Reading Reviews for Severus Snape
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TheGirlOnFire The Mind is not a Book

16th March 2014:
Hello! Me again. This is for the blackout bingo 16/20 ;).

I don't read many Severus fics so I thought I would read this one. I liked the idea that Shape was always trying to protect Lily, this is something he probably would have done as he was madly in love with her he even cut her out of his life knowing that she may end up with his enemy. Even though he was madly in love with her, and he kept it going till the end. It's quite heart breaking to even try to image what he went through till that moment of his death. Also I liked your description of Bellatrix, "her beauty was just a mask for her evil intentions." this was very chilling and the perfect way to summarize Bellatrix. This has got to be my favourite line in this story. Keep up the good work. :)


Author's Response: Hello! Sorry it's taken so long to respond... I figured I had to write a Snape fic at some point and then it just sort of hit me I guess. He is one of those characters that has so much going on you have to look deeper. I am pleased that you liked the Bellatrix line. Thanks again TheGirlOnFire :)

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Review #2, by Red_headed_juliet The Mind is not a Book

25th January 2014:
Hello! Here for review swap. I figured since you read my Snape one-shot I'd pop in and take a look at yours. +]

I like the idea of Snape starting out trying to protect Lily from the very beginning, even the act of cutting ties with her an attempt to keep her safe, something that he kept up even through adulthood.

Also, kudos on your description of Bellatrix, how her good looks are just a mask for her evil intentions. Very nice, probably my favorite line.

All together short, sweet, and simple, yet effective. +] A good read.

Until next time! RHJ

Author's Response: I am glad you liked it! Part of me thinks Snape wasn't a bad guy, just a "wrong place" and "wrong crowd" kind of guy. I am glad the Bellatrix line pleased you! I always thought she would be a pretty-faced sadist.


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Review #3, by MadiMalfoy The Mind is not a Book

10th September 2013:
Hey there, here with your review for your TMR prize! :)

Oh Severus, poor poor Severus. I think you've captured his essence pretty well in this piece! You've showed some of his school years, and the critical moment when he stops being friends with Lily to do the thing required of him and joining the Death Eaters. And the scene at the end when he's preparing to perform Legilimency on Lily's son, just wonderful!

I will say that it is a bit of an abrupt change of scene so that kind of interrupts the flow a little bit. I think if you beefed it up a little bit and added some more to the scene it would help get the point of his remorse across better. If you maybe add a scene with Harry in it that would be great too!

Overall, you wrote Snape very well! I'm glad you entered in my challenge and thank you for writing so well! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Thank you! I thought the two small scenes I picked summed up the enigma of Severus Snape. I thought about beefing the scenes up a bit but when I started to just began to sound repetitive and that is not something I like to do.
Your thanking me for writing well? I should be thanking you for liking my nonsense! Thanks again for all the kind words and encouragement!

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Review #4, by quixotic The Mind is not a Book

22nd August 2013:
Hi! I'm here to review your entry for the Death Eater Challenge!
Snape is an interesting Death Eater (who wasn't really a Death Eater). When I gave you the topic, I was dreading some long drawn and sappy memoir of Snape describing Lily's beauty and whatnot.I breathed a sigh of relief after your first paragraph.

The plot is great, explaining how thoughts are such complicated things. The most complicated are thoughts of love, I suppose. Snape loved Lily enough to join the Death Eaters to protect her is a nice thing to think about but as you mentioned in your story, a part of Snape wanted him to become famous. He was sick of being the potions geek and angry at being pushed around by the Marauders. He wanted them to fear him, for everyone to fear him and yet he expected Lily to love him. You can't make the cake and eat it too, Snape.

I like the way you've described the characters using their style of speaking. Snape has a serious and eloquent way of speaking giving off the feeling that he is a sixteen year old with a lot going on in his head. Lily speaks a little more child-like and innocent, unaware of how dangerous her best friend is becoming. James comes across as a pompous pillow, as usual.

Then the story shifts to the present where Snape is teaching Harry Legilimency and how his thought are as jumbled as they were all those years ago. The comparison was great, it gave the story another dimension, I think.

There were tiny things here and there that you could correct. You've misspelt Phoenix in your Author's Note (not that I'm a stickler for spelling, I get hit by those errors all the time :P). The line 'She said confusion hitting her green eyes.' doesn't flow very well. Does confusion hit or fill? I'm not too sure myself.

Anyway, it was a great story to read and review! I loved how you used one of Snape's quotes to define his complicated personality. Thank you for participating in my challenge :)

Author's Response: First let me say holy-review! At first it seemed a tad overwhelming but I think I covered it all...

I know what you mean; everyone likes a Sappy-Snape (even I can be guilty of this sometimes). I asked my friend what I should do about this when I first started and she was going more towards Romance. I really just wanted to do the whole scene just with Harry but I started and it just seemed stiff- so I mashed the two.

I am glad you enjoyed the plot as when I started I didn't have a clue that's where I'd end up. I think Snape thought Lily should have loved him because she was truly one of the few souls that was kind to him. And let's be honest. The Marauders were just as nasty to Snape as he was to everyone else. I think it is the chicken or egg scenario...

I try to show characters by how they speak and act and I am so very pleased someone else picked up on that. I think when one writes though Snape's eyes James is always a "pompous pillow".

I knew the comparison was necessary based on Snape's actions through the books; in a way he is a very complex character that seems at a loss of what to do. Loving Harry's mother and hating his father must have been a lose-lose situation. You help the spawn of your enemy or let the "love of you life" down. Again.

I have found there are things I always need to fix in everything I write (I have learned to just roll with it...)

As for hit or fill; I used hit because it was a rather instant reaction. I do not think Lily is slow to the draw by any means, which is normally when I use terms like fill. The quote I used was by far my favorite line Snape has ever said in the whole series. Your challenge was an amazing one that opened my eyes. Thank you so much for allowing me to participate!


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Review #5, by MargaretLane The Mind is not a Book

4th August 2013:
I really like the way you talk about Snape inventing spells. I always just assumed it was something he did for fun or because he was bored and lonely, but actually the explanation you've given seems to fit him rather better.

Ugh, he's being pretty irritating though - as if he thinks Lily's only any good to him if she'll go out with him. Wanting him as a friend doesn't seem to matter to him.

"'You said I was,' he pointed out" should have a comma after "was" and a small "h" on "he", not a full stop and a capital "h". Same with the other times people are speaking.

I like the way he described Bellatrix. The part about her beauty hiding her evil intentions seems pretty accurate.

And THAT makes sense, about his rejecting Lily's friendship because he doesn't want to make her a target.

Author's Response: *Sigh* every time someone comments on the dialogue I go and search it and fix it accordingly- I guess it is one of those things I lose either way..

I know A guy who is quite like Snape in this so I based it sort of off of him...

I thought the rejection was a nice touch but I needed to explain it or I would have had Sily fans asking me "Why?!?!" ;)

Thanks for the review!

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Review #6, by Erised The Mind is not a Book

2nd August 2013:
Hello! :)

I thought this was a great little fic! Severus is such a complex character to write so I think you did an awesome job of it. You seemed to capture the tumultuous change during this time of his life very well and how his priorities had changed, even though he still loved Lily.

The interactions between Severus and Lily were good but could have done with Snape being even meaner to Lily in my opinion. A little more emotion would really elevate the scene. However it definitely got the message across well enough and I felt really sorry for Lily by the end of their argument.

The ending is what really got me though and it was my favourite part. I feel that you perfectly captured the conflicted emotions that Snape feels towards Harry, especially by saying that he was the balance between his "best friend and his tormentor" - it just perfectly described it and my heart just went out to him. It was really genuinely sad :(

This was a very nicely written one shot and I think you did an excellent job with Snape's character! Well done! :)

Author's Response: Oh my goodness thank you! :) I liked the complex nature of Snape. I almost made him more cruel toward Lily but Snape wouldn't over-kill it just for Bellatrix to watch. I liked how his heart didn't seem to be in the fight because he is not skilled yet at keeping his appearance up. Thank you again for all the amazing feedback!

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