Reading Reviews for As Darkness Descends
  
38 Reviews Found

Review #1, by OliviaPotter Moving Forward

21st July 2014:
It has honestly been months and I am dying! Please explain why you have stopped writing!! Your writing is adored by everyone!!

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Review #2, by MidnightFelicis Moving Forward

21st July 2014:
Ok, so I just read your two chapters and I am totally hooked!! I saw that you haven't updated anything for quite some time and I would really appreciated it if you could spend some time to continue with this story. Your writing is flawless and truly hooks the reader. I am begging you with others to please divulge us into your enticing story line.

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Review #3, by nott theodore Moving Forward

12th July 2014:
Hi again, Jami!

I really enjoyed this chapter as well. I like the way that you're writing the grief - it's still there for all of them, and Sirius in particular - but they deal with it in different ways that feel in line with the characters that you've created here. And at the same time, they're starting to move forward and move on with their lives because it can't all just halt. Life goes on. It's hard to accept - especially for Sirius - but it has to.

I loved the Lily and James moments in this chapter, and the way that Lily finally turned round and made a decision. The friendship between James and Sirius was great as well, with the way that James is trying to get Sirius to realise he needs to snap out of it. I don't think he will quite yet, but I hope he does soon!

I know that you've had a lot going on and you've been away from this site for a while. Even so, I love this story already - and we're only two chapters in! I hope that you manage to find your way back at some point and carry on writing this, because this story is beautiful and I'd love to know what happens if you get the chance to carry on with it!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #4, by nott theodore Midnight Meetings

12th July 2014:
Hi Jami!

Yay, the sequel, I'm finally here! I can hardly believe it since I've been so, so behind everyone else on reading these stories but I've finally made it (thanks to the house cup) and I loved this chapter!

I'm really glad that this story opened with the characters still trying to deal with Belle's death. I'm still trying to come to terms with it myself so it felt like there was more continuity with that. I think that you wrote all of the characters dealing with her death really well, because something so close to them will have hit them all really badly. I'm glad for James and Lily that they still have each other to comfort them because it must help so much.

I felt so, so sorry for Sirius in this chapter. Of course he isn't dealing with it well - not that I expected he would. He's quite a reckless character, as we see in the books, and turning to alcohol as a coping mechanism doesn't surprise me all that much.

I hate Bellatrix so, so much right now for what she did to Belle. But at the same time, she's so captivating to read about and I love the way you portray her - I keep saying this, but you write her so well!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #5, by Pretense Of Perfection Moving Forward

18th June 2014:
Ah, please please update this soon!

I can't stand not knowing what happens...even though I do know what happens in the end, if that makes any sense.

Sirius is legit breaking my heart over here. He's saying she wasn't the love of his life, but she was. His pain is so real, but he tries to ignore it. I honestly think that's the only thing he can do right now. While it isn't healthy to suppress your emotions, sometimes you need to for a while to actually wrap your head and heart around what life will mean from the moment you lost your love, and a future without them in it. Everything changed for him.

I think he'll end up pulling it togetehr everntually, and in his own time. Everyone grieves differently, and while I don't support him riding his bike totally sloshed, I can see why he wouldn't really think anything of it.

I'm rambling now. I really loved the Sirius/James moment at the end, when James pretty much tells him that he needs to be a bit more careful with regards to his own life.

I can't wait to see chapter three!!

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Review #6, by Pretense Of Perfection Midnight Meetings

18th June 2014:
An awesome start to the sequel.

I feel like everything regarding their sorrow for Belle is pretty realistic, except for Lily and James saying that they hurt as badly as Sirius. While this may be true, there is no pain like losing a lover, save for perhaps a child. Losing friends is a terrible thing, but I can assure you, Sirius' pain would more than likely be more severe, and on the opposite end perhaps just different, from his friends.

I'm not at all surprised by the way that he's reacted to her death though. He seems to be very in character, to me at least. His heart is broken and he's just not dealing with it, which is coincidentally the only way that he knows how to deal with it.

As much as I want to strangle Bella for killing Belle, I still love reading about her. It's interesting to know the opposite end of the spectrum in this war, and she definitely provides valuable insight for us as the reader.

Excellent job!!

Author's Response: Hi there, I just wanted to say think you SO MUCH for all your amazing reviews. I've been in the middle of a long, drawn out military move with my fiance for months now. But we're finally to our new state and in the processes of closing on our house, so once life gets settled I'm going to make answering all your reviews and updating this story my first priority.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate your feedback, comments, and most of all how happy it makes me that you liked the story. Even now, after not writing about the group for almost a year, just reading your reviews makes me feel like I'm ready to jump head first into the story again.

Anyway, I didn't want you to think I wasn't seeing your reviews. I hate answering out of order like this, but I just had to tell you how much they've made my smile!!!

-Jami


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Review #7, by TheLastFreeElf Moving Forward

14th April 2014:
I see that the last time you posted was in September, which is really too bad because this and Before They Fall were the most engrossing thing I've read since the original series. You really made me fall in love with these characters (and Belle ): ) more than I thought was possible. I think you have so much potential with this, and so many things left to write about (Frank and Alice's wedding, James and Lily getting engaged, William and Olivia dying, Snape hearing the prophecy and switching sides, Peter turning, James and Lily's wedding, Gideon and Fabian Prewett dying like heros (for some reason that always sticks with me), Harry and Neville born around the same time, James and Lily's death, Pettigrew escaping, Frank and Alice's torture, oh and finding a way to end this whole thing off without making me cry myself to sleep for weeks). I might sound like I'm trying to bully you about it, but if anyone tells this story I think it should be you. Seriously, you're amazing, and I hope whatever it is that stopped you writing clears up so you can get back in the saddle soon.

-Mike

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Review #8, by aidsespasmoc Moving Forward

12th March 2014:
This is my favorite story. i love your writing!! please update soon :) kiss*

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Review #9, by K Moving Forward

20th February 2014:
I've been reading your stories and LOVE them. I actually made an acct JUST so I could keep tr&ck of your book (Before They Fall) and continue reading this one.
Just sending out encouragement and wondering if/when you were going to start writing again.
Can't wait to continue reading about the gang!

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Review #10, by Ravenclawgirl Moving Forward

15th February 2014:
just a friendly reminder from a big fan that it has been 5 months and 1 day since you last updated. I still check every week to see if you have updated and wait for you to post another magnificant chapter. I would aslo like to add that this is my favourite fanfic EVER (that is both this book and Before they fall.) I hope you are well and that you post soon

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Review #11, by NightRook4510 Moving Forward

12th January 2014:
Please update! I love this and the prequel.

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Review #12, by Eve Moving Forward

2nd December 2013:
Really hope you update this soon! Just read the prequel and this story and ABSOLUTELY loved it. Really hoping James and lily will find some happiness soon.

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Review #13, by EbonyBlack13 Moving Forward

3rd November 2013:
when are u updating??

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Review #14, by Rusty Moving Forward

31st October 2013:
Hey!
So I just wanted to let you know I'm totally addicted to this story after reading book 1 this past week or so (I have uni exams at the moment and reading a few chapters has been my study break everyday haha!)
You're such an amazing writer and your characterisations are brilliant!
I really hope you update soon, I can't wait to find out what happens next! I totally understand if you're too busy to though :)

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Review #15, by JamesPotterReborn Moving Forward

26th October 2013:
We haven't heard from you in so long... I miss you! Please update quickly =( I know, I know, "patience is a virtue"... WELL IT'S A BORING VIRTUE! Please update ASAP so we can read more of your amazing writing!

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Review #16, by CambAngst Moving Forward

19th September 2013:
Hi, Jami! Long time, no see. I really hope we can get our groove back soon.

I think my favorite thing about Lily's section was how you developed the theme of "lost innocence" without letting it completely dominate the scene. From her choice of seating to the way she makes sure that the others know where she is to the relentless focus on personal safety, you gradually layer on the supporting information in the context of showing us the life she's started to settle into since Belle's death. Even as every member of the group is taking precautions to keep themselves and their friends safe, their lives are moving on. They're all living crazy sorts of double lives, in many senses of the term. I thought this line summed it up rather succinctly:

But she wouldn't stop living. Not when she still had a beating heart. -- Gulp. Too bad that won't actually be for all that much longer. :(

I also love the idea of her volunteering at St. Mungo's. Aside from the fact that it's perfectly consistent with her personality, I think there are lots of really interesting places you can go with that situation. She'll definitely be in a position to obtain medical supplies for the Order, as well as possibly overhear a thing or two.

You really had me chuckling out loud with the image of Sirius stabbing an oil filter with a screwdriver to try to break it loose. I, um, might have seen that trick attempted before. I've definitely seen James's trick with the belt, although it doesn't work nearly as well after some fool pokes a hole in the filter and lets oil leak all over the place. ;)

I thought you built up to James's outburst really well. You start him off in this mindset where he seems to feel guilty about not feeling enough grief. It's a different sort of twist on survivor's guilt, and one that would have come pretty natural to a leader like James. He always seems to internalize whatever is happening to the group, and watching the others all struggle with their grief and pain must have been awful for him in a completely different way. Especially Sirius. In a way, he's lost a very important part of his best friend along with losing a friend.

And what is this? James is even a bit happy with the way that Lily is rubbing off on him? I like the way he assessed the bargain in his head and decides that it's worth it.

The nickname they gave the other girl at Hogwarts was just perfect. It's really nice to have moments like that where you take us back to a more fun and innocent time!

Ah, another moment of powerful unrequited sexual tension between Lily and James! This story has so many layers going on, sometimes I feel like I need a scorecard to keep track of all of the subplots. Their relationship is still a work in progress, no matter how wonderful everything seems. I got this feeling of hunger from James while I was reading. There's no other way to describe it. He's hungry to keep moving their relationship forward even though Belle's death obviously makes it feel like this isn't the time. For these two, I'm afraid, it will probably never seem like the right time. So I'm really hoping that they just go for it anyway! To that end, I love the way that she finally puts the rooming arrangements to rest. Go, Lily!

Then comes the moment you'd been building toward for the entire chapter. James finally gives Sirius the what-for that he's really been needing to hear, I think. You did it in a really good way. I don't feel like either one of them surrendered their Man Card unconditionally. There was alcohol involved, and violence, although the violence was directed toward the alcohol, so kudos for thinking outside of the box. ;) James even feels appropriately guilty for doing what needed to be done, which I thought was a great little touch. And it didn't end with some huge, overdone, "I LOVE YOU MAN!" moment between the two of them. Sirius admits how much losing Belle still hurts in a way that's quintessentially him. Then James keeps it low-key in response, just a simple, "look, dude, pull it together." Sublime!

I can't really say much else about this chapter. Once again, you flex your amazing command over these characters and produce a winner!

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Review #17, by Morgana Tales Moving Forward

15th September 2013:
I am completely fine with the lack of updates. We all get busy at this time of year. Take me for example. I have started my first year of a brand new school, and the layout is totally different from last year. It is hard to adjust to something new after you get comfortable with something after being used to it for around seven years. It is hard. Also, I have a lot of dental problems going on. Tomorrow I am getting a tooth pulled for the first time ever. Then a cavity filled. Then they will try to save one of my teeth. Then getting part of my gum cut and extended. Then braces. And to have a young girl say she will have all of this happen before the year is up is shocking to me. My next few months will be very painful indeed. Well, enough about me. We shall talk about the chapter now. I have read stories where people forget about it for around 5-6 months and come back and act like nothing happened. You, on the other hand, actually apologize, and give us a legitimate reason for the lack of chapters. Now, on to the actual chapter. This is definitely a great start to the book. You have each and everyone show there feelings to past events that happens to them, and how they still grieve over the lose of their friend. You can't write a story/fanfiction and just have a huge plot twist in the second chapter. You need to build up on emotions, and add extra understandings to the characters. That is exactly what you did with Belle. If I am going to be honest with you, I would say that in the beginning I hated Belle. I felt that she had no meaning to the book, and was just a character that annoyed everyone and had was created for the neck of it. But, as the book went on, she started showing a purpose. She was Sirius' girlfriend. And, just when you start to love her and soften up to her well thought out character, she leaves you for good. You have obviously made a fantastic memorable character, and it puts a frown on my face every time she is mentioned, because it plays the images of her death scene in my brain. And I honestly can't believe I said so much about Belle. Wow. You see what you do to people? I still will stand by this story, even if you skip a few months of updates. This story is to amazing for me to give up on, so I will always be with you for every single update. You hear me? Now, on a side note- THIS IS THE LONGEST REVIEW I HAVE EVER MADE! IS IT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?! :3 ~Morgan

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Review #18, by Hagrid21 Moving Forward

15th September 2013:
I wonder how long Sirius is going to be in this alcoholic state. I don't quite think he's reached his turning point yet, but he'll probably do a better job at hiding it after James snapped at him (and definitely not go anywhere near his bike after he's had a few).

It's curious how differently Belles death has affected Lily as opposed to Sirius. They're both clearly grieving and it's not about who misses her more, but Lily is using it as motivation to be more alert at all times and to give back as much as she can. I don't know what it'll take to get Sirius to channel his grief into something productive, but hopefully it won't be somebody else getting hurt as a result of his reckless behavior.

You do such a good job of writing your characters, especially when their going through so much emotional turmoil. Their closeness really shines through in this chapter, and they just keep growing closer as their own little family. Feel free to take all the time you need to write the next chapter because you can't rush quality like this.

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Review #19, by Courtney Dark Moving Forward

14th September 2013:
You're back! Yay! I have seriously been looking forward to this chapter ever since I read the last one and it certainly didn't disappoint! I can't even begin to describe how amazing your writing is because it's just so perfect - exactly what I always wanted to see in a Marauders fic and...okay, I'm going to slow down and take it one step at a time.

You write grief so, so well, and I can definitely see that Belle's death has taken its toll on each character differently, and that they are dealing with their grief in different ways. Your Lily in this chapter reminded me a lot of all her characteristics you developed it the first book - how she has this need to be doing something. However even though she is definitely the same character from book one, I can already see that she has matured, that she is trying to fit into this dark and scary adult world and do the best with it she can.

And there's there's Sirius:( This whole chapter I just wanted to leap into the screen and give him a big hug because he's dealing with his grief so badly! I can see, from last chapter to this one, that he is slowly improving, but I just feel so, so bad for him! But seriously, you do an incredibly job of writing Sirius, definitely the best portrayal I've ever read - I can totally see him becoming the Sirius from the HP books.

The motorbike scene was really good! How on earth did you write it? I would have been completely clueless - but anyway, I think the thing I liked most about this chapter is that we got to see a little more development of relationships - particularly the relationship between James and Lily and James and Sirius.

Sorry for the extremely muddly, probably difficult to understand review - just know that I am absolutely loving this sequel so far and can't wait to read more!

Courtney:)

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Review #20, by Owlpost68 Moving Forward

14th September 2013:
I really liked this chapter. I'm very happy to see it too :)
I feel like the death of Lily's parents made her stronger to deal with Belle's death, standing up to Sirius about his drinking, and coming to the conclusion she more wanted to stay with James than avoid what happened in the apartment. I'm also happy to hear Remus has some work with Diggle, and gives us more explanation why he was also the one to look after the Dursley's when they had to go into hiding.
Good job, I can't wait to see them go to James' house :)

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Review #21, by patronus_charm Moving Forward

14th September 2013:
Jami! Iím meant to be asleep but I couldnít resist coming over :D

Lilyís reaction to Belleís death was really heart breaking because seeing her like that after three weeks was just ♥. I wanted to go and hug her because even though she wasnít crying it was the little things such as counting back the weeks and the big focus on trying to act normal. The way she was deliberately sitting in that seat and had to create such an elaborate disguise for it was a massive give away. Basically, I loved her reaction to Belleís death as it was really accurate in my opinion.

Small side note Ė I liked how she still needed a purpose and wanted to do something as it reminded me a lot of what we saw of her in BTF so it was great that there was something still recognisable.

I liked the fact that Sirius was beginning to show outward signs of improvement such as smirking and playing with his motorbike engine, but I can see what James meant about the grief lurking underneath as I really sensed it there. Reading Jamesí thoughts about the workings of Siriusí mind really broke my heart as I got a sense of what caused what thought and knowing it was due to his mother made me want to go and do something similar to what Belle did to her.

I also really liked Jamesí thoughts about Belle too, because it made perfect sense that he would not grieve about her as much. I know it sounds harsh, but I can understand why he was more upset about Lily being upset because that was something living and he could witness the reaction right there and have an emotion triggered by it. That doesnít make much sense even in my head so I hope you get the gist of it.

I miss not having Alice and Frank around as much, but I guess itís the natural progression towards the five of them which is what we know really well. Then with Lily and James moving in together it will only strengthen that idea. Aw, Iím so excited for that! ♥ Though it will probably bring a lot more arguments with them being in close quarters all the time, it will bring more fluff which is the best bit :P

James is officially declared awesome! His and Siriusí bromance had their peak point in this chapter with the talking to James gave him. It was so well needed and Iím so glad that it happened with the end result. I have a feeling that this wonít be the end of it with Sirius as he does a long time to recover but when he made the point about wanting to see Belle again it did give me some hope and that is something.

A brilliant chapter, Jami, and I canít wait for the next, do enjoy your holiday though and donít spend all the time writing! :D

-Kiana

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Review #22, by DreamBelieveAchieve Moving Forward

14th September 2013:
It was so good to see that you updated! Ive been checking multiple times a week, and this was a pleasant surprise. X)

I'm absolutely loving this book, even more than the previous one, if possible, and its only been two chapters. I like the more mature feel, now that the characters are finally out in the adult world.

You've written beautifully about the impact Belle's death has had on the group, it's so realistic and heartbreaking. I particularly liked that James isnt as torn up about it as Sirius, Lily or Alice, it would have seemed insincere if he had been since he wasnt as close to her.

Lily and James are permanently moving in together, yaaayy! That was such a great scene when he touches her hair, so sensual and romantic. I cant wait for all the upcoming James-Lily cuteness and romance, it's been a longtime coming.

Im sosososo excited about the next chapters and this book as a whole. So psyched!

-Deeksha

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Review #23, by Abbey Rose Midnight Meetings

6th September 2013:
Great! Just fabulous lke al you other wokr!! ;) hope for more soon! xox

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Review #24, by MuggleMaybe Midnight Meetings

2nd September 2013:
I just got back from being out of town (and without my computer) for several weeks, and I was so hopeful when I realized today that you might have posted something from the new book... and you did! And it is AMAZING!!!

This is a very promising first chapter. It's definitely on the dark side, but considering the inevitable end of the story, I think it's absolutely perfect.

I think you might be my favorite... I can't wait to read chapter two!

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Review #25, by CambAngst Midnight Meetings

27th August 2013:
New Jami story in the house! Yay!

There's something about the fact that we're jumping headfirst into this new adventure that admittedly feels a bit odd. I'm not over Belle's death yet. Not by a long shot. But the feelings are still so close to the surface that it was easy to reconnect and feel as though the continuity was never lost. It seems that poor Lily feels the same way, and it makes me want to hug her that much more. I love that she's pretty much decided to kick propriety to the curb and do what she needs to do in order to feel safe and soothed. She's taking care of herself, and in doing so I think she's going a long way toward taking care of the others, as well. As always, the strength and the depth of the friendship you've created between your characters is as heart-warming as it is amazing.

I really liked the way that you wrote Lily's awakening as well as the way that James's presence helps her to realize that everything is alright. That was clever. It sounds as though you've been there before. And then there was this: Now here she was again, lying awake in a pitch black room, trying to hold herself together as she imagined the face of her best friend. If she'd only known how little time she had left with Belle... -- I think we can all relate. :(

Another line that really jumped out at me: She and James kept their curtains closed tightly against the world, partly to stop the sun from assaulting them, partly to create a feeling of security that was probably far from real. -- It's awful to realize that almost any feeling of safety in the world these characters inhabit now is an illusion.

I loved Lily's little meditation on moonlight and the stars. It was really neat to have a small moment in this relatively heavy chapter where her mind manages to escape all of the fear and grief and dwell on something pleasant for a while.

Then Sirius comes along, and the mood of the chapter changes again. I can't stop feeling awful and empty for the poor guy. This story has cast a completely different light on the character for me, and that head canon now seeps into my perception in every story I read about him. I thought you did a great job of writing him. There are shades of the old Sirius trying to peek through, but it's still way too soon. The complete lack of concern for his own well-being and the way that he just shuts down as soon as Belle's name came up seemed perfectly natural for this stage of his grieving.

James came and sat beside them, he and Sirius still going on about something, and it brought a rare feeling of lightheartedness to Lily. She wished for a moment that she could slip out of the room and to the flat across the hall, wake up Peter and Remus then send a Patronus to Alice and Frank... they could all be gathered in the living room, joking and teasing the same way they had so many times in the Headsí Quarters. -- Oh, lord, yes. This! How I long for those light-hearted moments from the first book. I'd almost be willing to go back to James and Lily doing the awkward, "should we or shouldn't we?" dance. Almost. ;)

James is such a good friend to Sirius! It added a bit to Lily's character that even as brilliant and perceptive as she is, she can't quite get her head around why Sirius would need to blow off steam in a completely dangerous and destructive sort of way. It's a total guy thing and there was no way on earth that she should have "got it".

On to dear Bella, making her inaugural appearance in the new story. As always, you've captured that madly intense devotion she feels to her master. One kind of wonders how she would have reacted if Molly had only incapacitated her and she lived to see Voldemort fall. What would she have made of it? Most likely she would have simply lost the rest of her mind and just shut down, but there's an outside chance that she would have gone out in a ridiculous blaze of glory. That's neither here not there, though. For the moment, you can tell that she is completely in her element.

I love the way that Snape's emotional control frustrates her! There's a pattern that will persist for many years to come. Such an awesome little touch!

The initiation ceremony, itself, was wickedly intense. The Dark Lord's words were pitch-perfect for such an occasion. He plays his followers like fiddles, telling them exactly what they want and expect to hear. And then he turns Bellatrix loose on Mulciber and Avery. This ain't like joining the Rotary Club...

Awesome start, my dear! I can't wait to kick this story into high gear. Actually, scratch that. I can wait. Because I know how it ends. Whimper...

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