Reading Reviews for Then There was Light
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by alicia and anne Forever Changing Words

20th June 2015:
House cup 2015

Oh no, I don't like that Harry is angry in the beginning, although I'm very intrigued to know why he's angry. Especially if he's bumping into people.

Isabella is right, Harry is stubborn. I don't think he'll ever lose that trait.

Oh no! She apparated with him, that can't be good. And now she's questioning his magic. I can see this ending badly for someone.

I love that he showed her his patronus charm. And I absolutely love how you made it so that they could be touched. I had always wondered if you could and so I'm glad that you had this. And I loved that you said it was like touching happiness physically.

I can't help but wonder what her reaction is going to be next after Harry admits his wizardry to her? I also can't help but wonder when this is set, and how Isabella and Harry got together, so if you are still writing the story, I am going to have to find it :D

Great work! :D

Author's Response: Haha, yeah, I'm glad you did! I still love this one-shot up to this day! I want to really explore Bella's reaction to Harry's secret and just the whole interaction period. Whenever I do get the chance to write this fully, I'll definitely let you know about it!

Thanks! I appreciate you reading and leaving a review!

- Asphodel

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Review #2, by TreacleTart-Double Round 6/7 Forever Changing Words

12th April 2015:
Hi Alishya,

I'm here for the Gryffindor Capture The Flag Battle Double Round 6/7.

So I'm going to take a guess that this is one of your older stories because the quality of writing is quite different from your more recent works.

This character Isabella that you've created was quite intriguing. Based on her confusion at apparation I'm going to assume she's a muggle. Poor thing has no idea what she's getting herself into with Harry.

I like that you ended it at Godric's Hollow with Harry showing her his patronus. That sounded way more perverted than I meant it too. Forgive me. Anyways. They've stormed into this abandoned house. She has no clue what's happening and then Harry tells her he's a wizard! Her mind must just be exploding.

I did notice quite a few typos throughout this and would recommend going through and re-editing this, so that it doesn't detract from what is a very interesting story.

continued on walking – continuing on

It seems like my wish – seemed like

arms had its held on- arm had its hold on or arms had their hold on

After however lord knows how long, - take out the word however

I lifted my head from chest – from his chest

We're not in the alley no more- should be anymore

than anyone else had...-that no one else had

So... how did you that?" - did you do that?

"Did what?" –Do what?

Every furniture and other – every piece of furniture

All in all, I'm very intrigued about who Isabella is and how she and Harry met. I would love to see a one-shot about their initial interaction!


Author's Response: Hi Kaitlin! n_n

Hehe, thanks! :D Yes, Bella is a muggle. I'm assuming you never read the Twilight series. I don't blame you though, as the story isn't as all good as it is made out to be. Anyways, but Bella is an OtherCanon character. :)

Yeah, way older. It was written two years ago, despite the date. I had taken it down before, but I put it back up again here. I do plan on rewriting/editing the one-shot. :) Thanks for pointing out my errors anyway! ^_^

I have a novel that is going to follow this one-shot. Once I get to actually writing it and post it on here. I had the novel version posted, but I took it down as well for revision. (:

Thanks for reading and reviewing! ♥

- Asphodel

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Review #3, by mymischiefmanaged Forever Changing Words

12th April 2015:
~ For the Capture the Flag Tournament, Round Six ~

Hiya, here with another attack for the CTF tournament.

Okay, this is kind of a strange one for me because I'm very much not a Twilight fan, and also tend not to like crossovers very much. So I'll be honest and say I didn't much enjoy reading this story but that's in NO WAY because of your wonderful writing. It's purely because I don't like Bella as a character.

Something you've done really well here is keeping both Harry and Bella so wonderfully in character with what we know of them from their respective books. Harry's desire to protect Bella despite her wanting to stay with him fits in beautifully with his treatment of Ginny in canon, and Bella's insistence on prioritising being with her love interest over her own well being is very much like what I remember of Bella in Twilight. It's actually something I found very irritating about her character in Meyer's books, but it speaks very well of you that you've managed to get it across in a relatively short chapter.

I was a bit confused by what was going on at the beginning of this chapter, but I think the confusion is effective. It adds to the feeling of Harry's world being mysterious and strange for Bella/Isabella, and I like that the reader feels the same confusion that the character is feeling.

I'm curious about why Harry would choose to bring her to Godric's Hollow. Is he trying to demonstrate the dangers of his world? Whatever his intentions, it's a moving scene and I think is a good way to show the differences between their worlds and the dangers they face.

It kind of made me laugh when Isabella ruled out Harry being a werewolf or a vampire. Her sort of methodical hmm what kind of mythical creature are you then is almost ridiculous but is, again, in character with who she is in Twilight, and in this context it makes sense.

When is this set in both Isabella and Harry's storylines? Does Isabella already know about vampires/is she a vampire? And how old is Harry? I don't know whether you know the answers to these questions or whether it even matters, but I'd be interested to know because I suppose it changes the dynamic between them.

This is well written and an interesting concept. I probably should have chosen a different story to review for the tournament because my reading of this has definitely been somewhat swayed by my dislike of Twilight, but I really enjoy the way you write and can see that the concept has a lot of potential for Twilight fans!

Lots of love,

Emma xx

Author's Response: Hi Emma! :D

Aww! ♥ ♥ ♥

I do understand what you mean though. For crossovers, there's barely any good ones out there, and two, I hate Twilight myself honestly speaking. I tolerate Bella mostly than like her. So I get it. :)

Aww hahaha! Thank you! It feels good hearing you say that I manage to keep Harry and Bella in character! :D Have to high-five you in agreement for what you said about Bella in the books. :P

Ooh okay, at least... it's a good confusing. *nods* I plan on rewriting this eventually or soon (I'm thinking it through.)

Well... he didn't try to bring her to Godric's Hollow. I mean it wasn't his attention to take her anywhere. Had she not grabbed onto him... Bella would have missed where he was going all together.

You do make a really good point though, in saying that the dangers between Harry's and Bella's worlds. I never really thought of it - I mean... it was a subconscious move I was going for. I was writing for a challenge... using the "WriteorDie" app, and I wrote down whatever came into mind. ('n_n)

Hahaha. :P Yeah, I thought it was funny too and ironic had the Twilight series continued... and like why not for her to meet a wizard. :P

Well... for Harry is set after DH, and for Bella it was set after Eclipse. There's a tragic story for both Bella and Harry, and as to how they met up and know each other.

It's fine, I totally understand! :D

I'm glad you still enjoyed reading this nevertheless! ♥ I know right! Haha.


- Asphodel

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Review #4, by HPFF Secret Santa 2014 Forever Changing Words

17th December 2014:
I think that this is definitely an interesting story idea and I think that you've got a pretty good beginning here! I do hope that you will continue working on this story as there are so many questions that I have revolving this fic especially in concerns to who your main character is and how they met Harry. I know you mentioned twilight, so is your main character the same from that or a different Bella?

There was a good amount of description in this which was wonderful as it really helped to paint your story out for me. I also liked how the title of your story fit in and really tied things together. Now I've never read any twilight/harry potter crossovers but I do feel that this is so far a pretty original and interesting idea. Like I said, there are still a lot of questions I have regarding the story such as how they met and fell in love and I do hope that you will continue working on this so I can see where things began! Great job and Merry Christmas!

Your secret Santa 2014

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you find this crossover interesting! I have plans for this story - indeed. I just have to find the time for this.

"Isabella" is actually "Bella" from Twilight. I know that in canon she hates being called by her full name, but I have a reason as to why she goes by it instead of her short name - which will be explained in my novel version of this (whenever I get around to this).

Thank you! Thank you! It's so awesome for you to say that my idea is original! It's hard to aim for originality these days!

With your amazing words of encouragement, I might just get started on it right away. We'll see!

Thank you so much for reading this and reviewing! :D

- Asphodel

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Review #5, by xTimexTurnerx Forever Changing Words

17th January 2014:
Howdy! Ms. Lizzie/ xTimexTurnerx here from the forums!

I've gotta admit, I've read Twilight fanfic and I've obviously read Harry Potter fanfic but never a crossover. I think you're brave for writing it and bringing the two worlds together.

There are a couple minor grammar/ spelling errors:
1. We're not in the alley no more. (Should be 'any more')
2. He enclosed mines into his and he began to guide me through a street that he seemed familiar with. (He enclosed my hand? that makes more sense)

I did like that you kept each character canon in their emotions and until the part where Isabella started trying to figure out what Harry was and discounted werewolves and vampires, it was not obvious she was Isabella from Twilight. She could have been a human OC, which I liked.

Side note, poor Bella if she really did get mixed up with vampires, werewolves and wizards... oh my!

Interesting to read, thank you!
xx Lizzie

Author's Response: Hello Lizzie! n_n

Ah shucks! -^_^- I'd never thought to cross these two if it weren't for a video I saw the main character paired up in. It was a pretty cool video, so it was what inspired me to write it in the first place. :)

I know, I plan to rewrite this whenever I have more time to fix those pesky errors. -_-

Hehe, yeah. :P Bella could have been an OC, but there's a reason why I'd address her as "Isabella," and not the name she prefers. You will see whenever I get the chance to post the novel version of this. :D

Hahaha. I know right! She's going to be in for a long ride! XP

No, thank you for reading and reviewing!

- Asphodel

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Review #6, by Your Very Late Secret Santa Forever Changing Words

3rd January 2014:
Wow, that was certainly a very interesting story!

I don't mind crossovers - I read a lot of them and have been known to write one or two in my day, but I do have to admit I have never read Twilight. Still, I know enough about the premise of the story to not be totally lost here.

It took me a minute to figure out what was going on, but that's a good thing! It added to the whole mystery of the story. I like it when stories jump right into the action and let readers figure out the details on their own rather than doing what I sometimes call a "dumping section" where they try to explain everything and set the stage. It's much more enjoyable to grab our attention and drop tantalizing hints for us to piece together.

I figured out at the beginning that this was Harry Potter and Bella from twilight, but it took me a while to figure out if Harry was in her world, or she was in his, or if the two worlds existed together. For a moment, I thought Harry was at school and had entered the Room of Requirement, but I liked how it turned out instead.

But now you have left me with a ton of questions! How did Harry discover her world, and why did he go there? How did they become friends? And why of all places would he take her to Godrick's Hollow? Such intrigue! Is there more to this or did you mean to leave this as a very mysterious piece of writing? Because I think it would work either way.

Great story! I really enjoyed it! You have a talent for descriptions which made it fun to read. And I'm so sorry these gifts are so slow. Internet and I did NOT get along this Christmas Holiday! SORRY!

Author's Response: Don't worry about being late! It happens. :P

I'm glad that you are familiar with the series so that you were able to find this brief fiction enjoyable! :D

I'm also glad that you picked up on me trying to cause a mysterious atmosphere for my readers too! ^_^ A couple of readers who commented on this did not get my purpose of it. :/ oh well...

Anyways, to answer the rest of your questions - There is more to the story! n_n In fact, I am in the process or writing the novel version of this! This one-shot was just to give you a little taste! ;)

Thank you for your kind-gifted words! :3 And thanks so much for reading! :^D

- Asphodel

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Review #7, by APerkins Forever Changing Words

12th November 2013:
Hi from review tag!
How are you going?
Well, I wanted to let you know that I think you have captured Meyers characterisation of Bella really really well. Nauseated by apparating! Brilliant.
Also her 'need' of Harry. You dont go into that much in the story, don't explain why she needs Harry, but we don't really need to know about that anyway. you've jsut made it obvious in her desperation as she chases after Harry. Even in the way you described Harry looking at her- it was well done.

There are a few typos through - perhaps getting a quick Beta to go through your one shots isnt a bad idea, Ill go through the ones I noticed now, not so much to criticise, but more because I love it when people find things I can improve in my writing :) I hope thats ok
the first paragraph, you say that "his" frustration was rubbing off on you.I just wasnt sure which he you were referring too - cause I suspect Harry is the one who is frustrated, but the way it is written, the He should be referring to the stranger she bumps into.
In the apparating paragraph, you've switched tenses. it should read "in the hope that this sickening sensation would stop" - not be written in the present tense as it is now.
There was a tense change again after she stops feeling sick. It should probably say " I dont know how long we were standing like that..." and again "We were in another neighbourhood -I thought." alhtough you'd probably be better of rearranging that sentence completely to make the tense right - I think thats enough of the tense changes - you get the idea, and Im sure a beta would fix that studd no problems.
the other thing that caught my attention was the conversation "So how did you that" - I think its meant to read "So how did you do that" and Harry (unless he is exhibiting bad grammar) would normally say "Do what" as opposed to "did what" - perhaps that is just a tense confusion again.

I really liked what you did at the end having him use the patronus as a way to bring Bella into his world. I didnt quite catch who the baby crib was for though. It was cute, but I wasnt sure what was going on.

Overall, I really really loved the fusion of the two storylines. I think it was kinda fun listening to Bella going through her mental check list. Can be a werewolf, cant be a vampire...
must be...
a wizard!
well done!

Author's Response: Thanks dear for the critique! I did realize the part of Bella explaining her desperation for Harry too late because I was writing for a challenge.

Perhaps might take it down or something... not sure.

But thank you anyway for pointing out my errors. :)

And thanks for reading too! ^_^

- Asphodel

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Review #8, by toomanycurls Forever Changing Words

8th November 2013:
I'm not a huge Twilight fan but I wanted to review this because I'm at least familiar with the series.

You describe Bella quite in canon with Twilight. Though, she quite disliked being called Isabella. I'm a bit curious about a little bit of background on her relationship with Harry. I feel like this is a scene from the middle to end of their relationship.

I do really like Bella's attempt to figure out what Harry is. She does tend to have a monster/magical thing going on.

It's so sad that he brought her back to Godric's Hollow. Interesting choice for a date spot though.

I think this would be interesting as a multi-part story!


Author's Response: I understand. :) I am not a big fan of Twilight either like I used to be.

And you're right, Bella doesn't like to be called "Isabella." And yes this is like insight of my novel-to-come about this one-shot with Harry and Bella.

I'm glad that this sounds interesting. Hopefully when I write the book for it, it'd be great and meet up to your expectations! ^_^

Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)

- Asphodel

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Review #9, by milominderbinder Forever Changing Words

24th October 2013:
Okay, before I start this I feel I should admit I'm not a huge fan of Twilight. I used to be a bit into it when I was younger but I've forgotten most of it now. That said, I thought this was a really interesting story! I liked how you blended the two universes together - it seemed relatively seemless, not sloppy or awkward like a lot of crossovers can, so kudos there. I thought you wrote Bella really well, too - she wasn't annoying at all, and it was nice to read it from her POV, because we could really get into her emotions and views of the HP world.

Overall, this was really good! Well done :)


Author's Response: Ah thank you! And don't worry, I hate Twilight too. :D Lol, Ironic right?

I just thought that these two controversies are quite interesting together - particularly Bella and Harry - and so I became daring squeezing these fandoms as one. :)

And thank you again, I can say now - I've ultimately achieved the achievable.

Thank you once more and thanks for reading!

- Asphodel

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Review #10, by lovethepotters Forever Changing Words

3rd July 2013:
Hi there! I'm here for the review tag :)

First of all, I'd like to say that I'm generally not a fan of crossovers, but I think your piece will be an exception to the rule!

I really love the sentence: "I don't care for being normal!" It aptly reflects what we know about Bella's character, as well as her love for all things supernatural :)

I'm a grammar Nazi (forgive me if you don't want to hear about minor editing issues) but I think "returning to the soft and understanding tone that I was use to and missed" needs to have a "d" added onto the end of "used", just so the rest of the sentence flows better.

I just have a few questions about the plot:

1. In your story, is Bella still a human or is she a vampire? Does the story take place before or after she marries Edward?

2. You've mentioned that Bella can see the statue of Harry and his parents in Godric's Hollow. According to JKR, only wizards and witches can see this statue, not muggles. Are you implying that Bella is possibly a squib (since she can see the statue) or are you disregarding canon and just pretending she can see it anyway? Sorry I'm a canon nut so that was the first thing that popped into my head!

Okay, I know I've probably bored you with my long review so I'll end it now. All in all, a wonderful one-shot with nice use of both HP and the Twilight universe :)

Author's Response: Hi! :)

Hehe, I'm glad you're making an exception. :D I understand how you feel. Most authors just don't do crossovers really well which makes it a turn off to readers and as reader myself, I had my fair share of those turn-off crossovers. XP

Generally, all it takes is a writer to take the time to make two world fandoms fit well together. Otherwise it just won't work. =)

And no problem, thanks for pointing out my mistakes. I actually know I have more when it had gotten validated, so I plan to edit it again when Staff gets off of vacation and validation is available once more. ;)

Well to answer your questions:

1.) Bella isn't a vampire. She's still human. :P I can't stand vampire Bella. >.<

2.) Thanks for pointing that out because I actually didn't know that. Well, in the sense of the word, it is AU - and what I plan for Bella is a bit more special for her. She's exactly not going to be a wizard but she's not a squib either. It's still a plan in process so you'll have to just wait and see if you stick around. ^_-

3.) This is after Eclipse and Edward and Bella are not married. However, really you won't know that because this one-shot is a glimpse of a novel I plan for Harry and Bella. =D

And thank you again for the very awesome review and thanks for reading. ♥

Stay tune!

- Asphodel

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