171 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57 Chapter 4

13th April 2014:
Hi! I am here at last with your review!!

So I really loved this chapter because I got to learn more about Sadie's life and it had an adorable Fred and George moment in it. :) Sadie is still quite an enigma, but at least now you've taken me inside her head just a little. The conversation that she had with the Weasleys was really valuable--she said a lot of things, but DIDN'T say a lot more. I'm glad that Harry can sort of empathize with her and that his life with the Dursleys is put into perspective. :)

Just a question to remind myself: Are Sadie's glasses round like Harry's or square/oval/rectangular? Sorry I forgot, and I know it's a silly detail, but I just can't remember. :)

Hermione REALLY got on my nerves in this chapter. I know that she's a bookworm and all, but DANG. That was obnoxious. However, I did learn something about magical New York, which was good. I hope that Hermione tones it down in later chapters. She needs to learn how to listen. :P

That is not to say that I didn't like her, or any of the other characters! I think that you kept them really true to canon, and Hermione was particularly obnoxious in this scene because she was having one of those days where she was like, "I'm Hermione, I know everything!" It's been known to happen. :)

The scene in which Sadie tried to teach the Weasleys sign language was touching and positively wonderful. It's so good that the Weasleys are open-minded and kind. However, I fear the day that Sadie meets Draco Malfoy. (I hope that she punches him...)

Okay, your writing is fantastic. The plot is flowing along nicely, and I see that you've got chapter five up! Good for you! I look forward to reading it!

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #2, by TidalDragon Chapter 8

29th March 2014:
Alrighty! So this chapter was relatively straightforward. It thankfully finally displayed one of the Weasleys making a faux pas. It's nice that they've been so accommodating and wonderful (and it's helped you that you've condensed the time spent with them into a limited number of days), but I think they are reaching perhaps being a little TOO perfect.

As far as your ultimate question, it's difficult to answer fully without knowing where the drop off is happening. I think from a stylistic and skill perspective, you are a talented writer. You do really well with a complex character like Sadie - conveying her thoughts, feelings, and flashbacks - and though it has become a spot less consistent since the earliest chapters, you definitely have a knack for description too. I do think as you partially acknowledge in your A/N, you may be losing readers because of how long the story is taking to develop. I definitely appreciate why you're taking the approach you are and I think it's valuable and important, but I have found in my own limited experience so far that only so many readers like long-developing stories (at least while they are WIPs). Certainly there are many on the forums who admit to only reading anything longer than a short story once it reaches completed status. Again, I don't know the numbers, but I'd be excited by how many reviews you have received (I imagine you have quite a few reads too given the number of reviews), especially if they're so positive. If you haven't already, you could try a summary tweak, promoting it in the forums (if that's your bag - personally, I didn't notice a bump the lone time I posted a chapter update), or whatnot, but I'd keep on keeping on.

I will level with you and say that as a reader the plot is not my cup of tea. Despite the intrigue and the very well-written OC, I just don't tend to read AU fics in the Hogwarts Era that don't drastically alter at least two canon characters or major canon relationships or find a way to remove them from Hogwarts entirely. But that's just me, and I feel like I'm kind of a minority in a number of my fic preferences.

Objectively though, I can say for sure is that you have a VERY good thing going from a writing perspective. DON'T GET DISCOURAGED!

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Review #3, by TidalDragon Chapter 7

29th March 2014:
Hello again!

The sequence with Ginny and Sadie was delightful. There was a wonderful innocence about it and creating a place like that seemed so fitting for Ginny, who's been stealing her brothers' brooms since she was six. I thought it was also a nice touch for her to be caught by Sadie with an unexpected secret while Ginny was showcasing one she had planned on sharing.

Re: the A/N, I'm not sure if you've been getting a lot of comments about this, but personally I don't find any issue with how you've expressed Sadie's writing and signing. You definitely have to get across what she is expressing and I think it would take someone very familiar with ASL to take time to criticize your handling of it. The only thing that is a bit too quick for me maybe is how quickly the Weasleys seem to be picking up ASL. Maybe it's me, but I don't think I could watch someone sign all day for a full week and necessarily have many signs committed to memory, even to hold a simple conversation, but perhaps I'm weird - I've never tried to learn.

The end was also intriguing, I guess being intended as a display of Sadie's unique magical gifts. We'll see in the future I suppose other ways for this to manifest itself, but it could be incredibly dangerous if it works in reverse as well, so hmm.

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Review #4, by TidalDragon Chapter 6

29th March 2014:
Wow!

So the flashback Sadie had of her family being murdered was just - intense. Chilling, but VERY well done. It definitely enhances Sadie's withdrawn, constantly-worried characterization and it also provokes some huge questions that I am left wanting answers to. Who is this familiar person who killed her family, seemingly in an act of betrayal? Why/how did Sadie live? On a different note, it seemed like the Death Eater (or whoever was present with him) used a gun. Why would a group that abhors Muggles and anything to do with them use a Muggle weapon to kill? Seems a little odd, but perhaps you'll explain it.

I will say that a sizeable portion of this chapter though seemed to be devoted to getting us from the tents to the eventual point you wanted to end on. I'm not sure if this was planned or if you just viewed it as a necessity, but it was noticeable this time. Every story (especially a novel length one) will have its moments like that, but just take care it doesn't develop into something frequent.

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Review #5, by TidalDragon Chapter 5

29th March 2014:
The bit with Bill was an excellent part of this chapter. We only get glimpses of him in canon, so it was nice to see a prominent moment for him in your story. I thought it was also fitting that he would be kind and understanding as the oldest Weasley (and gave some flesh to why he might win over Fleur, beyond his looks) and that you worked his job as a cursebreaker into his concern for Sadie.

The only thing that caught me off guard a little was the transition from the portkey to after the Quidditch match. It definitely got across her panic and disorientation, but until later on (and a re-read of the beginning of that crowd section) it was unclear that you had skipped the match, so I was left kind of waiting and waiting for something to happen there, for Sadie to have some reaction to the Quidditch itself and obviously that did not happen. I don't question the choice to skip the Quidditch as I think what you did was effective, but you might consider somehow making clearer right out from amidst the panic that your second section of the chapter is taking place post-match.

See you in the next chapter!

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Review #6, by TidalDragon Chapter 4

29th March 2014:
I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter. You struck a nice balance between the introductions and interactions with the Weasleys (+ Harry and Hermione) and the inner turmoil and emotion that Sadie was experiencing. As before, your handling of the descriptions and inner thoughts of hers was very well done. I thought the memory of her deciding to learn to sign was an excellent inclusion that really helped to underline the rest of what you expressed about her, both in this chapter and earlier.

Harry's thoughts were also a nice touch. I am interested to see how their relationship develops and whether they will ultimately reach a point where they discuss their traumas - the losses of their families and homelessness/hated-ness at the Dursleys.

Hermione's contribution was also a delight.

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Review #7, by TidalDragon Chapter 3

29th March 2014:
Alright! So this chapter was primarily a treat! We got to see your insight into the kind of interaction that I'm sure went on behind the scenes of the books ALL the time - Dumbledore and McGonagall. We also got tidbits of your insight into how you think McGonagall may have been at school with the rule-breaking comment and of course her concerns, which gave us a glimpse past McGonagall's often stern visage.

The only thing I found slightly off was Dumbledore's dialogue. He started off a bit weaker before you seemed to hit your stride with him (I think he's probably very difficult to get right). One thing that really helped was the return of your delightful descriptions, which helped to put the right polish on the words that he was saying. The biggest thing that continued to stick for me throughout however was his use of contractions. Throughout the books, Dumbledore uses contractions with incredible rarity. He obviously prides himself on being well-spoken, which is probably a reason for this as contractions are, by definition, shortcuts. The use of contractions also undermines a bit of Dumbledore's stately presence, so I'd cut down on use of them with him going forward.

See you next chapter!

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Review #8, by TidalDragon Chapter 2

29th March 2014:
Whoo!

So many characterizations to get down in this chapter! I thought on the whole you did a good job with them though. Fred and George in particular were good and you showed Ginny's cleverly-mischievous side nicely with the ghoul bit (even if it turned out not to work).

As far as the plot goes, I noticed two major things. First, Sadie is actually incapable of speech. That's kind of a neat (in a tragic, horrible way) limitation to give a character and I'm very interested to see how it plays out. Second, Sadie is related to Harry. I'll confess I'm not a big fan of this, primarily because I feel like long-lost relatives are kind of an overused device in AU fics. Naturally though, I always bear with them to see how they play out, primarily because I have a lot of grand ideas (in my humble opinion) that tread "typical" AU ground. So I'm also interested to see how that aspect develops.

In terms of the writing itself, this was the first chapter that was really driven by dialogue, and despite the number of people present, I was pleased you didn't fall into the trap of trying to make them all talk a lot. I think just about all of them got a word in at least, but you didn't force it or overdo it.

At the same time, I feel like you may want to take a look at the specific language used by some of the characters so there's a little more differentiation. This came across well with Fred and George, Hermione, and to a lesser extent Mrs. Weasley. It may prove not to be a problem as things evolve, but I'd just be careful that the speech each character uses doesn't become so similar that almost any character could deliver another character's line. Just a thought.

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Review #9, by TidalDragon Chapter 1

29th March 2014:
Hello again!

So this chapter seemed to reinforce the strengths of the first. Thoughts and descriptions (particularly Sadie's) seem to be a real strong suit for you (which is great - I'm always struggling to include enough description).

There were again a few minor things. For example in the third paragraph and again a couple of times later in the chapter, you laid out a description or set of thoughts that sufficiently conveyed the thought or tone you were after, only to undercut it a bit by then explicitly stating said tone or thought. It's not a big deal, it just feels redundant in those moments when you state what you've already laid out so well.

I thought the dialogue was much better in this chapter (it turns out Mrs. Oddsocks is just a strange character - shocker) and it was very believable the way your portrayed Sadie as too shell-shocked and wary to really speak. I also particularly enjoyed the whole bit about the yarn and needles - well-described, showing something about Ophelia's character, and amusing. Thumbs up!

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Review #10, by TidalDragon Prologue

29th March 2014:
Howdy! Dropping by in response to your review request. Normally on all requests (contrary to the statement in my thread) I will try to leave feedback on each and every chapter (normally at least 1000 characters). I will endeavor to do that here, but since I have two challenge pieces that really need doing and about 125,000 words worth of reading for review requests, I can't make any promises about the length. I will absolutely give you a holistic answer to your main question though (to the best of my ability), which I will save for the review on the last chapter.

To get to the meat of this one, I think you start out very strongly with an air of mystery about who this poor girl is and some excellent descriptions. You take great care to put us in the scene and get us feeling the weight of both the setting and your MC's emotions, hopeful determination fading to disappointment, turning to fear. It was nicely done.

There were only two things that stood out to me on the flip side, one of which was relatively minor. First, in the second sentence of the third paragraph, you begin your description in the past tense and then transition to a form of the present tense (I'm not a wizard with appropriately describing verb forms, but it goes from -ed to -ing). I read it a couple of times and it just didn't flow right for me.

The other thing I noticed was the dialogue. You do an excellent job of creating a believable scene that really draws a reader in and of describing the inner thoughts of your character, but even though this was never going to be a dialogue-heavy chapter, the quality of the dialogue itself just doesn't seem to be on that same level, particularly at the end of the chapter, where the animagus's (?) dialogue seems to be too similar to the angry person at the deli.

See you in the next chapter!

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Review #11, by Aphoride Chapter 4

29th March 2014:
Hi there - sorry for the delay in getting to this! RL got a bit hectic for the last while, but I'm here now! :)

You know, this story is one of the one's which I realise I've kinda missed reading when I see it's been updated and things... it's such a unique and interesting idea, and something I would never even dream of trying, so it always impresses me so much! :)

Anyway, I love how you're progressing with Sadie's character. How she's so nervous about being left there, how she wants to stay with Professor McGonagall, how she gradually relaxes and warms up just a little to the Weasleys... it's such a nice thing to see, even though obviously it's just the start and it's the end of it. I loved the inclusion of the sign language and the notebook - how hesitant she was to get it out. She's a phenomenal character and you do so well with her!

I loved the scene from Harry's pov. How he feels like he can maybe understand her a bit, and how he gets the things she isn't saying and kinda sees through her words, where others might not.It's a strangely insightful Harry you've got, but I think it makes sense in this situation, you know? Of all people, he's most likely to understand that! I'm looking forward to seeing him and Sadie interact more! :)

The twins picking up sign language quickly and wishing they'd known about it before does not surprise me, haha.

Arthur and Molly... okay, so they intimidate me as characters, haha, because they're so 'them' in the books and you just manage them so, so well in this. Like, they pretty much are the characters from the book, no questions asked! It's amazing, really!

All the characters are great, tbh. You have a real knack of it! :)

I love how it's moving, as well, how the plot isn't perhaps as quick as it could be, but we're learning about Sadie and she's learning to cope and it's necessary, you know?

Absolutely no problems with pace or flow or mistakes anywhere... your characters are brilliant, your plot is still fabulous and I'm still so curious and amazed by this story so it's all good! ;)

Feel free to re-request! :)

Aph xx

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Review #12, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter 2

26th March 2014:
Aand back for another chapter :D.

Oh good, I'm really glad that there was this little segment about the World Cup, as it gives me a general sense of what book that this is taking place in!

I also think that it's quite exciting that Sadie is staying with the Weasley's; Molly and Arthur are excellent parents, and I think that the Weasley household is probably one of the best places to grow up :D. They may not be wealthy, but they are certainly loving, and that's what really counts.

I really like the connection between Sadie's father and Arthur, it's very sweet, and even strong enough to name his son after him. It makes perfect sense that the Weasley's would want to take her in, though they just may have without a connection like that, as they are kind people.

I'm also glad that Sadie doesn't have to start Hogwarts as a first year, I would imagine she would stand out of a classroom full of 11-year-olds :p.

And so, it's revealed that Sadie is mute due to a spell. It's really very poetic, somebody who can see visions (but I don't think I'm supposed to know that yet) but can't speak. It's also revealed that she's Harry's cousin (yay AUness)! I think that not wanting to burden Harry was a legitimate reason for not wanting to tell him about his aunt or cousin.

The kids really have no idea how hard she DID have it growing up, and it breaks my heart. Harry did have to live with the Dursleys, and was treated horribly and lived in a cupboard under the stairs, but she had to live on the streets... :(. In the very least, at least he had a home.

This was great! I can't wait to read the next chapter, but I'm halfway done with the next chapter of my parody and I want to have it ready before Everto comes out of the queue! So, I'll be back for more later!

-Rumpel

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Review #13, by Lululuna Chapter 8

26th March 2014:
Hello! :)

I really love how you write the Weasley family at the Burrow, personally, I'm in favour for the summer lasting as long as possible just so I can see more of how flawlessly you write the canon characters. :P The focus on food and all the little sibling relationships and deviousness are great, and I love how Ginny has to hold her own against her brothers. That feels so realistic and really fits with her character.

Hmm, so there might be something between Fred and Angelina? That makes sense, considering the Yule Ball is happening soon (sort of). I'm curious about what might happen in terms of Sadie and Fred, though I think they have a long way to go in building a friendship and comfort before anything romantic can happen.

I love the bonding time between Sadie and Arthur, and how he spares the time in his day to go around and do things for each of his children and his adopted "children." It reminds me of how he takes Harry to the Ministry for his hearing and spends that individual time. It's really love that Arthur and Sadie's father had that love of Muggle things to share, and how that also gives Sadie something to relate to with Arthur. Seeing the flashback, when Sadie was unharmed and loved and innocent, was so poignant, and showed the girl she could have grown up to be had tragedy not struck. :(

You always amaze me with how well you write the canon characters, like Arthur recommending a puddle to Sadie. :P It shows what a playful, gentle man he is and how he really connects with his children and engages with the physical features of their home. You ground the story really well both in terms of characters and the setting - this story could really blend so seamlessly into canon.

The ending, with Sadie's fear of magic translating to herself, was really heartbreaking. :( This poor girl, but at least she's getting happier and has somebody to look after her again. ♥

Can't wait for the next chapter! :D

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Review #14, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter 1

26th March 2014:
I definitely love the image of Minerva reading in her chair. The contrast between the mood of the last chapter and this chapter was astounding. When Saide was outside in the pouring rain, cold and hungry, Minverva was curled up in a chair, warm and content. I really love that contrast, it's spectacularly brilliant!

I also really liked the concept of the international Floo System, and she charges the extra Floo to Minverva -- that made me laugh!

Oh, and Ophelia is a fantastic character. My goodness, I don't think I've read such an eccentric character since, well, I can't think of a proper comparison! The turning Sadie into a chicken thing certainly does explain why the world around her was getting larger in the first chapter. Also, what a fitting friend for McGonagall. She's certainly different than Minerva, and both of their animagi forms are cat...which alludes to their personalities.

I think you've also introduced the level of importance that Sadie actually has nicely. Obviously, a reader without extra information wouldn't know who Jenny or Charlie were, so they're still kind of in that dark about why this character is important, but we know that she is important because of the reactions to the news! Excellent job there!

I also loved the way that you continuously reiterated that Sadie wasn't responding, to, well, anybody, though it isn't revealed why. Without coming right out and saying things, it allows for mystery AND intrigue! I think it's fantastic.

Anyway, I'm happy to see Sadie leaving NYC for some place where she will be taken care of!

I'll definitely be back tomorrow for more!

-Rumpel

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Review #15, by Rumpelstiltskin Prologue

26th March 2014:
I'm going to see if I can review yours before you can finish reading mine!

On that note, you have some great detail in this (which is an area that I constantly lack in, so it really stands out, and makes me a little jealous :p). I think it really sets the mood of the story, especially in the beginning. With poor Sadie sitting outside of a deli in the pouring rain, I already feel for her and already am connected to her. That's a ton to do in the first couple paragraphs.

I want to frown very harshly at that woman; it's not very nice to not even give the poor girl scraps!

I am happy that the odd woman found her, though! At least some people are kind. Aaand that woman is a witch!

I'm excited for what happens next!

-Rumpel

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Review #16, by CambAngst Chapter 8

24th March 2014:
Hi, farmgirl!

I really loved the places you took the story in this one. It's amazing how much of Sadie's story you've not only been able to get into the reader's head but also into the other characters' heads, all without her speaking a word. You've even given us a lot of insight into things that are still confusing for her. I get so much enjoyment out of watching this poor orphan girl gradually regain her life. Each new canon character she interacts with is a treat. You get to explore so much more than just Sadie's character.

Wow, George is being halfway serious here. I mean, he's still George, so he still dresses it up in a lot of self-deprecating humor and jabs at his twin brother, but he acknowledges that he made her a little sad and he fixes it. It was really sweet and touching and showed a side of him that you don't always seen in fan fiction stories.

Interesting. It's almost as though the twins were expecting Arthur to tell them to take Sadie to Diagon Alley. Like the planned it that way. This is certain to be a memorable trip.

Sadie's visit to Arthur's shed was probably the most touching thing you've written in the story so far. Her memories of her father were so bittersweet. It's a happy place for her, but also very sad because he's lost to her now. You did manage to work a tractor into this, didn't you! And you obviously know something about Vermont winters, because it's exactly the type of place where a PTO-drive snow blower can be a necessity. Aww, she helps him keep the secret from his wife about using magic to clear the snow. I wonder whether he wasn't supposed to use magic because she didn't want the muggles to see? Or was there some other reason?

I feel nearly as bad for Arthur in this scene as I do for Sadie. It's obvious that he lost someone very important to him when her father died. Kindred spirits, or so it would seem.

“He got it, didn’t he?” Mr. Weasley asked her suddenly, his voice thick. “The farm he always wanted, the one he dreamed of? He was happy?” -- I think this was so well done. It's a brilliant mixture of happy and sad.

“Did you try the puddle behind this shed? In my opinion, it’s always been the best one.” -- That was amazing Arthur Weasley! You have a real knack for this character.

Gah! All of those curses! So dark and twisted and horrible. How did this poor girl survive all of that? How is she not scarred beyond recognition and mentally broken? What horrible price was paid so that she could survive? These are the questions that plague me as I read this.

I, for one, don't feel like you need to be in any hurry to get to Hogwarts. That said, I'm looking forward to seeing what happens there. I'm looking forward to everything about this story. Awesome job!

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Review #17, by marauderfan Chapter 8

24th March 2014:
Ok, I love the whole scene of the Weasley family dinner, George's elbow in Ginny's face haha. Aw, poor Sadie, that must be difficult to get any food at a dinner like a shark feeding frenzy, since shecan't speak up. Use your elbows, Sadie! That will get people out of the way :p

I feel bad for George too as he obviously didn't mean to be so tactless, but at least he dug himself out of that hole all right. Blame it on Fred, always a good option. Oh dear, what are the twins up to now...

Aw! I love Sadie's memory of being at home on the farm and happy, I love that they had tractors. Obviously Arthur approves :D Also, I loved the whole feeling of that section describing the kind of old timey farm, it sounds lovely. Especially a Vermont autumn!

Oh no! That's her only memory of wand magic?! I wonder if she'll be able to overcome it, or do without a wand entirely. It sounds like a scary outing for her to Diagon Alley! Hopefully the twins will make it easier for her, haha.

Great chapter, as always! :)

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I can't tell you how much it means to have you as a reader, and to have you sticking with me. *hugs*

I'm glad you liked the family dinner. I don't suppose they are ALWAYS like that, a shark feeding frenzy, but sometimes it probably can't be helped, especially with that many of them stuck inside from the rain. And yes, Sadie needs to learn to use her elbows. I will tell her that.

Yeah, George didn't mean to put his foot in his mouth, but he's really good at it. His general plan is to always blame it on Fred anyway. As for what they are up to, stay tuned. :) I think you'll like it.

It was really nice to write some happy memories for Sadie, to show that she had a great childhood until it was ripped away from her. And it was fun to make it all old-fashioned and cozy.

Well, it's probably not her only memory of wand magic - of course she remembers her parents using them for good things, but the good memories were overwritten by the many, many bad ones. We'll have to see how she overcomes it.

Thanks again SO much for reading this, and for just being a great friend.

- Farmgirl


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Review #18, by MadiMalfoy Chapter 3

20th March 2014:
Hey it's MadiMalfoy here with your review as requested! :)

Since you didn't have anything specific, I'll just gush about everything!

First of all, McGonagall and Dumbledore's friendship! You wrote it SO WELL I'm so jealous of how well you made them mesh and your ability in describing the little things they both do in response to the other. Their chat also allowed for some more backstory (although not very much) on Sadie and sets up for her meeting the Weasley's and Harry soon (next chapter?!) so yay!

I like that there wasn't technically a whole lot of action--instead, it builds the tension to the first little climax of the story and gives us information we want and develops other things that will later be more important to the plot. Overall, this was a great chapter! I can't wait for more!!

Feel free to re-request whenever you'd like! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks so much for the review!

And yes, I'm bad. I didn't mention anything specific, but I'll never, ever say no to a gushing review! *grins like an idiot*

I'm really glad you liked McG and Dumbles in this. I love them a ton, but they can be really hard to write, especially together! By the time I'd hashed that part out I was starting to doubt everything I'd written, so it's always nice to hear that it ended up working. I really wanted to show that they were very comfortable with each other, as friends, but still keep them in character.

And yes, I wanted to slip some backstory in there. Glad that worked as well, though there will be more to come.

Sadie meeting the Weasleys is next up. :)

Thanks so much for another fun review! Always so nice to get them from you.

- Farmgirl


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Review #19, by nott theodore Chapter 7

19th March 2014:
Hi! I'm so, so sorry that it's taken me so long to come and read this chapter, but I've been so busy with real life that this is honestly the first chance I've had.

I'm so happy to get back into reading this story! After poor Sadie being so terrified with the events that happened at the world cup - completely justifiably, especially considering the fact that she seems to have gone through more than any of the other characters in the name of Voldemort - it was really sweet to see this chapter and the lighter tone that was in the writing here.

Ginny was so sweet to take Sadie to her secret hideout and share that with her! I think it was great to see Sadie able to relax a bit more in this chapter and I think that was mostly due to Ginny and her kindness; though she was younger here than she often is in stories featuring her, I really liked the way that you portrayed her. She was definitely not the one-dimensional character I often see and I think she fit brilliantly with canon. I like the idea of Sadie and Ginny developing a friendship; this one feels almost as simple as two children who meet and decide to be friends, and I think it was even sweeter for that.

I loved the little details that you included, like all the pictures and why they were important to Ginny; they really helped to give us a clearer idea of her character and personality. The signing was well done, too, and I think that the way you've chosen to write it makes sense and works really well with the story. It never seems like it's stilted at all. I think my favourite part in the Ginny and Sadie scene was Sadie noticing the picture of Harry with the hearts on, and realising what it meant. Ginny's embarrassment was so cute, and I like the fact that you portrayed the younger, girlier side to her here.

The second part of this chapter was really interesting, too. If I'm not mistaken, the fact that Fred is dwelling on what has happened to Sadie so much is going to be the start of a close friendship between them, perhaps even something more, eventually. It's sad to think that something was a secret between the twins, but the gravity of the secret means that makes sense, and I liked the way they resolved that between them. I love Fred and George so much, and reading your story always reminds me why!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey, don't apologize! I still haven't made it back to finish reading your stuff, so you are ages ahead of me! I'm just thrilled and honored and so excited that you want to keep reading this story. So thank you very much.

One of my main goals for this chapter was to let Sadie smile. She HAS gone through so much and there is so much trauma and pain hiding inside her that needs to be dealt with, but that is not ALL that she is and I wanted to find a way to start showing that.

I love Ginny. I didn't plan on using her in this part, but it just kinda happened. And as for her hide-out...well that was just me selfishly creating the hide out *I* always wanted as a little girl. *grins* And it seemed fitting that Ginny would have found someplace that could be just hers, what with 6 brothers and all.

I couldn't resist the hearts around Harry's head. Ginny had a crush on him FOREVER. I had to play that up.

I am trying to get a friendship going between Fred and Sadie, and George as well. Fred's might turn into something more, as you guess. Stay tuned for more on this topic, LOL.

Thanks as always for your friendship and support! It means so much!

- Farmgirl


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Review #20, by Lululuna Chapter 7

13th March 2014:
Hi again! :) I'm so sad this is the last chapter for now, but it was such a lovely one!

It's really nice to see Sadie settling in and having some good times, even if her past is always somewhere in the back of her mind. I absolutely loved the whole scene with Ginny - I felt like I could feel and smell the rain and experience what it was like to run through it. Ginny's little secret fort was so creative as well, and I liked all the detail that went into it - like the water-proofing spells, and the fact that she couldn't stand up but it was roomy, and the photographs not being able to move. I really like the idea of Ginny having a place to call her own and to get away from the boys. And the hearts around Harry were so cute! :D

I like seeing Sadie starting to communicate more and the elation she feels when she realizes that Ginny is her friend. Also, I like the way she's communicating so far, and I think, in responding to your Author's Note, that it was a good choice. Once somebody understands the signs the ASL would feel very fluid. That being said, I like how for now her signing to those who don't understand as well is quite simplistic, as they're still learning, and how she sometimes has to resort to pantomime and other methods. It feels very realistic.

Fred and George's secret laboratory and their production of their joke shop products are great as well! I like the bond between the twins, but also how Fred is troubled by Sadie's vision. I wonder if this was some sort of Legilimency, or perhaps the special powers you mentioned at the beginning of the story? It makes sense that Sadie would have some special abilities, especially since whoever killed her parents kept her alive for some reason. I'm excited to learn more! :)

Looking forward to the next chapter, this was just lovely! :D

Blackout Round 3 - 12/20

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Review #21, by Lululuna Chapter 6

13th March 2014:
Hello again! :)

I love how this started from Fred's perspective. It's great getting insight into the Weasleys and what they think of the situation and of Sadie, like with Bill in the last chapter. I also really liked how the twins took care of Ginny like good big brothers, and how angry Fred was at how the Muggles were being abused. That scene is so poignant, and I really appreciated his disgust and empathy.

Ron, Harry, and Hermione were drawn to danger like moths to the flame. Haha, this is actually so true that it's almost funny! Ever since the troll in the dungeon they always do seem to be wherever danger is. I also like how you've made it so clear that the three of them are always together, a little group within the group, which is such an intrinsic part of the books and their characters.

I felt like I could really feel and see the whole scene, you wrote it so well. Your writing has a really lovely visual quality to it that made the whole chapter feel very real.

In his world, surprises were for fun and laughter; he lived for them. This is a really unique comparison between Sadie and Fred. That being said, I can really see how they might eventually grow to fall in love. He's so caring towards her, and he seems to be able to help her relax and be at ease, even to laugh, which she really does need. Also, I love how empathetic Fred is here. He truly puts himself in other people's shoes and tries to alleviate their pain.

Oh my, the flashback scene... that's some heartbreaking stuff, farmgirl. I felt really tense and horrified when reading it, how Sadie had to stand there and watch as one by one her family were slaughtered... it's truly horrifying, and says a lot in showing why she's so frightened and easily triggered now. :( Poor girl.

This was a wonderful chapter, as usual! :)

Blackout Round 3 - 11/20

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Review #22, by Lululuna Chapter 5

13th March 2014:
Hello! :)

I really enjoyed getting to know Sadie a little better and seeing how much her past affects her. It's always there, lingering and touching everything she does, and I liked how she keeps comparing her old life to her new one and wondering at what it means to be in the Weasley family.

I liked how the story began, and you really captured that feeling of waking up before the sun, and the excitement of going out somewhere. I thought it was beautifully written and also liked the little details, such as how Ginny and Hermione sleep. Another great moment was when the twins were being so nice to Sadie and she decided she needed to learn to tell them apart. I love how you write the twins, they feel so in sync and in canon, but also have that kindness and understanding not to talk to Sadie if she feels like being alone.

I liked how you tied in the canon events, but still fit Sadie into the story so flawlessly. Not explicitly writing the scenes we know from canon and instead finding ways to allude to them was very skillful here. I especially liked the reference to Malfoy and his comment about money - and how that bothered Sadie - as it was a great little nod to canon while still integrating the AU aspects into the story.

Bill was wonderful here, he makes such a warm and caring big brother. I liked how he was the one to notice Sadie was upset, and how he told her to think of him as a big brother and even in his head compared her to Ginny. He seems so down to earth and responsible, but with that understanding of dark magic. I really liked the references to his curse breaking as well.

This was such a flawless chapter, I loved it! :) I'm a little worried about how Sadie might react to the events which are about to happen at the World Cup, but I'm sure you'll write it flawlessly. Great job! :D

Blackout Round 3 - 10/20

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Review #23, by marauderfan Chapter 7

12th March 2014:
Hi there! I stopped by to give this chapter some love!

Gaaa I love this chapter so, so, so much!!! The scene with Ginny and Sadie frolicking in the rain and then sharing secrets was just beautiful. The prose was beautiful, the imagery, the friendship forming, gah just everything. ♡

I am glad Sadie is able to be free like that again, for a while at least . She is such a strong person, after going throuh what she did, living alone out in the rain in the city, and still appreciating the beauty of the rain. Since she's been through so much bad stuff, she can see the good in anything, I guess. But seriously I loved that scene. Usually I review as I read but my eyes were glued to the screen because I didn't want to look away!

oh and Ginny being embarrassed about that picture of Harry was just too cute. At least she knows Sadie won't tell :p

Hmm, how did Sadie transfer her memories to Fred? I wonder if she knows that she did. I'm interested to see how he will bring that up, because I don't think he wants to dredge up her worst memories for her, but I imagine he wants to talk to her about it...

Loved the Fred and George scene. I've said it before and I'll say it again - you write the twins so well! I love that despite how they never keep secrets, even when there is a secret it's still okay.

So anyway, this was a super fantastic amazing chapter! Keep up the great work :)

Author's Response: This chapter is so appreciative of the love! Thank you so much!

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I was hoping people would like the change of pace and be glad I let Sadie have some happy time, but I was also worried people would be like "what's this fluff?" LOL. And I'm seriously blushing from the praise you just gave me.

It was VERY nice to write Sadie a little closer to who she really is, not the scared, cautious girl she's being right now because everything is so new and her instinct is to first protect herself, then maybe trust later.

I don't know why Sadie ended up liking the rain, but all through this story, whenever rain crops up, she is drawn to it. I finally gave in and decided that my character was asserting herself and I'd better listen. It is amazing that after living on the streets at the mercy of the weather, she still likes it. I'm going to have to chat with her and find out sometime WHY she's so fascinated with it. And maybe you are right - maybe she has learned to find the good where she can. So glad you liked it!

Nope, Sadie won't tell Ginny's secret. But she might tease her a bit about it. And she might try to get her cousin to see what's right under his nose...

Now the questions about the memory and Fred: how Sadie did it will eventually be explained as this story goes on, but it's important. Does she know that she did it? no. And Fred is going to have to find a way to discuss this with her, you are absolutely right.

You make me smile that you like the twins in this so much. Thanks!

Thanks again for reading! You are one of the reasons I keep plugging away at this to put up new chapters.

- Farmgirl


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Review #24, by toomanycurls Chapter 7

8th March 2014:
I'm so excited to read more of this!!!

I really love that Sadie has gotten to a slightly more calm place since the World Cup. I wanted to give her a huge hug when she was scared that the Weasleys would see her darkness. I mean, darkness happened to her but she isn't that darkness.

Ginny is really sweet - I love that she's showing Sadie a place she thinks is special. And, wow, after you described it wtih the hollowed out tree and relics from her childhood, I kind of want to visit too! I really love the idea of Ginny having her own place like that and it's extra nice that she gave a bit of it to Sadie. I can't say how much that makes me happy.

You show their attempts to communicate really well. I mean, I like that they're both trying and that neither is an expert at it yet. I could really see Ginny confiding in Bill with her special hang out. Maybe he didn't go there with her but at least he knew about it. You've characterized Ginny extremely well. ahahahahaha!!! I laughed so loud at Ginny's hearts on the photo and Sadie asking about it. Ginny's brash reaction is just perfect! So very fitting.

Um, everyone should go puddle jumping!! I love it so much that they're bonding!!! I squeed with Sadie feeling like she belonged. :D

George is hilarious! That humor is perfectly in line with his character. You are handsdown the best at writing the twins. I really like that Fred shared a memory of Sadie's. Okay, so it was horrible for him but at least someone has quasi-firsthand experience of Sadie's life and past. haha, do they always swear on random bits of Merlin? I do like that Fred now has this connection with Sadie. I hope to see it go somewhere. ;)

Awesome chapter!! Let me know if you need to bounce ideas off people - I'd love to!

-Rose

Author's Response: I was so excited to have you read more of this! Seriously, SO excited! Thanks for agreeing on the review swap even though technically, I owe you the reviews anyway.

I really wanted this chapter to feel different than the one before it. I needed Sadie to smile, to show that she was more than just a traumatized girl. There is a "real" Sadie under all the pain and sorrow and I wanted to let her start to come out.

I also wanted Sadie to bond with another girl. I feel like it will be important for her to have that relationship.

She does worry about what she thinks of as the darkness that is inside of her. She worries what others will think if they see where she was during those missing years.

I think I kinda put some of my own childhood fantasies into Ginny's secret place. Didn't we ALL Want a place like that when growing up? And if you have magic, why shouldn't you get it?

Sadie is not the first mute character I've encountered in my years doing fic. One of the things that used to drive me NUTS in another fandom was when people could INSTANTLY (or within a couple chapters) understand each other without any explanation. I think that has carried over here and I'm really careful to watch for it. I hope I manage to portray things realistically - well, as realistic as magic gets.

Also, in my head canon, Ginny and Bill have a special bond. I think that leaks out sometimes in my fics.

The twins part of this chapter gave me fits. I just couldn't make it work right. Took me months to pound it out. I'm really happy that you think it was good and from your comments, it appears to have done what I wanted it to. (The Merlin part is just something I picked up from some other authors and liked a lot. I probably use it way too much, but it's just really fun.)

And you caught that connection thing, too. You are good. I was trying to make Fred have a connection to Sadie that George doesn't have.

Thanks so much for reading! I probably will take you up on that idea bouncing offer!

- Farmgirl


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Review #25, by Lululuna Chapter 4

6th March 2014:
Hello! :)

I loved this chapter so much - it might be my favourite so far. There was just so much Weasley goodness and you wrote it all perfectly.

This, however, was far from orderly and neat. Instead it was all haphazard afghans, tea kettles, and well-worn furniture, oozing magic left and right. Your description of the Burrow was perfect, and I loved how Sadie kept comparing her old life and this one throughout the story. How she associated Molly's hug with her mother, and thought of what their house had been like... it was so sad but lovely.

...drawings carefully colored and childish letters penned to be folded happily and sent away... This was such a beautiful image, and capturing that essence of childhood as well. I really like Sadie and Harry as cousins as well, and how they share sort of similar pasts and experiences. There were so many lines which gave me feels, like:

The proof's outside, tromping through my roses and hoping I won't notice if he gets Bill to mend them. Aw, I love Harry being taken in by the Weasleys, and how mischievous him and Ron are at this point.

Sadie talking about names and how much they mean to her was quite striking as well. I love the idea of her going to the library and learning to sign, and the teacher's kindness. However it really does highlight how bleak and difficult her life has been, and I really like how you continue to bring the reader back to that.

Ahh, Hermione talking about the museum was so in character! :P Also, on that subject the New York wizarding world sounds so cool! I love the sixth burrow especially, and how much thought you put into these little details.

Fred and George made me laugh and you wrote them really well, I'm excited to see them get to know Sadie and befriend her. Their teasing Bill and getting excited about sign language was wonderful.

This was such an amazing chapter, and I feel like this review barely did it justice. I loved it, and will definitely be back for more soon! :)

Gry/Sly Battle Round 2 - Review 8 of 15

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