Reading Reviews for And Baby Makes Three
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Secret Santa And Baby Makes Three

6th January 2014:
Here's another very belated gift! But I say no time is the wrong time for some Christmas cheer... so ho ho ho!!
I adored this story. So much. I acknowledge the fact that I am biased due to my undying love for Lily and James, but this was just written well. You were spot on about how Sirius would react and I love that you captured the characters so well. I also love that you made it realistic, adding in the worries and stresses of being a couple with one person working as an Auror.
Well done! I loved loved loved it :)

Author's Response: So sorry for the late response real life has been crazy lately. Thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm so glad that you thought I captured the characters well. I'm going to eventually write a companion piece to this about the birth of Harry so keep your eyes open for it. Thanks again

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Review #2, by Rumpelstiltskin And Baby Makes Three

25th November 2013:
Hello! Here from review tag.

Aw, this is such a cute idea!

Lily's initial reaction was priceless. It makes sense, though. She's still young, recently married and in the midst of a war. But she shouldn't have to worry about telling James, he seems like he would take it well.

Ah, just as I expected. Happy James :).

Oh, poor Sirius, all sulky and such. That's a very perfect dynamic, creating a jealous reaction from Sirius. It's fit for somebody like Sirius who values his friendships greatly.

I'm really glad that this had a happy ending, though. It's definitely a day-brightener.

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Thank you so much for a lovely review. I tried to stay in cannon as much as possible with what we have heard of Lily and James and saw of Sirius and I'm glad you liked it.

After reading about Sirius being all sulky when Harry had to return to Hogwarts I could just see him being jealous of Lily being pregnant.

Once again thank you for the lovely review
-Crystal.


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Review #3, by kassandra466 And Baby Makes Three

6th October 2013:
Well that was fantastic, just the perfect little dose of marauders :) Thank you.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for the review!

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Review #4, by nott theodore And Baby Makes Three

7th September 2013:
Hi Crystal! I'm here with your requested review :)

I really enjoyed this one-shot. The story made me smile; I've read about this moment a few times in other stories but I liked the way that you chose to interpret it. Stories like this one can often just become pure fluff, so I think you did a good job of remembering the time that it occurred in and the sort of stresses that James and Lily would both have been under when they found out she was pregnant.

As far as flow is concerned, I think this story reads nicely, and it's not hard to follow at all. The structure of it made sense for me and that also made it easier to follow. The only thing that detracted from it at all is that there are a couple of typos and grammar mistakes. I know you've already had this beta'ed, but reading through it again to sort those little bits out won't take long.

I think your characterisation is great. One thing that frustrates me is when people forget just how young James and Lily were when they got married and had Harry, and you didn't do that here. By mentioning Lily's age, it helps to set up the time frame for this story and offers an explanation about why she's so surprised about being pregnant.

The only thing that would concern me here is that Lily's best friend was the one to carry out the examination. I know that in 'Muggle' medicine in England, doctors aren't allowed to treat close friends or family members as it compromises their professionalism, which it clearly did here, with Alexis cancelling her appointments. I think maybe it would be a little more realistic if Alexis had agreed to go with Lily on her day off, or something along those lines.

Lily's worry was very believable, especially since she's facing bringing a baby into a war-torn world, and I also liked James's reaction when she told him about it. I think I liked the way that you wrote Sirius the best, though. He seemed like a petulant, jealous child, and we've seen glimpses of that in the books when he doesn't get what he wants. It's a great reminder of all the reactions that different people will have to news like this.

Overall, I think you did a great job with this story. I hope this review was helpful for you!

Sian :)

Author's Response: I'll definitely go back and get those pesky typos that escaped us. They better fear me :D

I wanted this to be as canon as possible so I used harry potter wikipedia and hp-lexicon to get James and Lily's age and then just did the math so I'm glad you liked that.

I use to see my Auntie when she was a dr but then again I always threw a fit when someone else tried to see me so I think I might have been a special case. I'll probably go back and make it to where Lily was Alexis' last appointment for the day or something along those lines so it's not compromising her professionalism.

I'm glad you loved Sirius I remember when he was acting like a child when Harry was going back to Hogwarts in OTP and I just could imagine him being jealous at first when James told him that Lily was pregnant.

I'm glad you liked the story and thanks for the review Sian:D


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Review #5, by academica And Baby Makes Three

7th September 2013:
Hello, I'm here with your requested review :)

I thought this was a very cute story. I liked how it wasn't totally fluffy, because stories about babies can easily turn into that and instead you explored Lily's anxiety and Sirius's need to get used to the idea of a baby for a few minutes. I also liked how Lily thought she just had the stomach flu and didn't even realize that she could be pregnant at first; it seems very realistic considering the stress she was under. The characterization was fitting for everyone, and I liked the bit of imagery where Lily described how James looked older than his years.

One thing that did give me a little pause was the idea of Lily's best friend being the one to examine her. I don't know how it is in the medical field, but I'm a therapist and seeing people that you know (friends, family, etc.) is a big no-no because you'd have a hard time being impartial. This seemed to be reflected in Alexis's decision to cancel the rest of her appointments to soothe Lily's nerves; it hit me as being a tad unprofessional and potentially dangerous in a setting like St. Mungo's. It's just something you could consider, that's all.

I think the flow of the story was good overall. I noticed a few typos, mostly related to punctuation, that you could probably clear up with the help of a Quick Beta. In the section where Lily and James discussed telling the others, it was a bit difficult for me to tell who was speaking, and I noticed a typo with "his husband" there. I think the flow will be even better if you go back and fix those little things.

Good job! I hope this review is helpful!

-Amanda

Author's Response: I'll definitely take your suggestion about having Lily go see her friend. I know that I was allowed to see my Auntie when she was a dr but you're right about her canceling the appointments I might change it to since she had no more appointments for a while that she took Lily into her office.

I knew there would be some typos that would get away from me and my beta. I'll definitely go back and check it over again.

Thanks again for the review :D


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Review #6, by toomanycurls And Baby Makes Three

4th September 2013:
Great wizarding world touches - adds a good level of authenticity to the narrative.

Generally I like the way you're writing everyone. I'm curious as to why Lily is crying hysterically about being preggers. I mean, was it the war, were she and James on the rocks, etc. A bit of the internal dialogue or an omniscient narrator would help with that.

I like the descriptive strings you use after dialogue, it tells the reader not just who was speaking but how they were feeling.

I can see why you'd highlight Sirius' reaction but it'd be nice to see Remus and Peter get their own reactions (even if both are positive).

Sirius' rationale for not wanting James to have a child is classic. Very well done.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked how I wrote everyone.

Honestly Lily just started crying because she was scared of James' reaction because as stated in the thoughts when she's cooking dinner she was anxious that James wouldn't want to have a baby now that they knew what the world outside of Hogwarts is like. I'll probably go in and add in a thought of Oh Merlin how is James going to react or something along those lines before it goes to her being at the house cooking.

I can't take the credit for the descriptive strings after the dialogue (I am horrible at dialogue and usually have all of it in one paragraph all mushed together) that's the work of the lovely HeyMrsPotter who beta'd this story for me. She deserves all the credit for that.

I might go back and add more description to Remus and Peter's reactions so it doesn't seem like Sirius is getting all the limelight.

Thanks again for the lovely review.


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