Reading Reviews for Magic Carpets in Goblininstan
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by teh tarik A Magic Carpet Ride

28th July 2013:
SERENE! ♥

OK, sorry for the caps, but this is the only story I've read so far that's just made me squeal and shriek with absolute joy. I love Hannah/Neville. And I absolutely adore your story. It's fluffy and it's absolutely hilarious - both of them, Hannah and Neville; they make such a perfect couple. Poor Neville and his awkwardness and his naivete and how easily he listens to rubbish advice by that Weasley boy. And that has to be the most awkward proposal scene I've ever read. And I loved it. I suspected that that little paper of what I can only assume is badly written poetry would fly away, and it did. But gaaah, Neville! He more than made up for that with his shouted proposal and declaration of love. (HANNAH, I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU AT HOME, WATERING THE PLANTS AND NOT RIDING THE FLOORING! WILL YOU MARRY ME!?). Seriously, I'm tearing up at how sweet and how ridiculous and how adorable and how absolutely heartwarming this is.

Hannah's characterisation was exceptional as well; all those ecstatic thoughts in parentheses really made me laugh (Her boyfriend! Her boyfriend! Her boyfriend!). You have such a wonderful light touch for humour and fluff.

Also, I love your attention to detail! You have a very fine eye for detail, and your descriptive parts are such a lovely interlude to the action and to Hannah's thoughts. It's not overdone, and there's just the right amount of description, splashes of vivid colour here and there, like the patterns on the rug or the bit of paper spiralling away. Gorgeous.

I absolutely loved this oneshot, Serene! ♥ Adding this to my favourites so I can come back and giggle at it more.

-teh

Author's Response: *sobs* I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to reply to your review!

Yep, that Weasley boy is a terrible influence, isn't he? Haha, I'm sure Ron even helped out with some of that terrible poetry (what rhymes with flutterby bloom? 'I love you more than a high speed broom?'). Thanks for the comments on the details. I know I can be stingy when it comes to detail, so I'm glad that you thought there was enough description to brighten things up. :)

Thanks again for your wonderful review, teh!


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Review #2, by marauderfan A Magic Carpet Ride

14th July 2013:
Eeee this was SO cute :D I thought it was great that Hannah suspected Ron and Harry were responsible for Neville's odd behaviour and sudden spontaneity. I just loved how awkward/adorable Neville was, trying to have this great romantic proposal but his plans kept getting foiled. (How cute was that "you are like a flutterby bloom" - SO Neville :D ) Hannah and Neville are adorable together. Also, I like that you invented an entire country that's hidden to Muggles! Anyway, from start to finish this story was like one big "awww". Great work :)

Author's Response: Aww, you're so sweet! Yeah, poor Neville must have worked so hard on that romantic proposal--it's lucky that Hannah loves him anyway. Thanks for the great review!

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Review #3, by HeyMrsPotter A Magic Carpet Ride

14th July 2013:
AWWW! This was adorable!! I just love Neville, how could you not? He and Hannah are so cute together and this is something I could absolutely imagine happening! I love that Hannah knew him so well that she knew Harry and/or Ron would be involved in the idea. I love how he was fumbling around with the parchment and had to write down what he wanted to say. I love how in love they were and that hannah kept being all giddy about it. All in all, I just loved this!

Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad you liked this! I definitely think that Hannah/Neville might be one of the cutest HP ships, haha. Thanks for the review!

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Review #4, by caomoyl A Magic Carpet Ride

14th July 2013:
Aww, this was so sweet! I love the idea of this. I can really see Ron thinking Neville was boring for only caring about plants and giving him some wild idea of how to propose. Neville being scared of being up there seems so true too and having both of them scared just added a nice bit of humour to it which I liked!

I like how you had some of Hannah's side thoughts in brackets. They also added humour and are things I can really imagine her thinking, or anyone who is in love really. I thought the proposal itself was sweet and Neville being all nervous and writing it out first was so cute!

Loved it!

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry for the late response! Yeah, I think Ron probably would give poor Neville a hard time about being boring--I guess Neville is lucky he has such a kind and patient girlfriend, haha. I'm glad you think the side-thoughts in parentheses worked; sometimes I'm leery of doing things like that in case it seems overused in the story itself.

Thanks again for the great review!


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Review #5, by ginerva_molly_weasley A Magic Carpet Ride

13th July 2013:
OH This is just cuteness on a plate!

You're a fantastic author Serene and this really does show it. You capture both Neville's clumsiness but also the whole relationship between Hannah and Neville perfectly.

I love the fact that he chooses to propose on a flying carpet on the advice of Ron as it shows that whilst Neville lacks the ability or intelligence to be romantic he still tries to impress his lady although it doesn't quite work out as he planning.

The proposal is just wonderfully cute and I want to squish both Neville and Hannah in a bear hug on that flying carpet. I loved it!

Well done

Author's Response: *squishes* Well, thank you so much! Neville/Hannah is one of my favorite ships because their characters are just so adorable, haha! Thanks for the review!

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Review #6, by DracoFerret11 A Magic Carpet Ride

13th July 2013:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from Ravenclaw on the forums here to review for you for the House Cup 2013! :D So, let's go over things:

Plot: This was so sweet! It's actually the second magic carpet story I've read. :) I love that you stuck to canon and had Neville be with Hannah. I can imagine him really wanting to do something impressive when he proposed, but not knowing that him just being him would be enough. I wonder if he would have lost some of his nervousness after the war. Hmm...

Characterization: I think Neville and Hannah were both really sweet. They obviously care about each other and you showed that really well. I like that Hannah was quite similar to Neville and their nervousness was so sweet.

Descriptions: I loved all the little details you added like what the rug looked like and how high they were. That really helped bring the story to life. I enjoyed being able to "see" the story.

Emotions: This was adorable (which I keep mentioning). I loved that Neville wasn't out of character and that he wasn't pathetic either. He seemed very believable and I like that he could admit that he just wanted something special, but it scared him too. And Hannah was really understanding of that, even though she wasn't very happy about being on the carpet either!

Overall, this was a good story and I enjoyed reading it. Good luck with the House Cup!

--Emily

Author's Response: Hi Emily! Sorry it's taken me awhile to reply to your review!

You bring up a good point about Neville losing some nervousness after the war. I think you're right--he probably would have and if I ever edit this, I might think about how to show it. In the meantime, I'm going to use the excuse that marriage proposals are terrifying things. :P

I'm glad you enjoyed reading this, and thanks for your thoughtful review!


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Review #7, by Debra20 A Magic Carpet Ride

13th July 2013:
Serene I am absolutely, without fault and forever in LOVE with your entry. I don't know if I can find the right words to express just how much I've enjoyed this story. Like really, REALLY enjoyed! It was the perfect mix of humour and sweetness that anyone could ask for.

I must confess I've never met a Hannah half as great as yours. I can't say exactly what about the way you chose to portray her makes her come to life like she has (maybe her terrible fright of heights or the way she kept freaking out that Neville was her boyfriend), but keep doing it because it's amazing! They both are completely real people here. I think they've actually jumped from the books and settled into your story because I can't find another way to explain the perfect resemblance they have to their original selves from the HP series. Especially Neville. GOD, how I loved Neville in your story. I'm so happy he stayed IC because we all know that he never asked to have any glory and would never presume to be a war hero...if anything, he'd always feel embarrassed and flushed when people would mention the great deeds he's done in the Second War. So it seems the most natural thing in the world that he'd be more afraid of heights (as he has been since we're first introduced to his character by JK) than defying Voldemort haha

And that proposal scene...the sweetest, most hilarious proposal scene ever! I felt like hugging Neville all the way through. Fighting in a war didn't change his clumsiness and his fretful nature and I'm glad you decided to keep him like that. It gives him a lot of depth.

Seriously in love with this piece. 10/10 without a doubt! I'll add it to my favourites pronto :D

Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much for your compliments, especially on Hannah! I'll be honest, if I were an HP character, I would most likely be Hannah, haha, so maybe that had something to do with it. :P You know, I didn't even think of the afraid of heights thing in canon until you pointed it out...but shhh, we'll keep that our secret because it actually works out so well! Haha!

Thanks for the favorite and this wonderful review! :)


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Review #8, by BluebirdBrigade A Magic Carpet Ride

13th July 2013:
Hello, I'm reviewing for the HC review-a-thon!

Gah! My insides are all mushy and I just can't even--, god, I loved this fic so much. The way you made Hannah and Neville your own was so amazing and the romance that was going on was totally stirring up my feels and making me want to hug myself. I was smiling like an idiot all the way through the second half of the story. I love how perceptive you make Hannah and how she knows that Ron and Harry would have had something to do with this unexpected trip.

Oh god, Neville was just uber adorable in this fic - I fell in love with with him and I love how Hannah is like the sensible and mature side to his bumbling behaviour. It was so utterly sweet that he'd want to do something special for her, even if he got it a bit wrong, and that he doesn't want to be boring because she doesn't deserve that. That scene was making me such a hopeless romantic. I am a big fan of Hannah/Neville and I think they are a really adorable couple.

The proposal scene was definitely my favourite part. I love the quirk you added to Neville's character that he'd write out what he wants to say before hand and then loses it because that is just how I imagine it would be. I love the way he starts it off with 'you're as pretty as a fluttery bloom', comparing her to something he is equally passionate about, plants.

You really hit the nail on the head by making the references and the descriptions which just totally screamed Neville. His actual proposal had me giggling and I love the comedy that's interwoven into this sweet piece of writing - it really worked and made for an entertaining read. I completely adored it and didn't see any grammatical or spelling errors at all! Such a great entry for the HC!

Maz x

Author's Response: Hi Maz! Sorry it's taken so long for me to respond to your lovely review! Thanks for saying that the references to Neville made sense in this story--it secretly always makes me nervous writing characters that are reasonably well known in the original books, haha. And lol, making your insides all mushy was exactly the response I was looking for!

Thanks for the review, Maz!


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Review #9, by nott theodore A Magic Carpet Ride

13th July 2013:
Hello! I'm here reviewing for Gryffindor in the house cup :)

What a lovely story! I enjoyed reading this so much, and it's just so cute and fluffy that it makes me really happy to read a story like this.

I did wonder if anyone would use magic carpets as part of the travel theme and it's great that you did, and I loved the thought and detail you put into their journey. The idea of a purely magical country that Muggles can't visit is so exciting, and I found myself wishing I could go there and take a magic carpet ride myself after reading this! It makes me surprised that we haven't heard of a destination like this in canon, because it would make life so much easier for all the witches and wizards who wanted to do these sorts of things on holiday but didn't want to risk detection. It's a really great concept.

The characterisation of both Neville and Hannah was really good. I had an inkling from the beginning that he was going to use this trip to propose to Hannah, but the idea that he had to write his proposal speech out in advance, even though they've clearly been in a relationship for a while, seems so consistent with the character we see in the books. I wanted to give him a hug when the paper flew away from him, but luckily he managed to say what he wanted to!

Hannah was a very interesting character to narrate the story. I loved the fact that you included her thoughts in parenthesis, giving us an insight into what she was really feeling inside - she's staying calm on the exterior but internally she's squealing with happiness about being with Neville. I can see her here as a perfect match for Neville, with both of them preferring to stay at home in comfort than travel to exotic locations - even if the travelling was worth it here!

I really enjoyed the mention of Harry and Ron as well, and the way that Hannah was secretly convinced that they'd put Neville up to this; it shows how well she knows both Neville and his friends. I can also see Neville being easily swayed by something Harry and Ron say in that respect, even if it goes against his better judgement.

I don't have any CC at all for you here - this was really well written and a pleasure to read. Well done!

Sian :)

Author's Response: I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply to your review! Thanks for the feedback on the muggle-free country; at the time I wasn't sure if it'd work out, or if it would just seem like laziness on my part for not picking something real. I'm also glad that you liked the mention of Harry and Ron, haha, who I bet would have put poor Neville up to something like this too. :P

Thanks for the review!


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Review #10, by maskedmuggle A Magic Carpet Ride

12th July 2013:
Hey!

Ahh! I just loved this - it was so fluffy and sweet and romantic! I really loved Hannah and Neville's characterisation here and how you portrayed their relationship.

I loved the idea of Goblininstan and how it was such a small country that it was entirely muggle-free. The idea of magic carpets is also very exciting and even though Hannah/Neville didn't really seem to enjoy being up in the air so high I know I would have! :P I really loved how Hannah thought that the only reason Neville would've wanted to go on a magic carpet would be due to the influence from Harry/Ron, and how she turned out to be right!

The proposal itself was really sweet. I loved how nervous Neville appeared to be and thought it was very Neville to have a piece of paper to read out from! But then I ultimately liked the way Neville said the proposal and the happy ending. Well written :)

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2013 Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Gah, I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to answer your wonderful review!

I'm glad that you liked the idea of a muggle-free country, haha. I wasn't sure it was going to work, but I'm happy it did!

Thanks again for your great review!


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Review #11, by Violet Gryfindor A Magic Carpet Ride

12th July 2013:
This is absolutely adorable! I couldn't resist reading this story when I saw it was about magic carpets. They're the one magical item that I've love to see included in more stories because they're just so much fun (and maybe it's also because I liked the carpet in "Aladdin"). The descriptions you included about how the carpets worked and what the one looks like was just what I was hoping to see - the rest of the story turned out to be a lovely treat.

Your creativity in this story, especially the idea of a wizarding tourist destination that's actually a whole little country covered by Muggle wards, is fantastic. There's a great whimsical quality about it that also reflects in the narration with Hannah's added emphases. Seeing her thoughts in that form gave her a lot of personality - I could easily imagine the bubbly Hufflepuff who loves quiet, happy things. You demonstrate why she's a perfect match for Neville, who is equally well-characterized. I like the implied contrast between his status as war hero and the humble, reserved young wizard who has to write his proposal speech in advance. That scene left me squeeing from the cuteness. Usually I don't enjoy fluff like this, but something in your style and the way that you executed this idea made it a highly satisfying read. It reminds me that I have to come back and read more of your stories. ^_^

Author's Response: Thanks Violet! That's all so sweet of you to say! I'm glad you liked it, even if it was fluffy, haha!

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