Reading Reviews for Miracle in the Making
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by CambAngst A Flicker of Hope

4th April 2014:
Hi, Roxi! Review #997, coming at you!

For someone who hasn't been there, you write a really good pregnant lady! The nonstop roller coaster of emotions, the feeling of needing to keep the whole world safe, the dramatic mood swings... all perfectly in character. I love how she could go from being infuriated with Frank one moment to feeling overwhelmed by her love for him the next. Terrific job with that.

I love the amount of responsibility she feels for her fellow Order members. It seemed like Dumbledore nearly had to drag her into hiding. Even now, she can't stop feeling responsible for the others and worrying for their safety. It's a very motherly way to be.

Frank was adorable in this. Poor guy is so far out of his element. So much for the seasoned, hardened dark wizard hunter. She nearly had to slap him to get him moving when her contractions started.

I loved the quiet sort of affection you created between the two of them. So much was unspoken because words weren't required. It's a very deep, very mature sort of love.

He drops the potion! D'oh! That could earn you a lifetime of sleeping on the couch right there. ;)

Suggestions? Well, I have to say that I wasn't wild about the pet name "Pinky". There's something really... I don't know, diminishing about it. It also made me think of the pink ghost from the original Pac-Man video game.

On a more substantive note, you had a few sentences near the start that were sort of long and awkward. This one really stuck out: She felt especially guilty for leaving them now, with danger closing in tighter than ever before particularly because she was not the only one who had to go into hiding to deliver her baby safely. -- I felt like you should have had at least one more comma before "particularly", or preferably broken it up into shorter, tighter sentences.

Overall, it was a really engaging, happy read. Nice to see Frank and Alice in one of the happy moments of their life. Because we know that they weren't afforded very many. :(

Good job!

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Review #2, by Siriusgirl A Flicker of Hope

6th September 2013:
First off, you're welcome and thank you for writing this :)
Neville is one of my favourite characters and reading about the birth of the boy who could have been in Harry's position, and who turned out to be one of the most awesome people and wonderful characters was great.
I love this entry, so touching. Frank and Alice are a wonderful couple, makes me even sadder to know what happens to them.
Wonderful entry, 10/10!
Thanks again for your entry

Author's Response: Hey!
Thank you for issuing this challenge. It really made me think about Frank and Alice beyond generalities you know? I am planning a story with them and this challenge has helped me try out my hand at a voice for them both as individuals, and as a couple. I think it needs a bit of fine tuning, but I am on the right track.

Yeah, what Frank and Alice went through is definitely heart-wrenching. Putting myself in their shoes is very, very hard. They didn't deserve any of it but I guess this is how things happen. People that fight for a good cause will almost surely end up having this fate :(

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Review #3, by toomanycurls A Flicker of Hope

6th September 2013:
Frank and Alice are so stinking cute together. I really like how you've put in the tenderness between them mixed with a touch of strife. I can imagine that poor Alice is stressed to the max at being pregnant, about to give birth, and a target from Voldemort! She seems the right amount of nervous/scared for that.

Her labor and birth are beautifully written. It's hard to know what bits of magic play in with medicine but you wrote that scene with a great mix of things you'd really need with items wizards could do better.

This really plucked some emotional strings for me. Frank and Alice were two unsung heroes of the first war; their relationship was just as tragic and James/Lily. I love how you gave them depth and a voice.

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