Reading Reviews for Filch's Pet Peeve
  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm In Which A Plan Is Introduced

7th January 2014:
Hey Emily! Here for the 12 days of reviewing!

To be fair, I didnít know what to expect from this story but I really loved it and the whole story was a lot funnier than I predicted it to be :P I think the great thing was how though this was a Marauders story it wasnít focused upon them which was a nice change, though the brief cameo from James and Cho Changís ancestor did make me chuckle a little.

I loved Jasmine! She was such a fun character with the way she was giggling about Walker having his first kiss ruined, drifting off in an important meeting like that and wanting Peeves to stay. It was just so different to how I usually see her as I but I really loved her for that because added such a nice freshness to her characterisation.

All the other canon characters such as Dumbledore and Filch were really great too with Dumbledore being pleased about the small moment when it looked as if the plan was going to be pulled off. Of course he would support mischief making and I think thatís why I love him so much. Then there was Filch in the background not being too happy about this in the slightest but in a way thatís what makes Filch with his grumpiness.

This was a fun chapter and Iíll try and be back for some more!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Kiana! I couldn't get to the last two days of the Reviewing Challenge because school started, but I'm glad you could, for obvious reasons. :P

Ahaha yeah, this was my forst piece here so it's a lot fluffier than anything else I've written so far. I'm so glad you liked it and that you found it funny, I was wondering whether the humour was actually funny or not, haha. I'm too scared to actually write the Marauders, but I put this in their era so that they can make a brief cameo. I'm glad you enjoyed their mentions here!

Bahaha yes, I'm so glad you liked her! She is very fun and Walker is a bit of a pain, so her giggling about his ruined first kiss would be appropriate. I'm so glad you found her fresh and that you think she was characterised well, I was super nervous about that when I submitted this.

Ah, Dumbledore and Filch were okay? I'm so glad to hear that! Writing Dumbledore is so hard for me and I'm so happy that you think he was characterised well, and Filch as well. Dumbledore would support mischief-making, and Filch has a chronic case of the grumps, so hehe I enjoyed writing him.

Thank you so much for this lovely review Kiana, it made my day! :D


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Review #2, by Secret Santa! In Which a Counter-Plan is Formed

23rd December 2013:
Hi there! Here with another review! Oh, this is Secret Santa, btw :)

Anyway, great job!! Loved it! Can't wait to read more!

I keep on loving (and relating) with your character, Jaz! There are way too many stories with the main character as a fit, sporty person (hypocritical person speaking here)! Or, on the other hand, the main character isn't a sporty person, but is still super fit (me: ??). Anyway, I love Jaz! The characterisation is amazing- subtle yet still present.

The description was hilarious! Not many times that I get to call the description hilarious! But, Anna's bed! God, I was giggling out loud!

The only thing I picked up on was the date/time period thing. It's Marauders Era, and by the way Jaz talks about Lily and James, it was when Lily still hated James. So, around sixth year, maximum. That was in 1977, but, Bon Jovi was only got together in 1983ish. Now, that's way too nit picky, disregard that if u will :)

But, the thing I find odd is that Peeves, a magical poltergeist, knows about a popular muggle singer. So, maybe replacing that with something else would be good? Or at least something like, 'Bon jovi, yes, the muggle band. Don't ask me how he knew about their songs.' That was a bad example, but hopefully, u get the point.

Anyway, I enjoyed this! Can't wait for more! Merry Christmas! One day to go! :D have a happy new year! By then u will know my identity ;)

Anyway, have a good day or night!

Xoxo SS

Author's Response: Hello again Santa! :D

Wow, thank you!

Hahaha, yeah, I tried to make her more relateable, and her not being fit was a good way to show how normal she is, really. I've read those fics as well, where the main characters are just so fit and healthy and it's really unrealistic to me. I'm so glad you think my characterisation is good! :D

Hahaha, I'm so glad you found it funny!

Yeah, I think that was mentioned before, so I reeaaally need to go edit that out. ;) Thank you for that, it's not too nitpicky at all!

I never thought of that, and I see what you meant there, thank you again for pointing that out for me! I do get the point, I'll edit that when the queue reopens hopefully.

Thank you again, Secret Santa! Your lovely review made my day. Merry Christmas to you too! Haha, I can't wait to find out. :D

I will, you too!


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Review #3, by Secret Santa! In Which A Plan Is Introduced

11th December 2013:
Hi again BookDinosaur!

Well- U could say I am... ;) But, I am enjoying it very very much! :D Love reviewing!!

Of course I will! Okay- I'll need to think of a pairing first :) And I'm not a huge fan of love triangles either! Angst- well, I'll refrain from writing it! I'm doing this terribly hard topic for this challenge and I am dying! But anyway- the point from that is that its neither next gen not fluff :*(

The overall point of the last two sentences is that they were clues :) Very hard clues hopefully :)

Sure! I'd love to beta if u are willing- I will try to think of something else if possible :) And of course your work is good! :D Amazing in fact!

Honestly, I can't think of any CC. That maybe because of the tired state of mind I'm in (I had a blood test done today- and the sight of needles or blood makes me sick, so I'm still recovering ;) ). So, I'll go all fangirlling- hopefully, thats okay :)

Firstly, your character! So interesting!!! Yay!! She seems awesome!! And I feel like slapping the Head Boy! Dumbledore and Filch are characterised perfectly well! So congrats!! Yay!!

Oh my god, I'm sorry for the super short review! I promise it will be better next time!

Have a good day/Night!

Love Santa!

Author's Response: Hey there again, Santa!

Hahaha, I'm so glad to receive your lovely presents and I'm glad that you enjoy giving them, so it's a win-win situation. :D

Thank you so much! Ah, high five fellow unfan of love triangles! :P Ah yes, if it's the challenge I'm thinking of then I have a very hard topic that will reallly only go with angst, so yeah. But good luck on your writing!

Ahahaha, from the first review you left I've had a theory of who you are and that has reinforced it. Does your username start with an R and end with an E?

Ah, thank you! That's amazing, knowing I have that option open. :) And thank you! It means a lot that you like my work.

That is extremely flattering. Wow, well done! Personally I don't mind the sight of blood, but having blood being extracted from you is just plain creepy. And it does make you tired, so go have a nap! :P And that's fine by me!

Thank you! Jaz is a much crazier version of me, really, who's always late for everything. She is awesome (in my opinion anyway)! And haha, Toby is a bit of a stiff guy. I'm so glad you thought Dumbledore was characterised well, he's one of the hardest characters to write for me. And Filch is just plain mean.

It's fine, I loved reading it! Haha, no worries at all.

You too, Santa!


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Review #4, by MadiMalfoy In Which a Counter-Plan is Formed

7th December 2013:
And here's review #3! :)

I quite like your OC's and their friendship. It's obviously very well-developed and very clearly defined as a best friendship. Now that you've outlined the plan in this chapter, I'm very curious to see what happens next!

It makes me laugh that Jaz is so out of breath from all the "running" she's had to do because I'm a long distance runner myself so it's just funny because it's illogical to me. Anyway, great humor element there! :)

I'll be following this story as it continues too, so don't worry, I'm not just here to give you your prizes and leave. :P Great chapter! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Aaaand hi again! :D

Ah, I'm so glad that they came across as really good friends to you, that's what I was hoping for and I'm glad you think I got that right. And I repeat what I said before, I'm very glad you're curious. :P

Hahahaha well I have to climb stairs daily to get to my house, so naturally my character has to suffer more than I do, in my view. :P But haha, you're right, she is out of shape and it would be very illogical for someone who does do a lot of exercise. Glad you enjoyed it!

Ah, thank you! Your two reviews made my day, so thanks so much for that. :D


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Review #5, by MadiMalfoy In Which A Plan Is Introduced

7th December 2013:
Hi, here with review #2 for your TMR prizes! :)

So, I've never really been very interested in Filch as a character--I've always felt there wasn't very much to be explored about him that we didn't already know--but this has changed my mind! It's a great start to a sure to be interesting story!

The fact you've introduced your own Head Girl/Head Boy to be the characters more focused on is definitely cool and different than what the title assumes. I'm very curious to see how the plan unfolds!

Onto the next chapter! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hey Madi! Thanks so much. :D

I actually got the idea of the plot from Pottermore, I really need to put that in my next disclaimer. :-/ But I'm so glad you're finding my story interesting so far, and that you like the introduction!

Ahaha, thank you! I was too sared to write canon characters actually, so I ended up with my OCs. :P It is different from the tile, which basically alludes to Peevs being Filch's greatest annoyance, hence the plan to get rid of him. I'm glad you're curous!

Thanks so much for this lovely review!


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Review #6, by soapman333 In Which a Counter-Plan is Formed

31st October 2013:
Holy mother of Circe.

Can I use this? Please?

Also, send Peeves to Australia? I feel as though there is some favoring in this book! :0 hahahaha, just pulling your leg, I'm the worst person to ever judge someone for that (as you well know).

I love this story and I'm very excited to see what you're planning to do with it. Update soon!

Author's Response: Hahaha, I actually took the plot from Pottermore (I really need to put that in a disclaimer, actually).

And yes, the plan is to send him to Australia. That was both favouring and the fact that Australia is pretty far away from England. And I do well know! :P

Thank you for the lovely review Jack! I'm doing NaNo so there probably won't be an update until December, but I'll make it an action-packed chapter to make up for it. Deal?


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Review #7, by soapman333 In Which A Plan Is Introduced

31st October 2013:
Which I try to return without looking like a puppet.

Can we just take a moment to appreciate that line?! Freaking made me fall out of my chair, I was laughing so hard.

Walker seems like a guy with a stick up his rump, but I'm pretty sure he is secretly a party-boy that dances better than most persons his age.

Geez Em, holy hindenburg. You are seriously talented. Why. Haven't. You. Written. Before?! BLEEEH

Okay, I got it out for you. Seriously though, this story is fan-flipping-hilarious. Jasmine has a very humorous narration that I just enjoy reading thoroughly.

I'm excited to see how the plan goes!!!

Jack

Author's Response: HAI JACK. Geez, you went to town on my AP. I definitely wasn't expecting this. When I saw I practically fell off my chair myself and squealed. Thankfully I managed to hold it in and keep my balance. I did kind of bounce up and down a bit though. :P

I'm glad I made you laugh! And sure, I'll keep that in mind the next time Walker appears in a scene. :P

Thank you, Jack! Coming from one of my favourite people and authors, you have no idea what that means to me.

And glad you find it funny, I was kind of hoping that would make up for the rest of its deficiences, of which there are many. And I'm glad you like Jaz, that was one of my main concerns. :)

You're awesome

Emily


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Review #8, by marauderfan In Which a Counter-Plan is Formed

22nd September 2013:
Hey Emily! I have a much-delayed review for you, finally!

I enjoyed this chapter. Jaz's hatred of the unending stairs was quite funny. I never really had thought about how tiring it would get to live at the top of a tower. What happens if someone breaks their leg and has crutches (or is that too Muggle)? Something tells me Hogwarts doesn't have elevators.

Anyway. Most of this chapter was just Jaz repeating the plan to her friend, but I enjoyed their conversation as it gave me the chance to get to know Anna! I liked the way you described her.

The last few lines were interesting too because it sounds like a kind of Inception of a prank plan - she's got a counter-plan for Filch's plan. I bet there's a third level of plan in there, like Peeves' own plan because he found out about Jaz's plan or something. (Actually, that's probably not what will happen. I'll sit back and let you tell the story :P )

The one thing I wanted to point out was a little time inconsistency. This is set during the Marauder era and since Lily isn't head girl, it's got to be before 1977... So how would Peeves be singing Bon Jovi? I thought they were an 80's band. (Unless he has a powerful time-turner.) Anyway, that's just a picky detail. But I loved the chapter and I'm looking forward to more! Nicely done :)

Author's Response: Hey Kristin! I'm all bawsfghjkl; this is my first review on this chapter and I love you so much for it, but moving on, because that sounded way creepier on the webpage than it did in my head...

I'm so glad you did! Ahaha, I have to climb forty-two every day, so of course my character has to suffer more than I do. :P I have no idea, but I'm guessing the process would be a slow, gruelling and painful one. :P

Yeah, this was mainly a character-driven chapter, I wanted you to get to know Jaz's best friend. I'm glad you thought her characterisation was good - that was one of the points I was worried about. :)

Haha, that's what I was planning for it to be! And as for the third plan, you'll just have to wait and see. ;)

Oh snap, I just Googled it and you're right. I'm going to change that. I will. I will. (Nah, we both know I'm too lazy to.)

Anyway, I'm so glad you liked this chapter and thanks so much for this lovely review!


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Review #9, by Trundlebug In Which A Plan Is Introduced

4th July 2013:
I love this, it's got everything going for it.

Excellent characterizations and I really enjoyed the personality you invested in your OC. The snippets of humor made the thing fly by and kept it interesting, though you didn't really need them to; the story is quite engaging.

I really felt like I was at Hogwarts again, and that is hard to get right. Excellent work, 10 for 10

Ken

Author's Response: Hello! I'm so sorry for not replying sooner, I was in a plane for two nights. :-/

I'm so happy you like Jaz, I think of her as a crazier version of me, complete with laziness. ;P

Thanks, I did want the story to be canon and I hoped the Hogwarts aspect was okay.

Baww, you're making me blush, thanks so much for taking the time to read and review, Ken!


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Review #10, by KiwiOliver In Which A Plan Is Introduced

28th June 2013:
First off, I want to say that I really enjoyed this chapter, and think it's a great idea!
This story has a nice flow to it. I know what's happening and already have a good grasp on the Jasmine.
You've made a very likable character and you haven't made her over-the-top or perfect which is the trap a lot of people fall into, I like that. :)
I like that you portrayed Dumbledore really well, JK would be proud! It's often that people end up changing who he is or how he speaks and it can sometimes take from the story. But you've managed to keep the Dumbledore we love in a believable way!
The occasional side-comments/thoughts from Jasmine really helped spice up the chapter and made her a lot more believable :) I look forward to seeing her develop in future chapters!
You're Spelling and Grammar is, on the whole, okay.
*Warning* Here is my little bit of CC, I'm not trying to come across as mean but I think if I don't leave any then I wont be much help to you.
On the first read through nothing pops out too much, apart from occasionally you overuse commas a bit. That's not a bad thing though (I do it too), this is you're first story and a heck of a lot better than anything I could produce. And since I like it so much, I'll try my best to help here:
"Opening it, I tumble inside, trying (and probably failing) to retain any of the shreds of dignity I ever had."
A sentence like this is fine, but if you'd like to improve on the grammar, use a full stop after "I tumble inside."
My advice is to check out the Grammar guidelines section in the forum, I know that this chapter has been beta'd already so there's probably only a couple of things to check over. It's not a big thing, I didn't If you need help finding it just PM me!
**
Okay so the yuck bit is over now! Don't take it in a bad way since I really liked the chapter and I don't think the occasional mistake like that damages the story at all.
I think that you've come up with a really good idea for a plot here, it's not something we see a lot and you're including underrated characters like Filch which makes your story stand out more :)
I think this chapter was an awesome read and I'm genuinely looking forward to seeing how it progresses! Make sure you re-request a review when the next chapters up! I can't wait!
KO

Author's Response: Hello! And thanks so much for responding to my request so quickly, I really appreciate it. :)

I'm so glad you liked Jaz, I really wouldn't want to be writing a story where the readers don't like the main character. I was hoping the flow, plot, characterisation aspect of this would be okay (well, this was my first story so I was hoping basically everything would be okay) and I'm so glad you liked them. :)

Oh, I'm so glad about that, none of my other reviewers said anything about Dumbledore, but I was worried that he wasn't believable. It's so hard to write him!

Jaz's side comments are a little like me, so I'm guilty of a bit of self-insertion there. ;)

Haha, no, you didn't come across as mean at all. After all, I did ask for your strongest CC! So thanks so much for your suggestions. I'll definitely have a look at the Grammar Guidelines forum and see what I can do. And don't underrate yourself - I read and reviewed your story and found it really good. :)

I'm so glad you liked this silly little story. :D Yep, I'll definitely re-request once I've got the next chapter up. Thanks again!


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Review #11, by UnluckyStar57 In Which A Plan Is Introduced

25th June 2013:
Rawr!! Hey, BookDinosaur, welcome to the archives! It's great to see that you've posted a chapter at last!! :D

I thought that this was a really good start to your story. You introduced Jasmine very well with her rather chaotic thoughts, and she definitely seems like quite the character!! I'm very interested to know how an oddball like her became Head Girl! :)

It was really nice how you showed us Toby's and Jasmine's respective Houses without saying "I'm a Ravenclaw, he's a Slytherin." It was very clear, and you never had to say the names of the Houses, because we could tell!! Very clever!

Are any canon students going to be in this story? One thing I must question is the time period of this story. Is it Next Gen, Marauders, or Harry's time, or is it somewhere in between? In the next chapter, you might want to illustrate that with your fabulous powers of "show, not tell" that you've already demonstrated. :)

Also, I would like to commend you for the very low number of grammar mistakes that are in this chapter. I found very few causes for concern, and that's GREAT, because I'm a registered member of the Grammar Police. (I wish...)

The only problem that I found with your grammar was a teeny tiny misplaced modifier.

It can be found in this sentence: "Walker hasnít been friendly with Peeves ever since Peeves ruined his first kiss with a well-timed water balloon."

At first, I was laughing because I thought, "Haha, Walker is such a nerd that he wanted to kiss a water balloon!" But then I realized: Whoops, he was kissing a girl and they got HIT by the water balloon!! Heh, heh. *sheepish look*

I don't know if you'd care to change the sentence around for a little more clarity, but I thought it was worth mentioning. :)

Anyways, this was a marvelous first chapter EVER! You've certainly come in with a BANG, so I hope that you can continue onwards in the HPFF spirit!

Ravenclaws rule!! :D

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Thanks! I really like being on here. ;)

I'm so glad you liked Jaz! And like I said in another review, I'm happy I introduced her well, because to be honest, I didn't know whether I'd done enough characterisation in the chapter. But I'm glad Jaz turned out okay. :)

Ah, I'm so glad you picked up on that! I really didn't want to tell the reader, so I tried my best to show, but I did worry that it was too subtle.

Oh darn, originally I had a canon character in to explain the era, but then marauderfan pointed out that he didn't make sense there so I took him out. I'll get him in the next chapter. The one thing you can say is that it's not next gen, because Dumbledore's there. ;)

Haha, Walker was kissing the water balloon?! That's a new one. ;D I should definitely change that, and maybe I can throw in a name to define the era at the same time.

Thanks so much for a wonderful review that's made my day even though it's 4:30 in the morning. I hope I can continue on with the banging and the HPFF spirit! :D

Ravenclaws rule!


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Review #12, by PitchBlue In Which A Plan Is Introduced

24th June 2013:
Hey Emily!

This was great! The story flow was very good, Jasmine's occasional side-comments spiced things up a bit and I really liked your characterisation. That comment where she imagines Dumbledore trimming his beard really made me chuckle, I could totally imagine it.

So yeah, a great first chapter, it really made me want to read more! I hope writing the next chapter is going well!

- Laura

Author's Response: Hey Laura! My second review!

You found it great too?! Yay! :D I'm glad my characterisation was good, that's one of the things I worried about the most, because I didn't focus that much on Jaz or her personality. Haha yeah, I always wondered how Dumbledore kept his beard in such perfect order! ;)

Yay! And yes it is, I hope to put it in the queue next week. Thanks for taking the time to read this silly thing! ;D (And for your patience with me and your story! I'll get it to you soon, I promise!)


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Review #13, by marauderfan In Which A Plan Is Introduced

23rd June 2013:
Emily, this is fantastic! I really enjoyed it. The main character's constant asides and witty ramblings as she gets lost in her thoughts are a nice touch - it makes me really identify with the character actually, as it seems we both have ADD, haha. I particularly loved when she started thinking about how difficult it must be to maintain a long beard. And when the gargoyle got all sassy at her.

Looking forward to seeing what this plan is to oust Peeves. I'm really excited mainly because I know it's going to end badly for Filch :P

The only criticism I'd offer is that you mention James's strenuous Quidditch practices and that's why Jasmine wouldn't try Quidditch, but since she's a Ravenclaw she wouldn't have to worry about James's Quidditch strategies, right? And also, there's a line near the beginning which is just this random ]---] , like your elbow hit the keyboard or something.

Other than those minor issues, I loved this, it was a really fun read! And congrats on your first story published :)

Author's Response: IT WAS FANTASTIC?! MY STORY WAS FANTASTIC?!

...

Okay, I think I'm done fangirling over your wonderful first couple of words. Geez, if that's my reaction to your first phrase, imagine my state when I finish reading this!

The constant asides are kind of like me, but not as witty. Because, you know, I can't edit my rambling. ;) Haha I agree, the gargoyle and his sass are awesome.

Does it make sense that I'm excited to see the plan too? No? Okay, ignore this.

Oh darn, I completely forgot that James wouldn't be in Jaz's house. I should go change that. And the little symbol you found annoying.

You loved it?! Ah, I should finish typing before that statement catches up to me. ;)

Thanks so much for a lovely first review, Kristin! ;D


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