Reading Reviews for Unfortunate Mishaps
  
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by 800 words of heaven CHAPTER 1: Social Interactions

8th December 2013:
Hello again!

So this chapter was really different in tone from the prologue, which I understand, because prologues tend to be that way. They have to be all intriguing and mysterious, whereas chapter ones can be a little more relaxed.

I did enjoy this chapter. I felt that I got a better sense of who Morgan was, and the kinds of people with whom she surrounds herself. The four of them don't quite seem to fit together, but I'm looking forward to reading how you develop their relationship and how everything works out.

If I may offer a little CC, I thought that some things in here were a little... random. Like, why was Fred following Morgan around? It's not as if he doesn't have other friends with whome he could hang out. And why did he feel suddenly jealous? It felt like there wasn't enough development between Morgan and Fred, or just Fred's character to warrant those sorts of feelings. He'd just met her, after all.

I think the littl issue that I had may be partially addressed by just adding more description. I'm terrible at it myself, but I can see the merits of good description, and believe that it fixes most woes. It would really help with character development, and would therefore go a long way in filling some holes!

An enjoyable chapter!

Author's Response: Happy to hear that you like this chapter too and the girl's relationships with each other will be explained in a little more detail in a few chapters time.

I understand where you're coming from with Fred's introduction as I sometimes find it difficult to transfer my thoughts into words. In my mind, Fred's portrayed to be someone that fits in with most people, so to be in a situation when someone doesn't give him the time of day, he becomes both confused and interested with the person.

I know this description is a bit muffled, but I will defiantly edit those bits at some point as I too feel like I did a bad job explaining not just that but also some other things. Thanks for the advice :)


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Review #2, by 800 words of heaven PROLOGUE: Fatigued Eyes and a Failed Attempt

8th December 2013:
Ooh! What's the big secret? I'm really curious to know now!

From your summary, I'm looking forward to get to know Morgan. She sounds a lot like me, so I'm excited to read how you characterise and develop her. For me, I enjoy stories the most where I really connect with the characters, especially the main ones.

I'm also curious to know how the plot will progress! This prologue is a promising start!

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it! It's defiantly the one chapter so far that I think mirrored what was in my head perfectly, so I'm pleased to hear that it made sense to someone other than myself

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Review #3, by Ginger Lust CHAPTER 1: Social Interactions

6th October 2013:
Hi. Just found your story. I like it so far. I love the Weasleys (I know... you couldn't tell by my SN!! LOL) although Ron is my fav. and why I picked my SN.
Anyway, I find Morgan interesting.. as I am alot like her. And I am alot like (was it Jackie?) Jackie where I would started singing a weird song at any given time. (I even included BIG BUTTS in one of my stories! lol That really made me laugh). So I can relate to your characters.
This is the first Fred/George story I have ever read (like I said, my true love is Ron) but I like it.
Can't wait for more.

Author's Response: I'm pleased that you like it so far! I'm glad to hear that my story seems to make some sense to someone other than myself. Thanks for the comment :)

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