Reading Reviews for Transparent
  
55 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TidalDragon Night in Knockturn Alley

25th July 2015:
Well, as promised I have made it here to the (current) end of the line. I loved the attention to detail on the adventure in Knockturn Alley. It's never in short supply with you, but I tend to be pretty lacking in detail unless it's "important" in my own writing, so I'm always impressed by the care you take with it to help set the scene. As a result, Knockturn Alley was every bit as creepy as you'd expect. And the backstory of the Green Dragon getting shared along the way amplified that as well. The pattern bit was a quite well-done leap on from what we're introduced to in SS/PS too!

Here I am now wondering quite where we're headed with Teddy and Dominique. Though the previous chapters intimated this, I'm wondering if in the end this will prove to be perhaps the creepiest setting for an actual first date for the duo. Hmm. The line from Harry about the danger in standing out was quite interesting. At first I was puzzling over it quite a bit, but then it hit my tired mind over the head. And it's so true, especially of seedier locales. If you don't have something distinguishing that makes you appear strong or confident, you'll quickly become a victim. I'm interested to see if they develop a "couple-swagger" as the story goes on through this scene, and of course to meet the monster that has Lupin's pocketwatch. You're really setting him up as a nightmare of epic proportions.

Author's Response: Hey, again!

I am so happy that you managed to catch up and get to the last chapter (For now)! I missed you! D':

I really had some trouble with the Knockturn Alley scene because I wasn't quite sure what I wanted it to look like while I was writing. I had to actually do a bit of research on seedy neighborhoods just to get a feel for the place and I think it turned out pretty well. I was sure that you wouldn't have enjoyed all the detail though, so I'm glad that that worked out! I was so nervous...but anyway, Knockturn Alley is supposed to make you feel extremely uncomfortable and with what I revealed for the Green Dragon, that feeling should be amplified as you wonder what might happen to these two.

Ah, you're one of the few people who have picked up on the subtle change in Teddy/Dominique. I'm hinting at more to come between them, obviously but you know how I do, you're not going to get any answers to that until way down the line. I have a feeling that things won't go well for either of them tonight, of course but there's that little thing to keep you guys going. I don't think Teddy knows what a good setting for a first date is, to be honest. Hahaha. He seems more like the, "Yeah, there's a place over there that looks decent." Kind of guy.

I don't think he's a romantic...

Anyhoo! The thing about the Dragon being in a not so obvious place was actually something that I didn't think of doing until I wrote it. I was originally going to have it being underneath a meat factory (Stealing from the opening scene of Blade) but it somehow switched into a hotel-type thing. I don't know why. Hahaha. I like the idea of it being so hidden from the rest of the world though, you might end up becoming a meal or passing it by. :3

The monster that has Teddy's pocket watch is far worse than he is. I think that's what makes me grin the most as i think of what I want from the next chapter, the devil is mentioned in my other stories (Well, Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince) so having him here just ties my universe together more. But you'll see what I mean!

I don't think Dominique knows how to pretend but couple-swagger is seriously what they both need to survive the night. I hope it works out for them! Muahahahah.

Thanks for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #2, by TidalDragon Glamour

25th July 2015:
Ahh...an aptly titled chapter. I continue to like Dominique standing up for herself more, though it's a bit of a shame that she only fully loses the stutters when she gets salty with someone. Perhaps that will change someday...

As I'm a guy, I'll confess that the beginning and end were more my cup of tea, particularly the beginning where Victoire actually DOES try to help Dominique and gets attacked instead. Obviously it's the result of the past more than the present in that moment and not deserved, but it was interesting to again get a glimpse of Victoire making an effort to be sisterly. Even more awesome was the bit your wrote about Teddy unlocking something that had been caged up inside her. It definitely appears that way, and though I know your stories tend to have a...rougher...bent, I'm hoping that turns out to evolve into confidence rather than just bluntness, without regard for the consequences.

Still, as this shift in dynamic happens between Teddy and Dominique I did think the extensive middle was necessary here to show the lengths she was going to and also to explore her thoughts about the situation, her romantic past (or rather the lack thereof) and the comparison to Logan.

See you in the next chapter!

Author's Response: HELLO!

I thought you would appreciate the title of this. Hahaha. You know, I don't think that Dom has many opportunities to really be salty or aggressive with anyone. I assume that she has alot of pent up anger towards Victoire and while she's more comfortable around Teddy, her smart mouth comes into play more often too. I think that she's going to lose that stutter the more she accepts herself, that was how I had planned it anyway. Hahaha.

I honestly think that the middle was too long and thought about cutting it out of the chapter entirely. I had wanted to introduce Lucy at some point but I think that there was too much backstory and filler. As a girl who hates girly type things, I feel like it wasn't necessary to go through each step but when I look at the chapter as a whole, I understand why I kept it. Dom has never thought of herself as pretty and so dolling up and pretending to be someone she isn't, would naturally appeal to her. Even if she doesn't want to admit it.

Anyway...

Victoire has one again shown that she does at least TRY to be a sister. What's sad about this is that she may have stepped in too late. Dom is so guarded against her that they may never be close but I think that Victoire may actually have to break down and tell the truth about what happened between herself and Teddy. I'm sure that you might have picked up on what it is but Dominique is still going through a weird change herself so she's not interested in hearing what her sister has to say.

I think Teddy is a good influence on Dominique to a certain point. He's forcing her to become well, "human" and while my stories tend to get a bit darker, that theme will remain true. I cause my characters alot of pain and grief but Dominique won't be the same by the time this story is over. Not sure if it's going to be a good change or not though. Hahahaha.

Thanks so much for stopping by!

Gabbie >:)


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Review #3, by TidalDragon Glass

25th July 2015:
Howdy! I bet you thought I'd never make it, but I'm finally, finally here.

I like that this chapter led us to a further progression in the dynamic between Dom and Teddy, airing out some of the issues between them and about him and about his background - the shady establishments he frequents and the people he's "attached" himself to in the past in a manner of speaking by spending time around them (the Knockturn Alley folk). The characterizations were consistent and impeccable as always and the added dimensions helped that even further, between Teddy actually baring himself (like in the one-shot I read of the same name) and Dominique backing up her onslaught with finding the strength to stand firm when Teddy started in on her again.

All that being said, I do think the middle of the chapter was quite repetitive. Though the words were (mostly) different, the dialogue seemed to circle around the same material (even specific material rather than just the general topic) and though your detailed descriptions can distract from that, it only works to a certain point.

Since I've delayed I'll R&R at least the next chapter without request (and who knows - maybe even both the ones I haven't read yet...).

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by with this awesome review. I'm glad that you were able to make it in one piece! I totally don't mind that you're late either, I know how real life can get in the way and while we would rather pretend it isn't, it's way more important than fangirling over fan fiction.

The truth hurts, I know...

Anyhoo!

I think that I wanted to push Dom and Teddy as far as I could in this chapter. I needed their barriers to be down enough for the next few chapters too, so they wouldn't have felt so forced around one another. They needed to care about the other, or at least understand them enough to push forward.

I have the entire story mapped out from this point on, so I'm curious to see how you'll react to them later. Teddy has a strange fascination and attachment to bad things and people so I found it natural for him to frequent Knockturn Alley. He might need to try and find himself but he's doing it in the worst possible way.

What's strange about Teddy is that he doesn't necessarily know what he is most of the time. He's not a pleasant person to be around and he certainly doesn't like expressing himself but he continually shows that he has so much depth. What's great about this is that he bares himself to Dominique more than he would anyone else, even Fred. That was something I had wanted you all to pick up: The two boys were like brothers but who is the person that Teddy reveals all of his ugly thoughts and emotions to? It certainly wasn't Fred. Dom HAS to stand up for herself because I think she knows, from this moment on that she's going to need to be there for him.

Teddy is going to use her as his outlet for a while. It's not going to be a good experience all the time but I think I hinted at the fact that they're not done with one another yet.

Eh, I wasn't too big on this chapter. After the initial point where Teddy and Dom broke down, the rest just kind of became pointless for me. Hahahah. I tried not to make it out to be really repetitive, but it turned out that way anyway. Sorry! D':

Thanks so much for the review!

Gabbie


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Review #4, by lillypotter8264 Night in Knockturn Alley

7th June 2015:
soo good, cant wait to read the next chapter
xx
is it bad I ship them??

lillypotter xx

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by! I'm glad that you liked the chapter and you should feel a little bad for shipping Teddy and Dom, things aren't going to go easy for them. Heheheh.

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #5, by Chivalrous The Favor

31st May 2015:
Hi Gabbie! Here I am for the review swap!

So this is brilliant!

I've read Dominique a thousand different ways with her being a popular Queen Bee, a tom-boy, and a quiet girl, but your Dom is one of my all time favorites! Her stutter just makes her so different from any of the others and it doesn't seem to be a staple of her character. The stutter doesn't make her Dominique, but it's a part of her and it shapes who she is without consuming her and that's really cool! :)

All the supporting characters I've seen thus far are wonderful! Or wonderfully horrid when it comes to Victoire and Teddy I suppose. They seem exceedingly well-developed for minor characters especially in the first chapter.

I can tell that you like to do things in a very different manner than what's obvious! Which is so fun and exciting! I would've never thought to do what you've done with your characters, but it works and it's great and I'm here for it! Haha!

I'm very curious to see what Teddy wants from Dominique, but I'm quite sure it won't be good at least for Victoire. Eek!

All in all I loved this! It's different and fresh and I'm excited to see what happens next! :)

So please excuse me while I go finish this! Haha!

Sincerely,
Ireland

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by, I really enjoyed reading this review! I don't think I've read too many Dominique stories on the archives and I'm really curious about this tom-boy version! For some reason, her stutter is just simply a part of her character. I couldn't imagine her any other way and I'm glad that you liked it. :D

Hahaha, the supporting characters just get worse but here's a thing for you: Pay close attention to Teddy Lupin after chapter six, he may surprise you. Not so sure about Victoire yet...>:(

Anyway, thank you SO much for the review, it meant a lot!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #6, by CassiePotter Night in Knockturn Alley

24th May 2015:
Oh my goodness. Gabbie, I need another chapter!!! I want to know what happens when they go inside the Green Dragon! This chapter was brilliant, and I flew through it. I got to the end and just wanted more to read!
I love how Teddy and Dom's relationship is changing. Obviously, they have to get closer after some of the things they've gone through together, but Dom didn't have to help Teddy or come with him all the way to Knockturn Alley, but she did. She is really willing to help him, despite being afraid of what might happen. But at the same time, I think Teddy is really going to protect her and watch out for her while they're there.
I'm so curious to see what happens once they get inside! Especially because Dom has to pretend to be Claire Underhill and act like she's madly in love with Teddy. I have a feeling he's pretended to be other people plenty of times, but Dom hasn't, so I really hope she's able to pull it off so they don't get into trouble!
I'm wondering if she'll really be able to convince everyone there that she and Teddy are in love. Speaking of that, when he said to think of Logan Rookwood if she was having trouble feeling it, that just made me really sad. Especially because he sounded kind of bitter when he said it. I really want Dom to be able to do this for Teddy without thinking of someone else, because that means they would be able to get even closer, and I think they really need each other.
This was a fantastic chapter, and I can't wait for the next one!!!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: HELLO!

I'm really glad that you liked this chapter, it took me a looong time to get it just right and I was concerned that I didn't do a good job. I'm going to dedicate the next chapter to the Green Dragon so don't worry about me leaving you hanging. >:D

Ah, Teddy's relationship with Dom is changing slowly but surely. There's a connection between them now that neither of them want or can deny but I like pushing them towards each other and seeing what happens. The two of them never cease to amaze me. Teddy isn't going to let anything happen to Dom but at the same time, she may be in more danger WITH him than keeping her distance.

I'm really curious to see how Dom reacts to being in love with Teddy as well. I haven't written the next chapter yet but there are a few things that I'd like to touch on, the fact that Teddy was obviously jealous of Logan is one thing in particular. He was extremely bitter about Dom's affection not belonging to him alone and that plays a crucial part in the remainder of the story.

I think that they'll get closer but not before something changes between them for good. Hahahah. I sound so ominous...

Anyway, thanks for the review dear!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #7, by CassiePotter Glamour

23rd May 2015:
Hi Gabbie!
This chapter was so god! We really got to get into Dom's head some more, which I really like, especially because her relationship with Teddy is changing.
The beginning with Victoire was kind of hard to read. I didn't want them to fight, and could tell how uncomfortable the whole situation was. Particularly when Dom told Victoire that she had stopped being her sister a long time ago. That just seemed so sad to me. I'm wondering if their relationship will ever get better? Also I'm curious about what happened between Victoire and Teddy!
I'm so happy you brought Percy and Audrey into the story! They're always a riot! The line about Percy dragging her off the dinner table was hilarious! I also love the way you've characterized Lucy. She's so wild and fun, and so incredibly different from Dom, but their still best friends, which is wonderful.
And then there's the end of the chapter with Teddy. He's still so mysterious! I can never tell exactly what he's thinking, so I'm definitely just as confused as Dom as to what exactly their relationship is. I thought it was really sweet that he promised to be there for her if she ever needed him, though. I think it shows that he's changing, and can be a better person if he really wants to. I guess that will really be put to the test if she ever asks him for a favor or for help, though.
I'm really excited to see what happens when they actually get to The Green Dragon! I have a bad feeling that something is going to go wrong, but I hope that they at least get the watch back in the process!
This was a really fantastic chapter, Gabbie! I'll be back soon, because I really want to get caught up on this story so I can get back to some of your other ones, too.
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for coming back and I really loved your review! I think that this chapter does show that Dom's relationship with Teddy is changing. We're not quite sure what it is at this point but we do know that it won't be the same by the time this night is over.

Victoire and Dom's relationship is changing too. I took a lot of time to write this part and it was hard to write but it's necessary for what's going to happen later. You find out more about Victoire's relationship with Teddy later on in this story but it won't really be what you think and it won't be pleasant. Hahhaah.

Haha, Percy and Audrey are always great to write. I haven't been able to really introduce them in this story but I just HAD to include them somehow. I wanted Lucy to be different from Dom but still able to mix with her and they're best friends because of those differences. :D

Ah, Teddy. You can't really tell much about him at this point and you should be just as confused by their relationship as Dom. It's leaning towards inappropriate but at the same time, it might just be a friendship. I don't want to say just now and spoil the fun for you.

Haha.

Teddy can be anything he wants and that's what's scary. He'll be there for Dom if she wants but it's what he wants in return that might prove to be the problem. I have a bad feeling about The Green Dragon because I haven't written it yet! Hehehe.

Thanks for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #8, by CassiePotter Glass

7th May 2015:
Hello again!
I'm so, so happy that I have time to get back to this story! I love everything you write, but I think this ties with A Force of Wills as my favorite story of yours. I love Teddy and Dom's relationship, and how much it's changed over the course of the story so far. Even though at the start of this it seems like Dom is just an awkward quiet girl and Teddy is a cruel, nasty guy, by the time we get to this chapter, they are both so much more complicated that that. They're just such well-written characters!!!
I was really worried for Teddy at the beginning of this chapter. He's not used to really feeling things so intensely, and I was scared that he would act out because of it! I'm glad he didn't do anything to hurt himself or Dom. And I think the fact that she was there and could talk him down from acting crazy really helped solidify the bond that they're starting to form.
They're joking with one another now! That has to be a good sign... I'm just so fascinated by the way Teddy and Dom interact! I can't wait to see how you develop their relationship further.
I'm really interested to see how this plan of Teddy's works out. The Green Dragon sounds like a scary place, and I'm really impressed that Dom is willing to go there for Teddy!
The end of the chapter was really sweet. I liked that when Teddy went to let go of Dom's hand, she kept her fingers hooked on his. Hopefully that means they can start to feel really comfortable around each other. They both need someone that they can be completely themselves around, and I really hope that they're able to find that in each other!
This was a fantastic chapter, Gabbie! I'm so happy to get back to this story. I'll come back for the next chapter as soon as I can!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: HELLO!

I haven't been able to respond to your reviews as often as I would like but here I am now! A lot of people really, really love this story and I'm really glad because I was unsure if it would be received well. It had a rather slow start but I'm so happy that people love it! T-T

I was certain that a lot of people were uncomfortable with the way I had Teddy in this chapter but I think that it worked out all right. The main thing about this story that I wanted to write about was depression and how dangerous it could be if you don't get the help you need or have the right support. It's about discovering the truth in yourself, I guess. It's not an easy thing to write and Teddy's a hard character to get just right. Hahaha.

Dom and Teddy are joking with each other now! I'm trying to get them more comfortable around one another, the story takes a different turn towards this current chapter and I need them to be strong. Hahaha.

Dom would never be able to admit that she likes Teddy more than she does at that moment but you'll see more of how their relationship develops. Hopefully, it won't kill me. Hahaha.

Thank you so much for your continuing support! All of my stories are updated you know and I miss seeing your reviews for Abandon!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #9, by kitty Glamour

4th April 2015:
Definitely my favourite chapter yet; it was very emotionally charged and I liked the way you describe Dom's encounters with people. It feels very authentic.

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by again, it means the world to me that you love this story so much. I hope you stick around for the next chapter!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #10, by Alicelost Glamour

30th March 2015:
yay yay yay you updated! by the way I have a query Dom is 15 right? because if she was any younger I'd be a bit creeped out by Teddy's moves on her and all the insinuations

Author's Response: Hello!

I did update! Hurray for us! Dom is actually 14 so Teddy's remarks towards are kind of not appropriate and that was intentional. Hahaha. You'll have to wait and see what happens though.

Thanks again!

Gabbie


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Review #11, by HansWorth Glamour

30th March 2015:
I honestly can't get over how good a writer you are, would honestly recommend you start writing professionally because I genuinely think you would do well.

Author's Response: HellO!

Thank you so much, dear! I don't think that I'm a very good writer most of the time but you've made me feel really good about this story in general. D':

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #12, by HansWorth Glass

21st March 2015:
My god woman, your toying with my emotions! in the best way!
Seriously, this story is really good and I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter

Author's Response: Hello!

It only gets worse from here but thanks so much for stopping by for the tears! I really appreciate your reviews!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #13, by CassiePotter Him

6th March 2015:
Ok, wow. That was amazing. I love this story SO much, because Teddy and Dom are just so darn complex! Every time I think I know one if their characters, something like this chapter comes along and you throw me for a loop!
Firstly, because I need to say this and get it out of the way before I turn into a pile of feels, LOUIS IS SO CUTE. He's a little stinker throwing bugs at Victoire, and I love him for it!
Now that that's done, I have to say that I honestly don't know how to feel about your characterization of Bill! He's so, so different from JKR's, which I love, but he can be so MEAN sometimes, which I don't love. It was good that he was sort of protecting Dom's honor when he was talking to Teddy, but at the same time she really doesn't get that much attention from him at home. I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL.
And then we have Dom, of course, who I adore. She's so quiet and awkward on the outside, that I don't think anyone has a clue how much she has going on in her head. I think Teddy is starting to figure that out, but I still don't think anyone knows what Dom is really feeling because she's so good at being invisible or just making people see what she wants them to see. I feel really bad for her, though, because aside from her brother, she really doesn't have anyone that she's completely comfortable around. Hopefully that changes soon, because there are so many things in her life that would be better if she just talked to someone about them!
And, last but not least, Teddy. Teddy Lupin, the boy who has me even more confused about my feelings than Bill. I'm with Dom on this one, I just don't understand why he has to be so nasty all the time! If he was actually pleasant, or at least tolerable, some of the time, people would want to be around him! TEDDY JUST BE NICE TO PEOPLE PLEASE.
The part at the very end about his father broke my heart. It made me really sad to see that Teddy had that much hate inside of him, and I really, really hope that starts to lessen as the story goes on. Hopefully having Dom around will help with that. Then, when he asked if Dom loved Bill even though he doesn't love her, my heart broke again! I think that part of Dom ignored that fact, even though she knew it was true deep down, and having Teddy put right there in the open for her to acknowledge must be so hard. My heart really went out to her there.
This chapter was super intense, but it was so fantastic! This story is really, really emotional, but I love it! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: HELLO!

It's good to see you again! I really love writing this story and it's great to write Teddy Lupin. He has so much depth and when he's countered off with Dominique, I'm always in for a bunch of surprises.

Louis is the CUTEST!!

I have never written Bill that much and I had never given his character much thought before now. I think that after the War he might have changed for the worse on some aspects and I always had the feeling that he might have been rather vain. I'm not sure why. Hahaha.

Dom has a lot of things going on for her right now and she's growing as well. She can't express herself the way she would like but I'm trying to get her to grow and her connection to Teddy is a huge part of that.

Teddy can NEVER be nice to anyone! I don't know why but something about him just makes me hate and love him all at once. I think that he's really complicated and that's what makes him fun to write. My favorite part of this chapter was the ending, there are some hard truths to life and it was a really hard thing to write. ;__;

Thanks so much for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #14, by CassiePotter Empty

18th February 2015:
This chapter was so brilliant. I LOVE the way you write Teddy! Especially because he's so different from the way I've written him. I have him as this really nice, stand-up guy and every time I read him in this story it just reenforces how different your version is from mine. He's so incredibly complex, and I can't imagine how much stuff is going on in his head in this chapter, in particular. You can tell that selling his father's pocket watch is something he really regrets, and I am really hoping he's able to get it back. Seeing the much more human side of him in this chapter honestly made me pity him, so I think that's why I want him to succeed in getting the pocket watch back. Although, if he does get it then the bargain with Dom is off... Now I'm wondering where the story will go if that happens! You've got me so intrigued!
The end with Victoire and Dom was really interesting, too. Victoire really gets on my nerves, which I think it intentional because of how mean she can be, but I'm hoping that if she ever finds out what Dom has done for her that she'll start being nicer!
I'm really excited to keep reading this story! Your characterizations are so unique, and I love it! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: HELLO!

This was the hardest chapter for me to write because I'm not really sure what to do with Teddy sometimes. Hahahha. He's a really complex person and I think that he only keeps evolving as we go and I really enjoy that about him. I can't quite say if getting his father's watch back will be easy but he will learn a valuable lesson from it.

Victoire has a larger part to play in this story and you'll see more of her later on! Stay tuned!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #15, by lillypotter8264 Glass

13th February 2015:
sorry, for some reason something went wrong when I tried to review yesterday?? idk, but again I real y do like this story and am looking forward to next chapter!!x

Ellie xx(lillypotter8264)

Author's Response: HellO!

Thanks so much for stopping by again and every review makes me stronger! Hahahaha.

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #16, by lillypotter8264 Glass

12th February 2015:
this is seriously such a good book and I don't even know what id do if you stopped writing it.
the emotions in it are really strong and you really get a connection with Dom.
I felt angry with with teddy, then sorry, then REally sorry, then the cycle continued again.
Its a simply great book and I can't wait until your next instalment, plus I think im starting to ship Dom and him, and it's kind of scaring me,
i'll wait for the next one as patiently as I can,

Lillypotter8264 xx
p.s Although I said id try to wait patiently, im not very good at that and this was so good, so please post soon x

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you a whole bunch for your lovely reviews, I like to write strong chapters with even stronger characters and I'm glad that you enjoy it so much. Teddy makes you want to love him, then hate him and love him all over again, it is an insane ride. Hahaha.

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #17, by Gryffy Girl917 Glass

31st January 2015:
I absolutely love this story. Both Dominique and Teddy are such complex characters and I can't wait to read more about them. When Teddy was talking about feeling strange and never feeling this way before, it made me think that he was starting to potentially have feelings for Dominique. I think the two of them would be good together. She isn't afraid to tell him the truth and stand up to him. She also isn't afraid to be there for him when he scares others away. She seems to make him a better person, even if it's only for a few moments at a time. I loved how he grabbed her hand and then wasn't willing to let go of it. I also think that as Dominique is starting to get feelings for Teddy as she learns more about the real him. I am looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: HellO!

I really enjoy writing both Dom and Teddy but they're quite the challenge. I was never really that confident with how this story would go but I'm so happy that you all seem to enjoy it so much. Teddy may have feelings for Dom but I don't think either of them are ready for what that might mean for the future. It's a scary thought! Dom isn't afraid of him and she wants to help as much as she can but I don't think that it's going to work out the way she wants. You'll have to wait and see!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #18, by TidalDragon Him

6th December 2014:
Hello again! It's been awhile, which I'll take to mean your life has been absurdly busy as well (though I don't think you've taken three months to update this bad boy like I did with my novel. Shameful...).

Anyway, the deeper parts of Teddy you keep on revealing continue to be interesting. I wasn't much on Dominique's daddy issues, but Teddy's breakdown was different. Very well written with a number of quotable lines, including my personal favorite for him "Isn't the truth always a little evil?" I also thought the bit about his aunts being like different mothers to him was a very clever and unique concept that seemed to fit well with what we've seen of his interactions with them so far. Now I wonder if that will be followed up.

Dominique's progression is also intriguing. While she revealed herself to be the slowest person ever at applying sunscreen to another human being (even a squirmy little brother), she also seemed quite resilient in this chapter - fighting forward to do what she felt was right despite Teddy's despicable behavior and despite her own pain about being inadequate or marginalized within her own house. And what do you know, is she starting to shed that stutter? She certainly seems to lose it a bit when she's speaking frankly to Teddy.

As dialogue-laden as this chapter was, there wasn't much opportunity for description, though where it appeared I thought you did a good job describing the skin, the heat, etc.

I also enjoyed the mermaid bits. I now hope Louis and Bill find a mermaid. And perhaps that one pokes him in the eye with one of those tridents for being such a selfish, unsupportive father. We both know you won't do that, but I can hope right?

Haunt my thread again soon!

Author's Response: HELLO!

It's been a while for both of us and I am so sorry that it's taken me long to get a response for this review down. Forgive me...

I think that this story is shifting into Teddy's world more and more. I'm kind of intrigued by him the more I write him and I enjoy the breakdown and revival of him in various chapters. You might see Teddy's reaction to his different mothers in later chapters but I didn't have time to dwell on it much here. I thought that having him connect to each of the Weasley women (I left out Hermione for a reason) as a mother was something that defines him more as a character. He seems more real and not, say, just a figment of your nightmare.

Er...

Anyway, Dominique is hanging in there and her change is happening slowly but surely. She knows what she needs to do but in the end, who will she be? Ah, she IS starting to shed her stutter and it's strange how it happens whenever she's around Teddy...hehehe.

You know, I kind of hope Bill did get attacked by a mermaid as well. I may mention it at some point. Hahahhaah.

The truth is always a little evil,

Gabbie


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Review #19, by lillypotter8264 Him

18th November 2014:
Ok, I was gonna wait until I review again like last time , but this story is too good I couldn't help it!
I love where it seems to be heading yet i have completely no idea where that is. I t was a really powerful and emotional chapter and I was begging for it not to end. I can't believe teddy would talk about his father like that yet I can't hep but secretly feel sorry for him. Also, I have never read bill Wesley like this but it's really good, this story seems to be breaking all the... Stereotypes would you say? The point is I love it and don't know how long I'll be able to wait for the next one, you have to upload the next one soon, I went mad over the holidays, literally... But this story is so good, please update soon,

I'll be waiting , ( actually that sounds really creepy)
Can't wait, ( that's a bit more normal)
Lillypotter

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for stopping by with this lovely review. I really like that you keep coming back to it even though it's an emotional rollercoaster. Hahaha. Teddy doesn't have a very positive outlook on his father and with the way he was raised, I did that on purpose. Hahaha. Bill Weasley has changed alot in my mind and I'm glad that his character didn't put you off too much, I tried to stray from the usual with him. It was hard to write though. Hahah.

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #20, by lillypotter8264 Empty

1st November 2014:
plz plz PLZ write the next one soon, it's been ages and I don't think I could wait much longer, I really love your books x:(
I really do want to see what happens now, but no pressure, right?

Ill be waiting for ' A force of Wills' xx

Lillypotter8264 xx

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for sticking with me this long and I hope you enjoy the next chapter, it's been floating around for a little while! I hope to hear from you soon, thanks so much for stopping by!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #21, by Infinityx The Favor

16th October 2014:
Oh wow. Gab, your stories never fail to astound me. LOVE your writing style. There's a sense of urgency throughout this chapter, and every single word is powerful and conveys so much!

It's the first time I've read something in which Dom is characterized as the meeker one and Victoire as the selfish, bossy one. Usually, it's the other way around. I must say that I've taken a liking to the way you've written them.

Wow, I hate Victoire. She seems so cunning and manipulative, and ready to use her own sister for her own comfort. Plus, she's so ready to insult Dom in such a nasty manner. How could she even do that? It's disgusting. Her character is repulsive so far. And I have a feeling that those tears are as fake as they can get.

Poor, poor Dom. She's just so NICE. I mean, it's natural for her to snap at Victoire when she treats her that way, but in the end, she truly loves her sister and just wants that acceptance from Victoire. Gabbie, you're going to make me cry soon, I just know it.

Hmm, I couldn't help but notice that you added Teddy Lupin under Warnings when you posted in my thread. From what I got about his character in this chapter, he's a big bully, and Dom is terrified of him. I wonder what he did to make her hate him so much. I'm bracing myself for a rush of strong feelings as this story progresses! Once again, I absolutely love the characterizations. They're so different from anything I've read before. I mean, Teddy is always this extremely lovable character. It's a complete 180 here and I'm so thrilled to read on!

Dom's stutter is so interesting! From what's mentioned here, it seems like her stutter began after something to do with pigs. That's...weird. I wonder if Teddy had anything to do with it.

This was an amazing start. I didn't notice any grammatical errors in this, maybe because I was incredibly engrossed in the plot but I'm quite sure there aren't any. I'm definitely going to read on and you're going into my list of favourite authors. :)

Author's Response: Hello!

I am so sorry that its taken me so long to answer this lovely review! I've also really missed you and it would be great to know your thoughts on this story and A Force of Wills!

Anyway, this is one of my popular stories and it baffles me that I was able to get through the first chapters in one piece. I was worried that this wouldn't be received well. There are a lot of stories that depict Dominique as some kind of bad girl and I could never understand why. I could never really see her that way and so she comes off as much more of an introvert here in this story.

A lot of people don't like Victoire but even with her faults, she's a tragic piece as well. And there's something that's so FUN about writing nasty characters, which is why you'll be seeing a lot of Teddy in this story. Hahahha.

I have read about Teddy being really charming in other stories but I could never think of him that way either. I wanted to explore the darker aspects of his life and I went with it here and hope that you'll stick around to know what happens!

Dom has always had her stutter, I'm not quite sure why but it fits for her. The pig incident will be revealed eventually!

Thanks so much for reading!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #22, by Midnight spark The Favor

4th October 2014:
Hey Gabbie, here for your review!

Ooh... Victoire's got herself in quite fiddle here, eh? Look how arrogant she is though. Nice change form the perfectly polite girl I've always known. You just keep on giving me more surprises!

Lol, the conversation with the shopkeeper.

Ooh... Teddy. cue tremendous blushing.

Of course Teddy would know who she was because of that stuttering!

Apart from the teeny thing that Dom really does stutter a lot in this chappy, it was overall a fun, and great one! Thanks for the read!

Sana

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for the awesome review, I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter! :D

Hahaha, Victoire is not a really pleasant character though and I could never picture her as being perfect. I've read about half a dozen stories like that though and I wanted to stray away from it as much as I could.

Hahaha, Teddy is bad for you!

Bwhahaha, Teddy is really smart but he's kind of mean too so Dom is a lot of trouble, I think!

Thanks for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #23, by Moonyxluna Playmate

2nd October 2014:
Hey Gabbie! Finally here with your requested review! (I'd blame real life but it's actually not even that but other fanfiction that's keeping me away so I really have no excuse except for a muse that likes werewolves more than wizards :D)

So in your first request you asked about the first two chapters and then in the other request you asked about chapter two. I sort of had a plan to review chapter one and two all in one big one and leave it on chapter two, so I think I'm just going to stick with that plan as it seems like you've got more opinions on chapter one than two so hopefully I can be of more help! Anyway, here we go!

So I want to start out by complimenting you on your chapter lengths. I love that you really write enough that the readers are able to get into the story.

You did talk about the stuttering in your request so I'm not going to harp at you for it, but it is a little distracting that it's on every word.

Anyway, plot! So in the first part of chapter one we're introduced to Dominique and Victorie, and Victorie's little situation. At the point I'm at now, Victorie seems very cruel. I, more than anyone, get the sibling rivalry, but for the fact that Victorie is asking Dominique for help she turns around and throws in a really mean quip about her stutter or her lack of a social life. I do feel like this is just part of her personality, but it just seems really harsh for the fact that she's trying to get Dom to help her. It seems like she's a very cookie cutter 'mean girl' type, and I'm not getting much motivation for her character to be as mean as she's being, especially in a time of need for her.

Though, I think it does give Dominique's characterization a chance to shine through. All of your characters are really well thought out, and they have very realistic flaws and traits to them.

at her flawless pink nails as she spoke, "I-I'm n-nowhere n-near o-old e-enough!" -- if you edit, change the comma after spoke to end the sentence. (chapter 1!)

effective for millions of eager couples and vulnerable single mothers. -- this kind of made me cringe? Why would a package advertising a pregnancy test start of by saying "for any proud witch" and then go on to kind of insult single mothers, and praise couples? I'm sort of glad it made Dominique dislike it, also.

So we have quite a dramatic plot set up going into chapter two! Teddy finds out, and he's anything but nice to her. I'm interested to see how that's going to play into the story. He seems like he's that same bully type as he was in your one-shot I've reviewed about him, so I'm curious to see what kind of character development he's going to have as well.

Chapter two!

I really like Dominique. She's definitely one to cheer for here. I'm sitting here, thinking how much I'd love to see her stand up for herself and what-not, but that's what gives her such a realistic characterization is the fact that sometimes you just don't have the guts to stick up for herself. Though I am going to be sitting here cheering for it. ;)

I'm a growing young man, no one cares about what I do. But her? Oh, it'll be such a bloody tragedy -- such a sad, truthful hat tip to a messed up society. Go you, Gabbie.

I like that the stuttering is cleaned up here.

Take this as nothing but a compliment because that's what I'm meaning it as, but I cannot stand Teddy right now. lol. He irritates me and I'm looking forward to seeing where he's going to develop from this state of irritation that you have me in.

Okay, so at the end! This was very dramatic and very interesting! I really do like Dominique. It's sort of unfortunate on her part that she's so fiercely loyal to her sister when she gets treated so terribly, and obviously you already know my opinion on Teddy. This was very interesting! Keep up the good work here! I'm very curious about how you plan on developing this in the future. Especially once they get to Hogwarts!

Julie

Author's Response: Hello again!

I always tend to write really long chapters and I have to pull back sometimes because I can drag on too much. Hahhaa. Thanks for stopping by again though, I know that a lot of people don't like Victoire but her motivations for putting Dom in this situation will eventually be spoken about later on in the story. I didn't want her to be a cookie cutter type mean girl but she sort of turned out that way in this first chapter but Dom's character managed to struggle its way through somehow.

The thing about the pregnancy potion kit meant to be both ironic and degrading. It was probably made by a woman that does not particularly enjoy children and I just thought it would hint at Victoire's situation all the more. The consequences that would happen if it turned out to be true.

Dominique gets better at standing up for herself in future chapters. Hahah. Teddy is a jerk but he evolves slowly.

You are not alone in hating Teddy. Hhahahaha.

I think Dom's loyalty to her sister will prove to be a fault. You'll have to keep reading to see what happens though!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #24, by crestwood Empty

30th August 2014:
Hey Gabbie!

I must say, this is my favorite chapter yet. I know I said that about the last chapter. But this one is even better than that one, I'm sure of it.
You've practically deconstructed your version of Teddy Lupin. We saw so many different sides to him here and it was kind of terrifying in a way. He seems just so pathetic and sincere in this chapter, but at the same time, I feel like I have to be careful to trust a single word he says. I feel like he could lash out at any moment. You've really written instability in a way that truly dives so deeply into the roots of what makes a person the way they are that it's scary.

Teddy and Dominique have this strange sort of chemistry. He's so manipulative and untrustworthy that I don't think Dominique should like him, but if she did, I totally wouldn't blame her if that makes any sense... The vitrol between Victoire and Teddy is unsettling. I really do wonder what happened between them because it feels as though something is being left unsaid. This Knockturn alley business seems very shady and I can't wait to see what kind of trouble Dominique and Teddy get into.

You're are seriously such a good writer. I can't wait to read on when you post more!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by again with this wonderful review. I was so worried about how this new Teddy would be received but you guys have really made me feel better about it! I had a hard time writing him this way and I think that he's only going to get more complicated as we go along, I've already got some scenes with him that I'm just dying to write. I think that Teddy might honestly be either bipolar or severely depressed, the thought of him lashing out and attacking someone has crossed my mind as well. He's not the sort of character that I can really get a grip on, he simply does what he wants and its usually not pleasant. :(

Ah, the chemistry between Dom and Teddy is a bit worrying at the moment. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with them at the moment but there's something between them now. On one hand it might be a good thing but on the other it makes me want to bury myself under the covers.

Oh, the Knockturn Alley business is awfully shady and I can't wait to write it! I'm thinking of starting it in the next chapter if things go well but we'll see! Thanks so much for the supportive reviews, they've really made my day!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #25, by AdinaPuff The Favor

26th August 2014:
Hi, here for our review swap!

Poor Dominique. She seems like she's leading a rough life. I would be miserable, as well, if I were her. I don't know how she deals with it. She seems so unloved and used. No one seems grateful of her. It's sad.

Victoire is a brat. I cannot stand her! She's so stuck up and spoiled. That is her character, though, and you wrote we wonderfully. As a writer, I appreciate her. As a reader, I despise her :'D she uses Dominique a lot, it seems.

And oh dear, Teddy sure is one arrogant piece of work. Again, that's how you've written him, and he's a strong character. But I wouldn't stand him if I were Dom, which seems to be her case as well. He's nosy, as well. Very persistent. You did great writing him!

Thanks for the swap! Lovely first chapter!

-Leigh

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by with this swap, I actually need to head over to your own work and leave a review. Hahahaha. Forgive me!

Poor Dominique indeed! I'm not sure how she deals with it either but I think what's sadder is that she's so used to it. Her parents sort of push her aside and Victoire is terrible as an older sister so I think she's found a balance of not really being there and staying in her own head.

Hahahah, I don't think anyone likes Victoire and she's supposed to be that way. HAHAHAH, I hope that you'll be able to forgive me for what I've done to her character later though!

Teddy is an entire different species of awful and I'm glad that he's stood out to you! Dom can't stand him but she's not sure if she'll ever be able to escape him either and that's where the fun is!

Thanks for the swap, I'll get to you as soon as I can!

Much love,

Gabbie


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