Reading Reviews for Final Call
33 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ValWitch21 Final Call

8th September 2013:
This is probably the worse stab in the feels I've had for a while. Petunia's excitement was so real, so raw and tangbible, and everything was ripped away from her for the second time in the space of a few hours.

Most of the time, I don't sympathise with her as a character. Here, however, I felt so, so terrible for her. I'm just sitting here trying to tell myself that she's a fictional character and that it's okay, but it isn't working.

What I really admire is how suddenly her happiness stops. When I realised she didn't have her passport, it's as if I'd started breathing again after holding my breath for so long. Gah, this whole one-shot really reduces me to a messy pile of sad feels.

Excellent work, I suppose, though I don't like being sad like this!

Author's Response: I never used to sympathize with either; I just figured that she had a lot more going on then just being snooty. I tried to ask myself how I would feel if I didn't get to go to Hogwarts and my siblings did. I'd be crushed and jealous too. This review is so sweet and insightful; I really appreciate it. I was wondering the whole time I was writing this if I could actually get people into this story, so it's nice to know that it worked on someone!

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Review #2, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Final Call

26th July 2013:
Aw... Poor Petunia!! :( All she wanted to do was celebrate her Anniversary, and go to Rome. And she couldn't even have that. :(

This is a wonderful piece, dear. It's truly just heart-breaking. And that's saying a LOT, because most people (myself included), never really feel any sympathy for Petunia. But you've managed to not only put me in her shoes, but to make me feel SORRY for her! That is truly amazing!

I really had my fingers crossed that she'd actually go to Rome (partially for Harry's sake, but mostly for hers)! I was so disappointed when she realized she didn't have her passport! I can just imagine the look on Vernon's face when she told him she'd gone to Rome while he was away!

All in all, this is a wonderfully well-written one-shot, and a great interpretation of the travel theme! Well done, dear!!

Author's Response: Yeah, writing such a sad ending was...well, sad. I always seem to lean that way with my stories. I didn't have any sympathy for Petunia before I started writing; in my opinion, her treatment of Harry is indefensible. But, as I wrote, I actually got to know her better. Understand why she was so sad and bitter. I love characters like her because there are so many levels to her that I got to explore. Thanks so much, Jayde. Compliments mean a lot coming from you! :)

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Review #3, by typewriter Final Call

25th July 2013:

This did something really special: it made me feel for Petunia. She's a character that I usually have absolutely no sympathy for, considering her mistreatment of a poor boy who couldn't help who his parents were nor the relationship she had with them. Nonetheless, I thought this was a very plausible situation for her to need to cope with, and I like the idea of her and Lily sharing a love of travel. I thought it was nice that she had a connection with the sister she was a bit jealous and hateful towards. It's obvious that she did, in fact, love Lily, despite the pains she goes through to hide it. I think you did a lovely job at capturing Petunia's personality, as well as Dudley's and Vernon's. Well done!


Author's Response: I agree; I felt the same way about Petunia as I set out to write this story. Fortunately, writing about her forced me to get to know her better. I thought about how painful it would be to not be able to go to Hogwarts when your sister got to go. It never crossed my mind for a moment that she doesn't love Lily. She clearly had a bond when they were young and that sort of thing doesn't just go away. While I think her treatment of Harry is indefensible, I do think there is a lot of tragedy in her life, so that is what I tried to capture. You do such a lovely job of explaining yourself in this review, and it has made me tremendously happy. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review it. You're fantastic.

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Review #4, by Ron 4 Hermione Final Call

14th July 2013:
Aww, poor Petunia! This makes me feel so sorry for her! I love the way you portray her and Vernon's relationship, it must be so hard for her living with someone who is that carer orientated and I think you got across the problems of there relationship perfectly.

I also loved your characterisation of Petunia, especially the way she thought of Harry. She still addressed him as boy but there seemed to be some affection shown, which I think ties in nicely with deathly hallows when Harry leaves and she goes to say something. Plus, the memories of her sister in this are happy ones which is nice because most fics portray her as hating her sister but I think she would have still loved her a bit.

The ending was great, the abruptness really fit the fic. The way she just suddenly can't go because she forgot her passport really tied in with the three short sentences at the end! You've did a great job with this! :)

Author's Response: Right? You want someone that cares about their career and supporting your family, but you don't want it to go quite THAT far. It's a tough line to walk. Yes, I tried to show glimmers of regret and affection. She's no angel, but not a horrible person either. Just sad. And kind of bitter. Oh, she definitely loves her. The only reason her bitterness and dislike seem so strong is because she's overcompensating for those feelings of love she still has. Thank you for this lovely, lovely review! :)

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Review #5, by AC_rules Final Call

13th July 2013:
Hi there Kira!

I love stories about Petunia, especially when they're done well, and this was done so well and I loved it! I've never read a first person from Petunia before but...ack, I think you captured her really well.

I can definitely imagine a young Petunia being impressed by Vernon's ability to think about the future (particularly after all the distinct oddness with her sister, and all that ewwy magic stuff ;) ) - I think security would definitely make her feel more grown up and safe. And then I can DEFO imagine eight years rolling round and Petunia beginning to regret that.

Actually, I can imagine Petunia regretting a lot of things. I believe she's a character who regretted how things ended up with her family and regretted her treatment of Harry, yet felt unable to snap out of that. I think this was a really lovely demonstration of this and ack, yeahh, loved it.

Brilliant entry


Author's Response: HI THERE!
1st person Petunia was HARD; I did not predict her many levels and emotions when I boarded this ship of a story. YES! Exactly. Wanting stability, but realizing all the things she missed out on. We see glimmers of her regret, but, you're right again, just can't snap completely out of it. Such a great review. You have a real talent for pinpointing things just...thanks. Thank you!

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Review #6, by EnigmaticEyes16 Final Call

13th July 2013:
Aww, that was really sad. Part of me always wants to like Petunia, and this story makes me want to like her even more. She just wants to travel and see the world, and that's not a bad thing to want. I think it was very typical Vernon to just storm over her with his excitement, so much that he forgets something like their anniversary. I also enjoyed the comment made about him not liking romantic getaways, I can see that, I can see him complaining about what "hosh posh" it would be. He always acts like work is the most important thing, that and being "normal."

I'm surprised that she took Harry with her. I could've seen her trying to convince Mrs. Figg to take him in but she probably wouldn't want to cause a scene... I think you're description of young Harry was pretty good, I picture him as a quiet child, not out to purposely cause a problem. You did young Dudley also very well. I laughed at the thought of his demands of wanting his "art" on the floor to remain vying with Petunia's instinct to clean up a mess, sounds exactly like them.

All in all I really liked this story. I think you did a wonderful job with the characters. And there's more I could say, but I'm just gonna end this here.


Author's Response: Hosh Posh! Exactly. He would say that. His priorities are very messed up. He does want to support his family which is good, but he is missing what it really important. Kind of like Mr. Banks in Mary Poppins..but I digress. Their family dynamic was actually quite easy to write which surprised me, and I am very glad you thought it worked! Thanks so much for everything you said. It really means a lot to me.

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Review #7, by Cassius Alcinder Final Call

13th July 2013:
I have to say, this portrayal of Petunia was very touching. When we see her from Harry's perspective in the books, she doesn't seem very sympathetic or likable at all, but here you were able to plausibly explore a side of her that we don't really see, but that seems to fit well with her character.

On the surface, Petunia seems to have everything she needs, decent house, stable marriage, but on the other hand, it's kind of sad that she's missing the spark and spontaneity. the part about the passport was a nice touch, showing how reality was reeling her back in.

Good work!

Author's Response: You phrased this really well! Right, she feels like if her environment shows stability, then she'll feel it on the inside as well. "Reeling her back in." Great way to put that. just get it. Thanks so much for the review! Great stuff!

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Review #8, by louise_loves_hp Final Call

13th July 2013:
This was a very touching piece. I loved how much you showed that you understand Petunia. With knowing what we do but also it being years before we meet her, you allowed her to show those sides of her. Also with the way she feels about Lily and in turn Harry, you left that door open.
The line about being positive with Dudley really stood out to me but also it made me think. Your right! I had never seen it that way before.
But your Vernon was classic!!

Author's Response: I think I do understand her, actually, I found that we had a lot of scary as that is. Yeah, they try to be positive, but really mess up the line between that and spoiling. I figure they do want what's best for him. I feel like Petunia wants to make up for them not being magical, so she wants to give him everything they can in the non-magical world. Vernon...classic indeed. I didn't see a lot of depth there to play with. Thanks so much for reading! Way to go in the Cup!

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Review #9, by True Author Final Call

13th July 2013:
Hello! Here for Review-a-thon!

Petunia Dursely was probably my least favorite character from the HP world. The way she treated Harry was disgusting. Maybe that's why no one around here tries to explore her or write her as the central character. I have a thing for such characters. So I loved that you dared to write about Petunia. :)

The best thing here was your plot. It's originality makes it really interesting. Petunia's characterization was well too. Though I thought you should correct a few small typos you have here and there.
OMG Harry was so cute! I love him here. :D
Good job my dear!


Author's Response: The Review-a-Thon is so awesome!!! I'm getting such wonderful ones! Petunia is a piece of work to be sure, and I was worried about writing her for sure. I wanted to give her a voice, and it was one that often surprised me. Oh, I'm sure there are typos galore; I wrote this so fast...too fast. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I appreciate it so much!!!

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Review #10, by Athene Goodstrength Final Call

13th July 2013:
Here from the House Cup!

This is such a creative and unexpected take on the 'travel' theme, this story really caught my eye. There is something deeply sad about Petunia Dursley, and I think you capture that really well here. She has a sort of vain impotence about her, and although you include moments that remind us why we dislike her (thinking of Harry as 'the boy', and her incessant need to keep up with the Joneses), you do a really good job of making us see her restricted, unmagical world through her eyes. I really felt sorry for her.

The moment where young Harry lays a hand on her shoulder is so unexpected and so sweet... I just love him so much. It made me wonder how on earth, after this escapade, she could go back to being so awful to him, but then I thought that she's probably ashamed about her failed attempt at doing something good for them both. We know from her relationship with Lily that Petunia's reaction to embarrassment and loss is to become aggressive and bury herself in the mundane normality of Dursley life (which is exactly how you close the story!).

You did a really good job with the characterisation here, and I enjoyed reading this. I think my favourite thing about it is the sad contrast you draw between one sister who only lived for 21 years and yet had more of a life than her older sister, who has a life and a family, and has barely lived at all. Well done :)

Athene xo

Author's Response: I felt sorry for her too while writing and that was surprising considering that I find her insufferable in most of the books. So many words from your review just pop and make me feel like you really "got" this story. Unmagical. Restricted. Mundane. Ah...yes! How it seemed like her sister lived a much fuller life than she did! Wonderful! You are so insightful! Thank you!

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Review #11, by Juicey_Moosey Final Call

13th July 2013:
Hello! I'm coming from the House Cup Review-a-thon!
(Just to warn you, I haven't reviewed in ages, so I'm sorry if it's not particularly helpful!)

Okay, so I really like your idea for the story, I think it's really creative, and not something many people would think of!

I think your characterisation was excellent, and Petunia really was believable, and I really started to feel sorry for her, and I just wanted to give her a hug by the end!

There was only one mistakey/typo thingy that I could see, which was "but I know that Perry will havesomething planned" so if you do get a chance, just put a little space in there, but other then that, it was perfect!

Congratulations on writing an entry in time, especially as it's so good!

Author's Response: I knew right away that I had to write something for the Cup. I tried to help in all the events, but I'm just really bad and finding things, but I knew that I could write something so this was the perfect task for me! I was surprised how much I connected with Petunia too as I wrote her considering she's never been my favorite character, just interesting. Oops! Better get that space bar out! Aw...thanks! You're so sweet! Thank you!

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Review #12, by CharlieDay Final Call

13th July 2013:

I really liked the fact that this story was about Petunia. She is a very under appreciated character, who is always extremely interesting to read about, particularly as JKR gave her such a fascinating backstory. She is one of the few 'bad' characters in HP that I totally sympathise with!

And this, this was so sad! I so so wanted Petunia just to go away, to escape! I can imagine that she felt so trapped in that suburban life, and that Vernon just /would/ forget things like their anniversary.

Your writing style is just wonderful. You show emotion very well- you subtly show how Petunia is feeling through her actions and thoughts, rather than making her think 'I am angry.' I also liked your portrayal of their neighbour Marcy McArthur- she is just the type of person who inhabits the sort of atmosphere I imagine Privet Drive to be.

My only issue with this story was that there were a few very strong 'Americanism' moments; you used the word 'vacation' a couple of times, and there were a few other things which I forget now that just didn't seem very English. Of course, having Americanisms is really all down to personal preference, but I just thought I'd mention it :)

I think you portrayed Petunia and her confusion, her near-ignorance concerning Harry and just generally her beautifully. Like I said, I was rooting for her all the way, from having Vernon surprise her with something fantastic for their anniversary to going away on holiday with Harry!

Thank you so much for the lovely read,

Author's Response: Hello!!! Yeah, I feel that way about Petunia as well. Not necessarily likable (which contributes to her being unpopular) but interesting as heck. Fascinating indeed. I feel like I just connect with her for some reason. Yeah, I had the same feelings about Privet Drive; just everyone trying to keep up with and beat each other. Goodness, I know. I'm an American and didn't have enough time (House Cup!) to do proper research. I should have said "holiday" shouldn't I have? Those types of things are all over all my stories, I'm sure, and probably the only way I'll get better is if someone points them out, so thank you! It was hard to get people to root for Petunia, and I wondered after I posted whether I expected to much of my readers, but you guys came through just like I thought you would! What a great review! Thank you!

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Review #13, by missclaire17 Final Call

13th July 2013:
Wow, this story really hit me. So many parts of it were just SO Petunia: secretly worrying about the Dudley's mess, her insecurities, the way that Vernon really doesn't treat Petunia that well, how she felt guilty about Harry, how she could still recognize the good parts in Harry like how he was well-behaved... Not to mention, at the end, as sad as it was that they didn't actually go, Petunia's reflections on how poorly prepared she was really sounded like things she'd worry about.

Wonderful job with this story!(:

Author's Response: Petunia! That lady has SO much going on, I could barely believe it when I actually started writing. I tried to leave little snatches of everything throughout the story, so it means a lot that you picked up on so many! I didn't want her to come off as cruel, or as an angel; just someone confused as to how they got where they were in life. And how she wanted so much of what she had, but didn't want it at the same time. The point is; so glad you think this all worked! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

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Review #14, by ScarletEye158 Final Call

13th July 2013:
Wow, I really enjoyed this one-shot! I haven't read many Petunia stories but I thought your characterization of her was really well written and planned out and I actually felt really sorry for her :(

The fact that Vernon forgot their anniversary makes me really mad. How could you forget after 8 years? What a jerk! and then he just takes Dudley away for a few days and doesn't even tell her much about the plans? That's a big 'no no' on a husband's part, I think! :P

I'm really glad Petunia had that spontaneous moment of wanting to go to Italy. I wouldn't ever want to travel by myself, but that was her dream and she wanted to do it so bravo for her! I love how we got to see what she really felt for Harry, too. The little pangs of guilt for him, the thinking of him as not too bad and well behaved... I liked this side of Petunia. It makes me feel like she was only really harsh on him when Vernon was around and that she did have a soft spot for her sisters son :)

Gahhh it sucks that she didn't get to go on the trip! She was soo excited, too! I'm really proud of her for trying though, not many people would have the guts to do things like that so randomly! Harry's little touch of her arm made me all sad and happy at the same time. Sad because he obviously wanted to comfort her and was a little afraid to do it but happy that he tried to make an effort and the fact that she let him. It was really sweet :)

This really was lovely and I'm really glad I got to read it :)


Author's Response: Neither have I, which is why I wanted to give it a shot. I felt sorry for her too, which was surprising. I'm definitely not Petunia's biggest fan but, as someone who feels overshadowed by their own sister, I'm finding we have more in common than I thought. Ugh, Vernon. Please. Can't he just get it together. He thinks the wrong things are important. I think Petunia does have a soft spot; I've wondered for ages what it was that she wanted to say to Harry before leaving in DH. Something nice, I feel.. I know...that little touch. Said so much. Harry is such a good kid; I wish they could have worked out a way to be closer...
Thanks so much for this stellar review! You're great!

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Review #15, by PolyJuice_ Final Call

13th July 2013:
Wow, great husband you are, Vernon (LOL, wrote Vermin, orginally. Suitable typo, I think) I've never really been a huge Petunia fan, but I've always kept an open mind, as I know a fantastic writer can make me love anything.

I can easily say you've made me love her in your story. I've rarely seen her as a victim, and almost never seen it done well. I read this about four times, and loved it more each time.

The ending made me want to run around in circles and hit things. Why? Poor woman, poor Harry! They deserve vacations, they deserve fun, they don't need a horrible man like Vermin to dictate what they do, Petunia doesn't need that little brat of a son t-- ahem. Sorry. :p

All in all, I loved it. It was completely original and the piece at the start with the neighbor was gold.

Great job,


HC ~ 2013 ~ Slytherin

Author's Response: Vermin indeed! It's like, come on man. Get it together. His priorities are so messed up. Four times? Seriously? *Sniff* That is so sweet for you to say. I know...this story made me super sad as well. I wanted to let her get on the plane at the end but...just couldn't. The story had to be told the way it was.

Thank you so much for all your kind words. Slytherin did a great job in the Cup. Such perseverance! :D

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Review #16, by Trundlebug Final Call

13th July 2013:
I love the picture you have painted here. Petunia is such an understated character and I always kind of wished that JKR had more time to devote to her.

It was also very interesting the way you wrote her thoughts about Harry and Lily. I never bought the idea that the Dursleys were always terrible to Harry; there had to be good moments, even if they were fleeting. And Petunia, in particular, I always felt would have at least mild misgivings about the way they treated him.

The writing was superb, and the subject matter was well-invoked. I love stories that are all about someone's private thoughts, like little glimpses into the real people of the stories we all love. You told it nicely, and I really felt a lot of sympathy for this minor character and the very real, if not simple, ordeals she must have faced. We don't all have a Dark Lord to beat, but life is still hard all around.

Good Story


Author's Response: I know.but Ms. Rowling had so much else to do! I thought I'd give Petunia a voice and see what came of it. Yeah, I always felt that she'd have to feel SOMETHING for Harry. I don't particularly get along with my sister, but I could never do that to her kid...just never. So, I figured it was something deeper. Yeah, I love the private thoughts thing too. I wanted to explore what was really going on there. Wow, what an amazing way to phrase it; the whole "Dark Lord" line. It's true. Sometimes it takes courage just to get up and face another day of your own life.


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Review #17, by HollyStone73 Final Call

13th July 2013:
This is so adorable while at the same time kinda sad. It is so evident how miserable Petunia is in her marriage and life so this attempt to escape and do something crazy is great. I love that she was even going to bring Harry with her! That was my favorite part of it which made it all the more sad when she backed out of the trip. Although the touching moment when Harry touched her shoulder was too sweet. Very well written! Great to read!

Author's Response: Escape is a great word for this. And a potential title I played around with! I connected with Petunia a lot because I often fantasize about doing crazy things, but never seem to find the courage. For some reason, she just never was going to make it on the trip. I feel that even if she had her passport, she might have talked herself out of it anyway. I'm glad I could sprinkle in some sweet moments despite it being sad. Thanks so much for everything!

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Review #18, by Siriuslover177 Final Call

13th July 2013:
Oh my goodness. That was just so upsetting )':
I really, really wish that she could have gotten on that plane, and went to the trip.
Vernon is just so, ugh! He forgot their anniversary, and is just terrible to her.
I really feel bad for her. But this was a great story.
I really did like it.


Author's Response: I wish she could have to..and part of me almost let her. But, I changed my mind and decided to keep it sad instead. It always seems like I'm making that choice. Yeah, Vernon, I didn't dig into too much. I couldn't see much depth there. He does want what's best for his family, he just doesn't understand, well, most things. I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you!

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Review #19, by DumbledoresArmyOfOne Final Call

13th July 2013:
This is a really interesting spin on the travel prompt, and I'm really impressed at the depth of character you managed to give such a universally disliked person in such a short bit of writing. It was rather heartbreaking, that ending, to see how unhappy Petunia is. Also, the Travel Book was such a marvelous idea, and it makes me so sad to think about all those empty pages, that neither of them could fill.
Congratulations on writing a wonderful story. you should be really proud of this piece!

Author's Response: I was going for something different, and I'm actually impressed that this turned out the way it did. I was worried. Writing Petunia was a bigger undertaking than I really understood. Oh...goodness...the pages neither of them could fill. *Sob* What a way to put that. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story; thanks for reviewing!

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Review #20, by mugglemama Final Call

13th July 2013:
poor Petunia...but it couldn't bring her any closer to loving Harry

Author's Response: What a sad thought.thanks for reading and reviewing! :)

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Review #21, by LilyEPotter Final Call

12th July 2013:
Hi! Here for the House Cup Review!

This story definitely makes you feel for Petunia with a small glimpse into her life - the inner struggle she faces with her views of raising Dudley versus Vernon's, her guilt over how harry is treated and Vernon forgetting their anniversary.

Great story!

Author's Response: Thanks!!! The HC has brought me so many great reviews! I tried to flesh out what Petunia's life is really like, so I'm glad you thought it worked! Thanks for taking the time to read!

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Review #22, by Beeezie Final Call

12th July 2013:
I really enjoyed this story. I like it when authors delve into the Dursley family dynamics, especially when they focus on Petunia - it wasn't really explored in the books since they're from Harry's perspective and he (quite reasonably) was not very fond of them. However, Harry's not liking them very much doesn't mean that they aren't interesting, multi-faceted characters, which I feel like you displayed beautifully here.

I thought you struck a nice balance between showing the Petunia we typically saw in the books and a more vulnerable Petunia. The beginning in particular struck a great balance between the two. I can easily see Petunia being a bit haughty in the way you depicted, especially when she was already feeling vulnerable and someone else was throwing their accomplishments in her face. I also loved the way she rationalised not having romantic getaways, which she's clearly a little envious of - "Vernon is too important," indeed.

The glimpse we get of Dudley is also perfect. You didn't overdo it by making him seem malicious or evil - he's just clearly very, very spoilt, and it's easy to see how he got that way from Petunia's thoughts. She's clearly making a choice to placate her son rather than set boundaries, and if that's the way she and Vernon raised him, it's no wonder he got so self-centered.

I also liked the manic race to the airport, and the frantic attempts to book the tickets. It broke my heart that she didn't have a passport, because she was so clearly excited and fighting back. :( In a way, though, that ending fit Petunia, too - she had a lot of moments of just barely missing out, didn't she?

My only issue was that it seemed a bit too bleak in some ways. I felt terrible for Petunia, first when Vernon forgot their anniversary and then when she couldn't get to Italy, especially because I didn't really see much indication that she liked any part of her life. That doesn't seem realistic to me - I'm sure that there were a lot of things she regrets and wishes she'd done differently, but I have a hard time believing that she was quite so despondent.

Overall, though, you did a great job and I really enjoyed the story!

House Cup 2013 - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: WOW! You Claws really leave the nicest reviews! Look how big it is! Thanks!
That balance was, by far, the hardest part. I wanted to make her identifiable, but didn't want people to think that I see her as some kind of angel. Not true. She has issues, and those have to be acknowledged. I tried to do the same with Dudley. He's not perfect, but it's probably not really his fault he turned out the way he does; his parents really spoil him. He always really surprised me when he shook Harry's hand in DH. Said a lot about his character.

Gah, what a great way to put it! A lot of moments of missing out. Indeed. That sums her up, or at least the way I understand her.

It WAS bleak, wasn't it. I really didn't intend it to be that way when I started out...but yeah, I'm always going for the tearjerker. She was complicated, and I'm sure everything didn't turn out the way it should of. I was a tad rushed for the HC, but maybe I'll modify it somewhere in the future. Great insight!

Thanks for everything! Way to go in the Cup!

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Review #23, by LittleLionGirl Final Call

12th July 2013:
Oh my goodness this was amazing I just have to say. I love how you somehow seemed to capture Petunia so perfectly, which must be very hard I am sure. I didn't think I would like this all too much to be honest (I am not a Petunia person you see) but it was just well written Not to mention sad :/ Amazing none the less!

Author's Response: She WAS difficult! Threw me for a loop because I wasn't expecting it when I set out to write. So glad it turned out the way it did...impressed as well. I don't think many people are Petunia people, I'm sure not, but I just wanted to experiment and I guess it churned out something decent! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. So kind, so helpful!

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Review #24, by marauderfan Final Call

12th July 2013:
This was so sad! :( I really loved your characterisation of Petunia, I felt so badly for her - with Vernon's self-absorbedness in the beginning, and then in the end when Petunia's plans fell through. I think the descriptions you made of why she is so obsessed with cleanliness made a lot of sense too - its the one thing she feels she can control.

I think you perfectly captured Petunia's naturally jealous personality, with her comments about Marcy and Lily. But you also showed her sensitive side, and that as much as she says she doesn't, she clearly cares about Harry at least a little. I loved the line when Petunia is describing how Harry would be excited about flying in a plane, because he loves riding in cars. I thought it was really cute - despite that the trip isn't about Harry at all, she can still see him enjoying it. And I think Harry was perfect too, I loved when he just touched her shoulder at the end.

Wonderful job on this, your writing is amazing!



Now that the Cup is over, I have time to respong to all of these! Yay for Puffs! I'd say I can't believe we won, but I totally CAN. We were all awesome!!! PROUD, PROUD, PROUD! Ah, yes the cleanliness is all about control! You hit the nail right on the head! She does care, she just buries it because she feels she has to to fit into the world she's created with Vernon. Yeah, Harry's a sweet kid, well, I've always thought he was. honored to be left such a sweet review from such a sweet Puff. I love you guys!

Thank you!

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Review #25, by Wistful Final Call

12th July 2013:
I have to begin by saying this was so, so good. Everything was impeccable - characterization, flow, grammar - just about everything.

Characterization. I could go on about your characterization forever. Petunia's character is something often disregarded and kept very flat, but in this story, you brought out all those dimensions. You didn't only highlight the negatives, or likewise, you didn't just gloss over her apparent flaws. From the first word to the last, readers could really see Petunia with her virtues and flaws - the bad and the good. We know from the books she sometimes gave over to jealousy and cared a great deal about appearances. In the beginning, I could see the slight pangs of bitterness and jealousy that this vacation was something her friend could have and she couldn't, and this was what led to her remarking about the lack of children - an equivelant to being jealous about Lily going off to Hogwarts and calling her a 'freak'. Although Lily and Petunia's relationship was never completely repaired, I wonder if the same applies for Marcy.

Then there's the cleaning - it goes along the same lines of caring about appearances. Petunia liked cleanliness, order, and she had Harry step aside so she could plunge in familiar routine. She liked that some things always remained constant such as the dishes.But then there was that romantic, almost 'Lily' part of her that wants to be like Marcy, wants to forget she has responsibilities, wants travel the world. And Petunia's relationship with her family. You can tell she loves Dudley and cares from him the way she speaks to him, talked about him with Marcy, and just the way she thinks about him. Vernon is on more watery waters if that makes sense. She loves him, I can tell. I know love is defined about a journey of security and safety as well as feelings, and I think he signifies more of the security bit of the definition. And with Lily - just keeping the book - that tells you everything. Going back to the jealously and inner-sentimental "felt prettier then Lily" is a fantastic example of both - she was jealous of Lily, and her wedding day was the one day she felt prettier. And with Harry - her intentions to take him to Italy, to make up for everything.

I just wanted to say your portrayed little Harry perfectly. Quiet, held back, - I just fell in love when he said he didn't have things and in the end when he touched Petunia's shoulder. Harry, when he gets older, is always very tuned in into his emotions (anger sometimes as he grows older) and this was a brilliant foreshadow of that.

I was hanging on every moment, and my heart absolutely broke at the end.

The last line?



Author's Response: Look at this beast of a review! And so wonderful and kind! You really make me feel really special and like an actual writer! You really captured what it was I was trying to do here. Petunia is no angel, that's for sure, but I also wanted people to be able to relate to her. It was an interesting line to walk, and I underestimated how complicated it would be to write Petunia. This turned out way sadder than I meant it to, but somehow I couldn't have it end any other way. It was heartbreaking...made me think about all the places I've never been.

*Sob* This review is so beautiful, it's making me emotional. Thank you so much for writing such a nice review.



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