Reading Reviews for The Chance Of A Lifetime
  
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by jade alexandra The Second Chance

2nd December 2013:
hi I love the story so plesase continue cause this is the best story I have read upto know please write another chapter

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Review #2, by luvinpadfoot The First Chance

21st July 2013:
Oh no! Poor James, he couldn't know that she was allergic to lilies (although that's very ironic). Still, a guy should probably not try to woo a girl using the flower she was named for. I don't have a flower name, but I'm guessing that could get old really fast.

Still, it wasn't a bad try on his part. Lily was enjoying herself until the end bit with the lilies. And she didn't seem too mad. Maybe she'll calm down when the itching stops and she feels better. And James still has two more chances! I'm sure he won't screw those up as badly.

I think it's sweet how James went to his friends for help with the date and they all tried to pitch in. Maybe next time he'll just try on his own, since his friends couldn't help.

This was a really original way to screw up that date, though! I've never seen a story in which Lily is allergic to lilies. I almost wish you'd done a bit more with it, shown more of James's reaction after the fact. I'm sure he was horrified he used flowers Lily was allergic too.

The only bit of criticism I have was that it seemed like there was a lot of dialogue and not so much description. A little description can go a long way in a story and could definitely help improve it. I loved the dialogue though and what you have is awesome!

Another great chapter! I'm really loving this chapter and can't wait for the next update! I'm sure James will have more spectacular ideas to make their lives a little more interesting. :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it and I will work on adding more description.

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Review #3, by luvinpadfoot The Deal

14th July 2013:
Ooh I wonder what James will do next! Lily's right, if he does like her he should know what she'd like after three whole years of watching her. I hope he gets it right, otherwise that could spell trouble.

My main critique is that the descriptions of the Marauders seemed a little stereotypical (not necessarily bad, just the same things I've read a lot when it comes to them) and that the description in between the dialogue seems a little sparse. Not big things, it could just be supplemented a bit by adding some more.

I really liked the dialogue, though! And the concept for this story is so cute. I really want to know what three things James does! I'm looking forward to more, this is a lovely first chapter! :)

Author's Response: Thank you for the advice, I will try to add more description in the next chapter and maybe go back to edit this one. :)

I hope you'll like the rest of the story!


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