Reading Reviews for He's not dead
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by magnolia_magic He's not dead

30th July 2013:
Hi Shaza! This is such a creative idea for a story! That's the great thing about the House Cup; it brings out everyone's originality :) This is definitely one of the more inventive entries I've read, and I'm so glad I did!

I love your Lily, first of all. I love her conviction and determination to find out what really happened with her dad. I was rooting for her, especially since she seemed to be the only one with much hope. It was so interesting to see where her journey took her, and I was glad to see everything work out in the end :)

One thing I would really have liked to see would be a scene between Harry and Lily after his rescue. I think that would have potential to be a really precious father-daughter moment, and I was hoping to see that as part of your ending. But at the same time I like that you ended this with a sense of normalcy, of life going on for the Potter family. You did a good job of showing that they would remain a close, strong family even after their ordeal. Awesome job!

--Maggie

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Review #2, by marauderfan He's not dead

26th July 2013:
Well done on this story! I love the way you've written Lily. She is so convinced that she's right, and that someone has to do something about it so she takes matters into her own hands. She is a lot like her father, in that she is brave and has good instincts... and a tendency for heroics as well ;) But I'm so glad she went looking for him and she turned out to be right.

I also liked your inclusion of Albanian (? I'm assuming that's the language they speak there) It added a very authentic feel - after all she is travelling in another country so everyone doesn't speak English all the time! It made Ardi seem more real.

There were a couple of times when you switched POV - most of the story was in first person, but there were a few places it slipped into third, so if you decide to go back and edit that'd be something to fix.

Over all though, this was great, and I enjoyed reading it! Excellent work :)

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Review #3, by HollyStone73 He's not dead

13th July 2013:
Whew!! I was so worried that Harry was dead that I almost didn't want to finish the story and find out that everyone else was right! LOL! But thank goodness I did! This was very descriptive and very well written! Kept me on the edge of my seat. I don't know if this was what you were going for, but I could not help but wonder if this was were Voldemort had been hiding out when he was recovering? Anyway...I enjoyed this and was super glad that Lily went looking for him! Well done!

Author's Response: Aha, thank you! I'm glad you thought it was descriptive and yes, that was supposed to be referencing Voldermort, you're the first person to pick up on that!

Thank you for the review and I'm glad you enjoyed it!


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Review #4, by ginerva_molly_weasley He's not dead

13th July 2013:
Hey there.

This was another completely different story! I loved the whole aspect of this story with Harry going missing presumed dead and I understood the angst in Lily as she was eager to find her father as she knew he truly wasn't dead. It was her intuition and I really do like this.

One thing I noticed was that you said 'Lilly' rather than 'Lily' which was a little off putting but it is only one letter and can be easily changed.

I also loved the idea that you wrote some in what I presume is German. I love seeing foreign language in a fic and I really think that helped in keeping with the spirit of the house cup. I also think that maybe you could have included more description in here especially description about where she actually landed as I felt it was a little rushed and I didn't really feel as if I knew where I was in the fic.

I also loved the 3 months later section as this helped really bring closure to the end of the story and the whole idea of more travel helped this come to a nice end.

Well done

GinevraMollyPotter
Slytherin

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Review #5, by ScarletEye158 He's not dead

13th July 2013:
Hey there! This was a really cool story :) it had a lot of mystery and suspense to it and I really liked that!

I was really upset at first when everyone thought Harry had died and Lily was the only one who believed he was alive. Either Lily was believing in false hope, or she was right, which couldn't have been easy for anyone in her family to witness. It definitely would suck to be the only one to be super adamant about something and have no one else on your side :(

I'm really glad Lily ran away and went looking for her dad. Even though it was a dangerous thing to do, she felt like she had to prove that he really was alive and she definitely wanted to find her dad! It was a very Gryffindor thing to do and I'm glad she was so brave and found him :)

I really liked your touch with the language from Albania. It made it feel more realistic and having a native around to explain things to Lily was pretty awesome!

Speaking of that, I really thought it was interesting with how you tied together the things that went on with Voldemort. The woods would most definitely seem haunted, and I'm not surprised that the people living in the cabins left... it must've been really creepy!

I'm really glad Lily ended up finding her dad alive and that he was okay! I don't blame Ginny for being all protective and worrying, I would probably do the same thing! This was a really nice one-shot and I enjoyed reading it a lot! Nice job! :)

-Amanda

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