Reading Reviews for Broken Heart Beat
  
26 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Rowaelin24 Grasp

23rd August 2016:
Lovely chapter..great story..keep going!

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #2, by Rowaelin24 Touch

9th August 2016:
Lovely chapter..it was beautiful..keep going!

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #3, by Rowaelin24 Contact

6th August 2016:
Amazzing..never seen anyone who posts as fast as you do..keep writing!

Author's Response: Thank you! It takes so long for chapters to be reviewed that I'm a few chapters ahead already. XD

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Review #4, by Rowaelin24 Reach

4th August 2016:
Amazzzing chapter..love the story!!..please continue..

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #5, by Rowaelin24 Stretch

2nd August 2016:
Just loved the chapter!!It was amazing..keep writing!

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #6, by Fangirl Jaunt

29th July 2016:
Wow...I just love the story so far..and an amazing chapter..keep writing!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #7, by LanieZane95 Balance

4th March 2016:
Awww that last line was so adorable!

Author's Response: Eheh. Thank you for reading my story!

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Review #8, by ABlack Walk

3rd March 2016:
Hi there!

It looks like this is your first and only story on the archives, but that youíve been a member here for a while. Odd, I donít think Iíve seen you over in the forums. Your writing certain shows the polish of someone who is experienced with writing. I love how you start off with Hermione pushed to her limits. Itís quite interesting that you have her parents giving her the olí heave-ho, but in a way itís a good interesting because Iíve not seen it done before. And oh how well Hermione wears her mask of happiness when she goes downstairs. Itís hard to see her do that. Combined with the mention of panic attacks and her fear of thunder, and itís not hard to see that Hermione bears wounds that cannot readily be seen.

As far as concrit goes, there is very little. You might want to revisit the first sentence - I think you meant to include the word mattress or bed after ďlumpyĒ. Since itís the very first sentence, itís a little distracting, but readily fixed. I also think there was an instance where you used the word ďspanĒ where ďspunĒ might have been better. Otherwise, the only other thing I could see was some of the paragraphs had extra spaces between them.

Anyways, if youíd ever like to connect with other people who enjoy writing for the archives, I suggest you head over to our forums. We discuss writing, help each other, host writing challenges and even play games. My name there is Alexis Black and Iím a proud member of Slytherin. Currently some of us are participating in Operation Green with Envy, a competition in which we spread forum love. I do hope you consider joining us there.

- ABlack/Alexis Black
Operation Green with Envy
"Then end is only the beginning"

Author's Response: Thank you for reading my story.

I love to write, and was an English major in university, but I'm not very social so I don't spend much time on forums.

You're right that "bed" should follow "lump," and "span" should be "spun." You look at a sentence so many times when editing, sometimes it's easy to miss things. I expect I'll fix this chapter in future.

I'm not sure why the paragraphs do that, but I think it has something to do with using Windows 10 and Chrome to try and post stories, because copying and pasting is more of a hassle.

Once again, thank you for reading my story. I always love to hear from readers.


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Review #9, by lucc Stagger

26th January 2016:
Pleaseee carry on writing

Author's Response: I have another chapter written actually, but I like to make sure that I have one more done before I post the next.

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Review #10, by lucc Fall

26th January 2016:
omg shut up Draco -_-

Author's Response: I know, right? He's way prettier when he's not talking.

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Review #11, by lucc Falter

26th January 2016:
I shall continue reading...

Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying it!

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Review #12, by lucc Stumble

26th January 2016:
Wow this is really impressive o_o...cant wit to read more! x

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #13, by lucc Saunter

25th January 2016:
:) Omg Draco.head boy.Hermione

Author's Response: I guess you're enjoying it? XD

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Review #14, by lucc Stride

25th January 2016:
omg, this is like really good!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

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Review #15, by lucc Walk

25th January 2016:
This is really good, definitely reading more x

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #16, by Sabrielle Stride

21st October 2015:
You're a strong writer and the premise of this story is good, but Hermione is a Gryffindor - not a Hufflepuff. Even if she is heartbroken, she would never act so mouselike, especially around Malfoy! As a woman, you can be sad and have a spine ;) It's your story so of course you can write her as you please, but it'd be cool if you could keep her in character a little bit.

Author's Response: As a woman with both a spine and depression, the two don't go hand in hand. There's a big difference between being sad and actually being depressed.
But thanks for your input.


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Review #17, by Lauren Shuffle

15th October 2015:
Hi! I just wanted to let you know that I am really enjoying this story so far. You have a really great writing style! I am going through some stuff and am relating quite a bit to Hermiome's character. Please update soon, I'd like to see how Hermiome overcomes this challenge.

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #18, by SuddenCharm Crawl

24th February 2015:
Very good start! Please continue!

Author's Response: Thank you! I finally am continuing it!

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Review #19, by Zoe Fall

5th January 2015:
This story is really good!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

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Review #20, by Corin Fall

3rd January 2015:
What the heck this is so depressing. I hope it changes soon because it makes me so sad that she doesn't eat and that he calls her a mudblood.

Author's Response: Ahah. Well it is an angst story, after all.

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Review #21, by ohmyhorcruxes Falter

13th June 2014:
Keep Going! I really want to know what happens! It is amazing so far!

Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying it!

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Review #22, by lizzyher Falter

10th June 2014:
Loving this book so far!! Please keep up the amazing work!!

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #23, by Eliise Stumble

2nd June 2014:
Read all the chapters at once, and I'm impressed with your writing, and bit surprised that you don't have 100 reviews. Keep up the great work, loving it so far.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #24, by Chrissy Stumble

2nd June 2014:
Wow!! I just read all the chapters and I'm impressed! Your story is simply amazing. I can't wait to see what's going to happen next =)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I went on a hiatus to work on my novel, but I'll be uploading a few more chapters this week1

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Review #25, by Sarah Stone Stride

26th June 2013:
This is an awesome start! Every character is developing its personality. I like how you ended the chapter in a cliff hanger. Cant wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

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