Reading Reviews for Percy's Day Off
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TheGirlWithTheLaughingFace Down to Breakfast

11th August 2013:
Wow I love this. You wrote Percy's personality perfectly and just reading this I can picture it perfectly in my head. Wonderful job! Especially since Percy is such an interesting character to write from. I, myself can never do it because I just can't put myself in that rule are everything mindset (I'm more like the twins were rules are meant to be broken). 10/10

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Review #2, by blackballet Down to Breakfast

4th August 2013:
This was very nice. I think Percy's character was good, but I always thought he was a bit meaner in my head. I think that making Mr. Weasley the "peace-keeper" makes a lot of sense. It was very good! P.S. I entered the same challenge. Good luck to you!

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Review #3, by LilyLou Down to Breakfast

28th July 2013:
LilyLou here!

Thank you so much for writing this one shot for my challenge! It's very much appreciated. It's absolutely amazing, Percy is definitely a difficult character to write!

Keep writing!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Well I hope you enjoyed it because I certainly enjoyed writing it.

Thanks for the R&R

Ken


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Review #4, by starryskies55 Down to Breakfast

14th July 2013:
aw this was cute! A nice insight into Percy's mind, but, having read this, I don't see how he could have left the family later on! If he understood his mother's love so well, how could he do that? You meanie, you!

Anyway. This was quite short, quick read, and a little fluffy which was nice. Grammatically, all present and correct, and I enjoyed the canon bits you slipped in, like the cauldron bottoms. I also especially liked Percy's exasperation with his other siblings- Fred and George being troublemakers, and Ginny and Ron egging them on; adding fuel to the fire is one of my favourite expressions!

I think your characterisation of Percy was really good- he came across as a nice, well meaning person and well developed. Overall, great little one shot!

Also- brilliant ending line!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this kind review, and especially for reading my little story about the Weasleys. I am so glad you enjoyed it, because I loved writing it and it flew onto the page with simple ease. That's the magic of writing stories set around the Weasley clan; they are all so relatable that it makes it kind of effortless in ways.

Thanks again.

Ken


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Review #5, by SereneChaos Down to Breakfast

13th July 2013:
I really liked how you mentioned the stress a bit of too much motherly love can give a person, haha, especially for Percy! The analogy between Charlie might as well be studying the insides of active volcanoes was great! I sort of wish that there had been a little section where Percy actually DOES leave the Burrow to go get some of the things on the shopping list, but I thought this was a nice little glimpse into Weasley life!

Author's Response: I am actually considering adding another chapter of two to this, if the muse strikes. I will let you know if that happens.

Thanks for the R&R

Ken


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Review #6, by HollyStone73 Down to Breakfast

13th July 2013:
Yea! A Percy story! I liked how you portrayed Percy and his need to do well and succeed without making him out to be some kind of delinquent or evil person. You totally captured his ability to rationalize and think things through with him coming off too snooty. Of course you did well with the other Weasley's as well, my favorite was you calling Arthur the peace makes. Kinda sad considering how Percy ends up treating him later on,but good job just the same. Well written and fun to read!

Author's Response: I am very glad you enjoyed it. The Weasleys are fun to write, and their characterizations are just so easy. I think its because most of us know people like them, and JKR really covered her bases on that large and wonderful family.

Thanks for the R&R

Ken


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Review #7, by ShadowRose Down to Breakfast

13th July 2013:
Hello there!

I like that you've focused on Percy here - he's often the least mentioned and least liked of the Weasleys, so stories that focus on him are always interesting. I like that you've added on to his personality here: he's still the pompous character that we know from the series, but you give justification for the way he acts by talking about his drive and goals - it makes him more relatable.

I love the little details you've thrown in about Molly being the protective mother, Arthur trying to maintain peace, and the twins causing trouble, as usual.

Overall, this was a fun little description of Percy and his life, and I really enjoyed reading it!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

Author's Response: This thing was a joy to write because the Weasleys, in my opinion, make the HP world what it is. I always wanted to write something that delved more into Percy, because in the series he is sometimes hard to sympathize with. I hope I pulled it off well, and I am glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks for the R&R

Ken


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Review #8, by Roots in Water Down to Breakfast

13th July 2013:
Hello there!

Oooh- a story about Percy, perhaps the least liked of all the Weasleys. And you managed to capture him in his state before he returned to his family during the Battle of Hogwarts, before there even became a problem with his loyalties during the war.

I think that you did a great job with Percy's characterization in this story. He wasn't just pompous here; instead, you gave him slightly more depth. Percy has goals, ambition, and while he loves his family, he also wants to achieve something more. He's too busy for the few hours that are in the day, but he also understands why his parents (particularly his mother) act the way they do, even if he doesn't like it.

Speaking of which, I also really liked your characterization of the rest of the family. Molly's concern, Arthur's role as the pacifier, Fred and George's antics at the table, and Ginny's ability to find amusement in their antic all fit in very well with the characters we know and love from the books.

You also did a good job of setting the timeframe for this story without outright stating when it took place. The references to reports about cauldron thicknesses and Mr Crouch did a great job of letting the reader know that this takes place in the summer of the "Goblet of Fire".

I noticed one typo as I was reading. When Molly speaks, the phrase "me and your dad" should actually be "your dad and I" (unless you were using the other phrase for effect, of course).

You also did a good job with the flow in this story. Everything went together smoothly and, although Percy is quite the internal narrator, his thoughts didn't slow down the pace of the story.

All in all, I think that you did a good job with this story about Percy's (only) day off. I enjoyed reading it! Good work! :D

Author's Response: Thank you for such a long and insightful review.

Percy is a character that needed further examination, I think, and he was a bit ripe for it. I really wanted to step away from his snooty nature with this piece, and try to show that was a good son before everything went south. He might even have been the best son until his ambitions got the better of him.

I notice you didn't mention Ron's characterization, and that's a minor victory for me. I barely mentioned him on purpose, because I always felt like Ron was the in-between child. Nothing flashy or overly loud for him, and he barely gets noticed in a family where there are much stronger personalities at work. So maybe I got that one right.

The setting was important, because I wanted to catch him at his best. Goblet of Fire was an important part of the story for Percy, because it is his in-between part. In that book he went from being a devoted member of the family to someone who became more devoted to ambition. My sister always said that Percy should have been a Slytherin, but I disagreed. I think the truth about him is revealed when he finally comes back to his family, at the darkest of times.

I am glad you enjoyed it, and I enjoyed getting your review.

Thanks for the R&R

Ken


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Review #9, by ohmymerlin Down to Breakfast

13th July 2013:
Hello!

This was really interesting! I absolutely LOVED the language in this one-shot. I started to mentally write down all the words I was going to commend you for using but then there were too many for my poor, fried brain to remember (I've been doing an essay most of the day D:) haha. :p

I think you've really written the Weasley family well! They're just so believable and I absolutely loved the way you portrayed Molly's worrying over her family. It was extremely canon-like, and it made my heart go all mushy because of how much Molly loves them all. :')

I absolutely loved the last line with Fred just reacting as if Ginny erupting tentacles was a normal occurrence - which in the Weasley household it probably was haha! :p

Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this story! It was written really well, and all the characters were portrayed excellently!

Good job!

- Kayla. :)

Author's Response: I really enjoyed reading your review. It makes my day when someone likes something I wrote.

I had a blast writing this story and it was so fast. There is something about the Weasley clan that makes writing them one of the simplest things to do.I think it's because we all know someone like them. In secret, I think they were JKR's secret weapon, because the HP series wouldn't have been half as interesting, funny or heart-warming without that bunch.

Thanks for the R&R, and I am really glad you enjoyed my little story.

Ken


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Review #10, by ginerva_molly_weasley Down to Breakfast

13th July 2013:
This is one of the different styles of story I've seen with the travel being in the future rather than happening in the story which I do think works quite well.

Percy in himself isn't the most interesting character so I'm glad you've been able to show here that he does ave a little bit of substance and thought and feeling to him. I mean I had never imagined him blowing off reading a report to do some errands... not even for his mother. He does have a caring side to him and you showed that when he was considering his mother's feelings instead of worrying about everything that he needed to get done that day.

I did like that he understood his mothers worry with Bill and Charlie but I think you also showed Percy with his proper behaviour as well. The way you talked about Charlie's work with dragons makes us see that Percy himself had never ever considered working with them which made me smile.

I hope you're continuing this!

GinevraMollyPotter
Slytherin

Author's Response: I must admit that I hadn't given Percy very much thought before I wrote this little piece. Now I see him in a whole new light. I am very glad that you and others have said that I wrote him well.

Bill and Charlie are definitely major influences on Percy, I think. He wants to be the good and respectable child, probably just as much as he wants to be successful at the ministry. Of course later we see make a choice between the two, and it isn't a good one.

Thanks for R&R

Ken


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Review #11, by marauder5 Down to Breakfast

13th July 2013:
Hi! I' here for the House Cup!

Oh my Godness. I love the Weasleys from the bottom of my heart, and I was absolutely thrilled to see that you have captured the essence of them so perfectly in this little glimpse into their lives. I loved this!

The little details you have added make things so believable. For example, everyone refusing to eat anything that Fred and George give them, Percy working on the cauldron thickness (I still think it's such a silly thing, it's hilarious!), and, of course, Mrs Weasley worrying. It was really nice to see Percy trying to understand his mother; I think it showed that he really loves his family as well. Of course, he blamed Fred and George for making her HAVE to worry about her children ;)

Also, I must say: Mr Weasley saying that Percy would get a chance to Apparate in order to convince him to agree to help them.. so perfect! Apparation is a lot like driving for us, and I know I was like that after I got my driver's license. If my parents would ask me to give them a ride or pick them up somewhere, I gladly agreed to it just to get a chance to drive! So yes, I could totally relate to Percy in that situation ;)

This was my favourite quote from your story: "Dragons! He might as well have been studying the inside of active volcanoes; it might have worried her less." Pure brilliance! Very well done on this! :)

Author's Response: I am so glad you enjoyed it, and it's nice to see that someone else has a soft spot for the Weasleys.

I think Percy did understand his parents, because like Ron he was the introspective one in the family (they are both a lot like their dad). I think he always wanted to be a good child and a good example, and his later bad choice stemmed from that, but that's just my opinion.

Apparition is most certainly the wizarding world's version of driving. When I was 16 I would have seen to just about any errands if it meant I would get to drive some.

Thanks for the R&R

Ken


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Review #12, by marauderfan Down to Breakfast

13th July 2013:
I really like Percy as a character, he gets kind of forgotten about considering that all the other Weasleys are much funnier and less stuck-up. So it was nice to read something from his POV, and how he's trying to prove he can Apparate and be an example to his younger siblings. Speaking of which, the last paragraph was so funny. I think that's a hilarious prank and I loved it when Fred nonchalantly asks for the marmalade, haha. Great job on this!

Author's Response: I am glad you enjoyed it, and I appreciate your review

Thanks

Ken


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Review #13, by LilyEPotter Down to Breakfast

12th July 2013:
Hi! Here for the House Cup review!

This is a very nice story about Percy. I really like how it describes his feelings about not being taken seriously at home and his wanting his mother to realize that he was grown-up and could Apparate to different places.

The ending was beyond funny! Poor Ginny ending up as a purple octopus? This would explain why the twins went with Arthur to pick Harry up from Privet Drive.

Great story!

Author's Response: This story was such an unplanned blast, and I loved writing it. I was right in the middle of another story, one that I'm still stuck on, and decided to join the little family challenge. Well I knew that it would touch on Apparation, so I decided to also use it for the travel-themed HC thing.

The result turned out a lot better than I hoped it might. Oh and believe it or not, I got the giggles writing the end of it and had to stop for a bit before I could finish.

Thanks for the R&R

Ken


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Review #14, by nott theodore Down to Breakfast

12th July 2013:
Hello! I'm here reviewing for Gryffindor in the house cup :)

I have a bit of a soft spot for Percy and when I saw the title of this one-shot I was excited to read it. In spite of all the criticism that he gets, I always enjoy reading about him and I like his character. The characterisation of him was brilliant here; you struck the perfect balance between the ambitious, driven young man who feels he has to set his younger siblings a good example and who feels responsible for helping his mother and looking after the family, but also the part of him that gets excited about things other than work, which we only glimpse a couple of times in the books. The mention of cauldron thickness had me laughing!

The Weasleys are such a big family that I always think it must be difficult to write all of them together, but you did a great job. Each of the family members was characterised well and the whole Weasley family scene makes me feel all warm and happy!

The context and background you added into this piece really helped, too. I like the fact that we can place this small moment into the events in the book as if it belonged there and had been there all the time.

The ending had me laughing so much - Fred and George are some of my favourite characters and their trick and everyone's reactions to it kind of captures the Weasleys at their best for me.

The writing in this was great and I didn't spot a single typo. I've really enjoyed reading this one-shot!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review.

I really enjoyed writing this, and it felt like I was getting to know Percy a bit better. The Weasleys are just so ripe with stories that I think we could all write 20 or so without exhausting that font. I really think that they are the real magic in JKR's work, and that without them Harry Potter might have failed miserably.

Your review made me smile, and it is always wonderful when a story you write makes someone else happy. I really think that's why a lot of us do it, and it's good that it succeeded here.

Thanks so much for your R&R

Ken


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Review #15, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Down to Breakfast

12th July 2013:
This was an interesting piece, dear. I haven't read very many stories from Percy's Point-of-view, so this was a pleasant surprise.

I think you captured Percy's work-a-holic-ness perfectly in this. He can't even enjoy a day off because he's too busy trying to work! It must be quite taxing for him!

Percy's understanding and explanation of his mother's worry was well done, also. It's nice to see that, even though he felt it was a hindrance, he also understood and appreciated it.

The Fred and George prank at the end was absolutely my favorite part... it just goes to prove everything Percy had been thinking about those two earlier. I can just see Ginny sitting there with tentacles, laughing. And Fred's smiling face when he asked to pass the marmalade?! Hilarious!

Well done!

Author's Response: I am so glad you enjoyed reading this because I felt the same as I was writing it.

Percy was surprisingly easy to write, and this story came out so quick, with little thought or effort needed. He is actually very interesting, in my opinion, and somewhat deep to consider. I wanted to touch on the goodness of his heart, especially at a time before all of that is put into question.

Thank you kindly for the R&R

Ken


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Review #16, by HeyMrsPotter Down to Breakfast

12th July 2013:
This was just perfect! Everyone was completely as they should be, your characterisation was really excellent. This could have come straight from one of the books; it really was a typical morning at The Burrow. The ending was hilarious too, I can just picture Fred's face asking for the marmalade :')

Thanks for such a lovely read!

Author's Response: I am glad you liked it and thought it was fitting. I put a lot of thought into those characterizations, and I must say that everyone's reviews have made me happy with the result.

The ending is my favorite too.

Thanks for the R&R

Ken


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Review #17, by charlottetrips Down to Breakfast

11th July 2013:
Aw, this is just adorable. I actually really like Percy despite the general flack that he tends to get. He may have been a bit of a not so brilliant person in the books, but I think he made up for it in the end.

Here, his constant worry about his job and his boss and then his sympathizing with his mother is totally the inner monologuing that I would imagine for this serious Weasley amidst these silly Weasleys. There's just a little bit of that stuck-upness but there's a whole lot of that Weasley heart. Even if it's translated in a way that we're not wholly used to from the Weasleys. :-)

And the ending was just perfect for that household. Of course one couldn't have a normal meal with the twins in attendance!

Very cute and yay for submitting a story for the House Cup!! Ravenclaw FTW!

Char

Author's Response: Thank you kindly for the review. This was such a fun story to write. I seriously love anything to do with the Weasley clan.

I am glad you enjoyed it.

Ken


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Review #18, by patronus_charm Down to Breakfast

9th July 2013:
Woo go Ravenclaw!

You set up the Weasley family life really well! Iíve always loved reading those scene whether in fan fiction or the books and I certainly wasnít disappointed here. I think itís the way you got each characterís quirks down really well, which is what brought it to life! Like the comment about cauldron thickness, that had me cracking up!

The way you tied it into apparation was really great too! I loved his thoughts about the three Dís, because it was just so him to think that. I could almost sense the logic and method behind his thoughts and it was really sweet. It also tied in well with the theme of travel given itís a mode of a transport.

I liked the before events of them picking up Harry as it was nice to have it in context. The way you ended it with those innocent grins from Fred and George really was great and it had me chuckling away. Ah, I wish I could attend a Weasley breakfast! ♥

I really loved that one-shot, it was just so bright and cheery and it made me smile so much!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and giving me your kind review. I think its clear in the story just how much I love the Weasleys, or the thought of them at least. I think everyone can relate to at least one of them. If they ever did a tv spinoff of HP world, it should be a Weasley sitcom.

Alas though, it cannot be entered for the house cup. It's just under the word limit by a couple of hundred and I've thought about bulking it up some but I just really can't figure out how to do that; I'm kinda scared of destroying the easy charm that came when I let this story tell itself. I've always been a horrible revisionist as I get a bit too sentimental over every word and thought.

Your comments were uplifting and greatly appreciated.

Ken


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