Reading Reviews for The Peverell Society
15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Hannah 5. A Shift in the Plan

9th October 2014:
I have just discovered your work and I am hooked. I always thought the Deathly Hallows would come back and bite Harry. PLEASE KEEP WRITING!

Author's Response: Wow am I overdue with this response. Thank you so much for reading and I will try to write more very soon!

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Review #2, by CambAngst 4. The Longest Day

5th April 2014:
Ooh! A courtroom scene. Lots of good information always comes out in courtroom scenes. Good information or good misinformation, at any rate.

I tend to think that Hermione would make a good prosecutor. She's smart, tough but very fair-minded. She's not the sort who would railroad a defendant for no good reason. And with Zacharias Smith, she has plenty of good reason to want to put him away. I have a bad feeling that he'll never see the inside of Azkaban, however. This trial seems like mostly a fishing expedition for the Peverell Society. And they're fishing for Hallows.

Amelia Bones must have survived Voldemort's assassination attempt in your timeline. Not a bad thing at all. I always liked the character.

Wow, Ernie is kind of an idiot. I understand that Hermione wouldn't have been able to collaborate too much with him on his questioning of the witnesses, but you'd think he'd have the basic common sense to avoid questions that could only lead to further harm. Then again, maybe he wasn't close enough to Harry's inner circle to ever learn very much about the Hallows.

Poor Harry. He doesn't even have a chance to fall into Smith's trap before Ernie is dragging out dangerous information. It's like a competition to see who can spill the most secrets. Harry tries really admirably to treat the whole situation like a joke. It's all he can do under the circumstances really. But ultimately it doesn't work in the end.

Yes! They destroyed the wand. Which is what Harry probably should have done in the first place. One of those rare occasions where the movies didn't follow the books and it actually lead to a somewhat better outcome.

I enjoyed the Order meeting. It seems like Kingsley has been exiled to the kids' table at the family picnic. At least that's how I interpreted the way that they all left him alone with Luna. ;)

Good job, Scorpius! Let's see who else is involved in this conspiracy.

Poor Harry. He just wants to move on with his life and leave the past buried, but it keeps resurfacing to taunt him. I like the quiet sort of love and support that Harry and Ginny shared at the end. He's not facing things alone this time.

I noticed a few typos as I was reading:

They needed to bring in somebody to see how that was even possible, given the sensible nature of the magical objects involved. -- sensitive nature

Harry got up and made his way towards the seat in the middle of the room and accepted the vial, dawning it's contents. -- downing its contents

“And can you tell the court was item was taken from the location in question?” -- what item was taken

The whole room went up in a roar, and not even Amelia Bones' cried for order couldn't silence it. -- and not even Amelia Bones's cries for order could silence it.

I don't want to thing about Hallows and Horcruxes and deaths and threats. -- want to think

Excellent chapter! Your plot is marching on. Be back soon...

Author's Response: Hey Dan!

The plot was indeed marching on a year and a half ago when you wrote this, but hey, better late than never, right? I took note of the typos and will edit them out so thanks for that and for your input. I'm going to give this whole story a makeover and probably finish it, because I've got so many ideas for it, I can't wait to get them all down on paper (well... computer).

Thank you for the feedback and for always being such an inspiration with your stories!

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Review #3, by Bardic Magic 5. A Shift in the Plan

30th January 2014:
Excellent chapter, as always. And, as always, biting my nails for the next chapter! I'm sure you would agree that it would be nicer for all involved if you were independently wealthy and had nothing to do but write and post chapters!! But, alas.

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #4, by newbeatle 4. The Longest Day

24th January 2014:
It started with The Mysterious Case of the Twin Wands and now I'm hooked. Can't wait for this story to continue (I think that constantly refreshing the page will do no good for me :D)

Keep up the good work. I really enjoyed The Mysterious Case of the Twin Wands and this sequel too. ;)

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #5, by MissesWeasley123 3. The Calm Before The Storm

6th January 2014:
Hello, Ral! Here for day 11 of the 12 Days of Reviewing! (Thank god it's almost over, you have no idea the pain I've been in the last couple of days...)

Gurl, you need to write a stand alone Ron and Hermione. That was adorable. Most of the chapter was just them, and it was beautiful. I loved the little things you said, and here were a few:

When she smiled, Ron still saw the girl from all those years ago, looking at him in shock as she dropped Basilisk fangs on the floor. When Hermione told him off for something he did, he was a 4th year all over again, being lectured for his immaturity.

One of the things I loved in that was the way he just stood there admiring her. He wasn't watching her, no he was admiring the person she was and in those lines we saw how beautiful she is to him, and always has been. That was so adorable! The next beautiful thing had to be the, "Always the tone of surprise." Because it was familiar, and so cute to know that they still remembered.

They are just so in love after all this time, and that is sweet. Their passion and love is eternal and GAH this has to be my favourite chapter so far hands down just because they are my OTP and yeah, ♥

Then Smith has to come along :( The way you described Smith's surroundings reminded me a lot of the Joker from The Dark Knight, the Christian Bale version, if you've watched it. In the movie the Joker is a bit troubled, but otherwise relaxed because he KNOWS he's going to come out of jail.

Any-who, great chapter lovely! I'll be back for the next chapter asap, and then I expect more chapters from you!

Smith really isn't that annoying boy any more from the Order, he's definitely twisted, and definitely becoming a villain - and rightfully so.

Author's Response: I'm so happy you liked the RoMione feels because gah, they give me so many feels.

Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #6, by MissesWeasley123 2. Lunch Breaks and Catching Up

5th January 2014:
FAMILY REUNION! And then. Old Kingsley is being mean. Meh.

I loved this chapter so much. One of the best things had to be Harry standing up to Kingsley. He was rather annoying wasn't he? Especially when he started calling Harry, "Auror Potter" and it was sad to see that respect and friendship deteriorate by the second, whenever a retort was said. It was sad to see but very believable. I can imagine why Harry would disagree and I'm glad he did. Hermione pleading for him to be a witness was very well written as well, and so believable. Harry's determination really shined through and it was nice to see.

I have to comment on Albus, because how dreamy is he? Total babe. He seems like such a cool guy and you never did tell me where in Canada he was posted... *sigh* and now he's back in London. ;) but seriously, Albus was the best. And then Lily! Oh my god she's so strange. I love how she's the one helping George out, which is nice. I've never liked Ginny as a character, but your Lily makes me feel like THIS is how Ginny should be. Lily's funny but her relationship with Al is so cute and they truly are adorable siblings.

Rose is so dorky, that is all!

AND YOU WITH YOUR CLIFFHANGERS AGAIN! Ral, I'm serious. -_- Nah, but wow. That man that's watching them... *shiver*

Great chapter lovely! Have a great New Year!

Author's Response: Thank you sweetie!

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Review #7, by LightLeviosa5443 1. Beginnings

30th November 2013:

Awesome first chapter! I positively loved it. The amount of details that you put into the story were absolutely fantastic! As before I simply love the way you portray Ron, it's truly spot on, and his relationship with Hermione is so believable. It's refreshing to read the characters almost as they were in the original books. Can I also say that the fact that Hermione is now the one sensitive to her and Rose's relationship is wonderful, I love that they're getting closer again. You also do a brilliant job with Harry. I've read a lot of fics where people make Harry too serious, or too joking, and you hit the chord just right. I think it's harder for us to see him as an Auror and not ridding the wizarding world of Voldemort, but you do a brilliant job of showing us older Harry, and I love that.

I loved the prequel to this story, and I think I already love this one more. Like I said, you're great with details, and you really leave nothing out. Can I just comment on when you were explaining all that Hermione has done for fairness of justice. That was a very clever bit, and the fact that you went on to recall examples and explain even more was impressive.

The beginning when she was walking in had me going for a minute, I totally thought it was someone bad from the society and they were going to start killing people all over again. I was so worried! But then it was an adorable Scorose scene. Love those!

I don't see any major grammar or spelling mistakes, in fact, I don't think I see any! So brilliant job there! I can't wait to keep reading on, this story and it's prequel are definitely going in my favourites!

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Oh MY GOD! Imagine my surprise when I get online and I see all of these amazing reviews from you! You have truly truly made my day and I am so so sorry for being so late in my responding!

"Twin Wands" was originally going to be a stand alone and then I decided to give it a sequel. And I'm very excited for this novel and I am glad you feel the same! I really want it to reflect my journey as a writer from day one, up until now.

As for the society causing trouble, don't worry. We'll get to that too :P

Thank you so much for the reviews! You are amazing!

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Review #8, by CambAngst 3. The Calm Before The Storm

16th October 2013:
Hi, Ral! I'm back to lavish a little love on chapter 3! Also to engage in pointless alliteration.

The scene with Ron and Hermione was melancholy and adorable. I don't normally see Ron written as such a deep and introspective character, and I really like what you did with him. He does still have his biases and personality flukes, but you got underneath them here and explored some of the memories and feelings that underlie the personality traits we see on the surface.

I love the idea of Ron and Hermione still being so devoted to one another and so deeply in love after thirty-ish years of marriage. It seems perfectly natural to both of their characters: they're such loyal, warm and passionate people. The story that you tell through Ron's reminiscing is very easy for me to relate to and I'm only halfway there, in a sense. But the idea of time going by so quickly that you find yourself looking back and pictures and regretting the fact that you didn't take more time to enjoy those events as they happened is a universal experience for most anyone who makes it to middle age.

Ha! I love Ron getting all protective of Rose while Hermione is subtly encouraging her to take flight. He has such a strong and almost possessive sense of family, so much like his mother. Hermione, who spent part of most summers at the Burrow and eventually sent her parents away for their own protection, has more of a sense of adventure for her children. Again, you nailed it on matching their perspectives to their pasts.

Zacharias Smith is starting to grow on me as a villain. You sort of sprung him on us very late in the game in Twin Wands, but now that I've had some time to adjust, he does seem more menacing. His section ties together nicely with Harry's anxieties about testifying under Veritaserum. Obviously, the Society is far from finished.

So one small typo I noticed:

But the old fortress was still damn and windy, its cells small, and most of its residents insane. -- damp and windy?

Otherwise, beautifully written. And now I'm at the end, waiting for more. Don't be long! (says the guy who always takes too long to update ;)

Author's Response: So I am so late responding to this I might as well shut down my account and go burn in shame somewhere! But you know how life happened and you won't hold it against me!

I am so happy you liked this chapter and that you liked my view on their later years. Since for me you are kind of the authority on this generation in HP fanfiction, it means a lot!

It was actually a bittersweet chapter for me, since I grew up with these characters and when I write I try to get into their state of mind and feel what they are feeling. And I'm also looking back on the adventures with a sad fondness and wishing I could do it all over again.

In my mind I associate this older Hermione with my own mother, who while wishes the best for me, always pushes me in the direction of my next adventure and that is something I think all children need.

I have very special plans for Smith later on, so I'm glad he's growing on you as my main bad guy! :D

Again, thank you so much Dan, this means so much to me and I am so sorry for taking this long!

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Review #9, by CambAngst 2. Lunch Breaks and Catching Up

15th October 2013:
Hi, Ral! Obviously I read this a while ago and I'm rather ashamed that I'm only now getting to review it. I simply must organize my life better.

I kind of liked the tougher edge you gave to Kingsley in this story. Far too many stories portray him as a Minister who was completely beholden to Harry and the others who found on the "light side" of the war. It makes for fun reading, but I don't think that would have made Kingsley a very successful or popular Minister. His determination to do whatever was required to bring an Auror killer to justice also fit very well with his history in the department. The back-and-forth between Kingsley and Harry was well written, and Harry's responses were very natural. It's completely understandable that Harry would have objected to that in the strongest possible terms.

Ah, I see my dear Lily is already helping George to grow the family empire! I must say I'm pleased and a tad bit flattered. :)

I love the idea of the Order members from Harry's generation coming together to deal with the crisis presented by the Peverell Society. And it makes perfect sense to me that they'd be trying hard to keep the younger generation from getting too involved in such dangerous business. Of course, you already knew that made sense to me. :p You wrote it all well, though. The frustration that Albus and Rose are feeling about being relegated to administrative support roles felt very genuine, along with George giving Lily the brush-off when she asked to be involved. I feel like you're setting up a much larger involvement for that group in the future.

Then there's Rose's love life, or whatever passes for it. I loved the deconstruction that Albus and Lily inflict on her.

"Yeah, it's creepy. He has his own room at the Manor and he kept all of his ancestors' heads on the walls. The ones Dad wanted thrown out of Grimmauld. He sleeps on the old Black Family Tree," Lily joined in. -- Ahh, Kreacher! I have such a soft spot in my heart for that creepy, old elf. I'm glad to hear that he's doing well in your world!

Poor Rose! First, she's being so awkward about Scorpius. I loved the junior-high-school-ish conversation with Al. "Can you ask Scorpius if he likes me?" Poor girl is hopelessly awkward. And then it gets even worse when he walks up behind her. Yep, she probably wanted to die just then.

The moment with the key was killer! You are such a tease -- you KNEW what we were all thinking when you wrote "The small object was cold against her skin." I loved the effect, though. The two of them are so sweet together.

Great job! I'll get a review up for chapter 3 soon!

Author's Response: I can be completely honest after... two years and say no, it never occurred to me to have him propose but I love that it came across like that. *evil smirk*

I am setting up the new generation to have a more prominent role in the story (right after I get to my own role in actually writing it) so your comments are very much appreciated! Thank you so much Dan!

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Review #10, by MissesWeasley123 1. Beginnings

9th October 2013:
Ral Ral Ral Ral Ral...

THIS IS MY 200TH REVIEW(you should feel special, just saying, because my 100th review was on a stranger and painfully short also) AND YAY I FINALLY CAME HERE TO READ THE SEQUEL.

So, the beginning. Everybody say "AWH!" Seriously, so cute. I thought that with the opening two paragraphs, it was going to be from someone from the Society's POV, but then it was just silly Rose sneaking up on Scorpy.. SO ADORBABLE.

You didn't make this chapter a super fast paced one. It was nice and sweet and fluffy, which I loved, because knowing you, this won't stay normal for long. Things are going to get pretty intense. I enjoyed reading how their relationship's developed recently, and it was so sweet and cute.

You do Ron wonderfully as always :) He can be such a kid sometimes, and you show it so cleverly.

"My house, my rules, that one!" - This was perfect. And funny. WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT WRITING RON GURL??

Gimme ur talent.

Or teach me.

Scorpius doing paperwork makes me laugh so much. You made him out to be slightly serious in the other novel, and I can see him really being frustrated in the future. Rose's laid back personality might not help that, but I still sheep them so whatever.

And obviously, I must end this review with, BAA.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! It really made me laugh!

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Review #11, by soufflegirl99 1. Beginnings

16th August 2013:
Hello! Here for the review swap :)

The first chapter is absolutely wonderful! I loved it! The humour is so subtly done, which makes it even funnier! I loved Ron as the over protective Dad, and the way he could only listen to Hermione, I thought that was very Ron and very well characterised!

The bit between Scorpius and Rose was fantastic. I love the eerie tone that was set at the start, and the tension slowly rose until breaking point, in which we actually discover it was Rose! That bit was very cleverly done, and immense fun to read! I love the relationship between Rose and Scorpius, it seems very realistic, and their dialogue together is just hilarious to read! They seem like such different characters separately, and then when they're together they're very much in sync with this awesome banter going between them. It was really funny to read, and I really enjoyed seeing them click as a couple.

It was fantastic to see a flash back here, to just mix the story up a little bit, and I think all the things Ron said were so inventive, a little bit crazy, but they made me laugh a lot. The reactions of Hermione, Ginny and Harry were also very well described, and made it even funnier! I like how Ron doesn't approve of marrying pure blood; it's interesting, in comparison to the snooty Malfoys and Blacks who don't approve of anything NOT pure blood. Hermione's response was so intelligent, and I loved the reference to spoiling grandchildren! :)

Another funny touch, was the court, how Scorpius couldn't understand the muggle terms Hermione was introducing! I think Hermione would be the best person in court ever, because she can be so stern! Smith sounds absolutely horrible, and I'm scared for the safety of Harry, Ron and Hermione! Especially leaving a body for everyone to see, that's gruesome.

An allround excellent chapter, and I'll be going back to review the first story, The Mysterious Case of the Twin Wands! :)

-Sophie :D

Author's Response: Hello! I know I am ages late answering to this, so I'd like to start with an apology.

I'm really happy you liked the chapter and more so since you haven't read the first story. I wanted to throw in a little back story, so that a new reader doesn't feel left on the outside.

Ron is one of my favorite characters, because I relate to him so much. I really love writing him and I love seeing how his relationships with Hermione, Harry and Ginny changed and evolved. It also means a lot that you liked that scene, because writing any of the big canon characters is scary. We know so much about them that it makes it difficult to capture their spirit and bend them to our own little plots.

And yes, I think Hermione would make an excellent lawyer and I had a lot of fun playing with the legal notions there.

Thank you so much for the review! It means a lot! :)


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Review #12, by Jchrissy 1. Beginnings

2nd August 2013:
Yay! I'm finally getting to read the first chapter of your new baby!

I loved the start. Both the fact that it was a bit eerie, and how you brought us from the outside it. That's one of my absolutely favorite techniques, and it worked beautifully here.

I feel like we never left Scorpius and Rose now that they're back to their playful banter. Rose is a really awesome combination of sensitive and fiery, and it's fun seeing Scorpius want to the relationship to move a bit faster with her taking baby steps. Part of me thinks that it might be possible she's just dragging her feet to annoy him, haha!!

Molly was characterized so perfectly and sweet in this. I love how the family, apart from Ron, were happy to accept Scorpius. And Ron's just being a butt -- we know he'll come around. He has to decide not to like it simply because he *told* Rose ages ago not to get too friendly with him. I loved that you added that, btw.

The parallels between father and daughter, Rose not moving in with Scorp to be half stubborn and Ron not accepting the relationship simply because he'd decide it wasn't going to happen years ago, and is also being stubborn, seriously made me giggle. I loved it. Like father, like daughter ;).

I think this was the perfect way to start your story off! Even if I hadn't read book one, I don't think I'd be confused. But I feel like I'm more intimately involved in the characters for having read it, if that makes sense.

Awesome start, my lovely Ral!

Author's Response: Jami! You came to see my new baby. That right now is of epic proportions and grows every day! I swear I have subplots and plot twists flying at me from all angles!

I wanted the start to be all dark and twisty and then show that is was just Rose being silly. The relationship has grown in the months that have passed since Twin Wands (which was placed during November-December), but Rose is still not there and that is something they will deal with later on, as the story progresses.

Molly is a dear and I can't wait for the next time she makes an appearance. Writing them gathering around the old house at the Burrow gives me the warm and fuzzies!

And Ron, is indeed, as stubborn as he was when he was young. He believes in a certain order of things, and a Malfoy in his family tree isn't in that order. But maybe something will come along to make him change his mind! ;)

I'm so happy you feel connected to my characters. I feel that way about them too, and I have this whole journey planned out in my head and I am so excited about sharing it with you! Also, I can't wait for your next project to start! We'll be raising our babies together! :D

Thank you for the awesome review and support! I just wanna hug you so tight! ♥

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Review #13, by Arwin Fred 1. Beginnings

30th July 2013:
I really enjoy the story, so far.

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

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Review #14, by CambAngst 1. Beginnings

30th July 2013:
Ral! I have been eagerly waiting for your new baby to make its grand debut ever since you wrapped up Twin Wands and now it's finally here. I'm so excited for you! I hope you have another twisty, turning mystery in store for us.

I liked the way that you concealed Rose's identity until Scorpius bursts her bubble on her failed attempt to sneak up on him. It made for suspenseful start to the story, only to drop us into something warm and familiar. You included just enough back story from Twin Wands that I imagine that somebody could pick this story up without having read its predecessor and not be completely lost. At the same time, you didn't overload the chapter with setup. The balance was pretty good. The only thing I thought was a little weird about the opening was the way that you refer to Rose as "they" and "their" before you reveal her identity. For a moment there, I though there were either two people under the cloak or perhaps somebody was being possessed. I'm actually not sure whether there's anything you could have done differently without falling back on "she" and "her", which gives a bit away. It just struck me as a little odd.

Rose seems to be sitting on the fence a bit where their relationship is concerned. He obviously wants to move things along a bit faster. Molly agrees with him, I would say. But Rose appears to want to cling to just a bit of her childhood existence. Or maybe she's trying to keep Ron from going spare.

And go spare he did, it seems. At least until Hermione talked him back to his senses. I loved the dialog between Ron, Hermione, Harry and Ginny. Heck, I love the four of them together in general. You did a good job of capturing Ron in "one of his moods", and also in writing a very realistic way for the others to gradually calm him down.

"Or, we can be her parents and we can forbid her to see him! You know that talk you used to give the kids when they were in school and were acting up! My house, my rules, that one!" he argued and sat down next to her on the sofa, placing his glass on the table. -- Ah, Ron. I love how even his approach to parenting has just a bit of immaturity in it.

You did a great job of setting the backdrop for the trial of Zacharias Smith and his co-conspirators, and using that as a way to frame up the subtle games that Ron is playing with Scorpius and his career. I can already see a few sources of tension emerging in Rose and Scorpius's relationship. It feels like you're setting up some difficulties that the two of them will need to overcome later on. Someone will obviously have to smack Ron around a bit, too.

I spotted a single typo that you might want to take a second look at:

It opened with eased, yet when pushed open, it creaked, with a long and painful sound, meant to alert anybody inside that an unwanted visitor was approaching. -- opened with ease.

Otherwise, I thought your writing was great. A terrific start to what I'm guessing will be a lovely combination of a mystery and a love story.

Author's Response: Hey Dan!

Nothing is this story is what it seems and I wanted the beginning to reflect that to some extent. Since "Twin Wands" started off straight with a murder, I wanted to keep some of that dark, mysterious air around this introduction as well. The "they", "their" thing was a bit strange for me as well, but I remember my English tutor telling me years ago that we refer to objects as "it" and to people of unspecified gender as "they". I just figured it looked weird because in Romanian we don't have a generic word like "them" to refer to a person something.

I see Rose as being very stubborn and very independent. She is kind of like Ron in a way, not believing danger until she sees it with her own eyes. But the relationship is new, as you can imagine and will be detailed over time. And Molly loves him already, cause she is such a lovely woman. She "adopted" the boy she found on the King's Cross platform, after all.

Ron freaking out makes perfect sense to me, in a strange way. I believe that over the years he has matured enough to not just glare and stomp his feet when he is annoyed or upset (like he did in HBP when Ginny was dating), but to keep his bursts in check until such a time when he can have a rant. Like when he is with his best friends/family. And for humor's sake, I really don't think that dating any boss' daughter earns anybody a pay raise.

I want to try and pace myself, like you've advised me so many times, and make the transition between important plot points gently and slowly. Right now I have so many ideas I feel like I could write the longest one-shot HPFF has ever seen, but I won't do that! :)

Thank you for the long and lovely review! It really made my day!

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Review #15, by ValWitch21 1. Beginnings

30th July 2013:
Hi Ral!

I am beyond excited to see you take on a longer project again, especially one that includes Rose and Scorpius. The best part is knowing that they're already together, and therefore I can shush my shipping feels grumbling about unresolved sexual tension.

Did that sentence even make sense? Probably not, it's nearing midnight and my appointed 'Val stop babbling' time.

ANYWAY. Ron makes me shake my head disapprovingly in this chapter. In a sense, I like that his animosity towards Scorpius is less obvious than in some other stories (well, Ron thinks he's subtle anyway), but I'm a bit sad to see him so firmly opposed to him. I suppose he'll come around at some point, I just wish he wasn't so stubborn.

Rose creeping up on Scorpius at the beginning of this chapter was adorable. ♥ You are going to hear me ramble about these two quite a bit, so I hope you're prepared!

Adding this to my favourites now, so expect me fangirling about. And, again, good luck on those exams of your! ♥

Author's Response: You are my first reviewer! I am so excited!

Part of taking on this project was writing about the relationship that is developing between those two! But rest assured, it's not going to be THAT simple! :P

I actually wanted Ron to freak out. Not because he doesn't like Scorpius Malfoy as a person, but because the concept of Malfoy and his daughter is strange and sudden for him. Being stubborn is one of Ron's best qualities after all. And he does have the emotional range of a teaspoon, so Rose can't really make the "Daddy, I love him" argument in front of him.

Thank you for the lovely review and for being excited with me for this! ♥

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