Reading Reviews for Risen: Out of the Ashes
  
40 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HPFAN An Evening Out

18th April 2014:
This was a great chapter and I am now super happy that you are editing. I remember when I first read through the story thinking how I would have liked to hear about their first "date not date". I was just so into the story that I kept on reading and kind of forgot that we didn't know. I have decided to re read from the beginning, stopping when you do for edits. For the chapter, great work. I liked how James was really trying to prove that he is gentleman to her, and that his reputation was working against him. I found it interesting that he never clarified if it was a date or not. The DNA scene was interesting because its a conversation I was having about basic education prior to Hogwarts in the HP world. Its so funny to think that they had no schooling like we have. All in all great chapter. Thank you for writing and I look forward to the next chapter? or edit? whatever it is.

Author's Response: Yea... one of the reasons I'm going back and editing is because of things like the date non date that I reference but never wrote about. So I'm trying to pay careful attention to where I can add more paragraphs and chapters. There will be two new chapters after this one. I feel like things will start making more sense the more I flush things out and add detail. I'm trying- lol!

I always wondered what magical kids did before Hogwarts. I sort of figured the pure blood kids never attended school, but Charlotte and her sisters would have, because they grew up in the states. It's interesting to think about- do they really not need math, science, writing, etc.? Maybe J.K will tell us someday.

Hope you enjoy the next two new chapters. :D


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Review #2, by UnluckyStar57 Introduction

16th April 2014:
Hello! Good for you, for going through the tedious task of editing and fixing things! :D

I never knew what this story was like before the editing started happening, but I can say that whatever you're doing is working! The story reads rather clearly and doesn't have many grammatical errors in it, yay! :D

Charlotte seems like an interesting character. What is her last name? I might have missed it, but I'm just curious to know! I admire her for enjoying running--because I don't. :D I'm glad that she's a Ravenclaw and that she likes school! Also, I think it's nice that she DOESN'T have a crush on James Potter, nor does she hate him with every fibre of her being. It's going to be interesting to see what happens between them!

One suggestion that I have for you is that you pick a tense--past or present--and stick with it. It seems that in the beginning, you started out in present and then later switched to past. It will help greatly with the cohesiveness of the story if you stay in one tense the whole time--unless there's a flashback or something that requires a different tense. :)

Great beginning!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Hello. :)

Thanks for the thoughts... much appreciated. :)

I just started editing, so it may be a bit before the story is finished (again)... but it's going to be worth it (for me, and hopefully, for you).

Charlotte's last name is Gray. I'm glad you enjoy the lack of mutual hate and/or massive crush. I thoroughly enjoy those stories, but it didn't work for what I had in mind. :)

Heh- I realize I do that. the first and last chapter are told from a narrator's POV, but otherwise it goes back and forth between James and Charlotte. I'll have to try and pay attention to which tense I'm using- it's always been something I have to pay attention to. Thanks for that suggestion- I'll do my best to watch out for that.

Hope you enjoy the new and improved Risen- to be finished soon. I hope.



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Review #3, by HPFAN Introduction

16th April 2014:
So you know how much I love this story and I will gladly re-read/ read new material. Are you doing it chapter by chapter? I loved binge reading this the first time so should I wait a bit and do that again? Also, The cliffhanger at the end, how true!!!

Author's Response: hiya!

Yes, I'm doing it chapter by chapter and adding new chapters. So there will be at least 3 new chapters before they even get to Hogwarts (maybe more). I'm making notes about what's new and edited... so you could just read what's new... or wait a while. It's up to you. I'd say just read what's new. :)


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Review #4, by Lottie A Bad Morning, A Decent Afternoon, and A Night to Remember (Part One)

15th April 2014:
Your sooo modest! It doesn't matter that Nintendo created mario kart! It's your amazing idea to include it in the story helping us relate to a world we know.

Author's Response: Well the game is so much fun... I had to include it somehow. :) Hope you're enjoying the story... I'm doing some big edits on it right now.

Thanks so much for the review! Us writers live for them. :)

Have a fantastic day (or night- wherever you are).


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Review #5, by alex bester Epilogue

10th April 2014:
love it

x
thank you so much

Author's Response: So happy you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading it, and for the review. Keeps me writing. :)

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Review #6, by HP Epilogue

9th April 2014:
So I kind of just wanted to say thank you one more time for the story. I sat here trying to think of why I loved this story so much and I came up with two things. One was your writing style which made it so easy to fall in love with the characters you created. The other reason is that as I am writing this I am staring at my Charlotte. We started as a high school couple and made it through all the trials and tribulations life could throw at you in 7 years. Your story shows the strength of love. Not only of how love can support someone when they feel broken or scared, but how it can make you realize who you truly want and deserve to be. Thats what I took from it at least. Your story told my life in a magical world and with much better grammar. Congratulations, Thanks again and I look forward to any and everything you write.

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Review #7, by HPFAN A Discovery, A Rainy Day, and A Trip Down Memory Lane

9th April 2014:
So I really wasnt expecting another chapter to this story, then I saw that you you put the epilogue up too, lets just say I am very happy HPFAN. As for the chapter? Marry Poppins (Practically perfect in every way). I loved the recap of events from James' perspective and the tie in of how he caught Rose/Scorp. It was silly to picture him hiding behind Rose, both of them afraid of the Wotter Wrath. The end of the chapter was quite relatable. I feel like most people get a sense of maturity when they finally realize all of the comforts they have while in school will be taken from them. Jobs, bills, fending for yourself, it comes as a surprise no matter how prepared you think you are. But when you have someone you truly care for with you, your fears dissipate ever so slightly because you know they will always be there for you. As always thank you for writing and I am about to read the epilogue so prepare for another review.

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you so much for all of your reviews. I honestly can't begin to explain how much they meant to me. It wasn't just encouraging for this story, but for all my stories, both fanfciton and real novels. Seriously, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm so happy you enjoyed the story and that what I hoped to convey came across the way I wanted it to. It's about the best thing a writer can hope for. :)


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Review #8, by HPFAN A Fight, A Savior, and A Secret Becomes Known

9th April 2014:
Wow was that an amazing chapter. It feels so odd to complement a piece that delves into such a dark and awful subject but your writing is so good it deserves the praise. This was a great mix of dialogue and action which left me feverishly consuming each word to see what would happen next. I love the confidence that Charlotte was able to show and her clear thinking was a great representation of her Ravenclaw sorting. Another nice bit was the comedic relief provided at the end at Scorp's expense. I hope he doesn't get it too bad from the Wotter clan. I cannot say the same for Avery though. I never wish death upon characters but a serious, life altering, debilitating injury would work. Yet another amazing chapter and as always thank you for writing. I truly look forward to every chapter you write. Its easy to leave kind words because you genuinely deserve them. Thanks again for your work.

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Review #9, by HPFAN A Kitchen Discussion, A Threat, and A Wotter Family Game Night

8th April 2014:
I can not tell you how much I am enjoying this story. Every time I think I have Charlotte figured out something changes. Its nice to be kept on the edge of your seat. I kind of figured her dad would be an a** again and screw things up but I didn't expect Ava's reaction. I know I don't want this story to end but at the same time I cant wait to see how you end it. Avery is, well, pretty creepy to say the least. I hope he gets what he deserves. I do love the pacing of the story. You cover enough time to keep the story moving without making it seem rushed. Another reason why I liked the chapter so much is that it was so dialogue driven, which in my opinion is where you shine. Once again thank you for writing and I look forward to the next chapter.

P.S. And a sequel? what what!!

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Review #10, by HPFAN A Crazy Mum, A Dreaded Encounter, and A Night Under the Stars

5th April 2014:
This was such a good chapter. The back and forth between James and his mum provided a nice comedic break in a chapter that had some pretty serious moments. I can totally see Ginny as a mum and acting that way, trying not to be like her mum but still being somewhat Molly-esque. As for the meat of the chapter I thought the talk went well. The parallel between what Charlottes father said about her mother and what Asher said about Charlotte was a good way f showing how the wrong mindset can ruin a relationship. James is truly different from any other male counterpart that Charlotte has had and its great to see her finally accepting it. I look forward to you continuing the story. From a fans perspective I never want this story to end. Unless you plan on doing a sequel. However if it is meant to end then it is meant to end and I will wait for your next story. Thank you again for your writing.

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Review #11, by HPFAN A Dream, A Hospital Stay, and An Annoying Mum

3rd April 2014:
First of all, Bravo. This is a great story. I have recently binge read the entire thing which is why I have yet to leave a comment. I figured I would encapsulate all of them until I caught up. This is the epitome of a character interaction driven story. You needn't rely on action scenes or plot twists rather a simple, yet brilliant love story. The dynamic between James and Charlotte feels real and it flows very well through the story. Charlottes character and family provides a nice antithesis to James in the beginning yet throughout the story the similarities begin to shine through. The point of view changes offer a great deal of insight to other side of the story without being repetitive. I personally loved the idea of Kintsugi? (I couldn't remember the exact chapter it was in and this is what came up from google) to explain how James saw Charlotte. It was a great way to put his feelings into words. The supporting character do a great job of providing comedic relief and advice when needed. Its great to see that you don't overuse them. Yet another aspect that makes this story stand out to me was the view on sex you took. Many other stories I've read either skirted around the topic or overdramatize it. Its refreshing to see a more realistic view. All in all this is, as I have said, a great story. Please know that you have a true fan on this site and I will be waiting with a great deal of anticipation for the story to continue. Thank you for writing.

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Review #12, by Amelia A Dream, A Hospital Stay, and An Annoying Mum

1st April 2014:
Awesome Chapter! I found it really funny, leave it to James to make everything so much harder and awkward. Can't wait for the next one!

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Review #13, by Amelia A Dream, A Hospital Stay, and An Annoying Mum

1st April 2014:
Awesome Chapter! I found it really funny, leave it to James to make everything so much harder and awkward. Can't wait for the next one!

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Review #14, by Amelia A Rush of Anger, A Trip to the Hospital Wing, and A Good Memory

23rd November 2013:
Great chapter! I adore the story you have written so far. I've been so enticed by the story I've read the whole thing twice and certain chapters i reread every couple days! Any idea when you might post the next chapter?

Author's Response: Hi!

I moved recently and have been very caught up in settling in and starting a new job, but just started working on the next chapter. should be up soon! Glad you like the story. :)


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Review #15, by newgenerationlover A Bad Morning, A Decent Afternoon, and A Night to Remember (Part Two)

13th October 2013:
Hi, so I was going to save my review until i caught up with the latest chapter but I will just do it now because I have a question. What was the gift that Harry gave to James and that James gave away?

Ok, now on to the review :). So I really love this story and I could not really put my finger on why I loved it so much until this chapter. I thought about it and it wasn't the writing style- even though it is excellent, it isn't the plot- although I love it and it is very original, but it is the character development that is so amazing. There are so many stories here that is about how this shy girl that everyone looks over somehow gets the really hot and popular guy that just gets her. However, those stories just don't usually work. They usually are trying to hard. However, your story actually works. The chemistry between James and Charlotte seems real and really makes me feel for them. You have done a really amazing job on this story.

Now it is time for me to continue reading this wonderful story. haha :)

Author's Response: You don't know how much it meant to read that review. so thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope you continue to enjoy the story.
As for the gift- I literally couldn't think of anything so left it vague. I will be doing edits soon and will have to figure out the specific item then. lol.


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Review #16, by Meena A Dream, A Guest, and A Family Reunion

13th October 2013:
Random comment: I love the book Kite Runner and totally recommend it though it is a bit mature.
Another (not so)random comment: This story is great, keep on writing!

Author's Response: Hi!
You have good taste in books. :) I love all of his books, it's very eye opening.
And I'm glad you like my story. thank you so so much for the review.


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Review #17, by laughdaily A Love Connection, A Memory, and A Quidditch Game

7th October 2013:
Just read all this story today, and loving it so much! I just got completely absorbed, I especially love Dom's character!

Author's Response: Glad you like it! Thanks so much for reading, and thank you so much for commenting. It really helps with the motivation. :)

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Review #18, by Gotta Love HP A Magical Day, A Celebration and A New Years Eve Party

31st August 2013:
ERMYGERSH.
If you break up James and Charlotte, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you. -Taps nose-

BUT ANYWAYS, THIS IS JUST SO, GAAAH, PERFECT!

Sorry if this offends anyone, but when I first heard about Asher, I thought he was of the.Darker skin tone.
And to this moment, that's all i can imagine.

Your story is really good, I hope you continue to pursue it.

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Review #19, by harrypotterwriter3 A Magical Day, A Celebration and A New Years Eve Party

30th August 2013:
This chapter is my favorite by far! I can't wait to read more :)

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Review #20, by shewhomustnotbenamed_ A Bad Morning, A Decent Afternoon, and A Night to Remember (Part Two)

24th August 2013:
Ahh I loved it, seriously it was perfect and I can't wait for the next chapter! Also what was it what was the second gift that Charlotte got James I can't remember what he got rid of, I know I'm a bad reader... But seriously great story please update soon!

Author's Response: Eek! Glad you liked it. Uploading the next chapter tonight, hopefully it will be up soon.
As for the 2nd gift- I intentionally didn't say what it was. Because I literally couldn't think of anything. Once I do, I'll go back and edit.


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Review #21, by house elf A Bad Morning, A Decent Afternoon, and A Night to Remember (Part One)

15th August 2013:
Woah, loved James' rant at mr gray haha! Everything he said was true. Charlotte has despicable parents :/

I love James' character, he's such a sweetieee. Great story so far, update soon!

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Review #22, by house elf Reunion with James Potter

13th August 2013:
Heheheh this is a great chapter! It was dramatic, over-the-top, and in places unrealistic... but all in the best possible way ;)

I really like James. He's funny, chivalrous, and just an ordinary teenage boy... I loved these lines: '"Need help getting out?" There was definitely some excitement underneath that attempt at a question. Boys will be boys.'

haha, and it was funny when his 'breathing changed' when Charlotte got closer to him, and his 'eyes widened' as she got out the shower... tehe. I love how she clearly has the same effect on him as he does on her. It's so endearing!

Author's Response: Eek! Glad you liked the chapter! Thanks for the review, I live for them! :)

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Review #23, by house elf Introduction

13th August 2013:
This is a lovely start! Hey, my name's Charlotte too *high fives your protagonist*. She seems like a very nice, normal girl. It was sweet of her to stay to keep her mother company.

You might want to consider breaking up the paragraphs into smaller ones? :) It just makes it easier to read.

Can't wait to read on :D

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review! I do shorten the paragraphs in a few chapters and will go back and edit the early ones after the story is done. :)
Hope you enjoy the story!


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Review #24, by luvinpadfoot A Dream, A Guest, and A Family Reunion

10th August 2013:
I pointed out one thing in the last chapter about his parents not being there and all of a sudden so many people! Haha! I love it! Harry and Ginny are just how I imagined they would be.

I adore James's relationship with his family. It just seems so realistic! And it's beautifully contrasted with Charlotte's relationship with her family. I especially liked how James didn't realize that families less perfect than his could really exist. That was very well written, great characterization!

I laughed so hard at all of his family's teasing. Even his Dad and Mum got in on it, poor James (well, not really). Everyone just assuming that he and Charlotte are together is hilarious! I'm loving it so much!

I feel so bad for Charlotte and her bad relationship with her father. I really hope as the story progresses that gets a little bit better. She deserves to be happier than she is and feel more loved, although James is such a sweetheart for getting her out of the house and taking her camping.

I know you said you had trouble with this chapter, but it definitely didn't show at all. So far this is one of my favorite chapters of the whole story! The entire thing was beautifully crafted and just perfect in every way! :)

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Review #25, by luvinpadfoot Twenty Questions Part Deux

10th August 2013:
I disappear for two weeks and so many new chapters! I'll definitely be reading through and reviewing them all over the next few days. Sorry for missing them before.

Ooh The Princess Bride is my favorite! I honestly love you ten times more for referencing that. Anyone who loves TPB must be amazing.

James and Charlotte are really cute. I loved how he was just over the hill sending little notes back and forth with her- that was the most adorable situation! I like how he's so protective of her, but not at all in a creepy way. He just seems really nice, which is a good change of pace.

I can't believe his parents let him have a motorcycle. I'd have loved to see their reaction when he first got one haha! And speaking of them, I'd really like to see more characters since so far it's just been Charlotte and James, with brief cameo from her mother, of course. I'd just like to see how they interact with other people and if James changes how he acts (to be fair that should be James and Charlotte both, but I'll just stick with James because I feel like his changes would be more obvious).

I'm eager for the rest so I'll keep reading! Lovely chapter as always. :)

Author's Response: Hope you like what I've been up to with Charlotte and James. :)
So you like Dr. Who and The Princess Bride? wish I knew you in real life, you have good taste. :D
I like to think that James "borrowed" the motorcycle. :)


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