33 Reviews Found

Review #1, by toomanycurls Chapter 2. The Dursleys Discharged

12th January 2014:
Hello!! Sorry I've been ages to get to my review thread.

I like that you're being meticulous with the plot. I kind of forgot that he might have to go release the Dursleys from some sort of protection. Though, they did say in DH that the Order wasn't using offical channels for their protection (Uncle Vernon explicitly asked about them qualifying for help from the Ministry instead of two random wizards). Though, you could assert that Kingsley would have let the department of Muggle Security know that the Dursleys were being protected after he became Minister, making their operation Ministry run.

The reaction Harry gets to just trying to do a simple task is awesome. The hero-worship and annoying crowd behavior is great. I especially liked the "hear that - curse breaking is a holiday' lines.

You got a real laugh from me with Mr. Weasley's don't mention it bit. And, poor Mr. Weasley having to put up with two worrying women.

Using flying as a catalyst for feeling hope after the war is brilliant. I mean, really, I couldn't think of a better way to symbolize what it must be like to try coming out of a 3+ year stretch of that much fear and instability.

I don't think Harry was being unreasonable to try to get Ron to do something. I did think that Ron would have gone to Australia with Hermione (at least I thought he promised to at one point in DH).

:( The Burrow is so sad with Fred gone. You capture George's grief in a particularly haunting way. Molly's grief is also extremely realistically done. I really like that Fleur and Ginny are stepping up to help her out while she's taken by sadness.

Visiting the Dursleys is excruciating and yet kind of sweet (at least Dudley is). Ooh, I hope the Dursleys get a good fresh start. It might be just what they needed.

Overall, I do think you're making an intriguing plot and decomposing a lot of post-war issues quite well. You have a great command of writing canon characters while giving them your own spin.

Author's Response: Hi there!! long time no see!

I have been away for a while, so I am so sorry I havent been able to reply yet.. Forgive me???
i am goign away again for a while, but I wanted to respond to your amazingly in depth review. Thankyou for takign the time to read and review that chapter...

You are right.. the ministry should not have had anything to do with where the Durselys were- that should have been Order business.

Ahh welll. My mistake. Still, good pick up! Speaking of, did ron really imply he would go to Oz to pick up Hermiones parents?? Argh, yet another plot hole!
And how sweet of ron to have done that... yeah.. that would have worked really well I think... rather than depressed moody ron... sweet loving selfless ron. I like it... oh if only I had more free time ATM.

I really relaly appreciate the time you took to both read and review this chapter, its really encouraging. For this year, I will struggle to return to HPFF but I wanted to make sure I had responded to your review at least!



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Review #2, by UnluckyStar57 The Temple's Trap

17th December 2013:
Hello again! :)

Bill and Harry are going deeper into the temple, and sinister things are happening! I think it's really cool that Harry is able to sense the energy from the magic--he's certainly learned how to from his years of fighting Voldemort!

I really love how you compared Bill's entrance into the cursed doorway-thing to Sirius' fall into the Veil. It is quite an apt comparison, and you really showed how the events of the war are still affecting Harry. After all, the nightmares and grief didn't just disappear after Voldemort kicked the bucket. Harry still has a lot of psychological problems to work through.

And as he falls through the rabbit-hole like Alice, he thinks back to the "normal" world that he knew before he got trapped in this one. The flashback was great--it shed a lot of light on Harry's relationship with Ginny post-war. From the flashback, I gather that he loves her and she loves him, but she doesn't understand exactly why he's leaving her again. And she doesn't like it, but he's never been the most eloquent hero, so their goodbye is brief and unsatisfying.

Your grammar, spelling, and syntax were all spot-on! Great chapter!


Author's Response: Hi there, thankyou for continuning on with the reviewing of this, I appreciate it.

Did the flash back work? I worry that you had to check the facts, but basically, yes. I tried to cover earlier in the story the bit where the two of them havent had the chance to get back together since Harry returned from saving the world. No time alone to talk - and yeah the flash back was to show that Harry still hadnt found the courage to sort through that - right up until he left for Peru. I cant picture Ginny standing for that type of treatment, even if she is still mourning her brother.

I am trying to keep the story interesting while everyone works through the grief, but trying to convey that empty loss of meaning and purpose in life is a challenge. The living keep living,

Glad the veil/ bill thing worked too - it became a little convoluted to compare the two.

My beta is awesome, isnt she? I dont think I had a beta for the first few chapters, so from here on in, grammar and spelling and stuff might actually be ok!
Thankyou so much for your review!!

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Review #3, by DumbledoresArmyOfOne Chapter 2. The Dursleys Discharged

2nd December 2013:
Hey there! NaNo is over and I have time to breathe and read again!

So here is your requested review!

First of all HOLY CHARACTERIZATION BATMAN! I mean, wow, you've hit the Golden Trio right on the head. I don't know how you stole JKR's brain (and those of her characters) but you're certainly using it wisely.

Everything from Harry's guilt and restlessness to Ron's ears turning pink at whatever Hermione (naughty thing) wrote in that letter was so spot on and I am really impressed.

I loved the scene at the Ministry! The way Harry is still so uncomfortable with his celebrity is very true to canon, and the dialogue with the ministry workers was hilarious- it was like a game of broken telephone, making everything Harry said into something impressive (Curse breaking's just a holiday to him! - brilliant.)

I really loved your attention to detail and scene setting throughout the chapter, especially the scene at the Ministry, with the festive memos and the happy faces. It really conjured a picture in my imagination.

One thing I would say is that you need to be careful with your apostrophes when you're writing and editing: I noticed a few punctuation errors (Dursley's should not be possessive, it's plural). Other than that and a few tiny grammatical errors that only a pedant like me would take issue with, the chapter was very well edited.

I'm really happy you chose Bill as Harry's travelling buddy. As the eldest child, I'd imagine that he would be feeling some of the same feelings of guilt and restlessness that Harry himself has, and the two have some other parallels that make it really believable that they both want out.

The scene at the Burrow, the dinner I mean, was suitably heartbreaking and I think you've done a really excellent job of portraying grief in the Weasley family. Fleur and Molly's relationship is also really well done: you still have those vestiges of hostility and different views, but they've also bonded and that's really evident.

Finally, I mean really, I have to wrap this beast of a review right up, I'm a big fan of this portrayal of the Dursleys, especially Dudley. Fresh starts all around, right? I also love how you showed that shift in harry's perspective. How could he be afraid of his childhood bullies when he's faced Voldemort and come out as the survivor?

Really excellent chapter - I have no criticism to give!

Author's Response: Hi Gilly,

I have been away now for almost a month, and had forgotten that I had requested a review so this was really lovely to come back to, thankyou!

And thankyou for the pick up on the atrocious punctuation!
I have every intention of getting it beta'd but for now, the silly season is upon us and everything I had planned to have done has not been done, and things that I wanted to do are not done and..
Anyway, enough excuses. But I wont be making any promises to improve things any time soon, itll be a couple of months before I get time to think properly again.
I really really appreciated the review too. the one thing I am a bit uncomfortable is the random pairing of Bill and Harry, and if I ever get to rewrite the intro, I will have a prologue wiht a little more time spent developing that relationship before it launches off on a "hey wanna fly aroudn the other side of the world with me?' session.

Anyway, I htink I have thanked you a million billion times, but once more, thankyou!


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Review #4, by Rumpelstiltskin Heroes of Hogwarts

25th November 2013:
Updated *confetti*! Yay!

Okay, I can try to keep an eye out but I can't promise anything. I have a problem with looking at things that I enjoy critically, unless pointed out to me or are very obvious.

Ooh, what's Hagrid up to if not transporting the first-years?

Awe, the second-year is so cute; the one who saved everyone from being dead ^.^! I squee-ed a little when I read that.

It seems very much in Harry's character to give credit to those who deserve it. Ha! And I love Neville's modest reaction too. By the way, "Mouldy Wart" made me laugh.

Colin's a ghost! That makes sense that somebody who died in the battle would come back as a ghost. Again, great characterization.

And there's just so much emotion in this; it's really great!

Ron's jealousy over Krum is priceless :D!

What happened to Harry?! Argh, cliffy! Next chapter please!!



Author's Response: Hey Rumpel!

I have the same problem I can be really critical on the first few chapters and then I usually get sucked into the story. Like the misspelt word in line #1? I missed it up until yesterday!

Cant answer any of your questions without spoiling things for you! Sorry! :-D Hagrid? well he is a little tied up? Harry? Well, something's happened, but I cant tell you what lol.. and you will have to wait a while!
Will be a little delay before the next update sorry :( Am not able to get the next couple of chapters to the beta just yet... Real life is being stupidly busy, but I had to reply to the review at least.

Also, I love Colin as a ghost! Poor Harry, he cant catch a break. :)

I love the fact that you are so consistent with the reviewing! Thank-you so much for all of your reviews, it really means a lot. Thankyou thankyou thankyou!

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Review #5, by maraudertimes Chapter 2. The Dursleys Discharged

20th November 2013:
Hey hey hey!
Lo here with your requested review.

First off: I'M SO SORRY I THOUGHT I PM'ed YOU BUT I GUESS I DIDN'T!!! So to clarify, I just thought the last chapter was a little depressing (though it goes with the story), and flashbacks of the war could spice it up instead of it being just the aftermath, since there's not a lot going on. At one point I just wanted to be like: 'Give them something to do so I don't drown in my tears over their sadness!' Yeah, so sorry about not responding. I totally thought I had!

Okay, onto the actual chapter. At first, the repetitiveness of the 'iridescent purple robes' was a little annoying (iridescent isn't really a common word), but because you only mentioned it three times, that should be a snap to fix. Yup. That's my CC. Seriously. Only one.

Your plot seems to be developing well and your characters seem to be spot on. The Dudley thing really tugged at my heart strings, although I think that perhaps Petunia might be even a little bit relieved that the man who killed her sister was dead (even though they weren't that close, it might be a relief to her). But yeah. Characterization: check!

The scene transitions were fine and I didn't find any plot holes or too big of a jump. I think the flow is very nice and the structure is nicely organized. I honestly don't know what else to say. The dialogue was great, the tone was good, the everything was amazing.

Top notch job!

Author's Response: Hey! Thankyou so much! Glad the scene transitions worked.
Still pondering the sadness of chapter one - flashbacks are a great idea. Or nightmare scenes etc.
I hadn't seen the "iridescent purple" but you are right, it is irritating and now every time I see it I cringe!
Being changed - but I want to change petunias reaction too - it was a good point. I might have a very subtle change in her posture or something - cause you are right, she was the only one who got the significance of the dementors, and in the beginning of Book 7, Harry first realised she was lilys sister.
Thankyou once again for your help - its a really well thought out review, so thankyou very much!

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Review #6, by UnluckyStar57 Curse Breaking

19th November 2013:
Hi! I'm here with the review you requested a few days ago. :)

So, I really like the way that this story is moving along. I noticed that you have a LOT more chapters than you did last time I reviewed you--congratulations!! Also, the banner is really cool!

I liked the suspense in this chapter, and the mummies! Bill and Harry certainly went through a lot to fight them off, and that tells me that there's going to be trouble later on. Good job building the suspense!

I really have no suggestions for you to improve this chapter with--I'm sorry! But I love the way that you've moved your characters along, showing more characterization (Bill's excitement and Harry's musings about Hogwarts, Snape, and Dumbledore). It all fits very nicely into the storyline, and that's great, because it's hard to do that with action stories. One thing that I am looking forward to is seeing some new characters coming into the picture within the next few chapters (I'm sure that you've written them; I just haven't gotten there yet!).

Anyways, this is an exciting and different story, and I hope that your muse does not fail you in the future! :D


Author's Response: Ahh, hi, thankyou for the review, I appreciate your input. I have taken a long time to introduce new characters.. tis kinda hard in an uninhabited tomb with muggle repelling security and stuff like that! Its one of my concerns with the story - that it may get a little long winded with jsut the two of them (and an unlikely pairing at that).

I love the way you sign off... may my muse not fail me in the future!!! How ominous! lol
I dont think I have a muse, so perhaps it wont matter too much if it fails.
...although.I did get to a point a few weeks ago where I had too many loose ends to tie up and couldnt decide which one needed to be addressed first, so decided that killing off Harry would solve all my problems... ( it came to a close run thing in chapter 12!)

Is that a sign my muse is failing me? lol
Pretty sad really.

thankyou again! :)

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Review #7, by toomanycurls Where to from here?

18th November 2013:
Hi!! So, your review request was one of the best ones I've ever had. You're one of the only people to called out what I said I'm good at. So, I'll be tougher than I usually am and won't nit pick grammar (exception HP spelling and anything that makes my brain flip sideways).

This being right after the battle, Harry seems to be going through all the guilt and struggles I'd expect. It seems very Harry-like to turn down the offer to stay with the Weasley family and still feeling like an intruder to their family.

I love that Ron perked up at Harry saying Hermione's name. It's just kind of sweet.

Where is Hagrid going? ooh, you do Hagrid's speech really well. It's consistent and has the right speech markers I'd expect to see.

Hermione's concerns about lifting her parents' memory charm are quite valid. Hagrid does seem to be giving advice that's a bit more well articulated than he usually does (and maybe a bit more well-informed).

Oh I do feel bad that Ron didn't get any offers to turn down.

Harry's indecision and aloofness about what he'd do felt very right. I have to admit, Harry's self-alienation in the last few books bothered me to no end. You're hitting on the same points about him that irked me in the series. :) Which, means you're capturing him quite well!

Oooh, having Bill in need of an escape is excellent. The need for action but not war seems like what Bill would seek after all the grief of the battle. I'm a little surprised that Bill just opened up to Harry like that, but maybe after the war some relationship barriers were obfuscated.

I like his pitch to Harry about going to Peru. It's sweet that Harry is thinking of the Dursleys like he is.

Regarding length, this seems to be a good length for a first/any chapter.

Please re-request for other chapters if you'd like!!

Author's Response: aww yay for being best request ever! I read through your little intro to your review thread and thought it sounded perfect!

Where is Hagrid going? good point! later it becomes clear he stays at Hogwarts, but it probably would have been a good opportunity to clarify that here. that is the type of advice I really really appreciate, thankyou! :) you are right about Hagrids arguments being rather. ahem... well thought out though... I dont know whether to just write that entire exchange out. Maybe Hermione just goes, without the doubts.. I dont know that it adds anything - except to make Hagrid sound a little like he is on a crusade.

Ron is my favourite so dont worry, I wont leave him sad and lonely too long.
Well, actually i probably will.

and yeah, I cannot stand Harry in the last few books! He could have solved so many problems so much earlier if he had just stopped being so secretive and so on... but never mind. Maybe Ill work that into character development!

lol - Bill randomly asking one of his kid brothers mates to travel interstate with him... I get the giggles. I wish I could make that work! ahhh well..
Thankyou soo much for a great review! I really appreciate it! I will probable re request so you get the opportunity to comment on the plot holes and the stuff like do we need to know where Hagrid is going now, or do we wait until chapter 9 where it becomes relevant... I I have so many unanswered questions that I leave until later, and then (like now) I get stuck 15 chapters later where I have so many bits and pieces that all need to be adressed and I cant decide which one is the most important!

Anyway, thanks for the review. Ill be away fro the rest of this month, but Im sure Ill see you again soon! Thankyou very much!

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Review #8, by Rumpelstiltskin The Hogwarts Express

16th November 2013:
Another update, hooray!

I have to say, I'm very happy to see that you didn't kill Harry off. Although I completely understand the dangerous route that writer's block can take a person :p!

Poor Harry, he doesn't even gain some immunity for being the savior of the world! Stupid treaties...stupid Goblins. At least it makes for a very interesting and exciting turn of events. I wonder what will happen.

I loved the part with Arthur's patronus. That made me laugh :).

It's nice to see that Kreacher has changed a bit. I would expect that the war and Harry being his owner would have some influence on him.

Oh Luna-I love every bit of her idiosyncrasy! *Squee* Also, Head Girl? Very nice!

I also love Neville's nerdy botany talk. Can't get enough of that :D! I don't know why, but it made me laugh.

Over already? Ah, I'll wait for the next chapter!


Author's Response: Ahh Rumpel, I love you! In a totally non weird non stalkerish way!
lol.. poor HArry. It would ahve been a very short story!. Kreacher.. meh Im not happy with him, I keep trying to write him as dobby. It doesnt work ,and I suspect this will be one of those chapters I rework a couple of time. Its my therapy for writers block actually, go back and reedit past chapters... Not particularly productive but kinda fun!

Glad neville being botany nerd worked! and luna :) Luna is an extremely difficult character, but I actually felt more comfortable with her than kreacher... lol

yeah, the chapters are feeling short at the moment - i think the dialogue makes them read faster despite the extra words.. not sure though.

anyway, I am having fun with the story, but there may be a little break between the next chapter and the following ones, Im away for 3 weeks.. :)

THankyou sooo much for reviewing again! its great to have someone read it! feel free to criticise though - as you are conssitently reading it at the moment, if you notice plot holes/inconsistencies, point them out! I love improving!
Anthea :)

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Review #9, by Beth Where to from here?

13th November 2013:
Really good! I enjoyed it!

Author's Response: Hey Beth, thanks for taking the time to let me know you are enjoying it! thankyou so much :-D

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Review #10, by maraudertimes Where to from here?

12th November 2013:
I'm here with your requested review!

Okay, so I really liked this. I think your characterizations are spot on, the flow is nice, as well as the transition. It's very good.

Although (and this is just me), the sadness of the piece drags it down a little. They've just been through a war, so even just flashbacks to that might bump the already-good intensity to something more. Of course, this is just me, so if you don't want to do it, that's okay considering it's not as if it's bad without it. Think of the chapter as a sundae with whipped cream, chocolate sauce and sprinkles. That would just be the cherry. In my opinion, of course.

I don't really see any plot holes *now*, but I assume you mean later on in the story.

But yes, I did really like this! I'm excited to see where this goes and I hope you don't just focus on Harry, since I would love to know how Hermione gets her parents back and how Ron deals with how his family is coping, even if its told through Harry's eyes. Although I'm sure you'll do that or something equally as awesome to balance it out! :)

The premise seems really cool though. Harry Potter, curse breaker. It sounds awesome! I really hope you stick with this because I think you could go far with this!

Also, this chapter was kind of heartbreaking, so I'm not going to go into detail about my favourite parts (*cough* Ron/Hermione moments; Ginny/Pitch moment *cough*), but I'll just say I think you've captured the after-war mentality very well!

Great job! Kudos to you!

Author's Response: Hi thankyou for the review! i am goign to be a little demanding and ask if you would be willing to PM me and clarify what you meant by the "dragging it down" comment. My initial thought was that you meant it was depressing and horrible to read, but I was confused by why flashbacks to the war would improve things - then I thought maybe you meant its a little .. boring/uninteresting so the spice/interest of the war might spice things up a little.
If i have understood that correctly, then thats actually a really really good idea! Flashbacks would be awesome.
I am sorry to say, I do focus on Harry. I tried to write in a similar style to JKR. Although she does have switches to "other" POV - like at the riddle house, or snape and narcissa - they are uncommon and usually for unreachable through Harrys POV characters.

Still it is an interesting thought. I may do a one shot on Hermione's time in Australia - I have a scene on it a little later, but it doesnt go into much detail.
hmmm. now you have me thinking.
this is a good thing! What a great review!

Thanks a heap for all your positive comments too - I really do appreciate them, but I love seeing areas in which I can improve :)

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Review #11, by John J Goblins and Broomsticks

12th November 2013:
This is honestly the best fan fiction I've read on this site to date. The pacing is awesome. The way you develop the characters is awesome. The way you connected past events that happened in the books was awesome and it made me want to write some fanfic. I loved the plot twist, didn't see that coming at all.

Author's Response: Wow.
Umm Thankyou!
I am really really glad that this has made u want to start writing ff. Please do!
I started this thinking ff wasnt real writing and I would just use it to practice as my personal writing's kept disappointing me.

Turns out that a) this is real writing, even if I have completely stolen the characterisation s and b) this is the best "practice" I have found! Love the ability to get reviews from people who give feedback on how to improvey writing. Im fairly new here but learning a heap!

Go for it!!!"

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Review #12, by teh tarik Where to from here?

12th November 2013:
Hello there, I'm from the review tag! :)

So, wow! I'm really intrigued by the premise of this story! I always love Cursebreaker and tomb exploring stories, and I love that this will be set in Peru rather than Egypt. I can't wait to see where your story goes; I shall probably be coming back to read the rest soon when NaNo is over and all.

Anyway, aww, this was such a terribly heartbreaking beginning. :( You've captured the plight of the Weasleys so well, from George's strange fits of laughter to Mrs Weasley's cooking and crying fixation to that terribly sad moment between Harry and Ginny in the Quidditch pitch. It was a lovely choice of setting, by the way. The vastness of the pitch really reinforced that huge emotional distance between both of them at this moment.

I think this was a really strong start, by the way! The chapter length is alright; you've definitely set the scene well. You've portrayed a grieving and guilty Harry, who also feels rather aimless now that his big job is done and that the prophecy days are over. It definitely makes sense why he would want to take off to a distant country and continue to seek adventure. After all, his life for the past seven years have been so packed with movement and action. I can see why he would yearn for something familiar, especially in such a difficult time.

I also really love the way you wrote Hermione's dilemma with her parents. It was quite a unique way of doing it, how she feels that she has no right to ruin their happiness, and also the possible guilt she might feel for manipulating them by modifying their memories.

Anyway, this was a great start! I really enjoyed this and I'm looking forward to reading more. Great work! :)


Author's Response: Hey teh, thankyou for such a great review!

Yeah I really wanted the picture of the quidditch pitch torn up. It was something that stuck with me- the scars in the earth. There was a scene in one of the movies that I really keep seeing in my head.

Im glad the Hermione bit worked well for you. Its something I have had to go back and redo a couple of times. Im not entirely convinced she doesnt change her mind too quickly. Im glad ive finally managed to convey the whys of why she would consider not going at all though.

Thankyou for such a long and detailed review.

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Review #13, by Rumpelstiltskin Goblins and Broomsticks

12th November 2013:

Sorry for yelling, I got excited.

Luna! I always appreciate an insertion of her character as, even if it is brief, she always seems to make things interesting. You have done a wonderful job on her characterization, keeping her in cannon and whatnot. But when haven't you done a good job at characterization? :)

And poor George! Aw, that really breaks my heart!

I'm really curious to see where Harry and Ginny's relationship will go or if it will go anywhere at all.

Oh yeah, I suppose that Harry would be kind of in trouble for breaking into Gringotts. Death by beating? Crazy Goblins. I'm very intrigued to see where you are going to take this! A rebellion? Oh this is exciting! I am sensing some ACTION!

You can't end a chapter like that! The anticipation will kill me! Although, that may be the point :)! I can't wait for more!!


Author's Response: Rumpel! you're back!
I really hope something good happens to you this week. Like you get given a $20 bill for no good reason, or someone random comes and gives you a hug, or you get the closest carpark to the shopping centre.

My beta has been particularly awesome and reviewed 3 chapters at once for me, so the next chapter is already in the queue you wont have to wait long. I will confess though that there were a few hairy moments a while back where I was seriously considering killing Harry off in this chapter... writers block can be a killer. lol pun intended.

Oh, I know what I can do for you. Better than carparks and $20 bills..
I can go review your stuff! lol
talk soon!

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Review #14, by Rumpelstiltskin Interviews and Summonses

25th October 2013:
Ah, here we are at chapter nine!

Might I just say: OH-MY-GOODNESS!

What with the Draco and the interview and the SNAPE and what have you!

It's nice to see that these two are gaining a bit of redemption :). Each and every chapter never cease to amaze me!

I am experience a bit of shell-shock due to my inner turmoil battle of not being able to pres the "Next Chapter" button :(. I miss that button. (And for once it's not due to my time constraints!)

I suppose this is where we part for now. Although, I have been meaning to check out some of your other stories once I catch up on all of the reviews I owe people!

Also, if you happen to update this and I'm neglectful of noticing (because my currently reading list is FAR too lengthy) feel free to PM me. A sharp jab from a PM will make me realize that you've updated :).

Until next time


Author's Response: Awww,... I will miss seeing your reviews on my little project! The next couple of chapters have had to be completely scrapped and rewritten because I changed my mind completely about a major plot point.

But that would be telling! Once again, your reviews have meant a great deal to me, so thankyou very very much!


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Review #15, by Rumpelstiltskin Diagon Alley

25th October 2013:
Hooray! The ice cream parlor's been reopened! I'm happy to see signs of reconstruction in the wizarding world. Not to mention the characters starting to move on as well.

I think that the entire HP fandom would benefit from reading this, if only to gain some closure.

You are doing a wonderful job at pegging the character's healing processes, really. Fred's justification of creating "Anti-Dark Weapons" is a prime example of this. He's settled on a path of vengeance as a coping method, ascertaining that he needs to cling to something (anything) to make this okay. Although I highly doubt that they ever will truly be.

Now I'm sad -_-...moving along...

Oh poor pygmy puff! Easy there Hermione...

Dear gods! I didn't think of the Harry enthusiasts. They might almost be as bad as fangirls. It is best to hide now Harry...best to hide.

I think I died a bit during the whole "they were all wearing thongs" scene. Holy crow that was too funny...made me spit out my coffee a bit :).

Oh no! There's only ONE more chapter posted :(.

I'm on it!


Author's Response: Hey, I have already responded to this review but it is still coming up as unanswered, so I guess I must have forgotten to save it or something. If however you get 2 very similar but not identical responses, now you know why!
I started by telling you how much your reviews mean to me (a lot)
then I said something along the lines of:
I wrote this because I was desperate for closure myself too! I felt robbed by the epilogue and I just wanted one more chapter to tie off everything.
I decided I would write it, just for my own peace of mind. I couldn't fi it into just one chapter though and that is how this little project was born.
Since joining HPFF I have discovered that around a million people have attempted the same thing, which I had no idea when I first started this, and sometimes I think I could have found my closure just reading someone else's. But by that stage, this story was absolutely pounding at my head trying to get out, and well... c'est la vie. :P

I am glad you found the thongs thing funny :) I find the whole idea of giggling over the word thong incomprehensible, but I have noted that non-australians think it is hilarious, so I tried to aim for that when writing the reactions of Harry and Ron! Mission success! Thankyou!

I actually found the idea of the Dursley's hanging out with a completely muggle community the funny part of that section, but I might be alone in that! never mind.

Next chapter is on its way, the rewrite was a major plot point change so required almost a complete scrapping of the following chapters as well.
that would be telling though.

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Review #16, by Rumpelstiltskin The Leaky Cauldron

24th October 2013:
Oh, I've reached the final three posted chapters already?

Very well, let the reviewing begin!

So the bit about the color of magic was interesting. I've never really contemplated the color that certain spells retain. But that is where your brilliance shines yet again, what with the ponder about and explaining concepts that I have never envisaged.

Ah Goblins with their desiring excessively and whatnot! (I found Urkorg to be a very fitting name for a Goblin by the way.)

I do admire the way Harry attempts to refuse payment (until Bill interferes). It's just like Harry to do this as he's taken on the adventure for his own personal purposes...not to mention that he probably has enough money as it is :).

I see poor Mrs. Weasley's cooking skills are still suffering. I hadn't mentioned it before, but that idea is a fantastic way to demonstrate Mrs. Weasley's grief over Fred.

Another thing that I hadn't mentioned, it is nice to see Fleur and Mrs. Weasley getting on decently now. Although I suppose that tragedies do have the tendency to bring people together. :)

Oh Luna! I love how you described Luna's participation in conversation by "making awkwardness the norm." This is too funny and yet so very true!

The fact that you made the family clock include Harry was quite enjoyable. It's such a sweet little notion!

To answer some of the questions in your responses:

The term "my heart is extended to you" is just another way of saying that you have earned my affections :). Severus Snape is one of my favorite characters to write and read about.

Also, don't feel asamed of anything! Your writing is lovely and I truly enjoy reading your work. English just happens to be what I major in while minoring in foreign language. Thus, language in general is merely an obsession of mine! :)

Ah, ja...Ich bin Amerikanerin (for the most part). But please don't judge me onmy nationality. Just know that I will be lacking the letter "u" in certain words. I vow to not use any ridiculous slang or run about claiming that football is actually soccer...


At any rate...I suppose I should be off to the next chapter :)


Author's Response: Hui Rumpel! thankyou for your faithful reviews!

Next chapter is with beta as we speak, and the delay is caused by a combination of real life, and the fact that I decided to make a major plot change in the next chapter, and as a result had to rewrite it (and the subsequent chapters) completely!

On the other hand, you will be hopefully relieved to hear that I don't kill off Harry in chapter 10 and the story continues! ;)

Oh I had so much trouble with goblin names. I had originally called him Urkog the Unpleasant, cause I thought Urkog alone sounded a little like a giant name. In the end I decided the whole "Bodrod the Bearded" naming etc was sooo last century. None of the current goblins have a label included as part of their appellation.

Well, I like your cute expression about stretching out your heart, and I wont hold your americanism against you. Im a 'strayan so I dont believe in 3-syllable-words, and think vowels are an optional extra :)

As such, I also feel that Soccer is the correct term. Unlike our pommie friends :P.

The national league has just changed from soccer to football, but the rest of the country is struggling to change suit.

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Review #17, by Rumpelstiltskin Perception

24th October 2013:
Oh thank god! There's Bill XD!

I just love his easiness. Oh, it's alright that we can't move Harry...really it is just fine! I am really enjoying his character. He's quite lovely.

Ugh! Of course the runes say that! What kind of action/adventure would this be if there weren't ominous warnings written above passageways! (Have I mentioned before that I love this plot!)

Woohoo! The treasure! They've found the treasure! (And Harry was right the first time, Bill's job is AWESOME!)

I really liked how Harry stated his decision out loud and Bill responded with "What? Now?" as they were in the middle of searching for cursed artifacts. That made me laugh!

And why do I get the feeling that setting up camp on "the golden sun" isn't such a good idea...

Ah! I am sorry to have to cut this review a bit short, but I have run out of time! Just think of it this way, you wont have to deal with as much craziness in this review! Yay!

So this was a fun game, and I am really anticipating being able to read the next chapter soon!!

Until then,

Author's Response: You're so fun!

I am editing that chapter again as we speak (well no, not write this second, cause obviously I can only type in one box at a time,) but that first paragraph is about to lose one of its more redundant sentences.

Despite that, I am glad you enjoyed the whole adventure business. :) treasure!

Also, kinda glad you liked Bill too, he was hard. He breaks curses for a living! He is a weasley! He is cool!

I like him too :)

Really really really really appreciate your reviews!

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Review #18, by Rumpelstiltskin The Temple's Trap

24th October 2013:
See there? You've started the chapter off with that beautiful discreet imagery in the very first sentence! It's like your past self was knowing exactly what the present me was looking for!

-_- I am sorry that I am being weird again...

But, seriously, cannon perfection, Fred's memorial, Snape's memorial, Bill adopting Moody's saying, an action/adventure HP fanfiction that picks up where Rowling left off, temples, cursed mummies, Bill Weasley, AND this new discovery of discreet imagery...you wrote this story for me, didn't you XD!

...Okay I'm done being weird now I think.

Oh god, where did Bill go?! Talk about suspense! Go Harry! Go find Bill for the love of Merlin!

Oh snap. Now he's falling!

Okay, so there is something seriously wrong with me...

Right, so this scene was again brilliant (and you let me know if you ever get tired of hearing that). I love the dilemma of whether or not to follow Bill, I love the Sirius Black reference, I love the falling sequence, I love Harry's thoughts of Ginny, I love the flashback (which was flawless in application)...

and I love the way I hated the way you ended this chapter! Argh! Cliffhangers!

Luckily for me I have time for another chapter!

Right after this story gets Favorited...because you've earned it. (If for nothing else, then for putting up with an insane reviewer like me :) ). So welcome to Rumpel's favorite stories list! Have fun with the other favorites :).


Author's Response: Aww favourite-d! thankyou!

But I have to assume from that you are american cause you have no U in favourite? lol

Glad the cliff hanger works. I am never quite sure whether reading through the story sucks you in or not, and so its really nice to hear that it does!
You are NOT an insane reviewer. You are really really really encouraging! Thankyou so much for all the lovely reviews and ecnouragement. I absolutely love the idea of FF for that very reason - cause amazing people like you take the time to not only read, but tell me what you think! Wow!

Really appreciate you taking the time.

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Review #19, by Rumpelstiltskin Curse Breaking

24th October 2013:
I am back! :) *initiate the fanfare*

I really need to get caught up on the chapters of the stories that I am currently reading. So I have decided to play a game and see how many chapters of THIS story I can read and review before I go to my next job XD!

And go!

My heart is extended to you for the little Snape memorial :). (Mind you, I am saying this in a much calmer fashion than I had physically displayed.) Also, I love that you are keeping with Moody's (Now Bill's) "Constant vigilance!" It is too funny.

That being said, I'm glad to see that Harry is still reflecting on his emotions and the past. It would have been very easy for you to neglect all of this as though Harry has moved on or something. But not you! I think that it is little things like this that make me really enjoy reading this story. You know, besides the fact that Harry and Bill are in an adventure in Peru!

Also, you certainly have a knack for discreet imagery. You don't use a ton of imagery, but where you sneak it in is brilliant. This is a unique writing technique that I can honestly say I haven't seen before (and I love it, by the way). You aren't bombarding the readers with a ton of grueling, bulky (not to mention irrelevant) details :). In case you have no idea what I am talking about (as I have the tendency to be that way), here's my favorite example of the chapter: "It sounded like a muffled version of the Entrance Hall...their shoes as they entered."

Hooray for action! This was a very well written action scene in my opinion (as if that matters). It flowed perfectly, it was exciting and interesting, it was a significant piece of the plot, and left me cheering Harry and Bill on to kick some mummy's cursed butts!

Right then, onwards!

Je suis prÍt pour le prochain chapitre!


Author's Response: See now there you go with your complex descriptions again. What does your heart extending to me signify? Gratitude or sympathy are my guesses? Or empathy, or a combination of the both or.. perhaps its a way of reaching out in mutual sorrow...
"My heart is extended to you" It is a lovely, really pretty sentence, I just feel liek I havent quite grasped the meaning!

You have such a grasp of the English language you just make me feel a little ashamed of myself. I'm flattered that you are reading my work (and continuing to leave reviews!)
Thankyou very very very much.
Im actually really thrilled you like the imagery. And that you used the words subtle and discreet. I had vague memories of waffling for ages in descriptive terms in those chapters, so I had to go back and reread, but it seems I must have trimmed some of the fludd away in my edit last week, so I am glad you think it is not overpowering.

And Ive never written action before, so I am basking in the commendation! Thankyou, your reviews mean so much to me, and (as Im sure you know)
they just mean the world !

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Review #20, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter 3: Hiking in Peru

23rd October 2013:
Oh hooray the adventure begins!

I love that you are using Harry's ability to communicate with snakes to assist him in his journey. It is something that makes complete sense to go along with the story but for some reason struck me. You are very clever concerning this cannon thing...


You will have to excuse me but I am overtired and feeling particularly slow tonight. I wanted to read one more chapter and review before i finished my studying and caught some Zs before exams. Just forgive any craziness that might occur during this review.


I am really adoring the plot...it is so much fun! I love adventure. It's like Indiana Jones! XD

...maybe...focus Rumpel...


Okay, I give up...

I really enjoyed this chapter. It was brilliant (in other words, it was the complete opposite of me at the moment).

I promise to be more awake and less teetering on the edge of insanity when I R & R your next chapter.

So...until then,

Author's Response: Lol I think this is one of my favourite reviews ever! Love that u go tired and crazy too!
The snake bit was a new edit, not in the original version, but ive just rewritten the chapter to include it. Dont know why, but based on your feedback, im glad I did!

The edit was meant to be to rewrite a few of the more terrible sentence construction.. but the snake scene just wanted to come out and be heard.
Thanks for the feedback.

Ive never seen indiana jones but that is exactly what I was aiming for, so merci du compliment.

Im trialling my terrible french cause ur mta says ur into it?

Thankyou again!!

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Review #21, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter 2. The Dursleys Discharged

23rd October 2013:
Hello there!

You've done a lovely job (again) keeping the characters in cannon. I find this particularly striking as you are displaying a period of grieving for these characters. That is, it is quite lovely to see an author be able to carry through the attributes of certain characters during highly emotional times.

By the way, not only do I love the scene with Harry's Uncle Vernon (as he is blaming Harry for everything), I also tremendously enjoy Dudley's bewilderment. I found that to be particularly hysterical!

At any rate, I am extremely excited to read about the adventures that Harry is sure to have in Peru. I should be able to get to the next chapter after work (and if not hopefully by tomorrow)!

Until then

Author's Response: Ooh wow not a double but a triple review! You have no idea how excited I am by that. Especially considering when I tagged u I was tired and unenthusiastic! Lol you are way too kind!
I love that your verbosity carries into your reviews too! You have such an awesome way with words. Im really glad u appreciate the grief process.

And yeah. Dudley is one of my favourite minor characters to portray. Hes always so funny and pathetic. I just love writing him in.
I am really glad you're enjoying this! Thankyou for the bonus reviews!

Also, I have rechecked this but yet again I am typing from my phone so I will either double post or predictive text will translate my post... or some other disaster will befall me. If so, I apologise in advance! Thanks a heap!

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Review #22, by Rumpelstiltskin Where to from here?

22nd October 2013:
Review tagging!

I really should not be playing review tag at the moment,but I saw your name pop up and this story has been on my reading list for a while so here I am (in one extremely long run on sentence)!

So, I do enjoy the dynamic of Harry's feelings regarding leaving Hogwarts. I believe it is a very real way to express how Harry must be torn between not wanting to leave but not wanting to be stay.

It is nice to see that you are using this chapter to show the aftermath of the war. The clean-up and reconstruction of the school, Hermione planning to reunite with her parents now that the danger is over, Hagrid pressing to know what the Golden Trio are planning to do now (a clever little writer's exposition, by the way), and generally what people are up to in the time right after the war are all very good answers to questions that I'm sure have been on many HP fan's minds.

I also liked the awkward atmosphere surrounding Harry and Ginny. I know that they had kind of agreed not to date until the turmoil was over but I couldn't see them running into each other's arms directly after the war in a declaration of undying love. That is especially true concerning that throughout the HP series their relationship and interactions could not be described as anything but awkward. I suppose what I am attempting to say is: hooray for cannon and good on you!

As a side note, thank you for mentioning the Weasley's grief over Fred's death...and for breaking my heart a bit. I miss Fred...:(

At any rate, I apologize for my dizzying ranting. I tend to become a tad eccentric when I get excited.

I am very interested to read more!


Author's Response: Hi, I realised I have review tagged you, before I even bothered to reply to your review.
Actually, that is not true. I started to reply earlier, but had several embarrassing slip ups when trying to use my phone on the forums and jsut decided against the whole idea.

Anyway, thankoyu for the review! I love canon, and trying to make it bigger and so I am glad this rang true to Canon.
I really wanted to make this a "tying up loose ends" type thing, so I am a little concerned about wrapping up too many loose ends too quickly.

I am missing an education. A "clever little writers exposition"?

Ok.. ill be back.. have to google it...


Ok. to rephrase "clever little way of conveying information"?

Awesome! that is exactly the phrase I have been searching for, thankyou!
I am trying to write a challenge on that - only someone told me it was a plot device.
So I really really like it when authors can convey information in action or dialgoue rather than explaining it to the reader. You know, show us instead of tell us?

So I am not very good at it (and didnt know how to explain it in the first place) but I am so glad you found an example for me!
You have just made my day, thankyou soo much for your review.. I am currently trying to do more of that type of thing in my writing, but it is not something that comes naturally for me. Not having a concrete way to enunciate what I was thinking didnt help.

Ahhh.. this is a eureka moment. You have no idea!
Anyway, thankyou :)

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Review #23, by Bardic Magic The Leaky Cauldron

26th September 2013:
I agree with Potter - good story so far. I like the storyline. I think the reference to "choppy" might be in reference to a little bit of disjointedness in your scene transitions and scene completions. Some of your scenes don't feel filled out or complete. I would love to have read more about the temple, curses and especially some explanation of how Bill deciphers curses. Just a little constructive criticism - I hope it helps! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: I love it, thankyou!

That is something I will have to be careful of in the future then I think , really really appreciate your feedback!


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Review #24, by Potterrrrr The Leaky Cauldron

11th September 2013:
I like your story so far. Kinda of choppy but a good story. Keep it up!

Author's Response: HEy ,thankyou for the review, really appreciate it... will have to go back and check out the chopping and changing - stuff especially if you are talking scene changes.. I think I do that a bit in the upcoming chapters too. (will be a 2 week delay before they are up, getting beta's atm :) Thankyou!!!

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Review #25, by DumbledoresArmyOfOne Where to from here?

2nd September 2013:
Hey there! I'm here, after an embarrassingly long wait, with your requested review.

This is such a perfect opening chapter! You said in your request that you were trying to imitate Jo, and I think you definitely succeeded. Your writing here has the same clear, cut and dried flavour as hers, and I'm really impressed at the maturity of the emotions that Harry feels. Your characterization of Harry, Hagrid and Bill was perfect.

This was a very good introduction- the setting and characters and events of the chapter seem almost canon. I do think that perhaps Hermione's issues with her parents were resolved too quickly. It seemed like a problem that went to deep to be solved with one conversation, and it seems like something that would come back and haunt her, instead of her agreeing to leave for Australia right away- I don't know, it just seemed a bit sudden.

Your grammar and spelling are impeccable, fantastic descriptions and all in all a great way to start what I'm sure will be a fantastic story.

Keep up the fabulous work!

Author's Response: Hi Sorry for the delay in getting back to you but thankyou so much for the lovely review!
I appreciate the comment about Hermiones issues - it is rushed through a little. I am not sure that it is something I will go back and change just now. I may add a prologue at some point in time, and if I do, I may then pad that out a little, but I think that your feedback in that regard will be of more use in improving that type of issues writing in the future (which is what I really want to get out of reviews - ways to improve!
I really appreciate all the positives in the review, so thankyou very much.

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