Reading Reviews for Colorful
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm I

23rd January 2014:
Haha, slowly but surely I’m getting these reviews done :P

This was such an interesting start to the story and I think it’s really great that you’ve chosen a topic such as blindness to explore because physical disabilities aren’t really mentioned all too much in fanfiction but seeing you include it here might break the taboo which surrounds them.

Another thing that I really liked was how you started it, because I thought it was going to be a normal Al/OC story but then when you mentioned the blindness it really caught my attention. Haha, I loved the way you kept on leading us on in a way with the way she just carried on having a normal day with the blah blah blah of the OWLs coming up and how each lesson was described in the same way. It was a really good technique because it lulled us all into a false sense of security and made me wonder whether the blindness was just a metaphorical thing. Another reason why it was really good was because it showed you can never anticipate things like this.

I honestly thought when Albus cast that colour changing spell at her that would be the point when she would become blind. I felt so sorry for Lucinder as that must have been pretty horrible but at least he was nice enough to take her to the hospital wing. Then there I was thinking she was going to be fine again, and the potion exploded and she ended up blind.

Those last couple of lines were so powerful though in showing the trauma she must have been going through and how she really just couldn’t understand a thing about what was going on. I liked the way she knew what was happening but she just couldn’t see as I really got the sense of isolation she must have been feeling and it made me want to hug her. This was such a great start to the story, Grace!

-Kiana

Author's Response: I was so surprised when I saw this right after I had finished answering all of the reviews.

I'm so glad that you chose this story, it's one of the few that will take the longest to get updated because it's not a priority. Since this was Hogwarts, there had to have been spells that went wrong and people ended up in the hospital wing with minor and serious injuries. It'll be interesting to write from a blind person's point of view.

It's good to hear that it isn't like every other Al/OC fanfiction out there. I'm glad that I managed to achieve the effect that I was going for in lulling people into a false sense of security and then dropping the blindness part on them. If you could anticipate when you would end up with a major injury, I'm fairly certain everyone would avoid those situations.

I was originally planning on just having the spell thing but that seemed like such a small thing, I highly doubted that it would be strong enough to render Lucinda blind for an indefinite amount of time. There had to be something else that had to happen to make her condition worse.

Thanks for the awesome review Kiana!


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Review #2, by Siriusly89 I

27th August 2013:
Hello! Siriusly89 with the review swap! This definitely caught my eye, something on going blind isn’t often seen around the ‘ol forums, so I’m definitely excited for this!

I love the narrators sense of humour, its quite snarky, isn’t it, has a bit of a bite to it, and I just love that, it definitely makes for an interesting read. Obviously Albus is a bit hopeless at both Charms and Potions, so that’s a nice change too, because usually he’s quite good at school, its nice to see him with a few weaknesses, kudos to you!

“I pulled on a uniform that I was ninety-nine percent sure wasn’t mine”-can I just tell you that I LOVE THIS LINE! Its just, agh, you had me laughing so hard at this. I have a bit of an odd sense of humour, but this is one of those pure gold lines! Gah! Why did I not read this chapter before the Dobby’s, that line is completely ‘Best Quote’ worthy! Gah!

I love the description of the classes, sometimes people omit these from their stories (odd seeing as they often take place at a school, but it happens nonetheless) so I just love this already, I want to hug it and squish it and pinch its cheeks and tell it how cute it is and argh!

Ah poor Albus, making her eyes go all weird. Bold Albus, bold! Though I loved her reaction, it was sort of like ‘Well this day is just rubbish’, I get the feeling she’s one of those people that would see like, say Voldemort even though he’s dead and just say ‘Well, this is bad’ instead of running and screaming in terror. Though I may be wrong!

Aha! Her name is Lucinda! I love Slughorn, attempting to make jokes that AREN’T FUNNY. Seriously, but you have to give the man props for trying at the very least. But still, no, just no Sluggy. And really, the whole potion blowing up inn Lucinda’s face was sort of her own fault for not moving, and perhaps she even got the wrong ingredients, so let’s not blame Albus for everything just yet.

I adore Albus, I truly do, and I’m so glad I found this! Thank you so much!

Author's Response: dglka;hg;aknr I'm finally getting to this now but oh my gosh this was so sweet and awesome to read through!

I was actually thinking about other blind stories that I'd read when I came up with this and I was hoping that I hadn't accidentally copied anyone's story. But anyway, I like that it caught your eye since any author is aiming for that.

I've never really understood why the male characters are perfect. I'm going to enjoy making Albus helpless at Charms and Potions (and Potions makes sense because Harry was hopeless at it too).

kjfagh;kjre;gnnjgasfnje;n I can't even, I can't put this into words that is the kindest, sweetest thing that anyone has ever said to me. LET ME LOVE YOU! I'm so flattered to think that you would've nominated it as Best Quote and also really happy because I achieved making you laugh (something that I always aim for).

I'm guilty of that crime as well but I'm working on leaving classes out of fanfiction. And right now, i want to hug and squish you and pinch your cheeks as well (I'm not crazy, I swear!)

I'm imaging Lucinda doing that now actually and I'm fighting the urge to burst into laughter so that I can finish typing up this response.

You're actually the first person to put part of the blame on Lucinda. So far everyone has been saying that it was Albus's fault that everything went wrong. You've got no idea how happy I am about the fact that the wrong ingredients being put was thought up because that was my exact thought! Glad to know I'm not alone in this.

Thank you so much for your supermegafoxyawesomehot review that I love to death and has made my entire year. I cannot stop smiling and just oh my gosh, thank you!


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Review #3, by LittleLionGirl I

13th August 2013:
Hey again AlexFan. Fancy seeing you here ;)
I read this story a few days ago but my review didn't go through :/ So here I am again with my second attempt. I enjoyed the beginning because it seems like the normally sort of thing I do (the hand in butter because I am not awake and the syrup)
I feel bad for Lucinda and I would have been the jerk to say no after the first time with Albus. Part of me thinks the Charms teacher should have had them practice on dummies to prevent an accident. I cant wait to see where this story goes.
XOXOXOX,
LLG

Author's Response: Hey there again! Nice to see you!

I know how it is, you type up this really long review and then it just gets lost and you feel like screaming NO because it's gone.

I digress.

I'm glad that you could relate somewhat to what was going on, I would probably be the one poring the water on my main character. The syrup thing happened to me one time while I was away at band camp, we were going to go see professional musicians perform and I was having waffles and I slapped the plate by accident and got my pants and shirt all sticky. Needless to say, I had to change.

Professor Flitwick let the students practice the eyebrow changing spell in sixth year and that didn't go horribly wrong (although I suspect that's mostly because no one's hands were shaking).

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #4, by academica I

12th August 2013:
Hello, here for the Ravenclaw Review Battle :)

Hah, what an interesting start to the story! I'm really impressed with how you were able to keep the pace slow in this chapter while still making sure it was action-packed and drew the reader in, making them want to read on. I remember reading another first chapter of yours a while back, A Minor Setback I think, and feeling like the pace was too quick. So I can see that you've been working on it and taking reviewers' comments to heart, which is always a good skill to acquire.

I like your main character so far; I feel so bad for her having such a terrible first day of fifth year! I wonder if Albus is going to get any better as the year goes on, and I'm a bit curious how he got this far with such careless spell work and so much difficulty in potions! At least he's nice to Lucinda.

Good start. Maybe I can swing by later on when you've added the next chapter for another review :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hey there again!

I was worried that I'd rushed through everything because I didn't go into too much detail about the lessons. I'm delighted to hear that I don't have much to worry about.

Albus will definitely get better as the year goes on, he would have to otherwise he won't get very far in terms of grades. The spellwork bit I imagined to be difficult because you'd have to be precise in what you were pointing at because if you're not you might end up hitting something or someone else.

I hope you do swing by when I post another chapter, your feedback is always very helpful.


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Review #5, by Trundlebug I

12th August 2013:
A few bugs, but it's definitely a good read. I enjoyed the characterization of your main character, and the whole thing was pretty fun, and even funny in parts.

The ending felt a bit rushed, but that's easy to do sometimes. It didn't hurt the overall story much, and that's the important part.

It's a fine addition to your author page, and I enjoyed reading it.

Ken

Author's Response: I agree, there are definitely a few bugs but I was too excited and I just had to get this out! I'll fix it up soon. I'm glad to hear that you found it amusing, the story is intended to be amusing but I didn't think people would find the first chapter all that funny, glad to see that I was wrong though.

I'm glad that you enjoyed it and thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #6, by blackballet I

10th August 2013:
This is really great! I love the set up at the beginning of the chapter that made it's way back around at the end when she couldn't see anything. I actually laughed a bit, which makes me sound evil, but I found it funny for some reason.

Definitely keep writing!

Author's Response: I'm glad that you enjoyed it and I understand your laughing, sometimes I feel like cackling while I think about how I'm going to destroy my character's lives later on in the story but I stop myself.

I will most definitely keep writing!


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