stories to read more on these two. Once I catch up on this one though, I don't think I could STOP reading this one until I was at the absolute end of what you have so far. It's so captivating!

Haha, Molly clearly needed a little vent sesh with someone who knew quidditch. I love that Hilarion is totally useless here. It's so funny. MOLLY IS SUCH A GOOD PERSON I CAN'T HANDLE IT. She is so good, and pure, and honest, and sweet. She has such amazing intentions. I love this so much. I love that banter. Percy egging her on, saying to use her leadership and organization skills. Lucy is joshing her about being married, and then their Mum being uspet that she's not married. Priceless.

I love Molly. I don't care how often I say it, I love love love her. This chapter was so amazing. I feel like they're all getting better and better and better. It's so enjoyable and fun to read. I'm laughing and reacting and just having such an amazing time reading this story. I feel like I'm really connecting and enjoying what you've put into it and I love that. I think we don't get that a lot in fanficiton. Wonderful job, this is probably one of my new favourite stories on the Archives. ♥

xoxo Sarah ♥

 Report Review

Review #7, by LightLeviosa5443 The Dreaded Ex

16th April 2014:
Hi again!

I'm with you Fitz. I don't know who Mariah Waldman is, or why she was in your past, or why you spent entire days with her five years ago, but I don't want her there either. Were they old team mates or are they exes? I want to know, but I don't. I'm being silly. Yup. Definitely exes. Ugh. Fitzie. I hate her already. THEY'RE DIVORCED? TALK ABOUT DROPPING A BOMBSHELL. WOAH. Hold on. I need a second to comprehend. Woah. Dude. Just woah. Mind blown. Seriously.

Ugh. I really dislike her. She's annoying me. Why is she so... Unnecessary. For lack of a better, nicer, term. Awe. Molly is SO sweet, asking him if he's alright. ACCEPT THE NICE ACT FITZ. Nope. Stubborn. Rude. I am so into this right now it's almost embarassing. Just kidding I don't get embarassed. YAY! OMG YAY! Molly is probably going to be captain, then? I'm so excited at just the idea. Okay. Focusing. Story. Still hate Mariah.

Clever girl. Clever, clever girl. I can't wait to see how this party unrolls. Yeah, not only does she keep the cabinet well-stocked, but well-organized too. I have the distinct feeling this party is going to turn from brilliant plan to terribly bad very very quickly. Ugh. I feel like Mariah should be a little less dislikeable right now, but I just don't like her. At all. She's evil. Though I kind of categorized her as evil before she even was truly introduced. Probably not fair. Don't care. (hey, I rhymed...)

Woah. It wasn't disasterous at all. It was brilliant. Beautifully manuevered. (spelling that word was a manuever.) Your characterization in this is so wonderful. I love the voice all of the characters have, and the way Molly thinks and the flow and just everything. I'm loving this so so so so so much!! How did he know?! How. Just how?! What even? Smart guy that Fitz. I like him more and more.

I love that Molly is so observant, and Fitz is surprised by it. With everything he's encountered with Molly you would expect that he would expect her to have observed the way she acts and the kind of person she is. But it was great that she had that element of awesome surprise. Butterflies! We love butterflies! Oh this is so exciting!! What a wonderful wonderful wonderful chapter.

I'm in love with this story. How am I ever supposed to stop reading it?!

xoxo Sarah ♥

 Report Review

Review #8, by LightLeviosa5443 The New Lineup

15th April 2014:
Hi again! (because what's a review without a proper greeting?)

This just gets better and better. I think I'm just going to keep reviewing the same way I did last time, because there's absolutely zero CC I have for this wonderful wonderful story. Plus, I think I love it too much to catch anything wrong, anyway. And it's an excuse to read it twice. ;)

Before I even start commenting on the story, I just want to mention that I love your use of minor next-gen characters. I'm guilty of not using enough of them, and I love that this wonderful wonderful story is featuring some. Okay. Story, right. That thing I'm supposed to be reviewing. I love that Roxanne in the beginning is making sure that Molly is doing what she wants to do. I'm really enjoying this loving, cousinly relationship between the two, and it's nice to see that Molly isn't hated. I also really really love that she's not helping, at all. Just watching Molly pack. So cute, that Lucy married the guy Roxanne wanted to marry, and Roxanne married his best friend, I feel like that happens a lot to people I know. So perfect.

Oh gosh. Laughing SO hard at the liquor comment. Priceless priceless priceless. Molly has a rational side, and I love it. I love that she's the Molly I've always imagined (head girl, prefect, etc etc), but she's also this quidditch loving, weird enthusiast who gets along with some of her cousins. Your characterization is just so lovely.

Ex-harpy but still mohawked. Perfect description. I love that he called her pretty. Or thought she was pretty. Whatever, you get what I mean! Oh, I just assumed that she got the captain position. I didn't think she had to earn it. That makes sense though, duh, people have to earn things. I'm interested in seeing how this goes down.

Awe, I wanted to hurt him when he got mad at her and yelled at her. But now that he's shown he's insecure and feels inadequate I just want to go give him a monster hug. And tell him to love Molly forever, but that's getting ahead of the story. (and I have no idea if that's even where you intend on going with it.) I am so nervous that he's NOT going to make her team captain. That would just be so upsetting and heart breaking!!

Ugh. I'm inlove with the potential ship here. I love the way both Molly and Fitz thing. They're both so sassy and stubborn and determined. I think it's great, I'm loving this dynamic, even if right now it seems like they're going to potentially kill each other. A real conversation? Oh man, I don't know if my heart can handle this. OH WAIT THE RESERVES ARE COMING IN TODAY AND THAT MEANS THAT THE GIRL HE DOESNT WANT BACK IN HIS LIFE WILL BE THERE. I'M AFRAID.

I was waiting for that argument. I knew a conversation was too good to be true. I'm still afraid for that girl to show up. And I'm determined that Molly and Fitz will be a thing (Mitz, Folly?) I'm also holding my breath and praying that Molly gets Captain and that Fitz doesn't not make her captain purely because he dislikes her. Because that would be evil and mean and I'd probably cry. Okay, maybe not cry... Probably.

Lovely chapter. Again.

xoxo LL ♥

 Report Review

Review #9, by LightLeviosa5443 The Harpy With the Mohawk

15th April 2014:
Hi WTM!! ♥

I always see you posting about Pride of Portree so I decided to finally come read it and oh my merlin am I so glad that I did. This story is so wonderful!!! I don't even know where to start with this review. I think I'm just going to re-read it and comment as I go along!

I love the way you've described Molly, that you CHOSE Molly!! I love the way she dresses, and acts and thinks. I love how she rationalizes things, and I am in love with the way she's confident but yet it feels like maybe she's not at the same time. I'm just in love with her so far. Plus, that mohawk is genius. I have a feeling this meeting is going to be great. Um, yes. Haha, trying to stay calm. I'd totally fangirl. No shame. I love that McCormack asked if she'd dye her hair. So great. I'm so happy that Molly is going to be Captain too. Oh I'm so excited about this story already.

I love Fitz. I'm so anxious to see how his relationship with Molly develops. I can tell from the way he's speaking and talking that he's going to be tough on the whole team. But part of me is wondering if he'll be even tougher (is that a word?) or nicer to Molly. I'm also curious about what's going on with Mariah Waldman. Did they date? Is this going to be a love triangle thing? I feel like I've been missing out not reading this sooner. Wait. Maybe reading the genre's of this will help me figure it out. I don't know. I'm babbling.

I love this story. Excuse me while I review every chapter. (because what's studying for class?)

xoxo Sarah ♥

Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza

 Report Review

Review #10, by StoryWebber A Fine Line

11th April 2014:
Really nice!
But are you going to continue it?
It's already in the top stories, anyhow!

Author's Response: Yes, I'm still writing. Don't worry, I never leave a story unfinished. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #11, by Hope's Mom A Fine Line

23rd March 2014:
A three hour blind walk? Ugh! NO wonder they are in a hurry to visit the pub! The team seems to be uniting in their dislike of the retreat activities if nothing else! Thank you for the update.

Author's Response: She was totally punishing them with that one. Horrible! It's certainly giving them some teamwork, if not in the way she thought. Working against her as one! Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #12, by Jen A Fine Line

23rd March 2014:
Loved it. I have such a distinct impression in my mind of what Fitz looks like... :P

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I hope your mental picture of Fitz is similar to mine ;)

 Report Review

Review #13, by fangirlfanatic A Sabotaged Sorceress

23rd February 2014:
I love this story. I've read tons of fanfiction (can't write it) but yours is prob the best I've seen. The characters are believable like the weasleys who still carry around the humor but only a bit of stupidity. Also you make each cousin their own character but you can tell they're their own person. I'm already shipping Molly and Fitz :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the story and my take on the Next Gen Weasleys. I'm always happy to hear that :) Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #14, by HGD A Sabotaged Sorceress

16th February 2014:
Yay! You updated, that was not exactly how I expected it to turn out.IT WAS WAY BETTER! I hope you update again soon!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm still working on chapter 9, hopefully it'll be ready sometime this week!

 Report Review

Review #15, by Penelope Inkwell A Sabotaged Sorceress

11th February 2014:
Yay! The team is getting along. For now. I like it! They have potential! (I bet McCormack knows how awful this place is, doesnít she? That she planned for them to bond this way? Just a guess, but she seems the type).

And I cracked up at all their rebellions. Itís exactly the sort of thing I always want to do at ďretreatĒ-type things (and yes, Iíve been on a few, though thankfully I havenít had to guide someone blindfolded since, like, middle school P.E. class).
Portree, you are our team--the team of snarky people everywhere.

Molly and Fitz, Molly and Fitz! I want them to be together. I possibly want it even more than they do, and they really seem to be beginning to want it. Loved the distance game, by the way. Hello, sexual tension ;)

I find it kind of funny that, of all the team members, Mollyís only ally at present is Jinks. You wouldnít think people with such opposite personalities would get along very well, but I like that those two do. Jinks is probably my favorite of Mollyís teammates, so Iím glad to see him get more screen time, so to speak.

And those last lines. ďOs that yer girl?Ē and ďNo, sheís not mine.Ē Agh! *Gargle/Flail of...of...Iím not even sure. Just, erm, general flailing*

Do you see what this is doing to me? Iím usually a bit more composed, you know.

Loved the new chapter. This fic always makes me smile. Itís quite well-written, and the characterization is excellent. Iíll be eagerly awaiting the next update (not to rush you, or anything. Just enjoying it).

Thanks for another great read!


Author's Response: She does seem that kind of type, doesn't she? McCormack's a smart cookie.

Portree is full of snark. And their rebellions were cracking me up when I wrote them, so I'm glad you liked them - they're pretty rotten, aren't they? I kind of feel sorry for Lefoque. She's used to corporate wizards and witches who go along with this sort of thing willingly.

When I was researching team-building activities for the retreat, I found the distance game and thought "Oh yeah." Perfect for sexual tension! I ship Molly/Fitz too.

Jinks is the sort of person who sees the bird's eye view of life. It suits him as Seeker, really. So he gets that it wasn't Molly's fault they lost the game, or even Fitz's fault. And he doesn't hold grudges. Eventually the rest of the team will come around to his point of view.

Flailing for sure! I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this chapter. I'm still working on chapter 10, will hopefully have it finished soon. I've had a lot going on lately and haven't had as much time to devote to writing.

Thank you so much for the review!

 Report Review

Review #16, by missdagane A Sabotaged Sorceress

11th February 2014:
I loved the chapter. It seems indeed pretty stupid, to do this things but it seems to help... Can't wait for the next chapter :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! Trust exercises have always seemed incredibly stupid to me too. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #17, by Hope's Mom A Sabotaged Sorceress

8th February 2014:
I have been to several of these type of retreats. They usually end up as painfully awkward experiences. The Pride players at least seem to be bonding over the ridiculousness of the activities. Molly and Fitz are in an unfortunate situation. It's fun to see them dance around each other. Thank you for the new chapter!

Author's Response: Super awkward! I hate those kind of things. I don't even like introducing myself in front of groups, though. Apparently some people love this stuff. Different strokes and all. Thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter!

 Report Review

Review #18, by evil little devil A Sabotaged Sorceress

7th February 2014:
This was a fun chapter! And Molly's right, it does seem to be working - even if they are only uniting in opposition. Better than nothing though, right? This was a really lovely chapter to read, the humour was fantastic. I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens next at the retreat.

Author's Response: Yeah, it's sort of backfiring in a positive way haha. Instead of the activities making them bond, their disdain for the activities is bringing them together. But hey, whatever works! Thanks so much for the review!

 Report Review

Review #19, by Haronione A Pack of Wild Dogs

17th January 2014:
Hello again :) here for the last of the (belated) SS reviews!

Ah, the morning after the night before. Fitz's thoughts about the kiss were great, I loved how he was hoping his memories were real and how he could picture the kiss so vividly :) Gah, why do they have to both be so sensible about it though, trying to keep it professional for the sake of the team? They'll come to their senses eventually I'm sure - their feelings for each other are evidently becoming stronger and soon they won't be able to hold them back (I'm hoping anyway ;) *hinthint*

So that game went slightly better than the last one, but I'm glad you didn't make them suddenly win - that would have been quite unbelievable! So yay! Poor Molly getting injured, but staying on despite the pain seemed like something Molly would do. I liked how Fitz was concerned about her after she was hit, and that look made it obvious he wasn't just worried about the game!

Okay, so I was very wrong when I thought that the team would be better together after the heat had died down for the argument - it made them worse! But, I guess it has to get worse before it gets better, right? I'm sure a week at the Silver Skies Sorcerer's retreat will do them a world of good. And it will be a great place for a bit more flirting between Molly and Fitz ;)

I did notice one typo in this chapter, the team immediately stated grumbling under their breath should be 'started' - I only mention it because it stood out to me (and also, it's been 7 chapters and all I've done is gush ♥ with no hint of being constructive or helpful!)

Once again this was a great chapter and I'm now a bit sad that I have reached the last of the posted chapters :( I have really enjoyed reading this, and I am so glad that I got you as my SS giftee - as I got to discover this story, which is now going in to my favourites list :D It is written brilliantly with vivid, well balanced descriptions and wonderful character interactions. You have really brought life to your characters and I now feel quite invested in them, wanting to read more about them (and of course see a happy ending for them both ;)). Thank you for such an enjoyable read, I will most definitely be looking out for more updates!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Ack I'm so embarrassed I took so long to respond to this.

They are both way too sensible! They need to jump each other. Think how much happier they'd be. Until they got caught out by McCormack, that is.

There was no way they were going to win, short of playing the Cannons (and wouldn't that have been embarrassing, if they'd lost to the Cannons?). With no reserve Keeper, Molly would never leave the team - she'd play through any injury. Way too dedicated! Fitz understands better than most about injuries, and he was definitely worried about more than just the game ;)

Things will start looking up eventually. And it does open up new possibilities for Molly and Fitz to be inescapably near each other.

Thanks for pointing that out! I hate when I mistype. I've been writing this part on my laptop and part on my iPad, and my iPad sometimes autocorrects (even with correctly spelled words!) to words it thinks I meant, which is very annoying. I keep finding them and going "What the heck?"

Well, I hope you've continued with the story now since I've posted a few more chapters. I'm working on the next one now. I'm so glad you were my Secret Santa-claws! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, I really appreciated them and loved hearing your thoughts on the story.

 Report Review

Review #20, by Haronione Magpies and Mistakes

17th January 2014:
Sorry, this review will be a bit shorter than usual, mainly because I don't have much to say other than I loved it!!

Usually I remark on things in the order they came in the fic, but I am far too happy that they finally kissed that I just have to mention that first! Yay, just yay :D You wrote that scene superbly and I could see it in my mind perfectly! But why did Molly have to go all 'professional' and pull away?! Gah! It wasn't just the kiss that made me happy, it was the whole of that scene with Fitz opening up to Molly and being honest about his feelings, and the interaction between them during the whole scene was fantastic.

I also really enjoyed the scene at the party. I really enjoyed Fitz's little inner monologues and thoughts, they were great. And the line about the underwear cracked me up :) Molly must have known what she was doing when she said that to him, the little tease! I look forward to more flirting between them :)

I felt you wrote the game really well. I am not a big fan of reading in depth Quidditch games and was worried that this chapter was going to be focused mainly on the actual game. Personally I thought you spent just the right amount of time on the game, giving enough information for readers to see how the game went but without going into a pass by pass commentary of it (which can sometimes be a bit dull, I think). And yay for Molly's purple and gold hair :D it was about time she got in the spirit of the team! Back to the game - obviously it did not go well, but that was to be expected. Although they argued after the game and the team spirit and morale was rather low, I think this loss will do the team good and once the heat has died down will bring them all closer together - after all, the game managed to bring Molly and Fitz closer together (in a different way) I am excited to see the fall out of the game, the argument/team divide and, obviously, that kiss!!

Great chapter, as always. See you at the next one!

Haronione ♥

P.s - guess I had slightly more to say than I thought ;)

Author's Response: lol - yay, I'm glad you liked the kiss! I loved writing that. It makes me happy to hear people shipping it :D Oh but it couldn't be that easy! Of course alcohol-fueled actions lead to hangover-fueled regrets.

She absolutely knew what she was doing. Punishing him for snooping around her room, that's what. ;)

Oof, Quidditch scenes kill me. I'm sort of glad Molly is Keeper, because it's an easier position for me to understand and write. I make myself do Quidditch and action scenes cause they're hard to write. Anyway. Yes, she's got Prides colors in her hair now: she deliberately waited until the first game to do it. Shame about the game, but they were never going to win with a brand-new lineup of not-star players, you know? Net benefit though of having Molly and Fitz drowning their sorrows together at the bar though!

Thanks so much for reviewing! I love hearing your thoughts on the story as it progresses. √ʬô¬•

 Report Review

Review #21, by Haronione Drills and Defense

16th January 2014:
Hello, me again :)

I think this may be my favourite chapter so far! I really enjoyed the interaction between Fitz and Max, it was like the male version of the relationship/interaction between Molly and Lucy. It made me really happy that Fitz admitted he was attracted to Molly!! Yay! More progress in the romance department! Even if he tried to deny it at first! How could he deny it though when Molly had made him nearly forget the troublesome ex-wife? I loved how he went into such detail when thinking about Molly, he has obviously been paying her a lot of attention!

Ha, obviously Fitz wouldn't take Molly's interference with training well! His reaction and the argument between him and Molly was great - they needed to clear the air and get rid of some the tension.

Gah, for a split second I thought Fitz was going in to see McCormack to resign, but then breathed a sigh of relief when he said 'you wanted to see me' but then I started worrying she was going to sack him! But neither happened, and for tht I am glad :) I'm also glad that his little chat with McCormack made him see reason about Molly and her attempts to help with training!

Gah!! I really thought they were going to kiss then! I love their interactions away from work :) you really build up the tension between them well and believably! I have a feeling there may be a few more of these little incidents before they actually kiss (for I am sure they will, and I'm looking forward to that)

Another great chapter and I can't wait to see how the match with the Magpies goes! I'm guessing it won't go too well!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm pretty fond of Max, so I'm glad to hear you liked him. And of course Fitz is paying very close attention ;) he just hates to admit it, even to his good buddy.

Oh no, he was definitely not going to take that well. Completely losing his head is more like it. He's touchy and has a temper. But, fortunately Molly's not the type to put up with that.

McCormack's got more faith in him than he has in himself at this point. And, of course there's the fact that experienced Quidditch coaches aren't exactly thick on the ground, so replacing him wouldn't be easy to do. At least McCormack can knock some sense into him!

Yay sexual tension! Good, I'm glad it's coming out well - it's fun to write, and it's nice to hear it's translating out of my head ;)

Thanks so much for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #22, by Haronione Flight and Family

16th January 2014:
Hello again, momotwins, it's you (not so) Secret Santa finally back with another review :) I apologise I did not get all the reviews to you sooner, but life became a bit manic! I will get all the reviews you were promised done and I plan to follow this story as more is posted :D

Anyway, on with the review! As always, this was brilliantly written and a thoroughly good read :) Ha, I loved that his Healer was Hugo Weasley! And the line 'Good God. Every time he turned around, there was a Weasley. There must be hundreds of them.' cracked me up! His thoughts about there being hundreds of them probably wasn't too far off the truth :P heehee. I can understand why he would be dubious about letting Molly's cousin treat him, even if, as a Healer, Hugo would be bound to confidentially, I would probably be the same. I am interested to see where Hugo's research into Fitz's injury leads! Fitz really is touchy about his injury isn't he (which is understandable considering it is a life changing one), does he learn to deal with this eventually?

Ah, I knew as soon as Fitz was heading to the pitch with his broom that Molly would be there - well, I actually thought she would turn up while he was flying, which wasn't far off the mark as she did spy on him flying! His reaction to her being there was great and I loved that when he was so angry he was cursing his shoulder, the team, his ex-wife and then eventually Molly, with the added detail of her tight trousers :) it was a great touch! Already I want them to just recognise and admit that they like each other! As I said in the last review, they need to see each other away from work and quidditch and just learn to accept that mutual attraction :D

I really loved the scene between Molly and Lucy, it was really lovely, they were just so relaxed and comfortable together. And I loved that Molly admitted to Lucy that she was attracted to Fitz, that's a step forward ;) and also that she defended him when Lucy infers that he is stupid :)

Actually I loved the whole scene at Percy's house. I really liked your portrayal of Percy. He was still the slightly pompous character we saw in the books but he was also loving and caring and family orientated. I don't usually have much time for Percy as he is often portrayed much as he is in the books when he is younger, but I actually like your Percy :)

I look forward to seeing whether Molly does start ignoring Fitz's drills and just doing her own and seeing how Fitz reacts to that! I think that will be rather interesting :)

Great chapter! See you at the next one!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hi there! That's totally okay, because it turned out to take me months to respond to them (I'm sorry!).

Hugo finished his Healer licensure! He was a trainee Healer in the Rose stories, so now he's fully qualified and working in sports medicine ;) When he was a training, he was studying spell damage and injuries, which is pretty good crossover for Quidditch, I thought. There are a lot of Weasleys around, aren't there? ;) Fitz is very touchy about it. We'll see where that goes - I hate to give away plot points.

Poor Fitz, he's got a lot of bottled-up rage over his injury and very few opportunities to vent it. He needs a friend. I enjoyed writing his cursing everyone and everything under the sun there, especially Molly's tight trousers, so I'm glad you liked that ;)

I like writing the sister scenes. I've got more Lucy/Hilarion appearances planned. Percy I think will always be pompous, but as an adult I think he's a well-meaning guy. His heart is in the right place - I think he learned his lesson in the war days. And he does love his family. Molly is sort of the apple of his eye.

Thanks so much for reviewing! It really means a lot to me :)

 Report Review

Review #23, by L. Dunn A Pack of Wild Dogs

9th January 2014:
Love what you've written so far; can't wait to see what happens at the retreat. You 've done a wonderful job on your characters; can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm working on finishing up chapter 9 this week.

 Report Review

Review #24, by QkStephen The New Lineup

4th January 2014:
I like it. your style is intruiging

Author's Response: Thanks very much! :)

 Report Review

Review #25, by Bigfan A Pack of Wild Dogs

2nd January 2014:
Very nice little spin there at the end! I really hope the team can pull together after this! Please update soon and I hope you have a comeback planned out for the team. Sorry that I haven't been reviewing, I don't do it very often because I'm just too into the plot. Oh and I've read most of your other stories and I think you're a great writer, I sincerely hope that you will continue! Also if you hadn't already planned for it, a rematch against the Magpies would be really cool after the Prides have pulled it together.

Author's Response: I don't want to spoil the plot so I'm going to keep my lips zipped about a comeback possibility ;) It's okay about not reviewing every chapter, I totally understand. I'm glad you were into it! I'm still in progress with chapter 8, hoping to have it up next week. Now that I will say - yes, they will play the Magpies again later in the season. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>