23 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshp A Bright Future

3rd March 2014:
Blackout Battle!

I think this was a very interesting one-shot! I enjoyed the description of the various places Caradoc was planning to visit and looking at. It was fabulous how you weaved magic in the places, talking about the creatures in those places and stuff.

Your descriptions were also very nicely done as they helped me visualise the places he was considering. The way you expressed his enthusiasm through little details of his body language (eyes sparkling etc.) was a nice touch as well.

All in all, this made for a fine read and I had a great time reading this. It made me think about all the locations in the world where magic exists without the knowledge of the Muggles. Great job!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

This was a fun story to write! The idea of being able to travel for a year to see what you wanted to see... :)

It's amazing how much of the world has been hidden away from Muggles. I think the one creature I would really want to see would be the phoenix.

Thank you!
LEP:)


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Review #2, by Secret Santa A Bright Future

25th December 2013:
Hi! First, I kind of messed up on which story I had the review for (I do my reviews on microsoft word sometimes and then I switched the tabs for both of these chapters), so the review for this story is on Secret of the Kestrel chapter 1. So sorry!!! Oops, Santa's got too many things on the brain I guess! So sorry!

Secret Santa

Author's Response: That's perfectly fine! I completely understand!

Thank you! :)


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Review #3, by Trundlebug A Bright Future

13th July 2013:
This was a very good bit of writing, and I liked that you kind of presented it as a travel guide for the magical world. You kept it very short but still managed a large selection of places and details that made it interesting.

I don't know anything about your character, but I didn't really need to for the story. I actually think it works well with an unknown, and that it even helps it achieve its goal.

A good read, and perhaps an interesting first chapter?

Ken

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I had fun writing this story, imagining what sights could be seen and what could be done there. I find myself planning vacations I never actually take because I have more fun planning them out! :)

I will definitely think about continuing the story though I may need to finish a few other stories first. :)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #4, by HollyStone73 A Bright Future

13th July 2013:
This was really fun to read! I am a huge history buff and so I loved how you tried to incorporate real history things into the story while adding a wizarding twist. The exploration of the different magical creatures that Caradoc could possibly come into contact with was also very interesting. It is obvious that you really did a lot of research for this story and it was much enjoyed! Great job on this! Very interesting and fun to read!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I did have fun writing this story and looking up what could be in the different locations. I wanted to include not only the sights but the different creatures, even if he discounted some of them. :)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #5, by nott theodore A Bright Future

13th July 2013:
Hello! I'm here reviewing for the house cup :)

Well, there's no doubting the theme of travel in this story, is there? It was kind of a classical interpretation of it, and I really enjoyed reading this. There's so much magic and history in it and it's so interesting to read!

Minor characters are my favourite to both read and write about, so I was really happy to see a story focusing entirely on Caradoc Dearborn here. He's no more than a name in canon, but you brought him to life; he's a young man who's intelligent and interested in the world around him. The excitement he felt at the beginning of the story when his parents told him he could go on this trip was infectious - I found myself getting excited about going to all of these places as well!

Starting with the prospect of going to Egypt was a clever way to begin, because we know a bit about how it ties into the magical world already from canon, and that helped me to believe that everything else you said about the other countries was basically a canon fact. But I also liked how you expanded the mention of Egypt from just the pyramids to other sights as well.

The list of countries that Caradoc is going to visit is pretty spectacular, isn't it? I liked the inclusion of different magical creatures that he would be able to see in the different countries as well, and the fact that the prospect of seeing some of them gave him some impetus for visiting. I particularly enjoyed the descriptions of Greece, and the lost island that he had hopes of discovering!

Another element I liked here was the fact that you used the old names for countries, as that's something we see in canon with Transylvania still in existence, and that was another detail that enhanced this story.

I didn't see a single typo or grammar mistake and I really enjoyed reading this story. Go Gryffindor!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

This was a very fun story to write as well as looking up all the information to include. It certainly makes me wish I was able to spend time traveling and seeing all the different sights.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #6, by ginerva_molly_weasley A Bright Future

13th July 2013:
Now this story is just teaming with magic so I'm not too sure where to start!

He is a very interesting young fellow isn't he, Mr Dearborn. I love the fact that he is so interested in creatures as it shows how well educated he is and shows that he had a lot of culture which is something which often lacks in many young people so that element of the story is wonderful.

Also the mentioning different aspects of magic I loved with him showing what he was most interested in, the old and powerful magic. You can just imagine how much magic would be in the old architecture and I loved the idea about the island of Aeaeae. Which incidentally reminds me of Aeneas who survived the fall of Troy and led his people to Italy to find Rome so I dont know if you're going for the idea that that island is more mythological butI do like that aspect of it .
Well done

GinevraMollyPotter
Slytherin

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

In the course of looking up information for this story, I discovered that Aeaea is the legendary island of Circe and thought that would be interesting to add in. :)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #7, by maskedmuggle A Bright Future

13th July 2013:
Hey!

I really liked this fic, particularly Caradoc's thoughts about where to travel on his year-long journey! I really liked gaining an insight into where a wizard might like to travel. I liked how he considered places I'd heard of, such as Europe and Mauritius, whilst still bringing in magical elements - like seeing the phoenix in its natural habitat or trying to search for a Diricawl (I'd never actually heard about it before, but I just searched it up and wow, what an interesting creature!)

I just really loved hearing about all the different places! I don't think Andorra is the smallest country though.. pretty sure it's Vatican City, but anyway, that's not very important! Overall, I loved how I could relate to the planning of a trip, but I also loved how you incorporated magical creatures and magical things he could do in the planning. Really interesting and enjoyable read! :)

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2013 Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I really had fun researching for this story as well as writing it! It makes me wish that I could spend the time traveling and learning.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #8, by patronus_charm A Bright Future

13th July 2013:
Just a word of warning this is a phone review so sorry for any horrible typos!

I really loved this one shot as it incorporated so many different things such as history, culture and different magical things which really added so much to it.

I think my favourite section was the Egyptian one. ou went into so much detail in that one and I was sitting there loving every minute of it. I love and know about the area, so it was just great. I always thought it had some sort of magical air so it made sense that he was drawn to i.

The tying in the magical creatures with the regional areas as really great. A lot of people forget about them and they're often neglected so they got the limelight they long deserved in this one shot. I almost wish that we got to see his travels because after reading it all it made me want to see it!

I really loved the ending of it and I'm feeling a little jealous of all the possibilities he could chose from. I do wonder what he ended up choosing but I'm sure he's having a great time anyway!

I really loved this one shot! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I definitely had fun researching for this story as well as writing it! I really wish I could spend the time traveling the world and seeing the sights first-hand. :)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #9, by PolyJuice_ A Bright Future

13th July 2013:
I loved how you took a character that isn't really used in canon and turned him into..well..this! A fully developed, JKR worthy person, who I, personally, would love to her more from. ;)

Interesting take on the travel theme, I definitely liked it, showed up everything but the actual travel! (And the kitchen sink..heh..)

Anyway, I loved it so much and was glad for the opportunity to read this!

Liz

House Cup ~ 2013 ~ Slytherin

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I have been wanting to write a story about Caradoc for awhile. I'd still like to know what happened to him.

I think I actually have more fun planning the vacation, so planning a magical vacation was all the more fun!

I will think about expanding this story though it will need to wait until after I finish a few other stories. :)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #10, by Beeezie A Bright Future

13th July 2013:
There were a lot of things about this story that I really, really liked.

The fact that you focused on such a minor character was great, because it really let your creativity shine through. This premise wouldn't have really worked with any of the major canon characters, and it would have been a real shame to miss out on something so fun.

Caradoc didn't actually go anywhere in this, but you did such an amazing job with the details that it didn't much matter. You clearly put a lot of research into the historical background of these places, and perhaps even more impressively, you did a great job imagining what they would mean to wizards.

Egypt has at least been covered a bit in canon, so there you at least had somewhere to start (which isn't to discount the fully individual spin you put on it), but other places - the Lighthouse and Royal Library of Alexandria, for instance, or Assyria - were never even mentioned in canon, as far as I remember, but you make their existence and relevance in the wizarding world to be as plausible as anything out of Egypt.

I also thought that you did a great job getting into his head. The flights of fancy - joining an archeological team, seeing a ruined Lighthouse, finding a missing island with the help of mermaids, seeing different magical creatures in the wild, etc - fit perfectly with the enthusiastic way a young person (which I'm assuming he is, at this point) would see exploring the world.

There's definitely a thirst for glory and thrills that comes across, but there's also a real intellectual curiosity and a drive to simply experience new things. It's an excellent representation of a young wizard about to embark on a quest like this.

This was a lovely, imaginative piece that fits beautifully with the theme for this House Cup. Excellent job.

House Cup 2013 - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I certainly had fun researching for this story as well as writing it! It certainly makes me wish that I could spend the time to travel the world and see the sights first-hand.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #11, by ohmymerlin A Bright Future

13th July 2013:
Hello! :)

This was written really well! I really enjoyed seeing Caradoc reading through all different sorts of pamphlets and booklets, wondering where he wanted to go to!

I would love to see a phoenix, so I can see why he would love to go to its natural habitat!

I really liked that you picked Caradoc Dearbon for this one-shot, he's a very underloved character and I think you wrote him really well. I can see Caradoc being like this. :)

I also absolutely loved his fascination with all the magical creatures. You wrote it really well, and I could picture myself standing next to him and getting excited at going to all these different places. You definitely wrote the travel theme well!

Anywho, this was a really enjoyable one-shot! Good job!

- Kayla. :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I did have a lot of fun researching for this story as well as writing it! I really wish I could spend the time to travel the world and see the sights.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #12, by ShadowRose A Bright Future

12th July 2013:
Hello there! :)

I really liked this story - it tied in the travel theme without any actual travelling as all.

I like that you chose Caradoc as your main character - he's such a minor character normally that we don't know much about him. It seems he has quite the interest in magical plants and animals - and he's a very academic-based man as well. I'd love to see more elaboration on his character too, but as this is a one-shot, I know that's kind of hard.

I like the way you briefly brush over places, and discuss each place's merits as Caradoc decides which places he wants to visit - it was fun to hear about the magical qualities of each place, some that we know about from the HP series, and some that are more obscure.

Overall, this was a fun little story to read - great job!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

It was certainly fun researching for this story as well as writing it! I really wish that I could spend time traveling the world and seeing the different sights.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #13, by Siriuslover177 A Bright Future

12th July 2013:
I really liked this one-shot.
It was nice to hear about all different countries, and the pros and cons of going to each.
It was very interesting, because some of these places I have actually not heard of! So you taught me something while I read this(:
Nice job!

~Sarah

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I have fun planning vacations so being able to plan a magical vacation was far more fun!

While I was writing this story, I learned several new facts while looking up the different pieces.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #14, by purplepotter77 A Bright Future

12th July 2013:
Hello! This is purplepotter775 from Ravenclaw on the forums, here for the House Cup!

I really liked how this story was unique because it didn't include travel itself, yet it included one of the most important parts of traveling: the planning!

I loved your descriptions of all the different places, and it helped us know what Caradoc was thinking about each place and gave a lot of interesting background information. It was nice to see these places as how they would be seen from a magic point of view and the Wizarding side of each location.

I liked how this story was about Caradoc Dearborn! Since he's such an obscure character and isn't really mentioned much in the books, it was great to see your portrayal of him. I think you could have developed his character a bit more, but since it's a one-shot, that might have been a bit harder to do in such a short space.

Overall, this story was a lovely read!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

It was fun researching for this story as well as writing it! I really wish I could spend the time traveling the world and seeing the sights.

I've added a note to develop Caradoc's character a little more. Thank you!

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #15, by marauderfan A Bright Future

12th July 2013:
Hello! I really liked this story. Although there's no actual travelling, it shows a very important part of the travel process - all that planning! I loved reading his thoughts about Egypt particularly as that's somewhere I've always wanted to go as well! It was really neat to read about the places from a wizarding perspective too - so its not about the Parthenon in Greece, but merpeople and Chimaeras, which was a really nice touch, because wizards would see the world differently to how a muggle traveller would see it.

It was great to read about an obscure canon character, too. It sounds like Caradoc is really into plants and animals, since he mentions the Abyssinian Shrivelfig and several magical creatures as drawing him towards the country, so I like that bit of characterisation. I think you could have done a bit more with him though, for example why he likes the particular things he does - what's his background like? That's just a suggestion if you want to edit later, but the story is really about travel more than anything else and I think you did that very well!! Great work!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I had fun researching for this story as well as writing it! I only wish that I was able to spend the time traveling the world to see the different sights.

I did include notes to work on Caradoc's characterization more when I next edit the story. Thank you.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #16, by LittleLionGirl A Bright Future

12th July 2013:
Wow. This really is a lovely little one shot though not much seems to be happening other then a boy leafing though pamphlets. I have heard of people writing about less though so no worries :) It was well written.
XOXOX,
LLG

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I enjoyed writing this story. I like planning out a vacation and so planning out a magical vacation was even more fun!

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #17, by DracoFerret11 A Bright Future

12th July 2013:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from Ravenclaw on the forums here to review for you for the House Cup 2013! :D So, let's go over things:

Characterization: I liked how you portrayed Caradoc! I would have enjoyed seeing even more of his personality and just why he's so interested in magical history, but I think what you have was effective. If you ever went back to edit this, it would be interesting to expand more into his psyche and why he likes what he likes, etc.

Descriptions: I loved your descriptions of the different places! I really think you could delve even more into that and find a way to show more depth to each place so they all stand out. You definitely captured my attention when you started with Egypt, but it would be great to even see more detail about how these places look, feel, sound, etc. Maybe some sort of "interactive magical pamphlet" would help with that. ;) An idea.

Emotions: I would have liked to see more of Caradoc's excitement concerning his trip. You could really show how interested he is in traveling and why this trip means so much to him. Because you spent so much time describing the places, his character fell a bit by the wayside.

Plot: Again, I would like to see how much this trip means to him and what leads up to his parents allowing him to take it. Did they argue about it first? Was it just a surprise for him? Had he considered it before they offered? I would like more, you know? (But I totally understand the time restraints we were under. Don't think I'm saying you should have "tried harder" or something. This is GREAT how it is! :) I'm just giving pointers if you'd like to add more someday.)

Pacing: The story ended rather abruptly. I think it might have been interesting to see him prepare for the trip and really lean into the excitement that that would bring.

Despite all my constructive criticism, I want you to know that I think you did a good job! I enjoyed reading this and it was really cool that you chose such an obscure character. You did well! Great job and good luck on the House Cup! :D

--Emily

Author's Response: Wow! Thank you very much!

Thank you very much for all the constructive criticism! I've added all your suggestions into the notes for my story and will definitely use them when I next edit this story. :)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #18, by Ron 4 Hermione A Bright Future

12th July 2013:
This is an interesting piece, I like the idea of him sat there surrounded by all these booklets and leaflets trying to work out where to go, I think you got across the feeling that there is so much choice, so many places to go really well and I could almost see him trying to narrow down his list.

I love the information about the places, especially how you've incorporated some magic in it, the use of the bubble head charm and the creatures, a really nice touch. I think it would have made a nice touch if you had maybe described the places a bit more, talked about what they were like, countryside/town/sand that kind of thing, just an idea, feel free to ignore it and it didn't take away from the overall fic.

A really good piece, and I hope my parents are kind are enough to do that one day! :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

It was fun researching for this story as well as writing it!

I have added your suggestion to describe the places a little bit more. Thank you!

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #19, by Siriusgirl A Bright Future

12th July 2013:
This is a great idea! We don't know a lot about Caradoc Dearborn, other than he was killed and his body was never found, so it's interesting to read about some of his ideas in life. Great story!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

Ever since his name came up in the 5th book, I've been curious about him. I really would like to know what happened to him. I've also been wanting to write a story with him, so this seemed the perfect time to do so! :)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #20, by Roots in Water A Bright Future

12th July 2013:
Hello there!

Oooh- the planning stages instead of the actual traveling. Interesting. You know, I think that the actual planning of a trip can be almost as exciting as the trip itself, if not more. After all, you have to look at many places, all advertising their best qualities in order to get you to travel there. The decisions can be very tough to make. At least Caradoc seemed very certain of where he wanted to go. No quibbling about for him! :)

I liked how you had him go through and look at all of the places. It was definitely interesting to see him look at them from a magical perspective- I've only ever thought about traveling based on Muggle history, culture and, of course, the climate. I wish that there would have been room for you to continue this so that we could see his experiences at all of those magical places, but alas- there was a word limit.

Your characterization was nice. Caradoc came across quite clearly as a young man interested in academics - it would be interesting to travel the world with him, since he seems very good at determining what places are worth visiting.

I do wish, however, that you had given us more detail about him and his life. As I read, I found myself very curious to know about his life. Has he graduated from Hogwarts? (probably, if he's going on a World Tour) Did he even go to Hogwarts? What does he want to do with his life? How do his goals fit in with the places he has chosen to visit? There are so many things that you can add to make this story even richer and more enjoyable.

I do have one question (and it might seem silly): is Caradoc Dearborn a character from the series? His name sounds familiar, but I wasn't sure. :P

All in all, this was a good story and you explored the theme of travel from an interesting perspective: the "before" stage. Good job! :D

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

It was a lot of fun researching for this story as well as writing it! It seems that I spend more time planning out the trip instead of actually taking it! :)

I've added your suggestions to include more about Caradoc's life and aspirations in the story. Thank you!

You may have already looked this up by now, but Caradoc Dearborn was mentioned in passing in the 5th book as having been a member in the first Order of the Phoenix that disappeared one day and could not be found.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #21, by MrsJaydeMalfoy A Bright Future

12th July 2013:
I really enjoyed this piece! I love how, even though Caradoc technically didn't go anywhere, he still managed to travel the world. Although he was just looking at pamphlets and thinking about the pros and cons of going to those places, it still felt like he was travelling, and like I was going with him!

You did an excellent job of conveying Caradoc's excitement, too! Reading how excited he got about visiting Egypt and all those other places got me all excited as well; he's very relatable!

Overall this is a wonderful and well-written one shot! Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I had fun researching for this story as well as writing it! I only wish that I could spend the time to travel around the world seeing the sights.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #22, by HeyMrsPotter A Bright Future

12th July 2013:
Having read a few of your stories before, I knew I wouldn't be disappointed by this and I certainly wasn't. You have such a talent for using small details to give excellent depth to your stories and this one was no different. I liked how much thought you've obviously put into this thinking of all the different places and which magical creatures could be found there. I didn't notice any spelling or grammar mistakes and the story flowed excellently. Brilliant job!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I did have a lot of fun researching for this story as well as writing it! I seem to spend more of my time planning for trips rather than actually taking them. :)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #23, by AC_rules A Bright Future

12th July 2013:
Hi there LilyEPotter!

I really enjoyed this short little piece, mostly because I had a similar (if not quite as awesome) opportunity myself the year. My Dad always makes up these 'traditions' and, thanks to this tradition, he offered to take me on holiday anywhere in the world (ish... apparently Australia was too far out...) and I was SO clueless as to where I wanted to go for such a long.

I don't have a year, just a few weeks, but I think you captured the feeling of SO MUCH WORLD WHERE TO GO really well, and it was really lovely to read. I also liked all the magical places you reference - there was obviously quite a bit of thought put into that, which was cool, and all these places sound really interesting. Damn I wish I was magical so I could go see and explore all these magical places :D

The story was also really smooth too, so well done for that!

-AC

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I did have a lot of fun researching for this story as well as writing it! I only wish that I could spend the time traveling the world and seeing the different sights.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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