Reading Reviews for Healed and Broken
  
78 Reviews Found

Review #1, by xoxo Oh Merlin.

9th September 2014:
curious, if there are only 4 chapters left, why is it only now that it's come out allie is pregnant? Also if she is only 2 months, that's only 8 weeks. You don't find out a baby's gender until 18/20 weeks but mainly 20 as that's when you have a scan.

It's original I'll give you that, but eye colour and hair colour aren't even established properly that early in a pregnancy. Plus most babies are born with blue eyes which later change, same with hair. I've known some who have been born with dark hair but have later gone blonde. Just a few tips/ideas to make it more real.

I kind of worked it out but Allie is six weeks on 27th October, so she'd only be six weeks and four days pregnant when she finds out. And she would be due, June 21st 2024 instead of June 15th. It's better to work it out from the start date in weeks, rather than just add 9 months onto it. Much more realistic and true! E.g I counted from September 15th, so she would be 1 week pregnant on 22nd, then 2 weeks on the 29th etc...

is the last one like an epilogue or something?

Expected delivery: June 15, 20124 - I noticed a slip up lol. Somehow I don't she's going to be pregnant for that long XD

Hope I'm not being harsh but since teen pregnancy is such a common cliche thing in fics, it's important to make it believable.

xoxo

Author's Response: The story won't finish with Allie's delivery, I can tell you that. There's this plot in my mind which you'll find out soon. And not at all, you are not being harsh. I love to read your reviews as it makes me question my works. Thank you for those tips! And about the hair color... It's a magical world, anything can happen! I'll be sure to edit that asap! Thanks again! :)

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Review #2, by The_Crookshanks_Saga Halloween

12th August 2014:
ReViEw SwAp

I SAW IT COMING, ALLOW ME TO SAY, I SAW IT COMING.

Which, I suppose was the point of this whole chapter, but when you have no foresight at all-- just let me enjoy this little victory, yeah?

This story, though simply written (which, with all the flowery nonsense people write *insert hypocrisy here* is a good thing), is compelling to read.Usually I don't like review swaps (except for the payoff ;) but this one I was inclined to read. I'll probably go back and read the other twenty-four chapters.

The one thing that could be improved is your pacing. I feel like it's awkward at worst and mostly going through her life step-by-step: something very few people can pull off in an internal monologue. And while your pulling it along for now, eventually it will stop working.

But overall, great job!

-Meena

Author's Response: Hey there!
Yup, I am going to let you enjoy it!
I am smiling the whole time I was reading your review, it felt nice to know you want to read my other chapters too!
And yeah, I really need practice on the pacing. Sometimes I feel like I'm going too fast, and other times it's like I am going as slow as a snail and dwelling too deep inside her life. I would really work on that from now on!

Thank you for that lovely review swap Meena! I enjoyed reading your story and review!


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Review #3, by xoxo Torture

4th August 2014:
just curious how come from here on has chapters images but the ones before dont.

and i thought i'd point out that you put TOTOURE instead of torture, next to where you wrote chapter 7 before the chapter image.

Author's Response: I am just putting them in some order I like, because from this chapter they grow up. And thanks for pointing out that mistake, I will edit that soon!

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Review #4, by Hannah Cure

10th July 2014:
That canNOT be the entire chapter. It's too short!

Author's Response: Sorry... i was in a big hurry, and i had to post that day or i couldn't for the rest of the week, so i finished it soon. Really sorry!

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Review #5, by xoxo Discussing matters

6th July 2014:
just curious if allie is a malfoy how is she scorpius' cousin?

draco was an only child therefore there is no aunts or uncles on the malfoy side.

astoria only had one sister called Daphne. And there isn't a possibility that she could have married a malfoy too.

i'm a tad confused. can you help clear this up. oh and if allie is the pregnant one you may want to add in signs o r symptoms of pregnancy rather than have it come out of the blue.

xoxo

Author's Response: Oh.. it is an AU i guess. Allie's mom is the daughter of a maid Lucius had an affair with. And the Alexander mentioned is the son of Daphne, who is divorced now. I was thinking that Allie got pregnant in September, not October, so the signs have started coming, starting from the eating tendency. The next chapters to come will clear it up i hope. I hope this cleared up YOUR confusion. Thank you for reviewing and keep on reading please!:)

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Review #6, by rose12311 Meet

3rd July 2014:
I actually like this chapter a lot! Enjoyed reading Ella being dumped! And Scorpius is definitely falling hard for Rose!

Author's Response: Haha, thanks! But remember, she'll be back!! Yup, yup, he is.

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Review #7, by Midnight Blue Discussing matters

2nd July 2014:
When will Rose and Scorpius come together? I mean they are so lovely together... The suspense is held so strongly... I keep sitting on edge and can't wait to know he things end up for Rose n Scorpius...

Author's Response: i wont tell u exactly when, but i can say, pretty soon!

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Review #8, by potterlover222 Discussing matters

1st July 2014:
love this chapter! Keep writing!!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot!

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Review #9, by rose12311 Discussing matters

1st July 2014:
Again, a superb chapter! Absolutely love it hon.

Author's Response: Aw, your reviews make me smile every single time!

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Review #10, by Court Discussing matters

30th June 2014:
I liked more of Rose POV. And I'm glad you are taking things slow between her and Scorpius as they should probably learn to be civil before anything develops further. Can;t wait to see how things prgoress and I hope they find a cure for her!

Author's Response: why, thank u so much! :) im glad u like it! and yes, im sure she will be cured soon.

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Review #11, by Lara Discussing matters

30th June 2014:
Dearest Author of this AMAZING story
I would love to inform you that your story might be my addition, and i am a total supporter of scorpius/rose relation , and I just love it, that is it a bit complex between them, that there are emotions flowing reaching to each other, utter silence between them. Great Job. And P.S: It is a bit unique that Rose suffers from blood cancer, and I just love all your characters.

Author's Response: Dearest reviewer,
I would love to inform you that I'm jumping up and down after reading your review!;)! Thank you so much! This means a lot to me, I'm about to cry, thank you so much!!! :D


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Review #12, by Midnight Blue ( thuhtha) Discussing matters

30th June 2014:
Lovely chapter :-)
PS:missing u a lot.. Regards from thuhthibe...

Author's Response: Thanks a lot! :)
PS: Missing u a lot too... love to thuthibe, glad to see he took my advice and is still around! ;)


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Review #13, by Midnight Blue ( thuhtha) I need help... I need Dom...

30th June 2014:
I totally like it... I felt all emotional when rose realised that Scorpius actually cared abt him n I had to admit this BT it brought tears to my eyes...

Author's Response: Thank u!! Hey, i got emotional writing...

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Review #14, by Midnight Blue ( thuhtha) My gift

30th June 2014:
Oh really!! I Neva knew u travelled to those places! BTW, it is an awesome chapter n rose n Scorpius will surely do a lovely couple.. I can't wait to know wat present Scorpius gives rose...

Author's Response: You know, fake identity, fake information!:P Thank you, and i think you are a BIT biased... cuz, you know, u are cuz... :P

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Review #15, by Midnight Blue ( thuhtha) Healed and Found on a wedding

30th June 2014:
Oh sweety it's such a lovely starting..

Author's Response: Nearly wet myself when i saw that it was u! Hw r u? Thanks for the review, n im thinking of heavy editing! :) :)

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Review #16, by rose12311 Time

24th June 2014:
Rose can't die!! There must be some cure! Anything! Love the last scene with Al and Allie! So Allie will be our pregnant lady, am i right? A Al/OC pregnancy... i've only read one story so far like that, and it's quite diferent form this. It's called the unexpected pregnancy, have you read it? it's really nice!

Author's Response: don't worry about Rose! Yes, this is an Al/OC pregnancy, and yes, i'm also reading that story, waiting for the last updation now, I simply love reading about Bentley and Aubri!

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Review #17, by rose12311 Truth

24th June 2014:
Alice and Rose are really protective of Allie! I'm glad Rosalie finally admitted she loved Al! Yup... the true story is going to start now!!

Author's Response: My favorite chapter, i should say!

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Review #18, by rose12311 Hogsmeade

24th June 2014:
Yes the longest chapter!!! Right, Lara is his 'glue'! Al have to accept defeat, he can't get over Allie so easily!

Author's Response: Yes the longest!!!Who knows, Al might be thinking of doing just that!

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Review #19, by rose12311 Shock

24th June 2014:
How could Scorpius do this? I thought they loved each other!! Nice scene with McGonagall, Rose is too honest for her own good!

Author's Response: Poor Scorp is just confused... i'm hoping he comes around fast!

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Review #20, by rose12311 Letter

24th June 2014:
I LOVE THIS STORY! you've improved a lot over the time, and i'm proud of you! Richard Phelps is the most disgusting and vile person I've heard of, and really wish Allie won't meet him! He can't be called as her father! BTW, love the ending with the little Scorose action and Albie action!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you!! Reading your reviews is so nice!!

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Review #21, by rose12311 Tapestry

24th June 2014:
Ooh... little Scorpy is jealous of Xander... Can i feel Rose falling for him?? You can make something like that, you know, like Rose dating Xander, just the final straw for Scorp to admit he loves her!

Author's Response: Yeah, he is! That may be the direction this story is going on.

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Review #22, by rose12311 Secrets

24th June 2014:
Such a great friendship is being represented here! I'm glad Allie came clean about her past and her feelings to Rose, now it's just time for her tell them to Al!

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #23, by rose12311 Mistake

24th June 2014:
Oh... awkward... i was kinda wishing they'll be together now... but Allie knows that she loves Al even though she won't admit it!!

Author's Response: Yup, awkward... but what sort of a story will it be if they get together so soon?

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Review #24, by rose12311 Awake

24th June 2014:
i love the starting with Scorpius! So Xander is the core of all the problems, eh? Keep on writing!!

Author's Response: Haha! Xander is not so innocent as he seems...

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Review #25, by rose12311 Discover

23rd June 2014:
Such a long chapter! It's great! So much happened!! Keep on writing, and don't stop! Great story, it's going to reach the top!!!

Author's Response: Longest chapter you have read, right? Go on reading, longer chappys are coming! Thank you for reviewing, i can see that you've warmed up to me! :)

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