Reading Reviews for A Picnic to Remember
25 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Maelody The Surprise

5th February 2015:
How dare you say this isn't something that's as good as your other pieces! :p I absolutely loved it! This was so squishy, and adorable! :D I think it was perfect! :3

It's always refreshing to see that it's Dom and Teddy instead of Vic and Teddy. Also, it's nice to see that it's not her sneaking behind her sister's back while he and Vic are dating. ;) Though, I can't imagine Vic will take to them dating very well right away even in this circumstance. ;)

The picnic was so cute! And I just love the bit where Teddy is upset that she's so hard to surprise, and it's most unfortunate because he loves giving them! I love surprises! I'll take Teddy for her so I can get his surprises! Especially if they're surprises like that! :D

Aww, the broken hairbrush portkey. You must like that portkey. ;P I noticed it in your story A Mother's Tale I think. ;)

One of the reasons I'm absolutely astonished at you thinking this isn't one of your best pieces of work, is that you wrote this in just a couple of hours, AND you have so many incredible details in it! The sea and beach, the feeling of traveling by portkey. Their feelings. :3 It's all so very lovable! So you take back that comment right now, young lady! This story is absolutely delightful! :D


Author's Response: Aha I am happy you enjoyed this piece despite me feeling it's not up to the mark!

Your comments mean a lot to me so I'm really pleased you enjoyed the pairing here and liked the picnic and the way Teddy surprised her.

Haha really? I didn't realise I had another broken hairbrush portray in any of my other stories xP It's just something random that popped in my mind haha.

I did try and put in as much detail as possible so I'm glad you liked it all. Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #2, by EnigmaticEyes16 The Surprise

3rd February 2015:
Hi! Finally starting on your Hot Seat Reviews!

I must say, this is the first of your stories I've read in a while (although I have read a quite a few in the past) so I can't say whether or not it was up to your usual standard, but either way I really liked it.

I thought it was very cute how Teddy surprised Dominique by taking her somewhere far away and having a picnic and then springing the question of asking her to be his girlfriend on her. I thought it was very sweet and I kinda love how instead of saying it, he just goes for it and kisses her, much to her surprise. And I especially like how after the kiss, she still makes him say it. Cause you gotta know, gotta define that relationship or else risk some serious miscommunications.

Again, I really enjoyed this entire one-shot and thought it was all very sweet, and I'm happy the two got their happy ending after all.

Great job with this!


Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing!
I am glad you liked it - even though I feel it's not up to my usual standard xP
Well, sometimes my characters deserve happy endings haha.

 Report Review

Review #3, by Lululuna The Surprise

26th March 2014:
Hello! :) Reviving Slytherin review tag here... :P

Aw, this was just so adorable! I like how it seems compliant with the Dominique and Teddy from 'The Worst' and shed some light on what they might have been like during happier times. 'The Worst' shows Teddy helping Dom through, well, the worst time in her life, but this sheds a happier, more liberated light on their relationship.

I really like how you explained what had happened with Victoire and how that led to Dom and Teddy getting together. The explanation made a lot of sense here, and I really liked how the fact that he had dated Victoire remained firmly in the past, yet certainly wasn't forgotten. Also, I love how they were friends for several years, and really got along so well as friends. It's clear in the story how well they know one another, down to Teddy knowing Dom's favourite book. Also, what was the book out of curiosity? :) (if you have one picked out, that is).

I wish I could be a wizard and travel to Malaysia every month! :P The beach sounded really amazing and I loved the way you described it. The scene was a wonderful escape from reality and for them to be isolated, and I really liked how playful the two of them were together as well.

This was such a cute story, and a joy to read! :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I am glad you liked this. This story is part of my head canon for Teddy/Dom and so it is kind of compliant to The Worst yeah. I am glad you liked how the couple was shown during such happy times =)

It's nice to know that you liked my explanation of Victoire and the past =) I love friends-turned-lovers kind of stuff so this was nice for me to write xD The book was definitely something related to the Wizarding War II (Harry's fight with Voldemort) as my Dom loves reading stuff related to that xD

Haha I am currently in Malaysia right now but I have only gotten the chance to visit that island just once. But thank you for your lovely words, I'm glad the place descriptions sounded good =)

 Report Review

Review #4, by Unwritten Curse The Surprise

17th February 2014:
Aww, this is such a sweet one-shot. I do not approve of you calling this "not a very good one-shot." Not at all. :P

I'm really intrigued by the idea that Teddy would go for Dominique after being involved with Victoire. It's so interesting that I wish you had explored it even more! Does Teddy feel guilty about it? How are Teddy and Victoire now? Does this get in the way of Dominique's feelings for Teddy (the fact that her sister used to date him)? I'm curious to know!

I enjoyed the little details that you threw in--like Dom reading a Muggle novel and how she felt off-kilter after the portkey. I love little details like that. They ground the whole piece for me in reality.

I also found it interesting that the narration, despite being in third person, wove in and out of both Teddy and Dom's inner thoughts and reactions. I think you moved at the right moments--when Teddy is thinking about how he never imagined going after Victoire's sister, when Dom sees the 'secret location' for the first time, when Teddy is nervous to tell her how he feels. I thought it was done well, but the kissing bit at the end was confusing because we move from Dom's perceptions (that she was shocked into stillness, that joy erupted in her heart, that it was a dream come true) to Teddy's perceptions (that he felt guilty, that he noticed she had moved onto his lap) very quickly, and there's a back and forth sort of seeing that is slightly confusing.

I hope that made sense...

Anyway, let me repeat: By no means is this a bad one-shot. I enjoyed its sweetness. I like it when characters show vulnerability, because that's real. It's authentic. And the adorableness of this story is seriously squee worthy. :D

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hey Gina! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing =)

I am glad you found this sweet.

Well, I do have a backstory for how Teddy feels about "going for Dominique after Victoire" but it was too much to put into this little one-shot. I have to say though, Teddy doesn't feel very guilty about it, because he never had a serious relationship with Victoire - it was just one of those high school flings that never last =) As for Dominique though, he really fell in love with her after.

I am pleased you liked the little details, I always enjoy writing those and it makes me happy that they get noticed.

This is the first time I tried third person that looks into both the characters POV simultaneously and I was a bit apprehensive about. I am relieved you found it interesting and felt it moved at the right moments. As for the kissing bit at the end, I'll try to smooth it out when I get the time to edit =)

It did make sense and I am pleased overall you liked it and found it squee worthy. Yay xD Thanks!

 Report Review

Review #5, by Pixileanin The Surprise

29th January 2014:
Hi there. I decided to skip on over from review tag.

This story makes me wonder if there's anything in the "guy code" about dating an ex's sister or not. Not being a guy, I have no idea, but it's curious.

I am very fond of the "friends becoming more" scenario. This one-shot describes that beautifully. It was fun to read the sweet moments that you captured between these two characters. I could tell through your writing that the two characters had a good friendship bond built up, so it was nice to see them both get the chance to express their deeper feelings for each other and have it turn out for the better.

The way you incorporated magic into the story was also nicely done. I'm always wondering other things too, like how far can a portkey really take someone? And did Teddy have to pay extra for a portkey to a secluded beach? Oh, the questions... not that I expected your fic to answer these questions. They're just speculative meanderings in my head that come about from time to time. :) I really like how Teddy allowed Dom an entire two hours to unwind before he got down to business. That really says something about how much he cares for her. He definitely had her best interests at heart.

Your writing was nice and clean, and your descriptions painted a clear picture of the surroundings and the way that these two felt about each other.

A nice, feel-good piece!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for reading and reviewing.

Haha I think its only us girls who have "codes" like that - at least all my guy friends don't have those so I applied it to Teddy too xP

I love the scenario myself and I am pleased you liked the way I wrote it. It's nice to know you understood my characters and what I was trying to portray as well =)

Well, of course I can't answer these questions in the story but in my head canon, I feel like portkeys can take you anywhere but you've to get them approved by the ministry and depending on the distance you want to cover, the ministry will assign you a suitable one. And I guess the farther you want to go, the more you've to pay. But that's just all in my head xD

Teddy definitely cares for Dom a lot and he wants her to feel completely at ease before expressing his feelings =)

Thank you for your lovely comments. I am pleased you liked it!

 Report Review

Review #6, by The Empress The Surprise

27th January 2014:
Hi! I'm here from review tag :)

Very cute! I love the Teddy/Dom pairing, much better than Teddy/Victoire.

I like how he planned something so special just to ask her out. And you wrote him so well! His stumbling over what he wants to ask her is adorable.
I'd love to see an edited, polished version of this because it is pure, fluffy, wonderfulness :)


Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing =)

I am glad you liked my Teddy/Dom pairing! I have never liked Teddy/Victoire much either!

I love Teddy as a character so I am pleased you liked my portrayal of him and found him adorable.

Yes, I still need to take out time to polish this story but I surely will one day soon =)


 Report Review

Review #7, by daliha The Surprise

22nd January 2014:
I think even if you say it's not up to your usual standard that's it a really sweet one-shot. I loved the chemistry between Teddy and Dominique. I usually don't see Dominique and Teddy together but I like the way you set this up :)

Author's Response: I am glad you liked the one-shot and the chemistry between Teddy and Dom even though they're not your usual cup of tea. Thanks =)

 Report Review

Review #8, by 800 words of heaven The Surprise

12th January 2014:
Your not-so-secret Secret Santa is back again to shower you with belated Christmas cheer!

So. Fluffy. How could I not love it? I'm a hardcore Teddy/Victoire shipper but this was so delightful! And wowee! Teddy is one romantic dude, taking her to MALAYSIA FOR A PICNIC UM WHERE CAN I GET A TEDDY PLEASE?

I love how their friendship was so solid, but there was that tension right from the beginning of the story. I was feeling all giddy and excited along with Dominique! It made that kiss (more of a snog session, really) at the end all the better for the agonising wait. And way to go Teddy for working up the courage! I didn't think he'd do it, but then again, he does take her to MALAYSIA FOR A PICNIC (still not over that).

I also really adored your description here. Part of the reason why I'm not over MALAYSIA FOR A PICNIC is the wonderful description. You created such a beautiful scene, not only by describing what it looks like, but also what it sounds like. I often forget that we have more than one sense when it comes to description, so I thank you for reminding me!

Obviously, I thought this was awesome! I'd love to read it once you've had the chance to edit it to your satisfaction. I'm a little curious to see what you'd change to make it even better!

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you once again! *hugs her Santa*

Haha again this is not really my usual kind of writing so it's awesome to hear such great comments. Teddy is amazing yes, and well, he makes me wish my boyfriend could be like him too so I don't blame you for not getting over the "taking Dom to Malaysia for a picnic" part xD

I am pleased that you enjoyed the friendship that the two shared as well as that you could read the tension and feel all the emotions Dom was experiencing. I am never too sure about snog sessions so I am glad you found it worth the wait haha. Teddy totally rocks xD

I am so happy you liked my description of the place. I have actually been to the island I described and I struggled really hard to translate its beauty into words so it's great to know that it worked. I enjoy making use of both sounds and sight when describing a setting so thank you =)

I have actually received so many positive reviews on this just the way it is, I may or may not change it. I will of course do a polishing but not sure if there'll be any major changes. Anyhow, I am really really happy that you liked this. Your review totally made my day (and I am not just saying it) so thank you =)

 Report Review

Review #9, by Illuminate The Surprise

12th October 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a really cute oneshot! Teddy and Dominique are a really cute couple, especially in this story! Usually fluff isn't really my bag, I have to be in a certain mood for it, but this isn't so fluffy that it gives me a cavity xD It's just adorable, and it feels like a new beginning with the pair of them.

I also like that it references Teddy's past relationship with Victoire- it keeps the story in canon, which is one of the top priorities for me in a non-AU story xD

I think I may have seen a few missing commas here and there which made some sentences feel out-of-breath, but other than that it was fine grammar wise :)

Good job!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

I am glad you liked this oneshot and enjoyed Teddy/Dominique. Fluff is usually not my thing either but when the plot bunny hit me I didn't have a choice xP I am pleased you found it adorable as that was my intention.

Yeah, I tried to keep it as canon as possible, and let's face it, not all high school relationships work out, and so it didn't for Teddy/Vic either.

I'll do a re-read and try to spot the missing commas. Thanks!

 Report Review

Review #10, by charlottetrips The Surprise

26th September 2013:
I started reading this totally not realizing it was about Dominique and Teddy, not Victoire and Teddy. It was good that you brought me up to speed on that in the beginning. I have to admit the "friends to more" trope is one of my favorites and one that I'll read every time. I only increased my pleasure at reading this cute one shot.

I like that in just one little one shot you gave a history of how they became friends and how they've held off on going further than that. You somehow managed to convey the viewpoints of two people in this. Now, as a warning, that can sometimes get distracting, but it worked out fine here.

There was some formal feeling to their words with each other sometimes, like when you didn't use contractions in their speech, but otherwise you were able to convey a comfortable friendship. This was especially obvious following the start of the picnic.

Teddy was so sweet in this. I loved how he went through so much effort to communicate his evolving of feelings for Dom. I get that it was partly to "get her in the mood" but I also see that it was mostly for her, getting her away from the stress of life, etc.

Very sweet overall!


Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Haha I am glad the beginning got you cleared up on the pairing. I love "friends to more" too so I am pleased you liked it.

Yeah I know it can get confusing and distracting with two viewpoints but it's a relief to know it worked okay.

I need to brush up on my dialogue yeah, i'll look into it =) Thanks for the tip.

Yeah, Teddy is a sweet darling. I wish he was real xP

Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #11, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing The Surprise

7th September 2013:
Hiya - I thought I'd stop by your page from the review tag and when I realised I'd not reviewed your HC entry I couldn't help but stop by :)

Okay first things first. I don't ship Teddy and Dom. I'm totally a Teddy Vic shipper and generally something like this wouldn't be my cup of tea. However - I really loved it! I actually found myself wanting them to get together at the end. That my dear is very impressive on your part - you've really written the build up to this relationship well or I wouldn't have been able to face it!

Your imagery was really well done in this piece - I loved the part where she first found out where they were. The way you described the beach and the sea was lovely. I could really picture it.

Your characterisation was really good too - Teddy's awkwardness and Dom's self conciousness - especially when comparing herself to her sister - really sold it for me. And as I said earlier - the more I read the more I wanted them to get together.

The one bit of CC I may offer is personally I find it a little confusing when we change perspective between Teddy and Dom. I would have liked to see how you dealt with the story from just one o their perspectives - giving us the chance to understand how they're feeling. That's just my opinion though!

I didn't see any spelling or grammar mistakes so well done on amazing editing!

This is such a sweet little one shot and I loved how it played out. You incorperated the theme of travel really well and your descriptions of the place were great - have you been to that beach, or was it just somewhere you imagined? Either way - you shouldn't have been so negative in your AN, this story is great!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi Lauren!

Thank you for reading and reviewing.

It's flattering to know that you're a Teddy/Vic shipper and yet you were rooting for Teddy/Dom by the end of this. I am glad you liked the build up!

I am pleased to hear you liked the imagery and beach descriptions. I tried my best to convey the picture I had in mind!

Yeah, I wrote Teddy and Dominique's characters in a way that would make them fit together so I am glad it worked.

Oh I actually wanted to present both their perspectives but I'll try and see what I can do to make it better =) Thanks for the CC.

No spelling and grammar mistakes? That's a relief xD

Thank you for all your kind words. It's great to know you liked this overall with the theme and descriptions. I have been to the beach I described, yeah =) It's a beautiful place! I am so happy to hear you found the story good. Thanks!

 Report Review

Review #12, by Mnemosyne_Morrigan The Surprise

16th August 2013:
I'm here with your requested review!

Ok, so this one is going to be hard. For me. I'm not subversive for fluff, but I dose it like a medicine - little amounts when needed. And a good fluff for me is cute, but not oversweeted.

Unfortunately, yours was too sweet for me.

I understand that the main aim for writing something like that is to be excessively romantic and loving. It's just not my cup of tea.

Don't worry, I can be fair :) I don't like the sweetness, but it doeasn't mean something was wrong with the story itself. A lovely short piece of delicate blooming feelings. Imagery was really good, almost made me jealous of this beauriful setting. It was perfect for Dominique, it suited her. And gave the unique vibe for the unique circumstance. But I feel that with Teddy being a little awkward and both of them growing up in "humble" areas, the perfect spot for them wouldn't be so upscale.

The portrayal is quite good, especially considering it's a short piece. Both Teddy and Dominique had a spark, it's good that you didn't make them flawless or bland. It balanced everything. The moment was perfect, but the characters were not.

Overall, good and sweet :)

- Mnemosyne

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me especially since you are not much into fluff and this didn't suit your style.

I am pleased you liked the imagery, and that you felt it suited Dominique. I wanted the spot for both of them to be something very unique and different from their everyday life, thus my choice of location.

I tried not to make them flawless or bland so I am happy you liked the balance. Thank you so much for your kind words.

 Report Review

Review #13, by academica The Surprise

15th August 2013:
Hi Angie, here with your requested review!

Before I get started with your areas of concern, I have to address one of my top pet peeves--don't doubt yourself in your author's note! Nothing dampens the joy of finding a good story to read like seeing an author demonstrate a lack of confidence when you get to the end for a review. It's great to ask for feedback and express your openness to reviewers' suggestions, but don't be afraid to own the work you post and be proud of it.

You said fluff was out of your comfort zone, but I didn't pick that up here. I thought you did a great job exploring a sweet moment between Teddy and Dominique right at the beginning of their relationship. I liked their characterization a lot, too. It was nice how Teddy was sort of awkward, because that reminded me a little of his parents, and I also liked how Dominique felt insecure about possibly being compared to her sister and found it hard to believe that Teddy would be interested in her.

You did a nice job of using imagery effectively, such that I could easily visualize the beautiful setting for the picnic but didn't feel that the pace of the story was interrupted by your descriptions. The dialogue was also good for the most part; I see that you've taken my suggestion of using contractions more and making the speech less formal. I spotted a few areas where you could do that more here, but I also think it's totally fine to have a mix of more casual and more formal dialogue. This story sounded very natural to me.

Great work! I hope this review is helpful :)


Author's Response: Hey Academica! As always your reviews are very helpful, so thank you.

Ah, I always love how you comment on my author's note along with the story, thank you. Yeah well, I am not very confident as a writer and I tend to show that in my A/Ns. Nonetheless, I'll keep your advice in mind and try not to show my insecurity in my author's note. I'll go back and edit it, thanks =)

I thought I went a bit overboard with the fluff, it not being in my comfort zone, so it's a relief to hear you say that you think I did okay. I am pleased you liked how I explored this moment in their life and that you liked the characterisation as well. Yeah, I wanted to show a bit of Remus and Tonks in Teddy and I am glad you picked that up in him here. I am happy you liked the way I showed Dom as well.

I was afraid I should have included a bit more imagery but your words have put me at ease. Yeah, I am not very good with dialogue but I did try to make it as less formal as I could. I am so, so, happy to hear that you found this story natural, especially since you are such an amazing writer yourself and it's a huge thing coming from you. I'll try to work more on the dialogue and definitely edit my author's note.

Thank you so much!

 Report Review

Review #14, by Lady of Tears The Surprise

14th August 2013:
I'm here with your requested review!

My my, what a sweet story! I really enjoyed what you did here. :) It put a smile on my face, and was just refreshing.

The things that I enjoyed most were the dialogue and overall plot. It flowed nicely, there was good interaction between the characters, and it was something with a little sparkle.

I did want to know, why Malaysia?

Which brings me to the biggest detractor for me: we weren't in someone's head exclusively. While there were benefits to seeing both Dominique and Teddy's perspectives, it also made things more general. I think if you'd stuck inside one of the other, you could have really delved into what they were experiencing. When I do that, it really helps my ability to describe things.

Also, I just had a question about the magic. You can't transfigure food, so I wanted a bit more about if he'd set it up or not. But that's a really nit-picky detail. :)

I thought, overall, this was a fun and well-written piece. Everything about it was very real and lovely! Thanks for requesting!

-Lady of Tears

Author's Response: hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing.

I am pleased you found this sweet and enjoyed it, and that it was refreshing for you.

I am not very good at dialogue so it's such a relief to hear that you enjoyed it along with the overall plot. A little sparkle? I like that, haha. Thanks.

Well, Malaysia is where I am currently staying and I have been to a similar island so I picked that place xP

Yeah I am not very good at writing first person, and I wanted to show both sides of the story, thus chose to write it this way, making it more general. I prefer it this way, though I'd definitely take your comments into consideration when I do an edit and see if delving into Dom's head (or Teddy's) exclusively can work for me.

Oh right, I didn't have him conjure it, I wanted him to have already kept it in a basket or something on the island and just set it up with magic at the right moment. Perhaps, I'll include the small details about that when I edit. Thanks for the suggestions.

I am pleased you liked this overall, thanks.

 Report Review

Review #15, by LittleLionGirl The Surprise

13th August 2013:
My goodness. I read on the forums English is not your native language. That can't be possible! This story is too flawless. I could not find a thing wrong with it grammatically. I loved the fluffy scene. It was perfect for the HC my fellow snake. Dom and Teddy seems to be a rare pair to come by and I certainly enjoyed it. Keep writing awesome stories like this :)

Author's Response: hey! thanks a ton for reading and reviewing!

The story is flawless? Haha thank you so much for the compliment. I am pleased you enjoyed the fluffy scene and found it perfect for the HC. Dom and Teddy are a rare pair which is why I love writing them. Thank you so much for your lovely review!

 Report Review

Review #16, by Siriusly89 The Surprise

12th August 2013:
Hi! Siriusly89 from the Review Thread thingy. Said Iíd review the last thing you posted, so here I would be ;)

Ah, itís a Dom/Teddy! I like this, I feel Teddy gets fobbed off with Victoire way too much, just because they may or may not have been dating when they were eighteen and seventeen respectively, does not mean they instantly get married and skip off into sunsets Ďla-di-dahí.

Sorry-err, lets get back to the review, shall we?

Awy, they became friends after he broke up with Victoire, I like it. And Iím sorry, but when someone blindfolds you, even when they are your best-mate-forever, you do start to get a little suspicious. Either heís going to ask her to go out with him, or heís going to, I donít know, mug her or something.

Dom! Never give up hope. All this rubbish about him Ďnot liking youí. Number one, its fan fiction, where everything and anything is possible, and number two, the guy obviously likes you to some degree, he wouldnít organise nice surprises every now and then if he hated you, now would he?

AHHHMEEEGAWWWD! He took her to Malaysia? Oh wow! Iím actually very jealous. Your Teddy is so nice! I too have a ĎTeddyí and he isnít near as nice as this. Makes me feel like he needs some character development. Or I could just steal yours for a while! But anyway, he took her to a beach. A beach in Malaysia. I am flailing so much right now. *Flail*

I love it, he canít find the words to ask her out, so he just snogs her. Iím laughing, but it just makes sense, you know? Doms a lucky girl! And this was just one of the cutsey-ist one-shots Iíve read in so long, and thank you so much for writing it!


Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing =)

Yeah Teddy gets paired with Dom too often, which is why I enjoy writing Dom/Teddy so much. They've recently grown to become my OTP!

Haha mug her? I am pretty sure Teddy would never dream of mugging Dom, lol. And btw, I am glad you liked the way I made them friends.

Indeed, Dom is silly that way, she can't imagine Teddy liking her back xP

Haha my Teddy is nice, he's my dream guy xD Haha feel free to steal mine xP *catches you and gives you a hug*

I am pleased this story made you laugh and smile and you found it cute and you enjoyed it so much. Thank you so much for leaving such a lovely review, it totally made my day!

 Report Review

Review #17, by Beeezie The Surprise

13th July 2013:
This was really cute! I usually don't like Teddy/Dominique stories, but you did a really nice job with this.

I think what I liked most is that you gave a clear progression of events that led from his presumed relationship with Victoire in the epilogue to him starting a relationship with Dominique in this. There wasn't a melodramatic element to at all, both because Victoire broke up with him and because it happened such a long time ago, and I liked the way you mentioned that his friendship with Dominique had built up over time before he developed feelings for her.

My only major complaint was with the travel itself. The process of getting to the island was great - I loved the back and forth between Teddy and Dominique, as well as how much she clearly hated having her eyes covered. However, once they got there, it felt a bit anticlimactic in terms of the destination (though not, obviously, the plot - what happened between the two of them there was absolutely adorable).

I mean, you did describe the scenery when they first arrived, but after that you didn't really go into detail about their surroundings again (other than mentioning the sand at one point), and, especially since the prompt was about travel, I would have liked to see a little more of that. Not much, because you do have a fair amount of it already - just a bit, you know?

Other than that, though, this was a lovely little fic, and I really enjoyed it! :) Great job!

House Cup 2013 - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing. I am glad you found this cute even though you're not into Teddy/Dominique.

I am pleased you liked my not including any melodramatic element between Teddy/Dom/Vic. I just wanted to keep this drama-free, and figured if Vic & Teddy broke up years ago, it wouldn't be so weird if Teddy & Dom got together now. I am glad you liked the way I showed things.

I am pleased you liked the process of getting to the island. I am sorry if it wasn't anticlimactic for you as I was focusing more on the moment between the two rather than the place but maybe when I edit I can include more description and stuff and try to make the place more important as well.

Thanks a lot for all your comments and suggestions. I'll surely consider them. Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #18, by nott theodore The Surprise

13th July 2013:
Hello! I'm here reviewing for Gryffindor in the house cup :)

First of all, when I saw this was a Teddy/Dominique story and written by you, I had to read it. I'm enjoying The Worst so much and it's great to see the same couple in another story! It's definitely a good one-shot!

This was so sweet and fluffy and cute, and I really enjoyed reading it! You're slowly converting me into a Teddy/Dom shipper rather than a Teddy/Vic shipper! I love their personalities and your characterisation of them. Their conversation and all the dialogue is very believable, and they seem like real people who could just jump off the screen and wander into real life, and you wouldn't think that they weren't at all normal.

There was some great description as you described the island in Malaysia. It's so interesting to see all of the different destinations that people come up with for this travel theme, and I love picturing the different countries - the only drawback with your brilliant description here was that I was very jealous that I wasn't there!

Teddy and Dom are such an adorable couple and I loved reading this - I have no CC at all for you! I'm going to keep this moment in mind when I'm reading The Worst again!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Its great to hear that you're enjoying The Worst and you wanted to check this out too since it's about Teddy/Dominique. I am glad that you found this good (even though I didn't haha).

I am pleased you enjoyed this and liked its cuteness. Haha I am happy to hear that you are turning into a Teddy/Dom shipper and that you are liking the way I am characterising them. It's such a relief to hear that you think all the dialogue is believable as I felt it was too cheesy. Jump off screen and wander into real life really? haha. It's such a pleasure to hear (or rather read) all your lovely words!

I have been to the island in Malaysia I was describing so I was trying my best to bring out its beauty through my descriptions, glad to hear they worked for you! Haha maybe one day you could visit xD

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Your review has made me very happy. I'll try to update The Worst as soon as I can =)

 Report Review

Review #19, by AC_rules The Surprise

13th July 2013:
Hi there adluvshp!

I don't think this is 'not a very good one-shot' at all. I actually thought this was really quite nice. I know you know quite a lot about the place that you've set this in, and the idea of such a sweet lovely scene between Dom and Teddy is a real break from all the drama that seems to be inflicted upon them from the rest of the fandom.

It was actually really cute and I was definitely routing for them. And I think Dom's sister would be able to appreciate the cuteness of it for them too, so it feels to me like that drama would stay away which was lovely.

Didn't spot many mistakes and it was a really sweet story.

Nice entry!


Author's Response: Hey Helen! (It's me Aditi btw haha, we haven't talked on skype in forever but I hope you remember - that is not meant to sound creepy btw) xP

I am glad you thought this was nice. Yes, I've been to the place I talked about here and hoped that it would make it all the more believable haha. I am pleased you liked the sweet scene between them, yeah I wanted to give them a break from the drama too.

I am glad you found this cute and that you were routing for them. Vic should definitely be able to appreciate them.

Thank you for your lovely review!

 Report Review

Review #20, by Roots in Water The Surprise

13th July 2013:
Hello there!

You know, even though I don't usually read Next Gen, I still hear things about the cliches of this time period and I was very glad that you had not gone for the more typical version of the Dominque/Teddy/Victoire love triangle.

I really liked how you wrote this piece because it was easy to sense that the friendship, the relationship, between Dominque and Teddy had grown and deepened over the past few years. It wasn't under the shadows of Victoire and her relationship with Teddy. Instead, it was something of its own and the feelings they have for each other seemed more real because of this. Victoire won't have much to complain about because not only was she the one to break up with Teddy but it's been several years since they were a couple.

Their relationship seemed very cute and fun. It was very interesting to learn that Teddy liked to take Dominique on "surprises" all the time and I liked how he continued with the tradition to ask a very important question. My one (silly) concern is this: if Dominique had not returned his affections, the Portkey back home would have been very awkward, because that would have been their only way back home. They would not have been able to avoid each other immediately after the problem arose in his declaration of his affections. But luckily that didn't turn out to be a problem. :)

In fact, I liked how you made it clearer that this wouldn't be a problem with your hints of both of their feelings before the big revelation. They definitely helped in making the end of the story more enjoyable and more believable.

All in all, this was a cute one-shot. It's kind of funny that Dominique would be okay with him just watching her as she read - I would have found that awkward myself. :P Good work! :D

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

I am glad that you found my Dom/Teddy away from cliche.

I am pleased you could feel the relationship between Dom/Teddy. Yes, Vic can't have much to complain =)

Its good to know that you liked the little things in the story like Teddy continuing with the surprise tradition to ask her out. It was a cute thing in my mind so glad it paid off =) Haha yes the portkey back home would have been awkward though in my defines I think Teddy kind of sensed that Dom had feelings for him and then made his move xP

I wanted to show that they both felt the same before they moved on to the big step, haha. Glad it helped it make believable and enjoyable for you.

Haha my boyfriend loves watching me read and somehow I don't mind so I put that bit of me in Dominique too. Glad you liked this, thank you!

 Report Review

Review #21, by maskedmuggle The Surprise

13th July 2013:

I thought this was a really fluffy and happy story! I really enjoyed reading this, and I think it definitely captures the romantic ideal and the magical moment when you realise that the guy you like likes you back! I was about to say that the way you were writing Dominique and Teddy - I was surprised that they had managed to just be best friends, but it's nice to see Teddy having the guts to express it. I think the idea of dating your ex's younger sister is a bit weird, but who cares - the Dom and Teddy here are so sweet together!

I loved the idea of the random surprise picnic all the way to Malaysia, and the beautiful setting Teddy took Dominique to. A nicely written story that made me smile! :)

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2013 Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

I am glad you found this a fluffy and happy story, and you enjoyed it. I am pleased you liked my Dom/Teddy as I enjoyed writing them. It is a bit weird but yeah who cares haha.

Aw your review definitely made me smile. Thank you, glad you liked it.

 Report Review

Review #22, by marauderfan The Surprise

13th July 2013:
Here for HC reviewing! I really like this. It was fluffy but not overly so. I like that Teddy wanted to keep the picnic/travelling halfway across the world all a surprise, and Dom was stressed about work haha. And the beach sounds absolutely lovely, your descriptions of it were wonderful.

As for Teddy/Dominique - this seems like a prequel of sorts to "The Worst", so I liked seeing the back story there! This was a cute one shot, nice job!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing. I am glad you enjoyed the fluffiness and didn't find it overdone. I am happy you liked the little details about Teddy and Dom. Haha it is something like a companion piece to The Worst, in another happier universe. I am glad you enjoyed this!

 Report Review

Review #23, by MrsJaydeMalfoy The Surprise

13th July 2013:
Aww!! I really like this! How can you think this isn't a good one-shot?!? It's great!

First of all, it's original. Because in Almost every next-gen story I read, it's always Teddy/Vic, Teddy/Vic. Not that there's anything wrong with Teddy/Vic; I actually quite like the ship. But it's refreshing and different to read about Teddy with someone else!

On that note, I'm not sure how Vic will feel when she finds out her sister is dating her ex, but hey, that's her loss, right? That's what she gets for breaking up with him! :P

I thought it was very romantic of Teddy to take Dom somewhere special, just to ask her out. That says a lot about how he feels for her, and it was so adorable! I think they make a really cute couple, the way you've written them here!

The description was also great. The way you painted a picture of Dom's heels sinking into the sand and the smell of salt really made me feel as though I were there on the beach watching things unfold, instead of reading about it. Great job with that, too!

All in all, this is a LOVELY one-shot, dear! Great job!

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for your LOVELY review!

I am glad you think it's a good one-shot, though its far from what I usually write xP

It's good to hear you found this original as I strive towards originality in my writing. Teddy/Dom are my OTP so I am happy you found this refreshing.

Vic will feel just fine about it, it's been some time after all, haha.

I am glad you thought it to be romantic, and adorable. They do make a cute couple in my mind so it's good to know that came through.

I am pleased you liked the description, and could feel the beach. Thanks a ton!

 Report Review

Review #24, by LilyEPotter The Surprise

13th July 2013:
Hi! Here for the House Cup review!

This story is very sweet. Especially towards the end when Teddy's asking Dominique to be his girlfriend. Your description of the island is vibrant as well as your description of Dominique as she relaxes and reads a book.

Great story!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing. I am glad you found it sweet, and liked the end. I wondered if it was a little too fluffy xP I am pleased you liked my island description, and the description of Dominique. Thanks!

 Report Review

Review #25, by DracoFerret11 The Surprise

12th July 2013:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from Ravenclaw on the forums here to review for you for the House Cup 2013! :D So, let's go over things:

Characterization: So, Teddy and Dominique! I've never really read any stories about them, but this was really sweet and I think you captured both of their personalities really well. I have an oddly similar Teddy/Victoire story with a picnic. ;) I liked that Teddy was so secretive and cute about his plan. And I think Dom was really sweet, although I do wonder what she was stressed about.

Descriptions: I loved your descriptions of the island! It sounds glorious (haha, that's the title of my Teddy/Victoire story!). Really good job. I was surprised to hear that Teddy chose dark hair and eyes and that Dom was a redhead, but I really liked that. Good job.

Emotions: I think I might have liked to see more about how the two of them were feeling during the story. I know she liked him and was awed at the island, but I'd like to SEE that somehow...if that makes sense.

Plot: This was really cute! Yay for fluff. ;) I'm quite fond of best-friend turned boyfriend/girlfriend stories since that's how my boyfriend and I ended up together, so this was really sweet to read. I really liked it. Good job!

Interactions: I liked that Dom wasn't originally all cutesy with Teddy. It was nice that she was kind of annoyed with him for taking her away from her work. It was refreshing since I think any more fluff would have sent it over the edge into annoying-territory. ;)

Overall, this was really cute and sweet and I think you did a great job! I hope you have a wonderful night and good luck with the House Cup!


Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing.

I am glad you liked Teddy and Dominique's personality. Haha, then I'll have to check your story out sometime xP I am pleased you liked Teddy's plan and Dom.

Actually, I've been to such an island and it is pretty divine so I am glad it came through the descriptions. I always imagined my version of Dom to be a redhead and Teddy to be dark haired and black eyed so yeah xD

Ah, the part about the emotions totally makes sense yeah. I wrote this in a kind of rushed manner, so I'll definitely work on that when I edit. Thank you for the CC.

Haha I am not much of fluff writer but I tried my best so glad you liked all the cute stuff. I love the whole bestfriend turned boyfriend/girlfriend thing too!

It's a relief that you didn't already find it in annoying territory. I wanted to include some believability and Dom's irritation was my best shot xP

I am happy you liked this overall. Thanks.

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login