Reading Reviews for The Broken Oath
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by teh tarik There Was a Boy

14th July 2013:
Hello there! This is an incredibly intriguing start to your story. I love AU, and I love different versions of that forest scene where Harry walks willingly to his death. From this chapter, it sounds as though he did give up his life freely, but he didn't come back to life, and that Voldemort kept his end of the deal and did not kill anyone else or so. Until he got tired of all that power. It's a very interesting concept, and I'm very intrigued about how you're going to flesh this out in greater detail.

There is a very interesting narrative structure to this fic. Clearly, there's the narrator of whom we still know very little about. There are very nice changes in tone between the present narration at the beginning, and the story he is recounting. The language of the story-within-the-story is more formal, less colloquial, as is expected, because it is being told, perhaps to an audience.

Anyway, this is a really great chapter, even if it was a bit short! Very exciting set-up, and I can't wait to see where you'll take this story :)

-teh

Author's Response: Thank you so very much for such a detailed review. I am afraid that this story goes off the rails at a somewhat different point to the one you imagined, although I do rather want to write that story now.

The narrator becomes clear early in the next chapter, and I do hope you will not be disappointed. I posted a large section of it on fanfiction, but it requires heavy editing, so I am putting up a slightly different version here. This version will continue to be told from the first person (on the whole), where as that one drops into a third person narrative in response to a review. I hope that the version here will be superior.

I hope you continue to enjoy reading. If you have any questions please feel free to ask.

Yours,

The Wayland Smith


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Review #2, by luvinpadfoot There Was a Boy

14th July 2013:
This is a really great start to the story! I'm a little curious who the narrator is though, although it sounds a bit like Harry since he says he hasn't seen anyone in a while and you mention later that he disappeared.

I loved the way you summarized the books, and spoke about the deal with the devil. What deal did Harry make? What's happening now, in the future? I have so many questions after just this short chapter!

And with this world moving on as you say in the last line, what comes from that? There's clearly a story here as it's only just the beginning and I really can't even begin to picture what's going to happen next. Harry and Draco and Voldemort- is Draco taking Voldemort's place as the next Dark Lord?

Okay, now I'm just starting to make things up. But really, this is a great start and I really enjoyed it! I'm looking forward to some of the answers to my questions being answered soon. :) Lovely first chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for such a detailed and positive review.

All will be revealed as to the narrator and much else. The story as it is is having some heavy editing done to it, but there will be more soon.

I hope the changes which will have occured and Voldemort, Harry and Draco all live up to your expectations. Some parts which may seem unclear will be explained later (though if you have any additional questions please feel free to ask).

I am afraid that the story style itself will change a bit because of the introduction, but I hope to keep it enjoyable.

Please keep reviewing as I value any insight or suggestions, they really help me make the story better.

Thank you again.

Best wishes,

The Wayland Smith


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