Reading Reviews for Transparent
  
64 Reviews Found

Review #1, by CassiePotter The Green Dragon

22nd November 2015:
Gabbie, I need more of this! You picked the most interesting spot to end this chapter! It's the perfect cliffhanger, because I have to know what's going to happen next!
I could totally picture everything inside the Green Dragon. I can't blame Dom for wanting to look around and stare at everything in a place like that, where everything is so luxurious and grand! Hopefully she didn't look to naive or out of place, though. She has to make people believe she wants to be there.
She hasn't had to be too lovey with Teddy yet, even though he did sneak a few kisses, but I have a feeling that she's going to have to really work to make people believe that she's his fiancee and wants to be with him.
I think Teddy seemed very protective of her, and it was almost sweet to see the way he was looking out for her. He knows that she's nervous and is trying to make things as easy for her as possible.
OH MY GOSH TIBERIUS. I have to know, does this take place before or after the events of Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince? And he's the one with the pocket watch! I'm so intrigued! I just need more to read!
I hope you update this story soon! I absolutely love it! I think that aside from A Force of Wills, this one is my favorite. I just love Dom, and think the way she and Teddy's relationship has developed is fascinating.
This was an amazing chapter and I can't wait for more!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for attacking this chapter right away! That makes me so happy because I wrote this all at around five in the morning so there were a few things that I wasn't sure about. :D

I had a lot of trouble picturing the Green Dragon, I couldn't quite get the image that I wanted for some reason. I looked at a lot of pictures of gentleman's clubs (not strip clubs, mind you), mansions, dance clubs and even mansions to get the feel of this place just right. There are still a ton of details about it that I didn't write but I think I will in the next chapter.

I think the appeal of the Dragon is that everything is so shiny and new, it's impossible to NOT be distracted. I don't think Dom was prepared for that but whether or not she fits in will be something that I play around with in the next chapter. I wanted this one to be longer but because I was so sleepy, I decided to cut it short. On the plus side, I get to do more in chapter thirteen!

I didn't get a chance to have Dom being very lovey dovey with Teddy yet but that will come into play soon too. He snuck in a few kisses but they'll really need to be more convincing if they want people to believe that they belong there.

Teddy is doing the best that he can at the moment, he's trying to protect Dom but at the same time he has to put on an act too. I honestly think that he cares about her more than he's willing to say, they had quite a few little moments in this chapter that hinted at how he might feel.

TIBERIUS! A lot of people haven't been reading Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince so seeing him again won't come as a surprise. This story takes place a year before Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince. I may be wrong but it might actually be two, since Abandon takes place a year before it as well. Hm.

Anyway, Tiberius is the one who has the pocket watch! The details as to why and how are things that I'll include in the next chapter but I plan on updating soon! I hope you like the next chapter too, it's going to be pretty intense!

A Force of Wills is next!

Thanks so much!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #2, by ScorpiusRose17 Blue-Haired Devil

26th October 2015:
Gabbie This is sooo awesome!!!

I just love this!!!

I laughed at George. I just love how he tugs on Teddy's ear and makes him spill the beans so to speak. Kind of funny coming from the guy who only has one ear! Then when he said that he would spank Teddy... wow! I just laughed. There wasn't anything else I could do. George is just one of those old school guys who is seriously serious and seriously funny. You did an amazing job capturing him!

Teddy really irks me. He is so... rude and yet at the same time he is relatable. I think that everyone can relate to that one person they know that acted the way that Teddy does. Maybe not to the same extreme extent here with the firing from his job for a very serious reason, but you know a guy that is like that.

Fred was great also. I like that he wasn't impressed with Teddy's antics. I think that he is a good solid character with a moral compass or so I like to think he is. Sure he doesn't like Malfoy, but then again he is a Weasley so I am not at all surprised. I love seeing the differences between him and his dad in terms of personality. George is more mellow, while Fred has that side to him, but he is or seems a bit more intense.

I felt awful for Dominique again. Here she is snooping and Roxanne scares the living daylights out of her and what happens next... Teddy. What a scoundrel he is!

And another cliff hanger!!!

You are just doing such an awesome job with this. My only CC for this would be the spacing! Other then that superb!! :)

-Jenn

Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back! I really, really love writing George and having him being the one to punish Teddy was just so much fun. The thing about him tugging on his ear didn't make much sense to me until I read your review. The contrast is great, you're so smart! Hahahah. George doesn't spank his own children much but he does have his moments when he's very stern with them.

Teddy is no different.

I think everyone knows someone like Teddy or have felt like him at least once. He's a very complicated person and yet, I really love writing him.

I feel like Fred is just used to Teddy getting into trouble, he isn't proud of him but he knows how to handle him better than most people. Fred doesn't like Benjamin Malfoy mainly for the fact that Roxanne spends a lot of time with him. He's very overprotective. I think that he is a lot like their dad though, he's very mellow like George but he's pretty rational too like Angelina. ;)

Another cliffhanger! I'm sorry!

I hope we swap again this weekend!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #3, by ScorpiusRose17 Playmate

25th October 2015:
Hi Gabbie!!

I am here with another review for you!! Sorry it takes me so long to read!!

I really enjoyed this chapter. I am mad at both Teddy and Victoire at this point because Teddy is purely evil and I hope Victoire can see the value of her sister as this continues. Poor Dominique. I just want her to throw that hot liquid in his face because he seriously deserves it!!

Hmmm... Logan seems interesting. I wonder if he'll play a role later on.

I didn't see anything that stood out to my typo, spelling, grammar wise. I liked the spacing here better then I did in the first chapter. It was easier on the eyes or maybe I am just getting old? ;)

I am nervous about what Teddy is going to do with Dominique. I don't trust him and so far I just don't like him at all. I have never not liked Teddy Lupin before so this is sort of awesome to see him as a bad guy. How he ended up in Gryffindor is a mystery to me. Also, I am really thinking that there is more to what happened between Victoire and Teddy that meets the eye. There is a lot of hostility there.

Keep up the awesome work!! I look forward to reading on! :)

-Jenn

Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back! I'm glad that you enjoyed this chapter and being angry at Teddy and Victoire is totally fine. Hahaha. I wouldn't say that Teddy is pure evil but he is really awful. Hahaha. I think he's just really cynical.

You know, Victoire doesn't think of Dominique's feelings at all during the first five chapters of this story. I think that she'll regret it later. Dominique would have punched Teddy if she had been able to.

Logan DOES show up again but he hasn't made an appearance just yet. I'm working on it!

There are a lot of people who comment on the fact that Teddy is so different from what they're used to. That makes me so happy because I never want you guys to find too many similarities between my version and everyone else's. I never saw him as a good guy though for some reason and the fact that he's in Gryffindor has more to do with what he thought everyone else wanted than what he really wanted to be. It's kind of sad.

Oh, there's way more that happened between Teddy and Victoire. I just haven't truly revealed it yet. ;)

Thanks again!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #4, by ScorpiusRose17 The Favor

25th October 2015:
Hi Gabbie!!

So here I am with chapter 1. I am sorry that it took me longer than intended to get to.

I really liked this! I don't normally read a lot of stories about Victoire, Dominique and their family. They are usually just sprinkled in throughout the Next Gen stories I come across so this was truly a nice change of pace.

I feel so awful for Dominique. She stutters, she's over shadowed by her sister and something happened to her that involved pigs and Teddy Lupin. I am super curious to find out what happened. It sort of reminds me of the Kings Speech where he is picked on relentlessly by his older brother and it causes a stutter... so to find out what happened will really be a profound point for her.

I love the details you give about the surrounding areas and even to the characters themselves. I am easily able to picture everything and I love that this chapter opens up the entire story and ends with a cliff hanger to compete with all other cliff hangers.

A couple of things that I would say about this chapter is the spacing is a bit off and sort of feels like work going from one paragraph to the next. It isn't a huge deal, but I felt that it possibly slowed my reading time down a bit. Something to consider I suppose.

The other thing that I found was minor and I assume that when you read through and edited it was just a small over sight was this...

" Teddy Lupin was nothing but a stupid a bully and Dominique had never been able to stand him, finding that his presence usually brought on"

a stupid a bully -is the part I am pointing out. Just one to many a's.

I look forward to reading the next chapter and seeing where this is going to go. I am nervous for Dominique because of Teddy and Victoire, but at the same time I am completely intrigued!

Keep up the awesome work!

-Jenn

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by with these great reviews and I'm sorry that I'm just not replying to them all. Real life has been a pain. Hahaha.

I don't read too many stories with Dominique and her family either. I don't know why but I just never stumble upon them much but I got the idea for this randomly one day and just had to write it down. The image of her just sitting alone at Dobby's grave was enough to get me writing and then there was that thing with the pigs that just never left either. Not sure what bacon has to do with anything but there you go!

Dominique's low confidence comes from a lot of things but I think it stems mostly from how she's so overshadowed by her sister. Their parents aren't very affectionate with her either so that plays a crucial role in how she views the world. Plus, her stutter makes it hard too but I haven't really revealed why she has it just yet. I'm getting there though.

I really, really LOVE detail. I go overboard with it a lot but I think it helps to keep you guys grounded in my stories. I'm learning not to do it so often though but I like that you loved the cliffhanger of this!

I used the simple editor when this was posted originally and the spacing things and paragraphs are my fault. I'll clean that up eventually, along with those CC's everyone mentions. Hahaha.

Thanks for this!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #5, by carry on with your knitting The Favor

6th September 2015:
Hey Gabbie!

I'm here for the review swap! :) this one caught my eye so I just had to give it a read!

I love the way that you wrote Dom, she is the total opposite to her sister and has elements to her that I think a lot of people will relate to. For me she came across as quite awkward and the type of person whom embarrassing things always happen to, which is deffinitely something that happens to me a lot :') I also loved that where her sister is so selfish, she it totally selfless; she thinks about the effect her sisters action will have on her younger brother, but also her her parents, who she admittedly isn't that close to and I think that a really nice characters trait!

I really dislike victorie! Omg what a bitch! (Not that you've written her badly, she's just so horrible) you describe her as totally vain and self centred throughout and completely manipulative, she's just the kind of character I love to hate! I also really like that you made her ginger! A lot of people write her as blonde, but the Wesley ginger gene is obviously quite strong, so Bill has to have at least one ginger child! :)

Now on to Teddy, you have a real knack for writing complex male characters! And for some reason I just can't help but feel a little attracted to them... It's probably teddy's arrogance it I just love him :') he's a totally bastard but I really see the potential for him to change I to a good person:)

I feel so bad for Dom, she is literally stuck in the middle of to evil people who are basically the opposite gender versions of each other! And the poor girl getting caught!

You have me hooked already and I've actually already read ahead a little! I can't wait to read more, another brilliant story! :)

Katie :)

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thanks a bunch for all of the reviews that you've left for my stories. They've been great and so inspiring!

I've said this before but I don't really read many stories about Dom. I can't quite think of her as not a little introverted for some reason. I'm glad that you were able to connect with her though, I sometimes worry that no one would be able to understand what she's going through. I think that she is more responsible than her older sister and a bit more compassionate because of the way she's been left alone for most of her life. She worries about the state of the family way more than Victoire would.

You're supposed to dislike Victoire. Haha. I wrote her as the most unlikeable person that I could for a reason but I can't give it away just yet. I also never pictured her as a blonde for some reason and prefer her being a redhead. Hahahah. She has no soul!

I love complex male characters and Teddy is the ultimate nightmare. Haha. I do love writing him but he's a horrible, horrible person and there's no getting around that. I think that you'll love him once you keep reading though.

Hahaha.

Thanks again!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #6, by Gossip Girl Playmate

1st September 2015:
Hey, HPFFers. Gossip Girl here with yet another scoop on the Wizarding World's favorite famous family.

While it's not uncommon to catch self-proclaimed bad boy Teddy Lupin shacked up in a cafe with a gorgeous blonde, it is a shock to this writer that he would choose the sister of his arch nemesis. For those readers who are completely oblivious to the local gossip chain, T and Vic have had a fued stretching back to their days in diapers, a welcome change from the usual love story expected out of the two of them. Which begs the question, why is he suddenly interested in the Invisible Weasley?

A source close to me that shall remain nameless has gotten wind that a certain blonde was spotted carrying what seemed to be a pregnancy potion when confronted by her blue haired assailant, yet no one can remember seeing anyone who fits her description purchasing one. A mystery that makes this reader want to know more. My source has done a superb job dropping in hints and facts that answer enough questions to keep the reader satisfied, but creates enough to make keep them coming back for more. Coupled with some amazing and interesting characters, I give this source two thumbs way up.

We're going to have to keep an eye on that waiter, he seems like he could be a new contender for the title of lonely boy.

What do you think, dear readers? Could it be that the Invisible Weasley is finally making a move outside of her sister's shadow? Or does T have another idea? One thing's for sure, this is just the beginning.

You know you love me,

XOXO Gossip Girl

Author's Response: Hello!

What an honor to be given a review from the one and only Gossip Girl! I don't know how to respond! Hahaha.

I think the fact that Teddy is interested in the Invisible Weasley would require you to ask the man himself. His relationship with Victoire, or lack thereof is up for debate but for now, we can only assume that he has a need for Dominique that isn't entirely noble. I saw them together myself not too long ago and I have to say, blonde and blue go well together.

It would help if the Invisible Girl looked happy about it...

Your source sounds like quite the find and I applaud them for requesting this story to you. We will have to keep one another updated as more mysteries unfold, though I worry that Dominique will not move far from her sister's shadow. After all, it was her fault that she was trapped into this situation but I digress. :D

Thanks for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #7, by EnigmaticEyes16 The Favor

30th August 2015:
Hi! I'm finally here for our swap! Sorry it took so long. And so sorry about your job, I do hope you find another one soon!

On to the review, I've never read a Dominique with a stutter and so the fact that your Dom has one is very interesting. And I'm very curious as to just what and who caused it since it's clearly not something she started out with, and what does it have to do with pigs?

Victoire seems like a very annoying person to be related to. Dom is clearly spiteful and envious towards Victoire since she thinks she's so perfect and because she keeps their parents from noticing Dom and Louis basically, as long as they have Victoire the others are very much invisible to them. I can't believe she's pregnant though! And expects Dom to get her the test for her? I wonder what their parents would do if they found out? Although I think Victoire's use of Dom's insecurities against her to get what she wants is very rude. You can tell Victoire is used to getting her way and doesn't like it when people say no to her.

I'm not completely surprised Dom agreed to buy Victoire's pregnancy test kit though. Even though she's not fond of her sister she still clearly longs for her love and affection. I wonder though exactly what she will ask for in return, and if this really is the last favor she'll do.

I feel sorry for Dom that her sister takes all the glory from both their parents and the kids at Hogwarts. I have to imagine it must be strange to be used to being ignored and made fun of, and then all of a sudden even boys are noticing her and smiling at her, but then she has to remind herself that it's not her they are seeing because of the polyjuice potion. I wonder who the girl is though that she's become and if anyone will recognize her.

Teddy sounds like an interesting character. I wonder why he likes to make fun of her stutter, that seems mean. And I'm still very curious as to what happened with the pigs. I wonder if he's the reason she has the stutter and that's why she hates him? Although if seeing him causes butterflies in her stomach, I have to wonder if she feels more than just hate for the boy. I think it's interesting though that he's not so close with most of her family and seems to hold a bit of a grudge against them for having parents when he never got to know his.

Okay, I'm finally at the end of this very long chapter and I don't think I like Teddy so much now. I had a feeling something bad would happen with him, that he'd recognize her somehow, and of course it happened. I can't believe Dom let it slip though that the test was for Toire, sounds like Teddy's already has something in mind about what to do with that information. i wonder what he wants from Dom though now? I'm very curious to find out more and I may just have to read on to find out.

Great first chapter, Gabbie! Sorry it took me forever to finish this swap, this chapter was a little too long for me to read in one go, lol.

xxNix

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you for this really great review and for doing this swap with me. At the time, I was really upset but I'm doing much better now and you're a doll. :D

I have never read many stories with Dominique but for some reason, the stutter was something that never left my mind when I came up with this story. In fact, I pictured Dominique so clearly in my mind and this entire first chapter is basically what I imagined. I don't know WHY I pictured her with a stutter but now I can't think of her any other way but I can't tell you about what happened with the pigs. >:)

I'm actually glad that you pointed out Dom's dislike of her sister. A lot of people immediately side with her and are sympathetic but there are traits about Dom that aren't all that pleasant either. I know that Victoire is pretty awful though so it's easy to see why they wouldn't really want to support her. I do believe that Victoire is very spoiled and entitled, which is why she always relies on Dom to help her. There are other factors at play here but I can't go into that right now but Dom desperately wants to be loved by her sister on one hand and resents her on the other. It wasn't a surprise that she helped but she'll regret it later, I assure you.

Dun, dun, dun!

I think that a part of Dom's problems are her lack of confidence. I didn't really play with that idea in this chapter but I think that being overshadowed for so long has her confidence a lot. It must be nice though to be looked by boys like she's important. You know, I never thought of who the hair belonged to that Victoire used for the Polyjuice potion. That's actually an interesting question, it's kind of silly of me not to have answered it by now. Hahahaha.

Teddy is a complicated person and he has a reason for bullying Dom the way he does. I don't think that you'll like him much as this chapter goes on but you should be aware of how nasty he'll get. Hahha. He is the reason for the pig incident though, they'll mention it later on, though I don't really go into much detail about it for some reason.

I think Dom's reaction to Teddy, the butterflies were mostly from the fact that he seemed so charming. I think any girl could fall for a sweet smile but it does make you wonder, doesn't it? Hehehe. I don't think that you'll like Teddy much but if you want to read more about him you should try reading "Glass" on my page. It explains so much more about how he is and why.

Teddy is a pretty perceptive guy and he is actually kind of cunning. Dom got herself into a situation with him and now she's stuck for the moment. I hope you stop by again soon, it was so great catching up with you!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #8, by mymischiefmanaged Playmate

27th August 2015:
HI Gabbie, here for our swap :)

So I think this story is incredibly well written and really original. Your Dominique is very unusual and I really like her. You've shown how a character can be shy and socially awkward but still have a strong personality and think for themselves, which I think is really important. I like her lots and I'm looking forward to seeing how she develops as a character.

You've written Teddy very well. He's really, really horrible, and his taunting of Dominique is incredibly cruel. I kind of don't really know what to make of it, though. It's well written and their dynamic is really interesting, but I find it quite hard to believe that Harry's godson would behave like this. I hope that we gain some more understanding of what's led him to be this way, and hopefully later on he'll have a chance to redeem himself? What you've done with him is very original though, and it does work well. I'm just very attached to the idea of a sweet Teddy.

I'm looking forward to seeing more of Victoire. From what we know of her so far she seems really difficult, but I like to think that she's earned Dominique's extreme loyalty somehow, and would be interested to see how.

This is a really intriguing second chapter and you've set this story up to be really interesting. All of your characters seem like they have some big developments to go through and I'm excited to see where you take them.

As always, I'm super impressed by your writing :)

Emma x

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by with this lovely review. I really needed something positive today!

I don't read a lot of stories that feature Dominique as a lead character very often so I think it's interesting how people tell me she's so different. Hm. Maybe I should branch out a bit, eh? I think that Dom doesn't understand her own strength though, which is why she alternates between very shy and even docile to the little sarcastic version that we briefly see here. Teddy finds it fascinating too and although he has his reasons, I think you'll be surprised when you find out why later on.

Anyway, Teddy Lupin is a horror. I'm not really fond of writing squeaky clean characters, no matter their background so the fact that he's so terrible here was great to write. Oh, he's awful but there's just something about him that makes me want to smack/hug him. Hahahah. I wrote Benjamin Malfoy from my story "Abandon" this way as a well. Oh, how the ladies swooned over that monster...

Anyhoo!

I think that you should keep on reading if you want to know more about why Teddy's this terrible. I will tell you though, that the explanation might make you hate me a little bit. What's strange is that Harry hasn't shown up in this story at all and while it's mostly because of time and my laziness, you'll understand more about his relationship with Teddy if you read on. Around chapter...six or seven, you find out more than you need to about why Teddy is so complex.

We see Victoire again in chapter five. I'm curious to know what you'll think of her after reading it too! Muahahahahha.

Thank you for the review, sweetie!

Gabbie


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Review #9, by MadiMalfoy Playmate

25th August 2015:
Hello! I'm back for the review you requested in my thread a little over a month ago! :)

Alright, since you just wanted a general, I'll touch on things I think you did well first and then give you some CCs on others later.

Firstly, I had actually forgotten how dastardly and insidious you made Teddy Lupin in this, so his characterization caught me off guard a bit until I remembered. His ruthlessness in threatening Dominique is stellar and his ability to immediately transition into smooth talker is just perfect! Although it does make me hate him a bit :P My only question about his characterization is who raised him? How did he get to be so mean and the like? I think that would better help justify his behavior since the majority of headcanons have Teddy being raised jointly by Harry/Ginny and Andromeda, all of whom are sincerely nice and caring people, so it wouldn't make sense to have such a mean-spirited teenager come out of that loving family. Since you gave the waiter guy a name and relationship to other characters in the story, I do hope he shows up again later on! Especially since he gave Dom that little confidence booster. I can tell already I like him. :P As far as the scene in its entirety goes, I think it flows at a decent pace, although the back and forth between Teddy and Dominique does feel a bit long to me, even with the relevant dialogue in there.

Speaking of Dom, YOU GO GIRL AND STAND UP TO TEDDY! It's very realistic that she lost her stutter when she gets angry at him and spits venom. Love it! However, in the first chapter especially, I feel like you've almost overdone her stutter a bit? Unless she has a very severe stutter I don't think she would be stuttering over every/every other word, but it's a lot less noticeable in this chapter. Obviously her stutter will fluctuate depending on how comfortable she is with the person she's talking to, but I would love to see her have some stutter-free moments of dialogue out of happiness instead of anger, just as a bit of contrast later on. I would also like to know just how Victoire and Dominique and Louis were raised by Bill and Fleur--considering Bill comes from the Weasleys, I feel there should be some sense of love and kindness somwhere, but I also understand Fleur's veela side may be more prevalent in Victoire and such as they all get older, so that could also play a role. Basically I just want more backstory!! :P

Overall, I think this is a great second chapter and I would be happy to read several more of these for you! Re-request anytime. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by with this great review!

A lot of people don't understand how Teddy turned out to be such a jerk. Hahah. I honestly don't write him as being very nice because I didn't find it compelling enough. There are a lot of reasons why he is this way though and I can't give them away just yet. Harry and Ginny may be his godparents but you don't really get that feeling from this story. I haven't introduced either of them quite yet and don't even get me started on Andromeda.

*Shudder*

If you read on, especially if you get to chapter six, you'll know why he is this way and might feel differently towards him.

His behavior towards Dominique is awful but it changes subtly over time. I think that you'll be surprised by WHY he seems to dislike her so much though but that's for another chapter. BUT you can read my one-shot "Glass" if you want to cheat and get a head start. :D

Logan Rookwood (The waiter that Dom kind of crushed on) will show up later on in the story but as of yet, he hasn't made an appearance again.

Dom's stutter is cleaned up in the next few chapters because so many of you pointed it out to me. Hahaha. Victoire and her siblings weren't brought up badly but once again, you'll get your answers if you keep on reading. :D

Thank you for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #10, by RavenclawFTW The Favor

14th August 2015:
Hey Gabbie! Here for the swap!

So I'm really intrigued by this first chapter! This has so many original components going on.

First off, your Dom! She's so so so different from how I usually see her written (not to mention how I write her myself!). You've done a great job not only making her sympathetic but realistic. I love that she has a stammer, not because I like her misfortune but 1. that's not something I ever see represented in fanfic, but is really important nonetheless, and 2. because I feel like it adds a lot to her character. It seems like she's always fighting an uphill battle, and I'm really intrigued to learn what it is that caused her stutter! You've really drawn me in with that.

This Victoire is also really different than I usually see. She's a total bully, but not in the normal way I see written-- she's actually making Dom do all this stuff that Dom doesn't want to do, while usually I see Dom just being annoyed to live in her shadow while Victoire is all perfect and witchy (if you know what I mean). In this, Victoire is straight up manipulative and I honestly just want to punch her in the face! (Well...unless she's pregnant, I guess, because it's poor form to punch a pregnant lady.)

And then Teddy! Oh man oh man how did Teddy ever become such a monumental jerk?! I've never read such an unsympathetic Teddy in my life!! I'm really really curious to see where you're going with him and his character, especially because I see that this fic isn't tagged Victoire/Teddy so there may be some Dom/Teddy in the future?

Finally I really enjoyed how you describe the apothecary and Diagon Alley in general! You included several wonderful details and I could both see how it's changed over time and feel the similarities between this world and canon. :)

Thanks for this swap! I really liked reading this chapter! Great job! :D

--J

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by! *Squish*

I don't really read many stories that feature Dom as a main character. I've read a few and for some reason, this version of her was the one that I couldn't get rid of, including the stammer. I don't know why though. I think that Dom goes through a lot of personal battles within herself and with her family but she slowly starts coming into herself as the story goes along.

Victoire is not a very kind person and I didn't want to paint her that way either. I didn't think that she would waste her time being nice or anything like that but she is very manipulative. I think that it's sad but it's the way their relationship is. What's sad is that there are real siblings like this.

Well, if you kept reading, you'd understand more about Teddy. Hahaha. I think that I like writing him this way the most because you guys just flip out when you read this for the first time! Hahaha.

I won't tell you if there'll be Teddy/Dom in the future. That would ruin the surprise! ;)

Awww, thank you so much!

Gabbie


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Review #11, by TidalDragon Night in Knockturn Alley

25th July 2015:
Well, as promised I have made it here to the (current) end of the line. I loved the attention to detail on the adventure in Knockturn Alley. It's never in short supply with you, but I tend to be pretty lacking in detail unless it's "important" in my own writing, so I'm always impressed by the care you take with it to help set the scene. As a result, Knockturn Alley was every bit as creepy as you'd expect. And the backstory of the Green Dragon getting shared along the way amplified that as well. The pattern bit was a quite well-done leap on from what we're introduced to in SS/PS too!

Here I am now wondering quite where we're headed with Teddy and Dominique. Though the previous chapters intimated this, I'm wondering if in the end this will prove to be perhaps the creepiest setting for an actual first date for the duo. Hmm. The line from Harry about the danger in standing out was quite interesting. At first I was puzzling over it quite a bit, but then it hit my tired mind over the head. And it's so true, especially of seedier locales. If you don't have something distinguishing that makes you appear strong or confident, you'll quickly become a victim. I'm interested to see if they develop a "couple-swagger" as the story goes on through this scene, and of course to meet the monster that has Lupin's pocketwatch. You're really setting him up as a nightmare of epic proportions.

Author's Response: Hey, again!

I am so happy that you managed to catch up and get to the last chapter (For now)! I missed you! D':

I really had some trouble with the Knockturn Alley scene because I wasn't quite sure what I wanted it to look like while I was writing. I had to actually do a bit of research on seedy neighborhoods just to get a feel for the place and I think it turned out pretty well. I was sure that you wouldn't have enjoyed all the detail though, so I'm glad that that worked out! I was so nervous...but anyway, Knockturn Alley is supposed to make you feel extremely uncomfortable and with what I revealed for the Green Dragon, that feeling should be amplified as you wonder what might happen to these two.

Ah, you're one of the few people who have picked up on the subtle change in Teddy/Dominique. I'm hinting at more to come between them, obviously but you know how I do, you're not going to get any answers to that until way down the line. I have a feeling that things won't go well for either of them tonight, of course but there's that little thing to keep you guys going. I don't think Teddy knows what a good setting for a first date is, to be honest. Hahaha. He seems more like the, "Yeah, there's a place over there that looks decent." Kind of guy.

I don't think he's a romantic...

Anyhoo! The thing about the Dragon being in a not so obvious place was actually something that I didn't think of doing until I wrote it. I was originally going to have it being underneath a meat factory (Stealing from the opening scene of Blade) but it somehow switched into a hotel-type thing. I don't know why. Hahaha. I like the idea of it being so hidden from the rest of the world though, you might end up becoming a meal or passing it by. :3

The monster that has Teddy's pocket watch is far worse than he is. I think that's what makes me grin the most as i think of what I want from the next chapter, the devil is mentioned in my other stories (Well, Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince) so having him here just ties my universe together more. But you'll see what I mean!

I don't think Dominique knows how to pretend but couple-swagger is seriously what they both need to survive the night. I hope it works out for them! Muahahahah.

Thanks for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #12, by TidalDragon Glamour

25th July 2015:
Ahh...an aptly titled chapter. I continue to like Dominique standing up for herself more, though it's a bit of a shame that she only fully loses the stutters when she gets salty with someone. Perhaps that will change someday...

As I'm a guy, I'll confess that the beginning and end were more my cup of tea, particularly the beginning where Victoire actually DOES try to help Dominique and gets attacked instead. Obviously it's the result of the past more than the present in that moment and not deserved, but it was interesting to again get a glimpse of Victoire making an effort to be sisterly. Even more awesome was the bit your wrote about Teddy unlocking something that had been caged up inside her. It definitely appears that way, and though I know your stories tend to have a...rougher...bent, I'm hoping that turns out to evolve into confidence rather than just bluntness, without regard for the consequences.

Still, as this shift in dynamic happens between Teddy and Dominique I did think the extensive middle was necessary here to show the lengths she was going to and also to explore her thoughts about the situation, her romantic past (or rather the lack thereof) and the comparison to Logan.

See you in the next chapter!

Author's Response: HELLO!

I thought you would appreciate the title of this. Hahaha. You know, I don't think that Dom has many opportunities to really be salty or aggressive with anyone. I assume that she has alot of pent up anger towards Victoire and while she's more comfortable around Teddy, her smart mouth comes into play more often too. I think that she's going to lose that stutter the more she accepts herself, that was how I had planned it anyway. Hahaha.

I honestly think that the middle was too long and thought about cutting it out of the chapter entirely. I had wanted to introduce Lucy at some point but I think that there was too much backstory and filler. As a girl who hates girly type things, I feel like it wasn't necessary to go through each step but when I look at the chapter as a whole, I understand why I kept it. Dom has never thought of herself as pretty and so dolling up and pretending to be someone she isn't, would naturally appeal to her. Even if she doesn't want to admit it.

Anyway...

Victoire has one again shown that she does at least TRY to be a sister. What's sad about this is that she may have stepped in too late. Dom is so guarded against her that they may never be close but I think that Victoire may actually have to break down and tell the truth about what happened between herself and Teddy. I'm sure that you might have picked up on what it is but Dominique is still going through a weird change herself so she's not interested in hearing what her sister has to say.

I think Teddy is a good influence on Dominique to a certain point. He's forcing her to become well, "human" and while my stories tend to get a bit darker, that theme will remain true. I cause my characters alot of pain and grief but Dominique won't be the same by the time this story is over. Not sure if it's going to be a good change or not though. Hahahaha.

Thanks so much for stopping by!

Gabbie >:)


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Review #13, by TidalDragon Glass

25th July 2015:
Howdy! I bet you thought I'd never make it, but I'm finally, finally here.

I like that this chapter led us to a further progression in the dynamic between Dom and Teddy, airing out some of the issues between them and about him and about his background - the shady establishments he frequents and the people he's "attached" himself to in the past in a manner of speaking by spending time around them (the Knockturn Alley folk). The characterizations were consistent and impeccable as always and the added dimensions helped that even further, between Teddy actually baring himself (like in the one-shot I read of the same name) and Dominique backing up her onslaught with finding the strength to stand firm when Teddy started in on her again.

All that being said, I do think the middle of the chapter was quite repetitive. Though the words were (mostly) different, the dialogue seemed to circle around the same material (even specific material rather than just the general topic) and though your detailed descriptions can distract from that, it only works to a certain point.

Since I've delayed I'll R&R at least the next chapter without request (and who knows - maybe even both the ones I haven't read yet...).

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by with this awesome review. I'm glad that you were able to make it in one piece! I totally don't mind that you're late either, I know how real life can get in the way and while we would rather pretend it isn't, it's way more important than fangirling over fan fiction.

The truth hurts, I know...

Anyhoo!

I think that I wanted to push Dom and Teddy as far as I could in this chapter. I needed their barriers to be down enough for the next few chapters too, so they wouldn't have felt so forced around one another. They needed to care about the other, or at least understand them enough to push forward.

I have the entire story mapped out from this point on, so I'm curious to see how you'll react to them later. Teddy has a strange fascination and attachment to bad things and people so I found it natural for him to frequent Knockturn Alley. He might need to try and find himself but he's doing it in the worst possible way.

What's strange about Teddy is that he doesn't necessarily know what he is most of the time. He's not a pleasant person to be around and he certainly doesn't like expressing himself but he continually shows that he has so much depth. What's great about this is that he bares himself to Dominique more than he would anyone else, even Fred. That was something I had wanted you all to pick up: The two boys were like brothers but who is the person that Teddy reveals all of his ugly thoughts and emotions to? It certainly wasn't Fred. Dom HAS to stand up for herself because I think she knows, from this moment on that she's going to need to be there for him.

Teddy is going to use her as his outlet for a while. It's not going to be a good experience all the time but I think I hinted at the fact that they're not done with one another yet.

Eh, I wasn't too big on this chapter. After the initial point where Teddy and Dom broke down, the rest just kind of became pointless for me. Hahahah. I tried not to make it out to be really repetitive, but it turned out that way anyway. Sorry! D':

Thanks so much for the review!

Gabbie


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Review #14, by lillypotter8264 Night in Knockturn Alley

7th June 2015:
soo good, cant wait to read the next chapter
xx
is it bad I ship them??

lillypotter xx

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by! I'm glad that you liked the chapter and you should feel a little bad for shipping Teddy and Dom, things aren't going to go easy for them. Heheheh.

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #15, by Chivalrous The Favor

31st May 2015:
Hi Gabbie! Here I am for the review swap!

So this is brilliant!

I've read Dominique a thousand different ways with her being a popular Queen Bee, a tom-boy, and a quiet girl, but your Dom is one of my all time favorites! Her stutter just makes her so different from any of the others and it doesn't seem to be a staple of her character. The stutter doesn't make her Dominique, but it's a part of her and it shapes who she is without consuming her and that's really cool! :)

All the supporting characters I've seen thus far are wonderful! Or wonderfully horrid when it comes to Victoire and Teddy I suppose. They seem exceedingly well-developed for minor characters especially in the first chapter.

I can tell that you like to do things in a very different manner than what's obvious! Which is so fun and exciting! I would've never thought to do what you've done with your characters, but it works and it's great and I'm here for it! Haha!

I'm very curious to see what Teddy wants from Dominique, but I'm quite sure it won't be good at least for Victoire. Eek!

All in all I loved this! It's different and fresh and I'm excited to see what happens next! :)

So please excuse me while I go finish this! Haha!

Sincerely,
Ireland

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by, I really enjoyed reading this review! I don't think I've read too many Dominique stories on the archives and I'm really curious about this tom-boy version! For some reason, her stutter is just simply a part of her character. I couldn't imagine her any other way and I'm glad that you liked it. :D

Hahaha, the supporting characters just get worse but here's a thing for you: Pay close attention to Teddy Lupin after chapter six, he may surprise you. Not so sure about Victoire yet...>:(

Anyway, thank you SO much for the review, it meant a lot!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #16, by CassiePotter Night in Knockturn Alley

24th May 2015:
Oh my goodness. Gabbie, I need another chapter!!! I want to know what happens when they go inside the Green Dragon! This chapter was brilliant, and I flew through it. I got to the end and just wanted more to read!
I love how Teddy and Dom's relationship is changing. Obviously, they have to get closer after some of the things they've gone through together, but Dom didn't have to help Teddy or come with him all the way to Knockturn Alley, but she did. She is really willing to help him, despite being afraid of what might happen. But at the same time, I think Teddy is really going to protect her and watch out for her while they're there.
I'm so curious to see what happens once they get inside! Especially because Dom has to pretend to be Claire Underhill and act like she's madly in love with Teddy. I have a feeling he's pretended to be other people plenty of times, but Dom hasn't, so I really hope she's able to pull it off so they don't get into trouble!
I'm wondering if she'll really be able to convince everyone there that she and Teddy are in love. Speaking of that, when he said to think of Logan Rookwood if she was having trouble feeling it, that just made me really sad. Especially because he sounded kind of bitter when he said it. I really want Dom to be able to do this for Teddy without thinking of someone else, because that means they would be able to get even closer, and I think they really need each other.
This was a fantastic chapter, and I can't wait for the next one!!!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: HELLO!

I'm really glad that you liked this chapter, it took me a looong time to get it just right and I was concerned that I didn't do a good job. I'm going to dedicate the next chapter to the Green Dragon so don't worry about me leaving you hanging. >:D

Ah, Teddy's relationship with Dom is changing slowly but surely. There's a connection between them now that neither of them want or can deny but I like pushing them towards each other and seeing what happens. The two of them never cease to amaze me. Teddy isn't going to let anything happen to Dom but at the same time, she may be in more danger WITH him than keeping her distance.

I'm really curious to see how Dom reacts to being in love with Teddy as well. I haven't written the next chapter yet but there are a few things that I'd like to touch on, the fact that Teddy was obviously jealous of Logan is one thing in particular. He was extremely bitter about Dom's affection not belonging to him alone and that plays a crucial part in the remainder of the story.

I think that they'll get closer but not before something changes between them for good. Hahahah. I sound so ominous...

Anyway, thanks for the review dear!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #17, by CassiePotter Glamour

23rd May 2015:
Hi Gabbie!
This chapter was so god! We really got to get into Dom's head some more, which I really like, especially because her relationship with Teddy is changing.
The beginning with Victoire was kind of hard to read. I didn't want them to fight, and could tell how uncomfortable the whole situation was. Particularly when Dom told Victoire that she had stopped being her sister a long time ago. That just seemed so sad to me. I'm wondering if their relationship will ever get better? Also I'm curious about what happened between Victoire and Teddy!
I'm so happy you brought Percy and Audrey into the story! They're always a riot! The line about Percy dragging her off the dinner table was hilarious! I also love the way you've characterized Lucy. She's so wild and fun, and so incredibly different from Dom, but their still best friends, which is wonderful.
And then there's the end of the chapter with Teddy. He's still so mysterious! I can never tell exactly what he's thinking, so I'm definitely just as confused as Dom as to what exactly their relationship is. I thought it was really sweet that he promised to be there for her if she ever needed him, though. I think it shows that he's changing, and can be a better person if he really wants to. I guess that will really be put to the test if she ever asks him for a favor or for help, though.
I'm really excited to see what happens when they actually get to The Green Dragon! I have a bad feeling that something is going to go wrong, but I hope that they at least get the watch back in the process!
This was a really fantastic chapter, Gabbie! I'll be back soon, because I really want to get caught up on this story so I can get back to some of your other ones, too.
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for coming back and I really loved your review! I think that this chapter does show that Dom's relationship with Teddy is changing. We're not quite sure what it is at this point but we do know that it won't be the same by the time this night is over.

Victoire and Dom's relationship is changing too. I took a lot of time to write this part and it was hard to write but it's necessary for what's going to happen later. You find out more about Victoire's relationship with Teddy later on in this story but it won't really be what you think and it won't be pleasant. Hahhaah.

Haha, Percy and Audrey are always great to write. I haven't been able to really introduce them in this story but I just HAD to include them somehow. I wanted Lucy to be different from Dom but still able to mix with her and they're best friends because of those differences. :D

Ah, Teddy. You can't really tell much about him at this point and you should be just as confused by their relationship as Dom. It's leaning towards inappropriate but at the same time, it might just be a friendship. I don't want to say just now and spoil the fun for you.

Haha.

Teddy can be anything he wants and that's what's scary. He'll be there for Dom if she wants but it's what he wants in return that might prove to be the problem. I have a bad feeling about The Green Dragon because I haven't written it yet! Hehehe.

Thanks for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #18, by CassiePotter Glass

7th May 2015:
Hello again!
I'm so, so happy that I have time to get back to this story! I love everything you write, but I think this ties with A Force of Wills as my favorite story of yours. I love Teddy and Dom's relationship, and how much it's changed over the course of the story so far. Even though at the start of this it seems like Dom is just an awkward quiet girl and Teddy is a cruel, nasty guy, by the time we get to this chapter, they are both so much more complicated that that. They're just such well-written characters!!!
I was really worried for Teddy at the beginning of this chapter. He's not used to really feeling things so intensely, and I was scared that he would act out because of it! I'm glad he didn't do anything to hurt himself or Dom. And I think the fact that she was there and could talk him down from acting crazy really helped solidify the bond that they're starting to form.
They're joking with one another now! That has to be a good sign... I'm just so fascinated by the way Teddy and Dom interact! I can't wait to see how you develop their relationship further.
I'm really interested to see how this plan of Teddy's works out. The Green Dragon sounds like a scary place, and I'm really impressed that Dom is willing to go there for Teddy!
The end of the chapter was really sweet. I liked that when Teddy went to let go of Dom's hand, she kept her fingers hooked on his. Hopefully that means they can start to feel really comfortable around each other. They both need someone that they can be completely themselves around, and I really hope that they're able to find that in each other!
This was a fantastic chapter, Gabbie! I'm so happy to get back to this story. I'll come back for the next chapter as soon as I can!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: HELLO!

I haven't been able to respond to your reviews as often as I would like but here I am now! A lot of people really, really love this story and I'm really glad because I was unsure if it would be received well. It had a rather slow start but I'm so happy that people love it! T-T

I was certain that a lot of people were uncomfortable with the way I had Teddy in this chapter but I think that it worked out all right. The main thing about this story that I wanted to write about was depression and how dangerous it could be if you don't get the help you need or have the right support. It's about discovering the truth in yourself, I guess. It's not an easy thing to write and Teddy's a hard character to get just right. Hahaha.

Dom and Teddy are joking with each other now! I'm trying to get them more comfortable around one another, the story takes a different turn towards this current chapter and I need them to be strong. Hahaha.

Dom would never be able to admit that she likes Teddy more than she does at that moment but you'll see more of how their relationship develops. Hopefully, it won't kill me. Hahaha.

Thank you so much for your continuing support! All of my stories are updated you know and I miss seeing your reviews for Abandon!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #19, by kitty Glamour

4th April 2015:
Definitely my favourite chapter yet; it was very emotionally charged and I liked the way you describe Dom's encounters with people. It feels very authentic.

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by again, it means the world to me that you love this story so much. I hope you stick around for the next chapter!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #20, by Alicelost Glamour

30th March 2015:
yay yay yay you updated! by the way I have a query Dom is 15 right? because if she was any younger I'd be a bit creeped out by Teddy's moves on her and all the insinuations

Author's Response: Hello!

I did update! Hurray for us! Dom is actually 14 so Teddy's remarks towards are kind of not appropriate and that was intentional. Hahaha. You'll have to wait and see what happens though.

Thanks again!

Gabbie


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Review #21, by HansWorth Glamour

30th March 2015:
I honestly can't get over how good a writer you are, would honestly recommend you start writing professionally because I genuinely think you would do well.

Author's Response: HellO!

Thank you so much, dear! I don't think that I'm a very good writer most of the time but you've made me feel really good about this story in general. D':

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #22, by HansWorth Glass

21st March 2015:
My god woman, your toying with my emotions! in the best way!
Seriously, this story is really good and I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter

Author's Response: Hello!

It only gets worse from here but thanks so much for stopping by for the tears! I really appreciate your reviews!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #23, by CassiePotter Him

6th March 2015:
Ok, wow. That was amazing. I love this story SO much, because Teddy and Dom are just so darn complex! Every time I think I know one if their characters, something like this chapter comes along and you throw me for a loop!
Firstly, because I need to say this and get it out of the way before I turn into a pile of feels, LOUIS IS SO CUTE. He's a little stinker throwing bugs at Victoire, and I love him for it!
Now that that's done, I have to say that I honestly don't know how to feel about your characterization of Bill! He's so, so different from JKR's, which I love, but he can be so MEAN sometimes, which I don't love. It was good that he was sort of protecting Dom's honor when he was talking to Teddy, but at the same time she really doesn't get that much attention from him at home. I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL.
And then we have Dom, of course, who I adore. She's so quiet and awkward on the outside, that I don't think anyone has a clue how much she has going on in her head. I think Teddy is starting to figure that out, but I still don't think anyone knows what Dom is really feeling because she's so good at being invisible or just making people see what she wants them to see. I feel really bad for her, though, because aside from her brother, she really doesn't have anyone that she's completely comfortable around. Hopefully that changes soon, because there are so many things in her life that would be better if she just talked to someone about them!
And, last but not least, Teddy. Teddy Lupin, the boy who has me even more confused about my feelings than Bill. I'm with Dom on this one, I just don't understand why he has to be so nasty all the time! If he was actually pleasant, or at least tolerable, some of the time, people would want to be around him! TEDDY JUST BE NICE TO PEOPLE PLEASE.
The part at the very end about his father broke my heart. It made me really sad to see that Teddy had that much hate inside of him, and I really, really hope that starts to lessen as the story goes on. Hopefully having Dom around will help with that. Then, when he asked if Dom loved Bill even though he doesn't love her, my heart broke again! I think that part of Dom ignored that fact, even though she knew it was true deep down, and having Teddy put right there in the open for her to acknowledge must be so hard. My heart really went out to her there.
This chapter was super intense, but it was so fantastic! This story is really, really emotional, but I love it! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: HELLO!

It's good to see you again! I really love writing this story and it's great to write Teddy Lupin. He has so much depth and when he's countered off with Dominique, I'm always in for a bunch of surprises.

Louis is the CUTEST!!

I have never written Bill that much and I had never given his character much thought before now. I think that after the War he might have changed for the worse on some aspects and I always had the feeling that he might have been rather vain. I'm not sure why. Hahaha.

Dom has a lot of things going on for her right now and she's growing as well. She can't express herself the way she would like but I'm trying to get her to grow and her connection to Teddy is a huge part of that.

Teddy can NEVER be nice to anyone! I don't know why but something about him just makes me hate and love him all at once. I think that he's really complicated and that's what makes him fun to write. My favorite part of this chapter was the ending, there are some hard truths to life and it was a really hard thing to write. ;__;

Thanks so much for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #24, by CassiePotter Empty

18th February 2015:
This chapter was so brilliant. I LOVE the way you write Teddy! Especially because he's so different from the way I've written him. I have him as this really nice, stand-up guy and every time I read him in this story it just reenforces how different your version is from mine. He's so incredibly complex, and I can't imagine how much stuff is going on in his head in this chapter, in particular. You can tell that selling his father's pocket watch is something he really regrets, and I am really hoping he's able to get it back. Seeing the much more human side of him in this chapter honestly made me pity him, so I think that's why I want him to succeed in getting the pocket watch back. Although, if he does get it then the bargain with Dom is off... Now I'm wondering where the story will go if that happens! You've got me so intrigued!
The end with Victoire and Dom was really interesting, too. Victoire really gets on my nerves, which I think it intentional because of how mean she can be, but I'm hoping that if she ever finds out what Dom has done for her that she'll start being nicer!
I'm really excited to keep reading this story! Your characterizations are so unique, and I love it! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: HELLO!

This was the hardest chapter for me to write because I'm not really sure what to do with Teddy sometimes. Hahahha. He's a really complex person and I think that he only keeps evolving as we go and I really enjoy that about him. I can't quite say if getting his father's watch back will be easy but he will learn a valuable lesson from it.

Victoire has a larger part to play in this story and you'll see more of her later on! Stay tuned!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #25, by lillypotter8264 Glass

13th February 2015:
sorry, for some reason something went wrong when I tried to review yesterday?? idk, but again I real y do like this story and am looking forward to next chapter!!x

Ellie xx(lillypotter8264)

Author's Response: HellO!

Thanks so much for stopping by again and every review makes me stronger! Hahahaha.

Much love,

Gabbie


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