Reading Reviews for An Illusion of Sanity
46 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BBHP Of Nightmares and Bathtubs

16th August 2017:
I'm dying to find out what happened to Perri, and when exactly it happened. This story has me on edge, even though it seems light and funny. Can't wait to read more.

Author's Response: Hi! Eek, thank you for the review! I am so, so glad you're intrigued. You'll definitely find out more about Perri and her background...I just can't tell you when! I'm just getting myself organized but there will be a new chapter soon! Thank you for reading :)

xx Rachel

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Review #2, by free elf 25 Of Nightmares and Bathtubs

16th January 2016:
I do love this story and where it's hinting at going. Hoping for an update soon :)

Author's Response: Hopefully will be updated soon! I am returning after a very long hiatus. Thank you for your lovely review!!!

xx Rachel

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Review #3, by HeyMrsPotter The Revival of Chivalry

28th July 2015:
Hi, Rachel!

This is way late, but I'm trying to catch up with the birthday reviews that I missed. So, a very belated happy birthday to you! I hope you had a wonderful day :)

I think this is a really great first chapter! I really liked the two OCs you've introduced, particularly your main character. I also like the personalities you've given to the members of the Potter/Weasley clan we've met so far. The first day of a new school reay is always a good start to a story, it gives the reader a good grasp of where we are time-wise and the houses your next gen characters are in. I also really liked Perri's first impressions of Hogwarts, especially her amazement with the ceiling and the feast :D

What I liked most was the little hints at other things that have gone on in Perri's life, like how she can see Thestrals. And that flashback right at the start, such a great way to throw your readers in and grab their interest!

Great job!

Dee :)

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Review #4, by AlexFan The One Where Jelly is Jam

2nd July 2015:
AGAIN HAPPY BIRTHDAY! This chapter was so great. I totally understand where Perri is coming from about the time zones. you're up until five in the morning because your body hasn't caught up with the fact that you're in a different country.

I have to say though, that was some ace flirting by Perri, I almost choked on my Coca Cola. I was fully expecting the old cliche, stuck in a broom cupboard to get away from authority to happen so I was quite surprised when Perri and Fred just booked it all the way back to the common room. It's too early for that sort of tension.

Perri learning British slang is something I can relate to, especially when I first started reading Harry Potter, I was like "what are trainers?" although to be honest with you, I've never met anyone who calls jam jelly.

I love how honest everyone is with each other, you can tell that they're going to have a good friendship because Perri is honest about her situation and everyone else doesn't push her to talk about something that makes her uncomfortable, that's when you know you've made friends with good people. I look forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: AH! Thank you again(: Haha thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it (not that you almost choked though!). I'm always trying to figure out British slang, so I figured it would be a relatable quality. I call jam jelly! I wonder if it's just called that around where I live...hmm I never thought about it! Thank you SO much for your two lovely reviews. I am ever so thankful!

xx Rachel

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Review #5, by AlexFan The Revival of Chivalry

2nd July 2015:
Happy Birthday! This is my first time leaving a birthday review and I hope that you have a splendid day!

I like how you started off the story with that scene, it gave the story a mystery feel and now I'm actually very much looking forward to seeing what that dream was all about. I can already tell that it's got an interesting story about it.

I like the main character, you've written her very realistically and I love how easily she got along with everyone. The banter between everyone flowed really well and I couldn't help but smile while I was reading. I especially liked your characterization of Roxanne, she's my favourite person at the moment. She seems like a really easy-going person but I have no doubt that when you need her to be serious, she's there for you.

The only thing that I would suggest though is that, when the Sorting Hat is talking to Perri, it got a little confusing trying to figure out if it was the hat talking to Perri or whether it was what Perri was thinking about the hat, maybe if you italicized the speech of the hat it would help readers differentiate between the two. But other than that, I think you've got a really great story here and I'll try and leave reviews on the other chapters later on as well!

Author's Response: HI! I am SO sorry it took me so long to get back to you! Thank you so much for the birthday wishes! It just made me smile so wide! I'm glad the first chapter piqued your interest! Ah! I'm so glad you like the characters! That's always one of my biggest fears (writing boring characters). I will definitely go sort out the Sorting Hat section! Thank you for the feedback! Thank you so much for the lovely review and feedback!

xx Rachel

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Review #6, by Felpata Lupin The Revival of Chivalry

2nd July 2015:

Wow! What a start!!! I'm already in love with this story!!!

This left me with so many questions... Who is Perri? Why did she move from America to stay with the Potters? What happened to her? Who did she see dying? Her family, perhaps? And what was going on in the first scene? I thought about the Cruciatus Curse, or possibly a werewolf attack... Well, I'll find out if I keep reading, I suppose... Which I'll do! Might take a while, but I'll be back, promise!

I liked a lot your descriptions. The first scene in particular was so evocative and just gave the perfect feel of anguish.
I also enjoyed your introduction of the Wotters clan. They are just like I imagine them. :)

So, as I already said, I'm very curious to know where this is going... I'll see you on the following chapters!

Happy birthday again!
With love,

Author's Response: HI THANK YOU SO MUCH! This just made my day, so thank you(: I am SO glad that you enjoyed reading! Oo I'm very glad you have questions! They will definitely be answered in later chapters so stay tuned! Do come back again! I'd love to hear from you. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a lovely review and such a heart warming birthday message!

xx Rachel

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Review #7, by Alicelost A Delicate Darkness

26th June 2015:
please start writing again this story is really great

Author's Response: Hi! I will start again I promise! I have no excuses other than I haven't made the time to sit down and write! I'll be updating soon(:

xx Rachel

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Review #8, by CambAngst The One Where Jelly is Jam

5th June 2015:
Hi, Rachel! Tagging you from Review Tag!

I started to read chapter 1 and it seemed really, really familiar to me. Then I got to the bottom and realized that I had reviewed it already! I don't know where my brain is lately. At any rate, it was a good refresher and now I'm back for chapter 2.

You brought your characters along nicely in this chapter. I know more about them now, but there are still plenty of mysteries left. I'm curious about the "incident" that led to Perri leaving the States and coming to Hogwarts, but that's a pretty obvious one. I'm equally curious about why she seems to know the Potters and Weasleys so well. Or at a minimum, why they know her so well. What's the connection here?

You did a good job of making Perri's late-night (early morning?) encounter with Freddy seem natural. I'm still sort of curious as to why he was out and about at that hour, but Perri's reasons were easy to understand. I like her as a character. She's quite typically American in the context of a school full of Brits. She's much more forward and free-speaking. She doesn't mind confrontation at all. She says some things simply for shock value. It all fits well with the characterization.

Your elves were adorable. Poor little things, working all hours of the day and night.

I felt a couple of moments with romantic potential between the two of them, but there's obviously plenty of time left for that.

Wow, Roxy is pretty protective of her brother. Or perhaps just jealous of him. Either way, she's quite chilly toward Perri in the morning. So much so, actually, that I was a little surprised that she let it drop just based on Freddy's say-so.

Your closing line was excellent. A great way to put it.

I noticed one typo as I was reading:

His finger lightly tickled the pair on the portrait. -- pear

Otherwise, lovely writing! I enjoyed the chapter thoroughly.

Author's Response: Hi there! I am so sorry for the late response! Thank you so much for taking the time to review for me. I will definitely go back and fix those couple grammar issues, and I'll tie up a few of the loose ends. I hadn't really realized how quickly Roxy let it drop. It might be more natural if I let it go on a bit longer! So thank you so much for pointing that out to me! Thank you again for reviewing for me!

xx Rachel

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Review #9, by the_jasmine_apple A Delicate Darkness

30th May 2015:


xx Rachel

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Review #10, by Gabriella Hunter The Detrimental Effects of Gravity

29th May 2015:

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap and it's nice to meet you and junk. Thank you for the lovely review for "At Midnight", that story doesn't get any reviews so it really made my day.

Anyway, you wanted me to read the third chapter instead of the first two and I usually don't do that but here I am! If you want me to read the first two, you can stuff a request in my review thread and I'd be happy to get those reviewed for you too.

Okay, from what I was able to gather from this chapter, Perri is having difficulties adjusting to Hogwarts. I'm not really sure but there were a lot of references to things that weren't done in America, versus how they are at Hogwarts. I thought that was interesting and I'd love to know more information about what was going on to make her transfer, if that is the case. I'm also curious to know more about her relationship with Fred, it seems like there's a slight bit of flirtation going on but she's unsure what to do about it. Hm.

Now, since I haven't read the other two chapters, I'm not able to gauge who's friendly with whom but I think you wrote them well. No one seemed to be the same and while I was a tad lost, Perri has a sharp sense of humor and absolutely no social graces. That's always refreshing and I'm curious to know what happened with that knife...I think she's got a lot of mystery going on.

Anyway, CC wise there were a few grammar things that you should clean up. Add a few commas here and there so your sentences won't seem so drawn out and I think you meant "woman" instead of "women" in one paragraph. Other than that, I thought this chapter was good so thanks for swapping with me!

Much love,


Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you so much for the review! Sorry for the oddness of having you skip the first two chapters! I'm sorry if it was a little weird for you! I will definitely go back through to fix the grammatical issues that you pointed out! Thank you so, so much!

xx Rachel

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Review #11, by lilylunapotter26 A Delicate Darkness

29th May 2015:
Ooo her case? I'm very intrigued to see what's going to happen. I want to know what happened to her! Loved the bit with Eloise, she's comical.

Please update soon!


Author's Response: Eee! I'm glad you're liking it so far!! Eloise is a blast to write. Thank you for reviewing!

xx Rachel

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Review #12, by lilylunapotter26 Apocalyptic

29th May 2015:
I really like the character of Roan so far! It's also pretty cool that she's the new keeper. Keeper isn't usually a position of characters here, so it's interesting to see something new!

Nice job!


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Review #13, by lilylunapotter26 The Detrimental Effects of Gravity

29th May 2015:
I loved the section with Lily Potter. Also really liked how you added a little depth to this secret of Perri's. I'm glad we're starting to get a little more information on who she is.

Can't wait to read on!


Author's Response: Eek thank you! Perri is a lot of fun to write, and I think her background is very intriguing too! SO excited for everyone to find out about it.

xx Rachel

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Review #14, by lilylunapotter26 The One Where Jelly is Jam

29th May 2015:
Freddy Weasley has quickly become my favorite, I think. Wow, I loved him in the beginning of the chapter. The end scene with Roxy was quite funny too!

Nicely written!


Author's Response: Thank you so much (again) for the kindness! I'm happy you're liking the story and Freddy.


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Review #15, by lilylunapotter26 The Revival of Chivalry

29th May 2015:
I really like the characters so far! I'm thinking maybe you can spice up the first chapter a little bit tho...just a suggestion! I really like the idea so far. An American transfer with a secret; I like the way that sounds! As of now Finn and Perri are definitely my favorites!

Great so far, can't wait to read on!


Author's Response: Thank you so much for the feedback! I will definitely try to spice up the first chapter a little bit!

xx Rachel

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Review #16, by alicia and anne The Revival of Chivalry

28th May 2015:
Hello! I'm here for our review swap :D

This is quite an opener! What a way to bring us into the chapter by having someone in that much pain. You described it so well that I could almost feel it myself! I want them to get help! I want them to get help! But I also want to know what happened and why this is happening?

I am loving the introduction to Perri, and how she met Roxanne, James and the others. Wow, Perri is going to stay at theirs for the next two years? This is going to be fun!

Awww her meeting Harry was just so adorable! I would be so nervous as well, so I totally understand.

I really want a Perri and Finn romance, but I want a Perri/James romance and a Roxanne/Finn romance! I want it all!!!

I agree with Roxanne! I'm glad we get to keep Perri, she's awesome already and I love her so much! I can tell that she's going to be an amazing character! Although it's sad that he can see the thestrals.

This chapter is utterly amazing! I couldn't stop reading it and you have done a great job at introducing everyone! Such superb writing!

I am so excited to read more!


Author's Response: Hi! I'm so glad you like it! I'm really glad the first part intrigued you so much! That's a huge part of the story, but it's going to take a little while to unravel! Ah isn't Finn adorable? I absolutely love him; he's such a fun character to write. As is James, he keeps things interesting!

Thank you so much for the lovely review!

xx Rachel

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Review #17, by The Summer Snake The Revival of Chivalry

27th May 2015:
Greetings from The Summer Snake! I have recently slithered out of hibernation and discovered this amazing place with such amazing stories, so I want to read and review as many as I can before I go back into hibernation!

This was lovely! I really enjoyed reading this - the first time experience of Hogwarts from a non-first year. So far, your OC Perri seems very likeable and I liked reading things from her perspective. Her flirtation with James is also amusing and I am enjoying it.

Your descriptions were very good and I enjoyed your dialogue. The entire narrative had an upbeat feeling about it which was great. All in all, great job! I don't have anything else to say really - this was a great first chapter and looks like a cool story!

*showers confetti and flowers* Have a nice summer!

Now I'll be off to explore more of this wonderful sun! See ya!

With love,
The Summer Snake

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you for such a sweet review! It made my day, so thank you! I'm really glad you like Perri and the foundation of the story. I do hope you stop by again soon! I love to hear feedback. I hope you have a wonderful summer!!

xx Rachel

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Review #18, by dracodarlingxx A Delicate Darkness

18th January 2015:
I'm so glad you updated! I really do love this story: it's so funny but it's also got a serious plot and I love the description.
I don't know what to say about this chapter . . . . there's just so much in it that I love, from a girl sleeping under her desk in History of Magic, to adorable Nifflers, to Elodie Merde and no words needed, to pretty but deceiving fairies.
Is Perri a werewolf? Is that the 'Incident' she's talking about?
I can't wait for the next chapter!!

Author's Response: Hello, hello! I'm so glad that you enjoy reading this story! I love writing it! You never know! I guess you'll have to wait and see :P Thank you for the lovely review!

xx Rachel

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Review #19, by marauderfan The One Where Jelly is Jam

23rd July 2014:
Hello there! I'm here with your requested review - it seems I did the first chapter for a swap (like a year ago) so I'm reviewing this chapter now.

So. Since Perri's past is still a mystery at this point, I'm over analyzing everything she says about time and the weather. Here's what I've come up with: She's from the Southeastern USA, based on the five hour time difference, and the fact that Scotland in September seems cold to her. Am I close? :P

No idea what made her transfer though - you've let a little more of the mystery through but withheld enough information to keep people coming back for more! So the pacing of the information is really good.

As for the characters - they all seem a pretty happy-go-lucky bunch. Fred and Roxanne were pretty amusing, particularly the day after Fred and Perri's late night escapade to the kitchen. But the character I'm most intrigued by is Perri herself. She has good social skills, is cheerful and seems to integrate so well with the Weasleys, but she has this mysterious dark past - which so far hasn't shown up much in her character and I'm wondering if it affects her but she hides it, or if she has forgotten, or if she went insane and there's something wrong with her (after all, the story title and the hint that she transferred schools due to some sanity related 'incident'.) So yeah, I'm curious.

As for story flow - it's good, and well paced so far. I'm not sure where it's headed yet as this seems to be primarily the exposition still, but it's not boring by any means. I like it.

Some little picky details you might want to fix with a quick edit:
At one point she says it's 10pm at home while it's 3am in Scotland, but then in the next paragraph she says she's "sitting around like it's lunch time" - unless she eats lunch at 10pm maybe this should say dinner time at the earliest.

And here: “Careful,” I jumped, stumbling forwards and catching myself on the stone wall. “I think the stairs are much more efficient means of descent.” -- It sounds like she is the one saying this (to herself). Maybe add something in there like '"Careful," said a voice, and I jumped.'

Anyway, those are both small things. Overall it was a lovely chapter, and I think you're doing great work on this! :)

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much for your lovely review! As for where Perri's from, you are right! She's from somewhere that has more mild falls than Scotland (I still haven't picked a definitive state...oops). I'm very glad you like Fred and Roxy and especially Perri! Yes, she is rather dark and mysterious. Her past will come through, and you'll see how it's affecting her!

I went right over to the story and fixed those details right away! Thank you so much for the review!

xx Rachel

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Review #20, by TidalDragon Apocalyptic

21st July 2014:
Hello once more!

The biggest thing that jumped out to me immediately here was the violation of canon (yes, I'm that guy) that was the boys getting into Perri's dorm room. It's pretty well established that at Hogwarts, the boys can't get up the girls' staircase, so I'd think of how to tweak this scene to avoid that problem.

The other thing that stood out is that things seem to be going awfully swimmingly for Perri. It's something of a trope that you want to be careful of, having an American transfer student come to Hogwarts and take the school by storm, making instant friends and getting on the Quidditch team and such. I think from the way the story started that things are clearly going to get darker for Perri at some point, but I'd just be very careful with these decisions going forward. It's not that they're categorically negative ones, just ones that will automatically cost you some readers.

I do like that you're giving Perri a distinctive personality though. She certainly seems to have the sense of humor and brash spirit that would fit with the friends she's made. Explaining her excellent reaction-time (i.e. why she's such a good Keeper) would probably be helpful too (but maybe that's coming).

Hopefully my reviews have been helpful. Feel free to PM if you have any questions!

Author's Response: Hi thank you for all of your help! Ah, yes the dorm issue. I only added that because in so many stories I've read that boys can enter using their broomsticks (flying above the actual stairs). I know it's not like that in the real books, but I thought it added a little interest to the story. Not everything is going to go well for her. She's got a lot ahead of her!

Thank you so much!

xx Rachel

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Review #21, by TidalDragon The Detrimental Effects of Gravity

21st July 2014:
Hello hello hello.

So I'm gathering that something a bit strange happened with the knife (I suppose we'll see). I thought the interactions between Perri and Collette as well as Perri and Lily (II) were particularly realistic though and so that stood out as strongly positive.

That said, I'd be careful with two things: (1) profanity and (2) consistency. With the first point, you'll recall from canon that very little profanity is used throughout the series. You may also note that in prominent literary works, expletives are also used very sparingly. This is done for a reason - because profanity also jumps out at the reader and often detracts from the story by causing distraction - unless it's a truly high impact situation. As regards consistency, it just seemed a bit odd to me that Perri is going to be staying with Harry and Ginny, knows all these other canon characters, but doesn't know Lily (II), Harry and Ginny's daughter. Just be careful. To me it would make the most sense for her to know Harry and Ginny and their kids for sure, and perhaps figures like Ron, Hermione, Neville, etc. who played prominent roles in defeating Voldemort (they're historical figures). Since you've kind of staked out the path that she basically knows everyone though, I'd make sure she continues to know all the Potters and Weasleys.

Author's Response: Hello! Yes, you're right! Perri's secret is beginning to unravel itself to the readers, as well as her friends. I will work on the profanity and consistency. Profanity sometimes slips into my work without me really noticing. Perri's knows of Lily Potter, but this was the first time she had ever really met her! She definitely knows who she is!

Thank you!

xx Rachel

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Review #22, by TidalDragon The One Where Jelly is Jam

21st July 2014:
Hello again!

So we now get the explanation of why Perri is here (at least in part). I assumed you'd be developing it throughout, but it's nice to get a taste early so we know what we're working with.

As far as this chapter, perhaps it was mainly to introduce the Fred/Perri dynamic, but it didn't feel as strong substantively to me. Most of it was either dedicated to that dynamic or to highlighting cultural differences (something that, as I alluded to in my last review, I wouldn't make a huge habit of).

As far as Fred goes, the section where he appeared was a little perplexing to me. First, I wonder how Perri can identify all these people - first Fred himself and then how she knows Hermione's name and their relationship. Second, though the scene WORKS regardless of how you interpret it, I'm interested about what you intended with the interaction between Fred and Perri in the kitchens. At first it was all very light-hearted, but then seemed to turn quite predatory, only to be easily forgotten the next day. If the goal was not to give Fred a predatory vibe, I'd be careful with word choice and description in future interactions. If it was, then mission accomplished.

See you next chapter!

Author's Response: Hi! Yes, I'm slowly giving away little hints as to why she's here (a full explanation is to come). I did kind of use this chapter to introduce Freddy, and I wanted to get some sort of start on the relationship between the two because Fred's a main character! The cultural differences are definitely not something I'm going to keep pointing out. I felt like adding one would show that she's not completely acclimated to this new country! I will work to fix the kitchen scene!

Thank you so much!

xx Rachel

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Review #23, by TidalDragon The Revival of Chivalry

21st July 2014:
Howdy! Dropping by to fill your review request!

As far as the story goes generally, I think you have an interesting idea. You opened with a high degree of intrigue with the italicized scene and then the similar (or at least apparently similar) sensation Perri experienced on the platform.

With regard to the content, I just noticed a few specific things. First is the comfort level that Perri has with the other characters. Right now, she seems to have just folded in seamlessly with the Next Gen characters you want to highlight who have accepted her without a second thought or any awkwardness. This could be fine if it is explained, but so far all we have by way of explanation is that Perri will be staying with the Potters for the next two years. We don't know if she's an exchange student, if she was placed with them for some other reason, or really WHY she is here. Regardless, without some foundation for Roxy and James knowing her, it seems odd that there would be no awkwardness at all between she and the other students.

That said, I think you handled the cultural divide better than a lot of people. You didn't slip into the pitfall of either having Perri just know everything about the culture and make no mistakes, but you also didn't clobber us over the head with a litany of cultural differences that would've had our (and Perri's) heads spinning. So that was good to see.

I'm interested to see where things go from here. See you next chapter!

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for stopping by! I will definitely try and fix the relationship between Perri and the Potter/Weasley family! The reasoning behind why she is there will come out. At the moment I've held back and haven't revealed that information. It's coming though, don't worry. I need to develop Perri and the rest of the story a little bit more before I reveal that.

Thank you!

xx Rachel

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Review #24, by Veronica Apocalyptic

20th July 2014:
Great story and I absolutely love perri ! She is a great character with a brilliant sense of humor!

Author's Response: Hi, hi! I'm really glad you like Perri; she's so much fun to write! Her sense of humor just kind of comes naturally, so I'm really happy you enjoy it. Thank you so much for the lovely review!

xx Rachel

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Review #25, by MarieBlack Apocalyptic

19th July 2014:
I just stumbled upon this story in the recently added and I'm so sincerely glad I did! :) Usually I find myself disappointed in the American-with-comes-to-Hogwarts stories but you have delightfully whisked away my inhibitions of the topic!

I'm so sorry I waited four chapters to review but I hate stopping when I'm on a reading roll! I love Perri; she's spunky, a bit clumsy, but quick-witted. Her back-story is so delightfully intriguing honestly, I'm eager to see the reasons that brought her to good ole Hoggywarts, and see where it takes her.

Also, oh man, so many fit and attractive blokes, I'm eager to see where her affections will lie. Will it be Freddy, the smirking beater? Or Finn, though secretly I totally ship Finn and Roxy. Or even Roan the mysterious hunky captain. ;) I'm pulling for Freddy on this one though!

I'm eager to read more, happy writing on it all! You have made an avid reader out of me!

Author's Response: Hi there! I'm so glad you stumbled upon my story too! Ah, I did? I had never really read any stories about Americans, so I was like, hey, why not? Aw you don't have to apologize! I do the same thing. I read through all the chapters before I post a review!

Eee, I'm so glad you like Perri! I love planning and writing her character. There's something so natural about her that makes her so easy to write. You will definitely learn soon about her reasoning for coming to Hogwarts :P Ah yes, I'm a huge sucker for fit and attractive blokes. Ooo Finn and Roxy, I had never really thought of that! As for Perri, you'll have to wait and see xD

Thank you so much for reading! Your lovely review absolutely made my day, so thank you, thank you!

xx Rachel

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