Reading Reviews for Freeze
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57 Frigida

1st January 2014:
Hello! I'm here from the review battle. :)

In honor of Frozen, I wanted to review this story. I am absolutely enthralled by it! Your main character (the review box won't let me say her name) is so mysterious--am I correct in guessing that her mother is the Snow Queen? Whether or not I am correct, I was intrigued by her love for Diagon Alley and her eagerness to stay away from people. The way Andromeda's story made her so uncomfortable, it doesn't surprise me that she keeps her true identity a secret.

The story, though! A companion mirror to Erised?! That's brilliant! I love how you wove the tale of the Snow Queen into the Potterverse--that was cool (accidental pun)! And Teddy Lupin seems to have a piece of that terrible mirror in his own eye, I think! Will he ever come around? How does he know who the main character's mother is?

This chapter makes me want to read more! Thanks for an awesome story!

Happy New Year!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Happy New Year!
Thanks for the review! Sigh, I've given up on trying to keep up the suspense. Yes, Frigida is the daughter of the Snow Queen. Glad you picked up on that :)
I'm very happy that you enjoyed the story (ahem, the one within my story I mean) it took some time to come up with. Awesome pun :D Teddy does have a piece of the mirror in his eye and clearly it looks like he's met the Snow Queen before!

Thanks so much for leaving a review! I hope that you will continue to read the story as it progresses (however slow that maybe, seeing that I am the world's biggest procrastinator).


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Review #2, by Secret Santa Molly

31st December 2013:
Hello there - Secret Santa back again! :)

I have to say, I'm genuinely loving this story. It's so brilliant and beautiful and I know it's for a challenge but you've woven the Harry Potter world and the world of the fairytale together so perfectly. It's so clever and makes so much sense, and just fits so well; it's so impressive.

I like how we're seeing different chapters from different people's point of view. I've seen stories doing similar sorts of things before, but I think this is the best example I've seen ever of how to do it. The change between pov is so clear, you know, even without looking at the 'Molly' chapter title. Your writing is still so beautiful, but it's /Molly/, if that makes sense. It changes with the character change and I love that. It really shows the differences in personality between the characters.

Your characters are just amazing. End of. They are so realistic, and so well crafted, that I feel like this is an actual legend-fairytale-type story in itself, and it almost feels familiar in some kind of way. I love how Molly is excited about the idea of being inside a fairytale and actually sort of being involved with one and potentially meeting the Snow Queen and everything. I loved, though, the little bit at the beginning where you showed us Molly and Lucy together. It's such a real relationship, with the jealousy and yet the sort of sisterhood and the differences between them... I really liked it.

Frigida... yes! I was right! :P I'm so fascinated about her and how she's going to react to having to go and get Teddy, and if she's met Teddy before and how he knows what her mother looks like and just how they're going to get on, her and Molly and her and Teddy. I like how she knows that something's happened to Teddy, and doesn't seem surprised that her mother's taken him, you know, it says a lot about her and how well she knows her mother, almost. Makes me wonder if something similar has ever happened before...

Nuremberg! Oh wow (though if you mean the prison Grindelwald is kept in, then it's Nurmengard ;) ), that's really not going to be a fun trip... though I'm slightly confused as to how they're there.. defective Portkey? Or is there more too it? Gah, this is so fascinating, I want to know more! :)

Your writing, as before, is so gorgeous. Even here, where it feels lighter and less angsty and gloomy, it's still so beautiful. Your descriptions are wonderful and your characterisation is incredible. I really, really hope you keep writing this because I really do love it!

(And when I'm no longer Secret Santa I can come back! :D)

Secret Santa xx

Author's Response: Hi Aphoride!! See, now I know who you are ;)
Thanks for all your amazing words. I have to say, I was really under confident about my writing skills but after reading your reviews, I feel like maybe I'm not that bad after all!
I'm so happy that you could make out different characters through my writing. It was really what I was going for, so I'm glad it worked!

You wonder if something similar has happened before? ARGH! Have you no mercy? Must you be able to predict what happens in future chapters before I've even written them?! ;)

It is in fact Nurmengard :P I really have to proofread these chapters once again. Anyway, thanks so much for the wonderful reviews, they really brightened my day!


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Review #3, by Secret Santa Frigida

31st December 2013:
Hello there! Secret Santa dropping by! I saw this story on your page and just had to stop by - I love fairytales and this sounded amazing! :)

I love how you introduced the story and scene without telling us anything about Frigida at the beginning. It was a slow introduction, but it worked so well - it really drew me in and made me so curious about what was going to happen and who she was.

The characters are brilliant, as well. I love how Frigida couldn't stay there and listen to the Snow Queen story - I'm guessing she knows her, or is related or something? Daughter, maybe? And how she studied Herbology but had never seen or held a real flower before. It's something I'd never thought of before with the Snow Queen, but it makes so much sense, and it's kinda sad in a way, you know?

Molly and Andromeda are two characters I adore reading about - and I like how they're both welcoming and friendly, but still have their own distinct personalities. Andromeda is much more shrewd than Molly, and less open and cheerful. It's a nice contrast to each other. I love as well how you've used Molly for this and not Victoire or Dominique. Molly doesn't get written about so much, so it's nice to see her having a role in this! :)

Ooh, Teddy's introduction was strange. 'You look like your mother'. How does he know her mother? I thought maybe she was something to do with the Snow Queen, but now I'm not totally sure... hm... curious :P

Your writing is so lovely, as well! Your descriptions are gorgeous and just the right amount. There were so many gorgeous lines in this, I couldn't really pick just one. I loved your descriptions of ice and snow and the way Frigida was so amazed by the flowers most, I think. It was just such beautiful writing.

Seriously, your style is wonderful.

When Secret Santa is over I'll definitely have to keep reading this, and things on your page! :) This was such a delight to read, I'm really glad I'm your Secret Santa! :)

Secret Santa xx

Author's Response: Hi!! I'm thrilled that the reviews didn't get lost because they are AMAZING. To be honest, this story was on a semi-hiatus because I really didn't have the motivation to keep writing it. After reading these reviews I feel like typing up ten more chapters ;)

As you could probably make out from the summary, I was writing this for a fairytale challenge and I was going to name it frozen (and then disney messed rings up for me :P). I really love the original story and I wanted to put my own spin on it.

I'm so glad that you loved the introduction and the characterization, I really wanted to make contrasting characters with really distinct personalities in the story. You're right, not many people write about Molly, which gives her no expectations to live up to. I had the freedom to mould her into anything that I wanted to.

Is it that obvious that the Snow Queen is Frigida's mother?! ;) To think that I thought I was good at keeping up the suspense. As I have said many times in the past, you readers are far too perceptive :P

Aw, I'm so glad for having such a wonderful Secret Santa and I can't wait until they reveal the identities so I can properly thank you! Thanks for all the compliments and words of encouragement, they really brightened my day! Happy New year!


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Review #4, by academica Molly

4th November 2013:
Hello, here for round two for the review battle!

Ahh, Frigida's mother is the Snow Queen! It's sad that Frigida just wants to make friends and her mother had to go and kidnap poor Teddy. At least she and Molly can work together to recover him.

I don't know how I felt about the banter in this chapter. On the one hand, it was cute watching the girls bond and the sarcasm go back and forth, but on the other hand you would think Molly and Andromeda would be a little more focused on and worried about getting Teddy back before something happens to him.

I was also a bit confused by the end--did you mean Nuremberg, the German city where the most prominent Nazi leaders were tried after the end of World War II? Maybe I missed something, but I didn't see where you explained what 'Nurenberg' is. I suppose it could be a cliffhanger, though :)

Great job! It'll be interesting to see where you take this story next and how the search goes.

-Amanda

Author's Response: Wow, two reviews! Thanks so much :)

Yeah, Frigida's mom has a tendency to ruin every chance Frigida gets to make friends. The conversation is a little relaxed, but I guess that's just how Molly is. She tries to lighten the situation with her sarcasm and hide the true panic she feels inside. I guess for her it makes the situation easier to fix.

Argh, I meant to type Nuremberg, Germany which is actually the place where I imagined Nuremgard to be. You know, the prison constructed by Gellert Grindelwald? Yeah, I'll fix that typo right now. Thanks for pointing it out!

Thank you so much for your reviews, I really appreciate hearing your thoughts about the story:)


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Review #5, by academica Frigida

4th November 2013:
Hello, here for the Ravenclaw Review Battle :)

Hmm, this is an intriguing beginning. Clearly Frigida is more mysterious than she lets on. I have to wonder where she came from--could she be the legendary Snow Queen, or perhaps a descendant? Surely her erratic behavior won't go unnoticed for long.

I liked the story and how you tied it into canon by describing the mirror as the opposite of Erised. The idea of a mirror showing your deepest insecurities is quite creepy and sad! I also liked the bit of imagery you included, particularly the ending: The bouquet burst into millions of tiny pink snowflakes, fluttering to the ground behind me.

My only quibble would be that I think a beta reader could help you smooth this out a bit. There are several places where I see typos and incorrect punctuation, and I think working out those small errors would improve the flow here.

Good work! I'm moving on to chapter two.

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for your advice. I will definitely try to get a beta reader for the story as soon as possible. I'm glad that you found Frigida mysterious because she certainly is and you'll find out more about her in the next chapters. Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #6, by Cc Molly

3rd September 2013:
Ahh to short! Keep the chapters coming! I want read more :D

Author's Response: Haha, thank you so much! The next chapter should hopefully be up soon!

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Review #7, by StellaRose Frigida

3rd August 2013:
I love this story so far! Right off the back I was captivated by your words. Your description of the sunset, something so ordinary, was made to seem magical by your description.

I'm curious about the flowers. Is there symbolism behind them? I'm not very familiar with 'The Snow Queen' so maybe I'm missing something obvious.

My only suggestion would be to go back and fix some of the spacing. A few of the lines are running together and it's not consistent throughout the chapter.

Besides that, really great start! You definitely know how to leave a reader hanging--all I can think about is Teddy and how he knows Frigida! I love a good mystery :)

Author's Response: Why thank you!

The flowers do play an important role in the actual fairytale written by Hans Christian Anderson, but there isn't going to be much emphasis on them in my adaptation. I did want to mention them somewhere in the story, so there you have it :)

Yes, the spacing has been a bit of a problem. I think I didn't past the story in right or something. I'll fix that as soon as possible.

Thanks for the encouragement, I'm really glad that you liked the chapter!


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Review #8, by quixofan Frigida

17th July 2013:
It's amazing how you intertwine the two different worlds!(seemingly effortless) I can't wait to see where the story goes!

Author's Response: Thanks! I really appreciate your words of encouragement :)

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Review #9, by patronus_charm Frigida

16th July 2013:
Hello there Iím here with your review!

I really love the Snow Queen, and I even got the star role of a snowflake when my school did it as a play, so when I saw this on your author page, I couldnít resist. I liked the way you intertwined it with canon characters, and it didnít feel forced at all considering it was an adaption of an original story.

Molly had this really eerie air about her, and it fitted perfectly with the idea of this being for a fairy tale because it was as if she had some sort of ethereal power. I think her dialogue perfectly matched this. I canít really explain why but it just had this sense of obscureness about it, which I really liked.

Another thing which I thought was great was using Andromeda to tell the tale. With her being related to the Blacks and her backstory she already has the air of specialness which is required of a story teller so when she did begin telling it was enchanting. Iíve never really used enchanting before to describe something, but this was just different to how stories usually are and thatís the best way to describe it!

The story she told fitted really well. I never really imagined the tale of Harry Potter to become which one which was used to entertain but I guess it makes sense because it was so iconic itís almost like King Arthurís tales or something.

The only CC I would really give is perhaps space it out a little more because it made it a little hard to differentiate with dialogue and it would just give the story a clearer and crisper feel. Other than that, I really enjoyed this first chapter!
-Kiana

Author's Response: I'm so sorry for not responding to this brilliant review earlier! My excuse? I'm lazier than Dudley Dursley. That doesn't make things any better though, does it?

The Snow Queen is one of those fairytales that I read when I was eight or nine, not really grasping the morals and concepts behind it. Not so many years later, I've discovered the sheer amount of plot and ideas that I have to work with. It's amazing and daunting at the same time.

Molly having an ethereal air? Gah, you readers are too perceptive for your own good. Do you know how hard it is for me to build suspense? All the same, I'm glad that you were so engrossed and observant, it really encourages me to post the next chapters :)

Thank you for all the wonderful compliments, this review has really made my day. I hope you continue to read the story as it progresses at an embarrassingly slow pace.


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Review #10, by broadwaykat Frigida

15th July 2013:
Hello! Sorry this took me longer than expected to get back and review, but here goes.

First off - let me say kudos for taking on a lesser known story from the fairy tales list! It's sometimes easier I think for people to take stuff they've seen adapted loads of times, but this is something off the usual charts and I can't wait to see how you interpret it.

In this chapter alone, I see that you've brought up some interesting parallels with that and the wizarding world. This is what I wanted to see in the stories - those tentative connections between things. I do like the connection with the Mirrors - Erised and Phobos being connected and being literal reflections of each other seems like a particularly interesting idea - and a great blend of the original mirror in the story, as well as something from the Potter canon. I think that was particularly neat. I also like the character that you've picked as the OC so far - although I might assume there will be a few more. Frigida sounds like both a cold name and a sort of wizarding-scandanavian name mixed in there. It's certainly creative. Lastly, drawing the parallel between Santa Claus and the Snow Queen. Not only did it bring an interesting mythos to the original story, but it also gave me a bit of a Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe Vibe. Good show.

Structurally...it's a little hard to read in places. Just because of your story spacing. In dialogue, there doesn't seem to be much division and it seems more lumped together than other, descriptive paragraph sections. It's a little thing, but it does help a lot when you're reading something - gives the story a bit of flow. From my perspective, reading something so close together speeds the story up unnecessarily.

Also, there are moments where the verbs or adjectives seem...out of place. They can fit in the sentence, but there are just different choices that could help things move a bit better. Pointing out a specific example: "I had never seen a real flower outside of those herbology textbooks." While "Those" does...fit...brings up questions - like WHAT Herbology book. It seems to be referencing a specific type of book, and just seems wonky in context - whereas you could put the same idea in an easier context by saying. "I had never seen a real flower outside of a Herbology Textbook." There. It's more generalized and it gets the same idea across.

This story seems like it'll be going in interesting places, and I can't wait to read more of it. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for all the awesome feedback you've given me! I will be sure to incorporate into the chapter as soon as possible. I was unable to publish a second chapter in time for the challenge, which I am very sorry about. Nevertheless, I'd like to say that I really enjoyed this challenge. Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to write an adaptation of such a beautiful story.

Many thanks for the great review :)


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Review #11, by Phoenix Quill Frigida

12th July 2013:
This is a really good story so far! I have a prediction, but won't say it, so I don't spoil it for people who haven't figured it out. Great work!

Author's Response: Thanks! A prediction, huh? Well, there are a few secrets that will be revealed in the upcoming chapters so wait and watch! :)

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