Reading Reviews for The Tower of Stars
  
20 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Remus Prologue

28th May 2014:
Heya! Perelandra from the forums here!

I have to say this prologue is definitely short but it's very intense! I just wanted to know what was going to happen to Brienne! Was she going to get caught? Who was the "she" that killed her mother...was it Bellatrix? So many questions!

What I like the most out of this is that it feels like a prologue...if that makes sense. This chapter, though short, has a lot of imagery. You're able to paint a picture in the reader's head and make us anxious for your character. So kudos to you for that!

I really liked this because the prologue felt very quick and short...almost as if we were reading a chapter full of adrenaline. I really want to know what happens next! And I just realized that this is a sequel to your other story so I might have to read that first BEFORE continuing to read this. Gah! I'm definitely adding the Joker and Her since I love the twins! And I'll be coming back to continue reading this.


Until next time, Illuminate!

--Rosie

Author's Response: Hi! What a lovely review, thank you very much! If you go over to The Joker and Her I hope you enjoy it xD

I'm glad you thought this was an effective prologue, I really wanted it to be intense and fast-paced :)

Thank you again!


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Review #2, by Marauders map63 Result

24th December 2013:
So good!!! I'm so glad that you are writing a sequel!

Author's Response: :D Thank you very much! Happy holidays!

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Review #3, by SilentConfession Result

22nd December 2013:
Hey Illuminate,

Another big change from the prologue to this one. It makes me antsy to read this though because I know where it will end up. I also like the tie in at the very end and her determination to find out who did this to her mother. She's taking her life into her hands and going with it. We can see by the prologue where that brought her. This really gives the reader massive amounts of anticipation for what's to come and makes every moment seem really important. Or should be important anyway.

I don't necessarily think that more stuff needs to happen, but I think you should be very intentional with your choices of what to include. I think this comes with what I was saying about how every moment seems to matter in a story that starts with the end first and then goes back to the beginning. It makes the moments a lot more important as the reader knows how it's going to turn out. This can be a really lovely plot device, but you also need to watch out with how you include information and how important this information is. I felt like the chapter was a bit long and full of some information that you could have introduced more slowly. I get that you want this to be sort of a stand alone, but, i felt like there was a lot of telling about her friends and describing what her friendship with each of them was like. The most effective way you did that was when she mentioned she wanted to use Fred's favourite swear word. That was really effective and active, but as you continued it got more tell-y and for a first chapter I think there could have been less of that. Let that information come, we don't need to know her relationship with each character right off the bat. It's information overload.

You had some really neat details here. Those awkward moments when the parents get together and you'e sort of quietly sitting there while they chat, but there are others you could talk to... but it's just you don't because either your parents are caught up in conversation or you don't know what to say. That was great between Paul and Brienne. I also really liked the awkwardness between her and George and how her friends think they are together, but Brienne hasn't even heard from George alone (the letter from F&G doesn't really count). It's great to see that they aren't automatically comfortable with one another, but it's still going to take time for them to actually coexist as a couple.

Generally, I think it was a good introduction chapter. You ended on a really good note with the necklace and I was honestly thinking something was going to happen with it. I still don't trust the necklace, i feel like it's going to do something at some point! However, that end bit really helps pull The Joker and this story together as you can see, again, how much Brienne has grown and how she's now ready to fight to find out the truth. It is a good clincher!!

Thanks for requesting me! It's always a joy to read this series!! -zayne

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm glad you like the plot device I used- I will do my best to make that pay off throughout the story.

I agree with you about the recap of her friendships- thanks for letting me know about it, I will go through it and try to cut it down a bit. You're right- it should come more organically.

Her and George's relationship isn't exactly tied up in a neat ribbon just yet xD

I'm glad you liked the ending! I really want this to sort of seem like a new beginning sort of thing, like something's really kicking into gear.

Thank you very much for your lovely review!



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Review #4, by SilentConfession Prologue

14th December 2013:
My days Illuminate!

Of course this works as a prologue! Is this in the future? Does all this happen after the story you're about to tell? Or is this propelling the story into action? Whatever the case, i really like how you've begun this. I think this might be the best you've written so far. What i've liked about following this story is seeing so much growth from you as a writer. I don't mean that in an arrogant way, but you're writing style has changed and shifted throughout this and it's really lovely to see how great you are at wielding your character and setting the tone for your story. You've done a magnificent job with this chapter.

I like the emotion of this, it is really catchy. The adrenaline is so alarming and it makes me worried of how Brienne has gotten into this position and how she's found out that a woman is after her. There are so many questions that you've introduced that it really makes me want to read on to see what will happen next. I think you've done a really fabulous job at creating something to hook your readers in.

I also like how you've ended it. You've given the impression that she is going to sacrifice herself for this boy who has followed her into the woods as she refuses to seen I'm die as well. She doesn't want another casualty. I think that tells a lot about Brienne, her growth, and where she is emotionally and psychologically. She seems strong, her ability to not only run from the captures, but also her willingness to give it all away for someone she cares about. That says a lot about a character.

Definitely not too fast paced. I think it's a perfect pace and flow for what you want. I'm honestly blown away by the beginning and I'm so curious to see how things happen in this story as it seems like the woman is going to be making more concentrated effort on finding and kill Brienne. Which brings the tension up tenfold for the reader as we've all become quite attached to little Brienne.

Really great job for a prologue. Thanks for requesting!

Author's Response: Hi!

This review made me squee out loud! Thank you so much! I was really in the zone while writing this, and I really want to try and keep up a certain tone in this story.

I really don't know what to say! I'm so flattered by everything you've said xD Brienne is certainly just on the beginnings of change and she will grow a lot more over the coming months of her life.

Thank you so much for this fab review!


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Review #5, by milominderbinder Prologue

4th November 2013:
Hiya! Here from review tag :)

So, WOW. I am honestly a little stunned right now so I don't know if this review will be at all cohesive! This was such an intense, intriguing, captivating chapter. Even though it's only a short prologue you've completely caught my attention. It seemed like almost every single line was a blow, totally reflecting the adrenaline Brienne must be feeling, and the scene in general. It's such an action packed beginning! Sometimes, jumping straight into the action can make a story seem a little too confusing or overdramatic, but you've really found the perfect balance here between giving us essential details about the characters while maintaining the mystery and action.

Well done!

~Maia

Author's Response: Hi! Wow, what a lovely review!

Thank you very much for the lovely comments, this made my day xD Thank you!


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Review #6, by toomanycurls Result

8th October 2013:
Hi!! Doing the review tag (and I'm glad you came up again)

I really like that you're building out more of the detail I was asking about in this chapter. I love having the plot present questions to the reader then start to unfold the answers in the subsequent chapters.

You've brilliantly told me that Brienne and Fred are good friends just by saying she used one of his favorite swear words. I think it's great when authors can show a relationship so easily instead of spelling out. You have it there so elegantly.

:-O George and Brienne? That makes me happy (even though I don't know Brienne very well yet). I just don't see a lot of stories that feature George as the romantic lead. Please say it happens in the story!!!

It's quite adorable that Fred and George sign their letters together.

I thought the first chapter was at the Quidditch World Cup (though there wasn't a ton of detail that made me think that). Does this chapter take place before the other (not that you've mis-ordered them but that it goes to before the world cup)? I kind of feel like I'm describing that part in Spaceballs where they watch Spaceballs the movie and say "When will then be now?"

One bit that was a touch confusing was McGonagall's line from (what I'm assuming was) career counselling. It took me a quick re-read of that paragraph to get that it was in the past. Maybe italics would help it stand out as a different point in time.

I imagine that it's quite stressful to have your entire future decided from a test you take when you're 15. I think you captured that stress and magnitude of the decisions being made about the future very well.

The tension/awkward competitiveness between Brienne and Paul is very cool. They seem like they could have romantic potential if the right circumstances were to take place.

The mystery around Brienne's mom's death is really well played throughout the chapter. I like that the chapter ended with that touch of mystery and melancholy. Very well done!

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm glad you're continuing to like this! xD I do hope this is making sense, this being a sequel of The Joker and Her.

George and Brienne are each other's love interest xD But for certain reasons she has not been emotionally available.

The prologue takes place toward the end of the story xD This first chapter is the summer before.

Paul is a new addition and I'm glad you like their dynamic xD

Thanks for saying about the McGonagall thing, I will fix that. Thank you!


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Review #7, by toomanycurls Prologue

7th October 2013:
Hi! Doing a review tag here.

I like that this starts off with adrenaline rushing and a lot of action. It's a great start to pull me in.

Ooh, you did a great job establishing location and time for this story just with the line about getting back to the stadium. (At least it made me think Quidditch World Cup)


Wow, this is quite the action packed start to your story. In the few hundred words here you've gotten me invested in her survival, revealed some key information about the character, and left me wondering what happnened to her.

I am a bit curious who was calling after Brienne and why she was hiding from him (was it just concern for him). I don't think it's necessary to add those details into the story but it is adding to the mystery/sense of confusion you have going on.

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you very much for your review!

I'm glad that you liked it, and thought it was attention-grabbing and well written. I want the identity of the people chasing her (and the guy who followed her into the forest) secret for the time being.

Thank you again for the nice review :)


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Review #8, by Lady of Tears Prologue

11th September 2013:
What an opening! I really enjoyed reading this. I seem to be coming across a lot of suspenseful stories lately and I quite enjoy it. I thought you really captured the moment. I was right there alongside Brienne. I wanted to know what was going to happen. I wanted to know everything! I felt a bit like I was in the Hunger Games, and that's totally a good thing.

I haven't read the original story, since I think this is a sequel, but I liked that I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything.

This is a great start!

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm really glad you liked this and that you think it brought out the right emotions xD This does bear similarities to the Hunger Games now that I think about it.

Thank you very much for reviewing!


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Review #9, by Courtney Dark Result

30th August 2013:
How did I not notice there was a second chapter of this?? This was a great chapter, I really enjoyed it, and I am looking forward to the next one - sorry, this is going to be a very short review as my mother is leaning over me, telling me to hurry up.

I really love Brienne's character, especially because she feels so realistic, so normal - and the way her relationship with George is developing is just brilliant - again, it feels so real, with just the right amount of awkwardness and 'what do I do next-ness?'

Wow, Brienne got an 'O' in Potions - that's impressive! But now she has to endure another year with Snape - whoop-de-doo!

Can't wait for the next one!
Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi! :) Thank you very much for the review, I'm glad you liked it! Haha, don't worry about short reviews, I'm just glad to get any!

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Review #10, by AlAndAl Result

26th August 2013:
Wowowowow :) That was amazing !! I'm so excited to keep reading update soon!! The cliffhanger has my mind going insane. Stunning as always :D

Author's Response: Hi! xD Wow, thank you for the amazing review! I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can :)

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Review #11, by CambAngst Result

26th August 2013:
Hello, again! Tagging you from Review Tag. A new chapter, awesome!

I don't know whether this was on purpose, but the contrast between Brienne's anxiety and the sweltering, sticky weather was really neat. I always think of fear as being a cold feeling. A completely different kind of oppressive from a hot, humid day. So right off the bat, there was something uncomfortable about the situation, something that didn't ring quite right. It added to the mood for me.

I loved all of the different situations and sounds that you used to draw out her feelings of being exposed and in danger. What an awful way to live, believing that death is always waiting around the next corner! Again, it helped to build the mood.

Then you brought the chapter back around to her friends in general and George in particular and I swear, my first thought was, "wait, that's right, she kissed George at the end of the last story!" It wasn't exactly like I'd forgotten, but after the prologue and the setup at the beginning of this chapter, it took a moment to reacquaint myself with the warm, friendly world that we left behind at the end of the first story. The tone is so different now.

This is just my personal preference, but I felt like you overdid it a bit in introducing Fred, Angelina and Paisley. I realize that you're trying to make this story at least somewhat free-standing and not dependent on the reader already having read Joker and Her, but the quick description of each one didn't feel natural in the flow of Brienne's thoughts. The thing that was the most jarring, I think, was including Angelina's Quidditch position and Paisley's house. If you felt it was important to work that in, I think it would have flowed a little better later on.

It was reassuring to see that George didn't magically morph into a suave ladies man just because they shared one kiss. Based on the one letter -- a letter from both himself and Fred, no less! -- it's apparent that he hasn't really figured out the finer points of nurturing a budding romance. I think you did the right thing there. It would have been hard to buy into George making that leap without a lot of help.

Wow, she got an O in Potions? Snape is going to be overj... um, yeah, he's gonna be upset. I loved that she failed Divination. I would be frightened for anyone who got an O on that one.

So she'll be doing the half-course in Defense. I wonder whether that means she'll be enjoying the company of Dolores Umbridge? It's always a joy to see any author's take on that horrible toad of a woman.

Ha! Angelina and Paisley don't seem all that surprised about Brienne and George. In fact, Brienne and George might be the only two people who are surprised about Brienne and George. That's some nicely-written awkward teenage romance for you! I hope she gets to see everyone when she goes shopping in Diagon Alley. That should make for a very interesting reunion, given the environment by that time.

"Donít look at me. Take away my son's wand and he becomes a productive little thing. Reminded me why I never got a House Elf." -- That line cracked me up just a bit. Made me thing of how I get better results out of my kids when I take away their video games before I tell them to clean their room. ;)

There's still just a bit of... something there between Brienne and Paul. Nothing approaching a romantic spark, but definitely a kinship of sorts. It was interesting that you humbled the mighty Ravenclaw intellect just a bit, even if it was a killer subject like Ancient Runes.

And then the necklace. I freely admit that when she set her mother's wand next to it, I was expecting something to happen. I don't know what, but something. I was making myself read those last few paragraphs in order, not allowing my eyes to jump ahead and see whether something crazy happened at the end. It was tense...

I saw one lonely little typo in the entire chapter: She pulled off the necklace and laid it next to the want on top of her dresser before staring at them there for a moment. -- next to the wand

Otherwise, your writing was lovely as always. Things are starting to spin up. Can't wait to see what's next!

Author's Response: Hi! xD Ooh, so excited whenever I see a new review from you!

I think anxiety and sweaty, stinky heat works together well xD Just that uncomfortable awfulness.

I totally get what you said about the introductions about her friends- I didn't want to overload on information about them, especially as I'm guessing most of the people who read this will have read 'Joker.' So thank you for pointing it out and I will scale it down a little :)

I hate when the love interests become magically comfortable and confident around each other when they take a step in the relationship :) Things will change between them, but not that much xD

Umbridge is a year away, but I cannot wait to sink my (writing) claws into her.

I think the relationship you have with kids you played with when you were little, even if you rarely see each other afterwards, is a unique one. You grew up alongside that person, shared your most innocent and (most of the time) happy times with them. If that will translate to their relationship now, well, you'll just have to see xD

Thanks for pointing out the typo! xD This chapter hasn't been through my betas yet, but thank you for letting me know ;)

Gah, thank you so much again for the awesome review!


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Review #12, by Elena :) Prologue

9th August 2013:
*INTENSE GASP* Whoa, that was a rush! I really hope Brienne's dreaming because whatever it is that's happening it's pretty serious stuff. The Joker And Her was amazing to read and I'm in love with the way you write and the characters you depict and create. Please update soon, the suspense is killing me! :D

Author's Response: Thank you very much for this lovely review, I'm in the process of writing the next chapter so I will try to update soon! xD

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Review #13, by AlAndAl Prologue

26th July 2013:
OMG INTENSITY ALREADY. I think you need to update soon because I need my fix of Brienne and the twins. I am 90% nominating this for a Dobby again because *gush* it is so amazing. I love you and your writing please keep going :D

Author's Response: Hi! xD Wow, what an amazing review already! I am writing the next chapter as I speak (type). And don't worry, no matter what happens I will always keep going xD Thank you so much!

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Review #14, by Jeanie Prologue

25th July 2013:
I AM SO GLAD YOU'RE DOING A SEQUEL. You don't even know how much I loved the first one, and now it continues! I am so happy.
Forever one of your biggest fans.
I will be waiting for the next chapter! (: It looks excellent so far.

Author's Response: Hi! xD I'm so glad you like this as much as the original, and I promise that the first chapter will be up soon!

Thank you again!


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Review #15, by LittleTinyAwesome Prologue

15th July 2013:
This is absolutely AMAZING so far! I love the first one and I hope this one will be even better :)

Author's Response: :D Wow, thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it.

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Review #16, by Courtney Dark Prologue

15th July 2013:
Hey there!

Wow, what an amazing opening to the sequel! I am already so intrigued and cannot wait to read more! Don't feel the need to answer this question, because I'm sure it will be answered in time, but is this chapter by any chance Brienne's dream or perhaps an event that is going to happen later in the novel? Hmm...curious, very curious!

My heart was racing throughout this whole chapter - it was extremely well written, and you certainly didn't waste any time plunging us straight into the action! I am more intrigued than ever to find out about Brienne's mother's death/perhaps non-death and these very evil seeming characters. And of course I can't wait for some more George and Brienne action!

Great chapter, and I'm definitely adding this to my favourites. I can't wait for more!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi! Aww, my first favourite for The Tower of Stars! That's so nice of you, thank you!

Haha, you will have to read on to find out the answer to your question!

I'm really happy you liked it, thank you very much for your review :)


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Review #17, by PolyJuice_ Prologue

14th July 2013:
Whoop. In regards to my last review I said something about not updating in forever. My mistake! I clicked your story from a list of pre 2009 stories and didn't think to check the date! :p hahah. Sorry! Guess your story was put intot eh wrong list, lol.

Author's Response: :D Thank you for letting me know!

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Review #18, by PolyJuice_ Prologue

14th July 2013:
Wow, this is so powerful. I could feel every emotion you meant to portray and I saw the scene in my mind. You've done more than just tell me what's happening, you showed me it. You showed it with every word.

"My mouth pops open and instead of issuing a scream of fear, I use the shock to propel me forwards" I love that line so much.

I'm really curious to see where this would go, and I can't believe it's been so long since you updated! Especially on such a brutal cliffhanger.

Anyway, in short I loved every moment of it, and wish it was longer.

Liz

House Cup ~ 2013 ~ Slytherin

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you very much for this kind review! I'm so glad you liked it :)

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Review #19, by ginerva_molly_weasley Prologue

14th July 2013:
Oh Illuminate-

I've read the Joker and her but this may be some of your best work. I recognise Brienne and I know her story but for those that don't the way you introduce her I think that they would get to love her and know her too rather than it just being a sequel.

There is so much angst in here. I want her to run but at the same time I want to know who's following her and who they're going after. Its torn because in my eyes she is now going to sacrifice herself for him because of the events that happened with her mother but I want her to run so she can stay alive.

I love your description in this about the woodland. It is very inventive so I really like the fact that you take care to describe it so vividly even though it is such a fleeting chapter. I want to read more but I also want to cover my eyes!

This is fantastic. Write more soon!!!

Author's Response: Hi! :D Ah, what a nice review!

I'm really glad you like it! And I'm super glad you think that people would like Brienne even if they haven't read my original story :) That's good to know.

Thank you so much! Chapter 1 will be up soon!


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Review #20, by CambAngst Prologue

12th July 2013:
Tagging you from Review Tag!

You didn't waste a second on dropping us right into some action, did you?

I have the feeling that Brienne is either dreaming -- perhaps a very prescient dream, though? -- or we're seeing a snippet of a scene that occurs later in the story. Either way, the sense of fear and tension and the all-consuming need to escape were so palpable! This is the kind of writing that gets your heart beating.

If I had to take a guess, this is happening during the Tri-Wizard Tournament, just based on the fact that she's trying to get back to a stadium. Or, wait, it could be during the Quidditch World Cup, as well. Gah, see, you already have me confused!

No matter the timing, you did a great job capturing a lot of the stuff of nightmares come to life. All of the physical details you worked in: the cut on her calf, the pain in her lungs, the muscles in her legs on the verge of giving in to exhaustion... it was all so vivid and easy to place yourself in the middle of.

And then there's somebody else. Maybe her father? Maybe George? Either way, I love that it's somebody she feels strongly enough for that she wants to fight back. She wants to stop the awful woman we met at the end of The Joker and Her -- I'm guessing it's the same woman -- from killing anyone else she cares about.

I couldn't see a single thing wrong with your writing. Not a single misspelling or typo or grammar problem anywhere. The pacing of this was terrific.

I am really, really looking forward to finding out how this scene fits into your story! If we have this sort of action and drama and suspense to look forward to, it's going to be loads of fun!

Author's Response: Hi! Gah, I've been waiting it feels like years for people to read this, and I'm so glad you like it :)

I'm glad you think the writing feels urgent enough, I didn't want it to seem like there wasn't anything at stake.

Who the boy is, where they are, it's all a mystery that will be revealed xD

Thank you for your review!


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