Reading Reviews for Hiding In Front of You
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Shadowkat Hiding In Front of You

11th July 2015:
House Cup, Ravenclaw!

I don't see many stories about Frank and Alice in hiding, so this was something I was really interested to see. I feel like these two don't get represented nearly as much as they should. You did a fantastic job writing this, and I could feel the emotions, the tense moments, the happy ones, etc. They just really came through.

I feel so sad thinking about what all Neville won't have after now. I've always wondered if he was watching as his parents went mad, though I'd guess they'd have hidden him if that was the case, or else Bellatrix and the other Death Eaters probably would have killed him. I can't think of any other reason though for him to be so late at showing magic, the shock he went through. At least Harry would only have seen a flash of light.

I imagine Bella would have been a lot more violent.

Great story, and expect more from me soon!

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you for your review! I agree that Neville was either hidden away or else was somewhere else that fateful night.

Thank you!

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Review #2, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Hiding In Front of You

1st March 2014:
For Blackout Bingo.


The thought of having anyone, whether the grimy man or Voldemort, looking through my window is just freaky. I'd have panicked, too. I'm so proud of Neville for staying calm. Harry Potter may have saved the world, but Neville is still a hero. *loves Neville*

I find it very plausible that Voldemort would have gone looking for the Longbottoms as well; he chose Harry as his equal, the one who had to die so he wouldn't, but the prophecy still spoke of both of them - I can imagine Voldemort wanting to rid the world of them both, just to be sure.

I really enjoyed reading your take on their situation.


Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I don't think that Voldemort realized that he would be marking Harry as his equal as he only heard the first part of the prophecy.

I wish we could have seen more about Neville leading the DA while the Trio was hunting Horcruxes because it seems like both Harry and Neville played a very important part in defeating Voldemort.

Thank you!

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Review #3, by Akussa Hiding In Front of You

13th February 2014:
A very horrible shiver just went down my spine after reading this. There are so few stories written about Frank and Alice during the war and they must have gone through the exact same ordeal as Lily and James considering they were also in hiding.

This story was so well done, I could feel their fear, understand it as well as their pride and the happiness they managed to find in the little moments. I was simply terrified when Voldemort was seen through the window... My only comfort is that I know they still had a couple days / weeks to go before they would get attacked.
Which isn't comforting at all because they would have begun living in evn much more fear until their friends died. And then they'd think they were safe only to be attacked when they least suspected it... My god their story is horrible...

Well, that was very well written and a great read no matter how hard for the heart it was!!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

This story was a little more difficult to write. I can't even say how long I contemplated Voldemort's actions for that night based on what we know of him in the series.

I agree that their story was horrible, grieving for their friends and when they started to feel safe... *sigh*

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #4, by Siriusgirl Hiding In Front of You

6th September 2013:
Hi, Coppertop here for the Frank and Alice Longbottom Challenge :)
This was a really great entry. It really does capture the fear and uncertainty they must have felt, not knowing if they were going to be safe. Interesting having Alice notice Peter was out of character, something an Auror would do. I wonder if they thought about that when the learned the Potters died.
Nice touch not having Neville cry when he sees Voldemort, almost foreshadowing the awesome character he became!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I hadn't thought about that. Though if they stayed in hiding without others visiting to let them know what happened, then Peter would have already set Sirius up to take the blame for betraying the Potters.

I thought long about it and disagree with Dumbledore on one thing - that Voldemort specifically chose Harry that night. Voldemort would have wanted to make certain that the Prophecy would not come about except in his favor.

I also wanted to show that Neville was probably just as strong as Harry as a baby but it's very likely that dealing with what happened to his parents and then having to use his father's wand probably affected his magic - much like Tonks.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #5, by blackballet Hiding In Front of You

4th September 2013:
Hello! I'm here with your requested review, and I apologize for it taking such a long time!

Regarding the problems you mentioned on the forums: I think this was very interesting, and I always always want to read and write more about Alice and Frank at this time. It's not really widely recognized that they must have been just as scared as Lily and James. The dialogue was good and realistic. It was a nice tilt to Peter's character when Frank mentioned something about him acting strangely during the meeting.

I think your inner monologue with Alice was definitely a strong point, because that's mostly what this consists of. One sentence that struck me as odd was: Neville made his unsteady way over to.
It should be Neville made his way unsteadily.

It even scared me a bit when Alice saw the man and then Voldemort, but I'm a bit confused as to whether or not they're both Voldemort. That doesn't really matter, but I just had to mention that part because I could really feel her fear if you know what I mean.

Overall, I really liked this and I love what you've done with the characters and story!


Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I thought that Peter had to have been showing differences in his character about that time given that everyone seemed to remember that he was weak-willed.

I've made the correction to the sentence you pointed out. Thank you!

No, the first person at the window was a Death Eater scouting out the house. Voldemort only stopped by on Halloween.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #6, by Erised Hiding In Front of You

22nd August 2013:
Hi Lily! :)

This was a really nice one shot to read! I think what I enjoyed most about this was the pure love that Frank and in particular Alice had for Neville throughout the entire story. It really put them on the same level as Lily and James Potter in that sense, and you made it clear that they would do anything for their son which was really nice to read.

I also really enjoyed all of the little details that you included in here which really brought the story to life, like the little red birds and the gigantic teddy bear. They made me giggle and were nice little touches that you would probably see in a wizarding boy's childhood, and so added a level of authenticity to the story.

I'm really glad you added in the parts about talking about Neville's future because they once again really lift the story! I think Alice's fear for him makes her even stronger as a character and a mother and it really highlights the constant fear that they lived in during the First Wizarding War. I really enjoyed those bits!

And lastly the part with the scary man and Voldemort were really well written. I loved how Neville didn't really notice who he was at the window and so didn't treat him any differently - a child's innocence is really something. Also I liked that he passed over their house because it makes the story seem like a missing moment on that fateful night.

I really enjoyed this! Well done! :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I'm glad you enjoyed it. At times I didn't think I'd get to finish it because the words were just not there.

It was fun writing about the accidental magic that Neville was doing as a toddler. :)

This story came from a thought about what if Voldemort didn't only choose Harry but Neville was more protected that fateful night. A thought that came when I realized that it was the combined efforts of Harry and Neville that brought about the defeat of Voldemort.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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