Reading Reviews for The Forging of Ways
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TidalDragon PART THREE

4th August 2014:
Hmm. Well I liked your ending if for no other reason than it actually seems (in light of the rest of the story) to be quite open to interpretation. One could take the dark view and say that Taddeus is going to falter - that he was too weak to stand up and won't overcome that weakness later. Or one could take a cue from his insistence that he would be a "good Slytherin" and hope that he lives up to it. He at least distanced himself from his family at the Slytherin table, so there's that. I feel bad for Milo though. He seems like he got a really raw deal.

As far as the chapter itself, I wasn't a huge fan of the wait during sorting. I definitely get why you did it and I thought the moments where he was weighing up his internal conflict were good. The whole "Feather twins" bit seemed rather drawn out for me though and I wasn't terribly keen on the "Hatstall!" yelling (especially more than once).

All in all though, I think you've done well with the piece. It was an interesting and enjoyable read. Feel free to PM me with any questions! I hope the reviews were helpful...

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Review #2, by TidalDragon PART TWO

4th August 2014:
Back again!

I thought this chapter built well on the first. You advanced rapidly to the action, but you made clear it was being done purposefully and you provided some detail about Taddeus's time with Genie that made it feel less like you were rushing.

As far as the question in your A/N, I was definitely glad that Taddeus went after Tristessa. She and Tarquin both seem incredibly twisted, but what's interesting about it for me is how they developed that way. It seems slightly odd that they would be so cruel while Timeus/"Milo" and Taddeus would be so different. Perhaps it's the closer exposure to the older cousins? This could merit some explanation if you ever expand the story.

The one thing I did not like about the attack in the salon was how the "dragon" folded in. Where previously you had avoided any sense that you were forcing a device into the story, this one was different. I think that's most likely because the transition in was not as smooth as it could have been. The description of all of it was very sound once we reached it, but getting there felt a bit like lurching forward and then getting jerked back before we dove in. Perhaps that's what you really wanted to happen, but to me it felt that if the rage was supposed to be as all-consuming as described then it would sort of just descend and there would be no lurching. Just my thought.

I also liked how you came back around to the way you began the first chapter at the end of this one though. That was a nice touch and you certainly portrayed the conflict in Taddeus well within the confrontation before he was beaten again.

I'm interested to see where we go from here.

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Review #3, by TidalDragon PART ONE

4th August 2014:
Hello again! First off, no need to apologize. I almost never get anything in my review thread that aligns with my preferences :p But I've gotten to read plenty of great stories I would never have otherwise read that way.

As for this piece, I'm definitely intrigued by the fact that you've moved beyond Next Gen. This is the first such piece that I've read and I think it is quite unique.

You also have a different style in this story than many authors here on HPFF, with the deeper vocabulary and more detailed adjectives in particular. I think you've done it in a way that's largely refreshing though as it reads naturally almost everywhere - you're not forcing it like many others that adopt that approach. I give you kudos on it because though I certainly have a big enough vocabularly, I just can't write that way.

The only part of the story that felt rather weighed down for me was the initial explanation of the "Who's the Liar" game. I thought it was an inventive concept - much nicer than just banking on Exploding Snap, Wizard Chess, or pick-up Quidditch (of which the rest of us are all so guilty), but I might've liked you to just let the game play out so we can understand for ourselves rather than deliver a flashback-informative recitation of the rules.

As far as the other portions (the creepy chase-intimidation bit at the beginning and the sorting news at the end) I thought you handled them well. You showed us about the major characters rather than simply telling us about them and made the "oddball sorting" of Timeus believable rather than having it come off completely like a convenient plot mechanism.

So far it's very well done! See you next chapter!

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Review #4, by Roisin PART ONE

2nd August 2014:
Hi! Roisin from the forums here with your requested review.

Man, oh, man. This story is CRAZY!

I actually read it first, but have been holding off on a review to give me time to think.

Thing is, it isn't crazy just because it's next-next gen--it's the writing itself. It's like reading through a kaleidoscope. I was honestly really surprised that this story has been up for so long with so few reviews, so I'll start with hypothesizing about that.

I feel like the greatest strengths of this story are also its weaknesses. We as readers are thrown into this very frenetic, very unfamiliar situation. The story drifts into dreams. We don't know who anyone is. A lot of that is actually pretty effective narrative devices, but at the same time, I think you need to give readers a little something more to orient them. It takes a long time to figure out how old Tad is (and eventually all I know is, UNDER 11), and a TON of T names get introduced very quickly. It can be really great to jostle readers with your opening, but that's also a pretty difficult line to walk.

That said, I wouldn't sacrifice the energy of this chapter--which I liked--by receding into explanation too much. But maybe more orienting details could be woven in? I would almost suggest doing a trade-off: less about being a Lestrange and what that means (let that unfold slower), more basic information about who the characters are via description (describing height/size disparities between Tad and his sister would help us understand age difference, for example). Also, I was a little confused, because at first I thought Tim was older than the others, because he seems to have some sway over them. Then he turned out to be younger. This isn't necessarily a mistake, if you were going for that, but then I'd like a little more detail about that relationship.

I only say this because I really liked your characters--well, I *say* "liked." I mean, they were interesting and well written (Tristessa was horrifying!) And the "who's the liar" game was really, really brilliant. There's a darkness to the title, it involves discomfort, but it also sounds kind of fun. Just a great, great idea.

Also, this: ‘Bleargharhar.’ GREAT sound!

As for the language--I'm of two minds about this. It seems like Tad is pretty young, and while third person, it's still focalized through him. YET, the language was really sophisticated. Now this could be a really interesting device, and rather uncommon (kid's POVs are usually more child-voice), but then it needs to somehow be more *intentional.* Otherwise, I really liked the language! Then again (ugh, sorry for being so nitpicky!)--some sentences trended towards a little too wordy (long strings of adjectives and modifiers). That was pretty rare though.

Also, I recognize that I'm giving you conflicting suggestions: "pare down, but also add more." UGH, SORRY!

Another strength that was a weakness, I really liked that the Casual Vacancy quote came back, and the language with how it did was pretty masterful. But then it came back again, and again--and it lost its impact. Ha, *impact* (sorry).

OK, this review was a total mess--I'm sorry! I hope it wasn't disheartening! I worry my feedback was confusing, so I'll leave you with a metaphor: this story is like some galloping beast running wild. I definitely don't want that beast to get tamed--it should APPEAR to run wild, but really, you hold the reigns.

I really hope this was helpful, and that this really interesting and unique story gets more love!
x
-Roisin

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Review #5, by crestwood PART TWO

2nd August 2014:
Oh no, why hasn't Timeus remembered Taddeus' birthday? I hope he's doing alright at Hogwarts! It's sad that Taddeus has to have nightmares about his SIBLINGS. That's just so so horrible of them to treat him like they do, I can't even think of correct words for what I feel for them. Pure contempt is probably the closest thing.

I was one hundred percent rooting for Taddeus to stand up for his brother. I do wish Timeus would have come home, if only for Taddeus, but I can understand his not wanting to spend Christmas with his family. You've left me with a bit of suspense to find out what is going on with him there.

I don't know if I necessarily believe that Timeus has completely forgot about Taddeus, but Tarquin and Tristessa DO raise some legitimate points. He really has somewhat left his younger brother out to dry.

This story is much, much different from what I'd normally read, but it's got me completely hooked now. I can tell you that the writing is excellent and gives such a dramatic feel to everything going on. The characters make you truly feel for them. (or against them) Thank you for your request, this was simply wonderful to read! Please re-request when you've uploaded the next chapter!

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Review #6, by crestwood PART ONE

2nd August 2014:
Hey, crestwood from the forums here for your requested review!

First off, I have never read a Next-Next Gen, but this is such a great idea. It definitely gives you room to create your own version of the world we all know and love!

The beginning was really tense because of how terrified Taddeus was of his siblings. But, I thought he was exaggerating. Like, taking a game of tag too seriously or something like that. So, I was VERY suprised when Tarquin kicked him in the stomach. That must be horrible to have bullies that you can't even escape at home.

Who's The Liar is an amazing idea. I wish I would have come up with it first! I can never think of games to have characters play to pass time, but that is absolutely genius.

Timeus and Taddeus' relationship seems so close. I'm glad Timeus got revenge on his terrible sister, even if it didn't end well for Taddeus. I still can't believe those children are so nasty - it's no wonder that they're Lestrange's. At least their two brothers have managed to subvert expectations.

The characterization is great, you've got me rooting against Tarquin and Tristessa and wishing Taddeus and Timeus the best already. I don't usually read stories with such young characters, but Taddeus and Timeus are interesting even in their young age. I like that you skipped the stereotypical first year send-off to Hogwarts 'oh wow look at the train' scene. You've skipped right over that and gotten to the emotions behind the scene from the kid being left behind. It's definitely refreshing. I'm (very) glad that Timeus is in Gryffindor so that he can seperate himself from his family like he wants to. That sorting makes sense, considering his lack of fear of his older siblings, who admittedly, seem like people to fear.

The writing is excellent and you've paced this perfectly. There's a lot of original ideas here as well. I can't wait to see where this goes. Great chapter!

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Review #7, by rozen_maiden (not logged in) PART ONE

7th August 2013:
This was just lovely to read. Your writing had me captivated, really. I haven't read anything like this before, so it was a real nice change. Thanks for the wonderful read!

Author's Response: Thank you for reading!! I'm glad you liked it :)

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Review #8, by HeyMrsPotter PART ONE

7th August 2013:
Hello :) I'm here to review your entry for my challenge!

First off, can I just say I am AMAZED at how long this one-shot is, it must have taken forever to write and I can tell that an incredible amount of effort has gone into writing this, you should be very proud-it's superb.

I got to the end of this and completely forgot that it was for a quote challenge, you fit the quote so effortlessly into the story and I love that you didn't just use it for the purpose of the challenge but you continued to use it as a theme throughout the story, it was such a clever use of it.

The characters you've created we're brilliant. I like that each character wasn't one dimensional or boring. Tristessa and Tarquin are just pure evil, the apple didn't fall far from the Lestrange tree at all with those two. It's rare in fanfiction that someone creates a character or characters that cause such strong emotions for me but I absolutely DESPISED those two. I was thrilled when Taddie got his own ounce of revenge when he fought with Tristessa but at the same time I hated that he did because I knew it wouldn't go unpunished.

Taddie was such a great character too, I felt so sorry for him throughout the story, it seemed like there was nothing he could do right in the eyes of his older siblings. His thought processes were fascinating, I loved the themes of the wrecking ball and the dragon that you used. I liked the use of the 'Da-dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum' throughout creating a sense of panic. I really felt for him when Timeus was sorted into Gryffindor and cut ties with the family, though I could see why he did it, I wish he had written just one letter to Taddie.

I like that you had Taddie become close to Genie, it was nice that he had someone for company after Timeus went to Hogwarts and I love that they had each other during the sorting. I have to say I was so disappointed that Taddie ended up in Slytherin but I think it made more sense to your story that he did, he wasn't brave enough to chose Gryffindor like Timeus did but I still wish he had've been.

The description throughout it outstanding too. You've got this amazing plot in which so much happens but not at any detriment to the description. I knew at every stage of the story what Taddie was thinking and feeling and experiencing, it made me able to relate to the character all the way through. The little details that you've included really made the story great, things like Taddie banging his head on Abraxas Malfoy, the guessing of the Christmas presents and I have to say I absolutely LOVE the game of Who's the Liar? It's such a clever idea and could have come from JKR herself, the flavours you used were brilliant and the characters reactions hilarious.

I honestly cannot praise this story enough. I'm so glad you decided to enter my challenge. Keep your eyes peeled on the forums for the results!

Author's Response: Wow - just wow. Thank you so much, my cheeks hurt from smiling while reading this review. Thank you for such a great challenge! It was such an awesome idea and I probably never would have thought to write this story had you not created it - so THANK YOU :)

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