Reading Reviews for Lexis Logos Lord
  
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by theblacksisters Ginny

28th November 2013:
This is looking good. There's not a lot of stories like this on this site (not that I've seen, anyway). Keep writing :).

Author's Response: You bet! Thanks for the review.

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Review #2, by toomanycurls Ginny

8th September 2013:
The dream/hypnotic state was quite terrifying. Very well written and scary. It flits around like a dream and has inconsistencies and strangeness that dreams often have. I usually don't like dream-like narrative but this is quite good.

I felt like the trance revealed more than I realize at the moment. It's nice to know that it was important but not totally obvious with what all the key parts were.

Author's Response: You have good instincts; I actually wrote an essay analysing the dream sequence in this chapter. It speaks to my personal head-canon on Ginny. I'm wary of printing it here though for fear of injecting bias into the reader, because there are multiple valid interpretations that one can take away from it.

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Review #3, by toomanycurls Bunbley

8th September 2013:
It kind of creeps me out that they're studying Voldemort's body. It's well written in there but, still, creepy.

Very interesting to have a forest elf as a Healer. I never got the impression that any magical characters were seen as qualified to do much around the wizarding world. On the same note, I thought Ginny might be more progressive and accepting of the idea. She didn't hate on Bunbley but she was a bit surprised he was a healer.

I really like the sarcasm about blindly following Dumbledore's wisdom, especially when there's evidence of other facts coming to light.

The only thing I thought I'd read here is why Ginny is trusting Bunbley. She gives into his advice and direction rather fast. I don't think Ginny is untrusting but she doesn't know Bunbley at all and just agrees to try out his treatment. It's not a plot killer just a small bump for me.

Author's Response: You make a good point about Bunbley. He's actually an OC from another story of mine, so I have a natural bias that blinded me toward him--good catch on that. I'll see if it's fitting to make Ginny more circumspect toward him; but I would justify it from my personal experience that when you're sick and desperate most of us are willing to try anything once.

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Review #4, by toomanycurls Ginny

8th September 2013:
ooh, so is the headache from Voldemort or from her injury? I feel conflicted if it's from Voldemort just because it was Harry's tell tale sign of his Voldemort connection. I think I could swing with that idea though.

I've never been sure about this but the f-bomb (which I can't write in a 12+ review, ha) doesn't seem like it's in the wizarding vernacular. Swear words reveal a bit about the social norms and mores of a culture. I'm not sure the wizarding world considers the meaning behind the f-bomb as significant as other cultures. When they swore in the HP books they usually used Merlin as the ultimate swear word. Though, that could be that it was a children's book and steered away from muggle swearing.

This chapter was pretty intense to read. You wrote it with a lot of dramatic description. I felt very pulled into the emotions and confusion that Ginny felt.

Author's Response: Your conflicted feelings are by design. This is a style of horror called "Le Theatre du Grand-Guignol." As such, there are going to be multiple ways that Ginny's experiences can be interpreted (depending each reader's head-canon). So, good catch.

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Review #5, by toomanycurls Lucius

8th September 2013:
This Tavin character is quite interesting. Just from the initial introduction I'm curious about him but know enough about him to start forming a good picture in my mind's eye. The only thing that gave me pause when reading the first bit with Tavin was, does he have bad breath or is he a heavy breather? A touch of extra insult from Lucius would help complete that image. I mean, it would be facinating if his breath was so rank it made him easy to track, but I digress.

In the last chapter the description of Ginny's page folding seemed a little prolonged. Now it makes sense why that was there and so well described. Though, looking back it would be more subtle to also describe other quirks. Otherwise the reader will take any significant level of discourse to be a hint in the plot.

The chapter has quite a good tense ending. ^_^

The chapter has a great amount of detail to go with the action. It feels very natural and plays well into canon bits about the wizarding world.

Author's Response: Looking back on that I agree that I could've added a couple more lines of dialogue out to flesh out their relationship. The other part about camouflaging the page folding would seem to a double-edged sword. On the whole this tale brings Ginny's sanity into question, so injecting other behavioural quirks seems to be treading on dangerous ground... It's good food for thought, though.

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Review #6, by toomanycurls Ginny

8th September 2013:
Oh gosh, Luna is hilarious. Her matter-of-fact "spectrespecs are used to find wrackspurts" killed me.

You might consider adding more character emotions/reactions around the text. A benefit of the omniscient narrator who is focused on one person is that it's believable to have the character at the focus of the narration to have their emotions revealed. The text shows that Ginny is angry that George went through her flat but without the extra descriptor of perhaps 'Ginny felt anger surge through her' after her thank you blow up leaves the reader guessing a little more than they should. I reread that a few times to make sure I was tracking the character development right.

George's teasing of Ginny is very well done. Seems like something he'd say and do. The Ginny/George banter is very good. Definitely conveys that they're close and siblings.

I really like that we got the insight to George's reaction to Ginny's request to be left alone. Great use of the narrator.

It's really sweet that George is going out to brunch with Luna. I do see him being perfectly at ease with Luna wearing spectrespecs in public though. I mean, he did say in GoF that having long ringlets for nose hair would be a good talking point after all.

I'll read on in a bit!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like the Luna/George/Ginny banter. These characters are sorta new to me, so characterization was a concern of mine. I'm more of a show-er than a tell-er, so I'll explore more ways of "showing" that anger surge in a character going forward. Thanks for the observation.

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Review #7, by toomanycurls Lucius

8th September 2013:
I like that the story seems to change perspective by chapter. One thing that might help readers out is to add something to each chapter description, even if it's line from the text. Having the chapter title indicate who is narrating is cool, it's very Game of Thrones.

I like the discourse between Lucius and Draco. I felt sad for Lucius that Draco's visit was strictly business. Between the feeling/looking older than he should be at that age and his isolated life, he is a bit sad and pitiful. Also, very interesting that he and Narcissa aren't together. I like how it's just a fact of the narrative not a focal point.

Would Lucius use magic to light candles? Does he have a wand I guess is the bigger question... and you addressed it! Such a good way to introduce his magicless existence. I mean, it definitely called out to me as strange that he didn't use magic then it was wonderfully put in that he couldn't find a wand for him.

It's a bit strange to think of Voldemort being contrite about his downfall and failing his followers. Though, I could see that as Ginny's influence on his soul (if that's at all possible).

I really like the idea of Voldemort being stuck in Ginny. Lucius' reaction to feeling Ginny close to him is very well done.

So far, the plot is intriguing and makes me want to read more (which I'll do).

The main thing I'd add to this chapter is a blurb about it being post-war world and maybe just a few tidbits about it being a few afterwards. You give some clues to that but it's a bit much for a reader to string together. I spent the first bit waiting for a little more context.

The way you've written Lucius works very well. He's a broken man but still holds his Malfoy elegance.

Author's Response: Hello toomanycurls,

I actually got the technique of titling the chapter after the character POV from Ernest Gaines' "A Gathering of Old Men". I thought it was cool device too. Thanks for the critic on the other bits; I'm keeping a journal of things to watch out for in my writing going forward.


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Review #8, by GuardedHeart Bunbley

29th August 2013:
This is such a cool, creepy, and well-written story! Very original and interesting...I can't wait to find out where it's going :) I hope you get more reviews on it soon, you deserve it!

Author's Response: Hi GH,

Glad you like it so far, and thanks for the vote of confidence. Unfortunately, I don't expect Ginny to get the same love as some of the more popular characters. Nevertheless, I enjoyed writing it.


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Review #9, by leannemariesnape Ginny

25th August 2013:
Your vocabulary is beautiful and the idea of the story is really interesting! Love it so far! Look forwards to reading more! :D

Author's Response: Thank you Leanne.

Glad you're liking it. Next one's in the queue.


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