Reading Reviews for Transparent
79 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TreacleTart Empty

23rd May 2016:
Hey Gabbie!

Back for the last of our 5 review swaps! Again, I'm sorry about the delay in getting to them.

Alright. So we've found out a bit of what's going on with Teddy. The awful jerk got high and pawned off Remus' watch (To get more money for drugs?) If I didn't hate him before, I certainly do now. He is literally the worst and I am so disappointed that he is the spawn of Remus and Tonks. They must be rolling in their graves.

And if poor Andromeda only knew. She'd be beside herself with grief at the idea of him pawning off his parents things. I mean how much lower could he possibly get?

I'm really intrigued by Victoire's whole reaction to Teddy talking to Dominique. It sounds to me like Victoire might've been the victim of Teddy's games at some point. She talks like someone who had her heart shattered badly.

It's really odd to see this protective side of Victoire though. She pretty much treats Dominique like garbage 90% of the time, so I'm not really understanding why all of the sudden she wants to act like her protector.

Personally, I think that Dominique should say to hell with both Victoire and Teddy and just go do her own thing. The two of them are awful and it seems that they just want her to be as miserable as they feel.

Good work on this! We'll have to swap some more soon!


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Review #2, by alicia and anne The Favor

23rd May 2016:
Poor Dom, she seems so different to how I see her normally portrayed, and your version of her seems like a breath of fresh air. It's so good to see her so well thought out and stuttering, and not too confident herself.

Victoire doesn't seem like a nice person, and I can't wait to see Dom sticking up for herself when it comes to her sister. I look forward to reading that. How can Victoire expect Dom to help her if she acts like this towards her? I just want to hug poor Dom and help her.

:O That is a big secret! I wonder how she'll help her out with this?

Oh this wild story is getting more and more entertaining, Victoire is so screwed! And it's brilliant! :D

And Teddy doesn't seem like a good guy either, poor Dom, surrounded by people that bully her for her stutter and manipulate her into getting things for them.

Oh no! Poor Dom! This hasn't ended too well for her has it? I can't wait to read more! :D I love your writing so much and I'm so excited by this new story of yours!

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Review #3, by TreacleTart Liar

22nd May 2016:
Hey Gabbie!

I'm back to finally finish up our review swap! Thanks for being patient with me!

I'm glad that Dominique is taking some time for herself at the beginning of this chapter. After the way that everyone has treated her over the last twenty four hours, I really just feel like she needs a break. And I can totally understand her reluctance to go downstairs and risk having to see Victoire. I wouldn't want to be around her either.

When she does finally go downstairs, I thought it was really sad to see the family dynamic. I don't necessarily picture Fleur and Bill as super warm, friendly people, but the coldness they show to their own children is pretty depressing. I mean, why have children if you're only going to treat them with such open contempt?

I'm curious to find out if Victoire is actually pregnant and what she decides to do if she is. In my opinion, she's far too selfish at this point in her life to be a parent. I can't imagine her giving up her own time to watch a child.

For some reason when the doorbell started ringing, I had a feeling that it was going to be Teddy, but I was really surprised by his change in attitude. His couple of moments of vulnerability made him slightly more palatable, although I still find him to be an obnoxious jerk. Maybe having his world come crashing down around him will help him to gain a bit of humility.

And good for Andromeda for cutting him off. I just said in the last chapter how everyone is enabling him, so I'm glad that at least one person has some sense.

Anyway, good work here. I'm off to the next chapter right now!


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Review #4, by TreacleTart Sister

19th May 2016:
Hey Gabbie!

I'm here with the next of my reviews for our swap! This is number 2 of 5.

I was so glad when Dominique managed to leave Uncle George and Aunt Angie's house. I didn't think I could handle anymore of Teddy's bad attitude and awful blackmail. I just really can't understand why everyone puts up with him. I mean I understand his parent's died in the war, so everyone feels a bit of responsibility for him, but still. At this point, they're all just enabling him to be awful.

I'm glad that the rest of the family showed interest in seeing Dominique and Louis. I know it probably made Dominique feel loved and cared for that Roxanne was happy she was there.

Gosh. Just when I thought Teddy was the most frustrating human on earth, we find out that Victoire is competing for that title. She is so awful. I can't believe how awful she was to Dominique, particularly after she just did that big favor for her. Dominique is a better person than me because if I'd been in her shoes, it would've been a fight. Victoire's attitude like it's not important or no big deal is just infuriating.

The only ray of sunshine for me was Louis. I thought he was really cute and sweet, although I was sad to find out that he felt transparent as well. I hope that Dominique's love and attention is enough to make him feel better.

Good job on this chapter! I'll be over to the next chapter soon!


Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by once again with this awesome review. I really am glad that you're still reading! :D

I think I might have stretched the scene with George and Angie too much. It was mostly just to show how different their family was from Dominique's. I also love them to death so you'll have to forgive me for that.

Anyway, Teddy's attitude is something that's going to come back and haunt him in the worst way. I don't think anyone has really caught on to the fact that the family enables Teddy's behavior. It was actually an important factor that kind of got skipped over.

George and Angelina, as you'll learn take care of him more than anyone else. The whole family has it's quirks and I think a lot of it is guilt over what happened with his parents. It's really upsetting to think about though.

George and Angelina love their nieces and nephews. I mentioned in the last review that they don't see Dominique or her siblings much because Bill has this bad habit of not keeping in touch. There's also this thing with Percy too, the two of them can't stand each other so that creates a complicated rift with everyone else too.

The thing about Victoire and Teddy is that they're a lot alike. It's actually pretty darn embarrassing and I'm not sure who is the most awful person here. Victoire for lying or Teddy for using Dom?

Dominique is a better person than both of us because Victoire would have caught these hands for sure. I would not have just walked out of there so calmly.

Louis is quite the adorable little boy but he's surprisingly cynical for his age. I think that happens with neglect but he really loves Dominique. She treats him more like a son than a brother and they are really close. :D

Thanks for the review!

Much love,


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Review #5, by TidalDragon Unlucky

17th May 2016:
Well, well! This chapter was back to your resplendent best. You carried on your tradition of exceptional characterization with the deeper exploration of Tiberius and it was quite a developmental milestone for Dominique to get so confident and flirtatious, even if it's still far from stable. She seems to be taking the "fake it 'til you make it" maxim to heart even if it took awhile.

I will say that I almost thought from the doorman scene that Teddy might be the rat at issue or at the very connected to him and I'm interested to see going forward whether this end-of-chapter drama feeds into that.

Ahhh...and how can I not mention the intimacy between Dominique and Teddy just before it happened. Who knows what will befall them next - but I wonder if perhaps Dominique and Teddy couldn't at least improve each other after all, despite your best efforts to make one desperately silent and the other easily hate-able.

Thanks for carrying on with the story and continuing to deliver chapters to believe in!

Author's Response: Hey!

Welcome back and thanks so much for this great review~! It's one of my favorites!

I think this chapter really relied heavy on emotion. Dominique is in over her head so I wanted to really suck you guys in and she proved to be quite the actress. Haha.

I wanted to talk about Tiberius more here because we get such a cliffhanger in the last chapter. I didn't go into a lot of detail about him though, I did reference another story (The entire line about Greengrass comes from my story A Force of Wills. The family are basically the mafia but that flew right over everyone's heads)

I forgot to mention the thing about the doorman in your last review. He was an awfully cheerful fellow, wasn't he? I need to make people smile more. Hahah.

Anyway, the rat issue will be discussed in the next chapter. Teddy is obviously not going to get out of this without some trouble. It's all going to come tumbling down.

I think we're really moving forward with these two. Haha. Emotionally, they're starting to get more and more dependent on one another. I'll write more scenes with these two exploring that, Dominique running from it and Teddy trying to understand what it might mean. You know, typical stuff.

I had another reviewer say that two broken things can make a wonderful relationship or something along those lines. I will keep thinking of Teddy and Dominique like this from now on.


Much love,


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Review #6, by TidalDragon The Green Dragon

17th May 2016:
Howdy Gabbie! It's a pleasure to be back here to your fine tale!

As usual you did an excellent job of capturing the emotions, often oscillating, of this duo. And they are operating together enough nowadays that we might have to start calling them a duo - a scary prospect for Dominique, but perhaps some sort of positive for Teddy who continues to thaw now and again in her presence. Oh - and I'd be terribly remiss if I didn't applaud you for the doorman - he was one of the liveliest characters I've read of yours since Audrey.

On the CC side, I did think this was a little description heavy (even for a new setting) and a tad sluggish plot-wise. I think (and as, you know, the actual author - feel free to correct me if I'm wrong :p) the entire design was to use that as a sort of strategic lead-up to the big reveal at the end, but perhaps it was the length that did it to me. I don't know. Just a thought.

Anyway, since I'm so late, I'll hit you with a review on Chapter 13 as well. See you there!

Author's Response: Hello!

It's always lovely hearing from you and I'm so glad that you're still interested in reading this story! :D

I think it's getting to the point where we might have to start calling Teddy and Dominique a couple. Not in the romantic sense just yet but they're together so often now that it's kind of hard to picture them separated, which was my intention from the beginning.

Dominique isn't ready for more but she's falling into it the more this story goes.

Teddy will continue to thaw around her though and I think by the end of this story he might finally be "real".

I did think this chapter was really heavy on the descriptions. I will go back and tone them down some and while I was reading, I caught some other stuff that kind of disrupted the flow. It didn't move quickly enough for me either and Tiberius was supposed to actually show up and have a chat with them in this chapter.

I'll try and cut it down the next time I go in and edit, thanks for being so honest!

Much love,


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Review #7, by NPE The Favor

17th May 2016:
Sorry I took a month to get back to you. A lot was going during RL, and I wasnít able to give HPFF the attention it deserved, or write the reviews I had promised people.

Firstly, you have managed to create a successful authenticity and nuance within the minds of your characters in a way I really respect. There is a vulnerability and uncertainty at play here with Dominique that is really difficult to both execute and conceive.

The chapter has some vividly drawn descriptions of the scenes you set that really catalyse the narrative and dialogue.

I personally like the flawed and rather unflattering portrayal of Teddy Lupin.

The only critiques I have concern firstly the rather unusual spacing, and secondly that at times the story rambles a little rather than being as sharp and as focused as your decriptions suggest. Don't get me wrong, it's very readable and it flew by despite its length but occasionally I felt a little lost.

But itís only a minor quibble here or there. Great stuff.

Apologies for the delay,


Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by and no real worries, RL comes first! :D

It's really tough writing these characters but thank you so much for the compliment! I try to make them feel as real as possible but Dominique in particular is hard to write.

I had to scrap a lot of ideas for her in the beginning. I'm glad that I settled on the end result though.


I love a horrible Teddy Lupin and he only gets worse from here. :D

The spacing is my fault because it was uploaded all wonky. My apologies on the other stuff too!


Much love,


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Review #8, by Sarah Unlucky

11th May 2016:
Ah oh my god... Oh my god. OH MY SWEET JESUS. I need to know what happens seriously. I have been steadily crying since I started reading. Tell me dom gets that watch. And I ship dom and teddy so much even with the age gap and everything. Two wrongs don't make a right but two messed up people could definitely make a beautiful relationship no. I hope teddy waits for her. Though I just know that this isn't going to end happily ever after and its killing me

Author's Response: Hello!

Goodness! *Hugs* I didn't expect such an emotional reaction!

I don't like that you've been crying, that really makes me upset! *Wipes your tears with a worried frown* Everything will be okay, I promise!

I don't know what's going to happen with Dom and the watch just yet but this doesn't have a dark ending! I have it all mapped out in my head, just be patient for that next chapter!

I think more people ship Dom/Teddy than I thought! Gosh. You guys are so understanding! I think what you've said about them is actually pretty wonderful, I may just use that in the story at some point. :)

Everything will be fine! I promise! *Panics*

I'll try to update soon!

Much love,


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Review #9, by TreacleTart Transparent

10th May 2016:
Hey Gabbie,

I'm here for our review swap!

That feeling of wanting to punch Teddy in the throat. Yeah, it's back. Gosh is he just awful or what? I can't believe that he made Dominique get down on her knees and apologize. And then to say "Stay down there and think about what you've done." Ugh. He is just so gross and awful.

It was nice that Fred sort of realized that something was a bit off in this chapter. I'm glad everyone's not completely oblivious. I really hope that Fred does talk to Teddy and tell him to knock it off. Not that I think it will help much. Just mainly because I think Dominique needs to know she has support from her family.

I'm glad that she had a bit of time to chit chat with Roxanne and get away from Teddy. I thought she might lose it if she didn't get a break from his awful behavior.

Roxanne's relationship with Benjamin is interesting. I'm honestly surprised that it's so controversial to everyone. I mean I know what the Malfoy family was like, but Draco was basically forced into it and Benjamin is adopted, so he literally had no role in it. I suppose it just seemed odd that everyone hated him so much.

The ending with Teddy telling Dominique about her next task was really ominous. I'm dreading seeing what he comes up with.


Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for the swap and I hope you liked my review! :)

Teddy is a person that needs to be hit but he is also the kind who wouldn't learn his lesson. I think that this is the last time that he actually does something like this because I personally didn't like it. In the next chapter, he bullies Dominique a little but nothing like this ever happens again.

I think that Fred is more perceptive than people give him credit for. Personality wise, he's more like Angelina than George so he picks up subtle things easier than say, Roxanne.

I think that Fred might have talked to Teddy but I don't actually go into any detail about that. Dominique has support but I always thought of her as being kind of apart from her family. Another reason why I named this Transparent, it has a lot to do with her own willingness to be invisible too.

The chit chat with Roxanne was iffy for me because I didn't think I needed it. BUT what was nice about it was seeing just how different Roxanne and Dominique were.

Plus, all of my stories are interlinked so I had to mention Roxanne's relationship with Benjamin at some point. Roxanne's relationship with Benjamin is something that quite a few people don't like.

In Abandon, I talk more about racism and prejudice. So, the reason that most people don't like her being around Malfoy or his family is mostly due to what they all did in the past. Honestly, Benjamin didn't do anything but people tend to see what they want to.

You'd have to read that story though and I don't know if you'd like it that much. Haha.

Teddy is being an ominous jerk! He goes into more detail about what he wants from her in the next two chapters. It might not be what you think. ;)

Much love,


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Review #10, by TreacleTart Blue-Haired Devil

4th May 2016:
Hey Gabbie!

Back for review number 3 of our swap! Scared that my poor little heart is about to be demolished.

I'm glad to see that the rest of the family is considerably nicer to Dominique, but one thing I don't get is why they're all so oblivious. I mean based on their reactions when they see that she's with Teddy and on Dominique's obvious discomfort, you'd think that maybe they'd figure out that somethings up, but nope. They all just continue along like nothing is out of the ordinary.

It's pretty ridiculous about how Teddy is about the job that Angelina got for him. Seriously, he got himself fired by sleeping with a co-worker during work and then getting caught by her husband? I'm just not sure that Teddy could get any grosser.

I really wish that Dominique would stand up for herself. It's really sad to see how everyone treats her like she's non-existent. Now I see why you named the story Transparent. Anyway, I hope that by the end of this, she finds her inner strength and puts them all in her place.

And I'm still waiting to find out what happened with the pigs.


Author's Response: Hello!

Phew, that was so quick! Thank you a ton for your lovely reviews, we should swap again soon! :D

My family dynamics are a bit different than other Next Gen stories. Dominique is closer to Percy/Audrey than she is to anyone else and Bill has a bad habit of not visiting anyone. George and Angelina are usually hanging out with Percy and Audrey (They live a few miles away from Bill and his family) so they see one another regularly.

Anyway, George and Angelina are really sweet towards all of their nieces and nephews. George is notorious for spoiling all of them and I can't picture him being mean towards Dominique.

I feel like George was so angry at Teddy that he didn't automatically sense how upset Dominique was. Fred on the other hand is so used to Teddy being in trouble that he didn't notice either but he does talk to her about it in the next chapter.

Roxanne is...well, Roxanne is really childish and she doesn't exactly notice things that don't revolve around her at the moment. Sorry. Hahaha.

Teddy will get grosser, I assure you. He's going to regret how he lost his job though and the consequences will pile up on him.

Dominique will slowly begin to come more into herself. That's really what this story is about but you would have to keep on reading. :D Yep. Transparent has to do with Dominique's feelings of being invisible and not quite feeling "real".

She'll find herself by the end of the story, I promise. The thing with the pigs will be explained in chapter fourteen! :D

Thank you for the review!

Much love,


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Review #11, by TreacleTart Playmate

4th May 2016:
Hello again!

Back for review number two of our swap!

Ok. I legitimately hate Teddy. Like not just dislike him. I hate him. I want to punch him in the throat because of what he's doing to poor Dominique. The way he treats her like she's less than him because of her looks is appalling. And then the whole thing with the pigs...I don't even know what that is yet, but I'm already fuming at how nonchalant he is about it. Like if you traumatize someone so bad that they start stuttering and become a complete social recluse, then maybe it's time to admit that you might've pushed it too far.

And then when Logan was being all sweet to Dominique Teddy kept acting like a jerk. Seriously, again, I want to punch him in the throat. I can't for the life of me understand why he treats her that way.

Oh and the way he goes on about his escapades with women is disgusting. It's clear he changes them more frequently than he changes underwear. I can't imagine why anyone would want to be with a slimeball like him. Ick.

This plan that Teddy has hatched. I don't trust it one bit. Like seriously, I can smell problems from a mile away. Poor Dominique is going to get messed up in this.

I want to go read the next chapter, but at the same time I'm scared. Don't break my heart by hurting Dominique. Pretty please.


Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back!

It is perfectly all right to hate Teddy, it's honestly what I was going for. He's not a character that I think anyone should root for at this point and I wanted to punch him in the throat most of the time while I was writing these early chapters.

He's such a jerk.

Teddy gets some kind of weird thrill out of bothering Dominique. I go into more detail in the next chapter but it's really not cool. He likes to tell her all of these awful things about herself and the pig incident is something else that he should own up to.

I haven't gotten into more detail about that yet but I'm planning on explaining it soon. Teddy knows that he was wrong but he's the sort of person that doesn't like to dwell on his own mistakes, so naturally it's all Dominique's fault for her being so traumatized by the incident.

You would think that he would be nicer to Dominique but that would be too much like right, you know?

Logan was being such a prince and Teddy just HAD to add his two cents. He's such a nasty person but you understand more about his animosity towards Dominique later.

I feel like the only thing Teddy was somewhat right about was the double standard between men and women when it comes to sex. Victoire is every awful thing in the book for her exploits but people look the other way when it's him.

Otherwise, Teddy's still a jerk face.

I feel sorry for Dominique getting mixed up in all of this too. Teddy has a plan and it doesn't exactly go the way he wants but you'll have to keep reading.

Ah, don't be scared! Nothing bad happens to Dominique for at least a few more chapters. I think.

Much love,


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Review #12, by TreacleTart The Favor

4th May 2016:
Hey Gabbie!

I'm so sorry that I'm a bit late on our swap. Life just won't seem to cut me a break these last few days. Anyway, I'm here now, so let's get this review swap started!

First off, the characterization of Dominique stood out to me right away because I feel like Fleur's children are always portrayed as very beautiful and self confident. It was nice to see something that broke that stereotype. I also appreciated that she stuttered and seemed shy. I find that all too often people want to write the confident characters in fics and I like that you've gone against that.

Victoire is a real piece of work in this, but that's sort of how I head cannon her as well. Selfish. Wrapped up in her appearance. Since she's the first born grand baby, I imagine her to be quite spoiled.

The whole idea that Victoire would be so cavalier about getting knocked up is really surprising. I mean what kind of person asks their fourteen year old sister to go get them a pregnancy test. That's pretty inconsiderate.

Ugh. And Teddy. As soon as she saw his blue hair, I knew it was going to be bad. I remember reading another story of yours where he wasn't exactly a stellar guy, so I figured he was going to make her life tough.

Looking forward to the next chapter!


Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by and no worries about it being late! I understand that real life gets in the way and it should always come first! :D

I hadn't read very many stories about Dom before but I never quite pictured her as being very outgoing. The image of her sitting alone by Dobby's grave and her stutter just seemed more natural to me than her being very popular/confident.

I still don't know why.

I feel like a lot of people use the excuse of Fleur's children as being part Veela to make them invulnerable. They're written as being perfect and I don't really understand why that would be. I'm sure that Fleur had her flaws, she seemed pretty judgmental to me in the HP books but I never wanted Dominique to be just a miniature version of her mother.

The stutter is something that a lot of people have never really seen before when it comes to her character. It's essential to who she is as a person though and I don't feel right about getting rid of it.

Victoire is pretty awful, I'll admit that I might have exaggerated her a bit. She's not supposed to be this glitzy, wonderful person though and I feel like she was probably spoiled a lot growing up.

I think Victoire is overconfident in her ability to get what she wants. I think that later on, you'll see that she is actually scared about the whole thing.

Teddy is terrible. I wanted him to be all of the things that Dominique hated but there's more to him than meets the eye.

I hope.

Yes, it's mentioned in my other stories that he's not that great of a person. All of my stories are interlinked so I have to keep certain details the same and Teddy being a jerk is one of many consistent things that will be brought up.

Thanks for the review!

Much love,


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Review #13, by Mysterious reviewer Unlucky

3rd May 2016:

So after reading your amazing story almost from its beginning, I've decided it's high time to finally leave a review. Don't hate me. I'm one of those lazy readers, who aren't too good with words, but nevertheless reads the story frantically with bated breath.

I love this chapter the most so far. It's a right combination of emotions and action. Not to mention that things are getting extremely heated from now on. I was so surprised with Dominique's lack of stuttering that for a moment I thought you forgot about it. Such a great thing you did there.

I cannot express with words how anxious I am to see what's in the future for Dominique and Teddy, especially after reading Abandon. Their character development is something I still marvel on.

The only complaint I have is the pace, which is a little too slow for me. I know you love angst and you're doing a brilliant job at showing everybody's emotions, but sometimes it gets repetitive. And a story needs its story, if you know what I mean :)

Sadly I can't guarantee you'd be hearing from me soon, but know one thing. I'm always here waiting for another great chapter (...gosh I hope I didn't come off as a stalker). For any mistakes blame the fact that I rarely use English as a form of communication.


Author's Response: Hello!

Wow, thank you so much for stopping by and leaving me a review! I wish that I had known that you were hanging around, I would have given you a shout out! Hahaha.

It's good to know that you enjoyed this story enough to keep reading. I get so self-conscious sometimes with my work and I'm not very confident that people like my stories. You've made me happy! :)

I liked this chapter a lot more than I thought I would! It took me a long time to write and flesh it out though but I think that it turned out okay.

Ah! You noticed the stuttering! I didn't have Dominique stuttering so much on purpose. As she gains confidence, you'll be seeing less of it and it might have something to do with her being so connected to Teddy.

You've read Abandon too?! Wow, I haven't had a review for that story in ages and it didn't seem like people were reading it at all lately. Thank you!

Technically, Transparent happens before Abandon so Dominique and Teddy are quite different in that story. I can't say what happens to them in Transparent just yet but just stay tuned, their character development is just getting started! :3

This was more like a prelude to disaster, which is why it didn't move as quickly. I wasn't too satisfied with Dominique and Teddy's emotional range in this chapter, which is why it felt kind of repetitive.

I wasn't sure how far to push them but I actually had planned this to be much longer. There were certain details that I wasn't able to fit in, so I've decided to save it for the next chapter.

Aw, I hope I hear from you again soon but you totally don't sound like a stalker or anything. *Nervous laugh*

See you again!

Much love,


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Review #14, by HealerGirl Unlucky

1st May 2016:
Hey Gabbie,

i absolutely love your fanfic!
i can almost physically grasp the feelings Teddy has for Dome.
Your writing style and way of describing their feelings is almost delicate.
I'm not joking when i say it's my favourite fanfiction at the moment.
to be exact it's in my top 3 fanfictions of all the time together with "turning tables" and "the winds of azkaban".
so pleeease continue writing!

love and support from a german fangirl :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much, I am beyond flattered that this story has reached out to so many people all over the world! Gosh, that just blows my mind!

I never thought anyone would be all that interested in this story but you've made me feel so much better. :) I think that Teddy and Dominique are very fragile people so I try not to push them too far emotionally.

Turning Tables is a great story! Yes!

I'm so honored that you love this story so much, I'll try to update soon!

Much love,

Gabbie ;)

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Review #15, by CassiePotter Unlucky

28th April 2016:
Seriously, this chapter was AMAZING. I think this might be my favorite one yet. I felt so nervous for Dominique the whole time she was talking to Tiberius, because it seemed like he was going to look into her eyes and be able to guess everything that was going on. He really is terrifying, and I'm so impressed that Dominique was able to stay composed while she was talking to him! I think I would have been shaking and crying if I were her!
I LOVE Teddy's character development. He's changed a lot over the course of this story, and I think it's because Dom is bringing out some of the better parts of him that are buried down inside somewhere. He seems much more human, and is showing vulnerabilities that I don't think he would have ever admitted to at the beginning of this story.
Dom has changed to, and I think it's also for the better, even if she's taking crazy risks like this. She's so much stronger than people giver her credit for, and I really admire her.
OH MY GOSH THEY KISSED. YES. That moment was so tender and sweet, even though the circumstances were so frightening. I think Teddy really does care for her, and she for him, and I think that moment really showed it. They both let their walls down a little bit.
AND THEN TIBERIUS HAD TO COME AND RUIN IT. WHY. I just want to kick him! Don't ruin the sweet moment and take Dom away from Teddy! Don't do it Tiberius!
And now she has to go and dance with him, and that can't end well at all. I'm really terrified for her! I hope Teddy gets his father's watch back soon so they can just get out of there!
This chapter was absolutely brilliant. I adore this story and can't wait for more! I want more cute Teddy and Dom moments now that they've had this one!
Cassie :)

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Review #16, by CassiePotter The Green Dragon

22nd November 2015:
Gabbie, I need more of this! You picked the most interesting spot to end this chapter! It's the perfect cliffhanger, because I have to know what's going to happen next!
I could totally picture everything inside the Green Dragon. I can't blame Dom for wanting to look around and stare at everything in a place like that, where everything is so luxurious and grand! Hopefully she didn't look to naive or out of place, though. She has to make people believe she wants to be there.
She hasn't had to be too lovey with Teddy yet, even though he did sneak a few kisses, but I have a feeling that she's going to have to really work to make people believe that she's his fiancee and wants to be with him.
I think Teddy seemed very protective of her, and it was almost sweet to see the way he was looking out for her. He knows that she's nervous and is trying to make things as easy for her as possible.
OH MY GOSH TIBERIUS. I have to know, does this take place before or after the events of Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince? And he's the one with the pocket watch! I'm so intrigued! I just need more to read!
I hope you update this story soon! I absolutely love it! I think that aside from A Force of Wills, this one is my favorite. I just love Dom, and think the way she and Teddy's relationship has developed is fascinating.
This was an amazing chapter and I can't wait for more!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for attacking this chapter right away! That makes me so happy because I wrote this all at around five in the morning so there were a few things that I wasn't sure about. :D

I had a lot of trouble picturing the Green Dragon, I couldn't quite get the image that I wanted for some reason. I looked at a lot of pictures of gentleman's clubs (not strip clubs, mind you), mansions, dance clubs and even mansions to get the feel of this place just right. There are still a ton of details about it that I didn't write but I think I will in the next chapter.

I think the appeal of the Dragon is that everything is so shiny and new, it's impossible to NOT be distracted. I don't think Dom was prepared for that but whether or not she fits in will be something that I play around with in the next chapter. I wanted this one to be longer but because I was so sleepy, I decided to cut it short. On the plus side, I get to do more in chapter thirteen!

I didn't get a chance to have Dom being very lovey dovey with Teddy yet but that will come into play soon too. He snuck in a few kisses but they'll really need to be more convincing if they want people to believe that they belong there.

Teddy is doing the best that he can at the moment, he's trying to protect Dom but at the same time he has to put on an act too. I honestly think that he cares about her more than he's willing to say, they had quite a few little moments in this chapter that hinted at how he might feel.

TIBERIUS! A lot of people haven't been reading Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince so seeing him again won't come as a surprise. This story takes place a year before Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince. I may be wrong but it might actually be two, since Abandon takes place a year before it as well. Hm.

Anyway, Tiberius is the one who has the pocket watch! The details as to why and how are things that I'll include in the next chapter but I plan on updating soon! I hope you like the next chapter too, it's going to be pretty intense!

A Force of Wills is next!

Thanks so much!

Much love,


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Review #17, by ScorpiusRose17 Blue-Haired Devil

26th October 2015:
Gabbie This is sooo awesome!!!

I just love this!!!

I laughed at George. I just love how he tugs on Teddy's ear and makes him spill the beans so to speak. Kind of funny coming from the guy who only has one ear! Then when he said that he would spank Teddy... wow! I just laughed. There wasn't anything else I could do. George is just one of those old school guys who is seriously serious and seriously funny. You did an amazing job capturing him!

Teddy really irks me. He is so... rude and yet at the same time he is relatable. I think that everyone can relate to that one person they know that acted the way that Teddy does. Maybe not to the same extreme extent here with the firing from his job for a very serious reason, but you know a guy that is like that.

Fred was great also. I like that he wasn't impressed with Teddy's antics. I think that he is a good solid character with a moral compass or so I like to think he is. Sure he doesn't like Malfoy, but then again he is a Weasley so I am not at all surprised. I love seeing the differences between him and his dad in terms of personality. George is more mellow, while Fred has that side to him, but he is or seems a bit more intense.

I felt awful for Dominique again. Here she is snooping and Roxanne scares the living daylights out of her and what happens next... Teddy. What a scoundrel he is!

And another cliff hanger!!!

You are just doing such an awesome job with this. My only CC for this would be the spacing! Other then that superb!! :)


Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back! I really, really love writing George and having him being the one to punish Teddy was just so much fun. The thing about him tugging on his ear didn't make much sense to me until I read your review. The contrast is great, you're so smart! Hahahah. George doesn't spank his own children much but he does have his moments when he's very stern with them.

Teddy is no different.

I think everyone knows someone like Teddy or have felt like him at least once. He's a very complicated person and yet, I really love writing him.

I feel like Fred is just used to Teddy getting into trouble, he isn't proud of him but he knows how to handle him better than most people. Fred doesn't like Benjamin Malfoy mainly for the fact that Roxanne spends a lot of time with him. He's very overprotective. I think that he is a lot like their dad though, he's very mellow like George but he's pretty rational too like Angelina. ;)

Another cliffhanger! I'm sorry!

I hope we swap again this weekend!

Much love,


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Review #18, by ScorpiusRose17 Playmate

25th October 2015:
Hi Gabbie!!

I am here with another review for you!! Sorry it takes me so long to read!!

I really enjoyed this chapter. I am mad at both Teddy and Victoire at this point because Teddy is purely evil and I hope Victoire can see the value of her sister as this continues. Poor Dominique. I just want her to throw that hot liquid in his face because he seriously deserves it!!

Hmmm... Logan seems interesting. I wonder if he'll play a role later on.

I didn't see anything that stood out to my typo, spelling, grammar wise. I liked the spacing here better then I did in the first chapter. It was easier on the eyes or maybe I am just getting old? ;)

I am nervous about what Teddy is going to do with Dominique. I don't trust him and so far I just don't like him at all. I have never not liked Teddy Lupin before so this is sort of awesome to see him as a bad guy. How he ended up in Gryffindor is a mystery to me. Also, I am really thinking that there is more to what happened between Victoire and Teddy that meets the eye. There is a lot of hostility there.

Keep up the awesome work!! I look forward to reading on! :)


Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back! I'm glad that you enjoyed this chapter and being angry at Teddy and Victoire is totally fine. Hahaha. I wouldn't say that Teddy is pure evil but he is really awful. Hahaha. I think he's just really cynical.

You know, Victoire doesn't think of Dominique's feelings at all during the first five chapters of this story. I think that she'll regret it later. Dominique would have punched Teddy if she had been able to.

Logan DOES show up again but he hasn't made an appearance just yet. I'm working on it!

There are a lot of people who comment on the fact that Teddy is so different from what they're used to. That makes me so happy because I never want you guys to find too many similarities between my version and everyone else's. I never saw him as a good guy though for some reason and the fact that he's in Gryffindor has more to do with what he thought everyone else wanted than what he really wanted to be. It's kind of sad.

Oh, there's way more that happened between Teddy and Victoire. I just haven't truly revealed it yet. ;)

Thanks again!

Much love,


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Review #19, by ScorpiusRose17 The Favor

25th October 2015:
Hi Gabbie!!

So here I am with chapter 1. I am sorry that it took me longer than intended to get to.

I really liked this! I don't normally read a lot of stories about Victoire, Dominique and their family. They are usually just sprinkled in throughout the Next Gen stories I come across so this was truly a nice change of pace.

I feel so awful for Dominique. She stutters, she's over shadowed by her sister and something happened to her that involved pigs and Teddy Lupin. I am super curious to find out what happened. It sort of reminds me of the Kings Speech where he is picked on relentlessly by his older brother and it causes a stutter... so to find out what happened will really be a profound point for her.

I love the details you give about the surrounding areas and even to the characters themselves. I am easily able to picture everything and I love that this chapter opens up the entire story and ends with a cliff hanger to compete with all other cliff hangers.

A couple of things that I would say about this chapter is the spacing is a bit off and sort of feels like work going from one paragraph to the next. It isn't a huge deal, but I felt that it possibly slowed my reading time down a bit. Something to consider I suppose.

The other thing that I found was minor and I assume that when you read through and edited it was just a small over sight was this...

" Teddy Lupin was nothing but a stupid a bully and Dominique had never been able to stand him, finding that his presence usually brought on"

a stupid a bully -is the part I am pointing out. Just one to many a's.

I look forward to reading the next chapter and seeing where this is going to go. I am nervous for Dominique because of Teddy and Victoire, but at the same time I am completely intrigued!

Keep up the awesome work!


Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by with these great reviews and I'm sorry that I'm just not replying to them all. Real life has been a pain. Hahaha.

I don't read too many stories with Dominique and her family either. I don't know why but I just never stumble upon them much but I got the idea for this randomly one day and just had to write it down. The image of her just sitting alone at Dobby's grave was enough to get me writing and then there was that thing with the pigs that just never left either. Not sure what bacon has to do with anything but there you go!

Dominique's low confidence comes from a lot of things but I think it stems mostly from how she's so overshadowed by her sister. Their parents aren't very affectionate with her either so that plays a crucial role in how she views the world. Plus, her stutter makes it hard too but I haven't really revealed why she has it just yet. I'm getting there though.

I really, really LOVE detail. I go overboard with it a lot but I think it helps to keep you guys grounded in my stories. I'm learning not to do it so often though but I like that you loved the cliffhanger of this!

I used the simple editor when this was posted originally and the spacing things and paragraphs are my fault. I'll clean that up eventually, along with those CC's everyone mentions. Hahaha.

Thanks for this!

Much love,


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Review #20, by carry on with your knitting The Favor

6th September 2015:
Hey Gabbie!

I'm here for the review swap! :) this one caught my eye so I just had to give it a read!

I love the way that you wrote Dom, she is the total opposite to her sister and has elements to her that I think a lot of people will relate to. For me she came across as quite awkward and the type of person whom embarrassing things always happen to, which is deffinitely something that happens to me a lot :') I also loved that where her sister is so selfish, she it totally selfless; she thinks about the effect her sisters action will have on her younger brother, but also her her parents, who she admittedly isn't that close to and I think that a really nice characters trait!

I really dislike victorie! Omg what a bitch! (Not that you've written her badly, she's just so horrible) you describe her as totally vain and self centred throughout and completely manipulative, she's just the kind of character I love to hate! I also really like that you made her ginger! A lot of people write her as blonde, but the Wesley ginger gene is obviously quite strong, so Bill has to have at least one ginger child! :)

Now on to Teddy, you have a real knack for writing complex male characters! And for some reason I just can't help but feel a little attracted to them... It's probably teddy's arrogance it I just love him :') he's a totally bastard but I really see the potential for him to change I to a good person:)

I feel so bad for Dom, she is literally stuck in the middle of to evil people who are basically the opposite gender versions of each other! And the poor girl getting caught!

You have me hooked already and I've actually already read ahead a little! I can't wait to read more, another brilliant story! :)

Katie :)

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thanks a bunch for all of the reviews that you've left for my stories. They've been great and so inspiring!

I've said this before but I don't really read many stories about Dom. I can't quite think of her as not a little introverted for some reason. I'm glad that you were able to connect with her though, I sometimes worry that no one would be able to understand what she's going through. I think that she is more responsible than her older sister and a bit more compassionate because of the way she's been left alone for most of her life. She worries about the state of the family way more than Victoire would.

You're supposed to dislike Victoire. Haha. I wrote her as the most unlikeable person that I could for a reason but I can't give it away just yet. I also never pictured her as a blonde for some reason and prefer her being a redhead. Hahahah. She has no soul!

I love complex male characters and Teddy is the ultimate nightmare. Haha. I do love writing him but he's a horrible, horrible person and there's no getting around that. I think that you'll love him once you keep reading though.


Thanks again!

Much love,


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Review #21, by Gossip Girl Playmate

1st September 2015:
Hey, HPFFers. Gossip Girl here with yet another scoop on the Wizarding World's favorite famous family.

While it's not uncommon to catch self-proclaimed bad boy Teddy Lupin shacked up in a cafe with a gorgeous blonde, it is a shock to this writer that he would choose the sister of his arch nemesis. For those readers who are completely oblivious to the local gossip chain, T and Vic have had a fued stretching back to their days in diapers, a welcome change from the usual love story expected out of the two of them. Which begs the question, why is he suddenly interested in the Invisible Weasley?

A source close to me that shall remain nameless has gotten wind that a certain blonde was spotted carrying what seemed to be a pregnancy potion when confronted by her blue haired assailant, yet no one can remember seeing anyone who fits her description purchasing one. A mystery that makes this reader want to know more. My source has done a superb job dropping in hints and facts that answer enough questions to keep the reader satisfied, but creates enough to make keep them coming back for more. Coupled with some amazing and interesting characters, I give this source two thumbs way up.

We're going to have to keep an eye on that waiter, he seems like he could be a new contender for the title of lonely boy.

What do you think, dear readers? Could it be that the Invisible Weasley is finally making a move outside of her sister's shadow? Or does T have another idea? One thing's for sure, this is just the beginning.

You know you love me,

XOXO Gossip Girl

Author's Response: Hello!

What an honor to be given a review from the one and only Gossip Girl! I don't know how to respond! Hahaha.

I think the fact that Teddy is interested in the Invisible Weasley would require you to ask the man himself. His relationship with Victoire, or lack thereof is up for debate but for now, we can only assume that he has a need for Dominique that isn't entirely noble. I saw them together myself not too long ago and I have to say, blonde and blue go well together.

It would help if the Invisible Girl looked happy about it...

Your source sounds like quite the find and I applaud them for requesting this story to you. We will have to keep one another updated as more mysteries unfold, though I worry that Dominique will not move far from her sister's shadow. After all, it was her fault that she was trapped into this situation but I digress. :D

Thanks for the review!

Much love,


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Review #22, by EnigmaticEyes16 The Favor

30th August 2015:
Hi! I'm finally here for our swap! Sorry it took so long. And so sorry about your job, I do hope you find another one soon!

On to the review, I've never read a Dominique with a stutter and so the fact that your Dom has one is very interesting. And I'm very curious as to just what and who caused it since it's clearly not something she started out with, and what does it have to do with pigs?

Victoire seems like a very annoying person to be related to. Dom is clearly spiteful and envious towards Victoire since she thinks she's so perfect and because she keeps their parents from noticing Dom and Louis basically, as long as they have Victoire the others are very much invisible to them. I can't believe she's pregnant though! And expects Dom to get her the test for her? I wonder what their parents would do if they found out? Although I think Victoire's use of Dom's insecurities against her to get what she wants is very rude. You can tell Victoire is used to getting her way and doesn't like it when people say no to her.

I'm not completely surprised Dom agreed to buy Victoire's pregnancy test kit though. Even though she's not fond of her sister she still clearly longs for her love and affection. I wonder though exactly what she will ask for in return, and if this really is the last favor she'll do.

I feel sorry for Dom that her sister takes all the glory from both their parents and the kids at Hogwarts. I have to imagine it must be strange to be used to being ignored and made fun of, and then all of a sudden even boys are noticing her and smiling at her, but then she has to remind herself that it's not her they are seeing because of the polyjuice potion. I wonder who the girl is though that she's become and if anyone will recognize her.

Teddy sounds like an interesting character. I wonder why he likes to make fun of her stutter, that seems mean. And I'm still very curious as to what happened with the pigs. I wonder if he's the reason she has the stutter and that's why she hates him? Although if seeing him causes butterflies in her stomach, I have to wonder if she feels more than just hate for the boy. I think it's interesting though that he's not so close with most of her family and seems to hold a bit of a grudge against them for having parents when he never got to know his.

Okay, I'm finally at the end of this very long chapter and I don't think I like Teddy so much now. I had a feeling something bad would happen with him, that he'd recognize her somehow, and of course it happened. I can't believe Dom let it slip though that the test was for Toire, sounds like Teddy's already has something in mind about what to do with that information. i wonder what he wants from Dom though now? I'm very curious to find out more and I may just have to read on to find out.

Great first chapter, Gabbie! Sorry it took me forever to finish this swap, this chapter was a little too long for me to read in one go, lol.


Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you for this really great review and for doing this swap with me. At the time, I was really upset but I'm doing much better now and you're a doll. :D

I have never read many stories with Dominique but for some reason, the stutter was something that never left my mind when I came up with this story. In fact, I pictured Dominique so clearly in my mind and this entire first chapter is basically what I imagined. I don't know WHY I pictured her with a stutter but now I can't think of her any other way but I can't tell you about what happened with the pigs. >:)

I'm actually glad that you pointed out Dom's dislike of her sister. A lot of people immediately side with her and are sympathetic but there are traits about Dom that aren't all that pleasant either. I know that Victoire is pretty awful though so it's easy to see why they wouldn't really want to support her. I do believe that Victoire is very spoiled and entitled, which is why she always relies on Dom to help her. There are other factors at play here but I can't go into that right now but Dom desperately wants to be loved by her sister on one hand and resents her on the other. It wasn't a surprise that she helped but she'll regret it later, I assure you.

Dun, dun, dun!

I think that a part of Dom's problems are her lack of confidence. I didn't really play with that idea in this chapter but I think that being overshadowed for so long has her confidence a lot. It must be nice though to be looked by boys like she's important. You know, I never thought of who the hair belonged to that Victoire used for the Polyjuice potion. That's actually an interesting question, it's kind of silly of me not to have answered it by now. Hahahaha.

Teddy is a complicated person and he has a reason for bullying Dom the way he does. I don't think that you'll like him much as this chapter goes on but you should be aware of how nasty he'll get. Hahha. He is the reason for the pig incident though, they'll mention it later on, though I don't really go into much detail about it for some reason.

I think Dom's reaction to Teddy, the butterflies were mostly from the fact that he seemed so charming. I think any girl could fall for a sweet smile but it does make you wonder, doesn't it? Hehehe. I don't think that you'll like Teddy much but if you want to read more about him you should try reading "Glass" on my page. It explains so much more about how he is and why.

Teddy is a pretty perceptive guy and he is actually kind of cunning. Dom got herself into a situation with him and now she's stuck for the moment. I hope you stop by again soon, it was so great catching up with you!

Much love,


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Review #23, by mymischiefmanaged Playmate

27th August 2015:
HI Gabbie, here for our swap :)

So I think this story is incredibly well written and really original. Your Dominique is very unusual and I really like her. You've shown how a character can be shy and socially awkward but still have a strong personality and think for themselves, which I think is really important. I like her lots and I'm looking forward to seeing how she develops as a character.

You've written Teddy very well. He's really, really horrible, and his taunting of Dominique is incredibly cruel. I kind of don't really know what to make of it, though. It's well written and their dynamic is really interesting, but I find it quite hard to believe that Harry's godson would behave like this. I hope that we gain some more understanding of what's led him to be this way, and hopefully later on he'll have a chance to redeem himself? What you've done with him is very original though, and it does work well. I'm just very attached to the idea of a sweet Teddy.

I'm looking forward to seeing more of Victoire. From what we know of her so far she seems really difficult, but I like to think that she's earned Dominique's extreme loyalty somehow, and would be interested to see how.

This is a really intriguing second chapter and you've set this story up to be really interesting. All of your characters seem like they have some big developments to go through and I'm excited to see where you take them.

As always, I'm super impressed by your writing :)

Emma x

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by with this lovely review. I really needed something positive today!

I don't read a lot of stories that feature Dominique as a lead character very often so I think it's interesting how people tell me she's so different. Hm. Maybe I should branch out a bit, eh? I think that Dom doesn't understand her own strength though, which is why she alternates between very shy and even docile to the little sarcastic version that we briefly see here. Teddy finds it fascinating too and although he has his reasons, I think you'll be surprised when you find out why later on.

Anyway, Teddy Lupin is a horror. I'm not really fond of writing squeaky clean characters, no matter their background so the fact that he's so terrible here was great to write. Oh, he's awful but there's just something about him that makes me want to smack/hug him. Hahahah. I wrote Benjamin Malfoy from my story "Abandon" this way as a well. Oh, how the ladies swooned over that monster...


I think that you should keep on reading if you want to know more about why Teddy's this terrible. I will tell you though, that the explanation might make you hate me a little bit. What's strange is that Harry hasn't shown up in this story at all and while it's mostly because of time and my laziness, you'll understand more about his relationship with Teddy if you read on. Around chapter...six or seven, you find out more than you need to about why Teddy is so complex.

We see Victoire again in chapter five. I'm curious to know what you'll think of her after reading it too! Muahahahahha.

Thank you for the review, sweetie!


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Review #24, by MadiMalfoy Playmate

25th August 2015:
Hello! I'm back for the review you requested in my thread a little over a month ago! :)

Alright, since you just wanted a general, I'll touch on things I think you did well first and then give you some CCs on others later.

Firstly, I had actually forgotten how dastardly and insidious you made Teddy Lupin in this, so his characterization caught me off guard a bit until I remembered. His ruthlessness in threatening Dominique is stellar and his ability to immediately transition into smooth talker is just perfect! Although it does make me hate him a bit :P My only question about his characterization is who raised him? How did he get to be so mean and the like? I think that would better help justify his behavior since the majority of headcanons have Teddy being raised jointly by Harry/Ginny and Andromeda, all of whom are sincerely nice and caring people, so it wouldn't make sense to have such a mean-spirited teenager come out of that loving family. Since you gave the waiter guy a name and relationship to other characters in the story, I do hope he shows up again later on! Especially since he gave Dom that little confidence booster. I can tell already I like him. :P As far as the scene in its entirety goes, I think it flows at a decent pace, although the back and forth between Teddy and Dominique does feel a bit long to me, even with the relevant dialogue in there.

Speaking of Dom, YOU GO GIRL AND STAND UP TO TEDDY! It's very realistic that she lost her stutter when she gets angry at him and spits venom. Love it! However, in the first chapter especially, I feel like you've almost overdone her stutter a bit? Unless she has a very severe stutter I don't think she would be stuttering over every/every other word, but it's a lot less noticeable in this chapter. Obviously her stutter will fluctuate depending on how comfortable she is with the person she's talking to, but I would love to see her have some stutter-free moments of dialogue out of happiness instead of anger, just as a bit of contrast later on. I would also like to know just how Victoire and Dominique and Louis were raised by Bill and Fleur--considering Bill comes from the Weasleys, I feel there should be some sense of love and kindness somwhere, but I also understand Fleur's veela side may be more prevalent in Victoire and such as they all get older, so that could also play a role. Basically I just want more backstory!! :P

Overall, I think this is a great second chapter and I would be happy to read several more of these for you! Re-request anytime. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by with this great review!

A lot of people don't understand how Teddy turned out to be such a jerk. Hahah. I honestly don't write him as being very nice because I didn't find it compelling enough. There are a lot of reasons why he is this way though and I can't give them away just yet. Harry and Ginny may be his godparents but you don't really get that feeling from this story. I haven't introduced either of them quite yet and don't even get me started on Andromeda.


If you read on, especially if you get to chapter six, you'll know why he is this way and might feel differently towards him.

His behavior towards Dominique is awful but it changes subtly over time. I think that you'll be surprised by WHY he seems to dislike her so much though but that's for another chapter. BUT you can read my one-shot "Glass" if you want to cheat and get a head start. :D

Logan Rookwood (The waiter that Dom kind of crushed on) will show up later on in the story but as of yet, he hasn't made an appearance again.

Dom's stutter is cleaned up in the next few chapters because so many of you pointed it out to me. Hahaha. Victoire and her siblings weren't brought up badly but once again, you'll get your answers if you keep on reading. :D

Thank you for the review!

Much love,


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Review #25, by RavenclawFTW The Favor

14th August 2015:
Hey Gabbie! Here for the swap!

So I'm really intrigued by this first chapter! This has so many original components going on.

First off, your Dom! She's so so so different from how I usually see her written (not to mention how I write her myself!). You've done a great job not only making her sympathetic but realistic. I love that she has a stammer, not because I like her misfortune but 1. that's not something I ever see represented in fanfic, but is really important nonetheless, and 2. because I feel like it adds a lot to her character. It seems like she's always fighting an uphill battle, and I'm really intrigued to learn what it is that caused her stutter! You've really drawn me in with that.

This Victoire is also really different than I usually see. She's a total bully, but not in the normal way I see written-- she's actually making Dom do all this stuff that Dom doesn't want to do, while usually I see Dom just being annoyed to live in her shadow while Victoire is all perfect and witchy (if you know what I mean). In this, Victoire is straight up manipulative and I honestly just want to punch her in the face! (Well...unless she's pregnant, I guess, because it's poor form to punch a pregnant lady.)

And then Teddy! Oh man oh man how did Teddy ever become such a monumental jerk?! I've never read such an unsympathetic Teddy in my life!! I'm really really curious to see where you're going with him and his character, especially because I see that this fic isn't tagged Victoire/Teddy so there may be some Dom/Teddy in the future?

Finally I really enjoyed how you describe the apothecary and Diagon Alley in general! You included several wonderful details and I could both see how it's changed over time and feel the similarities between this world and canon. :)

Thanks for this swap! I really liked reading this chapter! Great job! :D


Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by! *Squish*

I don't really read many stories that feature Dom as a main character. I've read a few and for some reason, this version of her was the one that I couldn't get rid of, including the stammer. I don't know why though. I think that Dom goes through a lot of personal battles within herself and with her family but she slowly starts coming into herself as the story goes along.

Victoire is not a very kind person and I didn't want to paint her that way either. I didn't think that she would waste her time being nice or anything like that but she is very manipulative. I think that it's sad but it's the way their relationship is. What's sad is that there are real siblings like this.

Well, if you kept reading, you'd understand more about Teddy. Hahaha. I think that I like writing him this way the most because you guys just flip out when you read this for the first time! Hahaha.

I won't tell you if there'll be Teddy/Dom in the future. That would ruin the surprise! ;)

Awww, thank you so much!


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