Reading Reviews for Transparent
  
32 Reviews Found

Review #1, by crestwood Empty

30th August 2014:
Hey Gabbie!

I must say, this is my favorite chapter yet. I know I said that about the last chapter. But this one is even better than that one, I'm sure of it.
You've practically deconstructed your version of Teddy Lupin. We saw so many different sides to him here and it was kind of terrifying in a way. He seems just so pathetic and sincere in this chapter, but at the same time, I feel like I have to be careful to trust a single word he says. I feel like he could lash out at any moment. You've really written instability in a way that truly dives so deeply into the roots of what makes a person the way they are that it's scary.

Teddy and Dominique have this strange sort of chemistry. He's so manipulative and untrustworthy that I don't think Dominique should like him, but if she did, I totally wouldn't blame her if that makes any sense... The vitrol between Victoire and Teddy is unsettling. I really do wonder what happened between them because it feels as though something is being left unsaid. This Knockturn alley business seems very shady and I can't wait to see what kind of trouble Dominique and Teddy get into.

You're are seriously such a good writer. I can't wait to read on when you post more!

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Review #2, by AdinaPuff The Favor

26th August 2014:
Hi, here for our review swap!

Poor Dominique. She seems like she's leading a rough life. I would be miserable, as well, if I were her. I don't know how she deals with it. She seems so unloved and used. No one seems grateful of her. It's sad.

Victoire is a brat. I cannot stand her! She's so stuck up and spoiled. That is her character, though, and you wrote we wonderfully. As a writer, I appreciate her. As a reader, I despise her :'D she uses Dominique a lot, it seems.

And oh dear, Teddy sure is one arrogant piece of work. Again, that's how you've written him, and he's a strong character. But I wouldn't stand him if I were Dom, which seems to be her case as well. He's nosy, as well. Very persistent. You did great writing him!

Thanks for the swap! Lovely first chapter!

-Leigh

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by with this swap, I actually need to head over to your own work and leave a review. Hahahaha. Forgive me!

Poor Dominique indeed! I'm not sure how she deals with it either but I think what's sadder is that she's so used to it. Her parents sort of push her aside and Victoire is terrible as an older sister so I think she's found a balance of not really being there and staying in her own head.

Hahahah, I don't think anyone likes Victoire and she's supposed to be that way. HAHAHAH, I hope that you'll be able to forgive me for what I've done to her character later though!

Teddy is an entire different species of awful and I'm glad that he's stood out to you! Dom can't stand him but she's not sure if she'll ever be able to escape him either and that's where the fun is!

Thanks for the swap, I'll get to you as soon as I can!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #3, by mymischiefmanaged The Favor

18th August 2014:
Hey Gabbie! Here with your requested review.

This was a really great first chapter. I love Dom, Victoire's awful but fascinating, and you've written Teddy really well. I like this shy, insecure Dominique. It's a huge contrast to the way people usually write her so I think this story's going to be really original.

The pregnancy test was a really good way to get a clear beginning/middle/end structure and it gave us a lot of insight into Dom and Toire's sibling relationship.

I think Victoire does care about her sister, although she didn't really do a good job of showing it here. I'm sure we'll get a better understanding of their dynamic in later chapters. You've set them up to be really interesting here.

I don't know whether the pregnancy's going to be a key component of the plot yet - it wouldn't surprise me if Victoire had been making a fuss over nothing and wasn't pregnant after all - so I'm looking forward to seeing where you take that storyline.

I'm really interested in finding out why Teddy's grown up to be the way he is. It doesn't seem like what you'd expect of Remus's son and Harry's godson so I'm hoping he's got some back story to explain his character. Or maybe it's just that Dominique doesn't understand him well enough to see what he's really like? Either way, he works very well as a character here but I think there definitely needs to be some explanation of who he is later on in the novel.

Dom's stutter is a really interesting approach to her character and opens up lots of opportunities for character development, but I think you perhaps didn't need to give her a stutter on every word? Maybe every other few words would have made the chapter flow a bit better.

I think this review should be longer to do your writing justice but I really can't think of any other feedback to give. Overall, I really enjoyed reading this and you've definitely caught my interest. It's longer than most opening chapters but it didn't feel too long while I was reading this so I don't think that's anything to worry about.

Really good work. Make sure to rerequest if you want!

Thanks for all your support on 'Complicated' - you've been invaluable.

Emma xx

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Review #4, by TidalDragon Empty

17th August 2014:
Okey dokey. Toying with people with cliffhangers again...tsk tsk.

Anyway, the great tension of this chapter for me is more in what's unsaid than what is, which I think is an accomplishment on your part. Obviously you have the APPARENT change in Teddy and his behavior (though like Dominique is asking herself, can we even trust that?) and you have Victoire trying to give advice (seemingly earnestly). But between the lines are the questions. What really DID transpire between Teddy and Victoire? IS Teddy being truly (to quote your title) transparent with Dominique? It made it easier and more compelling to read than the last chapter.

However, I think the dialogue in this one needs touching up in spots. Particularly toward the beginning with Teddy and Dominique going back and forth (and at other points in their conversation) it was quite redundant. I definitely get Dominique pressing for answers and Teddy being oblique, but this went beyond that were at times segments of the conversation read a bit like treading water.

Since you're concerned about pace, I'll be honest and say I think it's moving pretty slow. We've just had 18,000 words on not even an entire day (I'm feeling it's maybe...2:00 PM or so?). Because the characters are so interesting I think it gives you more latitude, but a large part of the pull to press forward is coming from well-written cliffhangers at this point. Obviously you'll have to hit this whole "Night in Knockturn Alley" business next (I think - but maybe you'll prove me wrong), but after that I think you'd want to make some substantial progression in terms of time unless you're really intending this story to fit in a very small window (a few months or less) overall (which isn't the vibe I'm getting since you're asking about pace).

Keep on keeping on. Your writing skills are killer.

Author's Response: Hello!

Bwhahah, one of my other reviewers called me the "Cliffhanger Queen" and I'm sort of living up to that nickname. She also said that I was the "Queen of Angst" and that I should take responsibility for making her cry but I shall not. Tears fuel my power, as I'm sure you know. >:)

Anyhoo! I had a hard time with this chapter, I hadn't actually written a fresh chapter for this story in about two months so it didn't really grip me the way it should have with a lot of aspects. It took me at least two weeks to just get this written and then I edited the living daylights out of it once I was finished. I'm still not satisfied...

What's left unsaid is mostly what charged this chapter for me as well. What isn't being said? Can anyone actually trust Teddy and what he has to say? Dominique has been wondering what happened between Teddy and Victoire for a while now and I think that she might just get her answers. I set up an entire history between those two that I can't wait to write but for right now...why does Victoire suddenly care? I think that was a good question to ask on Dom's part.

I looked over this chapter not too long ago and I think the dialogue sort of fell flat, I wasn't sure what happened. Its my own fault for taking such a long break and tends to happen a lot when I'm not really interested in what I'm writing. So...I take full blame for that.

I sort of want to go back and edit Dom's conversation with Teddy but I need to keep pressing on. I'm not sure when I'll be able to clean it up but I'll be more aware of it in the next chapter, which I just started on. Hopefully, it won't destroy me...

T-T My stories tend to move very slowly when it comes to actual plot progression. Its the one thing people are always fussing at me about so I'm going to try and just push on forward and skip a few things that I wanted to write in the next chapter, just to move things along. I'm going to try and challenge myself to write the Night in Knockturn Alley bit (I'm stealing this as a chapter title by the way so thanks. Hahahaha.) in this upcoming chapter. I'd wanted to introduce Lucy and Percy because I think you would enjoy seeing them but for right now, I might have to actually hold off. I also need to hint at things that happened in "Glass" so that might take most of my time. T-T

As for time, this story does take place in the span of a month or two. Compared to my other stories, this is actually two years behind "Abandon" (Roxanne Weasley thingy) and about three years behind Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince (My panty loving story with Albus Potter and friends) so I have to be careful about how much I actually put into this. I can't elude to something that was never mentioned in either of those stories so its difficult. T-T

Anyhoo, thanks so much for the words of wisdom and I'll try to do better next time! I'll have to request a review from you for one of my other stories, though I'm sure you won't like some of them...Hahahahaha.

Thanks so much!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #5, by TidalDragon Liar

17th August 2014:
Yikes. Teddy selling Lupin's watch to settle his debts. It's hard to know for sure, but it certainly seems like a new low based on his reaction. It's intriguing to see him be the one in need here and though I would love for Dominique to just leave him swinging in the wind here, she obviously won't both because of the potential payoff and because of who she is.

Bill was an interesting character for me to see more of in this chapter though. Obviously we're not terribly bound by canon as regards him, but it's striking to me how cold he seems. I don't really know what he's been through post-War, but I don't know...I never expected Bill Weasley to rub me the wrong way, but here he is anyway. Fleur I can understand more, at least as you've characterized her, but Bill...man. Disappointing.

This chapter was again pretty heavy on the character development (seeming pretty Louis and Bill-centric) as opposed to moving forward really up until the end, but as usual it was well-written. You've got a real talent for making the goings on of part of a single, seemingly insignificant day somehow intriguing so kudos on keeping that up.

See you next chapter!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by my friend from Fanfic Land. Its great to see you, I was just about to log off when I noticed that I had two unanswered reviews and got all giggly and such.

Anyhoo, on to this! I think that Teddy selling his father's watch was a new low for him and even as I wrote it, I wasn't sure if I was going to keep it. I had to actually backtrack a bit to see if this was what I needed from his character at the moment and for some reason, it fit better than some of the other things that I'd tried to work in.

I'm trying to set up his feelings for his father in a way that might make sense later but its hard to get past what he did. Dominique I think really had a hard time in deciding on whether or not she should leave him hanging but like you said, it wasn't really going to work out because of who she was and the thought of being free of him forever. Or until I think of something else to torture her with.

Okay, I have never written Bill and Fleur very often in my fanfics. I think that they're mentioned at most or have a brief cameo in my other stories but this is the first time that I've ever really written them and I had some trouble. From what I was able to hint at in the earlier chapters for this story, it was obvious that neither parent had a major relationship with Dom and that was tough to work around.

I think Bill is the sort of person that likes to live for appearances mostly and is a bit disappointed in how his family turned out. I'm not sure if it can be blamed all on him but its something that I wanted to try writing and my goodness, I'm sorry that he rubbed you the wrong way. Writing disappointed dads is hard! Compared to George, I think that he might just be like a poison.

I might have to go into more detail on Bill later though. I felt like I didn't give him much character or depth in this and since this chapter mostly focused on Dom trying to get a bit of attention from her mother, I kind of left him hanging in the wind. That's my own fault. Hahahhaa.

I think I'm going to try and lighten up on the character development for the next chapter. I'm trying to get the ball rolling a bit more for chapter eight and nine so I hope you can forgive the slow pace! D':

Thanks so much for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #6, by Dirigible_Plums Empty

13th August 2014:
Hi, it's me again. When I read your response to my review, I realised that I sounded quite insensitive and confusing. Trust me, that wasn't my intention. This review is more to clear stuff up.

1. I definitely don't think you're a bad writer. Sorry if you thought that. You ARE a good writer. When I said that this wasn't the "best written", I swear I didn't mean it that way. Basically, I spend a lot of time on other fanfic websites and most of the fics I read are written by people who are publishing their own novels (not that I don't think you could do that). So when I think of the best written fics out there, I usually think of them. So this is still very well written, if you get me? I enjoy reading this. Honestly, I do.

2. Generally speaking, I lean towards stories featuring the more popular Next Gen kids like Al, Rose and Scorpius so I don't read many stories featuring Teddy, Victoire and Dom as central characters. Truth be told, I agree with you with the whole picturing Dom and Vic as sisters that aren't that close thing. There's a lot that can get in the way. The only reason that I said that when I see Victoire, Teddy and Dom in the same summary, I get put off is bc I have a really strong bond with my own sisters. Seeing stuff like that isn't something that draws me in. However, the last line of your summary DID draw me in (I guess a part of me assumed that something had gone wrong with Teddy/Victoire ship and he was trying to get revenge) and I quickly realised that there was a lot more to this than I initially thought. I don't mind the fact that Vic and Dom aren't close, I just would've hated it if it was bc of a boy. Yes, it was wrong of me to assume that I knew the basic plot of the story but at least I'm reading, enjoying and tracking this now, right? ;)

3. As for the cliches, I'm glad you don't have them. It's refreshing tk see a Dom that isn't perfect or a Louis that doesn't easily sweep girls off their feet or a Teddy that is way more manipulative than I had him down for. I guess the fact that they're so original is why I like this so much. It's not an easy feat to guess what's coming in tje next chapter, we're all kept on our toes.

4. Take your time. I merely meant that I hope to read more of this in the future.

I actually am sorry if you took offence to any of this explanation or the first review. Honest to God, I do like this. It's probably my favourite portrayal of Dom tbh. I didn't mean any harm, I was just being a bit of a daft idiot when I reviewed.

Dirigible_Plums xoxo

Author's Response: Hello!

Well, I feel like I should be the one to make an apology because I was far more snippy than I had intended. You honestly didn't need to go this far to make amends when its pretty much my fault and there's really no harm done but I take full responsibility.

Anyway, I'm not the sort of writer that likes to brag about how amazing I am or anything because I usually don't think so. Hahahah. I'm glad that you like this story however and I hope to see you around again whenever I post another chapter but I have at least four other things to update at the moment and its kind of hard to balance them all right now. T-T

I hear that Al, Rose and Scorpius stories are really popular but I've never written them as teens, they're still eleven in one of my stories. I kind of don't have a real idea of how to write them for some reason as teens but anyway, I'm sure that a lot of people weren't really interested in this story when they sort of guessed that Dom and Victoire weren't close. Its not an easy thing to write or read but there's so much more going on that I might not focus on that too much but I love drama so I might just take that back. Hahahahah.

When I wrote this story, I was aware of only a few clichés, such as the girls being perfect and Teddy being this wonderful guy and that's just boring! I was never able to picture Teddy as a nice guy at all for some reason so I just had fun putting a twist on them.

Louis is twelve and kinda awkward so I don't think he'll be picking up girls anytime soon but he is adorable. Hahah. Teddy is a jerk and Victoire is...well, she's Victoire and Dom has her own flaws that I like to write.

Its perfectly all right, no need to be upset about anything! D': If you had enjoyed this story, you might want to check out the one-shot "Glass" with Teddy Lupin. Or, "Abandon" has Roxanne Weasley and an OC Malfoy that you might enjoy. Just to keep you busy until I update next.

*Bows* There's no harm done, please go back to reading and reviewing with happy thoughts!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #7, by The_Crookshanks_Saga The Favor

12th August 2014:
What? WHAT? What is this pure awesomeness?

I've never read a fanfic in which Dom pushed Toire around. Both are always such stong characters, so independent and proud-- but your characterization is kind of more interesting :)

The plot's interesting and I suck at reviewing, so let me only say that some of the lines sound a bit cliche, which always happens so don't worry too much. Just reread he chapter and you'll see what I mean.

Good chapter, good story, good job!

-Meena

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by and I totally owe you a review so be prepared for that! Hahaha.

I haven't read too many Dom/Toire stories but they're always portrayed as being really tough and cool I guess. Its fun switching that up and making them a bit more realistic, I didn't want to even make them likeable most of the time so I'm glad that you found that interesting!

I have an edited version of this chapter on my flshdrive but I seriously forget to upload it so that's my fault. Hahahah. Thanks for letting me know!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #8, by Dirigible_Plums Empty

11th August 2014:
Hi. It's kind of a coincidence that you updated bc I was actually thinking about this the other day. I don't know if I've already reviewed for this but lets act like I haven't. (By the way, my review will probably be short and horrible bc I'm on my phone. Please excuse the typos)

I'll be honest. I saw this a few times and didn't want to click on it. I don't know why but I think seeing the Weasley-Delacour sisters and Teddy Lupin in one summary just rings alarm bells in my head bc I hate boys getting inbetween sisters. When I took the time to read the summary properly, I was very interested so I read all the chapters that were uploaded (?) in one sitting. They were good. Again, I'll be honest, this isn't the best written story on the archives but you have a way of drawing people in and captivating them. Personally, I think the lack of cliches within this is what I like. Don't get me wrong, I read (and write) cliches as much as the next person, but seeing something new is so refreshing. I really like that your Dom isn't perfect and that your Teddy isn't the nicest guy to be around. It's not...superficial. Idk if that's the word that I'm looking for, but oh well.

I look forward to your next update!

Author's Response: Hello!


I certainly wasn't expecting to see a review for this chapter so soon so thanks for stopping by and everything. I'm not sure why you would have been so against reading this story but I haven't written this is as a typical love triangle or anything of the sort so I'm a bit confused on that. I had never thought of Dom or Victoire being particularly close either so I don't think even a boy could come between something that isn't there to begin with but that's just how I've written the pair of them. Uhm, thanks I guess for saying my story isn't very well written? I don't really know how to respond to that. If you had any critique to include that would have helped a lot because that honestly isn't telling me much. >.>

I'll never write a story with the same sort of cliché that I'm used to seeing so I'm glad that you were able to see that I guess?

Thanks for the review, I hope you stick around, it might be a while before the next chapter is up though since I have other stories to update.

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #9, by crestwood Liar

8th August 2014:
Wow, this chapter went above and beyond everything else before it. I really would have liked to meet Lucy, especially after reading her letter, she seems like a fun time. I love that Dominique is so obsessed with books, I honestly relate to her so much. Bill and Fleur are so different than in the books. They just have this lifelessness about them. I'd definitely be interested in finding out what has made them the way they are. Maybe later in the story we will. It's clear that there's a good reason Dominique prefers some of her Aunts and Uncles to them. Teddy finally has been humanized here toward the end. He was already so complex, so to add even more depth is unthinkable. If I was Dominique, I'd probably be so overwhelmed by everything that's happening. I knew that something had happened because of Teddy's radical change in appearance. I would like to read what George and Angie said to him and what he said back to almost bring them to tears. Also, stealing something of his dead father's is pretty low, but just about what I expect of Teddy at this point. I hope he truly is sorry and doesn't get Dominique in any trouble. You've got me on the edge of my seat. Things feel like they're about to get exciting. I love the dialogue and I adore the characters. I've added this to my reading list. Thank you so much for your request!

Author's Response: Hello!

I certainly wasn't expecting anyone to actually read this entire story and review every single chapter! That was super nice of you and I have no words! D':

I had actually planned on showing Lucy in this chapter but it was already a bit too long so I decided to hold off until chapter eight (I already put chapter seven in the queue) so you'll be meeting her soon. She's as fun as that letter hints! Hahaha.

I had originally planned for Dominique to have a different hobby but for some reason, having her being a lover of books just came more natural. She's a bit of an introvert so I think that reading is one of the ways that she expresses herself.

Bill and Fleur are a lot different than they were portrayed in the books and that was done on purpose and also because I had no idea how to write them. This is my first time writing them in any of my stories and because of the family dynamic that I'd manufactured for this story, they had to be as far from canon as possible. I think we'll get a sense of them in later characters but I don't plan on dwelling on them too much.

Its very clear that Dom prefers some of her aunts to her own parents and its also something that's very sad about the entire situation.

Teddy! I think he switched completely in this chapter but I was worried about how that would be perceived. I hadn't planned on showing this side of him so soon so I'm glad that you liked it! I think Teddy is all about how his outward appearance so you can immediately tell his mood when his hair and clothes are different.

Dominique is really overwhelmed by it all but she has much more control over herself than I would in her situation! Hahah. Teddy will talk about what happened with himself and their relatives in chapter eight since I couldn't put it in the next chapter and its not very pleasant.

Stealing from his dead father IS pretty low but as you come to get to know Teddy, you might be able to understand his actions a bit better later on.

I'm really happy that you managed to enjoy this story so much and I hope that you stick around! The next chapter should be up in another day or two but in the meantime, feel free to check out my other stories! I think that you'd like "Abandon" a lot too so it'd be nice to hear from you!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #10, by crestwood Sister

8th August 2014:
I want to see more of the relationship between Louis and Dominique. That seems to be one of her few healthy relationships that we've seen so far. I wonder what made Dominique not tell Victoire about the blackmailing. That might have at least made her feel bad about what she did. I am happy that Dominique got to properly yell at Victoire, she really deserved that in my opinion.

I liked the contrast between Angelina and George's family and Dominique's family. I love the way you write those two, I may have to go read some of your stories centered around them. You're exellent at developing all of your characters throughly. We don't just meet them, we get to understand what makes them happy - what their insecurities are - who they're afraid of; you think of everything. And this is all still just within one day.

Author's Response: HELLO!

Dominique and Louis are pretty much the only two in this story who have a loving relationship in their family. I loved writing that scene too because Louis has never been written before now and I'm glad that you enjoyed their dynamic, its more of a mother/son than a sister/brother relationship.

Dominique was so swamped with emotions that she didn't even think it would matter if she mentioned the blackmail but I feel like she would have if she had been thinking more clearly. The fight between them was one that I'd been waiting to write and I'm glad that you enjoyed that too, there's something so satisfying about writing a scene like that!

The contrast between Angelina and George's family vs. Dominique's was done on purpose just to show how different they were. You should go read the stories with George and Angelina for sure if you want to know more about their relationship! (Memories and This is Angelina are the ones that feature them as the two main characters)

I'm so glad that you're able to really get invested in my characters, you're much too nice to me! D':

Thanks for the review! :D

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #11, by crestwood Transparent

8th August 2014:
I wonder how you've fit all of what has happened within one day. This has just been such an eventful couple of hours for Dominique. She's been manipulated, blackmailed and embarrassed, and that's just Teddy. He continues to be a terrible person all around. Roxanne seemed a lot more mature and reasonable in this chapter. Probably because she wasn't so fuming mad here.

Fred scored more points in this chapter. He's kind, funny and can be emotionally vulnerable. I wonder what causes him to be friends with Teddy, they're practically opposites in a lot of ways. You really have a unique pacing going on here. Things are crawling along, time-wise, but plot-wise, there's a new development every other sentence it feels like. I'm really excited for whatever happens at this dinner they're invited to.

Author's Response: Hello again!

I had no intention of having this all happen in one day to be honest. I have no idea how it happened and its a miracle that I didn't explode from it all. Hahaha. Dominique has certainly been through some tension, hasn't she? Teddy is the sort of person that doesn't get any better the more you read him but there's just something about that bloke that makes him addictive to write. Hahah.

Roxanne is far more mature in this chapter than in the previous and I'm glad that you were able to notice! D':

Fred is Teddy's best friend but they're not really similar when it comes down to how they view the people in their lives. He's nicer and far more generous than Teddy and I'm glad that you liked him! I think Fred admires Teddy and despite how they may seem, they're very loyal to one another, they can trust each other with anything.

I'm sorry that things are going so slow but I'm trying to pick things up! Hahaha.

Thanks for sticking around!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #12, by crestwood Blue-Haired Devil

8th August 2014:
I loved seeing Teddy get berated by George so much. I'd love to see him humbled a bit by the adults in his life. You are very good at writing George, but I assume that's because he's your favorite. (I've done my research) I'm also pretty amazed that you've managed to fit all of your stories into one continuum.

I like Fred a whole lot more than Teddy. He has that bad boy aesthetic without being a completely terrible person. I appreciate the way he speaks to Teddy honestly about himself. Hopefully someday it'll sink in.

Roxanne was a bit dramatic, but at that age, who isn't? Again, the dialogue is nearly perfect in this chapter. Oh and I forgot to say in my last review, Logan Rookwood only showed up for a little bit, but he may be my favorite character and I really hope he's in the story again at some point.

Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back! Hahah, Teddy being told off by George was one of the things that I liked writing the most in this chapter. I think he loves and respects George too much to be completely awful but its nice seeing him getting brought down to earth.

George is my favorite, you are correct in that. I've been writing him for a long time so he's more fleshed out than some of the other characters, especially the adults. Hahah.

Bwhaha, Fred is way easier to like than Teddy. He's much more down to earth and easy going and I don't think he would be nearly as bad if Teddy weren't around. My boy is kind of a follower, I think. Hahah. Fred is actually one of the only people Teddy will listen to when it comes to his behavior so maybe someday that will actually change him.

Roxanne didn't get much of a good intro into this story. I don't think many people liked her that much because of how dramatic she was but that's my own fault. Haha.

Logan Rookwood shows up again at some point so hopefully you can wait a while longer to see him again! :D Even though he doesn't show up after the second chapter, people keep asking about him. Hahaha.

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #13, by crestwood Playmate

8th August 2014:
I don't think I've ever read a story in which Teddy and Victoire not only don't get married, but hate each other. It just seems to be everyone's headcanon that they live happily ever after. I'm happy to see it changed up a bit here. (not to mention his personality)

I can just picture the blue hair and the gold teeth. I have such a love/hate relationship with your version of Teddy. He's terrible, but he's so interesting as well. I'm not exactly sure that I even hate him. He's mischievous, but almost in a playful way. One of the more complex characters I've read on this site. Dominique just becomes a better and better person. She's going through all of this for a sister that she doesn't even particularly like. The pacing of this is really nice, there's no pauses or time skips, just well written, real time interaction. Your dialogue is top notch, especially when it's Teddy speaking. This is just so, so good.

Author's Response: Hello!

I think people have commented on the fact that Teddy and Victoire hate each other quite a bit! I didn't know that it was such an unusual thing! I didn't want either of them to be characters that you had seen so I made them hate one another and although you don't know the reasons yet, you get your answers at some point that might shed some light on their animosity. Or something like that.

Ooh, that blue hair and those gold teeth. I have no idea why I wrote Teddy with the gold tooth but I really can't picture him without it for some reason. I am in a love/hate relationship with Teddy as well but he's such a complex and interesting character to write and I think that's why I love him so much.

Dominique has her flaws but its pretty noble of her to do so much for a sister that she doesn't really like. It says a lot about her character as well.

Thank you so much for the compliments! D': Your reviews have really made my day!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #14, by crestwood The Favor

8th August 2014:
I'm so SO sorry that it's taken me so long to get around to doing this. Real life has been hectic and there's been no shortage of posts in my review thread haha. Still, I apologize because I always try to be much quicker than this. But, on to the review.

First of all, I was so excited to see that this story is set in the same universe as Glass. I wasn't quite sure where I'd read a stuttering Dominique before, but then he mentioned the pig incident and it all came to me. Victoire is terrible for talking down on her sister even while begging for her help. I can't help but wish she'd get in trouble and fall down off of her high horse for once.

I'm slightly upset that Dom allowed Victoire to manipulate her and get her to sneak around and break the law for her, even if I'd probably do the same. The "I have a date" excuse seemed incredibly thin and I just - I have no words to describe how wrong Victoire is for all of this. Also, I really want to know what the 'pig thing' is. Pretty badly. Very badly.

You've written two very, very unlikable characters, (Victoire and Teddy) but it's definitely on purpose. This seems to have a whole lot of action for a first chapter; they generally lag on a bit, introducing characters and such, but this jumps right in. You kind of introduce who your characters are as you go, which I like. We learn the most about them through what they say and do, rather than just being told. It's helpful that you've explained what they're like as well too, if only so we know what Dom thinks of everyone else.

The end set up some kind of favor for Teddy, which nicely bookends the chapter, since it began with a request for a favor by Victoire. I feel bad for Dominique, she always seems to be having a rough time of it. Very good start here, I'm so glad you requested for this.

Author's Response: Hello!

Its perfectly all right that it took you a minute to get to this story, I completely understand! I have a few stories to take care of in my own thread! D':

Most of my stories are kind of centered in the same universe so I'm glad that you were able to follow along pretty well after reading "Glass". I was kind of worried that I hadn't really made it clear that this was during the same time but phew, thank goodness that you were able to follow this without any problems!

Victoire is incredibly selfish and I think that she doesn't really care how she treats other people so long as she gets what she wants at the moment. Its why she always goes running to Dom whenever she's in trouble because Dom is usually the one bailing her out. Its really sad. Oh, things don't go smoothly for Victoire later on in this story but I haven't really had a chance to write that angle just yet. >:)

Dominique, despite not really liking her sister is also the sort of person who wants to have love. They're not very close so she sort of has this thought that she can bridge that gap between them. Victoire is wrong for what she did and trust me, it will all come back to get her.

The pig incident of course is something that I will reveal in chapter eight or nine. I have it all worked out in my mind but I just need to get that scene set up properly.

Oh, I know Victoire and Teddy are horrible. I did that on purpose--its so boring reading about perfect characters and these were two that were always written like a Mary Sue, how dull! Why should they be nice? Why can't they be terrible people? Hahaha. I think that this chapter dragged a bit for me, personally but I'm glad that you were able to enjoy it so much.

Muaua, it was kind of ironic and sad that Dom gets set up for another trap at the end of this chapter but then again, I'm just evil like that. Hahahah.

Thank you for stopping by! There's a fresh chapter up if you want to check it out!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #15, by CassiePotter Liar

12th June 2014:
That was without a doubt my favorite chapter of this story so far. Dom's character is absolutely incredible, and I can't believe how strong she is. She doesn't even realize it, either, but to be able to put up with Teddy, Victoire, and her parents while looking out for her brother is amazing! Which is why it makes me really sad that aside from Louis she doesn't have anyone in her immediate family to turn to, and she really can't talk to her brother about much.
The scene in the kitchen was really intense. You've made Bill and Fleur really different from JKR's versions, and even though they have been physically present in this story much, they have such a strong influence over Dom! The fact that she doesn't feel comfortable around her own parents makes me so, so sad.
It's interesting, but she and Teddy have that in common. They both think of Uncles and Aunts as their "real" families, if that makes sense, and I wonder if they'll ever realize that.
Speaking of Teddy, WOW. You just gave him so much more depth than he's had to date in the course of half a chapter at most? I'm so impressed! Up to this point he's just been really arrogant and cruel, but I loved seeing the new, vulnerable side of him. I really liked that it was reflected in his appearance, too! The subtler hair color and clothes are a big change for him!
I think Dom is getting better at standing up to him. She keeps trying to fight him, and there are still times when she loses the stutter. Hopefully as the story goes she'll gain even more confidence!
The very end of this chapter is what struck me the most. Firstly, I want to know what went down between Teddy and George and Angie. Clearly they said something that got through to him, even if he said some horrible things back to them in the process. Secondly, I can't believe he sold something that was his father's! At least the fact that he's feels really guilty shows that he's human. I hope he and Dom can get it back, but I know that you're going to make it difficult for them. Maybe Logan Rookwood will make another appearance when they're trying to get the pocket watch? I'll just have to wait and see!
This chapter was phenomenal, and I can't wait for the next one! Fabulous writing, as always! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Its good to see you again, Cassie! I'm sorry that it took a minute for me to get to this review but here I am!

I think this was my favorite chapter so far too. I had some trouble with it but it went beyond my expectations, I wasn't sure what I was going to do but it turned out a bit better than I'd thought! Thank God. Hahaha.

Dom has more power and strength than most people would give her credit for, I think she might not realize it because its always been what she's had to do. In order to take care of Louis, she's willing to put up with Teddy, her parents and Victoire while sacrificing what might make HER happy. Aside from her brother, she doesn't have any friends and that was really sad for me to write and if Lucy weren't around, she wouldn't have anyone she could talk to. :(

Bill and Fleur are a lot different from JK's versions. I'd never written them before but in my universe, things have shifted quite a bit in the Weasley family, I'd already hinted that Bill and Percy don't like one another and that Bill and Fleur are rather snobbish. Haha. They have a lot of influence over Dom, she wants to please them but always winds up being pushed aside. Its really depressing.

Teddy and Dom do have that in common. They view others as their family rather than the ones they have and I'll go into that later on too. Dom likes spending time with Lucy's family while Teddy is pretty much George and Angie's other son, instead of him being closer to Harry and Ginny like you'd think.

They'll realize that connection eventually. Haha.

Oh, Teddy. I was going to hold off on revealing this side of him but I somehow couldn't avoid it and before I knew it, vulnerable Teddy had arrived and he was a lot more difficult than I'd imagined. The hair and the clothes, even the way he speaks shows that something is really wrong with him and I liked that you caught on!

Dom is getting better at standing up to him, I think but she's not willing to fight him completely. He scares her. Hahha.

You'll find out what happened with George and Angie with Teddy in the next chapter. Oh, Teddy's feelings towards his father will become clear as well. If you read the one-shot "Glass" you'll understand that it isn't what you might think.

Teddy feels guilty but it may not last. Dom will help him but whether or not we see Logan again will remain a mystery. Hehehhehe.

Thanks for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #16, by TidalDragon Sister

30th March 2014:
Hello again!

So I feel like with the end of this chapter in particular we really got back to the meat of the story. The scenes between Dominique and Louis and Dominique and Victoire were meaningful and well-done. It would be interesting to see how those relationships play out, especially Dominique and Victoire's. Will Dominique ever share the blackmail burden for example? What would happen if she does?

The first part of the chapter however, I again did not find terribly substantive. It showed more family dynamics, but aside from the banter between Angelina and George, the content largely rehashed some things that we had already learned. I also thought the amount of innuendo that Angelina and George used was over the top for any parents to use in front of their children (even to embarrass and no matter how big of jokesters either is). But that's just a personal take.

As far as the plot and writing overall, the exploration of the Next Gen family dynamics is intriguing, especially with an atypical spin on some of the characters. As far as the teenage pregnancy element, that's honestly just not my cup of tea. As I have mentioned in the chapter-by-chapter reviews, I think you do an impeccable job of character development and an equally excellent job of getting us inside the mind and emotions of Dominique as the MC. For me though the lengths you go to to achieve that and the family dynamic element make the story a bit ponderous in terms of pace. You seem like you have all the elements and writing ability for an exceptional story though and perhaps with a few content tweaks and an emphasis on being a touch more concise, you'll hit that mark as the story goes on.

Hope my reviews helped! Feel free to PM if you have any additional questions!

Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back and thanks in advance for all the reviews. They've really helped with what I wanted to do with the story after this! I actually like the first half of this chapter the most, it showed a lot family dynamic, true, but the contrast from how different Dom's household is to her cousins was the main facto here. Its hinting at things to come, I think and honestly, I love George and Angelina so I probably allowed this to drag on for far too long. Hahahah.
If you ever read any of my other stories with George and Angelina, what they have said here is nothing. Most of what they say is pretty inappropriate but I haven't even begun to write Audrey and Percy yet. You have been warned.

Oh, I LOVE taking a different spin with Next Gen characters. I tried to make them all as different as possible and I was glad that so many people were able to enjoy it. Ah, the pregnancy thing hasn't fully finished so I'm not going to say if it is or isn't true, you'd just have to keep on reading. Haaha.

Character development and pace are two things that I need to balance out more. They're both important but I don't want the story to feel swamped underneath it all so thanks for pointing it out to me. :D

Your reviews were very lovely and I hope that I see you again at some point. I'll re-request again whenever I'm free so look forward to that!

Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #17, by TidalDragon Transparent

30th March 2014:
Hello again!

For me, to a degree it feels like we've stagnated a little bit. I'm not big on worrying about word counts at all, but I think we're over 20,000 so far and we have not yet covered (aside from reflections on past events/relationships) an entire day. I think you are very effective at crafting characters that are differentiated, well-described, and solidly-developed, but I think the heavy emphasis on making sure that happens is taking a toll on the pace.

Based off the ending to this one, it seems like we're going to go deeper into Teddy's scheme next chapter though so hopefully that will serve as a point where you feel like you can kick on a bit.

Author's Response: Hello!

This chapter went a little out of bounds for me while I was typing it out. I wasn't really sure where I was going with this story by this point and it took a lot of revising and crying to get this done. There wasn't much in plot for this but it does play around with family dynamics once again and also, the conversation that Dom has with Roxanne actually plays a big part later.

"He really sees me." That line will become something Dom will not forget and plays a part in her growth as a character. She's so guarded and bitter that actually having someone fall in love with her and KNOW her is an alluring idea. People are always telling me that it takes too long to get to the point in my stories and its my own fault. I don't like rushing my stories and my pacing sometimes suffers for it but I know what I'm trying to get to in the end and it mostly shapes up all right.

This ending didn't go well at all. I hated it when I first finished it but it never turned out how I wanted it to be and Teddy's beating around the bush is getting annoying by this point. Hahahah.

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #18, by TidalDragon Blue-Haired Devil

30th March 2014:
Alrighty!

So for me, I did not get a whole lot out of this chapter substantively. It was an enjoyable read, seeing the new characters and how they interact with others like Dominique and Teddy, but it just didn't feel like it advanced things meaningfully.

I did like the characterizations of George and Fred (II), though despite her minimal appearance, not so much Roxanne. She seemed a bit over-dramatic at the end.

See you in the next chapter.

Author's Response: Hello!

Its good that I've got the time to actually leave a few responses today. I suffer from a really bad internet connection at the moment so I'm sorry if its going to take a while for me to reply back! D':

This chapter is mainly just an introduction into new characters and faces. I wanted to show a bit more of Teddy's character as well ad how irresponsible he can be, I also loved writing him with Freddie. There's a lot of differences between them that was fun to get down finally and the contrast was something that I wanted Dom to see for herself, she had already made up her mind about Teddy by this point. (Not that there's much going for him, mind you)

George is my bias and I've written him so much in the past that he's very easy to get down now. I had a bit of trouble with Fred but he turned out better than I thought he would and as for Roxanne, she's written as a bit more dramatic and childish for a reason.
At thirteen, there was a lot going on with her and her anger with the boys over her friend, Benjamin Malfoy comes into play much later in this story.
You'd probably have to check out her story, "Abandon" to really get a feel for her if you were interested.

Anyway, on to the next review!

Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #19, by TidalDragon Playmate

30th March 2014:
Hello again!

Well, Teddy seems like a real piece of work. I think you do a very good job writing his dialogue and the way you've complemented it with his preferred appearance is a nice touch too.

I'm glad that you've made it so Dominique doesn't stutter all the time, as I thought it a touch excessive in the first chapter. I hope we'll see more instances in which she can overcome it and perhaps learn what exactly happened that so traumatized her.

In terms of pace, this chapter didn't feel as sluggish to me, and even though you covered some ground that did not seem strictly necessary, I thought you did it in a way that allowed us to learn more details about Teddy and Dominique, so it proved to be useful to an extent, rather than coming off as filler.

The ending was a plus for me as well. As a reader I'm definitely left intrigued by just what Teddy has in mind at this point.

Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back. Teddy is a real interesting piece of awful, isn't he? I wanted to do something completely different with him from what I've seen in other fanfics and I'm glad that it went over well. For some reason, he always was a punk rocker type of kid and his blue hair and gold tooth are just elements that work into that whole image. He's all about image. Hahaha.

I had gotten so much critique in the first chapter about Dom's stutter that I made sure to lighten up on it. Im still learning about what I want from her as a character, she's completely different from my other girls that I have to really think about where to go with her.
Oh, the pigs...we'll find out what happened but it won't be for a while. I'll make sure to dedicate it to you and a few others who have asked about it. Hahah. I'm terrible, so don't be shocked by that chapter whenever I get it up there.

I hadn't established much about Teddy previously and this chapter is just an insight into his character and an introduction to others who will appear later. You should have been paying more attention to Logan Rookwood, girlie! Hahaha.

Teddy's mind is a nasty place, he hasn't even begun to really bother Dom. I like my men angsty and awful, apparently...what does this say about me? Hahaha.

Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #20, by TidalDragon The Favor

30th March 2014:
Howdy! Dropping by in response to your review request.

So to jump right in, you spent an immense amount of time developing the relationship between Victoire and Dominique as part of the favor request. I definitely appreciated that, and the insight we got into Dominique's thoughts and the reasons behind her dialogue. At the same time, I thought the spat that preceded the favor request went on a bit long for me. By the time it finally came, you had already firmly established a negative sibling relationship as well as what seem to be the core tenets of Victoire's personality and self-absorption. Carrying it on as long as it did also undermined the credibility of Dominique's ultimate acceptance of the request because it seemed like she rolled over very suddenly.

I liked the time you took with the Polyjuice scene and the care you took to even describe the details of the apothecary shop and most notably, the pregnancy potion kit. The instructions were a nice touch.

As far as characterizations go, I think you're taking a bold path with both Victoire and Teddy making them not very likable, but it's a change of pace from the standard and I'm interested to see how it develops.

I don't want to comment on the plot yet as I don't think I really have enough information to speak intelligently about it, but we will get to that later.

See you next chapter!

Author's Response: Hello!

Its great to see you reading this story and a pleasure to meet you. My name's Gabbie or Queen of the Underworld, I hope to see you on the forums and all that junk.

On to this! I wrote this entire chapter on a whim and I've gone back and edited this a lot since then so all my mistakes are highly evident. Hahaha. With Dom, she's such a different sort of girl from the others that I'm currently writing and I was really trying my best to get her to seem relatable and fully fleshed out. It was difficult but Victoire really helped fuel what could have been a flat character, I'm not really satisfied with her in this first chapter though. Their spat did go on for a bit too long but by this point I was just trying to get as much of Victoire in this chapter as I could, I knew that we wouldn't be seeing her for a while after this.
This also showed a bit more about what their relationship was like. Dom might not like her sister but there's this small part of her that wants her acceptance, which is why she eventually bowled over, once again to do her bidding. It might not have come off as well as I'd hoped however so I might go back and try to clean it up a bit.
I had always wanted to write a Polyjuice scene and I'm glad that you liked it! It was really fun. I'm a sucker for detail and an apothecary has so many interesting things in it that I couldn't resist! Bwhaha, the instructions on that potion kit were kind of terrible but were hilarious to write.

Its obvious that the person who created it has a very low opinion of children. Hahahaha.

Anyhoo, my Teddy and Victoire will never get to the point of being truly likeable. What's the fun in writing a character that doesn't have any flaws? They only get worse.

Thanks for stopping by, I'll try to get to all of your reviews today!

Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #21, by CassiePotter Sister

15th March 2014:
Hi Gabbie!
Wow this chapter was long! I'm actually kind of tired after reading all the emotions you packed into this chapter! Although, I expect Dom feels a lot worse than I do! I loved how she got to spend some time with her cousins and aunt and uncle at the beginning of this chapter. Life with George and Angie seems like it's the polar opposit of life with Bill and Fleur. I hope we get to meet them soon, because I'm really interested in seeing how you would write them! I love that Teddy got in trouble with George and Angie and that they wrote to Harry and Ginny, too. He deserves it after everything he's done to poor Dom, and they don't even know about that! I wish Molly knew so she could smack him again! He's just so awful, I don't know how he lives with it! I'm also really scared for what he'll do next, because he definitely doesn't understand that there are line she shouldn't cross! Hopefully someone will be able to help Dom! Oh, maybe Logan Rookwood can?
And the after Dom got home I loved how she and Louis were together! The way you write him is so different from how I do, and it's really interesting to read! Your Louis seems really sweet and I really like him already! And then there's Victoire... That argument between Dom and Toire was crazy! I felt so bad for Dom when she found of that Victoire had just gone to a party, and that she's being blackmailed because of what her sister made her do. I really hope Victoire stops being so mean and can realize how lucky she is to have Dominique as a sister! I did feel bad for her during that little moment when she was talking about how much pressure people put on her, but I think she's handled it in the worst way possible, and could really get hurt because of it! But I think she's too mean toDom for me to really pity her... I guess we'll see how she continues to act in future chapters!
This chapter was an amazing, emotional roller-coaster, and I loved it! I'll let you know when I update something, and I'll keep checking back for updates from you! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Cassie, its always a pleasure seeing you back after so long. I'm sorry that its taken me so long to actually update this story, first of all but that doesn't mean I've forgotten about you! Hahaha.
Anyway, I have NO idea why this chapter was so long. It wasn't meant to be but I'll make sure to hold back on the content next time so I don't kill you all with the feels. Hahaha.
Anyhoo, I like writing about the contrasts Dom faces with her parents and her cousins. It puts her life into an interesting perspective and you know how I love writing about George and Angie. They're my bias you know. Hahaha.
I will be writing about Bill and Fleur in the next chapter, hopefully. I've never written them before but I hope it turns out all right. Oh, Teddy is about to get the beat down, especially once his Gran, Harry and Ginny get on his butt. It won't be pretty.
And isn't he just awful? I adore it. Hahaha. I think he's going to realize that Dom can't be so easily bent into what he wants pretty soon. ;)
Teddy won't stoop to Draco creepiness or evil but...he'll be bad. Really, really bad. :3
Louis was a good character to write for this time around. I'd written him before but I scrapped the idea and settled on this instead, he's such a sweetheart.
Victoire, oh, Victoire. She's terrible and I think it showed in this chapter. You can't feel much empathy for her after what she's done but at the same time, it opens up a good dynamic between her and Dom later on.
Victoire is mean to Dom because she's secretly holding back on other, nastier emotions. I'll get to that soon too!
Thanks for this review! T-T
I miss your work! I hope I'll be able to catch up soon!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #22, by Courtney Dark The Favor

27th December 2013:
Hey there! I am so sorry it took me such a long time to get to this - real life, has, once again been completely overwhelming!

So: I really enjoyed your fresh take on the next-generation characters that we've seen so far. I've never seen them portrayed like this before, and it made for an exciting and unexpected read.

I love that you have characterized Dom so differently to how she usually is. I enjoyed reading the relationship between her and her sister - it felt like a very believable, realistic family relationship, and not too lovey-dovey, which is always nice! Just a bit of constructive criticism, though, I found that Dom's stutter, while an interesting character trait (I want to know more about this pigs incident) slightly...annoying. It was a little overwhelming, with her stuttering every single word, and made her dialogue quite hard to read and I often found myself skipping over her speech. I love the fact that she stutters, but maybe have her only stutter a couple of words in a sentence, maybe more if she's angry or frustrated. That's just a suggestion, though - you certainly don't have to take me up on it/

Oh my god, I love how completely different you have made Teddy! I love him but I really dislike him at the same time! I'm looking forward to seeing how he comes into the story - in a relationship with Victoire? Or Dom? Or a different way entirely?

This was an enjoyable first chapter!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hello!

I am SO sorry that its taken me so long to get back to you but things have been kind of crazy lately. So, here we are!

I thought that you might like this! I've done something kind of different for this Next Gen and I'll try to send you more requests in the future to see how you like them later on. :D

I haven't read many stories featuring Dom as other than a miniature of Fleur or being a social butterfly and I wanted to make her very unique. I had hinted at how her family life was in other stories but had never written them so I'm glad that you liked it. This is the first story that I've written where the family members aren't very close so I'm hoping that it might go over well later.

Her stutter has always been very tricky for me to get down. I've edited this chapter but haven't put the newer one up on the site yet so its been changed and I've toned it down somewhat. You do find out about the pig incident at some point and trust me, you will not like Teddy at all by the end of it.

Bwhahahah, Teddy is terrible but that's what makes him so much fun to write! I like making unlikeable characters like him, they're always so much fun! Oh, you may be in for a surprise with who he winds up with but I won't spoil it for you!

Thanks for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #23, by CassiePotter Transparent

29th November 2013:
Gabbie this chapter was AMAZING!
Teddy Lupin just makes me cringe! He's so awful, but I also really love reading his character at the same time! Haha. I would hate to be in poor Dom's position! I think she's holding up really well, considering! I would probably slap him and then run off crying or something equally as dramatic, so she definitely has guts if she can stay there with him to protect her sister! I wonder if Victoire will ever find out what Dom is willing to do for her? If she did, hopefully that would make her be a little nicer! I know she and Teddy hate each other, but they really would be quite the pair!
I absolutely adored the scene between Dom and Freddie! He seems like he would be a great cousin, and even though he's Teddy's best friend, he definitely knows when not to cross the line, and you can tell that he loves his family and wants to take care of them. He was so sweet to Dom, and I hope that means she'll have someone to check that she's ok in the future! I can tell that things will Teddy are only going to get worse for the poor girl!
And then there's Roxie. She and Dom are so different, it was really entertaining to see them together! They were actually having a nice moment when Teddy butted in! He has to stick his nose in everything, huh?
I can't wait for more of this story! Hopefully Dom will stand up to Teddy! And I want to know where her stutter comes from and if she and Logan will ever get together! (I hope so :D)
Ill let you know when I have something new in the queue! I can't wait to catch up on your lovely work! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: HellO!

Hey there, Cassie. Its always great to see you coming back to my stories, it makes me feel all fuzzy and junk! :D
Teddy Lupin is just plain awful, isn't he? But he's really fun to write for and I think that its a good challenge from some of the other things I've written. I mean, Ben is one thing but Teddy is a whole other monster and that's always great!
I think Dom wanted to slap Teddy in the face but I don't think that she would get very far because he's mean. :D
I think Dom is a braver girl than people give her credit for, I mean, I would have burst into tears as well after what Teddy did to her! Anyhoo, Victoire will find out what Dom did for her but I haven't written it yet and its not going to be pretty. I promise! HAHAHA.
I'm not sure if anything could make Victoire nicer...
Freddie is a great cousin and I think that he knows the balance between being a friend and a cousin. He's a good boy! But he can also be a bit too nice when it comes to Teddy, he loves him a lot but it sort of blinds him.
Oh, she'll have Freddie and Roxanne to check up on her. :D
I loved writing Roxie and Dom together because they are very different from one another. The contrast was interesting to write and I'm glad that you enjoyed it! Teddy was probably listening in outside the door, knowing him. He's such a prat. :D
Hopefully, I'll have more of this story up in a few weeks or so but on the bright side, Blastoria is up and there's plenty of other stuff to read. Expect Abandon in a few days too!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #24, by CassiePotter Blue-Haired Devil

14th September 2013:
Hi Gabbie!
I loved this chapter! Although, Teddy still infuriates me! Why does he have to be so mean? Poor Dom!
But I'm happy that Fred got in a few comments here and there to knock Teddy down a couple of pegs. At least for a few minutes, anyway!
I really loved getting to see George at the beginning of this chapter! It was good to see Teddy getting disciplined a little bit, and also that George cares about Dom being happy. She needs someone to look out for her since her cousins can get so mean!
I liked reading Fred and Teddy's conversation, too. Especially because Fred knows when he's crossing a line and should step in to defend Dom or tell Teddy to actually be serious about something. I think he's as much of a voice of reason as there can be between the two of them!
And Roxie was perfect at the end! She definitely has a temper, especially when it comes to Ben, and I hope she at least forgives Dom! And of course the very end with Teddy makes me really nervous... Who knows what he's planning?
I'll let you know when I have something new up to read. Holding On is next, but I haven't had any time to really work on the next chapter. Hopefully I get some time and inspiration soon! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm Really sorry that its taken me so long to get back to you on this, I'm not ignoring you, I promise!!!
I think there's a lot about Teddy that would make anyone mad so I can't blame you at all for that, his character is really irritating. I think Fred is pretty much the only thing that stops Teddy from doing really stupid things that could get him into serious trouble. He's like the thought that holds him back sometimes and you have to think about the fact that they do love each other like brothers.
I'll write any excuse to see George, I tell you! He's so much fun to write for and yes, Teddy had to be given a warning on his attitude because otherwise, he might not have from Harry or Ginny. George cares about all of his nieces and nephews but he might mention something about why he's worried about Dom later though.
Fred will defend his relatives faster than he will anything and he knows Teddy so well that it doesn't really matter that they're so close. If he has to teach him a lesson, he will and he'll be a real jerk about it if its the only way Teddy will listen.
Oh, you know how Roxie can get with Ben but she'll forgive Dom! I promise! Teddy has some nasty little plans for Dom but I haven't really worked it out yet, I'm trying to come up with something that will work. :D
Mwhahhahahaha.
I can't wait to get a chance to catch up on your work, darling!
On my end, A Force of Wills is back up so you can go and check that out anytime!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #25, by kitty Blue-Haired Devil

31st August 2013:
Great chapter, Teddy and Freddie's conversation provided a lot of interesting information...I can't wait to see how Dom reacts to Teddy's insults and to this 'test.'
On another note...I feel sorry for Benjamin Malfoy. He sounds cool and I hope there's more to his character and we see him again! As well as Logan Rookwood of course, just to see how Teddy reacts ;)

Author's Response: Hello!

Its great to see you again on here reading this story, it makes me feel really nice that you've come back to it. Teddy and Freddie are best friends so you're bound to get alot of information that might help you understadn him better, they're not the sort that keep secrets from one another. Well, not really anyway. Hahahahaha.
Dom will react the same way to Teddy's test as she would eating vomit. It won't be pleasant for her! Hahahahaha. I'm so evil.
Oh, Benjamin Malfoy...perhaps you shouldn't be feeling so sorry for him just yet. He actually shows up in my other story, "Abandon" and if you want to read up more about him, please do! You may or may not like him much though, as a warning. Hahahhha.
He might make an appearance! And as for Logan Rookwood? He'll be around!
I'm so sorry that its taken me forever to answer your lovely review! Forgive me!
Much love,
Gabbie


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