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5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AbraxanUnicorn clarity (inconvenience)

25th January 2017:
Hello!

I really enjoyed this chapter too :) Loved the bit where Sirius and James are poking fun at Remus in potions; this bit portrays them exactly as how I see them too!

All the little sewing references and Charlotte's surname, which I obviously neglected to pick up on in previous chapters, suddenly led me to putting two and two together and wondering how she's related to Madam Malkin or if she IS Madam Malkin. Hmmm.

Anyway, great chapter! Looking forward to the next one :)

Brax X

Author's Response: Hello again,

I'm so glad you enjoyed that interpretation of James and Sirius! And regarding other things...I cannot confirm or deny anything.

thanks again,
blackballet


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Review #2, by Dinthemidwest clarity (inconvenience)

22nd January 2017:
Clever story so far!

Author's Response: thanks so much! I hope to update this weekend

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Review #3, by dreamgazer220 curious

22nd January 2017:
Hi there! Here with your review :]

The beginning of this story, the part in the italics, is very intriguing and it pulled me right in. Her father seems very wise and I have a feeling the paths are going to play a large role in the story. Charlotte strikes me as someone who doesn't like change, based on that and her attitude, and I have a feeling she's going to get hit with a whole lot of change real fast.

It was nice to see her with a, er, sort of friend in Mary, though, even though she seems to only tolerate her. I did enjoy that Mary has a backbone that we could see and I hope she gets to use it later on; I'm also wondering what's going to break down Charlotte's walls.

It made me chuckle that she's a very apathetic Quidditch captain. She just seems very apathetic about everything, but I wonder if that has something to do with her being half-inferius? Is that a creature we know of and I'm blanking on? Either way, I'm interested to see how that plays a role here too.

And of course James would need more time for Quidditch tryouts. Of course.

Overall, this was a cute start to the story! I enjoyed rerading it. :) Thank you for the request!

-Jill

Author's Response: Oh wow, this review really hit it on the head! I'm so happy that you enjoyed Mary, as I was afraid she would become too predictable or too much of a pushover. She and Charlotte's relationship wikl be explained as the story moves forward.
Also, inferius are the reanimated murder victims that Voldemort used in the first war...mysterious

thanks again for the review!
blackballet


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Review #4, by AbraxanUnicorn average

19th January 2017:
Hello again!

Well, you've got me hooked on this.

So, Charlotte is part-inferius, and it's spreading? Interesting and original concept - there's not much written about inferi. I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this story and also keen to know what the history was and how Charlotte got into this situation. It sounds like she's had quite a torrid childhood if she's been in ten foster homes :(

I really enjoyed the Quidditch scene with James and Sirius, and thought the dialogue flowed very well.

Hehe - the bit about averages made me laugh and took me a moment to get my head round!

Looking forward to the next chapter and seeing whether there will be any developments in Charlotte's condition, or any further Charlotte-Sirius exchanges, or if Mary makes the team.

Brax X

Author's Response: Oh, I'm so happy to hear that! I was kind of hesitant in taking on such a confusing plot, but I think I can handle it...hopefully. Charlotte is a confusing character, and not a lot affects her. That will become more obvious as the story progresses.

I'm so happy that dialogue worked, and that little bit of inner monologue is not the only one you'll get from Charlotte :)

I'm glad to hear you like it!! The next chapter should be up sometime in the next 12 hours

blackballet


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Review #5, by AbraxanUnicorn curious

18th January 2017:
Intriguing start to a story :)

I'm presuming the italic paragraph at the beginning was a conversation that happened before the rest of the chapter takes place? With the inferius references and this section, I'm curious to know what occurred and its relevance to now.

I love the difference between Quidditch team captain attitudes and how Charlotte is quite blasť about it compared to James! I like how you've crafted Charlotte and Mary's characters and made clear differences between the two. I suspect Mary may be in for a fall if she has her eye on James, though!

Enjoyed this first chapter, looking forward to reading more :) X

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for reviewing, I really did enjoy your story.
Yes, the beginning paragraph takes place well before the rest of the chapter. Everything will come together eventually :)

I wanted to compare these two characters first, because they're the complete opposite: where James cares the most, she cares the least. And yes, Mary will unfortunately be let down. :(

Thank you again for the review,

blackballet


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