Reading Reviews for against the dying of the light
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by prettywishes rage, rage

31st December 2013:
This was beautiful, but absolutely heartbreaking at the same time. Watching them change from hopeful, fighting against death, to accepting the fact that they are going to die and being glad that at least have each other. I love how you showed how the little things changed, like the people out on the street and the windows going from open to close, because those images really helped everything to sink in. I love love love your voice in this, you really have a great writing style!

Author's Response: yay, i'm so glad you thought all the little things that changed as the war grew closer helped you imagine it! eee thank you so much, the style of this was something i was a bit unsure of, so i'm glad you like it! thank you for this lovely review! ♥

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Review #2, by academica rage, rage

31st August 2013:
Hi there, here with your requested review!

First off, I love the poem that inspired the title of the story and chapter. It immediately drew me in :)

I like the theme you selected of James and Lily fighting with hope against the gathering darkness and then slowly sinking into acceptance and trying to enjoy the moments they have left together. It has a very apocalyptic feel to it in the way that they're sure their end is coming very soon.

I really loved your characterization of James. He's not one of my favorite characters, but I think you did a nice job of humanizing him and making him pitiable with a good combination of his humor (when talking about naming Harry) and his love and concern for his wife. I liked how he focused on the hope of a future and maintained that sense of optimism as long as he could despite knowing the fate that likely awaits him and his family.

I liked your Lily, too, and the change you portrayed between her pregnancy and the time afterward when she really began to accept her probable fate. I felt like the emotions came through very strongly and believably for them both in that apocalyptic sense, and it shadowed the piece with a darkness that was nicely offset by the theme of true love.

The one thing that seemed a little bit off with this piece was the experimental style, and only at times. Some of the parenthetical phrases seemed a little too forced or unnecessary--for example, I think the comment about Peter's long sleeves would have been more effective if you'd just subtly alluded to the uncomfortably warm weather. I had trouble trying to follow some of the metaphors, too, like the bit about the taste of plaster and Lily not remembering it being painted for the baby. You might want to consider having someone else read this and see if they can understand all of the experimental embellishments; I know from experience that it's easy to write something that you understand and have its best nuances totally lost on an outside reader. It's a sad thing indeed!

I noticed one part that didn't quite make sense--in the second section, James mentions having "read the rest of our story," and then a few sentences later he says that Lily has written the last sentence and he hasn't read that far yet. It was just a little confusing and you may need to clarify it a bit more.

Overall, though, you did a very nice job with this. I really like wartime Lily/James pieces that aren't shy about being bleak or showing distress. I thought the story flowed nicely and you got across the themes very well, which resulted in the emotion feeling quite tangible for me.

Hope this review is helpful :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! I'm glad that the characterizations of James and Lily came through, as that was what I was sort of trying to focus on while writing this, and I tried to make them seem as realistic as possible. I definitely agree with all your criticisms – a lot of this one-shot could be pretty confusing, especially since it was meant to be more of an experiment for me, so I'll try to keep everything you said in mind if I go back to edit! I'm also glad that the emotion felt tangible for you, as that was another thing I was worried about. Once again, thank you so much for this very helpful review! :)

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Review #3, by RavenclawWayToBe rage, rage

22nd August 2013:
Okay so I cried and this made me very emotional. I loved it so much because you captured the war perfectly. James and Lily were so in love but they had to grow up so fast and I think you got that so well. You totally put the sad truth into words and I could almost feel the emotions. By the end they weren't just 21 year old kids in love, they were parents who were fighting to stay alive. Everything about this story is perfect. There's no other way to describe it. I love how you talked about the window and the street music because to me that almost seems like it's their freedom and slowly it starts slipping away but they still cling to hope in each other and in Harry and I will honestly never get over this story, it broke my heart and shattered it into millions of pieces but I love it because it's true and it's real. This is great writing, and I love it!

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Review #4, by nott theodore rage, rage

20th August 2013:
Hi, here for review tag!

Wow, this was a lovely one-shot! I've wanted to come and read something of yours for a while because I've heard brilliant things about your writing, and I wasn't disappointed. I'm jealous of the fact that you managed to write something like this at 3am!

I'm amazed that you managed to capture the whole of James and Lily's lifetimes in a little over two thousand words, and that you wrote it so beautifully as well. The poem that you used for both the title and at the beginning of this chapter fitted in so well with the story and is a really great addition.

There are so many elements of this story that I liked! The use of second person in the narrative is pretty unusual, and I can't remember having read any James and Lily stories that use it. With James narrating we got to delve deeper both into his character and his views of Lily, and it was really effective. I could see that James loved Lily deeply; it was in every word and action concerning her. His tone held a certain maturity which was nice to see. The pair did have to grow up extremely fast and it annoys me every time James is portrayed as an immature boy - Lily wouldn't have married someone like that, I don't think. But what I'm trying to say (in a roundabout way!) is that I really enjoyed your characterisation of James in this piece!

Your descriptions are truly beautiful. I love the imagery you used and it works brilliantly in pieces like this; whilst the story was told from James' perspective, the descriptions used seemed perfectly natural to come from him.

One of my favourite parts was:
"We're taking the war in one hand and we're taking our lives in the other, and we're holding them up to the afternoon light from the kitchen window and trying to catch the space between them, but its like trying to hold water in cupped palms. We're left with wet, cold, dripping hands, and we remember all the towels are in the washing, so oops, better luck next time. "

For me that paragraph was perfect. It really brought home the fear that they had to live through and the fact that they had no control over their lives whatsoever. There was so much despair in that, and it's heart-breaking to think that they knew their lives were coming to an end and they couldn't do anything about it.

I really appreciated your attention to detail in this story, despite it being short. The little mentions of Peter hurrying off at odd times for no apparent reason, as well as the names of their friends who had become victims of the war. The part when James and Lily were talking about attending Harry's wedding and seeing their grandchildren go to school was so sad!

This was such a beautiful and poignant one-shot, and I'll definitely be on the lookout for more of your writing!

Sian :)

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Review #5, by Lady of Tears rage, rage

20th August 2013:
Well gosh darnit, I'm going to have to start writing at 3am if this is what comes out.

How beautiful! I never have really read something that I thought did Lily/James justice. But this is stunning, beautiful, tear-jerking, splendid. I guess there's only one word for it: love! ;)

I really appreciated the maturity from James' character. I like seeing the person Lily fell in love with, not the toerag Potter.

There are so many details I want to point out, but I guess this rambling will have to do. I think you should write more from this pairing and in this style, because it is stunning! Thanks for sharing this on your status in the forums!

-Lady of Tears

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Review #6, by bellatrixlestrange123 rage, rage

20th August 2013:
Please don't think i'm over reacting when i say this is the best Lilly and James one shot/fic i have read in a long time. it was so beautifully put together and made my heart hurt from how tender it was. For me, it was very personal too. well done! seriously this was amazing :)

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Review #7, by atellam rage, rage

20th August 2013:
I wish I could write like this at three am. Honestly, I loved this. I had to read it once I saw it was Jily, but I absolutely love what you've done with the pairing here. I love that it's from James' perspective, I love the use of second person, and I love how you've focused on their life after the war. The poem is a lovely touch, and the title is very fitting. Wonderful job and I hope to read some more of your stuff!

Keep up the good work!
- A.

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