Reading Reviews for Beat It
  
71 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TreacleTart A Wasps Attention

10th March 2015:
Hi alicia and anne,

A bit ago you and I swapped reviews. I read your prologue for The Unspeakables, but I felt bad because I didn't realize it was so short until I was about halfway through. In your author's notes you mentioned that it was linked to this story, so I thought I would check it out as well.

I really like the way you've written Roxanne Weasley. She has a bit of sassiness and cleverness to her. The way she handles Jason seemed very natural. The banter between them was just right.

I also like how you've built the dynamic for a Romeo and Juliet type story. Jason and Roxanne are on two opposing teams. Not only that, but their teams are bitter rivals. At even the hint of interest, Roxanne is quickly reminded not to get involved because of the team rivalry.

I do have a bit of a critique in regards to grammar.

In several cases you use "I'll" incorrectly. An example of this is "“Do you think that I’ll be sitting with them when there’s an attractive woman at the bar?” Jason asked with a smirk I think it should be “Do you think that I would be sitting with them….”

You have missing apostrophes. An example of this is "Roxanne gave a laugh at her friends comment," It should read “Friend’s comment”.

In this sentence you wrote "There wasn’t a week that went passed where Jason" It should be either “week that passed” or “week that went past”

You wrote "relationship between the two is going to be anything but a mistake" I think this should say "between you two"

You wrote "“I’m not denying that he’s not nice to look at” The double negatives make it sound as if she thinks he is unattractive. It should read "I'm not denying that he's nice to looks at."

You wrote "handle himself if one of them tried to start and argument or a fight with him" I think this was just a typo, but it should say "start AN argument"

Overall, I really enjoyed the start of this story and am just nitpicking at details. I think you have a well developed character and the potential for a very interesting story line.

I'm looking forward to reading more!

~Kaitlin

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Review #2, by james101 Saying Goodbye

25th February 2015:
Whoa...2 chapters in 2 days.You have my congrats.

Moving on im fairly sure that james is not dead since William was adamant about it...Also because James is/was a powerful wizard since he's an unspeakable and therefore must have done the spell with William correctly even though they were in 7th year and drunk.

Jason was an absolutely brilliant guy for Roxanne;even Dominique seemed to think so.

The kids were all adorable sice half of them gave Jason a fistbump.So nice touch there...

I really do hate Leanne Walsh.Enough said on her?

It was incredible when at the end Albus and Fred repaired their broken relationship with a hug.Nice little bromance going on there.Hopefully there'll be more scenes on the 2 of them just hanging out instead of avoiding eachother.They are after all cousins.I can honestly say that I thought Albus would start yelling at Fred in front of Lee,the other kids and the rest of the family but it didn't really turn out that way,did it?

Overall it was a little sad with Roxanne,Lily,Harry,Ron and a few other people being upset but it was still brillaint...

NICE JOB (::) (::) ; D

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Review #3, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Saying Goodbye

22nd February 2015:
Okay. First of all, I have a lot of feelings right now. Two, I know too much about your characters. For both reasons, this review will probably be really small.

BUT OH MY GOD, SUCH SADNESS. ;(

I'd never wear that dress again if I was Roxanne. Too many memories. I'd cry every time I thought of James.

Aww, look at Jason. Being there for Roxanne, even going to the house and looking after the kids. No one can deny their love now.

*AVOIDS ALL THE THINGS IN THE MIDDLE THAT SAM CANT TALK ABOUT AND BE HAPPY*

Henry is so adorable. As is Lee. All the kids are.

UNCLE JASON! AHHH!!! *loves*

I'm still sad, but also a little happy. And I'll take the chocolates of forgiveness now.

Sam.

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Review #4, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Hugo

22nd February 2015:
Richard needs to pay. And Hugo needs to wake up. Please wake him up. :(

I'm so proud of him for saving Scorpius. Wish it had ended differently, though. I hope Scorpius is okay.

I miss James. He's barely gone and I miss him so much. *huggles James*

Poor Roxanne. But at least she has Jason. And she does have him now, there is nothing she or anyone can say that will take him away from her. They're together forever and ever and ever.

Roxanne and Jason and Winston a happy family of three. At least until they get their Quidditch team of kids.

Sam.

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Review #5, by TheHeirOfSlytherin What happened?

22nd February 2015:
Oh, thank God she's alright. I almost had a heart attack, thinking the worse. But she's fine, Jason's fine. Everyone had better be -

HUGO!!! ;(

No. Just no. No. No. No. I refuse to believe you. No.

No one else, though... right. You haven't taken someone else away from me.

JAMES!!! *cries*

I do not accept your chocolates of forgiveness. I must go away and cry now...

I love this story, I do. It's awesome and brilliant and any other words you wanna use. But there's only so much pain a Sam can take.

Sam.

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Review #6, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Wasps v Arrows

22nd February 2015:
Rituals and traditions are important. Silly right now, considering the threat they're under, but I understand Roxanne's need to go for her walk and right now I'm thinking she should go. Yes. Let her go...

BECAUSE WHO IS THAT LOOKING FOR HER? JASON, THATS WHO.

Aww, finally! She knows it isn't true and now they get it on. (Totally did not since that last bit in the style of Hot Chocolate's You Sexy Thing... much.)

Look at them. Just can't keep their hands off each other. :D

Uh oh. She gots a bad look.

And now for the game. Where all the bad things will happen because they have to pretend they don't like each other.

WHAT? NO! Not the fighting. Screaming. RUN GUYS. ;(

By golly, you sure do know how to make me sad.

Sam.

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Review #7, by TheHeirOfSlytherin The Article

22nd February 2015:
Aww, Violet. I hope they get the guy who's been a stalking it. She's too awesome to be so scared of being alone. I'll beat the guy up with Jerome. *cracks knuckles*

Roxanne needs to tell Violet about Jason. They're best friends, she'll understand.

NO. NO, HE DID NOT USE YOU AND THEN CHEAT ON YOU WITH SOME OTHER WOMAN. NO, ROXANNE. YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO LISTEN TO THE MEDIA. SILLY BILLY.

I don't want her to hurt him. I want her to marry him and have a Quidditch team of kids.

I wish she hadn't thrown his letters away.

Oh, James. Don't say good bye. ;(

I'm both sad and happy right now.

Sam.

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Review #8, by Ada Hugo

21st February 2015:
I love Hermione's faith in Hugo's recovery.
I'm glad to see Roxanne feeling safe and cared with Jason ...and Winston. That dog is so cute!

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Review #9, by Ada Saying Goodbye

21st February 2015:
WOW - Thank you- 2 new chapters.This is awesome!!!
You did make me cry a little bit, but I hope that James is not gone, for two reasons:
- Abigail was not there
- William ( James' s blood brother) did not feel it.
As always, Jason is sooo cute and nice; I love when he said that Roxanne will do fine giving birth to their kids. :)
Also that he admitted that he have fallen so much in love with her.
Update soon, if you can, just because this is such a nice story!

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Review #10, by james101 What happened?

13th February 2015:
Update soon please. ;D Oh and i read the other story about James and it had a brilliant first chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you! :D I'm so glad that you liked it. I am just trying to sort out my plans and then I can update, I'm hoping that it won't be too long a wait.

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Review #11, by James101 What happened?

26th January 2015:
Roxanne said in the other chapter that james sounded like he was saying goodbye.
Maybe this is some elaborate ploy that has something to do with the mysterious job he has.
I cant wait for the seperate story about james ; )
Thanks for replying in good time!

Author's Response: Yep! Is it an elaborate ploy to do with his job? It may very well be, it also may not... :P The James story is already up! It's called The Unspeakable and it's on my page.

Thank you James101!


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Review #12, by James101 What happened?

25th January 2015:
Oh no poor james.
why did he die
please upadate soon #desperate

Author's Response: I'm so mean! But did he? Did he not? Updates will be soon! Thank you so much James101!

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Review #13, by AdinaPuff What happened?

23rd January 2015:
OMG OMG OMG TAMMI YOU DIDN'T

Ugh. I know this has something to do with James's job, I knew that for a while. But ugh this confirmed it I think and just it's so sad.

Thank goodness for Sydney. He's my new hero. Just saying.

It was nice to see Fred concerned about Roxxie. I mean yes he is her brother but they fight a lot and that doesn't mean that they care but it's nice to see a softer side.

Poor Jason not being able to rush over and help her and make sure she's okay. And then having to be quiet about coming to the hospital.

Oh poor Hugo. I hope he gets out of his coma.

WAIT WAIT WAIT

Isn't this story connected to The Adventures of Abigail Higgs and Potter Boy (which I REALLY need to catch up on)?! DOES THAT MEAN THAT ABIGAIL IS GOING TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH JAMES BEING GONE?! I mean I don't know what their relationship is like at this point but ugh it's so sad. Poor Roxxie and the whole family oh my gosh. I just can't handle the feels.

I find comfort in your A/N though. It's not how it seems? I certainly hope not. I love James omg no.

Okay great chapter as always! :D

-Leigh xxx

Author's Response: I'M SORRY LEIGH!!! BUT I DID!! I'm a terrible person!

Yep, it's to do with James' job and I'm sad too.

Yes! It's a good thing that Sydney was there otherwise Roxanne would probably have hurt herself beyond help. He's my hero too :D We should give him a knighthood.

Fred, although is a massive jerk at times, does love his sister a lot, even if they do fight all the time.

Jason could only watch from a distance, so it's good that his best friend Sydney was there to save the love of his life. If only the ban wasn't there, they would be able to see each other without fear of repurcussions.

I'm just being mean to everyone in this chapter, absolutely everyone!

IT IS CONNECTED!!! :D As for that question. I shall not say! haha :D So many feels!

Thank you so much Leigh! You're awesome! *squishes you so tightly*


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Review #14, by fangirlfanatic Wasps v Arrows

20th January 2015:
I am so mad at you right now... Really? A cliffhanger? And a juicy one at that. Love the chemistry between Roxanne and Jason, he said the l... Word :)

Author's Response: I'm sorry! Please don't be too mad at me :P Oh yes! Jason said the L word
I'm writing the next chapter as we speak! :D


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Review #15, by Ada Wasps v Arrows

19th January 2015:
I hope Jason will chatch her...and both teams are fine.
Please update faster - I waited so long for chapter 16!

Author's Response: I'm so sorry about the wait :( I feel bad! But I'm writing the next chapter now, so it shouldn't be too long to wait, all will be revealed!

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Review #16, by Molly_Weasley Wasps v Arrows

19th January 2015:
I love this story so much. Jason and Roxanne! Thank you so much for updating. Even though the cliffhanger was horrible. Please, please, please update soon!

Author's Response: Aww yay! I'm so glad! and you're welcome! I promise it won't be too long before the next update, I've begun the next chapter now

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Review #17, by Georgie Wasps v Arrows

19th January 2015:
Yay! You updated! it made me so happy that u updated again ! When will we expect another chapter? Love u! Your the best!👍

Author's Response: I did update! I'm so glad that I made you happy! And I'm hoping the next chapter will be in the next few days *fingers crossed* Aww I love you! You're the best! :D

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Review #18, by G Wasps v Arrows

18th January 2015:
Oh no!!! I have such a love/hate relationship with cliffhangers, they're so exciting but I don't want to wait for the next chapter... Update soon please

Author's Response: Haha cliffhangers are so evil! The next chapter will be up soon, I'm writing it as we speak!

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Review #19, by AdinaPuff Wasps v Arrows

18th January 2015:
Oh my gosh it's dedicated to me. Thank you!

Phew. Thank you Jerome for letting her out of there and seeing Jason before the match. I knew that if she went out there without speaking to him, it would be bad. But they saw each other and he explained. I pray that he was telling the truth. I really hope so.

But her head was in the game and she was doing good. I had to reread that last part--what's going on?! I bet it had something to do with Gerald's odd look he gave Roxanne just before the match. I hope Roxanne's okay! Where's Jason?! Oh my gosh what's going on. I wonder who could be attacking them. I can't really think of anyone other than maybe Gerald but that doesn't make sense. But it could. Oh I dont know! I'm dying to figure it out. I can't wait for the next chapter!

Thanks so so much for updating and dedicating it to me! All I really did was ask for an update :p but I'm happy to help push you towards writing.

Great chapter!

-Leigh xxx

Author's Response: It is dedicated to you! Because you're so awesome! :D

Jerome knows that she needs to get out. And you're right if she did go out without talking to Jason she would have hurt him so badly. But he did explain!

Yes, her head was definitely in the game after seeing Jason.

Oh the looks from Gerald, that's explained in the next chapter. It's not Gerald attacking them, but it is someone. I have so much planned for future chapters!

You're welcome Leigh! How could I not when you're so awesome! :D You can always push me towards updating :P

xxx


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Review #20, by elena Wasps v Arrows

18th January 2015:
ugh
not cool
leaving me with a cliffhanger like that. I WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT NOW!!
ehem, sorry, but I really do want to know what happens next, other than that it was an excellent chapter, I'm a little surprised by roxanne, it would definitely mess with my pregame ritual to hook up with my opponent but hey, whatever floats her boat!
update soon please! I adore this story!

Author's Response: I'm sorry! I am so sorry for the cliffhanger :P You will find out as soon as possible, I'm writing the next chapter now so it should be hopefully today or tomorrow. Ah yes, Roxanne's actions are a big surprise :D
Thank you so much Elena! I adore you!


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Review #21, by AdinaPuff The Article

1st December 2014:
Hi!

so I love this story so much! You have that perfect mix of adult angst, romance, and I'm sensing some darkness as well. What's up with James? Violet? And I'm still hung up on Winston not barking when Roxanne knocks. I'm sure the article is a misunderstanding. He's already told her to not believe what the press says. But here she goes, assuming.

I can't wait for the next chapter. PLEASE UPDATE SOON I BEG OF YOU

-Leigh

Author's Response: HEY LEIGH!

Thank you so much! I love hearing that people enjoy my stories, especially this one as I enjoy writing it so much. There is some darkness and angst coming up, but also romance. I'm glad that you're enjoying it all :D Awww Winston, I love writing Winston haha.
As for the article, it'll be explored in the next chapter, which is going to be very big actually. A lot is going on.

Thank you hun! I'm going to update soon! I've begun writing the next chapter so it should be up in the next few days xxx


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Review #22, by Molly_Weasley The Article

28th November 2014:
I love this story so much. It makes me so happy. (Even though I was really sad that there was no Jason/Roxanne.) Thank you so much for updating! I can't wait to see what happens.

Author's Response: Awww thank you :D I'm so glad that you love this so much. Don't worry! There will be Jason/Roxanne in the next chapter! Hopefully the update will be a lot sooner :D Thank you so much! :D

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Review #23, by Ada The Stalker

18th November 2014:
I love this story and I check for updates everyday.
Please write more...
Thanks for sharing this story with us!

Author's Response: Awww thank you! I am writing more of this story, so I'm hoping for another update soon. :D

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Review #24, by Maggie The Stalker

4th October 2014:
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!I JUST READ THIS STORY FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I ABSOLUTLY LOVE IT! WITH THE NEXT GENERATION, EVERYONE FOUCSES ON HARRY AND GINNY'S KIDS AND RON AND HERMIONE'S KIDS! IT IS NICE THAT SOMEONE IS FINALLY FOUCSING ON SOMEONE ELSE FOR A CHANGE! I LOVE HOW THEIR TEAMS ARE ENIMIES AND THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE TOGETHER! IT ADDS TO THE DRAMA SO MUCH! I HATE JASON'S MUM! SHE IS A HORRIBLE WOMAN! JASON SEEMS SO SWEET AND HE SEEMS TO LIKE ROXANNE ALOT! THIS IS PROBABLY ONE OF MY FAVOURITE STORIES! I LOVE IT SO MUCH! WHEN WILL WE EXPECT ANOTHER CHAPTER? PLEASE UPDATE SOON BECAUSE THIS STORY IS SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, GOOD! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE,PLEASE UPDATE AS SOON AS YOU CAN BECAUSE (IF I DIDN'T SAY IT BEFORE) THIS STORY IS AMAZING! LOVE YOU, YOU'RE THE BEST! :)

Author's Response: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG THIS REVIEW IS FREAKING AWESOME! I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND IT IS BY FAR MY FAVOURITE THING EVER! I LOVE HOW EXCITED YOU ARE AND ITS MAKING ME EXCITED TOO! I WANTED TO FOCUS ENTIRELY ON ROXANNE IN THIS STORY, I AGREE THERE'S A LOT OF POTTER KIDS STORIES. OH YES, THEY ARE BIG ENEMIES, THERE IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH DRAMA! I HAVE LOTS PLANNED FOR THIS STORY! DRAMA AFTER DRAMA! JASON IS VERY SMITTEN WITH ROXANNE. I'VE UPDATED!
YOU ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE THE BEST PERSON EVER! YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY AND I HOPE I HEAR WHAT YOU THINK OF THE OTHER CHAPTERS AS WELL!!!


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Review #25, by Georgie The Stalker

21st September 2014:
I just read this story and I love it so much!!! I could not stop reading it because it is so amazing! Keep up the good work :) Your the best

Author's Response: Thank you! :D I LOVE YOU! You're amazing!

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