Reading Reviews for The Fall of the Town
38 Reviews Found

Review #1, by teh tarik The People of Hamlin

30th March 2014:
Hello Jenna! I'm finally here for our review swap. I've been out the whole day and have only just got home - apologies for the delay! Anyway, I've been wanting to finish reading this story of yours here for ages now; I favourited it quite some time ago, because I just love the idea of it from the first chapter. I think it's a fascinating combination - the Founders, and the plague and the children's tale, The Pied Piper of Hamlin.

Gah, I think the way you set the scene at the beginning is just wonderful, your very concrete descriptions of the town of Hamlin (or the ruins of it and the implications of a very dark tale behind the place). I really like that you've very boldly stated the date of the tale; it always makes stories so much more interesting and realistic when it has a precise location in a historical timeline. Another thing that really struck me was the unseen narrator, directly addressing the reader: Can you see it, the clean, white-washed walls with tidy gardens in which children played, dirt around their ankles? It really does sound like a storyteller speaking, and coupled with your lovely rhyme at the beginning, it gives your fic a very lovely feel of an oral account of an old, old tale, something like a legend.

You have quite the knack for effortlessly evoking historical settings; seriously, the whole village of Hamlin just leapt to life in your lovely, detailed prose - the whirring potter's wheel, children's laughter as they go to school and so on. I also think your portrayal of Hamlin as a town where magical and Muggle folks sort of get on along with each other is very interesting. It's very clever, and a very convincing situation to have the Muggles be partially blind to the magical folk, as long as the latter are useful in the running of the village. But as you showed later on in the chapter, when those awful Muggle councillors who are resentful of those with magic, the state of balance between both parties is a delicate one, and is easily upset by external forces, i.e. the plague. The descriptions of the plague-stricken victims made me shudder a bit. :P

You've introduced quite a large number of characters for a first chapter, but I think you've handled them all very deftly - they all stand out in their own ways, which is just amazing. From sensible Marigold to quiet Trip to each of the Four Founders and to Stephane Slytherin - they're all memorable, and I can't wait to find out how you'll develop each of their stories further. The Founders really do embody their House values, and your little details about their characters (e.g. Godric's girth and the kitten in Helga's arms and the snake around Salazar). I'm sort of getting this sense that many of the people present feel a vague discomfort toward Salazar and Stephane Slytherin, and their association with snakes. It's very subtle, this air of unease. Right now, Hogwarts is unified, but I can see how this will lead to Salazar growing apart from the other three. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to seeing how Stephane will handle the situation in Hamlin; he sounds like a very shrewd and clever man, just like his father.

Excellent beginning, Jenna! I'll definitely be back to read the rest of this fic; I think it's one of the most unique Founder Era fics I've come across! ♥


Author's Response: Hello, teh! :)

No worries, I didn't even notice a delay. :) I'm so glad you like this, and think it's original! It was actually inspired from a prompt in a challenge, and I really loved working on it. It's really lovely to get your review and have a fresh point of view on the story.

I really loved writing the beginning of this story especially. The style of it, with the sort of wistful, romantic fairytale voice, gave me a lot of freedom to enter the story in a bit of a wistful way. I pictured the story as beginning as a legend or old tale and moving into the more concrete narrative of the actual characters, which was quite fun to experiment with, so I'm very glad you liked it.

Thank you! :) That really means a lot as I do love writing historical eras. I'm really pleased to hear it felt like the village came to life, and the unique situation which the wizards and the Muggles are in. History shows how witchcraft was greatly feared in medieval times, but I wanted to tie in how the Muggles might turn a blind eye as long as the magical folk continued to be beneficial to them and their economy - money and safety trump fear, at least for a while. Hehe, well you know how I love my gory descriptions by now so I'm pleased it made you shudder. :P

Good, I'm glad to hear the characters aren't too overwhelming. It got a little confusing as there are multiple casts of characters to balance but I felt that each one was important and deserved to have some part of their story told, and the story doesn't just focus on Marigold even if she is the main character in a way. I'm so pleased you liked the Founders, and noticed how people felt uneasy around Slytherin - snakes, I felt, would be objects of fear especially back then, and it felt right that Slytherin be a bit of a shady and morally ambiguous character. Stephane is one of my favourite characters in this story because he is quite conflicted and has his loyalties with his father as well as his own morals to contend with.

Thank you so much for the amazing review, teh! :D ♥

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Review #2, by 1917farmgirl A Stranger In the Dawn

27th March 2014:
Okay, WOW! It's been too long since I read this story. I forgot just how meaty a work it is!

Seriously, reading this is like digesting Dickens or Tolstoy, and I mean that as the highest compliment. Your writing is incredible! It's so full and there are so many plots and characters weaving throughout this story that I have to read carefully to make sure I don't miss anything. Very, very rarely does that happen in fanfiction!

I can't believe all the parts you are bringing together in this! I'm so worried I'm gonna miss something! And I honestly don't even know who I'm rooting for yet...what I want to have happen. I know what probably will happen, at least to a small extent, giving I know the fairy tale, but still, you've twisted this so much to new paths and ideas I'm not even sure about that!

Marigold - I don't know if I want her to end up with Stephane or stay true to Trip, or if I just want to tell her she's too young to think about that anyway! And I feel so sorry for Vincent and want things to turn out well for him!

I don't want the Muggles to turn on their neighbors! And I don't want anything Stephane does to backfire! And I'm still very worried about Death lurking around. That image of the dead rats was disturbing, and I'm worried somehow they aren't done with that Plague.

See, all these questions you leave me with! Such AMAZING writing! How do you do it? Put so much detail and weave so many strands through each chapter? How do you keep track of it all?

I really like your almost backwards sort of story-telling. The present tense, the way you start a scene in the middle and then let us discover how it actually started. It's unique and so effective! I read your stuff and wonder what my silly little attempts at writing are doing out there in the world when there is writing like this happening!

Great story! I will be back to see what happens, promise!

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Wow, thank you so much! I absolutely love that comparison and am really quite honoured as Dickens especially is a literary icon of mine. I love how he writes "in excess" and so for you to compare this to his methods of writing is really amazing. ♥

I really enjoyed coming up with all the plots and sub-plots, and how they tie into one another. What I found in writing this story is that there was no real possible happy ending where everybody is happy, so I'm glad you're worried and unsure about what you want to happen.

I agree - she is a bit young, but right now she's quite taken with Stephane and how different and exciting he is. Girls in that time would get married very young, but Marigold has a lot of other things to worry about right now. And I know, poor Vincent!

I'm glad you're wondering all these questions about what is going to happen, it's quite exciting for me to read. I really have no idea how I keep track, except for making lists. The tricky part for me was making sure all the loose ends were tied up and all the characters accounted for, which was challenging.

I'm glad you liked the way the narrator hedges into the story - I didn't plan it that way, but it felt right for the nature of the story. And don't call your writing silly, you're a wonderful writer! :)

Thanks so very much for the lovely review! :D

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Review #3, by Rumpelstiltskin Epilogue

19th February 2014:
Goodness there's much to do, and much to read! I figured that since I haven't caught you in a while, I should probably come and finish FotT!

Hooray! She marries Trip!

It makes sense that Ravenclaw would be against marriage. She's looking at everything logically and rationally, just as I would expect her to. I really feel sorry for Helena, though. It's really no wonder why she stole the diadem, if she believed it would make her more intelligent. That way, maybe she would have worth in her mother's eyes.

Stephane was permanently marked by his actions in Hamlin, though he was really had the best intentions. I do feel bad for him, too.

You've really done a fantastic job at tying up the story and making way for different family lineages. Also, I love the origins of what will be the shrieking shack.

Oh, and there's a little twist at the end :D.

This was really just fantastic! I loved it~!!


Author's Response: Hello! :)

Yay! Great to see you back here.

I'm glad you liked Trip and Marigold getting married. Of course there was that little catch... but I think they had a long and happy life together.

Yes! Rowena here is very cold and rational and she likes to be unconventional. I'm glad you feel sorry for Helena as well, she's been neglected and pushed aside by her mother who doesn't really know how to love her. I felt quite sad writing about her.

Poor Stephane - he's so young and impresisonable, and he does take a lot of the blame. I like your way of saying it here - he had good intentions, but he is marked by it.

I'm glad you liked al the family histories and lines! The shrieking shack story was one of the first things I thought of with this and it was so exciting to finally reveal it. :)

Hehe, I'm glad you liked the twist! :D

Thanks so much for your thoughtful reviews on this story and for leaving me so much wonderful feedback! I really appreciate it! :)

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Review #4, by MyMyMiss The People of Hamlin

10th February 2014:
Hi hun! This was a great introduction into what I can tell is going to be an amazing story!
I must admit though, after reading the poem at the start I realized that I was reading the first three lines into the story as a poem too ... derp.

Anyway, I do enjoy a very well written interpretation of the founders/early ear, as the characters are so vivid to the imagination that we can explore so much with their characters, because we know so little about them.
But, I believe, you hit the nail on the head. The way you portrayed each character within this story is amazing, I especially love the way you desribed this...
'Yet there was one form of death which pervaded Master Peverell's knowledge, and it came festered on the hairs of rats from faraway ships, spread as they nibbled at the stores of meat and cheese, exploding in great pustules and grotesque mutations on the faces and skin of the people of Hamlin. This was a time of great despair, of fear, in which Master Peverell worked tirelessly to save those he could and soothe the dying brows of those beyond his help, watching helplessly as their skin began to spell over their eyes, the mouths wrenched in silent screams of burning, internal agony. This was the Black Death, the outbreak of enemy which came swiftly and without warning. Plague.'

That detail, yes that detail right in there, you see it? You re-read what you wrote!! Because it deserves a ten, just for that paragraph!

Amazing work hun, you should be very proud of yourself, and I will be moving on to the next chapter but will possibly review it tomorrow as I have a very bad headache at 1:30a.m in the morning and should be sleeping!!

10/10 xx

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Ah, thanks so much for coming by and leaving such a wonderful review! :D It really made my day!

Hehe, the poem was mostly written so I could set the tone for writing the story. :P That's actually pretty cool that it had you reading the first few lines like a poem as well.

I love founders as well! There is a lot of freedom within the familiar story, and I had a great time exploring that. I'm really glad you liked all the characters, it means a lot to me!

Aw, you're so sweet! :) I actually did just re-read that and you're making me blush about it now!

Thank you so much for the lovely review, it was so amazing and really means a lot! :D ♥

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Review #5, by CambAngst Unity

2nd February 2014:
Hi, there! So this was such a long, beautiful chapter that I have to imagine this review is going to fall well short of doing it justice. You included so many little things in it, both powerful moments for your characters and also clever little tie-ins with canon, that it would be nearly impossible to touch on them all. I'll just have to do my best in the time I have. :)

One thing I've been meaning to mention for a while is how much I like the poems you've included at the start of each chapter. You have quite a talent for them and they really add another unique thing to this story which is already so original.

I loved the contrast between Marigold's childhood dreams of glamor and riches and the unfulfilling reality of her new life at Hogwarts. It was a really great way to preface the events that followed. I liked the way that this strange, new adversity brought Trip and Marigold together. That must have been a bitter pill for Stephane to swallow.

You continued to build Marigold into such a strong female lead in this chapter. I really like her a lot and I can see where her descendants get some of their trademark stubbornness and inner strength. I also liked the bond that you created between Marigold and Rowena. They seem like a pair that either would have got on fabulously or torn each other's hair out. I don't see much in-between there.

Traveling back to Hamlin seemed like a very important piece of closure for Marigold. I don't think she ever could have accepted what she was being told without seeing it for herself. Not after Stephane's betrayal of her trust when he led the children from the village. The death of little Greta was a horrible yet appropriate end to the tragic story of Hamlin.

I did notice a few typos in this chapter, mostly issues of verb tense:

It was gently and carefully explains to the children that a great massacre had unfolded in their home -- explained

Hufflepuff was the one who explains to the children of the loss of their parents, who tried, with a worried crease between her eyes, to explain what had happens without frightening them into nightmares. -- explained and happened

She wishes they could fight for themselves, could see the perversion in their entrapment here, could understand the deception of how they had been bewitches. -- had been bewitched

The snake coiled around Lutheranís neck hisses at Marigold as they pass -- Salazar's neck?

she thought perhaps the two chevaliers had been inspecting it before they were so rudely interrupts. -- interrupted

Stephane stands still for a moment, clearly startles. -- startled

I have escorted him to be trains as a young wizard. -- to be trained

Her hand drifts towards the dagger: she does not even think to point her wand he who betrayed her. -- point her wand at he who

ďShe is deaf, you see- she must have not followed we others when you pipes. Greta,Ē -- when you piped

Aside from those things, the only other thought I had was that the inclusion of Peeves felt a bit... maybe 'overdone' is the right word. You have so many wonderful things going on in this chapter, I'm just not sure that you needed that bit.

Overall, terrific job!

Author's Response: Hi there! :)

I'm so happy you liked this chapter as well! :) It was a bit of a monster chapter, as it were.

I'm very happy to hear you liked the poems! Oddly, they were what I wrote first for each chapter, to set the mood of the story and what might happen in it. I guess they were a way to loosen up and get ready to write, so I'm so thrilled to hear your comments on them!

Yes, Stephane did sort of dig his own grave here. He should have known that this would drive him and Marigold apart, even though he was blinded by his need to protect her and his father's orders. Trip and Marigold, being some of the oldest children and the most aware, are right to be sceptical, though of course they do accept it a little grudgingly near the end of the chapter.

I'm so pleased you like Marigold - she was one of the first main characters whom I wrote in third person so hearing that she was a good character is really lovely. You're right about Marigold and Rowena, and they would certainly have some rough patches. I think they recognize in one another somebody who wants to break apart from the conventional female stereotypes, and they're both very independent.

You're right: Marigold would have kept stewing in bitterness had she not witnessed it for herself. Seeing Hamlin was horrifying, but crucial for closure and for her progress growing up and forming a new identity at Hogwarts. I'm pleased you mentioned Greta - her death and its significance was one of my favourite, though saddest, parts of writing this chapter.

Argh, typos! :P Thanks so much for pointing those out - I've gone through and fixed them, and have only my ipad and lazy editing skills to blame. The Lutheran thing came as a bit of a shock - I'm guessing Salazar somehow auto-corrected and I didn't notice! Ha!

That's a really good point about Peeves! I'm going to go back and reconsider that when I make a few changes to the storyline. I'm not sure whether he fits very well there, or whether it was just fulfilment of my love for Peeves leading him to forcing his way into the story!

Thanks again for the fantastic and helpful review, I really appreciate it! :) I'm very honoured that you're liking the story!

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Review #6, by CambAngst Exodus

29th January 2014:
Hello, again! I am seriously loving this story.

This chapter was so haunting and beautifully written. You took the tragic story of Hamlin's end and handled it with a what I thought was a really appropriate sensitivity. You didn't dance around the ugly details of the event, but you didn't glamorize them in any way either. It was horrible to read the sheer, callous brutality of it all.

I liked the way that you got Stephane over his lingering doubts. Salazar is a menacing figure, indeed.

So I have the feeling that we've just seen a very early incarnation of the Imperius Curse at work here. You worked so many small details into your descriptions that fit perfectly with that idea: the mindless obedience of the children, their indifference to pain, their super-human strength. Even in their very fortunate escape from the muggle villagers, there were tragic notes. I definitely felt the worst for poor Blind Johnny.

Following on that, you wrote the Founders with some really nice nuance and sensitivity. Soft-hearted Helga would of course be the first to rush to the aid of the newly-awakened magical children. I loved the little detail of a tear slipping from Godric's eye before he resumed his mask of unshakeable courage and strength. We learned some new things about Rowena in this chapter that continued to really set her apart from every other portrayal of her that I've read. The idea that she was, at one point, a wand for hire and a temptress who used her magic to lure untrusted courtiers to their demise was really clever and different. Of the four founders, I definitely thing you've brought the most to her character. Salazar reacts pretty much as I would have suspected.

Then there's the massacre, itself. I like the way that you didn't simply allow the wizarding folk to overpower their attackers and escape their fate. As I'm seeing things, they would have been very overwhelmed, having just lost their children to the Piper's curse. The plague was defeated, they were victims in this situation and I don't think they would have seen the attack coming. I'm curious to see whether Master Prince will demand any sort of vengeance.

Not that there's apparently much left to take vengeance on. In their lust to destroy, the poor fools burned their own town. There were no winners here, only various degrees of losing. In that sense, I think you kept very true to the spirit of the original story.

I see that the story comes to an end soon, and that makes me kind of sad. But I'm definitely looking forward to reading the rest of it. Awesome job!

Author's Response: Hello again!

Wow, thank you - I really wanted the scene of the fall of Hamlin to be tastefully yet vividly written. I remember feeling very solemn after visualizing and writing that scene, if that makes sense. It was very important to the story, and in some ways was the pivotal scene which represented the change between the old era and the new, so I wanted to do it justice.

Ah yes, I imagined Stephane would have a hard time resisting his father's immediate presence, the poor boy.

You're spot on with the idea of the Imperius Curse. That was just how I imagined it - the version is a little primitive, since the Imperius curse in HP allows the caster more direct, mind-to-mind control and allows the victim to act like they're still living a normal life. So this was a lot larger and less refined, but still terrifying. I'm glad you felt sorry for Johnny - I loved his character and debated his fate a little, but it fit best with the original legend and began the sequence of tragic events.

I'm pleased you liked the Founders as well. I felt that Helga and Godric would be the most compassionate, both internally and externally, while Rowena is very... cold. She's a little calculating and very rational. I'm happy to hear you liked the history on her as well, as I quite liked coming up with it. She was certainly my favourite of the four to write.

Ah yes, the massacre. I think it was very important for the story to have an absolute ending and then a new beginning from the ashes, as they say. I felt horrible for the wizards, particularly the Peverells' rather grisly fates, but felt that it was an important and tragic scene of hatred getting carried out of hand. Master Prince, I'm sorry to say, is quite cowardly. I don't imagine him having a happy end to his life, nor necessarily trying to return for his children.

Very true! It's not only the wizards who fall, but the Muggles and the structure of the town and the magical-Muggle harmony that it represented.

Thank you again for such a wonderful review! :) I've really enjoyed reading all your thoughts and appreciate you taking the time to leave me such detailed reactions, it's very helpful! :D

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Review #7, by CambAngst A Stranger In the Dawn

29th January 2014:
Hi, there! I was excited to read another chapter of your story and this morning I found the time. I wanted to say that I enjoyed it thoroughly!

First off, I must confess that I feel a bit dim, not realizing earlier how your story was likely to tie into the story of the Pied Piper. You've actually done a brilliant job of weaving two distinct narratives together. I understand now where the inspiration comes from, but the story itself feels completely fresh and distinct. You've done a great job of taking two sources of inspiration and creating something that is uniquely your own!

You've set up a really good conflict within Marigold, one that I can see playing out in a lot of interesting ways. By emphasizing her kind nature and her love and loyalty for her father, you've made it clear that she has deep roots in Hamlin. But then you layer on her fascination -- borderline crush, I would say -- with Stephane and I can see her heart ending up torn at the very least. Her dedication to her friends adds another dimension to her dilemma. Do you mind if I speculate shamelessly for a moment? Thank you, here goes: I imagine that Stephane is going to play his flute to lure the magical children away and find himself repulsed when Trip is among those who answer the call. Poor Marigold will be caught in the middle, torn between her fascination with Stephane and the limitless possibilities he represents and her loyalty to her muggle-born friend.

I've really come to like Stephane in spite of his bigotry. His heart seems to be in the right place... mostly, anyway. It could not be easy to be the son of Salazar Slytherin, especially a grieving, embittered Salazar Slytherin who seems to blame his son, at some level, for the death of his wife. I really liked all of the color you added to the Slytherin family in this chapter.

Maybe I missed this in the last chapter, but it just hit me that we're probably looking at the first magical Potter ancestor. Clever touch! Looks like the Potters and Slytherins will have been adversaries for a long, long time.

I am really enjoying your story. It's such an original and well-executed idea! Great job!

Author's Response: Hello! :) It's wonderful to see you back!

I'm so happy to hear you liked the story, and how the two stories tie together in HP and the Pied Piper. Hearing that the story feels fresh is very high praise, thank you! I loved writing this piece and incorporating the Pied Piper into the wizarding world, though it was a little tricky at times.

I love your analysis of Marigold - she is a very conflicted character who is about to go through a great many contradictions and trauma. Her fascination with Stephane is definitely at least a crush, since he's so new and original for Hamlin. But she does have the loyalty and love for her friends, family, and her history as a citizen of Hamlin as well. You know how everything plays out by now, but I love reading your speculations!

I like Stephane too, and I'm pleased you find him likeable. Exactly, he's a fundamentally good person but his father has him thoroughly under his thumb. I hoped to make Slytherin a little more sympathetic from the exterior he exudes, but he certainly is ruled by ambition and bitterness here.

I think you're actually the first reviewer to point out the Potter connection this early in the story! :)

Thank you so much for the amazing review, and the ones following. I really appreciate hearing your thoughts on the story, and it means a lot to hear that you enjoyed it! :D

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Review #8, by Rumpelstiltskin Unity

24th January 2014:

Just...beautiful; where do I begin (the beginning would probably be best)?

I don't blame Marigold and Trip for viewing the sudden luxury of Hogwarts, being exposed to such extravagance (things that I'm sure they've only dreamed about), because it all does seem too good to be real. Even more so, poor Stephane is to blame for the misfortune of the town and the cause of them being there, in their eyes. All he really wanted to do is to help, but I can definitely see why Marigold and Trip are forming their conclusions from. After all, they don't have the omniscient ability to see what is really happening (like I can ^.^).

Then, of course, poor Marigold longs to see her family and loved ones again, so she wishes that she was dead along with them. It is absolutely a sad thought, but it makes sense given her situation.

I love the references comparing the Founders with mythological beings.

Trip would make a very good Gryffindor, I think, just as Marigold would do well in Ravenclaw's House. It must be terrifying for her to feel so alone, though. I mean, even her peers see her as ungrateful. I think there's a fine line between being ungrateful and being suspicious and skeptical. The transition for some, I'd imagine, could be a marvelous thing. For others, however, like Marigold, I would think that suspicion would absolutely be roused (and firmly backed).

Oh Peeves! You simply *have* to love that poltergeist -- well, perhaps more so if you aren't at the receiving ends of his pranks or taunting. It seems Gryffindor isn't taking to kindly to Peeves, for the moment.

The little baron is certainly a handful, isn't he? Goodness he's brainwashed. The ladies can't pick up weapons, given their inferior strength, of course ;). He made me laugh.

Ah, perhaps Marigold will trust Stephane a little bit more after he has taken her to Hamlin (or what remains of Hamlin). Oh, and Marigold desperately believes that her parents must still be alive somewhere! That's so sad...and then Greta! Oh, poor girl. She was probably better off to be killed by the mob than to survive for so long like that on her own. At least she isn't suffering anymore :(.

And Marigold finally finds a place for herself at Hogwarts! That was amazing! The ending was beautiful!

I can't believe there's only one more chapter! But, at least there *is* one more chapter to wrap everything up!!


Author's Response: Hello! :)

Ah, it definitely is too good to be true! I imagined that after living such simple lives and going through the experience of the piper that this would be quite confusing. I myself don't know whether to be proud of or angry with Stephane here - he did act for the "greater good" or so he thinks, but the situation didn't work out for everybody and it is a little suspicious.

Poor Marigold is going through a tough time. :( She feels very isolated and betrayed and lonely, which I hope is quite understandable in the situation. Having seen so much Death in her life it would be quite difficult.

I'm glad you liked the mythology! (I'm not a nerd, nope, not at all!)

I agree! Trip is a perfect Gryffindor, and I felt Marigold would do well under Ravenclaw's eye. I agree - she's confused, and frustrated at how all the children accept it so easily. Marigold is a little sharper and more suspicious than the other children, and she sees the trouble which lies beneath.

I couldn't resist Peeves! I love the idea of his first victim being Gryffindor and the poor man getting really flustered when Peeves throws dung bombs on his armour and things.

Haha, the baron was such a little brat. Ugh. He made me irritated just writing him, but in an amused way! :P

I know, poor Greta. :( I felt sad for doing that but felt it needed to make the loss more concrete. I agree, it would have been terrible to be trapped there alone and surrounded by death.

Yes! I felt that Marigold couldn't sulk forever, and that once the children mourned their family and the village properly they would be able to move on to unity and a new kind of future.

Thanks so much for the amazing review, and for following this story! :D I've really loved each and every one of your lovely reviews.

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Review #9, by GingeredTea Epilogue

18th January 2014:

Okay, give me a second.

This was sublime and surprising and beautiful! I couldn't have imagined at better ending. Most of it was predictable, although I really admire the way you managed to flawlessly weave in the details about Ravenclaw's child, Slytherin's departure, Hamlin turning into Hogsmeade, the shack becoming the shack Remus had used, - the ending was the surprising part. You made a full round-about. You began this story where you ended it, and I love that about it. With the dark haired stranger.

I'm honestly struggling for words to describe my pleasure. This beautiful ending almost makes up for the fact that I am DONE reading this story!

Brilliant. I'm adding it to my favorite list NOW. :D

Author's Response: Hello! :D

Wow, thank you! I'm so glad you liked the ending and the different fates and histories of the other characters. I wish I could have written even more about this story! It's lovely to know you liked how the story came full circle, and the different degrees of happy endings.

I'm blushing right now, seriously! It's really an honour to know you liked the story so much. All your reviews and feedback was wonderful and made my day each time.

Thanks so much! :)

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Review #10, by Rumpelstiltskin Exodus

17th January 2014:
As always, the descriptions you've used to set the scene are breathtaking. I can feel the dampness in the air, hanging thickly with the ominous feeling of what's to come! (Yes, I'm excited, don't mind me.) Stephane's plan to lure the children from Hamlin, although backed with the very best of intentions-- to save them from a fate at the hands of the muggle offenders, where they would surely die --seems an awfully close to kidnapping. I really hope he knows what he's doing, and it seems as though he does. Yet, how will the children feel when they realize, although saved from their fate, that everybody that they love have been slaughtered while they live, led my this mysterious man who would then call himself a hero or a savior? I mean, I want the children to be okay, but I'm not sure that Stephane's plan is completely sound. Argh, with the mixed feelings.

The parade of children, marching away from their homes, was written beautifully. I can only imagine their parent's fear, confusion, and overwhelming worry. As Peverell briefly gives thought to, it is the time of the Plague, and many of the parents have already lost a number of their children, if not other loved ones. The way the spell is affecting the children is very similar to the Imperious Curse, causing them to act against their will. The strength they possess makes sense, as they have a single task that must not be interrupted. The strength ensures that.

Perevell possesses Death's invisibility cloak, and that is beyond awesome! His concern for his daughter, as well as the other children, is very endearing! I'll cheer him on as well, which means that I will be cheering for both parties. That's an odd position to take, but I can't decide who is more right, yet. In a similar situation, I feel as though I would attempt to hide my daughter from Death as well.

"For a moment, they look not like children, but animated corpses, an army of the loveless dead." --Gah, this is fabulous! Stephane's reconsideration really reveals some of his true personality. He feels as though he might not be doing the right thing, and that is positively marvelous because he actually wants to help the help Marigold.

Just wow. The emotions are so powerful, but how could they not be? The muggles don't understand what's actually happening, and sum it up to the work of the Devil. They're making a mistake, but they're ignorant. Ignorance usually leaves some kind of destruction in it's wake. Something bad is going to happen, isn't it? The poor children...and the townspeople!

The arrival at the castle, and the awakening of the children is almost heartbreaking. They're saved, yes, but as Hufflepuff wonders, what is going to happen to their parents? I don't know whether or not to be happy yet! It's a mixed feeling of joy and despair and I'm not entirely sure how to process that!

"In Hamlin, night falls." --Something bad is definitely going to happen. This is where I should definitely be covering my eyes, but I can't because I will be unable to read the rest of the chapter. *Deep breath* Here goes nothing. Oh gods, not Perevell! You can't kill Marigold's father, angry mob! ...they killed him...he's dead. I can't believe he's dead. He passed on the cloak to his daughter, and greeted Death willingly. Yeah, Rumpel's crying. I'm okay. Radley loses his son...and Trips' father loses his livelihood... his hands.

And then morning comes, and everything is lost.

That was...powerful and intense. And wow, fantastic.


Author's Response: Hello! :D

It's wonderful to hear you liked the feeling of the story, the descriptions and the ominous air. This chapter was very mysterious and tragic, and I really wanted that to come through. You're completely right- it is kidnapping, even if it's for a good end. And Stephane's plan has consequences and repercussions which the founders didn't consider or worry about.

It's lovely to hear you liked the description of the children leaving- I felt it would be extremely chilling and inhuman. It is rather like the Imperius curse: that was sort of how I rationalized the piper's tune in the wizarding context. The song creates a sort of mind-numbing compulsion, and there's something very wrong and painful about it.

I'm glad you support Peverell! He has a unique perspective on Death and what to do, considering he is a medical man and generally rather aware and wise. It is quite hard to determine who is right or not- both sides have their dangers and flaws.

Yes, Stephane's heart is in the right place. He doesn't want to hurt anybody, but he also does want to succeed for his father and to be noticed among the other Founders.

Ignorance is often destructive, and that is just what's happened here. Really, there was no other way for the muggles to react to such a sight.

I'm glad you found it heartbreaking! I felt that reaching there safely is very bittersweet. I think that the parents couldn't be equally swayed by magic because their minds are stronger and more developed- that was my rationale for it anyway. It is very sad, especially considering what happens back in Hamlin. :(

Ah, I'm sorry for the mob! It's horrible, how much everything is lost, but ignorance and hate have led to destruction. I actually really liked writing the destruction scene, but it was very emotional and painful at the same time.

Thank you so much for this incredible review, on this chapter and the others! I really can't express how happy it makes me to know how you like the story and how wonderful it is to hear your thoughts! :)

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Review #11, by GingeredTea Unity

17th January 2014:
Once more, brilliant.

I don't think I've remembered to say before, but your poetry at the beginning is always wonderfully done. I always admire poetry - it slips so easily onto paper for some. Poetry and I have battles and arguments until at last, both looking bloody and beaten, we settle on agreement that it is 'okay enough'. LOL

The beginning and ending of this chapter tied in so well together. You could have put them next to each other and they would have flowed beautifully and I find that to be awesome. You began and ended this chapter on the same note: Marigold's strength.

I love how you have constructed Trip. The Potter's - purebloods before Lily have always been accepting of muggleborns and you have made a great story about WHY. I also love that it wasn't the boy who had the cloak, but first the girl.

The way Marigold thinks almost reminds me of a Slytherin, but I think Ravenclaw was probably interested in her and Slytherin probably had NO interest. It is fascinating to think of where they would have been put if the hat was doing the job.

Stephane pulled through here and made some attempt to 'apologize' you might say, but I can really see where Marigold is coming from - that he can't be trusted.

I can't say enough good things about this story. I am so sad that I only have one more chapter! I will have to find another of your stories to fall in love with.

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Thank you! :) I'm really glad you liked it, the poems were usually the first part of each chapter I wrote so they helped me get in the mindset to write the rest of it. Ah, I know what you mean! I'm not much good at writing real poetry, but as this fit so well with the story it came quite naturally. :)

Marigold's strength is very important, and I'm glad you felt that. Each little chapter in this story has its own purpose, and this chapter was about Marigold's acceptance and, through her, the other children.

You're so clever for having caught onto Trip being a Potter so early! I'm pleased you like Trip. I did think it was a little ironic-in a wonderful way- that the Potter line and name actually originated from Muggles far back in the day. And then Marigold carries on the Peverell blood, even if all her descendants aren't aware of it.

Marigold does have some Slytherin traits, definitely. I imagined that early on, the founders would choose whichever students interested them the most, and Rowena liked Marigold because she saw her as a strong, intelligent young woman. I'm not sure where she would have been Sorted by the hat- she actually has qualities from all four houses, now I think about it- loyalty, bravery, cunning and wit.

Stephane, at least while he's under his father's wing, can't really be trusted. He did try, but sometimes things have just progressed too far to be forgiven. There is some resolution on that in the last chapter, of course! :)

Thank you so much for this wonderful review, and for liking this story! :) It really means so much to me. :D

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Review #12, by GingeredTea Exodus

16th January 2014:
This was, of course, an extremely powerful chapter. I am almost left with a lack of words. I was hoping desperately you would have Marigold's father live and gasped when you killed him! Ahh! It was like you had killed Sirius. I understood why you did it but... *glare*
LOL okay, moving on and a bit backwards. I loved how you began this chapter with Slytherin senior and Stephane meeting on the dirt road. The description of the children being called away was terribly realistic, both fascinating and compelling while also being very sad.
The way you had Marigold come into possession of the cloak was brilliant.

I am terribly terribly curious about what will happen next!!!

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Thank you! It's lovely to hear you found it powerful. I know, I felt awful as he was a wonderful man, but I'm glad you do understand why. :P It was a little cruel...

It's good to hear you liked the scene at the beginning, and the children being lured away. I'm really happy you found it realistic and sad! :( It really does present a change in the timeline of Hamlin and a shift in the story, and I hoped it would stand out.

Yes! Her having the cloak was necessary, and felt like something her father would do to protect her in a final act of love.

Thanks so much for the brilliant review! :D It's so exciting to me that you like the story. :)

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Review #13, by Rumpelstiltskin A Stranger In the Dawn

16th January 2014:
"Only the guilty rise before the sun." --Okay, that is the most perfect first line in the history of all first lines. Just saying. For the sake of character space, I'll try not to get too hung up on the very first line.

All of this personification for death (to Death) is making me entirely too giddy. While that feeling may be inappropriate for the subject of the story, I can't help but find the beauty in the tragic writing. I suppose that's the appeal of dark literature, though. The idea that Death is an unstoppable, ravenous entity (or non-entity, perhaps) is absolutely wonderful. I would much prefer to call it delicious, though that is an odd adjective to be used here, so I'll stick with wonderful. Marigold's father, haunted with a unfortunate past of his own, is truly compassionate to try to ease the suffering of Death's victims, though he knows that he does not have the ability (nor the right) to interfere in Death's conquests.

"Wickedness and desperation mate in the air." --and holy wow. Then there's the Plague, directly tying into that lovely line! (Watch out, you've got me started now.) Historically the Plague was has been known to have been one of the most severe suffering of all time. Without modern medicine to ease said suffering, the symptoms would sometimes overcome the victims before the body instinctively knew when to give in. I mean, the malaise, gastrointestinal issues, gangrene, seizures, comas, the *pain*...gah, what a magnificently horrific pandemic to ever sweep across history... and you have nailed the torment on an emotional level. More of my inability to form coherent sentences as I marvel at your work: gah! Marigold's perception of the man on the horse is fantastically dark as well, "he could be the envoy of Death himself". Stephane Slytherin, though his arrival was ominously presented, gives me the feeling that he may just be the savoir the town is looking for.

Vincent's ailments are tragic, but are so very beautifully written. The brief speculation on why Radley's son has been cursed with the sufferings of a physical deformity, while the town drunk's son is healthy, able to lead a full life (as full a life as one could get in that time, at any rate) amused me. The feeling of unfairness brought unjustly to oneself transcends times and is, what I believe, to be one of the largest grievances to otherwise fortunate people, even today. Not that I'm saying that Vincent is fortunate, as he clearly is not. Radley's dismissal of Stephane's preposition is realistic, as the tale of the magical school would seem bizarre and far-fetched, I believe. Though, by sending the children, it could only benefit them, in the very least separate them from the disease-ridden society that they've been forced to integrate with. That sounds like pureblood ideology, but that's not what I mean it to be. I'm just saying, the magical children should be able to have the opportunity to learn and master their magical abilities and that I agree with Stephane's cause.

Even the snakes are effected by the Plague. If this were a movie, I would probably want to shut my eyes. I fear for the children of the town, with the Muggle attacks so near. So, I'm rooting for Stephane! And the story of the Piper unfolds (marvelously, of course). The rats, carriers of the infectious bacteria, willingly drown themselves in the lake, in a spectacular display that could act as a Coup de gr‚ce for the townspeople. Marigold's wonderment is truly justified.

The clear explanation for the muggle's *need* to attack is beautifully written, "With the Plague, the Holy Father had surely been punishing the townsfolk for allowing the demonic creatures to practice their black arts for so many years, and to free themselves from sin they must avenge these lost virtues and prevent further Purgatory from raining down from the heavens." Their justification is sensible, to those who truly believe that the magical abilities of people are directly connected to the black arts, shrouding their faith and angering their God. Throughout history, it seems that, for the most part, has been justified as a religious purge. (I just want to take a moment to say, squee! I love this story!! I'm geeking out all over the place while I'm reading this, just so you know!...even more than when I went to go see Plague, the Musical.)

...the disease is in the water. A standing ovation on the accuracy of drinking alcohol as a substitute for water as it *was* often contaminated. The rats are decaying in the lake. Just love, lots of love! (And people in my house are starting to question my mental stability due to my excessive geek-outs over this story...)

Ah, Trip! Ouch, he's a little upset with Marigold over Stephane. To be fair, she is smitten with him, and Trip is jealous. Marigold's accusation of Trip being the freak, obtaining his magic through thievery or some other misguided venture was tough. Poor Trip.

Stephane's going to do something very bad. Marigold and Trip had a falling out, but she definitely wont be happy if something happens to him, especially at Stephane's hand. That's no way to win her heart. GAH! Now I really want to cover my eyes!

Then the last line... just...ah! To tie up the end, just like the beginning, where I feel that I could rave for hours on end. Okay, I'll stop the nonsensical rambling!

This was freaking fantastic!


Author's Response: Hola! :D *dies at the awesomeness of this review* Wow, thanks so much for all your wonderful thoughts! :) I'm really excited to answer this, in fact.

I knew I couldn't write a story about the Peverells in the medieval years without Death showing his spooky face. I love dark literature too, so of course I completely understand what you're talking about. Yes, both Marigold and her father have a strange insight into the workings of Death, and both know better than to try and defy Death besides the protection the Invisibility cloak offers. I quite enjoyed writing Death's appearance so it's lovely to know you approved.

I love all your geeking out here. :P The Plague would be completely devastating, and these people just have no way of cohesively understanding it. It's wonderful to hear you thought I did it justice and brought through the horror and the emotion- that's just what I hoped for! Stephane is both ominous and hopeful: he's a contradictory character to everyone, including Marigold's understanding of him.

It amused me a little as well, how Radley thought it unfair that his son would suffer when he is more deserving. It reflects how selfish and superstitious they would have been. I agree, it's definitely something which is still relevant to people today. I'm glad you found it realistic that Radley rejected the proposition: Radley, despite being the mayor, is quite selfish and doesn't look at situations quite clearly or rationally. I completely agree- even if Stephane's methods aren't completely acceptable, in the long run it would benefit the children to be taught.

I would probably shut my eyes too! :P Some of the images here are just terrifying. I'm glad you liked the way the Piper story progressed- it was a lot of fun though a bit challenging tying it in with the story.

I'm glad you thought the muggle justification to punish the wizards made sense. It fit very well, with religion being a justification to get rid of the slightly frightening magic, and to dispose of the wizards in powerful positions around the town. It's very tragic and irrational, but so were many religious conflicts of the era. I love all your geeking out! :D And what, there's a "Plague, the Musical"?!! What is this sorcery?

Ah, isn't the image of the rats in the water just awful? I'm glad you thought it fit historically. :)

Yes, Marigold did act out of place with Trip, especially since he's her old friend and she barely knows Stephane. She was being very rude and upset, but it's really no excuse. And bad things are definitely coming!

I'm glad you liked those two lines at the beginning and the end! :D

Thanks so much for this INCREDIBLE review!!! :D It really was so detailed and perfect and really made my day- you really are too wonderful! Thank you! ♥

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Review #14, by GingeredTea A Stranger In the Dawn

15th January 2014:

So, I read this last night. I couldn't do it justice then, though. I am really truly absolutely LOVING this story.

You have managed to really intrigue me with a Founders Era story, where I haven't even felt curiosity before. Staphane is beautifully crafted to be very realistic and the way you portray Slytherin senior is chilling an as if there is just a smidge of Voldemort there.

Although, I am worried about Staphane more. Is HE the Slytherin that will hate muggle borns? Will it be this Potter boy (he is the first 'Potter' right?) that will steal Marigold's heart and Stephane who will use the rejection to spur his hatred of muggleborns? I wonder.

Let's talk about Marigold for a moment. I feel with her as if she were a real person and you have managed to create this picture of her in my head. Your whole story makes my imagination go crazy, and I love that, because few books can do that. If your story were ever made into a movie, it would be one of those movies I left saying "nah, the book was way better". :)

I cannot wait to see what happens next! GAH! I'm assuming he will enchant the children and bring them to the castle - or maybe the mayor? Well, I'll let my imagination stew for a bit before I continue. Thank you for such a fascinating read!

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Yay! I'm really excited that you like the story, it really means so much! ♥

I'm so glad you're intrigued by my Founders story, then! :D I'm really thrilled you like Stephane as he's one of my favourite creations (Marigold is up there too!). I quite liked how frightening Slytherin was as well and I like how you could see some Voldy in him.

Interesting predictions! Stephane is a little mysterious. He's a fundamentally good person who is easily misled. I'm excited for you to reach the end and see what happens! :D

It's really lovely praise to hear Marigold feels real! Thank you! I'm so happy that the story ignites your imagination, I really loved writing it so getting this feedback is very wonderful.

Hmm, interesting guesses! :) I love reading your predictions! Thank YOU for the beautiful review! :D

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Review #15, by Rumbleroar goes roar The People of Hamlin

15th January 2014:
Wow this is a really interesting start and I can't wait to read on. Your writing particularly shined with the inclusion of the four founders. :) And you wrote that song at the beginning? Wow it was so beautiful! :D

Author's Response: Hi! :)

Thank you so much for all these kind words! :) I'm so happy you liked the inclusion of the founders, and the song. :D It was a lot of fun to write so it's great to know you liked it.

Thank you so much for the lovely review!

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Review #16, by Red_headed_juliet Epilogue

12th January 2014:
Here for my second review! I truly love this story. I feel like the Grim Brother's would've loved it too. You did a wonderful job at storytelling, both with the description of the world you created and the colorful dialogue you used. Like I said before, Hamlin had structure. I could picture every part of it, and I felt as though I knew the characters. The chameos were wonderful, and I like how you incorporated the ghosts of Hamlin, the childless parents, protecting their descendents as they adventured in the last monument of the horror. The whole thing came full circle, and I really really enjoyed every chapter. I hope some day to improve my writing to this level. This is only the second founders story I've read, and I think the others will probably pale in comparison.

Thank you for writing this!

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Ah, you went through and read the whole story?! Yay! :) I was really happy to get a review on this last chapter and hear people's opinions on the whole story.

I love the idea of the Grim brothers loving it as well- thank you! :D I loved writing it and coming up with these characters, and imagining the rise and fall of Hamlin.

It's lovely to hear you liked the cameo characters and how they sort of link into the books. I really wanted it to feel complete and relate back to the books. This story was very challenging but also very rewarding for me, so hearing your comments really means so much.

Thank you so much for the incredible review! :) It was so thoughtful and really made my day. :D

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Review #17, by GingeredTea The People of Hamlin

11th January 2014:
This was simply amazing! I'm kind of lacking for words, to be honest. You have done this amazing job of weaving in so many names - cannon and not - that I am just awestruck.

I don't think it needs saying, but I will say it anyway: your flow, characterization, descriptions, dialogue, entrance and ending were all superbly done.

PLEASE tag me again! I'll come back on my own in a bit if you don't. LOL AMAZING!

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Wow, thank you! I'm so honoured you enjoyed the story and found it interesting and engrossing.

I love writing in the style of this story, so your feedback on the stylistic elements and writing really means a lot. :)

Thanks for the lovely review! :) And yes, we must swap again soon! :D

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Review #18, by Red_headed_juliet The People of Hamlin

11th January 2014:
I've decided I'm going to have to review this as I read, or else I'll forget everything.

Kudos to drawing in the reader to the story so directly! "Can you see it..." "Can you hear them..." it is a real reminder and a great spot for you (me, the reader) to take the time to actual visualize the wonderful world you're creating, and it truly is wonderful! It's like this town actually exists, in brick, and stone, not just sketches and words on a page. Very good job!

I also love all the chameos. Peverell, Pettigrew, I'm assuming Potter will come up. All very nice. I also like how you're foreshadowing through this whole thing. I feel like I'm reading a published novel, and I can't wait to continue. I'm also glad that while he is referred to as Blind Johnny, she calls him John. It seems much more appropriate.

Witch burning has always intrigued and disgusted me, so the part with the councilors talking about expelling the wizards sends a shiver up my spin, even before the snake puts in his two cents.

As a Ravenclaw, I love her introduction! It seems as though you've done a great job with each of the founders. I always thought of them as personifications of their most notable traits, and you certainly have done a good job at fleshing them out. (Though I wish Ravenclaw was a good mommy, as I'm in her house, I agree with your portrayal of her interactions with her daughter.)

I'm quite eager to see if Stephane is a good guy or a bad guy! I've never routed for a Slytherin myself, but it seems as though his ambition comes from the right place, even if his father's ultimately doesn't, though now I'm afraid for Trip.

All in all, very beautifully told. I love the style, the word choice, and syntax. Everything fits perfectly with the picture you're creating.

Author's Response: Hello! :)

I'm glad you liked it and felt it drew the reader in! It was a new fairy-tale style I was trying out and I really loved writing that way. It's wonderful that you were able to visualize the village through the words, and felt it really existed. That is just such lovely praise! :)

Yes! It was really fun to imagine all the roots of the families and tie them into the town. Foreshadowing is just such fun! Wow, thank you! :) You're so perceptive, noticing how she calls him John, not the slightly rude nickname everyone else sees him as. Marigold tries not to define people by their qualities, but by how she sees them.

I feel the exact same way about witch burning- it's repulsive, but strangely interesting and there's so much hate and suspicion behind it. I'm pleased you found it creepy- that's just how I felt as well. :)

I'm glad you liked the Founders as well! I really did want to flesh them out and give them some depth and motivations. Rowena is quite cold, unfortunately for Helena. :( I wish she could have been better as well for her daughter's sake, but canon sadly shows otherwise.

Ohh conflict about Stephane makes me quite happy. He isn't really a good or a bad guy, but I love him anyway. :) You're right, his father is far more corrupt, but sadly he has a lot of influence over Stephane.

Thank you for this beautiful review, it was so full of lovely things! :) I really appreciate all your amazing feedback! :D

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Review #19, by patronus_charm Epilogue

9th January 2014:
Hi, here from review tag!

Wow this was a really great end to the story! Even though you tied up all of the characters and their stories, it wasnít done in a rushed way or anything which Iíve seen done lots of times before but you put real care and thought behind what happened to them all and it was all lovely. Then the way you made links as well was really great.

First with the Ravenclaws, I really liked that Rowena took in Marigold as her own and trained her up because I always felt that Marigold deserved to do well in the world and succeed and now she finally got her chance. You wrote Rowena very well too and she definitely felt in character and everything. I felt so sorry for poor old Helena though. It was the first time Iíve seen her as so flighty and light-headed but I really liked that side to her because it showed why she wanted to go against her mother. The ominous feel you left us on with what happened to the pair of them was really great!

Aw, Marigold and Trip married and I loved how you used that to tie it together to make sure that Harry was a line of the Peverells too and ended up with the cloak. Then there was the great comparison with the son of Stephane, because though Stephane was ok as the Slytherins went he had his father around at least so it made me wonder whether there could have been hope for Voldemort with his mother around. The fact that both Harry and Voldemortís ancestors were sort of friends was really great and an interesting twist.

You ended it perfectly and this was such a great read, with beautiful writing, characters and description!


Author's Response: Hi again! :) You are so lovely for leaving me such nice reviews on these last two chapters, I was so excited to get an opinion on them!

I'm glad you liked the epilogue and didn't think it was rushed, as I was a little concerned about that. I have full life stories for a bunch of these characters in my head but don't have the time and energy to write them, so I hope I did them justice! Thinking of the links between them was a great deal of fun, hehe. :)

Yes! Aw, I'm glad you're rooting for Marigold as I really do adore her. I felt like she and Ravenclaw would balance one another out as Marigold cares too much and Rowena is very cold. I know, poor Helena. :( I feel so sorry for her both in canon and in this story, but I hope it made sense why she turned out that way. I felt that she lacked her mother's strength and will, and that was a bit of her mother's fault. Yay, ominous is good!

Yes! Harry is a descendant of Marigold and Trip. I knew that at some point the Potter line crossed with the Peverells and this felt the right time to do it. That's an interesting point about Voldy, and I do feel like things might have been different for him had Merope survived. Stephane does have a kind of honour that his father lacks, but he's also easily manipulated by his father. He's not really a leader, sadly. I'm glad you liked the link between their ancestors as well- even though Marigold is far more a distant ancestor to Harry than the Slytherins are to Voldy, it's interesting to think of their family lines crossing in that way.

Thanks you for this beautiful review and following up with the story, Kiana! :) You're awesome! :D

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Review #20, by patronus_charm Unity

7th January 2014:
Hey! Here for the 12 days of reviewing :D

Ok there are so many things I loved about this chapter so if itís a bit rambling Iím sorry :P

Yay for them now being at Hogwarts that was really great because it was such a twist to the usual founders story with the Pied Piper leading them there. I really loved Marigoldís negative view of the founders because it was just so different to the usual one but really refreshing compared to the whole I love you and youíre awesome thing.

Her nerves when being sorted were so horrible I just wanted to hug her. I can actually see her as a Ravenclaw because sheís very quick witted and can suss out a situation really quickly, so it was great that you went to the effort of tying in her characterisation with that. Also, a very minor note but the small references to Gryffindor and Ravenclaw being like Roman gods was great!

Ooh I loved the story behind the secret passageway it was really interesting and great that you included it because Iíll think more about it now :P

Wah, Iím still not sure about Stephane. I sort of like him because he went and picked out Marigold to make sure she was ok and stuff, but he probably caused the destruction of Hamlin by taking them away so not so good in that respect. Speaking of Hamlin it reminded me of what happened in district 12 in the Hunger Games if youíve read, and everything was so helpless and lost. When they came across Greta I really thought I was going to tear up because she was just so helpless and in need of a hug or something similar.

I feel so bad about Marigold losing her parents and her grief was all so real that it made it even worse in that respect.

Ď Iíll always be the potterís boy,Ēí a nod towards Harry? :P Also the mentions of Helena being alone were great and sort of explained the decision to steal the Diadem too!

The ending was great with her talk with Rowena as it left so much unsaid and hopefully Iíll have time to get round to the epilogue soon and see how it all finishes off. Great chapter!


Author's Response: Hi Kiana! :)

Thanks so much for coming back and reviewing this! I was really eager to find out what people might think of it. :)

Yes! The path to Hogwarts was a little more sinister due to the Piper being the one to force the children to go there! I'm really glad you liked the founders being more negative at this point and found it original- I agree, it's rare that the founders are seen as anything other than heroes. :P

I know, poor Marigold! I feel like it would be quite frightening and confusing especially since she didn't want to be there. I'm glad you found her being a Ravenclaw make sense: I thought it fit her well and that she would have a lot to learn from Rowena. Ah, thank you, I liked that reference as well. :)

I'm glad you liked the explanation of the passageway! I love Hogwarts history and lore, and writing about how it could have come into being.

I agree about Stephane- he's a rather questionable and multi-faceted character to me. He has good qualities and bad ones, and he's easily manipulated by his father, but he does truly care a lot about Marigold. Ah yes it is a little like District 12! I can't imagine how hard it would be for someone like Marigold to go back and see what had happened to her town. And yes, poor Greta! :(

Yes, good catch there! :P I was wondering if anybody would point out the links between Trip and Harry. :) I'm glad you liked how Helena was portrayed as well though it was quite sad to think about her childhood.

Thanks so much for this amazing review, lovely! :)

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Review #21, by CambAngst The People of Hamlin

6th January 2014:
Tagging you from Review Tag!

To start off, I have to say that this is one of the most unique stories I've come across in a long time. Not just the subject matter -- which is pretty brilliant in its own right -- but the storytelling style is very different from anything else I've read recently. It almost had the feel of listening to a wandering minstrel, telling tales for his supper. Or perhaps listening to a favorite uncle spinning yarns around the fire. It's very original and you seem to be very adept and comfortable with the style.

You set up a great scene in the village of Hamlin. It's fun to ponder a time in the distant past when all of the rigid formality surrounding the lives of witches and wizards in Britain did not yet exist. No Statue of Secrecy. No Ministry of Magic. No Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery. I love how the witches and wizards of Hamlin don't completely conceal their abilities, but they don't exactly flaunt them, either. Just a nice, live-and-let-live sort of approach.

Your three protagonists in the village were all very interesting and engaging characters. Marigold seemed very sweet and caring and humble, but also strong and practical. I'm trying to work out which of the three Hallows her father possesses. I'm guessing the cloak, although I suppose it could be the stone. I can already feel difficulties brewing for Trip, as a muggle-born wizard. He's about to be thrust into a place where he'll feel the sting of Salazar's bigotry. At least he'll have Marigold there to take his side. I somehow doubt that she'll be able to conceal her wealth and noble birth once she's surrounded by her own kind. I'm almost more intrigued by Blind Johnny than the other two, however. There were no disabled students in the books and it's a topic that's rarely touched upon in fan fiction. This unlikely trio you've constructed should have a very interesting life inside the newly founded school.

There's not too much to say about the three village counselors. They were suitably sinister and misguided. I actually think my favorite thing about the section was that historic detail you worked in about the villagers slaughtering the dogs and the cats because they suspected them of spreading disease. It was one of the worst mistakes made during the Black Death. You've done an awesome job of wrapping the history of the event into your story!

Lastly, there was the meeting at Hogwarts. I thought that your characterization of the four founders also set your story apart just a bit from the other founders-era stories I've read. Salazar was probably closest to his "traditional" fan fiction characterization, but there are definite differences. He seems more respected by his peers than he's usually written. Either the conflicts have yet to arise or he's being more clever about hiding his prejudices. Helga seemed much stronger than I typically see her. If I read it correctly, she was the first among the founders to suggest rushing to the aid of the magical residents of Hamlin, even if Godric was the loudest. Godric came across like a bit of a lout. An older man who was perhaps a little past his prime, allowing his sons to carry the family standard. My favorite, I think, was Rowena. She seemed younger than the others. Bolder and quicker to action than I normally see her. But there's also a coldness to her character. She seems willing to leave the villagers to their fate if they're unwilling to take responsibility for their own safety. And her treatment of little Helena was not very admirable.

All in all, a brilliant start to your story! I look forward to having a chance to read more!

Author's Response: Hi there! :)

Wow, thank you so much for all these amazing compliments! I'm very pleased you found the story original both through the plot and the writing style. I loved writing it and imagining how a legend might be translated into print, and your descriptions of how the style felt are really lovely and just what I was hoping for. Though the narrator isn't in the story, I liked the idea of being able to feel the narrator through the storytelling, the sense that perhaps one time this story had been spoken and told.

It's wonderful to hear you liked the explanation of Hamlin as well. I imagine that things would have been quite different and rather unlawful, judging from what I knew of History of Magic from the books - whidh given Harry's lack of interest in the class, isn't a whole lot!

Marigold is just that - she knows her own mind and is very strong while also being kind. Yes, Trip is one of the earliest Muggleborns to be revealed and things would have bee more difficult for them. I'm really pleased to hear you were interesting in Blind Johnny as well, and what might happen to him in the course of the story. I felt that for a blind orphan, he would be one of the luckier ones to be brought in by the Peverells, and he's a lovely character for me to write about.

The counsellors are quite sinister! I'm afraid they're quite power-hungry and don't have many redemptive qualities to their credit. I'm really glad you pointed out that detail about the cats and dogs, when I read about it I thought it was just awful and so sad. And then the fact that then there were no animals to kill the rats!

I'm glad you found the founders a little original with their usual portrayals! I seem to read a lot of stories where Slytherin is more of a good guy and becomes more sinister later on, but I really wanted to write him as rather dark, at least to the reader. Yes, Helga! I imagined that to be a woman working among men at this time, both she and Rowena would need to be quite strong-minded. I thought that her compassion mixed with her power would make her a strong advocate. Haha, that's just how I see Godric! I'm glad you liked Rowena, she fascinates me the most here. She is quite cold, quite logical, and she lacks Helga's compassion. I imagined her as wanting to reject the standards of what was expected of her as a woman, which sadly includes motherhood. She doesn't know how to be a mother and a political player, which is quite sad for Helena.

Thank you so much for the incredible and thoughtful review! :) I really appreciate all your kind words.

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Review #22, by Rumpelstiltskin The People of Hamlin

5th January 2014:
Would you believe that I was kidnapped by an army of Acromantulas who prevented me from reviewing for so long? I escaped, though. I wont get into the details because they're irrelevant, given I'm a cunning Slytherin. True story.

You never cease to amaze me with the endless amounts of beautiful imagery. "The story lingers at the edges of storybooks, in the whispering softness of the first snow, in the eyes of the storm bringers who tread the cracks between love and hate." Honestly, how do you read something like that and not get pleasant chills? I could go on forever with all of the lovely lines in this, but I wont; there isn't enough room in the review box.

The elegant descriptions aside, the story itself is very interesting. I tend to love on Founders era stories because of all of the historical background information. The sheer amount of that information in here is remarkable compelling! I love it! That includes, but is not limited to, the idea of the Black Plague.

Also, the voice of the narration reminds me of an old-time-y storyteller. It reminds me of my mother telling me bedtime stories when I was young, so I'm really just loving all over this.

Since there are no wizarding schools, young witches and wizards were taught by their parents, thus Muggle-born witches and wizards don't receive proper education. That's definitely an interesting, realistic concept that I hadn't previously considered.

Then, there's the concept of the Muggles forming attacks on witches and wizards. Gah! This story just has so many wonderful ideas! This. Is. Absolutely. Brilliant!


Author's Response: Hi! :) What, I think that's a perfectly good excuse (though a little frightening). I'm just glad you're here at all! :D

Wow, thank you! I'm glad you got pleasant chills, that's just what I was hoping for. I'm happy to hear you liked the language and images here, I really wanted to bring the time and the town to life.

I love Founders too, and being a bit of a history nerd wanted to include many details and facts. I'm glad you found it interesting and detailed.

Ah, I've had a few reviewers say that! While other stories I'd written before this were mostly in first person, I wanted to explore a new kind of storytelling and voice. I'm glad you liked it! :D

I'm glad you found it reasonable! I have a lot of doubts and ideas about how reliable Hogwarts education would have been through the years, and thought it would make a lot of sense that either Muggleborns would not be educated at all, or often would just hide their magic from everyone for fear of being persecuted.

Yes! I figured that the attacks would be a good addition to tie Hamlin's fate into the HP universe and show how tense things would have been at the time! :)

Thank you so much for the brilliant review, it was so great to hear your thoughts! :D I'm so thrilled you like the story so far! :)

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Review #23, by magnolia_magic The People of Hamlin

25th December 2013:
Jenna, I have to confess that I devoured this story in one sitting last week, but I didn't take the time to review. I'm such a bad reader, I know :( But I want to make up for it! Consider this my way of saying Merry Christmas :)

I think the main reason why I didn't review as I was reading was because I really didn't know how to express how much I love this. There is just so much to comment on that I don't know where to start! Your attention to detail is incredible. I love that you gave us some back story of how the town formed, because those are details that it would have been very easy to gloss over. By including them, you add so much great context to the events to come.

I was enchanted by Marigold, Trip, and Blind Johnny, but the character I connected with most in this chapter was definitely Stephane. You've set him up as a fascinating character, and knowing Salazar's history as we do, we as readers have to question his motives for suggesting Stephane for the task. But Stephane himself seems like an honorable young man, and I'm definitely rooting for him at this point :) Also, I love the way you portray the Slytherins' relationship with snakes. It's such a uniquely Slytherin thing, and you do it justice in this story. It's a fascinating read :)

I'll try to be back to review the other chapters soon! I love this story so've done an incredible job with it!


Author's Response: Hi Maggie! :) Wow, this beautiful review and finding out that you liked the story are just two wonderful Christmas presents in one! Thank you so much!

It really means so much to me that you liked the story, especially since you're a Founders writer yourself. I'm really glad you liked the details since I was worried they would be a little much or overwhelming, I loved writing about the history of the town.

Ah, Stephane. He's one of my favourites and I'm glad you find him both a little suspicious but an intrinsically honest and honourable person. :) I'm really glad to hear you noticed all the snake references too, since it's not only Slytherin mascot but also part of Voldy's Slytherin inheritance I felt like they would use it as a tool and sometimes a weapon.

Thanks for the amazing review lovely! :) I really appreciate your feedback. ♥

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Review #24, by MidnightBlue_x Exodus

22nd December 2013:
Okay, final review for this request. If you'd like to review for the next chapter then please feel free, of course you can wait until you have more chapters or you can request for just the one.

I feel like I sort of got carried away with my last review and that I didn't really address your concerns, so I'm going to try and focus on those in this review.

Firstly, the characters. I think it's safe to assume that you realise how much I really do like your characters. Stephane and Marigold in particular, but I also really like the more minor characters. I like how even the smallest of characters get named- I think that really gives it this genuine medieval sort of feel in which everyone in the small town would know everyone else.

Secondly, the plot and the ideas. I like the plot. I like how you've based it off an old tale but you've given it your own little twist to it. This way the readers sort of know what to expect but you're still able to surprise them with how you describe the events and whatnot. I think each section of the chapter flows really nicely into each other- one section can be talking about something and the next about something completely different but they don't seem forced or awkward, they just mould into one another. I still love the story of the Muggles attempting to go against the wizards. I know the ideas are the same as the witch trials, but I still like how you've managed to write it.

Finally, I don't think that it is possible to tell that the chapters have been written with a lot of time in between. I really think, like the subject of each of the chapters alone, that they really flow into one another nicely. All in all, I still think you've got a wonderfully written story here that you should be incredibly proud of.

I hope these reviews helped in some way and wish you all the best luck with the future. Merry Christmas!

x Ely

Author's Response: Hi again! :)

I don't think you got carried away- I loved your last review and this one as well! :D

It's so wonderful to hear you like my characters, really it's such high praise to get. It's really nice to know that you thought it emulated that small town feel. I wanted to include all these minor characters as it's not just the story of Stephane and Marigold, but also of the fate of the other townspeople as well.

Good, it's really helpful to know you liked the plot as well. Working it around the story of the Pied Piper was both challenging but simple in a way since the basic outline is already there. I'm glad to hear that the flow was alright, and that even though they jump around a little it isn't too confusing, as I was quite worried about that. I'm glad you liked the idea of the muggles rising, it was definitely based on the witch trials and quite fun, though also sad, to kill so many characters in these horrid and sad ways.

Ah I'm so glad to hear that they don't sound too dis-connected! I really appreciate you reading the chapters in such close proximity and being able to give me that perspective, it's very helpful. Thank you- I am very proud of it! :D

Thank you for these lovely reviews, Ely! :) I really appreciate your thoughts and all the praise really means the world to me! Merry Christmas to you too! :D

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Review #25, by MidnightBlue_x A Stranger In the Dawn

22nd December 2013:
Back again with your reviews for this chapter and the next one. I just want to say that even if you hadn't re-requested, I was planning on continuing to read the story, so I'm glad that you did.

I love the little songs you include, especially because you wrote them yourself. They really add to the story and give it that real genuine feel to it. I know I said the same thing in my last review, but I really feel like it's a brilliant thing to add to the story.

I love the description about Death, especially how Marigold can still feel him lurking around. I liked how you added in how Death saw himself as the master of the Peverells- it gives off that really creepy vibe, but it's also written so beautifully.

I still love Marigold as a character. I think you've written her wonderfully- I like how she understands the world around her even though she's quite young. I like how she's selfless too- she's worried about Trip and his magic, rather than herself. For me, that makes her an incredibly likeable character. I liked Mayor Radley as well- I think the fact that you mentioned his son with the twisted leg, it's not usually a thing that gets written about, but it is something close to my heart. Especially the fact that he is more worried for the boy than ashamed- that was really nice to read.

The fact that Stephane seems so shocked about a muggle being able to do magic was really well done. I liked seeing what he thought before the prejudice about muggle-borns really became a thing. I think the fact that Stephane actually wants to stop the plague is a very powerful thing-it's not necessarily something you'd hear from a wizard, I think. The fact that he actually manages to do it, was amazing. I'm definitely growing to love Stephane as a character.

I love how you build the detail in the story. Now, especially, since I realise I've read other pieces of yours, I can see the real variance in your style. I think it's wonderful that you can write a story like this with so much detail and story, and also write a story like GfS which is more character based. For me, this just highlights how much you've put into this story.

I'll be reviewing the next chapter now!

x Ely

Author's Response: Hi Ely! :) First of all thanks so much for giving me all these wonderful reviews, and hearing that you wanted to keep reading anyway really made my day. ♥

Ah, I loved writing the songs! For each chapter they were the first thing I wrote to get a good feel for what might happen. I'm glad you felt it added to the story.

As soon as I knew the Peverells would be my main focus I knew there had to be a mention of Death- I felt that he would continue to haunt the descendants of Ignotus especially. I'm glad you found him creepy, but also an interesting addition. :)

It's wonderful to hear how you like Marigold! She is very kind and helpful to others, and cares about her family and friends. Mayor Radley was a really unique character for me to write as well - I'm glad you found his love for his son touching as I think it gave an interesting spin to his character.

I'm glad you liked the interpretations of muggleborns as well! I sort of imagined muggleborn wizards mostly being frightened and staying secret, so a muggleborn talking about his abilities would be quite confusing. I'm glad you like Stephane, as I really love him too- he has heroic and great magical qualities, but also a lot of flaws and selfish inclinations, so he's a real joy to write.

I'm really honoured you enjoyed the detail, and can tell how hard I worked on making this detailed and unique! :) I really love playing with different styles of stories and narrative.

Thank you so much for this beautiful review! :)

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