Reading Reviews for Clash
  
290 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Roisin Rattle

18th December 2014:
SWAP!

Woah, it's so weird going back and reading the older chapters!

The first paragraph has a really good example about what I love about your Omniscient Narrator--the easy toggle between formal and informal language, and the kind of dry humor that affords.

And hah, that you use the word 'breakfasted' during Scorpius' POV with Zabini. It fit the context so well! Using the name of a meal or a season as a verb is the poshest possible thing :)

Otherwise, it's so crazy reading about Scorpius and Albus back at Hogwarts! SO MUCH HAS CHANGED.

I'm also really noticing how much Scorpius has changed--he was a lot more polished at this point in the story. Which makes sense, since he was never *really* as composed as Albus (and he's also not a sociopath), so it follows that his veneer would crack once things got so much more serious and so much darker. (And actually, thinking about it, Albus is more polished too, because he still has to interact with normal people. Later on, he's so far detached from the real world, and never really talks to anyone except Scorpius and Rose, so he definitely exercises less charm).

Oh gosh, that bit with the Unicorn Blood! That's one of the standout moments in this whole story--it's written in a crazily chilling way.

And then this: 'heart-stopping smile of hisó because Legilimency only worked through close contact.' And then later: 'drinks arrived via waitress.' I love the way you do Albus' POVs, with these sort of harsh juxtapositions and cold detachment (which also affords some nice humor sometimes!)

And oh man, the line "it'll break your heart... you'll hate me" followed by "neither of those things are possible" is such a brilliant distillation of Albus!

I'm definitely gonna have to reread this whole story at some point (like, right before the very last chapter comes out).

Anyway, I'm sorry if this review is kind of lacking, or not very interesting or in depth! This is a particularly good chapter, and I just kind of got into it :/

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Review #2, by RHrH Descend

18th December 2014:
Hey after reading all those cheesy next gen fics clash certainly stands out for me.Awesome work.Just have few questions though
1.Were the events in wizarding england same before rose's resurrection ? I mean the gruesome stuff and all..just rose's resurrection cannot be the reason for quarantine is it ? Or the current situation of the wizarding world has something to do with disappearance of golden trio ?? Are all those events linked ?

2.Am a big fanatic of golden trio,I simply adore their friendship and loyalty,so will we get any golden trio adventures in your future chapters ? I believe their journey was together until the graveyard so will we have their scenes ??Are they in all of this whatever harry is up to together ?

Would love to know answers for these questions.

Cheers

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Review #3, by Romione4ever Descend

7th December 2014:
Hi shez :) Clash is the best fan fiction I have ever read.I really like how your story deals magic as a form of science.It makes it more believable and logical.Scorp is by far my favorite character,I couldn't help but find a strong resemblance to Ron.His ability to lighten up situations between Al and Rose with is stupid but adorable comments is wonderful.
I was wondering if you still have those plans of writing the other fic in the their 4th year from scorp's POV ? It would be great to read a much lighter and humorous prequel to clash since clash is more dark.

Looking forward for the next chapter.

:)

Author's Response: Hey there! Glad you're enjoying! And I'm laughing thinking how Ron would feel about that comparison.

As for that other fic, I have scenes written, but if I can get a significant amount written over break, I'll start uploading it. I won't be a /comedy/ exactly; it will still have some of the same darkish elements. It centers on young Al and Scorp adventures.

Thank you for the support! I'll see if I can get something written soon!


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Review #4, by MargaretLane Rattle

29th November 2014:
Poor Rose. Now on top of dealing with her parents' deaths, abuse from her boss and colleagues and the knowledge she has no control over her life, she also has to deal with the guilt of what is happening in the world outside. It's far too much for a teenage girl.

I wonder what Albus did to get Hogwarts shut down.

I presume you meant "Zabini" when you wrote "Zabani".

I wonder what the crisis is. Just the fact that people now know there's a way to bring their relatives back from the dead, but can't get it. I can see that being upsetting and causing conflict, but it doesn't seem like enough to cause everything that's going on here. Them mobbing her, POSSIBLY, depending on who was around, but something strange had happened to Diagon Alley before she arrived.

Oooh, that reference to Albus's poisonous smile is kind of creepy.

When Albus says, "thank you, Professor," "Professor" should probably have a capital "p", as he's using it as a title.

You've kind of reversed the normal interpretations of the Potter boys in this. Normally James is the troublemaker and Albus the reliable one, but here, Albus is a cruel bully and James is head boy.

Unicorn blood. Uh oh.

And all Albus can see is exploitation when it comes to somebody caring about somebody else. Partnership or exploitation seem to be all the human relations he can understand. He doesn't seem to even consider the possibility of wanting somebody to care about you, wanting friendship. And considering everything Rose is going through, I reckon she needs somebody who cares about her.

"'You're completely heartless,' she whispered," should have a comma after "heartless" and a small "s" on "whispered," but you've put a full stop there and given it a capital "s".

Whatever this price is, it must be extremely serious. But I don't think Albus would hate her. I don't think moral judgement is exactly his thing.

And now I'm wondering why he wants to bring Harry back when it seems like they were far from close. Is it to help his family or because he feels there is unfinished business between him and his father? Or does he care about his father more than he admits? There's clearly a very complex relationship there, but exactly what it is, I'm not sure.

I'm not sure what I think of Albus. At times, he sounds like a textbook sociopath - incapable of caring about anybody else or even of understanding the whole idea of one person caring for another - but there are certain hints, such as his nightmares or his memories of his relationship with his father, that it might not be as simple as that. I DON'T think his coldness is a defense mechanism. I do believe he genuinely feels little or no empathy, but I'm not sure there aren't reasons for it in his background. And I'm not yet sure whether he is more to be pitied or blamed. Certainly, he appears to be a very dangerous person.

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Review #5, by MargaretLane Jolt

29th November 2014:
She will tolerate abuse and bullying?! This is SO cruel.

I really like the debate as to whether or not Scorpius WAS the war. People LOVE to find a villain, to make somebody out to be the good guy and somebody out to be the bad guy, and maybe it's sometimes true, like Voldemort being the cause of the war in Deathly Hallows, but even there he was playing on CENTURIES of pureblood prejudice.

And now you've made me wonder exactly what part Scorpius will play in this whole thing. I assumed it would be Albus, or possibly Rose, who would set things in train, but it looks as if Scorpius will play a bigger part than I'd thought.

And I feel so sorry for Rose. She has so little choice here. I mean, her original choice was do whatever it was she did or watch her brother die and now her choice is do whatever this guy says or go to Azkaban.

And what Scorpius is doing to her now is cruel. I don't know what his intent is, but he must realise he is likely to get her in serious trouble and that serious trouble with the man who alone stands between her and Azkaban is nothing to be played with.

After "it's four in the morning," you've put a full stop and a capital "s" on "She said icily." As it's all one sentence, there should be a comma, not a full stop, and the "s" should be a small one.

I'm slightly amused at the comment that Albus was always lying. He really is an intriguing character. I'd like to know what made him the person he has become. I'm sure it'll all become clear eventually.

And Scorpius DOES seem to care about Rose and yet he is willing to risk getting her sent to Azkaban.

It seems as if Harry has treated Albus very differently than he treated James or Lily. I wonder why that is. I could understand if he'd treated James more harshly, being the oldest. It seems stranger to treat the middle child differently, but I'm guessing there's some specific reason.

And hmm, it has now become clear Albus isn't as tough and emotionless as he lets on. He's really having a pretty tough time too. I wonder what's behind it all. I mean, obvious his father dying, his mother turning to drink, his aunt and uncle dying and his cousin narrowly escaping Azkaban is enough to traumatise anybody, but it seems like his problems began before all that. I wonder if they connect in some way to the deaths of his father, uncle and aunt. I don't see how they can, but Harry must have some reason for treating Albus as he did.

It seems to me like the Head is up to something VERY dodgy. Something like overthrowing the Ministry or something. If he needs to blackmail people into supporting him, it's not good. I'm guessing he'll play a large part in the path to war.

And YIKES, he was widowed young. A lot of people seem to be dying VERY young in this story. I wonder if that is just for plot reasons - that you need them out of the picture - or if there's something more to it. At 32, he could easily just not be married yet if you didn't want a partner.

It seems as if her spell to help Hugo has created major problems in the world. Unless the changes to Diagon Alley are a coincidence, which they might be, but considering the punishment she is getting and the fact that no sympathy is being shown either for her age or the fact she saved somebody's life, I guess there must have been major consequences.

OK, I can see why people'd want her help, but there has to be something more to this.

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Review #6, by MargaretLane Rupture

23rd November 2014:
Hmm, the title of this chapter sounds ominous.

Oooh, there's a nasty side to Albus here.

And I like the rumours you mention some people coming up with about why he seems to want her around. It makes sense people would start rumours about a guy who seems fairly unlikable.

And Slughorn's still at Hogwarts? Admittedly, he is in the first story of my next gen series too.

And I half-laughed at a immortal creature being on the verge of dying out. Very ironic all right.

You've created a pretty savage world here in many ways - magical creatures dying out, Rose's family dying, her imprisonment. Rather different than how the world of the next generation would usually be portrayed.

And gosh, it's hardly surprising things ended for her as they did - losing her parents, her brother dying, living with a family falling apart. Poor, poor Rose.

And poor Lily. I get the impression she's struggling to cope with the loss of a father, her mother's alcoholism and possibly her brother's cruelty. And who could blame her?

That part where Albus asks if she really knows what he's capable of is creepy. I really wonder what made Albus the man he is. His cruelty and lack of empathy is so extreme.

And yet, you then show a degree of softness in how he reacts to Rose and promises not to hurt her.

I wonder what she did that was so bad it could lead to a 15 year old facing time in Azkaban, despite the fact it saved somebody's life. Hmm, from what she's implying to Hugo, it sounds like it could have had some horrific side effects. And I guess that is indicated. The wizarding world may be corrupt, but even Hagrid only got expelled when they thought he KILLED somebody and was only lucky not to have killed many more. I know they thought it was an accident and just Hagrid's love of monsters, but it still indicates a degree of leniency for kids.

Sorry about the delay getting to this, by the way. I was insanely busy for a couple of weeks.

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Review #7, by MsCalypso Explore

23rd November 2014:
Hello, I stumbled upon this gem yesterday by what can only be described as sheer accident. I don't regret it.
This truly is one of the darker stories I've read, with two protagonists with whom you have no choice but to sympathize and dislike at the same time.
I have enjoyed reading it immensly and I sure hope you get the chance to update soon.

While I get that mystery is a big part of the plot, and you do manage to pull it off in quite an extraordinary way, I do hope that we get some more revelations. I suppose they all come at their own pace, but you leave me almost begging for more. Be careful that they don't stump the story. Up until now it has worked though, so I must congratulate you.

While I didn't like Albus much as a character in the beginning, (he felt too much described, not alive, you kept insisting how smart and manipulative he was, but it didn't feel that way) has progressed into that by now. He really does feel like he is thinking on an entirely different level than the rest of the world, with all the following consequences. One can only imagine what he would have been if only Harry didn't have this still mystery plan with his son (I'm really curious and still a bit miffed that I haven't learned more about that yet, but alright)

Rose on the other hand, is a hero in her own right. Very likeable and it's SHE who makes Albus likeable to us, your readers. It's really ingenious and I like it a lot. It has a creepy vibe to it, their relationship. She feels like she is trying to keep her head above water, while doing things that she knows are wrong, but doing them anyways because she must have her answers. If Albus hadn't been around, she would have probably been one the the smartests witches of her generation, just like her mother.

I really do like how you keep jumping between past, present and future. As a reader, you almost forget that you already know that it is going to end badly because of all the mr. Walker parts, yet you wish it wouldn't, when you read all of their adventures. It's a tricky feeling, but I like it. You really are a good writer, pulling this off.

I honestly couldn't stop reading and now that I have reached the end, i'm not sure what I'm going to do with the leftover part of my Sunday.
I'll be waiting for more.
- M

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Review #8, by Ella Descend

19th November 2014:
I am absolutely IN LOVE with your story. The way you portray Albus and Rose's relationship is BRILLIANT. The plot is stunning. The writing riveting. I literally couldn't stop reading. Keep up the awesomeness!

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Review #9, by anon Descend

15th November 2014:
DUDE YOU BETTER UPDATE SOON
YOU BETTER

Author's Response: K I WILL. DUDE

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Review #10, by Kristi Descend

3rd November 2014:
This story is so mind numbingly amazing I don't know how I will make it waiting chapter by chapter.
Please keep going, you are amazing and this story is amazing and I may need a thesaurus to continue telling you how BLOODY FANTASTIC this story is!

Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you so much for those kind words! I will definitely keep going! Next chapter's almost done :)

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Review #11, by fatamorgana Explore

2nd November 2014:
"That's what people do, don't they?" This is so Sherlock, their chemistry is a bit like sherlock's and Watson's only darker, more brutal a bit like a in Hemlock Grove. I love this story so much and I dread what's coming next. And you are genius that's it. And I don't want to read next one because then it means I will have to wait for the update...

Author's Response: Haha yes I can see Albus and Rose as those two, in some alternate parallel England. Though I doubt Albus would be very much interested in /solving/ crime...

You are right to dread what's coming hehe. Don't worry, a new chapter is going to be out shortly so go ahead and read the next one if you want! :)


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Review #12, by Aakanksha Descend

1st November 2014:
Please, please, please update! I am absolutely addicted to this novel. It is the best next gen I've ever read till now. I certainly pray that you get the Dobby's. You definitely deserve it. Please keep writing.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the high praise! The next chapter is coming out soon, don't worry :)

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Review #13, by Kristi Rattle

31st October 2014:
Amazing. So well written.
Love the story line.
Incredible.

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

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Review #14, by The_Crookshanks_Saga Descend

30th October 2014:
Oh my goodness Shez! Update soon, how dare you leave us hanging here!

Author's Response: I will, I will! It's coming soon, I promise :)

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Review #15, by fatamorgana Freeze

27th October 2014:
I am so hooked on this story, just started today (and this is my first review ever!!!) I wanted to mention that just yesterday and today I watched all of The Dark Knight movies, so when I came across this story, it felt like a paralleled extension to it, so dark and ominous, love it! And your quote from The Dark Knight made me squeal and I had to share my emotions here, sorry for the rumbling, I will keep reading on as I love the depth you create to every character and the elaborate story line. Amazing job!

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Review #16, by knottedwool Descend

26th October 2014:
Hey,

I don't normally review on fics because I don't have a HPFF account and I don't actually have much time to write lengthy reviews (haha, says the person who read this while writing her history essay). I do think you deserve way, way more reviews and reads than you're currently getting because as I was catching up with the story - just the level of thought and effort and pure quality of writing that has gone into this is absolutely amazing. Since I'm not writing a review for each chapter and for not reading this fanfic sooner than I could have, I will attempt to write an incredibly long review which hopefully will convey everything I feel about this story.

I pretty much choose the fics that I read from the stated pairings shown and to a slightly larger extent, the summary. I love scorose so,so much and despite the noticeably lack of a romantic relationship between them, I'm not too bothered by it because of the amazing relationship between Albus and Rose and Albus and Scorpius. I really like the way you use other characters rather than just say that Albus and Rose aren't in any sort of romantic relationship and I'm sure everyone prefers their relationship as it is. Their fights and subtle affection adds to the fic, but the way you write their feelings actually try to convey the intricacy of a familial/friendly relationship just shows writing skills. And the fact that Ive enjoyed Albus/Rose parts more than Scorpius/Rose also proves it.

I think part of the reason why I like that relationship more is not just because Rose and Albus play a dominant part in your story line, it's just because Albus is an amazing, amazing character to read about. I'm a bit partial to those twisted, broken, brilliant characters in stories and despite his clear cut cold nature, I could actually see his character development through actions and events in your story. I haven't felt bored whilst reading about him, just his personality and the way he interacts with others, mainly Rose and Scorpius. The reader can definitely feel what those two can, the fact that despite knowing just how he can be, he's unpredictable and ruthless. I also love the level of detail you've managed to capture from the books and use with him and the rest of the characters, the plot line with the Resurrection Stone, Time Turner dust, my favourite is definitely Albus's heron/wandless magic idea, all of it sounds incredibly intelligent and well planned.

I also really, really love the way that despite Albus's superiority complex and his natural brilliance, the other characters aren't left too far on the sidelines. I would have thought since this is fic focuses on Albus and Rose, Scorpius would have definitely been left aside. And even when you have, it's understandable and everything flows at a reasonable pace. Also despite him being much less in loop than the other two, he's not made explicitly into a lackey or a submissive character, or too much so that he's disliked by readers. I really like how you've made Scorpius's character and that he still has a strong voice despite Albus's authority. His interest with Rose and Albus's nature also has kept me on my toes, it's just a blast to read.

The originality of the fic also surprised me. I don't think I've read a Harry Potter portrayed like this, especially in a next gen scorose fan fiction. That's why next gen is a brilliant era to write about, there's nothing that can especially be counted as au. Harry turning out like this is unlikely, but a possibility was always there, and the fact that Albus is the way he is because of a particular backstory makes it more real and believable.

But yes since characters are beginning to run out, I would probably say that I don't think Albus would care that much about Hugo's well being whether he's beaten up or not. He would still go and meet the leader of the Ordine Corvis and I feel as if Rose would have a stronger incentive to maybe even go with him.

Definitely looking forward to the darker chapters in this story, all the plot lines and arcs have been pretty seamless, none have bored or confused me (i'm intrigued by that not human thing which I'm sure has a bigger part in all this later on, possibly with Albus). I've only spotted a couple of typos and insignificant grammar errors. I do have a question though. I was wondering why Albus didn't react very much when Ginny snapped his wand. For someone who prizes magic and holds it in the upmost regard, just the small reaction felt odd to me.

Anyway, I hope you carry on and complete this story, it's been a real joy to read so far and I'll be sure to stick with this and see it to the end (the scorose lover in me just wants to see more of it and see what becomes of them) because writing like this is just needs to be read and appreciated.

Thanks for writing and hope you update soon!

-knottedwool

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Review #17, by hedwig_pie Kill

26th October 2014:
he's a murderer!
im so conflicted right now...

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Review #18, by hedwig_pie Reverse

26th October 2014:
WHAT IS THIS MYSTERIOUS DISSAPEARANCE?! why would the golden trio leave their entire families? oh merlin, this is great. but i really hope you have a good reason for their dissapearance!

Author's Response: There will be! Thanks for reviewing XD

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Review #19, by jfsdfs Sink

25th October 2014:
wow. that was intense. albus is so unlike his father

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Review #20, by hedwig_pie Rupture

25th October 2014:
the head is a bit intense, isn't he? why is he doing this to rose? im so confused, but your writing is so good and the plot is so exciting i have to keep going

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Review #21, by hedwig_pie Him

25th October 2014:
BUT HARRY WOULD NEVER DO THAT IM SO CONFUSED BUT YOU WRITE SO WELL AND I LOVE HOW DRAMATIC AND DIFFERENT THIS STORY IS

Author's Response: THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEW YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE WHAT BECOMES OF HARRY NO PUNCTUATION WHOOHOOO

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Review #22, by Hedwig_pie Her

25th October 2014:
OMG THIS IS WEIRD. BUT GOOD WEIRD. amazing weird. i actually have no idea what is happening and I'm so eager to find out. great first chapter!

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Review #23, by The_Crookshanks_Saga Her

23rd October 2014:
I really love this story so far, and I'm drawing some definite Full-Metal Alchemist vibes :) You really know how to pique someone's interest by giving away just the right amount. On to the next chapter.

-Meena

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Review #24, by Queen of Nerds Descend

22nd October 2014:
I love the twisted psychological element of this story and I think you do a brilliant job writing Albus. Can't wait for more!

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Review #25, by Romoine Descend

22nd October 2014:
Love love your story..you are a brilliant storyteller.Keep up the awesome work and hope we get new chapter soon.
I just want to know whether there would be any romance between Al and Rose ? So far I could understand that Albus is Obsessive about Rose.I love Rose with scorp too but am guiltily shipping Albus and Rose :)

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